 Hi there, this is James Swanik and you're listening to the Alcohol Free Lifestyle podcast where you learn how to take back control over alcohol and live a life of health, wealth, love and happiness. How do you be the only African-American in a group of mostly white people who are quitting drinking? What is the topic today? One of my Project 90 members by the name of Mark Davis reached out to me proactively and suggested that we speak on this very topic. They didn't just come into my mind as I was sleeping one night. Mark Davis is 46. He's a non-profit business consultant and he is a minister for the Redemptive Life Christian Fellowship Fellowship, I should say, which is a non-denomination Christian church and Mark is an African-American. He's on day 62 without alcohol. So congratulations to Mark. That's amazing. And most of my Project 90 members and just for the uninitiated Project 90 is the group of people who are getting coaching and accountability and having fun around quitting drinking for 90 consecutive days. It's a program I've had since 2018. Mark joined 63 days ago. He's now on day 62 without alcohol and we're going to dig into his story in a little bit and just find out what his drinking was before the program and how it's going at the moment. But as I said, Mark is the only African-American participant at the moment and Mark wanted to discuss that and talk about that. And he thought this would be super valuable for our listeners on the podcast and for viewers on the YouTube channel. Mark Davis, it's great to have you here. How are you, sir? I'm doing well, James. It's great to be here and I'm excited about the opportunity to join you in this podcast. Thanks for having me. Of course and congratulations on day 62. Just tell us before we get into this topic what your drinking journey has been up until this point. Well, as with many people, it's process. Whether you start college, partying, beers and all this stuff, post-graduate become a professional. As you and most Project 90 members know, it becomes not an American normal, societal norm. Whether it's colleagues after work, whether it's dinner parties or whether it's the guys getting together. A lot of our customs and traditions internationally is not just American things, not just the black and white thing. They're surrounded about alcohol. And for me, as you mature, age, wisdom, things like that is not that you just recognize that there's something deep down inside in your spirit. And you're good to say, I could be a little bit better without this. And that's what led me to your program, that curiosity to know deep down inside. I'm not at my best. I'm okay. Nothing's wrong. But why would I not want to be my best? And so that's why I reached out to you. I saw some, you know, some exchanges with you on YouTube. We exchanged a few emails. And I remember where I was sitting at that Saturday when I emailed you back. I think you'd emailed you back. I said, let's do it mentally, emotionally. I was locked in at that moment because as you and many other Project 90 members know, it's like, what does a person, what does a guy like me fit in? You're not an alcoholic. You're not, you know, you're not out doing anything, beating your spouse or anything, but it's like, you know, I don't feel great in the mornings. Even as ministers, right? And as ministers or pastors, people of the church is like, people drink you human, but there's this thing for me, I can only speak for me. There's this thing deep down inside, getting up in the mornings consecutively, whether it's a night, two glasses of wine or three or four or the whole bottle. And it's safe. It's practically normal, right? It's normal because you do these things in the comfort of your own home and you're not hurting anyone. You're still productive. You have a job. You have a job. You make a quote unquote high income. But for me, and like many of the other Project 90 members that I've resonated with, there's something really deep in your gut that says, there's more. There's more physically because you can't, you can't drink a bottle of wine every night for, you know, 50 years and, you know, keep it clean slate of hell. So that's one, as I'm physically aging. And two is for me, I'll be honest with you, I had to be accountable to myself as a minister, honestly. And many, I was, I was not being accountable to myself. And therefore, through being accountable to the Word of God, you know, even as I joined James, you've probably seen a lot of videos that I've done. And it's amazing how the scripture hits you in the face. Even as a minister, it talks about alcohol and the responsibility of it. And, you know, from proverbs to, you know, proverbs is a great one. For example, when it talks about the responsibility of wine as a marker, strong rank as a brawler. And then, you know, one funny story in proverbs, the end of it, and I won't take all the time to talk about the Bible here. But it basically talks about in Proverbs 31, the king's mother is talking about what kings do. She's talking to her son, if you're going to be a king, this is what it looks like. And basically the piece with alcohol, she says, kings don't drink because they leave it for the common people to nourish their hard times, their ailments and things like that. But you as a king as a man, it's not for you. And so when I thought about that, I said, for me, that analogy was not literally being a king. It was more or less being the best I can be, the leader guy called me to be, the leader who I am, the best that Mark Davis can be, simple as that. And without judging pointing your fingers at others, but just saying, I knew this was a thing that I wanted to get into so I could be my best. Yeah, wonderful. And now your day 62, and you mentioned before that sometimes we lose count of what day we're on because at some point it ceases to matter. But just out of note, your 62 days into the program, what were you drinking before you joined, by the way? Like what was your drink or what were your drinks of choice? Chardonnay. Chardonnay. Chardonnay, my family, my friends, that's, that's, give me a chill Chardonnay and I'm good. And again, you know, these things are what we call normal, but the consistency and, and sometimes in excess, whether it's in your own home or whatever. You know, I felt, even though I was under the umbrella of normal, for me and where I want to go in life, it was in excess. Yeah, got it. Well, congratulations on your success so far and we'll come back to the drinking part in a second. I want to shift the conversation to what we, you and I had decided that we were going to talk about here, which was the fact that at the moment you're the only African American. And you actually did, did educate me before we started here that it was okay for me to say the only person of color or the only black guy that the most politically correct or most formal references only African American. So thank you. Thank you for that. And you wanted to just point that out. And so what is it that you wanted to share? What do you think is worthy of discussion about that? So, and again, as we talked prior to joining live, the thing is for African Americans in this case or any minorities, I can guarantee there's a certain percentage to senior YouTube videos at the scene of things on Facebook. And when they look, they're saying, I don't want to be first one, or there's nobody that looks like me, whether you're male or female. And so that's often, there's often a hesitation to join whatever group this project 90 or whatever, whether it's a civic organization, or social organization. There's oftentimes the hesitation, because there's a there's a fear that your culture and your identity won't be embraced. And there's just a fear of being the only black person. And, and I thought this video would opportunity to to talk with you James is would be important because there are so many people African Americans, just like myself who can benefit from this program. That's what it's all about. It's not about, you know, the percentage or numbers is that there's people out there just like me, who can benefit from this program. And, you know, I want to say do it because really, the group is just a diversity of people and I love it. And, you know, a lot oftentimes, that's the fear of coming into a program, and you're the only one and is like, What do I do, especially if you haven't had experiences, whether it's corporate again, whether it's recreational civic socially. If you haven't had a whole lot of exposure to interacting and being in groups with a lot of non African Americans, there's oftentimes a reservation and a hesitation to join. And I want to help remove that barrier the possible barrier by encouraging African Americans because for people like myself just to liberate just to say, What do you want in life, and where do you want to go and this project will help you as every person, regardless of ethnicity has has said about your program. Right. Thank you, Mark. When you were looking at maybe some of my promote promotional videos for Project 90 and about quitting drinking, maybe you were reading some emails, you're looking at photos of before and after photos of some members. What was going through your mind as an African American man as you are watching a lot of the videos and the testimonials and things like that. Were you like literally looking for another African American person where you noticing that most people were not of color. Like what was the story that was going on in your mind at that point. That's a good question actually not at all. And that it didn't happen into probably After a few weeks, I didn't even think about it because I was a very selfishly focused at the time. I was trying to get what I think what Mark Davis needed to get and When I saw what you offered, I said, I think this is it for me and I knowing what I know and I felt like having something to have some skin in the game would be a difference maker and like minded people with this entrepreneurs or what we call quote unquote higher income earners. People who are trying to get to a certain place increase whether it's sales revenue for the individual. Entrepreneurships or just flat out have the creative clarity that most of us have celebrated through being alcohol free for a certain period or periods of time. And so for me I was going in total selfishness just saying this guy can help me. Yes, let's do it. And so I didn't it was all about what I could gain and I was just laser focusing that way at first. And so then I began to think about I know it's a black guy just like me that's here in Georgia or California or wherever right or who knows and I understand the hesitation. I don't often have that hesitation because I'm a go getter I feel like is nothing stops me but me. But the reality of the fact is that minorities often in this case African American don't feel as comfortable saying I don't want to be the first one. And sometimes people literally said it's like I don't want to I don't want to be I'm not going to that part I don't want to be no black. I got seriously and this these are conversations now that the world is pretty much saying the lid is off. Let's talk about whatever and let's talk about things that we're not so comfortable with and that historically that we have we haven't been comfortable seeing as African Americans. And I think I thought this was a good opportunity to to bring that to light and again is not to say everybody should love being recognized me is the only African American that's not it at all. This is just the opportunity for other African Americans to say step out there be comfortable in search yourself and just be who you are. And so for me knowing it but I'm just going to be the best me love it or leave it. You mentioned something before where you said when you got into Project 90 you realize that there was a diversity of people. We just clarify that just to just elaborate on that. Diversity meaning geographical locations meaning people who are you know very young professionals they probably late 20s that are that are doing quite well for themselves. Seemingly you know I don't have everybody's birthdays but up into some of the group members have shared 60 and set 69 as you know some of the members that you've interviewed a share. So it's a broad spectrum of individuals male and female but from much different backgrounds. And I thought that was valuable because you know the person on their horse ranch out in the Northwest sharing. There's a certain bond that you begin to gain and you appreciate the individuals challenges that this year but their perspective also. And as I mentioned to you previously so there's a lot of indirect learning and takeaways as oftentimes without saying anything and the group meetings and yeah so I thought that was very valuable. So having that diversity and oftentimes seeing other people's growth their strength was has been very valuable for me. Has anyone brought up the fact that you are African American at all. Has that been any point of conversation on any of the group calls that you've been on or have you proactively brought it up on any of the many group calls that are available to members. No and I'll be honest with you and my gut feeling and I have a pretty keen sense of people. I don't think it's been an issue. I don't think everybody cares really and which is good. But I think and from my experience everyone every part of group call I've been as value my perspective and has you know appreciated some of the things I've been able to offer the group as far as you know my experience perspective or just an inspirational word for another member just like many have given to me when I've had some challenges that I've gone through or shared with the group. Yeah and I wanted to ask you about the Black Lives Matter movement that started in I guess in June late May June of 2020. What were your thoughts around that around that whole thing as an African American man watching on or the worldwide protests and the the very like huge viral Black Lives Matter. Hashtag and movement and symbol. What were your thoughts on that as you are watching on good question. The reality the reality of the matter is is is it's been an eye opener. I won't say an eye opener and opportunity if you pay attention to the opening facts that what African Americans. I can only speak from from my living only in the US experience in this country. If I go to a certain place driving a certain vehicle and I can have on sweats I may be treated very differently than I walk into a boardroom with my suit and tie on and I have I have tons of degrees. And so simply because of the color my skin and so the initiative started from just a simple a fairness perspective whether it's whether it's a fairness of the law. You know part of my part of my challenge to to the universe not only to our country but to to extend this into the boardrooms also James because that's that's something that's. African Americans experience you know discrimination sometimes in this the unwritten rules and systematic ways of not being a part of different opportunities. And so for me it's been very valuable because percentage wise we know African American men in particular which I am. I only have daughters but I have nephews and my heart bleeds because many of these folks who look like me and you know the reality of it is is that is that it makes you very not afraid but it's the sobering reality that your life. Your life no matter I look at myself no matter how much I contribute whether it's through the kingdom of God whether my love for just people period black white everybody. Is like my personal life may not be valued the same as yours or another individuals simply because the ignorance of the amount of melanin in our skin. And that's something that I think needs further education but I think the awareness and I've talked to many of my good friends who are Caucasian to call me text me to check on me said what can I do. And some of them said I just I really haven't felt it you know as a friend I didn't feel the things that you are afraid of. I you know I just never felt that I never had that fear of the reservation when police get behind you and your heart beats because you're a certain gender and a certain ethnic group. And but those are the realities and the good thing is the good news is that this awareness people are marching protesting non violently black white brown. However you want to put it and I think we're we're realizing almost I think I see that we're realizing just as a humanity we're better than this. You know we're better than this and I think our world right now is so intellectual. It's it's beyond the fact that this this is old news. This is not 50 years ago. This is not 50 years ago Alabama. This is the real business world. This is the international business world that we live in. And because a person looks differently it's pretty absurd actually it's pretty ignorant. And so although we know these things exist and they stem from traditions and environments and communities but it's it's great to see that the conversations and the marches are happening but we still got some work to do. And so I'm really excited. Although I've been very hurt when I see I live in Georgia. You know what happened recently here in our state. And you know it's quite it's quite ironic because one time probably 15 years ago maybe less 10 or 15 years ago I was running at night. And someone threw a bottle at me and you know and it was a Caucasian person and said a few things and I was just jogging and it probably missed my head by a few inches. You know I got a knot on the back of my shoulder but it was just I'm just just because I don't like this guy is knowing I'm jogging. And and so so I could I jog I can get night but it just reminded me of people could just hate someone that they don't know because they're out jogging. And so these these things are absurd but the reality of the matter for right now is people used to have to be safe you still got to protect yourself. But in the future 10 years 2050 years from now as the world emerges and becomes even more intelligent and really understand what it's about. Especially you know I have seen very few people in my life especially want to become elderly or ill that race matters to the person who can save them or help them to become healthy. And so when we start to look at things through those lens or when you when you think about what is the end of my life going to look like. Do I want to really live with hating a person that much. Whether that's not only racial gender but even whether it's sexual preference or you know gender it's this is absurd. Now this is 2020 and it's just it's just it's just time for the world to just kind of wake up. And I personally think from a spiritual perspective God is saying I'm just stopping everything for everyone to just reset refocus and pay attention on what's important. And we have the opportunity to do that. What have you identified is important to you in these last say 62 days that you've been alcohol free. What was your intention when you when you enrolled with me inside of my program and how has that been going and maybe just contextualize it a little bit by maybe sharing a little bit about your life and your family and how you became a minister. I'd just love to know a little bit more about you and what your your motivation was for going on this path. Oh wow. So I'm one of those ministers that you know I didn't have the squeaky clean background. It's like I'm that guy with the checkered past who's a party lot been every every bar in the city almost and been out there. But you know for me I give credit to God for just giving me the opportunity to kind of wake up. And so Project 90 I said it to Kevin who's an awesome counselor. I said it because it's like my eyes have been opened and 46 years a couple decades of drinking where there's you know social party whatever whatever. But it's like when you separate yourself from something you know some people it could be drugs or it could be alcohol it could be some any other addiction right could be shopping. When you remove and separate yourself from it you begin to begin to really see and value things more differently. And so in part of the sobering reality is I'll share with the group recently of being sober is that things things look very differently once you once you open your eyes. And sometimes that can hurt our feelings because we may have friends or something like that that they may only want to be drinking buddies right. And it could be some of those people that may be holding us back from from the true our true destiny I feel like. And so for me again that person with the checkered past saying this juncture in my life I want more not only professionally and I think what's been really showing up for me is the fact that like you're kind of mad because it's like. If I had this clarity like 10 years ago man I would have been killing it. But you realize in my from my own thought my belief is that it's on God's timing right I'm not 76. And so there's still so many things that I can do I will do I can accomplish and the creativity because my mind is really clear has been flooding me. And so I do feel this is a healthy pressure of like all these projects that have come to me from being in a creative space and that's been awesome. And when you're drinking you literally are besides the besides the the the money spent piece of it. You're literally losing and I really start paying attention you know this as well as other project 90 members. You're really exchanging a loss for a game. So you're comfortable your buzz for a couple of hours OK that's you know relax that's what we call it right we want to have a couple glasses of wine to relax. But the reality of it is is you're going to lose productivity. I don't care what you say I've tried and done is say I'm still going to do this I'm still going to do that. And you kind of just add. And you write it down and it still doesn't happen and next thing you know it's two months gone by. But you so you're exchanging productivity for lack of productivity and just from a simple equation standpoint. If you switch that time say OK I didn't have the couple glasses of wine. I'm going to whether it's finished proofing my book before I send it to the editor this week for example. And you get that done and it's like wow I've been saying honestly I told Kevin when I first started with this I said I told you this I said I won't get my book off right. And so man I've gotten this thing off to the editor but that probably realistically wouldn't have happened for another six months because out of saying yeah I need to do it I need to do it. And we've late we wasted so much time you lost the productivity and then the productivity you know this as well as I do. There's not a mathematical formula for this. It's almost like it's almost like giving right. Take it from a Christian perspective or biblical perspective. There's no mathematical formula. If you do if you buy into the system great things come I say I said this to the group before when you free your mind of these things it's almost like God or the universe says because you've done this I'll just reward you openly. And so for me it's the it's the you said it before. So it's like it's hard to explain to someone is like it's not about how much he spent on per day of per week on alcohol. It's like you don't know it until your mind is free and clear that these creative ideas are going to help my business. It's going to this book will sell a little profit whatever amount of money. It is not even about the profits about just using my raw deep down talents. And so for me is like getting that stuff out there and most people in this group I've experienced is really not about just about I want my business to grow. It's about the creativity so they feel so they feel like they're in alignment with what they're supposed to be doing with who they are like naturally. And that's really amazing and that's the thing that you can't write this formula down. You know it's times I'll be honest with you. I've been frustrated but I've checked the box. I'm like I don't feel like being on this freaking call today. It's Friday. I'm tired. I'm getting on it because I committed to it. I'm going to do it. James said do XYZ. And you know after the call is like man I was I really gained a lot you know and it's like your attitude is shifted and but you're motivated and it's not it's not a formula you can package and put together. But if you work it in my opinion our Universal God says I will just reward you by by removing yourself from something that's so common. And it just opens it just opens doors up for you. And so it's hard to say until you get into it especially someone like me who like myself and many others who feel pretty articulate feel pretty competent capable and and feel pretty. You know pretty good self esteem but it's like it takes you to that next level you know and I love sports I use a lot of sports analysis is like you see these athletes I'm a big Kobe fan resting piece Kobe but it's like Kobe was that guy. He's the first person at practice and he's the last and is like all these guys are pros they're going to show up to practice but it's like that's what separated him because that extra boost that just that little extra. And for for me I wanted the same thing I wanted what is that extra that can keep me you say 6 out of 10 you know I was probably coasting making over 120 grand probably coasting at 55. Seriously maybe 60% and I'm not saying it to brag but I'm saying from a common sense perspective I looked at it I said. Damn if I could do 90% 85 I'd be killing it seriously. And so one has to think what is what is the difference between that let's say 60 and 85 90 and what what what is preventing me from being at that 90. You know 100 is a hard sale people say well I'm every day I'm giving 100% I know for me that's probably not going to happen. Not 100% every day. You know whether it's this week holiday week and I may kind of fade off early Thursday and not work on Friday but the reality of it is even if we commit to 90% that's killing it more than most. And so I looked at it again from a simplistic standpoint. What is it stopping me from being at 90 is it alcohol is it is it not this and that and other. So when I started adding these things that are part of the program. Okay we removed alcohol. Okay cool. All right we increased water. All right I was doing ice cream for a minute. Okay so I stopped that I went from ice cream to not ice cream smoking cigars not smoking cigars. All right it's like now Mark okay get your button Jim and be and like detox and all that gets up. And so it's a process for people right. It's like you don't go from here to here and it's like you're killing it 100% and so for me that's not been my experience and some of us joke in the group calls is like you know some of us are hung up on Diet Coke for a period of time whatever right. But we we talked through it we learned through it and but it's like you realize through these challenges group therapy meetings and conversations. What are the things that you notice holding back most alcohol but you identify other sources that is holding you back and you identify the resources that can help you to get to let's say that 90%. And I think that's the valuable thing because you can just say you can not drink and sit at home and never do anything forever. But it's all about for me is what do you want out of life. And so that was like the foundation for me for joining and the question before God led me to this program is like what do you want. Honestly and I didn't want to be that respectfully I didn't want to be that old guy that looked back and said damn man I gave I gave a lot of money and the time to alcohol and you know I could have did this this and the other. If I just like stopped or really cut it out most of the time I cut back I won't sit in so I'll never have a drink ever again. I just don't put that pressure on myself but I don't pressure myself to say I want to get out go ahead and get buzzed I don't. So man I'm really loving where God has placed me right now and I'm willing to write on that I'm really I'm going to ride that way for now because I've not been on that wave and I know what it's like. And so whether it's 90 days or 120 keep it going I just want to keep going feeling this way. Mark Davis 46 from Atlanta, Georgia. Thank you so much for suggesting we have this talk today. Thank you. It means a lot to me James I appreciate you I really appreciate you you're a man of your word and and for anybody who does watch this. You walk the walk you talk to talk but you walk the walk to and I appreciate that man. Thank you Mark so appreciative of you. Congratulations on Day 62. I'm sure by the time this comes out you'll be rocking and rolling either towards or just past Day 90 and long may it continue so good health to you. Thank you. May good health to you and and thank you for sharing your time and and for guiding us through what many might you know deemed to be a delicate subject but I think it was I didn't feel like there was it was delicate at all. I didn't feel like it needed that I thought like it was just very smooth and easy and yeah and you know so appreciate you giving us your your insight on that. You're welcome and I took your advice I hit the sauna today man the wet sauna and I feel awesome. Great work. Keep out the great work Mark. Okay. 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