 So I'm here today with my glorious, glorious beard to talk about Goosebumps once again. And I know it's not something I've talked about a lot, but it's a huge part of much of our childhoods. And I just... I realized something terrifying about a Goosebumps story called an old story not long ago. Now, if you don't remember this one, I don't blame you, it's not one of the more popular stories. It was originally in More Tales To Give You Goosebumps, which was a collection of short stories, and then they later made it into an episode of the TV show so some of you are probably familiar with it and the TV show follows the story pretty closely so if you've seen one, you know the other pretty well and you understand what I'm talking about. To put it in brief, this story is about these two brothers who are being taken care of by their great aunt Gladys while their parents are away. And their aunt Gladys is a very, very old woman but she seems nice enough and they're all just having fun with it. You know, it's a pretty standard setup as far as Goosebumps stories go. I'm so happy your mom and dad called me. We're going to have a wonderful time. Do you like to play cards? And then she starts feeding them these prunes and at first they're thinking, oh gross, prunes I don't want those but she eventually coaxes them into trying it and they try them and they're like, oh these are pretty good, you know what, I like these. So then they're just going about their days normally and then both the boys start getting older. Like their hair starts falling out, they start losing their eyesight and their hearing, they start stooping over, like they're turning into old men basically. Good morning, John. How are you? Pardon? How are you feeling? Flowers on the ceiling? And at first they are freaking out about this as you would expect them to do. And this is where the horror part of the story begins. It's kids' horror but it's body horror and that is scary for people of all ages. But anyways, it starts getting worse and their aunt Gladys is telling them hey no, you're fine, it's fine and then their hair is falling out and she tries to tell them oh don't worry, it's cute and they're and they're pushing back against this but they really don't have anything to do because you know they're just kids, this is an adult in power over them, their parents are gone, there's not much they can do. I'll give them each a hug for you and we'll spend a quiet afternoon indoors. So then some of their aunt's very old lady friends come over and they start being like way too friendly with the boys. Like they're being handsy and just being, telling them how they're cute, just being way, way too friendly and it makes the boys uncomfortable. And in the book this is where they actually start offering money for the boys and then they freak out and leave. In the show this was handled a little bit better because one of them hides in their aunt's closet and then he overhears a conversation between the two of them and basically this is when we find out that their aunt has been using magical prunes on them to make them turn old and then she's going to sell them as husbands to some other old ladies. And Lillian wants to marry Tom. We've got it all worked out. We're going to move to Miami and live next door to one another. The boys will never have to be apart. Upon learning this the boys obviously freak out a little bit. So this is when the boys discover some wrinkle cream and they put it on and it makes them young again and they realize, oh okay it's magic. And in the TV episode it was baby food that they ate but not really an important distinction. Like they become young again. And they try confronting her and their aunt chases them around the house for a bit and then they splash her with prune juice and because she's already old and so much prune juice gets on her she just crumbles away into dust and dies. In the short story this is also where we learned that apparently she's not actually their aunt. Like she just kind of came into their life and then both of their parents assumed that she was related to the other one. So you know just a little bit of absurdity to end the story off with. The TV episode ends a little bit differently. One of the boys apparently continued eating the baby food until he turned into an actual infant and then it ends with his brother trying to get him to eat some prunes again so he'll turn back to normal and it just ends on a cliffhanger like so many Goosebumps stories do about whether or not he'll turn back. And I guess if he's a baby that would suck but like he'll probably grow up eventually. You know like if anything that just prolongs his life a bit like if you turn into an old man then you only have a couple years left and that sucks because most of your youth has been stolen but if you turn into a baby just don't grow back into your normal self eventually. Here you go Johnny. A prune cookie. Come on. Prune cookie. So for a couple of reasons this is kind of dumb. It's a children's Goosebumps story so I'm not going to be too harsh on it but you know there are a couple of things that stand out to me as an adult like for one did their Aunt Gladys really think that they would just go along like they just say oh okay we're magically old now and married to these old sex offenders I guess we'll just go along with that like did you think their parents would go along with it like oh okay our kids are old goodbye Tom see you later or did she think that she would just be able to spirit them off without a trace and their parents wouldn't investigate that like it's kind of weird but even stranger to me is why is their Aunt Gladys doing this scheme at all like obviously she wants to make money but why would she like take young boys make them into old gentlemen and then sell them to old women who presumably have some money to throw around like she has magical de-aging wrinkle cream why doesn't she just sell that to them you know like think about it if you were a very old woman with a lot of money you were coming up on retirement or excuse me you already retired and everything be married to an old man who has the mind of a child or would you rather be 20 years old again and then go to the club and get railed by some Chad who also has the mind of a child but is much better looking I don't know maybe that's just me but it seems like an odd thing to them it seems like this would be a better business venture and it would also get Gladys in less trouble because there would be no victims but as strange as all of that is it's not what I'm here to talk about I just needed to set all of that up so I could get to this main point I recently thought about this and I was like wait no that can't be what I'm thinking so I watched the TV episode and I read the short story and I realized this is just a metaphor for child grooming like think about it that is what this whole story is about now that term has been thrown around a lot lately because like the far right really wants to turn it into just gay people existing is instantly pedophilia but the real definition of grooming is when an adult meets someone while they're a minor sometimes a young child, sometimes an older teenager doesn't really matter, they're underage and they're just really nice to them and get them to like them and then once they're of age, of legal age or whatever then they can start a sexual relationship with them and it's obviously gross it is like one step above just raping them when they're children but it's all too common in our society unfortunately it is typically the domain of police officers youth pastors, French film directors and Onision so you know child rumors are in really good company but like think about it though that's what this episode is a metaphor for like there's the obvious body horror aspect of like oh okay you're growing old at a very accelerated rate and your body is decaying that's no fun but then there's the whole aspect of these adults that are in a position of power over them are waiting until they're older maybe not mentally older because again it's accelerated magically where the metaphor part comes in and then they can start having sex with them and start a relationship with them and then it will I guess somehow be okay like you know because if they really just wanted to be pedophiles I guess they could just have sex with them now but they don't want to they want to maintain an air of propriety I suppose I cannot be the only one thinking this right I'm Lillian oh you're so sweet and you're graying up nicely I'm me and I have a very nice retirement fund enough for two like I'm not losing my mind this is a real thing right like that's what this episode is about like Aunt Gladys is whoring them out to older people who are kind of sort of waiting until they're over 18 before they can start having sex with them like that's what makes this episode so horrifying I've never remembered it for years and years and years like better than a lot of other Goosebumps stories but it never really struck me as to why until now there's a Goosebumps story where the villains are pedophiles and I guess that's the scariest monster of all so I don't have a whole lot else to go into here like I'm not going to make this super deep or anything but just yeah we all have to know that this is a thing now if you disagree if you think I'm overthinking this let me know maybe I am just going crazy but I don't think I am anyways that's all if there are any other Goosebumps episodes that are secretly more horrifying as an adult than as a child let me know down below I'll see you later goodbye thank you for giving Patreon money if you want name on list or other Patreon benefit consider if you want to share like video comment subscribe thank goodbye nini grab the baby food