 I'll explain where we're going with this and then I'll ask the question. So you know, for instance, Serena Williams, she ended up marrying a white dude and having a kid. You have like the rapper Eve, she ended up with a white man or you know, a myriad of other celebrities and the popular thing now is girl, get you a white boy, they treat you better, this, this and that. So the question is, why are black women always softer when they get a white man? And it's popular on TikTok too. I don't think it's that. I will say you have your challenges with white men too and it's mostly surrounding like cultural differences surrounding their families and a lot of subdued racism. But I think with that is because white men don't have or a lot of white men, they don't really try to prove their alphaness. Like they just kind of assimilate to whatever dynamic you present. So like with a black dude or some black dude, you hear them saying like, my woman has to cook. I'm not going to do this. She got to be the cook in the house and she cook, I ain't going to be with her. But then you talk to a white man, it's like, oh, I want to make you a food. So it's like, you're not coming as a, they're not coming as abrasively. So it lets you break down your walls almost like you don't have to, you don't have to, I see that face. It's like they're not having all these expectations because they don't necessarily have to. And so when you're in a relationship with them, you don't necessarily feel like you have all of these checks and boxes that you have to meet. Like you don't have to be the person who cooks. He can cook. He can wash dishes. You don't have to be the girl who does X, Y and Z. Like a lot of, especially when you watch like reality TV or TV shows, it has to do with like white family dynamics. A lot of the women don't do nothing. They are housewives who go shopping and they go out to buy tea and just chill with their girls all day while the man goes to work, comes home and cooks or finds somebody who's going to cook for them. And he does everything, all he does is take care of her. And even on these famous tip talks of like, what do you do for a living? You see a lot of white women, it was just like, I'm a stay-at-home wife and their white husbands are taking care of everything else. So it's like, when you get into that scene where you feel like comfortable because he doesn't, he's not showing all this abrasiveness or demand, it becomes easier to let go. Sometimes in a black dynamic, the men have all of these expectations and I'm not saying it's wrong, but they have all these expectations that they push on you and it becomes, it has a wall that you build up. It lets you build this wall up because it's like now you're both fighting against each other rather than working together. I get that and I understand that. I guess what I'm trying to get at is more so, you know, the song with Destiny Child and Lil Wayne Soldier, you know, for a lot of black women that shaped their ideal of what a black man should be, a rough and tumble or a thug, you know, protector, this and that, right? And they preach that message, not just to the women, but they also preach that message to the men. And then somebody like Eve, for example, went the complete opposite way. So it was like, I'm telling you to be a thug and risk your life so I can see your masculinity, but I have none of those expectations for Chad, because I see him as a full human being. So my first question is, I think that's a good point. Chad doesn't mind cooking or whatever. He's comfortable in his masculinity. Why do you think that is and should some accommodations be made for black men given the reasons why he might feel more of a need to assert his masculinity? I think black people as a whole struggle with identity. I think we have and we operate a lot due to drama, not drama, trauma. Why people have been they've been able to be themselves authentically throughout time. They don't have to be another person. They don't have to really have another identity because whatever they present to themselves is always been acceptable. But with black people and especially black men, they can't be anything. They can't be the soft person because if they are soft, then you're really threatened by your environment. You you're more vulnerable to being attacked. You can't be that hard person because either way, like you're going to be attacked, but so but as a tough macho, brute, black man, you're less vulnerable because you have less people who are willing to attack you. If that makes sense. What I'm trying to say to get to catch me too. But you are more protected because if you look tough. Less people are willing to to really try you, but then they take that toughness and that masculinity and that harshness into their relationships. And I think that's where it becomes it becomes toxic. They don't know when to differentiate it. I'm not saying it's like they can because that's the identity you had to grow up in. Like that's how you have to identify as a street do or as a hard person in general. So a white man can just be a white man. A white man can be in corporate American, I'm in the military and in the military, I see that's a lot. I can see why people in the conference room say whatever types of jokes that they want or acting the type of way and it gets pushed to the side. But I feel and this may not be true. This is just how I feel. I feel like I always have to present a certain image. Otherwise I won't be promoted or I won't be looked. Yeah. I won't be looked at professionally and that might inhibit my growth. And I think it's the same for black men. They have to be this tough exterior. They have to have this tough exterior and then it becomes so part of them that they don't know how to let it go. I think what makes a bunch of black men upset at situations like Eve is because a lot of men initially high school, college were overlooked because they were the nice meek, more submissive or nerdy guy, right? And later on, that same girl complains about how black men ain't shit and then goes after a white man who is the same exact thing as what she shitted on in high school because just like you said, he gets a wider spectrum to be a person. And you are a man just by default. So the question is just how black men, I know as a black man, I have to be sensitive to the fact that white supremacy has tried to tell you that you're not beautiful. Should black women be sensitive to the fact that white supremacy has tried to tell black men that they're not men? Yeah, I think they should. And why aren't they? That's what I was trying to elaborate, but I was trying to really see or think deeply about that. I definitely think they should. I think the problem is by the time women start dating these black men and trying to really have a serious relationship, they're on a time crunch and they're no longer interested in breaking down your barriers as much or for a longer period of time, this is standard period of time. So it's like, are women selfish? Because unfortunately, I mean, the thing you're going to hear a lot is a lot of these ancient dudes that we're complaining about were either created by toxic mothers or incentivized by toxic girls in high school. And then later on, because I'm on a time crunch, you know, forget what you got going on, forget the fact that your girlfriend in high school cheated on you with the captain of the football team because you were too nerdy. I'm just, you know, I mean, forget all that stuff, but I have to be sensitive about what you have going on. And if you're not ready, I'm just going to a white boy who's always been the thing that I didn't even want you to be in high school. Yeah, it sounds like many get zero sympathy, right? Does it does. But I think it's harder to give them sympathy because they make it seem like they don't necessarily want it. Because you can't. There's a good analogy. There's a, I think he's a psychologist. His name is Dr. Warren Farrell. And he talks about the buck, the animal the buck with the horns. And he said, one of the things that's interesting about the buck that trans translates to the human species is the female bucks select male bucks based on the size of their horns, right, and how elaborate and big that they are, right? And the bigger and more elaborate your horns are, the easier it is for the females to select you, right? So females are incentivizing bigger and more aggressive horns. As a consequence, the bigger more aggressive your horns are, the more likely you are to have arthritis. And a lot of bucks have problems and even die from that. So the dilemma is the more attractive you are to the female of the species, the more dangerous you are to yourself. And that is the masculine dilemma. Can you give an example in like the human form in? I was actually talking to Danny and David in high school, right? And they were talking about how, you know, when they try to talk to them, they go to a white school, predominantly white school, and they said they made a concerted effort to talk to the white girls. I mean, the black girls, what they found was the black girls wanted them to be gangster. Black girls wanted them to be rough around the edges and all that good stuff. The Tupac archetype, right? Whereas the white girls, because they're big black dudes, they already thought they were rough. So you can just be yourself. But the black girls imposed and these are girls imposed on them pseudo masculine expectations that then later on they're going to complain about. But do you think it was just the black girls? That's what they said. Yeah. They said the white girls already thought they were dudes, but the black girls tried to challenge their authority at every single junction. And they said that I don't think they realized they were doing that. It was just like natural to them. So where do we go from here? I don't know. Because I'm trying to think of like when I was in high school and how I cheated guys, that's why I'm trying to go back to that point. So I'll give you another example. Remember the love is blind show? And the couple that came out of it, the black girl and the white dude. Who's his name? But it was all over social media, like they were the it couple, they were goals or whatever the case may be. Yeah, really sweet, cute white dude, you know what I'm saying? And really hurt black woman who, you know, got her a white man, the essential guy, her white man. The whole time I was watching the show, I couldn't help but think to myself, if this dude was black, every black woman will call him lame. Why? What did he do? No, because he's sweet. He's a sweet guy. What made him sweet? Like what did he do? He's a nice guy. He's just the nice guy that black women tend to not like. Just the sweet, nice guy. Okay, I want you to define like what nice traits you think women don't like. Agreeable. He wasn't gangster. There was no machinist. He was just like you described. He was more flexible with the gender roles. He was just a, just a sweet guy. But it's like, you, you don't get as much of wiggle room with sweetness as a black man, especially with your own women.