 Why narcissists abuse you? Why they repeatedly treat you with cruelty or violence? Why they intentionally try to cause physical or mental harm to you? Whether the narcissist abuses you physically, mentally, emotionally, sexually or financially, it is often difficult to understand why they would do it. But there are reasons why narcissists abuse you. There is something motivating them. There is something fueling them to act in this way towards you. Some narcissists may abuse you because they were once abused. It's something that they have learned in their childhood. They abuse you in a subconscious effort to resolve their own abuse. Studies show that about one third of people who are abused in childhood will become abusers themselves. Narcissists can be defensive. They may feel as though they are backed into a corner. Where they are then having to defend or protect themselves, this is where they will then retaliate and try to abuse you. Because they believe that you have done something to them. Narcissists are very sensitive and they take everything personally. So even though you may believe that you haven't done anything wrong, if you have spent enough time around a narcissist, they could probably write a long list of things you did that they didn't approve of. The narcissist may have been exposed to something at a young age that glorifies abuse. It could have been a movie, song or TV show. Something that minimized abuse or made fun of it. Narcissists are easily influenced and they will mimic anything if they believe that it will give them the upper hand. So if they saw something like this in their childhood, it is likely that they will repeat it. Narcissists tend to have anger issues. They have difficulty controlling their rage which then results in abusive behavior. The source of that anger is usually from an unresolved traumatic event. They have an obsessive need for control. They need to have the power to influence and direct people's behavior and the cause of events. They need to bully and intimidate people because they're very insecure. They are uncertain and anxious about themselves which then results in an overly controlling nature. Narcissists don't understand boundaries. They don't understand where they end and you begin. They can't see that you are separate from them. They see you as an extension of themselves. So then you're not allowed to have any boundaries. They feel entitled to do whatever they want to you. They feel entitled to make decisions for you because in their minds, you are a part of them. Narcissists are very afraid. They will often abuse you out of fear. They will use their emotions to justify where they did what they did or why you should do what they want. Their fear is an important aspect of why they do what they do. Their fear has so much power over them what all they can think about is how to bring it under control. Which will usually be by trying to control you. People who are abusive will have a mental disorder. They are likely to be narcissists, sociopaths or psychopaths. They are self-absorbed and lack empathy. They are sadistic. They derive pleasure from inflicting pain, suffering and humiliation on other people. Especially when they are the ones who are causing it. They abuse you for their own personal pleasure. It makes them feel better about themselves. Which suggests that these types of personalities don't feel good about themselves. And that's what is fueling their behaviour. A person who feels good about themselves is not going to have any motivation to abuse anyone. One of the main reasons why a person would abuse someone else is because they have low self-worth and low self-esteem. It's difficult to imagine someone who likes themselves trying to harm someone else. Good feelings don't tend to lead to bad behaviour. But when people are down, it triggers feelings of anger. When people are having a bad day, or their lives aren't going the way that they want them to. It's so much easier for them to lash out at you. Thank you for watching. I hope this video has it with you. Please like, comment, share and subscribe. Click the bell icon to receive notifications for my future videos. Check out the new Narc Survival website at www.narcsurviver.co.uk Where you can read my blog posts, book coaching sessions and join our support forum. If you are like it tonight, my PayPal link is in the video description. Coaching inquiries, you can email me at coachingatnarcsurviver.co.uk Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon.