Kelly Clarkson - Public Bathrooms and Drip-Drying [3/31/12: Reno, NV]





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Published on Apr 1, 2012

It took Kelly 8 hours to get to Reno for the show, and she shared with us a bit of her public restroom experience in Sacramento. She did not mind talking about her peeing experiences!

Sometimes...it is NOT easy being a woman!

What's up Reno?! I am so glad y'all are a great audience because I will tell you what: it took me EIGHT FRICKIN' TRAVEL HOURS TO GET HERE. I don't think in my whole career I have ever started a show late and that I am very sorry for. But I was like planes, cars, snow, blizzards, it was like [incoherent]. I wrote a song in the car, I watched Parenthood, anybody like that show? All of my electronics died. It was like 'okay!' Justin was my driver and he's awesome, but there's only so much small talk and it was like 'welp! We're still here, in the car together...on the way to RENO!'

Yeah, it was really, really funny. I gotta tell you the funniest part, which most people wouldn't tell you, but I am that classless that I am going to. Here we go: so, the first time I had to pee on the car ride, we stopped at a gas station, and I—I, I gotta take the microphone off. I kid—kid you not, this gas station—this is still in California (I had to land in Sacramento because it was too windy and whatever) and there are some bathrooms...Sacramento, we need to start a fund for their bathrooms. I mean, Sacramento, wow...that's all I have to say. And I mean, it's a public bathroom at a gas station, I get it. You're at a gas station, I'm not a prima donna. I grew up in the country. I could pee in the grass and be fine if I was on a camping trip...but, like, I wasn't on a camping trip people!! I was in a frickin' bathroom! It was so gross. There was...I'm not even gonna mention what all that was spread out on the floor, it was so gross.

But you know when you have to go, ladies? Men, you suck cuz you can go anywhere. I had to pee so bad. You just have to go. The worst part is when you're hovering, ladies, you know what I'm talking about. You're hovering cuz you're like 'there's no way in HELL my butt is touching any part of that seat. So I'm hovering...and you know when you're hovering and it like splashes—it's SO gross, I'm going there. You're a lady, and you know what happens, women, and you're like 'oh crap, it kind of got on me.' And then you're looking around, and this is the best part of the sacramento bathroom: no toilet paper, no paper towel. Are you freaking kidding me? And it's like around, you can't even be like 'oh!' out the door, there's nothing, it's around the back. They might as well call it an outhouse. It was really bad...and, yeah, DRIP-DRY, LADIES? THAT'S HORRIBLE!

Reno, I'm just saying, I really like y'all. I [something] to get here. It was bad! But I'm HERE, and I'm so glad y'all are here. Thank you all so much for coming.

But seriously, though, if reincarnation exists, I better be a man when I come back. Because women, we have it hard. It sucks!

So this song...there's no great segue from that, P.S.

[Audience: We love you, Kelly!]

Yeah, I can't believe you still love me after that story! I probably lost a lot of fans, but gained a whole lot of white trash ones. But that's alright. I'm a little classless, a little white trash.

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