 Dedicated to the strength of the nation now heard on more than 1,300 radio stations. Proudly we hail. Proudly we hail starring Billy Burke in the fabulous Deleers. The United States Army and United States Air Force presentation. And now here is your producer, the well-known Hollywood showman, C.P. McGregor. Thank you, thank you. And greetings from Hollywood, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to your Theatre of Stars, where the motion picture world's finest talent appears in Pleasure and Joy. Billy Burke is our proudly we hailed star and appears in a brilliant comedy, The Fabulous Deleers. Miss Burke portrays the mother of a very confusing family and does so in her usual excellent manner, with hilarious situations. We'll have the curtain for act one of our comedy in just a moment. But first, Wendell Niles. Friends, your representative abroad is the U.S. Army or Air Force man. Both abroad and at home, he represents a free way of life, a nation devoted to peace. His is an honorable and respected career. And that's why so many of the best young men in America are volunteering for a career in our Army or Air Force. Your soldiers and airmen are engaged in a work that is increasing their personal stature in the eyes of their countrymen and at the same time keeping America strong and at peace. Now once again, our producer. It's curtain time and here's act one of The Fabulous Deleers starring Billy Burke as Cynthia Deleer. The Deleer family was comprised of four. There were three children now growing up, Nancy, Pete and Christine. And there was the mother Cynthia. And that was what perplexed the neighbors. How a mere four could create such constant pandemonium. He has to say that Cynthia Deleer and her family were merely eccentric as bearing very unkind to adjectives. But let's drop into the Deleer living room and observe them in person. All but mother who hasn't arrived home yet. Why doesn't someone answer the door? I'm busy, but you get it, Christine. When you're certainly a revolting sex with a lulling about like a washed out beachcomber, I thought you said you were busy nature boy. I'm busy relaxing. Dear sister. Anybody live here? You call this living? What do you want? Well, if I must be explicit, your furniture. Are you Mrs. Deleer? No, I'm Miss Deleer. Look, would you mind saying what you said over again? Well, it's very simple, Mrs. Deleer. I represent the firm of Hackett and Chase. They're lawyers and they represent... Don't tell me. Let me guess. Oh, let me. Our creditors. Right. I've come to collect on the assorted notes they hold. Or you take the furniture? Well, that, plus the house, the grounds and other tangible properties. Oh, no. If you promise to take tone debt over there at the piano, it's a deal. Pete, I... Oh, this is awful. I'm sorry, Mr. Deleer, but that's the way it is. Please understand it. It isn't anything personal. I just happen to be working my way through law school with this job. Oh, dear, there's always some trouble. Well, you might as well come in and wait for mother. Thank you. Sit down anywhere you like. The furniture's yours anyway. There are 88 notes to choose from and she can't find a good one. Christine, for heaven's sake, if you're going to play, you don't have to play so loudly. In any way, the man's come for your piano. What did you say? This man wants some money or out everything goes. Oh, oh, pardon me. This is my sister Christine Deleer. I'm Nancy and this is Pete. Hi. Well, why on earth didn't mother pay these people? Could be. She didn't have any money. I read somewhere there are people like that. Don't be flippant, Pete. You know perfectly well there's money. At least there always is on the first of the month. This is the tenth. No payments have been made for two years. Two years? Oh, dear, this is terrible. And Hackett and Chase have reached the limit of their patience. You can't blame them. No, no, I suppose not. Oh, dear, I wish mother would come. Mr. Newell, can't we give you something, some tea? There's no tea, I looked. Coffee? No, we're out of that too. You, you're on business. Oh, but, well, that's no reason we can't be friends. No, no, it isn't. You know, you're really all right. I, I am. You really are. Oh, well, I, oh, I just realized my hair. I haven't finished drying it. Oh, I like it that way. Reminds me of, of limp noodles. Uh-oh, a conquest Nancy. You'd better take advantage of it. Well, so long as you're not taking the piano today, I think I'll go meditate on my concerto. Children? Children? Oh, here's mother now, Mr. Newell. And Newell, I'm warning you. From now on, anything can happen. Oh, children, I've had the most wonderful afternoon. I, oh, oh, what a charming young man. You must ask him to stay for dinner, Nancy. He came to see you, mother. Well, he can still stay for dinner. Oh, but children, I want you to see what I brought home. I found him in the park. Lo, I want you to meet everybody and I want everybody to meet you. Yes, ma'am. Good heavens. Who on earth is that? His whole name is Mordecai Smith. That's right, folks. But my friends call me Mo. You guys can call me Mo. Mo can cook. You mean really, ma'am? Isn't that wonderful? As soon as he told me, I said, Mo, you shouldn't live alone. We need you. You know how it is living alone. You go off your feet. So I took up cooking to take me mind off me stomach. He was head chef at Leavenworth. But, mother, that's a penitentiary. But of course it is, darling. Mother knows that. Mo was sent up three times, weren't you, Mo? Yeah. But I always got out on good behavior. But what was the use? I only had to go back again. After all, a guy has to eat and nobody would give me a job. You know how it is. Yes, yes, indeed, yes. We know. But as Shakespeare says, sweet are the uses of adversity. No, mother, not Shakespeare now. Which, like the toad ugly and venomous, wears yet a precious jewel in his head. And this hour life exempt from public haunt finds tongues in trees, books in the running brooks, sermen in stones, and good in everything. Gee. That was swell, lady. Oh, really, doll? You know any more? Know any more, my dear man. I was one of America's foremost Shakespearean actresses. Mother, you must listen to me for just a moment. Mr. Newell wants to talk to you. Oh, how nice. I shall adore talking to Mr. Poole. The name is Newell. Oh, I'm sorry. And we'll talk in a minute, but first I must get Mo to work. Want that I should make you a cake for dinner? You can bake a cake? I'm sure if you can produce a cake and our bear an excuse for a pantry, you're a magician. Peter, our larder is loaded. Show Mo our beautiful kitchen. Come on, Mo. It's up to you to produce a cake. I'd be right in, Mo. Oh, dear, I'm so happy about him. He's going to stay here and cook for us. An ex-convict live here? Oh, why not? The poor man has to live someplace. Mother, it won't matter about Mo because he won't live here. Oh, good heavens. So early in the afternoon. I wouldn't think of letting him take it now. Everything's so must-up. And besides, Mo's using the kitchen. Mother, you don't understand. Mrs. Deleer, the collection company I represent has a lien. They're coming tomorrow afternoon to take over, the furniture and everything. Oh, dear. Why didn't you say so in the first place? Take our house and furniture? What are we going to do? I don't know, Mrs. Deleer. Don't worry about that. You just can't come dashing in and taking everything out from under us, making some without some provision. Well, I simply won't go to that clock hotel. It's grim. Don't you think it's grim? That lobby, for instance. Now when I was studying interior decorating, I was no more a... You can't blame Hackett and Chase. I beg your pardon. Mother, that's the name of the firm he works for. It's not up to them to take care of us. We've got to take care of ourselves. The name is new. Oh, I'm sorry. But actually, must we all be so downright serious about this simple little matter? Oh, Mother, it isn't a simple little matter. We've got to raise money somehow to pay them or out we go. That's right, Mrs. Deleer. And you look like such a nice young man. Let that be a lesson to you, Nancy. Never trust a good-looking young man. Mrs. Deleer, I hate this as much as you do. Oh, that's a very pretty speech. But it doesn't give us back our house. And another thing. You simply can't take the house till after next Wednesday because next week is Boy Scout Week. Boy Scout Week? Yes. Mother, what in heaven's name is that to do with taking our house? Well, because I felt I should do something about it. I don't ever want it said of me that I don't do my part in the building of youth. Ah, yes, yes, I know. But Mother, what's that to do with Wednesday? I just dropped into Scout headquarters. I invited the scout master to lunch and he's bringing a Boy Scout along. Remind me to get that youngster's name, dear. And it began with a T. T, well, well, well, well, no, no, no, no. I want to have place cards, you know. Oh, Mother. Mother, we can't even feed ourselves, let alone a hungry scout master in his charge. Well, still, we must do our part, dear. Oh, we mustn't be selfish. Take the house. I'll be given time to think this over. I hate to remind you, Mrs. Deleer, but you've had two years to think it over. I don't believe in making snap judgments. Yes, I can see that. Besides, it wouldn't be fair to you to hack it and run or whatever those silly names are. Oh, yes. Well, tomorrow then, and we'll have a nice long talk. Goodbye. She's some woman, your mother. Yes, yes, isn't she? Oh, dear, I don't know what to do or what to tell you, except come and get it whenever you're ready. Well, maybe I can talk to my bosses. Maybe there's some way you could make payments. Look, none of us earn any money. We don't know how. We only know how to spend it. You see, we get an income, a small income, but that's gone almost as soon as we get it. You've been very nice, and I'm afraid you must think it's pretty incompetent and silly. Well, the Deleers are kind of delirious. Oh. But I'd like to come back and see you. I mean, when I'm not on business. Nancy! Yes, Mother? Tell Mr. Newell not to slam the door on his way out. Most cake will fall. Oh, Mother! It's all right, really. Besides, you finally got my name right. Because briefly from our story, the fabulous Deleers, starring Billy Burke, to bring you an important message from your government. You young fellas who want to fly, do you remember that U.S. Air Force plane you saw winging through the sky the other day? Well, the pilot was a young man interested in aviation just like you. He had completed two years of college, or maybe he passed an equivalent exam given by the Air Force. He was single between the ages of 20 and 26 and one-half, and had met the physical requirements. He went to aviation cadet school. He learned all about airplanes, their engines, how to pilot them, how to chart his course. After a year of this training, which he completed successfully, he was commissioned a pilot in the U.S. Air Force Reserve. Or maybe he qualified for a regular commission. Either way, his pay now ranges up to $336 a month. And he's doing what he loves, flying. Why don't you find out if you can qualify for aviation cadet pilot training? Ask at any Air Force base or recruiting station right away. Our curtain rises in act two of the fabulous Deleers starring Billy Burke as Cynthia Deleer. The incredible Deleers about to be dispossessed from their home in a foreclosure threatened by Hackett and Chase don't seem to be too much concerned about the crisis. Led by their whimsical mother, Cynthia, they have gathered around their home. It seems the Leavenworth loss was the Deleers game. Boy, what a cake. Gosh, folks, I'm glad you like it. Oh, Mo, it's grand. We live like this from now on. Cakes, pies, everything. Mo says he can cook everything. Yes, ma'am, at Leavenworth I cook for $3,000 and three meals a day too. $3,000, think of that. Mo? Mo, I've got an idea. Wonderful idea. Now, Mother, please, no more ideas. We're in enough trouble as it is. But this is an idea that will save our house and furniture and everything. We'll open an inn. We'll call it the Cafe De Deer. How vulgar. Anything that makes money is not vulgar, Christine. If Mo can cook for 3,000 people, why not twist it? Wait a minute. Maybe Mother's got something there. Wednesday we'll have Mr. Newell. Am I right? Yes, Newell. Bring his two funny little men over and we'll surprise them by proving that we can serve a perfectly wonderful lunch and then they'll tear up that lean thing or whatever you call it that they have to tear up when they take your house away and then they'll let us stay on. Pete, I think you're right. Mother does have something there. I'll be hostess. I've got a lovely tea gown. It will be just the right thing. Nancy can be cashier. Just as long as she doesn't play the piano, she can do anything. Mother, for once in your life, I really think you've got a paying idea. Well, of course I have, dear. If I do say it myself, your mother's a very clever, charming woman. Now let me see. Oh, dear. I wonder where we should sit, Mr. Herket. Herket. I mean packet. Oh, Pete. Hmm, lunch smells wonderful. Put who, Mother? That dreadful man whose name begins with an H. The one who's coming in for the, you know, for the house. Oh, well, the house is practically his and put him at the... Perfect idea. By the way, Mother, what became of my black silk dressing robe? Oh, I gave it to MacRuscio over a cloak. MacRuscio? I never heard of him. Oh, don't be tiresome, Pete. He's perfectly marvelous character, lived in Elizabethan times and made beautifully. You don't mind, do you, dear? Dying beautiful? Oh, loaning your robe. We're doing Romeo and Juliet at my dramatic class. I think costumes help such a lot. Hmm. You haven't got enough places at the table, have you? Well, of course I have. One, two, three. Oh, the Boy Scout. The Scout Master. Boy Scout? Yes, remember, this is Boy Scout Week in our city and we must do our part. Yes. I think it begins with a T, yes, T. That's right. He must be a very fat boy because the Scout Master said it would take a lot of food. Well, I guess Mo can take care of that, all right. Oh, and I must find Christine. She's to play. She only knows one piece, the tale of the Vienna Woods. Be sure she plays that or we're dead. Oh, I'll make sure. That's so lovely with lunch. I always consider Strauss an excellent aid to digestion. He wants to the door, darling, right away. Yes, mother. Good morning, gentlemen. Good morning, Mr. Lear. This is Mr. Hackett, the head of the firm. Mr. Chase couldn't get away. Never mind all that, I'm in a hurry. I just want to look things over, Miss. See what condition the furnace is in. Cigarette burn just as I thought. Now look here, now. And that cane seed that needs bending. Oh, and a wine stain. Disgraceful. Totally irresponsible people, it's plain to see. Waves nine, you know. That little adage, remember, my boy? Hey, hey, Mrs. Dilly, I've got to see you. Them church down at the market forgot to do. Oh, excuse me. Who's this creature? And stop waving that knife. Who, me? If I was to see that butcher, I'd use this knife. Mo, Mo, do go back into the kitchen. How do you do, gentlemen? This is Mo, you must mind him. He's just out of Leavenworth and a little unrestrained. Leavenworth? He killed anyone. Except accidentally. And you'll forgive him even that after you've had lunch. Lunch? Why, who said anything about lunch? Well, that's what you're here for, didn't you know? Oh, dear, dear. Why don't people tell people things? I never eat lunch, my Libby, you know. Oh, I'm sorry. But how lovely, because that leaves more for him. The Boy Scout. There's one coming for lunch. I told the scout master that the members of your firm were rather acting as hosts to him because you know this is Boy Scout Week. Really, that's something of an imposition, madam, you know. You really are, you know. After all, it is your furniture and your house and in a manner of speaking your food that certainly makes you host. Well, I hadn't thought of that. Then everything's settled. You'll stay. Oh, of course you will. How lovely of you. Just put your briefcase over there and make yourself at home. Oh, excuse me, I won't be a minute. What's that? It must be an earthquake. Now, keep your heads, children. Don't stand under any falling bricks. Well, I don't know. I guess it's the scout master with that young master, T. Haven't I forgot to get his name? Oh, looks as though he's brought friends. Franz, he's brought a whole troupe. Troupe? That was his name. Well, how wonderful of you to think of it, young man. Good heavens, no wonder the scout master was worried about food. Oh, mother dear, you didn't invite one scout. A troupe of them. A whole troupe. Thank you for lunch, ma'am. Oh, how nice to see you, Mr.... all of you. Now, you must meet my family. This is my daughter Nancy. Say hello to scout master Troupe, dear. The name is Hill, Mr. Lear. Glad to know you, Mr. Hill. And my daughter Christine. Glad to know you, Mr. Lear. Pete, my son and Mr. Newell and this charming, charming gentleman who has so delightfully offered to act as host. Hacket of hit-and-run. Correction, please. The names are Hackett and Chase. I'm hit-it. I mean, I'm run. Oh, what am I saying? Oh, well, what's in a name? A rose by any other... would smell. Now, everybody just relax. Boys, the place is yours. Dally as you will at the Café de Lear. Oh, not bad for a motto. Take over, Nancy, darling. I must away to the kitchen. Oh, but, mother, you can't leave me like this. This is the town. You've got to do something. You fed 3,000 men at Leavenworth. You've only got to feed 50 here at Dally. Only one thing stopping me, ma'am. The grub. All I need's a truck garden and a Texas steer. Wait. Why didn't I think of it before? Mo, listen to me. You will do this. And we'll have all the food we need. Now, listen carefully. Give our thanks to Mr. Chase, too. Well, you got through it all right. Such leadership. For what citizens these boys will grow up to be. Hack it and Chase are proud to be your host. And as for our lovely hostess. Oh, yes. Those papers, Mr. No, forget it. From now on, we're really partners. It's Café de Lear. Any woman who can cook for a whole troop of unexpected guests. Oh, he's nothing. Show them such a good time. Can do anything. The town is yours. Oh, bless. Oh, you know, Mother Darling, I guess I was wrong. Once in a while you do have an idea that works. Well, of course, dear. If I do say it myself, I think your mother is a very clever woman. I want to say this, Mrs. Delear. This has been one of the most pleasantest days in my whole life. Oh, yes, yes. And if this has run you, well, run you into any extra expense. Now, you just charge it to me. Oh, how sweet of you. But don't worry. I have already charged it to you. Wasn't that clever of me? With the fabulous Delear's, our star, Billy Burke, will return for a curtain call after this timely message from Wendell Niles. High school graduates, here's how you can go on with your education while establishing yourself in a worthwhile career. The answer is the U.S. Army. In the Army, you'll learn to master one of many skills or trades. You'll be working with other fellows your own age. You'll receive good pay and you'll have the chance to see some of those foreign countries you've read so much about. And here's where the schooling comes in. You can study courses of your own choosing. It's true just about any course a young man could ask for is available. You take these studies through the Armed Forces Institute and the only cost is a nominal registration fee. Yes, high school graduates, the Army gives you two big opportunities in one offer. Further education and a career with a future. Why don't you talk it over and get the facts for yourself. And I'll once again our star, Billy Burke, and our producer. Ladies and gentlemen, I want you to meet the star of our show, a great actress and artist and a very clever and charming lady, Mrs. Florene Zegfeld, better known as Billy Burke. Thank you. Billy, after 18 happily married years, I don't suppose anyone in the world knew Florene Zegfeld as well as you. And I was just wondering a while ago if you were going to write his biography. Well, you know, Will Rogers, before his untimely death, insisted that the story be written about Florene. And? Yes, I'm going to do it as soon as I return from New York. You know, the Schubert and I are preparing another follies, the new Zegfeld follies. Isn't it wonderful? So many of today's headliners in the entertainment world where Zegfeld discoveries. Yes, indeed. There's Eddie Cantor. Oh yes, you're with him now and Mr. Rogers too. I just have to mention his name again. And then there was Fanny Bryson, Virginia Bruce, Ina Claire, Irene Dunn, Paulette Goddard, Ruby Keeler, Mae Murray, and Billy Burke. Oh, how sweet of you, T.P. T.P. And in addition to the stars he discovered, his production formula still stands as a criterion of show business. What you mean, for example, he's having brought the ballet into musicals, among other things. I know we're both on our favorite topic, Billy, but before I tell you about next week in our Theatre of Stars, I just want to say I'll be looking for your book on Zegfeld and this year's edition of the follies. Oh, thank you. And I'll be dialing your way next week. Who's playing, T.P.? Well, she finally got it right. Next week, Billy, and ladies and gentlemen, Victor Moutour comes our way to star in a bright comedy as a very noisy play from a jail sentence by a lady attorney, who, in turn, gets both herself and Kelly jailed. You'll like the irrepressible Kelly. What does C.P. mean, city police? Well, oh, it's been lovely talking to you, but really, I must hurry along now or I'll be late for Mr. McGregor's curtain call. Goodbye. Goodbye, Kelly. Be sure to join us next week, ladies and gentlemen, when we present Victor Moutour in Honeymoon for Three. Until next week, this is C.P. McGregor saying thanks for listening and cheerio from Hollywood. Billy Burke appears in the courtesy of the Hollywood Coordinating Committee, which arranges for the appearance of all stars on this program. The orchestra is under the direction of Eddie Scravan. This program is rebroadcast to the Armed Forces overseas through the worldwide facilities of the Armed Forces Radio Service. Remember proudly we hail next time presents Victor Moutour. This program was transcribed in Hollywood at this time, Wendell Niles speaking.