 Hi, it's Bridget. Welcome to Sunday Morning Coffee with Bridget. Today's topic is radio silence. You like the dramatic pause there? Did you like that? Mm-hmm. We're gonna talk about stillness and quiet and how much we actually need this. And as we're having this conversation I want to fully acknowledge in transparency that I am with you. I am so with you on the side of screaming, but I'm busy. I have things to do. I have people to take care of. I have a job. I have a life. I am filled with action-oriented constant motion. I feel you. I literally hate the idea of stillness. The concept of ultimate quietude for more than maybe 30 minutes or an hour can become extremely unsettling to me. Now I am an empath, much like you. An empath is someone who senses and feelings a lot, feels others emotions, feels your own emotions, feels the environmental emotions, feels global emotions, feels a lot. And this concept of stillness or quiet can be very threatening to us because then, then we actually might have to feel our own feelings as the dominant. We might have to be forced with sitting with ourself, your true self, your true feelings, your true thoughts, your true emotions, and that perhaps could be scarier than anybody else's emotions or the anticipation of some crisis being handed to you at work or a call from the kids that they forgot something that they needed, etc. The fact is truly when you are in a place where it's just you and you, you got to be real. Like you can't run from yourself. You can't hide your true feelings. And I think I really think that we are at our depth so afraid to feel ourselves because we don't know. We don't know what we're going to say to ourselves. We don't know what we're going to discover about ourselves. What if our true self, what if my true self is really a total jerk? What if my true self is really the epitome of selfishness, of greed, of disrespect, of all these things that I hate about others in the world and the expression that people, their behaviors and such, what if I at my core am really that? What if I'm that? And in the moments of stillness and quiet, I believe that we are afraid of stillness and quiet because we are afraid of ourselves. I mean, can you be honest with me for a second? Like put your coffee down and just be honest with me here. It's okay to say, it's okay to be aware right now, right here right now of the fact that you might be afraid or to admit that you are afraid to really know yourself, to be with yourself, just you, you and you. So you as the person, so like me as Bridget as my person and my human expression, and to me, Bridget as spirit, the spirit essence my higher self. Can you sit here with me for a moment and just contemplate that? Let yourself just be in realization of the fact that you might be scared to learn about yourself, things that you think are not good. Do you really think, do you really believe that the part of you that is God like that is light that is pure source that is prime energy that is embodied of love that incarnates into a body a speck of light to your spirit would really spend time with you one on one privately and stillness and tell you bad things or reflect to you negative that is an even possible your soul your spirit only reflects back to you what you are which is light which is that love. The distance that you feel from who you are here now expressing in your human form the distance that you feel from your human form expression and your soul is what you're afraid of acknowledging how you are different in your spirit than you are in human life now be be with me on this okay be here just listen to this for a second that's normal seriously everybody else next to you on the subway in line at Starbucks at the school meeting everyone else same thing everyone has some level of concern because we feel the separation of how different we are in our human expression than our pure spirit light energy is everyone feels that disconnect everyone feels concern over that but we would the way that we process that concern of the disconnection is very different some people numb it with numbing behavior some people redirect that energy to something else like a project or a side hustle some people pour it into relationships some people pour it into health and exercise some people pour it into creative endeavors it doesn't matter what the thing is that you're pouring it into the truth is you're not processing we're not really understanding how deeply afraid we are that we're going to get to the end of our life and we are going to be at that moment when we're leaving our body and we get to really be in a fullest awareness of our spirit at that moment fullest awareness of how amazing the spirit is and then feel for a second while we're still connected to the human body and the human experience how sad we are that we did not acknowledge how great we are as a spirit living in a body how great you are now you think on your deathbed that you look back over your life and you regret the chances you didn't take and the relationships and not saying I love you and not going to the soccer games or whatever writing your novel whatever it is you regret the things you didn't do what about the relationship that you had all along that you ignored that you did not tend to and that is your spirit the spirit is not another to do it's a part of who you are the spirit your soul your intuition isn't something you do it is something you are you just are that and the spirit will not judge you your higher self won't look at you and say well I told you you should have spent more time with me and stillness you should have listened to my guidance you're not going to have that conversation at the point of release from the body but you will know I promise you you will know and recognize how much you ignored the beautiful light gift you've had and the love you had within you all along that you get to feel only when you have those private moments for yourself in stillness and quiet and it's hard it's hard to make time for those things that's why you can do that in small micro ways micro steps like meditation 20 minutes in the morning like journaling for 15 minutes set your timer and just write do Julia Cameron's morning pages it's old school but it works morning pages Julia Cameron look at our people she wrote the artists way we are all artists that's what the soul is that's what the spirit is it's a creative expression you are making art that's what energy into life is that's what intuition is that's what psychic connection is that's what spirit is art the mind doesn't understand art because it's not it's pretty ambiguous pretty fluid it has trouble kind of understanding the creative thing it's kind of a secondary thing to the mind even though the mind does access and harness imagination the thoughts that you will have initially when you create some time for yourself will be thoughts of guilt I should be spending this time doing something else because you will have to prioritize yourself and have to say no to some things you don't always have to be the one to drop your kid off at school someone else can do that there's other options for the kid they can get picked up they can carpool there there's other things you can schedule you can make arrangements for so you don't have to feel guilt but you will feel guilt but it's a thought guilt is like this thought it's a way that the mind tries to step in and use the energy of your empathic senses to help you to stay in line remember the mind is about survival you've heard that you know you've taken basic psychology classes or you've listened to some personal development classes certainly enough to know that the mind is about survival that reptilian brain the go-to is oh my god I'm gonna die all the time therefore stay in line stay in line structure no don't get out of your comfort zone and what is art what is ambiguity what is fluidity that's art that's not contained it's flow the mind doesn't get flow it doesn't understand it it does bar barrages of thoughts to try to get a specific outcome or response from you and it works so let the mind do its thing while you are in stillness while you have time the good thing here is that the mind does understand time so if you schedule something time for stillness time for quiet connection within yourself it doesn't have to be three days of vacation or three days at an Airbnb however I highly recommend two nights at a hotel by yourself with your journal your spiritual card decks and the podcast that you can't listen to usually although I would suggest you just spend time writing and sleeping and taking baths and taking walks and just nurturing yourself being with yourself and refilling and refueling if you can doesn't have to be that but the mind does understand a container of time so use it use that scheduling piece to your advantage there are ways you can access this so it's not as threatening like oh my god you're so selfish you're such a bad person you did not take your child to school on that Wednesday oh my goodness they're gonna be scarred for life they are never gonna make anything of themselves are gonna have horrible relationships because you abandoned them that one day you chose yourself oh yeah dramatic yeah but that's exactly what your mind does it says things like well are you're not a good parent well aren't you just a good parent don't you remember that one time your mom left you on the sidewalk and forgot about you and it was raining and you didn't have a ride home and don't you remember that one time so your brain will use the scare tactics and techniques to keep you safe and safety is what your comfort zone and I can promise you stillness and quiet is not comfortable even if you can relax and give yourself this kind of permission to take a break and just chill for an hour or what have you time itself tends to run out like it it flies by or it leaks away and all the sudden you're like oh my gosh what happened I don't I don't have enough I don't have enough time which is energy of lack which creates this connection to your mind that then says we'll see it's never gonna be enough so don't even try it's never gonna be enough time for yourself so don't even try because then you're just gonna feel bad see look you spent all this time an hour with yourself and now you still feel bad or you feel worse because now you've thought about more things that make you unhappy so if you just stay busy the unhappiness won't catch up to you hmm did that sting a little for anybody listening I can say this because I I've lived this if I just stay busy the unhappiness will not catch up to me the sadness the inner longing the deep feeling of what am I missing will not catch up to me if I can outrun it if I can trick it and manipulate the energy of my own personal feeling of non fulfillment then I can keep existing as is I can stay within my comfort zones housed in my life of gratitude for the simple things which is being in service to everyone else's expectations and needs whether it be the fulfillment of your parents wishes for you that you're still living when you're 35 or that missed opportunity of that one relationship that you had but you chose the other person kind of a scenario the what ifs I mean that can bury you in heartache and those are things your mind will use because it's experience it's an it's it's information that is very persuasive when you spend time in stillness or in quiet with the intention of letting yourself be with yourself you are going to discover these things you won't be able to hide the dreams and desires the things that you want they will be revealed to you maybe not in your first date with yourself but in the building of the relationship of trust within yourself you will start to realize some things and you will realize how there are parts of your life that are out of alignment that are not you're not living your expression you're clearly not and we know this right now you don't have to spend time in quiet to know that but it's a choice for you to make is the pain of not knowing worse than knowing I mean what really like what is the risk that you have you're already feeling the pain that's the thing see that's the thing you are feeling the pain of the disconnection between you and yourself and you and all of the information about your dreams your desires your wants like how you want to express in life how things you want to experience in your lifetime that you've just kind of put by the wayside or settled into a life that's comfortable or contented and which isn't bad this is not bad at all or wrong or judgmental at all you've done fine for yourself haven't you I mean look at you you're okay you know your people are decent right like your kids your significant others your job all this stuff I mean things are okay right but you are still feeling because your higher self your intuition knows that you're just basically ignoring these these underlying feelings and these underlying feelings come out in in resentment toward somebody else in non gratitude being angry about your job or a lack of a promotion because you never did finish your college degree and you wish you did and you never did and so really if you would have tapped into that if you could tap into that want or desire to have that college education experience you would have taken those classes are continued toward that or given yourself the opportunity to start that now it's never too late to start that stuff start it now so that you're not redirecting and projecting into your job how awful it is when really it's pretty damn great relatively you know considering right it's pretty good okay you really have it pretty good but you're really ticked off and unsettled and and because you have an unmet need and desire because you never finished your degree and you just want that and then you would get a promotion or you could go someplace else or you could have more choices and you know it so instead of addressing through some quiet time with yourself there's some stillness with yourself there's some journaling meditation and things like that the fact that you have this unmet need or desire instead I mean the feelings of not of having it are still affecting you you're still crabby at work or not happy at work or on you know you're just not you just don't feel like you're a good match for your job or whatever that's because of this other stuff not because of the job itself let's be clear same with relationships same with relationships so there is a lot that is impacted by not being connected in times of stillness or quiet with yourself this is valuable time this is valuable time it's important for you to have time just to be with yourself and it's not just to get information it's just to be just to chill hang out feel the energy of not other people stuff but just you maybe you sit go for a walk in nature but don't do it while you're also processing trying to make a decision about your relationship or trying to make a decision about a job offer trying to make a decision about a new house purchase or a move or a rental property whatever it is don't multitask be present with nature and yourself your physical body your heart you're just flowing open energetically intuition all of that not the extra stuff don't do it with an outcome in mind that's a brain thing not a spiritual thing ambiguity fluidity connection relationship let it be art in this time of stillness or quiet so I termed to this radio silence this topic because it can feel very frustrating when you are trying to do the things you are trying to show up you are trying to be everything to all the people that matter to you in all the ways that you want to show up in the world and be in service etc and sometimes the response you get back from the world is nothing and the question then is am I doing all these things just to get responses from other people who am I doing all the things for where is my heart where is my soul that should be where we resourcing our energy from not from the need to be responded to by others appreciated by others look at how great I am I think I'll take on five more commitments because why because I really need more validation about what a good person I am let's be honest you have validation you are a good person your spirit would tell you over and over and over and over again if you would just listen can you take a moment of stillness can you take some time in quiet can you actually pay attention to your relationship that is the most important and that's the one within yourself and if you can do that you will feel better and be happier and you will not need 50 other extra commitments and priorities to feel value you will just know it because you will lose it because it is part of who you are naturally if you can just connect and you can only connect during times of stillness and quiet with your source with you with your higher self with your spirit and then you can express in every commitment that you make and everything that you do whether it be exercising or going to the family picnic or showing up at work or volunteering at your kids school however it is whatever it looks like for you you do it from a place of pure just pure intention to be present and you are showing up with the light you're not showing up doing something expecting something back that you're never going to get other people do not know your value you know your value you stand in the confidence of the energy of your light when you can be in the silence that's when you can affirm it that's when you can build it up that's when you can know so that when you do all of the other things and you show up in your expression you're showing up from the expression of the pure truth of who you are which is this resourced valuable energy that just expresses into the world in that way and that is light and that is what love is that so other people's reactions or responses to you really does have nothing to do with you it's all about them which means your actions don't really have a lot to do with other people now do they they have a lot to do with you and what you need and what you want which you already have inside of you within the relationship with you and your spirit that's a coffee cup full probably a couple cups of coffee for this Sunday morning coffee with Bridget I hope I've got you to really think about stuff in a different way this concept of stillness or silence which I know I know it's a tough one I know I feel it too believe me I really do feel it for sure yes thank you for being here thank you for hanging in with Sunday morning coffee with Bridget I appreciate you I hope I've inspired your spirit today they'll do us some hope it's your life this is your life so live it just live it