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Published on Oct 26, 2017
Nagging is one of the most understandable but counterproductive patterns of behaviour – that kicks in when we have failed to teach someone what we want and are feeling tired and bruised emotionally. But if we really want others to change, there is no alternative but to gather our strengths and try to convey information in a way that can be understood by someone else. For gifts and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://goo.gl/qWNkKc Join our mailing list: http://bit.ly/2e0TQNJ Or visit us in person at our London HQ: https://goo.gl/onz5ug
“Nagging is the dispiriting, unpleasant, counter-productive but wholly understandable and poignant version of a hugely noble ambition: the desire to change other people. There is so much we might fairly want to change about them. We’re an entirely imperfect lot. And so we want them to be more self-aware, punctual, generous, reliable, introspective, resilient, communicative, profound… At home, we want them to focus more on the sink, the children, the bins, the money and the need to put the phone down and look up. At a macro dimension, we want them to think more about the suffering of encaged animals, the destruction of our habitat and the iniquities of capitalism. We are, most of us, very far from our ideal selves – and at the level of the species, come close to an evolutionary error. The desire to change people is no pathology; it’s a clear-sighted recognition of human wickedness…”