 Okay folks, so since it is the 300th episode of the Humanist Report podcast and I didn't really do anything for like the main show because there was just so much to talk about I Decided to do the celebration on Twitch So what we're gonna be doing is cringing together. I'm going to watch the first episode of the Humanist Report podcast Not all of it because it's pretty long I got the idea from Kyle because Kyle reacted to his first video I know that Hunter Avalon oftentimes will react to his older content So I thought it would be fun to kind of like just blatantly copy what they're doing and react to my old content as well Because what else do you do to celebrate like 300 episodes other than watch old stuff? now I haven't been Here for a very long time like this part of my catalog So this is like the first video that I ever uploaded five things you need to know about Jeb Bush and for some reason it has like 2.6k views which is a lot But I think that what happened is like over time if channels kind of like grow Then people will go back to the first video and they'll watch it just out of curiosity Like that's kind of what happened with Kyle like for whatever reason hers his first video was like Getting recommended to a lot of people that got recommended to me as well so You know, maybe that's what it is. But the rest of them they did okay You know Some of these are pretty low like 266 views But I mean not bad for the first week right like 900 views 600 views Not too bad. So Yeah, I don't know if we should just watch like the full episode or the Jeb Bush video I think it'll probably be early in the episode, but this is episode number one I'm gonna apologize in advance. The audio quality is Horrible and it'll be so this is gonna be uncomfortable for me to watch because like seeing myself Is awkward, but I'll just shut up and watch Welcome to the humanist report. I'm Mike Figueroa. Oh my god This is gonna be awful. Oh my god Now just a little bit of background So right to the side over here across from me We had a giant bearded dragon cage And I forgot to take the extra cage with crickets out of the room So you can hear them chirping the entire time and on top of that this microphone that I'm speaking into here Um, even though it was connected to my laptop It was recording my laptop audio because I didn't select my microphone when I was recording to audacity so This episode like It's it's bad when it comes to the audio, but nonetheless, um, I'll I'll shut up and let myself talk This is our very first episode and I cannot tell you how excited I am to be here I want to thank any of you that's watching all two of you But hopefully we'll build up our viewer base over the next couple of months Um, this is going to be a little okay. I'm noticing something a little bit strange I'm like my eyebrows are twitching a lot Now it is true that I have Tourette syndrome, but I don't have like An eyebrow twitch or anything like that. I think it was just nerves. I was super super nervous right here Um, and by the way, this is my gaming PC. This was a pre-build now It's like a full like I took all the parts out or I should say my husband took all the parts out and built a proper PC But um, I just like had the dual screen bought this with my uh blockbuster money And yeah, I thought it looked like a kind of a cool set Uh, I you know, I made do with what I had which was not a lot of the time local podcast where I discuss weekly news stories namely ones in political nature But I'm also going to cover scientific topics as well as other types of current events that Are pretty important to american news. So I'm going to go ahead and just jump Boy sounds like a young teenager as well. Yeah Yeah, I think that the the difference in the microphones It really it does make you sound almost different like depending on the gain of the microphone It almost changes like the pitch even um And also I think I was like super nervous here, too Why do you look so happy, uh those days? Yeah, that's a good question It's because This was before my soul was corrupted Right, this was before my brain started melting out of my ears from covering politics Every single day for six years. You can't see it now Because I have these headphones on these comically large bright green headphones But now my soul has been corrupted And um, yeah That's why I had that little glimmer of hope in my eyes I was still technically a libtard here, right a libtard cuck. I was a sock damn I was just like a progressive democrat. Um, I wasn't necessarily like team blue no matter who but like I Was um, I was different back then I feel like I've definitely shifted to the left over the years But I was more of like a live back then Right in because uh, I'm really excited here. So we're going to get to the first story We've got a bunch of great stories for you. We're going to discuss Hurley Clinton and her opinion on the tpp We're going to discuss uh, Donald trump as well as jeb bush's presidential campaigns It's going to be really really interesting. So I advise you to stick around If you like political dynasties, I've got great news for you. Take a look Okay, so this is the jeb one very much You know, I always feel welcome at miami dade college This was like the start of 2016 when we all had to take jeb bush seriously I I thought it was going to be like jeb bush Against hillary clinton This was uh, I believe the week or the week after donald trump announced his presidency And I Did not think he had a chance at all. I know I look so young without the beard Um, I look super young without the beard. I think I I probably aged like in my face as well If I really compare contrast, I mean you guys can it's kind of hard for me to see like my my upper screen here But yeah for him the equal protection clause of the 14th amendment wholeheartedly disagrees with him now Wait, what am I talking about? That's interesting is that about jeb bush first and foremost He's pro-discrimination now. I love this effect. Oh, you can't see it I got it. I got to go back so you can see it again. It's like beautiful little like, um default text Discrimination now look at that He says that the constitution grants no right to same-sex marriage and he's in favor of quote traditional marriage Unfortunately for him the equal protection clause of the 14th amendment wholeheartedly disagrees with him now One thing that's interesting is that this also means that he's against his own marriage because if you're for traditional marriage Well, if we're looking at it from a biblical perspective, then that means that interracial marriages are also probably against the bible Jeb bush is okay. I can't with the fucking crickets My my talking and manualisms is so different. I'm sorry. I need to talk into the microphone I talked so different Part of it is I was like incredibly nervous as well Very nervous. I had no public speaking experience This this is weird like this is causing me to almost like disassociate. This is so strange to watch In an interracial marriage It wasn't until 1968 the supreme court said in loving v virginium that couples of different races could marry Jeb bush's wife is mexican So it's really interesting that he's taking this stance of traditional marriage. It's very hypocritical I think and he needs to acknowledge the fact that his marriage is not necessarily seen as traditional It's still why I feel like I talk so do I I don't need like I feel like the way that I've that I speak now is like entirely different than this The the fucking crickets are driving me nuts. Like it's almost unbearable listening to it. I'm not gonna lie Um, it's it's insufferable. It's like torturous listen to it's fucking driving me nuts I'm trying to like listen to what I'm saying and critique myself But the crickets in the background is like making me want to fucking jump off a cliff in roblox, of course But it's just oh god damn Contrary in certain parts of the country. This is very cringe Going further when it comes to the issue of whether or not businesses should be able to discriminate against gay people He says that they should if it's based off of religious belief sound like a liberal academic I agree dangerous slippery slope see conservatives always talk about the slippery slope with marriage equality However, this is a real slippery slope If I say that it's my religious belief to discriminate against african america So I think for the most part like the arguments that I'm making are okay pretty standard against like evangelicals Which were at the time the dominant strain in the republican party. Um, you know, I think that this this still all holds up It's very Listening to me speak like watching this is making me like want to jump out of my own skin It's it's even watching like something today is a little bit difficult for me But watching myself like five years ago. I don't know what it is It's making me so uncomfortable and the crickets on top of it I can't like the fucking crickets. Holy shit The fact that like I didn't recognize that I didn't take them out and didn't hear them shows you how like Desensitized I was to the sound of it because we had our bearded dragon for a while Um Uh, fuck that's hard to listen to let me let me skip ahead. I want to go to Okay, I want to see what I said about donald trump because that's actually relevant. He became president So, yeah, this is me showcasing his first announcement when he called mexicans rapists I'm curious as to what I said and how much I downplayed donald trump Donald trump. So first and foremost, he says quote. I'm really rich Is this a qualification? I mean does this make you A good leader just because you have money If so, then I don't know how please explain Um, another thing that he says is that he's not going to be taking money from big donors. So what's great is okay I notice a little bit like skipping ahead Even just a few minutes. I look a little bit more comfortable It's always like that initial nerves that makes you feel so awkward But once you keep talking you kind of warm up And become a little bit more, um, you know confident is that he's not going to be influenced by the 1% The problem is that he is the 1% He is a billionaire. He has about nine billion dollars. As he said, he's really rich So it doesn't matter that he's not going to take money From lobbyists. He's going to bank for his own campaign and do just as bad For the country as if he was taking money From lobbyists who want to destroy their mental regulations who want to destroy workers regulations and whatnot So true true interesting that he talks about how there's an influence of i feel like i'm making solid points I mean, none of this is like revolutionary Um, but I mean, I was back at the time I lived and and breathed all this shit. So I knew everything about You know, Donald Trump, jeb bush, hillary clinton So I knew exactly what I wanted to say and at this point I would like talk non-stop To my husband about politics. So this is why I needed to start a podcast So that way I would have like some Outlet and not like bug him with this stuff not that he didn't like to talk about it as well But I was like obsessive. So I feel like the points that I'm making are actually they're pretty solid Money in politics, but yet at the same time ironically, he's running saying that he's going to bank for all his own campaign That's pretty ironic Now one thing that I think is It's pretty ironic. My talking is totally different. Do you notice that I talk different now than I did then And I don't know if that's natural for people to like Change the way that they talk because when I watched Kyle Kalinsky's first video He talks like a little bit different when he was younger But by and large he kind of sounds the same like he was critical of himself And he said that he like Sounded like he was trying to make his voice deeper than it really was but for me I think that the the difference like the juxtaposition between now and then is much like The contrast is a lot wider You know, I don't know I don't know. It's it's it's just weird. We're all our own biggest critic, but like It's it feels so different like the way that I talk here is is very strange to me Interesting and interesting too is that he actually paid people to cheer because I mean when I first saw the video I thought it was interesting how many people were sitting there cheering for him I mean really loud cheers, but it all makes sense when you read an email that he put out It says we are looking to cast people for the event to wear t-shirts and carry signs and help cheer him in support of his announcement We understand this is not a traditional background job But we believe acting comes in all forms and this is inclusive of that school of thought. Yeah, kyle's Kyle's old videos does look pretty hostagey They kind of still do to be to be honest Uh, we were meaning about that not too long ago, but um it is It was very dark In his old videos. I feel like I had the lighting down pretty well like visually. It was okay uh, the audio however is just Atrocious, um, it makes me want to like lay down in the middle of the road and get run over by a fucking semi In terraria or or roblox or minecraft They don't have cars in terrarium. Now. What was the price that they were paid? $50 per person That is shameful. That's really shameful When it comes to the question of would I do that for $50? Okay, I don't remember what I said um Back then like during this time I probably would have done it for $50 because I didn't think that trump had a chance And um, I needed the money because I spent like all of the money that I had On a camera to start the podcast and so I was like I was struggling so I would have done it probably I don't know if I said this back then but like now thinking if I were in this place Probably I would hold a sign up now knowing what I know knowing that he actually became president I was a legitimate threat. No, I wouldn't have done this. But let's see what old mic says Or young mic. Sure. Oh, okay I agree with myself Donald Trump wanted to pay me $50 to put on the syringe here I would be as ridiculous as possible. I would be screaming at the top of my lungs because I think it's hilarious Now, do we actually have to worry about Donald Trump winning? Okay, this is gonna get interesting. Um I I'm pretty sure I like downplay and I think no, there's no way because I mean at this point in time Again, there was like this glimmer of hope in my eyes. I was a young lib cuck And I thought there's no way that america is That stupid to you know elect a carnival barker like Donald Trump like this was before he even jumped to the front of the poll So this was right when he announced Um, let's see what I say. I'm pretty sure I was like, no, there's no chance that he's gonna win We don't we don't because for one. Well, that's embarrassing. This is worse than the The little scandal that broke out with ren paul you sent stock photos on his website But I'm gonna read you a couple of tweets that indicate why He's gonna end up just dismissing himself from the election inadvertently. Oh mike. Oh mike Mike mike mike You have no idea You have no idea. What's in store young man You have no idea that the dumb fuckery of donald trump is what ultimately Arguably catapulted him to the presidency. You have no idea If I could go back in time and tell myself right here He's gonna be the president I would literally shit my pants like the stool that i'm sitting on would be filled with feces. I would shit myself literally So one of his tweets is quote Sorry losers and haters, but my IQ is one of the highest And you all know it. Please don't feel stupid or insecure. It's not your fault I just have to say that anyone who ever references their IQ unironically Usually has a low IQ. I'm just gonna put that out there. They're usually stupid Thank you donald Okay, for something like that honestly like I can I can I can give myself a pass I mean how kind of me right because when you see a tweet like that It's like this is very clearly an unserious person. There's no way this person is going to be the president one day Oh michael Mike mike mike So young So naive young man First of all of you Another tweet from donald trump money was never a big motivation for me except as a way to keep score The real excitement is playing the game I don't know what that means. I really don't know what that means. So if you do comment below and tell me because I don't get it. Maybe it's because I have such a low IQ and donald trump has such a high IQ That when he communicates these tweets it just goes right over my head. I don't know No, another tweet. I'm so fucking nervous I like I think I've gotten a little bit better, but you can tell I'm still very nervous here And I was like I remember being nervous I remember like the butterflies in my stomach because like this was it felt weird like talking to a camera Effectively talking to myself. Uh, it's just Yeah, it's very cringe-worthy to me. It's hard to watch this My twitter has become so powerful that I can actually make my enemies tell the truth No, when when you read that you think they didn't say I could make my enemies disappear But it's just I can make my enemies tell the truth. Well, okay Again, I don't really know what that means. No examples. No nothing I feel like the tweets that I'm bringing up, you know with the exception of the first one All of these tweets are completely insignificant and irrelevant and I probably would like nowadays I would like cut that out because don't drone on Well, actually I haven't really improved when it comes to droning on so Nevermind. Nothing has changed Moving on This one's a good one. The concept of global warming was created by Sorry, the concept of global warming was created by and for the chinese in order to make u.s manufacturing non-competitive I don't know what he's talking about. I don't know what any of this means Again, it's probably just going right over my head because I'm stupid and he's smart He adds to global warming and I'm gonna say something that probably I shouldn't say because I don't want to put this out there Because other people then say it I have a punch face I literally have a punch face like how could you not want to punch me in the face? The beard helped to a degree But I still kind of do I think I just I have an ugly smile Oh my god, I'm like dunking on myself I'm fucking myself up In another tweet this very expensive global warming bullshit has got to stop our planet is freezing Record low temperatures and our global warming scientists are stuck in ice Whoa, you you don't read the news at all. Do you this is or 2014 was the hottest recorded year ever Now when it comes to 2015 the first couple of months were already the hottest in recorded history We're breaking records Donald Trump. You're not paying attention. So maybe you're super smart But you got to pay attention buddy. That's part of the uh that comes with being intellectual Oh, no. So another one he says I am being proven right about I tried to give her a kiss and she like recoiled and then her foot got tangled up in My headphone cord and now she's really mad at me. I'm so sorry. So another one he says I am being proven right about massive vaccinations. The doctors lied save our children and their future Okay Yeah, yeah, see this is part of what fueled my naivete about Donald Trump because I thought there's no way this like anti intellectual dingbat who's explicitly anti-vax would ever get elected to the to the presidency um, unfortunately for me he did get elected and um, He ended up overseeing the worst pandemic in 100 years. Oof Oof You can save your children if you vaccinate them you're exposing them to measles if you don't in other types of viruses So that's just stupid. I don't even you know what? I think the difference is in my speaking is that I enunciate a little bit more nowadays because after like the whole point of me initially really starting this is because I wanted to get public speaking experience and so I kind of like self critiqued and looked at looked at this and thought I'm not really enunciating enough. Maybe that's what it is. I don't know It's hard to like I can't be objective about myself because everything is skewed, you know, so it's um I don't know. I don't know what it is, but my speaking is so different I can't even laugh about that one. That's just dumb. Now true young my favorite one of all is this one Amazing how the haters and losers keep tweeting the name Fuckface von clown stick like they are so original and like no one else is doing it If you guys don't know this is a name that john stewart gave to donald trump So the fact that it really caught on it just it warms my heart. I think it's hilarious and the fact that he acknowledged it Is awesome. It's really awesome. Now the final tweet as everybody knows quote But the haters and the losers refuse to acknowledge I did not wear a wig my hair may be perfect Maybe uh may not be perfect. Excuse me, but it's mine Donald I don't think anybody's saying that you wear a wig. We know what you're doing You're growing out like a flap in the back and then you're flipping it over your head It doesn't look like a wig. It would probably look like a mullet if you combed it all backwards We know that's not a wig. I don't know who's saying it's a wig But it's very clear that you're doing an epic combover, but I don't care about that That's how many it sounds like I have peanut butter on the roof of my mouth. Like that's the way I don't know what it is I don't know what I think at the time Like I was very like I wasn't sure how it would come across So I didn't want to like swallow the saliva that was in my mouth. At least that's what it sounds like I don't know. It's it's so weird to look back and like Criticize this although it is making me feel very old because I do look a lot younger here than I do now Like I'm an old fuck now and I was very young back then a young little whip whippersnapper Now I'm this old fuck who's like, um Who's soul has been rotted by? Bonticks What we should attack him for is the substance of his policy positions But the fact of the matter is that he doesn't really have any he doesn't know about practice. He's got money. He's born So he's doing this to get attention So I think we should have some more fun I want to know what your donald trump campaign slogan is this was trending on twitter a couple of days ago And I want to kind of keep this going because I think it's hilarious. I love it I love the fact that he's running. This was when I joined twitter as well worst mistake. I've ever made So even though like this video has more views now This was the first video that actually got a lot of attention It got like 300 views in the first couple of days and I thought that was really awesome So, um, let me see. Bernie Sanders is catching up to hillary clinton Uh immediately when brandy sanders announced, I was like I was on it I was very excited A new poll shows that Bernie Sanders is catching up with Hillary Clinton in new hampshire So according to the morning consult Bernie trails just 12 points behind hillary clinton in new hampshire and this is a very very important primary state So currently she's sitting at 44 points. Whereas bernie sanders is sitting at 32 now Of course, she still has a pretty big lead But this really speaks to the fact that bernie sanders is able to galvanize the people because he's a very very strong Public speaker, I think some people critiquing says say that he's not necessarily very charismatic But I think he is because if you really pay attention to the substance of his policies Well, then it makes sense and it speaks to most voters because Mike Mike that's not that's not technically what charisma means though But I do see what you're saying just like I think that we should say she has a message that resonates with people young mike Okay Most of his policy positions are overwhelmingly in favor with the american people We haven't really had a candidate like that since a really long time. Maybe perhaps candidate obama that as we've seen He's taken a completely different route The reason why I think this is occurring is because with Hillary Clinton We get I think that if I like were calm and not like super tense if I like relaxed my shoulders It would probably sound similar to me today. I think part of it is just like doing it for so long You you don't like you're less cognizant of how you come across and you just you just say what's on your mind As I mentioned earlier, it's going to be a really tough battle But I think bernie sanders can do it. We just got to get behind them. We got a support Him you can go to bernie sanders.com and donate to his campaign even five bucks is going to help because this is I forgot that I clicked out of the full episode, but this is the bernie sanders. Hillary Clinton clip Okay, maybe I kind of want to watch a little bit of this. I'll watch it on like 1.5 speed New Hampshire so according to the morning consults bernie trail is just 12 points behind Hillary Clinton in New Hampshire And this is a very very important primary state. So currently she's sitting at 44 points Whereas bernie sanders is sitting at 32 now, of course She still has a pretty big lead But this really speaks to the fact that bernie sanders is able to galvanize the people because he's a very very strong public speaker I think some people fatigue him and says say that he's not necessarily very charismatic But I think he is because if you really pay attention to the substance It's right man. Oh, should I just realize the old humanist report on the screen? You were a twink twink humanist support 2015 uh Bear humanist support and um old bear humanist support 2021 Since of his policies Well, then it makes sense and it speaks to most voters because most of his policy positions are overwhelmingly in favor with the american people We haven't really had a candidate like that since a really long time Maybe perhaps candidate obama as we've seen has taken a completely different route Uh, the reason why I think this is occurring is because with hilly Clinton We get these watered down more vanilla proposals while she thinks that maybe we should allow students to refinance their student loans Well, bernie sanders thinks that it should just be free while hillary clinton thinks maybe we should expand health care I'm not necessarily saying that's her. We're standing. She supports obama care. Well, bernie sanders thinks we should have universal health care So if you just really want to go the extra mile and elect a candidate who's really going so back then universal health care Didn't have like the negative connotations as it had back then it usually meant like single payer or a national health system But now when democrats say universal health care, that's like a cue for not single payer But back then universal health care in my opinion was like that was single payer It was a synonym for single payer or a national health system like even though those are like different systems But it just meant like everyone was covered For the most part Two people the mad guy is bernie sanders now Unfortunately, even though he's catching up to hillary clinton new Hampshire. He's still got quite a ways to go another state So if we look at iowa hillary is 54 points to bernie's 12, that's huge moving on to south carolina It's even a little bit more dismal hillary clinton has 66 points to bernie's wait. What just happened with the audio there. Holy shit That's huge moving on to south carolina. It's even a little bit more dismal hillary clinton has 56 points I don't know what went on there I wonder if like the audio glitched out on my laptop or something And so I used the camera audio and like replaced it. I don't know it's 10 points So that was weird make no mistake He has a lot of work to do but the fact that he's able to come from way behind and Almost catch up to her new hampshire. Well, it speaks. We'll slow it down. We'll do the drunk Uh drunk human support as mr. Anderson suggested that Hillary is currently leading just so far. Well, it's name recognition. A lot of people don't even know Who bernie sanders is It does sound drunk david pacman and louis they did a video about how One person. Oh my god, louis was still on the david pacman show back then no kidding that bernie sanders was actually a republican Even though this individual indicated that she's very much progressive So once he gets his message out there, I think that it's really going to take foot Now there's also some other reasons why I think that we should not really discount bernie sanders First and foremost, he has grassroots support if you look at his camera. Yeah, void. I think you're right like The highs are really high. It's very like it sounds like I'm recording in a tin can and again This is because it's coming out of my laptop's audio Uh, the audio is honestly really really insufferable. It's really really bad Paying events well Thousands of people are showing up more so Than some of the other events if you heard about the rick santorum event only two people showed or no It was one person although two other people showed up later and he called it a success No, that's not a success. That's a that's an overwhelming epic failure Now you're still saying epic fail back then that could have just been uh that I was like 10 years too late again I feel like people were not saying epic fail back then I don't know is that he raised more money than establishment republicans in the first 24 hours of his campaign Bring back the crickets Five million dollars exactly which is crazy. That's more than now we have dog snoring. That's that's the uh substitute dog snoring Although he he just fell asleep. So he's not snoring yet But you can you can hear the dog snoring on the on the streams marco rubio Uh ren paul and ted cruz. So this is okay. I don't want to listen to my voice anymore. It's driving me nuts Um, so that is the old humanist report. That's the first episode the first couple of videos And yeah, let me see the uh, let me see the comments Six years ago, I love this video excellent bernie is the man I responded thanks a lot hashtag bernie's army Bernie sanders i d in usa and thomas mulcair andy p in canada would give me a hell of a lot of hope for the first time I'm normally tepid to somewhat hopeful. Hey for north america That was an early poll the poll that came out two days later showed her at 42 and him at 32 only 10 points down Really, that's fantastic news. Thanks for the information. I'll be keeping close eye Back in these days, um, it's a little bit brutal when you first start out, right? Oh, I should respond to old comments. Should I be like Fuck you peter johnson. No, that's like this dude is literally like responding on one of the first videos and to do that Like a few years later would be so Dick-headed. Uh, it would be funny though. I'm not gonna lie. I wouldn't do that though But um, when you're first starting out, you see every single comment and so like if somebody says something shitty to you Or criticizes you or it makes some of your appearance Uh, then you're gonna you're gonna see it. So it's a little bit brutal back then now Uh, you you just don't see these hateful comments and when you see them Like I just don't give a shit like somebody earlier in the chat jumped in and told me to kill myself and called me a pussy It literally didn't even faze me. I couldn't care less. So like Actually, you just like You kind of grow Really thick skin that you kind you kind of have to develop and I think you do naturally over time But yeah Heart some oh, I could yeah heart some old comments You look so different in january 2020. Okay, okay I'll heart that one bernie 2020. Oh god these folks Uh, this person jumped in like before the 2020 election. I'm gonna heart all of these comments Mike, this is the future here hrc one. Oh, oh my god. Okay Somebody is commenting from the future, but this is the past now, but this is like 2018 Mike, this is the future here hrc one iowa by 0.25 percent and we won new hamsh by 23 percent We caught up hindsight is bernie 2020. Oh my god. This is just making me feel sad Because like we were all so hopeful. We were all young twinks back then Like I was right And now we're all just like You know We're weathered