 Ac oeddwn i'r ffordd, mae'r ffordd fydd yr ardydd yn bwysig yn i'r bobl yn ymgyrch o'r carthwyll. Rwy'n wedi'n dechrau i'r gymryd, a mae'r cymdeithas yn cael ei fod yn eich sefydlu, ac mae'r ffordd ei wneud o'r barh. Rydyn ni'n gofio i'r ffordd fy ffordd, ac rydyn ni'n gwisio i'r ffordd. I never got it, and the only way I can describe the inner madness was watching the actor that played one of the innocents that were convicted of the pub bombings, the bombing of sex. Wrapping tape on his head and mumbling and all that. I could relate to that. I never had any tape to wrap around my head. I just remember the mumble jumble stuff. And it got to such a stage where it reduced my body temperature. I had to take my pajamas off and lie on the cold floor just to cool down. And I asked my faith that I believed in that I used to go to Philomena's and if there was a God, what the fuck's all this happened for? Maybe no swarm during this occasion. But I asked for something and I never got it and I pushed it away. So people used to ask me what is your religion. I was agnostic after that. I became agnostic after that. Some people say well you shouldn't have bought nothing and that's what happens to you and fair enough that's what it's all about. But what a dad learned is don't ask for yourself. Ask for other people and hope to the thought that they're asking for you. Because they're re-engaged with religion back in Balinac. I was reading books and different things like that. When you got you're not guilty, was there a time when did you know you were going to get away with it? Just on the day when they get read out? I was reading books while I was on my mind in Balinac. One of the books was called The Holy Blood and the Holy Grail. And it was today a big, big question for people who are brought up in Catholicism to be a Catholic. To ask a specific question. But a big question and I'm not here to dismiss any religion. So there were a thesis on the basis that did somebody sacrifice themselves to let the main guy go and to ask a Catholic who is that on your cross. It's a big question. This is an academic thesis and the reason why I got to know about it was because they wouldn't allow us to go to chapel at that stage. The priest, how the priest came in was, I'm reading The Holy Blood and the Holy Grail book. In part it comes into John chapter whatever. If you're familiar with the Bible then you can carry on reading. This book was intervening so many times. Matthew this, John this, Luke this and I thought. I pressed the buzzer and screwed him up. How can I help you Paul? And I looked him right now and I know what he's thinking. I said I'd like to get access to a Bible please. Okay. It's the first time my door was ever shut quietly. Because they thought obviously I've flipped. I've gone. No only did they bring the Bible, they brought a priest with the Bible to say, I don't know alright. And again laughing, I shouldn't be laughing. People who know about the situation is, when that priest saw that book, The Holy Blood and the Holy Grail, it was like something of the exorcist. We were reading that sort of thing. So it was an academic study so anywhere they went away. And I thought fuck it's a priest coming in to see me. So that's what it was. So then I was able to go back to the book and go and get the Bible. So that's what John's saying about that. That's what Matthew's saying about that. So I can educate myself more on where it's coming from. The strange thing with the Bible, I'm sure it was a Gideon's Bible. But there's an almanac in the back that's perpetual. So January the first will be going read this page. January the second will read this page. The whole wide area is, if you're reading something every day on that calendar, you've read the Bible that year. To a look at astrology, a look at a wide variety of things, a look at elements in which I've had to sit and listen to somebody's realm on their two kids' dead ashes that what they were saying was true. And I couldn't even look at the jury because they don't know the kids are alive and well. I don't even know the kids are alive and well. And I used to think, matter of fact when back that night, James, the first thing I'd done was open the Bible to see what it was that day. And whatever day it is not corresponding, I've no time to look at it. It's a special moment in this one. Because on that back, it was the day we proverbs. And it was something the day we don't feel the serpent with the fork telling it, Bear's false witness against you. And I'd wrote the fucking book. I got a tingling feeling right through me. Couldn't believe it. But one thing I did say to myself was, I'm going to mention that one day. And I'll mention it on the page. No, it wasn't a some divine intervention. It was something that helped guide me through a process. When I had done that, it was like another voice saying to me, you better come back. Words to that effect. I don't remember it all. But we don't want 99% faith. You've either got all the faith or you've got none. What have you got to lose? And I've done it to lose. So I put my faith back in it again. That's where I got my strength.