 Dr. Sumerian could feel the pulse of a methodical beat just underneath him. It was the kind of beat that, in his experience, generally signaled the end of the world, and when he finally opened his eyes, he was faced down on a carpet in a dimly-lit room, broken and empty bottles covered the floor in front of him. He felt warm, at least, and he reached up to scratch his chin and found it covered in thick hair, which was weird because he didn't remember having a beard. But before he had time to consider that, his head exploded in pain as the first rays of sunlight shined into his eyes from the nearby window. He rolled over to face the other direction, and found himself face-to-face with a woman in most of an elf costume. She, mercifully, was still asleep. Now he recognized what was happening. This was consequences. Yes. He could hear a radio in the next room, the source of the pulsing beat. He rolled himself over onto his stomach and then raised himself up off the ground. He finally looked at his own arms for a moment and realized he was wearing a Santa Claus suit minus his pants. His underwear were, at least, thankfully clean. He reached up and scratched his chin again, running his hand through the fake beard. His first course of action was clear. He needed to find his pants and turn off that damned radio. He surveyed the room, but he saw nothing but more men and women sleeping on the floor in elf costumes and bottles and a few other pieces of sundry paraphernalia he didn't want to think about. He stumbled out into the open kitchen trying to find the source of the music. As he came into the kitchen, two things became a stark reality. One, the radio on the counter was playing California Girls by Katy Perry and, even with a pounding headache, he was going to let that keep playing. Two, another Santa Claus was making himself a sandwich next to the sink and that Santa Claus was wearing a pair of pants that were a deeper red than the rest of the man's costume and were one or two sizes too big. That son of a bitch was wearing his pants. Hey, Dr. Sumerian whispered, trying to avoid the worsening headache he was experiencing. Give me back my pants. Dr. Clef turned around holding a peanut butter sandwich and answered with a mouthful. Bullshit, harders keepers. Dr. Sumerian, still quite drunk and not thinking things through, walked over to Clef and tried to pull at the man's waistband. The two got into sort of a slap fight over it until Clef managed to disengage and back away. Hey, watch it. Fucking handsy. Shut the fuck up and give me my pants, Clef. No, go away. Sumerian jumped forward and threw a punch to Clef's abdomen. Clef tensed at the last moment to take the blow. He then countered with a wild haymaker that connected with Sumerian's left upper arm. Sumerian prepared to launch himself again as a gunshot cracked in both man's ears. They winced, grabbed at their heads and realized that they were feeling it more than they could hear it. Their headaches were much worse now. Bright stood just inside a screen door that neither of them had noticed until just now. He had a pair of pants slung over his shoulders and began waving his pistol at the ceiling. Fucking fuck, Bright said, from behind dark sunken and bloodshot eyes. Just put his pants on. Bright threw the pants down between them. They were a different shade of red, but also discolored in several places. Sumerian cocked an eyebrow. Clef, why are your pants covered in blood? I don't want to talk about it. Well, I'm not going to wear bloodstained pants, you fucking psycho. Clef let out a sigh. Fine, you fucking picky bitch. I mean, it's mostly my blood anyway. Bright raised his hand. Mostly? Clef shook his head while removing his pants. I don't want to talk about it. Clef and Sumerian exchanged pants. Bright leaned onto the garbage can and vomited for a solid 20 seconds while the two of them got dressed. Bright turned away from the garbage can for a few moments. Also, we have to go. I'm pretty sure I just shot a guy. And then he went back in to the garbage can for round two. Clef and Sumerian looked at the hole in the ceiling and saw a trickle of blood begin to drip. They also heard a male voice groaning. Sumerian sobered up as best as he could. Phones and guns. They searched their persons and produced just one phone, but all three guns. Clef nodded. Hey, better than last time. Sumerian Chica said, shut the fuck up. Saw a landline in the living room. Clef, call 911. I'll go out and steal a car. Bright. Figure out why that donkey is here. All three of them looked up to see a brown gray donkey wandering into the kitchen. Bright nodded. Got it. They split up and got to work. Sumerian ran outside. There was one car on the mostly abandoned street. He checked the door, unlocked, got inside and started messing with the wires underneath. Clef and Bright came out the house's front door. They looked at the car, at each other, and then at the car again. Sim, that's a two-seater and there's three of us. Bright can ride in the trunk. He doesn't need a seat belt. Bright grimaced. Then he grabbed his necklace and nodded begrudgingly. As they got closer to the car, Sumerian popped the trunk for Bright. Then he got back to work underneath the dash. Bright walked around to the back of the vehicle and stopped. Uh, there's a guy in an elf costume in here. Sumerian stopped and looked at Clef and Clef shook his head. What? I said I don't want to talk about it. Sumerian shook his head and looked back at Bright. Look, just wake him up and throw him in the yard. Bright clicked his tongue. Yeah, I don't think this guy's waking up. Sumerian managed to get the car started. Then got out to help figure out how to handle the situation. All available officers. We have a 1071 shot fired in Lillian Oaks. Suspects are seen swinging the scene in a blue smart car. Please be advised that all three suspects are wearing Santa Clause costumes. At least one is strapped to the top of the vehicle. They are to be considered armed and extremely dangerous. Thank you for watching. If you enjoyed the video, please hit the subscribe button and then hit the notification bell after that so you're notified when I upload new videos. This is a tale that I haven't posted to the wiki yet. I just wrote it this morning for the video that we're doing right now. Uh, I'm kind of getting back into the hang of verses series stuff. Even if this doesn't seem like much of a versus, I wanted to do Sumerian versus Clav over a pair of Santa Clause trousers and that's what we're doing. And if you liked it, you know, you know what to do. And if you really want to support this kind of content, head on over to patreon.com forward slash D Sumerian and pledge it any level like everybody here on the screen already has. It's nice to know that I'm not alone out here and I'll see you all again on Tuesday.