 Well, hello and welcome to Jonathan from the heart. I'm Jonathan as they have Jonathan aspect comment I'm so excited to be shooting this short video for you today our topic the three habits high quality men are attracted to those three habits Really quickly these are my weekend videos that I shoot out on my balcony very similar to the videos I shoot in my private group called midlife love mastery This is a group where we do a once a month webinar where you can ask me questions directly It's a live call. Also. I we have a Facebook group where people post questions and Each week I shoot three videos on the group based on the questions you ask So check out the link below to midlife love mastery. All right, let's talk about those three habits High quality men are attracted to first off. Let's just for the moment Say that high quality man or a high quality woman Represents an emotionally mature person who has their stuff together. Okay, they have their shit together Okay, let's just establish that that's what we mean by high quality because I don't want to differentiate people from a level of quality But hey, it's an acronym that or it's a it's a label most you like to learn about so let's just start from that premise So from a first date second date third date perspective, that's kind of what I want to lean into is the early stages of the dating process What is someone really attracted to from another person? Like what makes a man want to go out on a second or third date with them with a woman? So because my specialty is a dating relationship coach for women So really quickly By the way, my mug says choose today I choose joy and my t-shirt says humankind be both. Okay, which totally relates to this topic So one of the things that men are highly attracted to is women High-quality men are attracted to curious women inquisitive women women that want to go beyond the surface I am sad to say that most dating today is just so surface level Conversation. Hey, what's up? What are you doing? How was your weekend? I hope you had a nice weekend Did you have a nice weekend? Oh, did you have a really nice day? I hope you had a nice day Wow, I really you know, it's like this kind of crap What what if we go deeper? High-quality men want women who go deeper and be curious I'll give you an example of something. I did some years ago I was on a first date with a woman who happened to be an attorney and And she was a Litigation attorney, so I was like really wow. I was just kind of fascinating. I go wow I And I started to ask questions. I was curious, you know, what inspired you to become an attorney What inspired you what inspired you to choose litigation law versus intellectual property law versus criminal law what inspired you? I was curious and so I did something called drilling down I I kind of went on another level another level another level You know, it's fascinating ladies. I go out on dates with women and women won't even ask me about I mean, I'm a dating a relationship coach for women. You would think that would be tons of fun Conversation I've gone on dates with women who refused to even talk to me about my professional life and I'm rather bored You know, I mean to me that's something I'm very proud of so leaned into a guy's profession Lean into it and be curious go another layer another layer another layer underneath By being inquisitive what inspired you to choose that what inspired you to do such? Okay, be curious be inquisitive always be inquisitive always be curious And let me just say this this is this doesn't mean being in an in an interrogation on a date This simply means being curious on the date. Okay, the second thing High-quality men are attracted to women who are contributors contributors So let me set the stage because this is something a lot of you are going to disagree with me So let me just set that stage right now I'm Most first dates today are with strangers. We're meeting people through the internet So it's not a legitimate date first. It's really a meeting with another person. It's a meeting So when two people connect from the internet, it's like the guy might take the initiative and take the lead By making the suggestions and doing the planning just because we've been you know We've been imprinted to do that But the reality is is it's two people meeting as if it was two friends meeting And something that's very highly attractive to a man who's a woman who's a woman who's a contributor so when a man You and by the way Men typically pay for the first date. I mean, that's just Socialization we're used to that but what we're really attracted to is a woman who makes the effort who either makes the effort by saying Hey, can I contribute? Can I treat? Can I pick up the tip? Can I pick up the valet can I do something to contribute to this now some of you saying well If the man did the asking he's supposed to do the pain ladies. Listen, I Understand that's where you're coming from But I want you to know that this is what we're attracted to and I share this story over and over again I went on a first date with a woman who You know, I picked up the tab at the bar for the first round and came up for the second round and She goes I've got it and I go no, I've got it and she goes I got it We got into a little pissing match Now what happened next I'm going to wait to the very end of this video to share because this is hugely important to understand what made Me very attracted to her, okay But the third thing I want to lean into is being vulnerable being vulnerable Ladies I know you're afraid you're you're afraid to be Afraid you're afraid to be afraid in other words You're afraid to express yourself with a man, but a man who's a high quality man Isn't afraid of your fear. So it's okay to be vulnerable on a first date It's okay to lean in and share a concern. You might have about the dating process You may be concerned about the relationship process It's okay to be vulnerable because a high quality man is going to lean into your vulnerability Because he's already secure and who he is he already loves himself And this is why I'm such a big proponent of reading two books in particular First reading the book nonviolent communication by Marshall Rosenberg This teaches you how to be how to express your vulnerability in a way that's seen heard and understood So check out the link to Jonathan recommends books. I highly recommend checking out my book or this book Excuse me now. My book is called what the heck is self-love anyway if you've ordered my book Please post a comment below. I'm very grateful for you. This is about learning how to be vulnerable This is how to communicate vulnerability. This teaches you how to be vulnerable I take you on a journey of personal development self-help and spiritual work So you can become more vulnerable because quite frankly a high quality man is going to be able to lean into your Vulnerability you don't have to lean back you can lean into your vulnerability with a high quality man now This doesn't mean vomiting your fears. Okay, this doesn't mean just vomiting drama and fears But it's okay to say look I have some concerns because of my past and I want to communicate this with you And I want to have a dialogue with you. That's absolutely what a high quality man will appreciate. I Once did on a first date with a woman I said hey, let's both share our red flags and what I mean to say is what could be something you could be concerned about About me and tell me something I could be concerned about you and we shared it We had this great dialogue together. It was a great conversation. It wasn't how are you doing? How's the weather? How's the pool over there? How's the balcony over there? How's the sunset? Let's go deeper Because the deeper we go the stronger roots we build to trust and that's ultimately what you want strong roots to trust Is this sinking in I hope so this is one of the reasons why I highly recommend checking out the book if the Buddha dated If the Buddha dated this is more of a spiritual way to date a more humankind way to date Because I want to go back to that money piece because I know this is a real issue for many of you But I want to tell you what happened But before I do I want to share with you if you're not familiar with Matthew Hussie's work Google Matthew Hussie on YouTube and paying for a date I love the way he talks about paying for dates because he goes I treat someone on a first date the way I treat a friend of mine a friend of mine like I'm meeting a friend I don't have expectation of another human being now He says if a man was raised right he will pay and if a woman was raised right She would offer to pay but I want to go a little bit deeper here This is hugely important. This is valuable. This is why this is so critically important I know a lot of you are upset with this but just hear me out for a second So this woman I went on a date with I said Second round at the bar came up and I go I've got it and she goes I've got it And I go I've got it. She's got it and we got into a little pissing master She put her hand on my arm and she said Jonathan I really appreciated that you picked up the last round Would you allow me to show my appreciation by contributing and picking up this round? Will you allow me to show my appreciation now I was floored in that moment and because I'm capable of receiving love That's what she was doing. She was offering love in that moment. Not I love you just love Compassion kindness human kind I said yes, and what I later realized that this is a person I could be in partnership with And while we didn't go the distance because it was a long distance relationship And we had some we weren't in alignment with one another what I realized was I could see her as a partner Because she showed up as a contributor. Excuse that Orn right now. She showed us as a contributor on the very first date And that's what a high quality woman does and and again you can beef all you want But that's my suggestion to you if you want to establish how you can be attracted to a high quality man Be inquisitive be a contributor and be vulnerable because that's going to make a big difference to a high quality guy Low quality guy who cares? All right, I hope you got value from this video If you have any questions if you want to post a comment if you're going to disagree with me Go ahead. I'm okay. I can handle it I'm a human I can handle it As always and by the way, if you think you'd like to have more of a personal church Check out the link to a free discovery call to see if working with the coach is right for you Okay, I'm going to wrap up about this video as I always do but now with my teddy bear First off, I'm going to give myself a big gigantic Jonathan bear hug of self love I'm going to reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay I'm going to ask you to turn to someone or a pet or even a teddy bear and give it a hug of love because hugs Are a great source of love and we can all use more love in our lives. Thanks a bunch. Bye. Bye now. Bye. Bye