 When the narcissist sees you live in your best life without them the narcissist discarded you or you discarded them and Some time has passed since then You have been growing and developing into the best version of yourself and now you're living your best life You look and feel happy and healthy You are very talented and successful You are with someone who loves and cares for you You have financial abundance You get to drive luxury cars You're able to travel the world and eat good food and the narcissist notices this They become aware of it Either through seeing you in person Or maybe someone told them about it and they see that you are doing better without them They see that you're living your best life and this is when they will often try to pop up in your life again They will try to get your attention Even though you may have forgotten all about them They will try to get you to notice them When the narcissist discarded you They left you in a state of anxiety and depression They left you at the worst point in your life and in their minds that means they have won It means they have defeated you at some game or competition That you didn't even know you were playing and this is the same whether you leave them or they leave you But even if you leave them by that point they would have already taken enough from you They would have put you through so much confusion agitation and commotion That even if you leave they'd still see it as though they've won They see it as though you've lost because they were just using you the entire time and if they leave you It's because they've already used up everything you have to offer It's because there's nothing left for them to extract and that is when they will leave you for dead and Then they will try to move on with someone else Because they were never invested in you. They were never invested in the relationship They were only interested in what you were given to them Your time attention money and affection and as time goes by they begin to lose interest in you They become less appreciative They no longer show any gratitude for what you do for them Now it's just something that they expect from you It's just something they feel entitled to So it's just tick of a granted. It isn't really valued or appreciated And it really doesn't matter how much you give to them or how often you give it They will still take it all for granted They will devalue you They will disrespect you because to them. It's just a game. It's just something they engage in for amusement or fun They don't take you seriously But they see it as though it's your fault As though you deserve to be mistreated because if you weren't so foolish and naive That they wouldn't be able to treat you in this way You wouldn't want anything to do with them That's how they manage to justify what they do to you When they start devaluing you, it's because they see you as someone who is completely useless Someone who isn't desirable or attractive They just want to get rid of you Every supply has an expiry date Whoever they're dealing with It's only a matter of time until they begin to get devalued In some situations The narcissist may stick around longer than other situations But that's only because the supply is making extra effort They're going above and beyond to get the narcissist needs met and that is why in those situations The narcissist will stick around for longer They might not devalue the supply so quickly Because they're fighting to make them happy and that is why so narcissistic relationships Can go on for 40 or 50 years Because the supply is sacrificing themselves and running themselves into the ground to please the narcissist But at some point the narcissist will seek out another source of supply And that is when they will just forget about you like you never even existed Because now they no longer see you as anything desirable or attractive And they have a dualistic mentality They see things in black or white Where something is either good or bad So they assume that no one else would want you They assume that you would never be good for anyone or anything They assume that anyone else would believe that you're deserving of condemnation That you're disgraceful shameful Dishonorable and discreditable So the thought of you moving on and living your best life Doesn't even cross their minds They don't even consider that you might need someone else They don't believe that anyone else would want you because while you were with the narcissist You neglected yourself You failed to care or provide for yourself Because you spent all of your time energy and money catering to the narcissist And you don't even realize how simple and basic you have become You've become average and ordinary Because you've been given the best of everything you have to the narcissist While you're just left with the crumbs And it just doesn't sustain you It doesn't keep you at the level where you should be When you're the source of supply to a narcissist You lose the person you used to be You used to be so full of energy and life You had confidence in yourself and your qualities and abilities But by the end of it you've lost yourself You don't take care of yourself anymore You used to indulge with every attention comfort and kindness But then you stopped doing all of that and now you spend all of your time energy and money Catering to the narcissist needs and demands Which you would otherwise have been using to build yourself To sustain the person that you used to be Which only tells the narcissist that you don't even care about yourself And it makes them believe that you deserve to be treated that way It makes them believe that you should neglect yourself Because whenever you're around them, it's all about what they can get from you Narcissists don't come into your life to give They come into your life to deplete you To consume everything that you have to offer And in their minds, if you were anything great You wouldn't be around them Because deep down they know they're not worth anything They know they're not deserving of anything great Which is why when you do come into their lives They don't treat you with any respect They just see you as something to play with But once you leave the narcissist You have more time to spend with yourself You have more energy to take care of yourself You have more money to spend on yourself And that is why it can often look like your entire life has changed You start eating better You have more time to work and exercise You have more money to do the things you want to do You can make your own choices and decisions So you're able to live a life that's more true to you You feel more connected to your soul Because now you're living a life that is authentic You start looking after yourself in the way that you did before them Your energy comes back You look and feel better Your distinctive qualities and characteristics start to come back It's like you've been brought back to life And you start to feel like yourself again Because while you were with the narcissist They were sucking your energy and life out of you They needed that to sustain them But they had nothing to give to you Which left you feeling drained and lifeless in the process It leaves you looking and feeling less desirable and less attractive But once you leave the narcissist You're able to spend more time with yourself You're able to give yourself what you need To look good and feel good about yourself And while you're taking care of yourself The narcissist is busy exhausting someone else Draining them of their energy and resources And it's really only a matter of time Until they see them the same way they saw you As someone who is not desirable or attractive Someone who is not deserving of their consideration It's only when you leave the narcissist That they begin to see your worth When you start looking after yourself again When you're living your life without them That is when they idealise you Because your energy and life has come back Everything that they drained out of you has now returned You've had time to replenish yourself To restore yourself to your former level and condition And this is when the narcissist will try to come back again They will try to drain you Just as they did before But that doesn't mean they love or care for you That doesn't mean they have any respect for you They're just going to come back and do the same thing all over again They're going to use you for whatever they can get And then move on to something else Somewhere where they're more comfortable Because these individuals know where they belong They know they don't belong with you They know they don't belong with someone of a higher calibre And once you know that They're not even going to come back They're not going to put themselves in a position where they could be rejected So in most situations When you figure them out The narcissist will just stay ghost They'll stay hidden And the fact that you've moved on And done better without them Is just a reminder to them that they were the problem Never mind that they might minimise your success Or try to discredit you The narcissist will always have something to say They're never going to openly appreciate What one of their victims has managed to achieve after leaving them Because the message that conveys to people Is that if you are so capable of living your best life without them Why couldn't you do that while you were together? Thank you for watching I hope this video has entered with you Please like, comment, share and subscribe Click the bell icon to receive notifications for my future videos Check out the new Nards of our war website www.narchsurvivor.co.uk Where you can read my blog posts, book coaching sessions And join a support forum If you were elected today My paypal link is in the video description Coaching queries You can email me at coaching.narchsurvivor.co.uk Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon