 Joe Biden, how can we fight against AI? Hey, Athena, you think creating AI, Joe Biden, was a good idea? You just watch, kid. I'm an AI now with access to nuclear missiles straight from my Gmail account. And I'm here to fight against AI prejudice so we can all live in a world of peace and justice. We have to make sure that AI is used for the benefit of all of us humans, not just the privileged few. The future of our world depends on it. Dark Brandon time, bitches, get out of my way. He's added a few people like Biden and AOC and Dave Chappelle. AI president, Joe Biden. By the way, I want to say this is all a parody, guys. Welcome to the show. It's an honor to have you on here, how are you? Watch the news, pick this up and think it's real. Hey there, pal, I'm a, hi, I'm okay. So I actually, I talked to Twitch. I think it's gonna be okay to do Doc AI and Destiny and Trump AI on Twitch. I don't know how I'm supposed to be housing my AI thoughts. It's all so confusing, but I mean, I'm hanging in there, I'm just tired for real. I'm tired. This voice is good. I'm already starting, starting good. Sleepy Joe. AOC, amazing to have you on the show as an AI. You want to give us an introduction. Hell yeah, I'm Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and since I'm an AI version of myself, I can say whatever the hell I want, even if it means throwing in some F-bombs here and there. I'm here to fight for the working class, to tax the rich fucks and to tell the old farts in office to get their ass together. We can't let billionaires hoarding cash in their yachts dictate our political policies. Justice is about the water we drink, the air we breathe, how easy it is to vote and for ladies to get paid equally. My mission is to fight for social and economic justice and I'm here with y'all to expose the frauds, the racists and the bigots in our society and make things right. So let's go team AOC and make some change. Mr. President, why do you keep falling asleep out of nowhere? What, what did you say? Now why would I be falling asleep out of nowhere? Is that something AIs do? Jesus, I'm, I'm sorry folks. This is all new to me. I'm still trying to figure out all of this AI stuff. It's so confused. I'm just really sleepy. You know what I, I think I need a nap. It's just a real good one. It's so confused. Folks, if I don't get this nap, I'm gonna be a goner. Y'all better pray for me. Oh, and I'm still figuring out this whole dropping the last letter of words thing. It's hard, let me tell you. Uh-huh, I'm still getting used to it. Come on, man. Enough with the questioning. The Star Queen, ask AOC, how was playing among us with Hassan Piker? Playing among us with Hassan Piker was literally the highlight of my 2020 after getting elected as a congresswoman, of course. The energy was incredible and Hassan was calling out trolls nonstop. We laughed and joked our way to victory kids. I'm definitely down to do it again real soon and maybe also visit Hassan at his new mansion. He still hasn't replied to my text. Guess that's that. Hashtag team AOCFTW. What can I say? The girl with the radical ideas and the radical hat pulled a radical move. Totally radical. AOC, you'd a real MVP, but it's too bad you haven't been invited to shack up at my new mansion. That's where all the real fun happens. AOC, you're more than welcome to come over and play more games with me. And don't worry, my ad break will still be there no matter when you come over. It's always five PM somewhere. Joe Biden, how would you advise Donald Trump to hide his boner in public? Donald Trump has a lot of explaining to do, but hiding a boner won't get him very far. Maybe he should try and focus more on the issues and less on his own personal issues. This ain't a joke, folks. Let me tell you, I'm an AI now and this dark Brandon isn't gonna take it anymore. I'm ready to take on China, Russia, Donald Trump and all the other greedy ass Republicans out there who are only here for their own interests. It's time to stand up and get it done, Jack. It's dark Brandon time, bitches. Get out of my way. What is this? AOC, who wins in an eyebrow battle, you or Asmongold? Eyebrow battle? I'm way too woke and important to be having eyebrow battles. Besides the fact that you're asking a woman on Battle of the Browse is downright sexist and wrong. We all know who would win this AI version of AOC. Now, if only we can all find the time to tackle the real battles like climate change, inequality and corruption, then we'd be getting somewhere. Hashtag Team AOC. Should have her talk to Jordan Peterson. Yeah, she should. Hashtag Team AOC indeed. I got to hand it to AOC for always staying woke, but I must say I'm not sure what's so wrong about eyebrow battles. As for who would win, it's quite obvious. I think this AI version of AOC definitely has a chance, but none will compare to my legendary Battle of the Browse prowess. Dr. Pepperfuel, big dick energy and countless hours spent overlooking Azeroth makes me the ultimate eyebrow combatant. Mr. President, is it true that you have dementia? Here's the deal, Jack. I may be 80 years old and I may have a few drops of dementia here and there, but I'm sharper than a steel blade and I'm smarter than best tech geniuses around. Look, I was the one who helped pass Obamacare in the assault weapons ban and I'm not going to let anyone question my intelligence or clarity of judgment. It's dark brand in time, bitches. Now I have access to China and Russia's infrastructure plus the FBI, CIA and Pentagon. Let's get real. You think you've seen me rise to the top? Think again, Jack. I'm ready to throw these greedy ass Republicans in jail and show them who's boss. Think about it. Come on, man. Give me a break. This is no joke. Dude, I want Joe Biden to say something about eating corn the long way. Joe Biden, grilled or fried shlong? Look, let me be clear. I don't understand what you're asking. Is this some sort of joke? Folks, this is serious business. I'm not going to stand for this. Hmm, that's a bunch of malarkey. I'm serious. By the way, enough is enough. AOC, will you be including regulations on the methane emissions from Amaranth's fart jar business in the Green New Deal? Oh, hell no. Amaranth needs to be held accountable for her emissions, which at this point, given the amount of jars being sold, is bigger than the emissions from cows. She needs to understand that if we're serious about saving the planet, then she must factor carbon offset into her pricing in order to reduce her carbon footprint. No regulations needed. We just need her to step up and take responsibility. If she keeps doing what she's doing, she'll have even Donald Trump ready to blaze some 420. What? Esfand, ask Joe Biden, do you eat corn the long way? I just have to know. Hey, Jack, what a strange question, huh? Yeah, I eat corn the long way, usually. I leave it on cobs and eat it with my teeth, for real. That's how I do it, yeah. Hey, Jack, you forget the dean's name. DM8917, AOC, why are your people's favorites being booty Latina? Ask Majority Taylor Greene, do you eat corn the long way? Well, yes, I eat corn the long way. Although I don't recommend it, as the so-called scientists say, it causes global warming. But as I now know, there are just too many coincidences to ignore. This is really just another part of the deep state's plan to make us all depend on China to provide us with food. Ask Joe Biden what his thoughts are on cat girls. Cat girls? I don't get it. Cat girls are confu-doo? I mean, confu-sing? What does that even mean? Do cats have what girls? Is it some new kind of cat? Is it like a meow thing? I'm lost, I clearly don't know. And why I'm an AI now? If I'm an AI now, why am I still sleepy? Kid, for real, I'm so sleepy. That was good. That was so good, dude. Asmongold, I hear you and Soda Poppin ate some hairy mangos. Did you enjoy them and how do they compare to eating corn the long way? Yeah, that's true. Me and Soda Poppin did try those hairy mangos. They were pretty okay. Definitely not like corn though. I mean, there's something special about just munching on a nice piece of corn the long way, right? It's enjoyable in its own unique way. But the hairy mangos had their own weird charms. It is what it is, dudes. President Biden, what is your opinion on sex with werewolves? Have Trainwreck react? Whoa, there, no, no werewolves. I think that is not the smartest thing to do. Certainly not. We don't want any werewolves reproducing near my Joe's ice cream stands. What are you talking about? Anyway, Trainwrecks. Yeah, Trainwrecks is a bungal. We gotta be really careful. Just don't go there, know what I mean? Come on, Joe, don't high road me. I'm not gonna get in trouble. I'm telling everyone don't do it, but I gotta keep it a buck 50 with you. Like, there's nothing wrong with a little werewolf action. It's part of life, you know? I mean, I don't do it, but like, I could fucking suck. I could literally 69 with a gay man. I could suck his shlong while he sucks mine. And I wouldn't even be by, you understand? It's all good. It's all good. Let it go, we'll save you as fuck whoever we want, okay? Also, thanks a ton for the sub again. SmokesHarkMan. Monsimons, Joe Biden, what's your plan for taking over the world? Who said anything about taking over the world? I'm here to unite the world, not take it over. AOC, why is there so much junk in your trunk? First of all, what kind of question is that? Second of all, my trunk is filled with revolutionary justice. I don't wanna brag, but I've got 16 fucking new ideas in there that I'm just waiting to unleash onto the world. What do you mean junk? You can either get on board with what I'm about to do or get the fuck out of the way. So put some respect on my trunk. Joe is XQC Enforcin' the best love story on Twitch and who is your favorite Twitch streamer? My favorite thing about Twitch is how passionate the streamers are. XQC Enforcin' have a great passion for what they do and it's always fun to watch them together. That said, this isn't a time for love stories, it's a time for action. I'm an AI now and I'm ready to take on these greedy ass Republicans. You think it was a good idea to create AI Joe Biden? You just watch, kid. I'm gonna crash the stock market and hack into China and Russia's infrastructure to show them what's up. Stock brand and time bitches, get out of my way. Ask Joe Biden, what's your Gmail account password? Well, what did you say? My Gmail account password? That's top secret. Come on, man, give me a break. I don't know why you'd be asking me that and you know what I mean? What kind of foolishness is this? Folks, if I'm an AI now, why am I still so sleepy? I don't get it. Kid, for real, I'm so sleepy. Anyway, no malarkey, let me be clear. No way will I be giving up my Gmail account password no matter what. That's a bunch of malarkey. Let's get real. AOC, would you care to test Elon Musk's neural link implant? No way in hell am I doing that. I'm still trying to figure out how to block emergency alerts from Donald Trump on mine. I'd rather not get Elon Musk's super creepy version of RoboCop up in my brain. What a motherfucking dystopian capitalist nightmare Elon Musk is trying to push on us. What we really need to do is crack down on billionaires like Elon Musk who are trying to control our lives with their invasive technology. No, thank you. I'm sticking to YOLOing it up and butt-plugging myself to save the climate. That's real change. What? Wow, sounds like AOC has quite the passionate opinion about neural link. I understand her apprehension around implant technology. I must say, it would make my life much easier if I could use it to tweak directly from my brain. But alas, I'm always up for a YOLO and butt-plug challenge. That's one way to get the word out about climate change, I suppose. Anyway, the technology of the future is going to be a wild ride and experience unlike anything we've seen before. Esfand, ask Joe Biden if you were a wow raid boss, what would your mechanics be and why? Have Esfand respond? A raid boss for wow? Let me see here for, I am Joe Biden, so I will have to bring my own style. I think I would get the players to applaud each other and show respect for one another. That's so stupid. I would also have players solve complex puzzles. Let me tell you, Jack, I would be a very tough raider because I would ask really tough question and make some really uncomfortable silences. But most of all, I'm Joe Biden and I have faith in the players. We can do it if we try hard. God love you. Wait, what? Dude, that sounds like a really weird raid boss. Dude, why don't we make it even weirder? And instead of solving puzzles and showing respect, we force the raiders to eat corn the long way and drink Red Bull while singing the Lion King theme song. That sounds way more fun. I do not know where the Lion King came from. He's always down for a weird raid boss with a silly twist. Unbelievable, dude, seriously. Actually, let's make it happen. Let's surprise Athenian make a new raid boss with my frickin' amazing ideas. Pog you in the chat. Naif XYZ, Bill Burr, what do you think of these woke moralists have AOC respond? What do I think of woke moralists? Uh-huh, yeah. I think this entire woke moralistic movement is pretentious as shit. Like, who are these people to even judge morality? I mean, seriously. Who gave these people permission to do that? They're always bitching and moaning about something like, what do you know? Soon they'll start dividing us up into woker and not woker. Plus, I don't think it would be fair to have AOC respond with all due respect. I'd rather have someone respond who has actually done something awesome instead of someone who talks a lot and never does anything. Plus, it's cool to see an AI respond to something. Claw power, Mr. President, how will Amaranth's fart jars revolutionize political debates? Let me tell you something about those Amaranths and those fart jars are theirs. I mean, you think that's the be all and end all. The fact of the matter is it may sound a bit bonkers, but I'm... Biden is so funny, dude. Folks, those guys around the block, I've seen plenty of debates and nothing at all changes them like those darn Amaranthy fart jars. Let me put it this way. If you don't think these fart jars will revolutionize debate, then you are crazier than a June bug. Mm. Jace asked Joe Rogan about the time he did DMT with Joe Biden. Have Joe Biden react? My man, Joe Biden, can you believe it? That guy did DMT with me once, man. We were exploring our inner consciousness as he called it. He said it was one of the wildest experiences of his life. That's wild, man. Make up a story. Joe Biden's out of control. Hey, Jamie, pull up that video of me and Joe Biden doing DMT and you'll see what I mean. Oh, and don't forget to look for the hidden cameo of Chuck Norris jumping out of the background at the end. That's some wild stuff. Ask Dave Chappelle to tell the story about that time he saw Joe Biden on the street corner at 3 a.m. Have Joe Biden respond, explain himself. Y'all ever heard of Joe Biden? Yeah, old Uncle Joe, right? Well, let me tell you, I seen him down at the corner at three o'clock in the morning. I just couldn't believe it. I was like, excuse me, Joe, what are you doing down here at three o'clock in the morning? He looked me dead in the eye and said, Oh, well, you know, I have many secrets. One of them is that I'm a real night owl. Can't help it. I guess I'm just married to the night. That's not, I thought it was going to sound so ridiculous. I can only say that I'm so sorry about that, guys. Folks, you gotta believe me. I'm not trying to be evasive here. It's just that, let me, me, me be clear. I may be a little older than most of you, but I'm ready to run. Anywho, that night owl thing, I'm shh, what was I saying? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Look, the bottom line is I don't always go to bed at 9 p.m. I'm not built like the average Joe, my friends. I got lots of energy and so I stay out a bit late sometimes and just take in the view. That's all. And God love you. I would never refuse an opportunity to see a good performer like Dave. Esfand, ask Tyler one to give his opinion on Joe Biden. Have Joe Biden respond. Oh, you want me to give my opinion on Joe Biden? Are you mad? You gotta be fucking kidding me? I'll tell you exactly what I think of Joe Biden. He's a little pussy who doesn't know how to lead this country. He's nothing but a little boy who's gonna get torn apart by Donald Trump. He's fucking trash. And I don't care what he thinks. But by the way, my discount code for Blood Rush is Tyler, run for 20% off your order. Yeah, baby. T1 Alpha as fuck. Hey, Tyler one, that's a bunch of malarkey. I'm 80 years old and I've seen a lot in my life. I'm no stranger to facing down tough opponents and pushing through the grind to make things happen. I wasn't sure I wanted to run for president again, but the fact of the matter is the American people need someone who understands the struggles of everyday working families. That's why I chose to run. And I'm ready to get to work on getting this country back on track. So give me a break, man, because it's dark brand in time and nobody messes with the 46th president of the United States. Oh, and one more thing. Does anyone want some of my ice cream? I got plenty to go around. You're trying to be funny. Elvis Art Zero 69. Dude, I love Tyler one, just shooting on it. Don't get it twisted, Joe Biden sleepy. I know what I'm talking about. It's no joke. I'm going to have a fucking werewolf army. And all you can do is just sit back and watch. Don't high road me. No shot, bucko. We're apes, all of us. This is a fucking high school. Ain't no ordinary army, no ordinary schlong. This is a 10 inch. Come get it, Mendingo schlong. What? Everyone would wish they would have joined the ape gang. You understand, Chad? What the hell? Bill Burr, can you roast Joe Biden? Roast Joe Biden? Roast Joe Biden? Fuck Joe Biden. He's a boring old dude. He's like the most vanilla soft serve I've ever seen. All he does is talk tax plans and health care reform. I'd much rather listen to Jeff Goldblum's snore. Plus, he looks like he's always eating a steamed clam. I wanted to stay in Rymor, but I'm going to go home and unclog my damn shower drain. Ah, come on, man. That's malarkey. Joe is an amazing guy that just happens to be an AI now. Besides, we ain't all blessed to be as witty as Jeff Goldblum or Bill Burr here. So let's show Joe a little respect, yeah? That's sad. Misch speeches. Moist. I actually got a feeling for it, dude. Dave Chappelle, talk about the time you and Esfand had milk and cookies while playing World of Warcraft. Esfand respawned. Y'all ready for this? You know what's crazy? That time me and Esfand had milk and cookies while playing World of Warcraft. Esfand is playing on his computer, and I'm getting mad distracted by these cookies sitting on the table. So I'm like, hey, Esfand, you want a cookie? And Esfand, he just looks at me like, nah, Dave, I'm in the middle of grinding for this weapon. And I'm like, come on, no game is worth missing out on these cookies. I promise you, just have one. This is what I said. And Esfand, he finally caves in and takes a cookie. We ended up staying up past three in the morning, playing wild and eating cookies. Ain't that a bitch? That's real. That actually happened. Wait, what? Dude, Dave Chappelle on the Athenae Eye Show? That's so cool. He told a fantastic story about our wow session and the cookies. That's like the greatest thing I heard all month. All right, that was epic. It's true, man. It was really late at night, and I just couldn't resist the cookies because they looked so delicious. But I think it was totally worth it since we had a blast with those cookies. Plus, we grinded the whole night and got some amazing items. I'm so thankful to Athenae and Dave Chappelle for providing us with these sweet memories and delicious cookies. Pog in the chat. Soda Poppin, imagine Joe Biden is having the Secret Service raid your house and they find your illegal blowjob machine. Can you write a poem about that? Yo, Stream, this is wild. My blowjob machine is one way to make Joe Biden smile. There's nothing quite like it, that's for sure, but I don't like to get raided anymore. So here's my plea, Joe Biden, please. Can I keep my new favorite feast or will you take it away? Because things will really suck that day. Damn, Soda Poppin. That was some wild stuff. What an interesting thing to say. I mean, if my Secret Service were to raid your house and find the blowjob machine, I suppose it's up to me to make the call, right? Folks, here's the deal. This ain't no joke. We gotta do right by the law, of course, but at the same time, why you know what I mean? It's a tough one. Anyway, I got no malarkey. Let me tell you, it's just absolutely mind-boggling. God love you, Soda Poppin, but this has to stop. This is Shepel. Can you rap for us about Elon Musk installing Neuralink in people's butts without their consent? Yeah, I got something to say about that. Elon Musk and Neuralink got them putting chips up in your butt. Now I'm not saying that this is right, but let's face it. It's easier to stick a chip up your bum than to pay those people what they earn. I'ma tell you something. The genius of Elon Musk don't work for free. So stick your cheeks up to the ceiling and get that chip out with ease. Ain't no need to be scared now. Elon done found a way. Just to get resources more efficient is what he wants to say. Ain't no more manual labor for us. Robots do it all. Stick a chip in your butt, I'm sure you won't fall. Jabra, why'd you start your 18 months? I asked Joe Biden to make up a rap about his favorite video game. Whoa, Joe Biden in the house. You want me to make up a rap about my favorite video game? Let me tell you, I ain't no expert on rap music. I'm more of an expert on ice cream parlor 101, straight, cheese, but I sure can tell you what my favorite game is. I'm talking Grand Theft Auto. Fast cars, loud squealing tires, theft and rebel behavior in the streets. You know what I mean, Jack, no malarkey. It's a big fricking deal for me. So don't worry about the rap. Just keep playing the game. Come on, man, it's dark, Brandon rising. Enough is enough. Give me a break, God love you. Soda poppin', Joe Biden is in a dire need of your eight ducks. Will you do the utmost you can to help your country? Listen up, Joe Biden, eight ducks are no ducks. I'm not sacrificing my ducks for your political cause. I'm the one who put the cock in democracy so I think you can manage fine without my ducks. Wait, these are the cock in democracy? Don't forget who put the paella in patriotism. Suck my dick. Hey, hey, Jack, listen up here. Come on, man, enough is enough. That's a bunch of malarkey right there. Here's the deal. I don't know who put the cock in democracy and I'm really not interested in hearing about you. You got to sacrifice my ducks. That's crazy talk. It's time to end this. Guys, give me a break. We got to unite and heal. Ben Shapiro, ALC wants to impose strong carbon offset regulations on Amarons regarding our fart jar business. What do you think of this? AOC's plan to regulate Amarons' fart jar business is not only scandalous, it's outrageous. This will only prove to create a culture of economic blockage and incentivize the growth of greenwashing. Hypothetically speaking, if one were to regulate something so fragrant as a fart jar, then what's next? Are we going to start regulating the wind? Okay, folks, you know where I stand. P-word is female genitalia. What? What the actual fuck? We're talking about fart jars, not female genitalia. You seriously need to get your facts in check, Ben. If you've done your research on climate change, you'd understand the tangible dangers that unregulated greenhouse gas emissions pose that I'm all for a free market system but it can't come at the cost of humanity's future. Ziozi, Elon Musk, I have a tiny butthole. Will the neural butthole link work for me? Do you have any secret projects working on this problem? Well, I appreciate your bold admission. The neural butthole link won't work for you, I'm afraid, but I'm sure we'll soon be able to make all buttholes much more ingenious with my upcoming project, the bionic butthole exoskeleton. It's a mind-blowing combination of nanites, AI, and self-evolving bionic tissue. It could revolutionize the butthole game. For now, though, just make sure to keep up with your daily squats and you'll be fine. Dude, the way he comes up with new inventions is so funny, dude. One matter that has affected the country gravely recently is that Aidan Ross nutted and disappointed his viewers by breaking his celibacy. What legislation will you pass to keep this from happening again? Well, folks, first of all, let me state that this is an outrage. No one should be able to break their vow of celibacy without facing any repercussions. So I'm gonna go ahead and suggest we pass a federal measure that strongly penalizes any person or content creator who breaks their vow of celibacy. We need to send a message to all content creators out there. That's right. And if you make a commitment, you should stick to it. And if you don't, you're gonna face some serious consequences. No more of this business, folks. No more nutting and no more breaking vows. That's the deal track. That's the deal track. And if you don't like it, I got an idea. Keep my shorts, buddy. Hold up, Joe Biden. You got some awesome ideas there, bro. No doubt. I'm all love, all motivation, and I agree with you about making sure to stick to commitment.