 Hi, welcome to Think Tech. We are raising public awareness about technology, energy, diversity, and globalism. This show is center stage. I am your host, Donna Blanchard, proud managing director of Kumakuhua Theater. And we are coming to you live from Pioneer Plaza in the heart of downtown Honolulu, very near Kumakuhua Theater. I generally open my show by jumping right into an introduction of my guest. I'm very excited to get to her. I'm going to start slightly differently because of a lot of attention drawn to a post that I made on Facebook last night. Let me tell you about it. If you'd like to see it, it's public. You can go there. It's Donna Dot Blanchard. I posted a picture of the actress Meg Ryan, who I have always loved. Meg has had some plastic surgery done and she doesn't look like herself anymore. So I posted, I don't remember my exact words, you can read them, that we need to stop accepting plastic surgery that is bad as the norm. I don't want it to become the norm. And I did say right off in that post that I'm sorry to use Megan as an example, but I had just recently seen her on television and I couldn't help it. So first of all, I want to say, now there's been, I was called a cyber bully on my own page by someone I don't even know. I had a lot of friends stick up for me and I felt like they got what I was saying a little more. However, I do recognize that my initial comment may have looked a little harsh. So I'm going to take just a moment to clarify that. I want to say that first of all, it is an actor's job to move their face. I recognize that we live in a world where so many people are getting plastic surgery now and so many people are getting bad surgery that we are getting accustomed to that frozen deer in the headlights duck lips look. Let's not get accustomed to that, please. It is not acceptable. And a lot of people commented on my page that it's tough for an actor. It's tough for someone in Hollywood to get work. Once you start to age, and here's, I got two ideas about that. One is if I wanted to play Annie in the musical Annie, I can't. I'm too old to do it. I have to play Miss Hannigan. It's a good role. Don't bunk playing Miss Hannigan. You've got to play within your age range. And I understand that I've always wanted to play Christine in Phantom of the Opera. I'm too old and I don't have the, I'm too alto. Okay, so there's that. You've got to age into the roles that you can play. Freezing your face shouldn't make that easier to do. And if you feel like there aren't enough good roles for older actors, actresses in particular, then take that money you want to spend on plastic surgery and use it to produce a film of your own. Come on, Meg, you have enough experience. I think you already have directed some. Produce a movie of your own, a film of your own, and put your, your compatriots in it. Other women who are over the age of 40. I'm not sure how old you are. But it doesn't, the world doesn't have to be the way that it is. We can always look for ways to change it. I thought I had a second point there, but I think I just, I just meshed my two points together. And this very nicely, well, so please forgive me, Meg, if you're watching. Hey girl, hey. I did not mean to offend you at all. I do love you. I really want to see you do some great work. You were looking really high and tight in that photo. Maybe just got out of recovery and things have gotten a little more slack. Oh, and I do, there is one more point that I want to make. I don't have a problem with plastic surgery at all. And as soon as this all starts to go, I'm probably going to be looking into a little injectables over here. But I'm going to make sure that I, yeah, go to a really good doctor. And I don't want to, I cannot freeze my face. It is my business to have a face that moves. And Meg, we didn't just love you because you were young. We loved you because of who you were. And that came out in your facial expression. And it cannot come out if you're frozen. Okay. Now, that is a very nice segue into a guest I just happened to already have scheduled today. Her name is Crystal Kwok. She has, she is a host here on Think Tech. She has a show of her own, Kwok Talk. And she has a really wonderful background as an artist and someone who is very outspoken about female issues and the all of the issues that we should be well aware of and educated of as women that too often we just glide over and keep going status quo particularly those of you who are born in the 60s and 70s like me. So without further ado, I'd like to introduce you to Crystal Kwok. Donna, I don't know what you're talking about. Get the eyes wide open. Let's do this the whole time and see if we can understand each other. Right. Part of what is it 95% of communication is not words. It's the tone of voice and the expression and everything else that goes along with it. I saw that interview. Was it with Jimmy Fallon? It was that interview. Right? She's so skinny. I think the weight issue is worse than the classic surgery or maybe they go hand in hand. Well, and that's another issue. You can never be too slim or too rich. You can. I don't know about being too rich, but you can. I think so. You can. Yeah. What is it? J.K. Rowling just is the only billionaire to leave the billionaire list because she just gave out a whole bunch of money. Well good for her. She said I don't need it. Other people need it. Anyway, I need it. I wish she would have sent some of it over to me in my theater. But yeah, you can definitely be too thin. And particularly after you do get to a certain age, a lot of people compliment me on aging well. It's fat, man. See, that's the thing. Meryl Streep said that. She says you're gonna have to either sacrifice the collagen or the boobs. One thing gives when age comes. Right. And I didn't have to have it taken out of my own butt and put it in my cheeks. I just naturally said it. Good luck. Well, thank you. Yeah, have you ever made a comment on Facebook that got really misconstrued or not on Facebook, but on my show, my previous talk shows, I've always said things because I'm also very straightforward. And a lot of times people see that as being over critical, or that you should take on a more, you know, neutral position. But where's the fun in that? Why do that? That's just talking heads, confirming each other's beliefs. We don't need that. We're not trying to slap criticism on something. It's just a comment. And it's an opinion. And it's a point of view. Yeah. And we all have a right to it. And I will add, I did not delete the comments from the woman I don't even know who called me a cyber bully. I believe it's your new title now. Cyber bully Donna. Such a bad ass. Actually, I was there's a bumper on the car behind me. I mean, in front of me yesterday and stuck in traffic. And it was, it was saying everything to me. It says girls who behave never make history. Right? Right? Unless you get out there and have something to say or do something like make a if you don't like what's going on in the film industry, make a film. There hasn't been a female, a film director nominated for an Academy Award and something like six years. Yeah, right. Because they're just not making as many films. And that's not I refuse to believe that's because they cannot get the the costs. No, it's a double standard. It's funny. I used to think when I was in Asia for over 25 years that it was just a, you know, an Asian thing, like a male chauvinistic thing that because of culturally we grow up accepting that patriarchal society. But I think it's worldwide. Right? Yeah, apparently. Yeah. Let's talk about your films. Okay, because you have produced a film. Yes, I wrote and directed a film. Going back to the women's issue is because I couldn't bear I was fascinated about this world of the mistress because growing up in the States, you're, you know, you're brought up to be independent. Everything's equal. You have an opinion, you can share, express it. Your position is not less than because you're a woman in terms of anything until you get to the real world, right? At least, right? And having met some mistresses in my lifetime in Hong Kong, it really struck me that there are positions that women accept for themselves for better or for worse. Yeah, yeah. So you made a film about one and I have to admit I a friend recently approached me with a business conundrum because he had a client who had propositioned one of his employees. Okay. While she was technically there under the auspices of the business. Right. And wanted her to be his mistress. This is here in the States? Here? Last week. Oh. And I said, well, how much was he offering? Yeah, what are you getting at? Right. I just wanted to know. And he handled this, my friend handled the situation really well. Yeah. Hopefully it won't happen again. But there is a certain, you know, big question mark, I think that a lot of us have about that. And I think there's a there's an attraction to for these women to be wooed by this offer because there's, you know, the other woman gets treated better. They don't have any baggage. They always have that special, you know, priority because they're not the ongoing thing you always take for granted things around you. It's that special one that you only see once a week you're going to do put more effort into. So, you know, you they get a lot out of it. And women some women are smart and some women hate to think that. And so, you know, a lot of pro feminist movement people will say, you know, that's disgusting. They're just abusing the whole, you know, it's just they're two white two sides of the coin. There's so many layers. There's so many layers to it. It's more of a baklava. There's a lot of layers in why someone would do it and and what it does to them and the people around them when they when they do that. Yeah. So when you decided to make that film, you you wrote it first, you wrote it just started with a roommate who is tutoring this girl who was a mistress and she came back from time to time telling me about this mistress. She was from China and she was like a more like a village girl. She was more rough around the edges. But her boyfriend would be bringing out the cash and giving it to her to pay for their weekly English lessons and gave her extra money to say, just go ahead and buy her this and do this, all this stuff for her. And it was really interesting because my friend was this educated British born Chinese girl and that girl was a Chinese girl from the mainland who didn't speak any English, but who's hungry to see the world and to to grasp anything that she never had. And so it was a story of kind of like her obsession with that world and switching places ultimately in the end, her becoming, you know, into that world and stepping into it. Now you had, you already had, let's say this, you were born in the United States and then moved to Hong Kong when I was three. Hong Kong. Oh, OK, very young. But then I came back when I was like 10 and then I finished till university and then I went back and then I moved there and I stayed there for the last 25 years. Oh, OK. Yeah. And you got into, how is it that you got into theater there? I studied theater at UCLA. It was just something, well, I guess it goes back to high school. I was, I got a small part in the mid-summer night stream at the American Conservatory Theater in San Francisco, opened up my world of theater and I just, it just moved me in a way that I knew I needed to do something in this industry. And so I took that degree and I loved it and I actually theater is my stronger base than film in terms of studying. And I did use that in Hong Kong on smaller stages. You were, so you worked as an actor in Hong Kong and were able to, you had a talk show there, you had your own personal voice as well. Yes. Somehow, pretty quickly. Yeah, because they tried to mold me and I couldn't fit them mold and so I guess I leaked out some kind of a thing where they just said, OK, this is working, we'll keep it going. Awesome. And they, you're talking about a society that is male, very patriarchal. Yes. Not patriarchally dominated. I know, it sounds so intellectually kind of boring, right? Yeah. But so here you are, you've got an opinion and you're going to say what you believe and you have a talk show, did you have any trouble with, don't say that because of our sponsors, anything like that? I'm sure. I've had so many times where they try to make me careful, even just in terms of style because the last few times I had a radio show on the public radio in Hong Kong of all things and when they trained me to have my own hosting show, they said, you know, you've got to listen to the person and you've asked the question and you pause and you let them answer. Don't interject and prepare your questions and I don't see you having your questions, you know, it's just free flow and most people are not accustomed or they don't want that uncertainty, right? Right. Most people want that box. They want the boundaries so they know where they stand but I don't work like that and so I guess I found my own voice and I found projects where I could keep my voice going. So my little theater plays I wrote and directed in Hong Kong were, when a time I couldn't take all the time to create another film because that's just, you know, overwhelming time consuming and my kids were little so I would write while, let's say they were napping, let's say my first kiddie was, every time he's napping I'd write a scene and I would try to find ways to put it into my life while things were changing for me as a woman. Awesome. We're gonna go to the first break real quick. We're gonna pick up right there, I swear. Thank you for sticking with us after my little story, we're not going to call it a rant about Facebook. We're gonna take a short break, we'll be right back. Hi, I'm Steven Philip Katz. I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist here in Hawaii and I'm the host of Shrink Rap Hawaii which is on Tuesdays at 3 o'clock. Have a great summer, take care of your mental health. Aloha everyone, I hope you've been watching Think The Kawaii but I'm here to invite you to watch me on Viva Hawaii every Monday at 3 p.m. I'm waiting for you. Mahalo. Hi, I'm Chris Leetham with The Economy In You and I'd like to invite you each week to come watch my show each Wednesday at 3 p.m. Aloha, my name is Danelia, D-A-N-E-L-I-A and I'm the other half of the duo, John Newman. We are the co-host of Keys to Success which is live on Think Tech live streaming network series weekly on Thursdays at 11 a.m. Aloha. Aloha. Hi, welcome back to Center Stage. I want to let you know that if you would like to join in our conversation, you may do so via Twitter. We are at Think Tech H-I. We have a screen right here, we'll see your tweets on. If you'd like to join in the conversation or make any comments about my rant, go ahead and call me a cyberbully, I'm used to it. I'm happy to be talking with Crystal Kwok. Timing is perfect here to have you on the show. So I beg your pardon for interrupting you. But you were talking about the large umbrella of the conversation was making sure that you're getting your voice out there in a region that was maybe not accustomed to hearing your own voice. And even in your time of life, I think, don't you think when you're in a different phase you have different thoughts and different values and different focuses. So when I had young children, my focus was on my body changing, my perception of relationships, and many things. And so when I had a chance to do theater, when I was writing my little plays, I would put those in and I wrote a black comedy on fertility issues. And it was really interesting because you get feedback after the show because theater is so immediate, right? And they come back and they say things like, wow, that really hit a chord. Or, oh my god, I've always had these issues and I didn't know where to. You know, so it's really nice to be able to have those platforms to share something that so many people actually relate to. Yeah, and to do it in a black comedy. I love it that you did that. Oh gosh. I love a reverence. It was so fun. Nothing makes a point, like a reverence. I had a penis monologue because we didn't know how to put out the the male perspective. So we did a little spoof. So one of the characters, this girlfriend of mine, she came out as a penis. Oh, an actual penis. An actual penis. Literal. Well, it was just a macho guy, you know, very simple guy, right? Yeah. Penis. And it was co-written by one of the male actors in my team. And he wrote what he thought a dude, you know, a macho, macho guy would say about the perspective on fertility. So it was really interesting. Some things came out when we worked together in the creative world of theater. Oh, very cool. Yeah, it was fun. Well, and so you were getting your voice out. I mean you could have written a black comedy about, you know, childhood or cyberbullying. Yeah, not necessarily a female issue. Right, right. And I think it's good to challenge and subvert ideas and find a different perspective on it. Because, you know, everything's told and retold. How many love stories there are and how many dramas. But what's your take on it? It just makes it all more interesting, right? Yeah. Yeah. And those things that you can have great conversations about, if there's dissension, that's what's interesting. Conflict. Yes. Yes. Handled well. Yes. Of course. Black comedy is a good way to handle it. It's hard. It's hard to write comedy. Yeah. Yeah. It's harder than drama. Yes, it is. So you, when did you, what was it that made you decide to write initially, though? In general. Because well, when I went to Hong Kong, I felt like I was so over-opinionated that people, some people appreciated it, some people didn't. And then when I had the talk show, it kind of threw things out like, oh, she's the one who has a lot to say. And, and then there is this newspaper that published, I had like little articles that came out weekly on issues that I observed about, you know, women's sexuality relationships. And it just kind of grew. It just kind of snowballed. And I always had something to say about certain issues, and it just became my work. Yeah. Did you have, I, I admire the fact that at fairly young age, you were already thinking about these issues in terms of the difference, the inequity. I didn't. I don't think I really started thinking about that until probably my 40s when I realized, hey, that's not fair. Right. That's not okay with me. A lot of things that I had always accepted. Now I grew up, I was born in the 60s, and I grew up in a fundamentalist Christian family in the Midwest. So there's hours of therapy, months of it right there. But did you have, was your mom outspoken? No. Where did this come from? Opposite, if anything, I came from a very typical Chinese family, where nobody spoke much during the dinner table. And, you know, you're not allowed to express too much. And God forbid you, you know, disrespect your parents by back talking, which I did constantly. My mom called me a flip-flip when I was like four. You know, I don't know why. I guess it was just, I was... You just had it in you from the beginning. And my sisters are not like that. So I can't say it's a parenting issue. But I do think that sometimes when you suppress something too much, things can come out, right? Depending on the situation. They got to come out. Where are you in the birth order? Just out of curiosity. I was the black sheep, total black sheep. My mom would blame me for things I didn't do, even if I weren't in the room. It's pathetic. Your name just came out. Yeah, always me. Yeah. Oh, okay. The problem. All right. Well, good for you. I'm glad. Right. Bad girls make history. That's right. Sitting around and being good didn't get anybody. No. Okay. So you were, you had a talk show. You were working in theater. You were writing plays. And then what, how did you make that leap into film? What made you say, I want to take on this gigantic, expensive project? Well, everything kind of went coincided because the film making process, it took me, like I said, five years to prepare to the point where I could actually make the film. Because I've had these stories and thoughts in my head. And during the time I had the talk show, I was also taking a master's in Hong Kong University about comparative literature. Maybe that's what sparked it. So you know, you're being challenged. You're learning different philosophies of life and you're trying to question things. And I think that all puts it out on the table. And again, it all just puts some piles more and more, the layers, the baklava you're talking about. And then you want to take that and do something with it. And then you try your best, you push you, you know, put your foot in the door where you can. And you get support from that and slowly, hopefully, it all comes together. Yeah, took a long time. I find that where where my focus naturally goes, if I just pursue those questions that I have or someone like our mutual friend, Jeanette Damingo, wonderful woman says come to lunch. I want to introduce you to these people. And you find that things just kind of fall in place. Somebody is proactive with that, right? Somebody's doing it. Yeah. And I learned because I remember distinctly when I was at UCLA, I was actually a dance major. I wasn't even theater. No, I was a theater major by that point. And I wanted to take film classes because I wanted to I decided I wanted to do film production. They wouldn't let me enroll because I wasn't a film major. I was a theater. Oh, and so I sat through some theater class film classes and and wouldn't leave. The teacher says, Well, you can't enroll unless you know, somebody leaves. And so I just sat there for two weeks straight. Now couldn't participate. I just sit there. But at the end, he finally let me in. And it just made me think, you know, if you really want something badly enough, you don't get up. How awesome that you learned that lesson so young and yet you had the clips, but sit there. I guess so. Hey, you were still learning, but you know not doing sitting in an acting class, you're still absorbed and you would get this because you're a theater person. I would watch theater all the time in Hong Kong, the big arts festival. They would bring brilliant international productions. And some were sold out. I'd get there late and let me shoot. You know, I really wanted to see this and I wanted to go in and I'd stay there and I'd stay there and I find a way. And so when they start, come on, there's got to be a seat left. And so finally just like, you know, come on, let me in and find my way to sit in because you can't you can't take no for an answer if you want something badly enough. That's right. Now, it may not may not work with Hamilton. However, people get a thousand bucks. People get we are current show is totally sold out at Kumakuhu Theater and people come in and they wait and wait and then you almost always can squeeze people in. Someone doesn't make it for whatever reason. So before we run too late on time here, tell us about what you are doing now here. You're back in Hawaii. What brought you here? Well, we we've always want my my I have a family of surfers and they we've been coming here to surf. Well, not me. And my husband luckily found a job here. So we like first flight out. We just said we're meant to be here. And your three kids are their surfers also yet to my two boys are surfers and my daughters are dancers. So we're all very happy enjoying everything here. And you have your show here on think tech. What else do you do? I'm writing my next screenplay actually. And again, another pretty hefty woman's issue because my grandmother who grew up in the south in pre civil rights, Georgia, deep south in a they had a grocery store in a the black neighborhood. And I find it very fascinating where the Chinese sat between the white and black drink segregated south. So I'm writing that. And that's going to be my huge next hopefully film project. Oh, awesome. I'm so excited about that. Are you present? And I never think about that. I've spent a lot of time in the south and even as a child, my family would travel down there. And that's a community I didn't really think about. Nobody thinks about it. It's really interesting. I'm so glad you're writing about it. That's what art is supposed to be. Oh, it's a big one, though. So we'll see slowly, slowly. Okay, good. And what else? What else are you working on? Are you involved in theater here? Or do you love to? No, I would love to. I'm not. I'm, you know, girl. Okay. Cyber bully or not. I'm going to plug with you. Yeah, sometimes you want a cyber bully on your side, though, don't you? I'm going to get a bad rap. I would like be so lucky to ever have a bad rap. Look at me. Okay, so yes, we do need to get you involved in theater here. Do you feel like you other than the film that you're doing? I imagine a lot of you is going into raising your kids. Yes. But you know what? I hate to sound like a spoiled tie, tie, tie, tie means a wife in Asia, because that's what they all are. And we used to have helpers who had to cook and clean for us. We didn't have to do anything. That's why I could pursue my career there. But here I've got to raise, okay, I've got to leave this second after we're done because I've got to pick up my kids and then I've got to cook dinner and pick them surfing and dance class. So, you know, I'm like any ordinary busy mom here. And you got to juggle and you got to know your priorities, being family first, and then work with what you have in terms of time and get those creative juices plugged into all the little holes there are. Gotcha. Gotcha. Yeah. And when do you find time to write? Are the kids still napping? Is that when you're going to do any worse things than that? But yeah, I try to find time. Yeah. Good. I hope you continue to do it. I will. Thank you. We just have a couple of minutes left. And I want to say that I had a guest last week who's from Singapore, also involved in the arts. And she had recently traveled to Bhutan and I went there for my 40th birthday. It's amazing. Oh my God, it's beautiful. Yeah. In both of those regions though, women are women have a place that is a few steps behind men and I have a very hard time reconciling the idea of being happy and satisfied. The happiest place of mirror. Yeah. And while recognizing that I'm not allowed to walk next to, you know, my husband or my business partner there. So I hope that I'm sure that this is coming out in your writing. I hope you become one of those film producers who uses women who are age and graceful. Oh, I can't wait. Are you kidding? Although you can't make fun of me when I do eventually get my injectables. It depends. Let's talk like this now. My injectables. Donna, next time we talk, we're going to have to be more elegant. And I'm going to, yeah, well, and God, the, the thinness scares me. That's seriously, yeah. It's getting, it's getting pretty ridiculous. I used to have, I didn't have digits. This is, this is funny. We've only got a minute left. So I'm going to tell this little story. I used to have a cable, but it wasn't digital and it wasn't compatible with my TV. So I had to, you know, you can stretch the picture to fit. And it made everyone a little more plump. And, and I, you know, I got used to that. Everybody looked healthy to me. Then when I switched to digital and they were their active, their actual size, I'm like, Oh my gosh, that's not healthy. You know, they always say TV gained 10 pounds. It's just not because of the lighting. And then real, real life is like, Oh, wow. Yeah. Yeah. We have to judge people on screen though, you know, it's just part of what it is. It's what it is. I hope that we as women can always support each other. And when you hear someone say something marvelous and smart, make sure that you repeat it and give credit to the person. Absolutely. OK, so that wraps it up for this week. Thank you so very much to Crystal for being here. I really appreciate it. Thank you for being here. There's a few people in the studio I would like to thank our floor manager, Rich Prepis, who's right over there. Thank you, Rich. We're glad to have you back. Zuri Bender, our studio overlord, who is in my ear. Thank you, as always, Zuri and Jay Fidel, who somehow manages to put all of this together. Thank you for being here. Keep commenting on my Facebook page. I really do enjoy the conversation and we'll see you next week. Bye.