 Hey Hello Welcome to above-life channel the purpose here is to inspire your spirit and fill you with hope and we're gonna do that by having some real conversations and As you know, I've been through a lot of interesting Experiences lately and using my intuition and my deep connection as an empath The feeling and sensory sensing part of me has been extraordinarily important during this journey and the last two months so For those of you who don't know I had open-heart surgery unexpectedly when I was away From home. I was actually in Massachusetts Then I went to Maine and stayed with a friend for three weeks to be able to heal My sister flew out and we rented a van and drove home Since I've gotten home here to the main house I've been staying here. It's like one level. So it's been helpful and I'm eight weeks post surgery I'm in cardiac rehab and doing great with that I'm fatigued at times, but I've been able to start sessions. I started sessions last week and so that is awesome that is super good and Today I wanted to take some time to talk to you about here on above life channel to talk to you about That this is the first part I'm just gonna I'm gonna share a little bit today I think and then maybe I'll share more in the future maybe next week or I'm not sure when exactly might be before that Because I'm processing. I'm still processing the experience I had so I'll set it up and give you a little background most of you know most of you who are followers of above-life channel and Follow me on Facebook or now tick-tock. I just started a tick-tock channel for above-life channel So go and check that out if you're a tick-tock person. I Just started it this morning. I literally was like, hey, I need a tick-tock channel for this and I Want to share with you what happened last night for me yesterday and so I'm gonna need some coffee for this one Hi in the chat. This is a live stream. So nice to see ya Hey, Kami. Hey Hallie. Nice to see you. Oh nice to see you Yes, I'm finally doing sessions. Whoop whoop. It's great right and catching up with my my clients I'm just catching up by the way from October I'm not doing new clients yet if you want to get in with me in next year You're gonna have to send me an email so I can put you on the wait list and then I should get in with you I should be able to maybe get to you in the middle of January or February, but I Got a backlog, which is the good thing, but I'm not as much as you think but it's good. Um, I Don't even know where to begin with this. It's really it's kind of awkward because I'm gonna Like as a person who Does intuitive work and psychic work. I and has been work. I've worked as a medium as you know I I could talk about this like from a professional standpoint, you know what I mean, but This is really personal and I had a client last week, which was really helpful. Um, who I've coached for like four years now and She's like it herself and She had a near-death experience and so She and I had talked about that before in our coaching sessions And so today I want to start by telling you about my kind of breakdown or breakthrough Maybe yesterday that happened for me. So remember it's been eight weeks since I had that surgery which involved me Totally being in denial thinking I was Something was off. I wasn't sure I was I was presenting with stroke-like symptoms on the left side of my body I was with some friends one of whom grabbed me by the arm when we were standing at the beach and said, yeah I'm calling this and Took me to the urgent care, which I had already been there two days before with a migraine headache and vomiting I thought I just had a bad headache for the whole freaking week and Turns out like I'm slurring my words and I'm just I'm presenting with some stroke-like symptoms. Um So we walk into the urgent we get into the urgent care. I was walking I was still cognizant and I was not I didn't pass out or lose consciousness or anything like that um immediately the doctor that saw me two days before saw me again and Made a quick assessment and called an ambulance and I drove an hour and like 15 minutes in the ambulance to hyannis Which yeah was the kennedy spot, right? Like I had just been there like days before when we were driving down um yeah and uh It was just weird. I was like here. I go back there and right there I was at the hyannis health Center and It was there were so many pieces of that that I would love to share with you Like what I remember about the ambulance ride and all that and maybe at some point I'll talk about those things individually like when it comes up and it makes sense But today I want to talk to you about um So that that that was very traumatic that experience I'm in this ambulance and I don't even remember getting taken out of the ambulance and into the er I remember sliding being slid into the cat scan machine in the emergency room Once and then I remember them All the sudden going no She needs to go back in and putting me back in and doing another scan because it wasn't a stroke It was a heart issue. Well, it was actually an aortic issue, which the aorta is not part of the heart It's like the The vascular the vessel thing That supports the heart right that helps the heart do its stuff and it was totally shredded And I also had an aorta or I'm sorry an aneurysm also It's like shock that I was alive like literally they were like, oh my god How are you conscious and talking and Like you're alive 85 of the cases of what's considered an aortic dissection Which is what john ridder had Um people die. They don't make it to the hospital It just happens. It's a heart thing and then they usually say it's a heart thing or they died of a heart issue And really it's technically an aortic dissection and it usually happens to people who are like smokers or Have high blood pressure cholesterol. I don't have any of those things And so it's like this weird phenomenon plus I'm younger, right? And I am going through genetic testing in february to Determine if there's some kind of underlying vascular issue or connect the tissue disease or something that may have contributed to this I was also on hormone replacement therapies since march this year, which can contribute to vascular issues heart issues and Especially connected to the aorta. So it's possible that they may have helped to assist the situation along I'm not sure we won't know yet for a while um, I don't know if I'll ever honestly know the answer to that but So it was a very traumatic experience So then um my two friends like I wasn't with my family. I was just with my friends and Um, one of them I'm very very close to and so she was an advocate for me. She really um Was my voice when I didn't have one and she was my rational brain because I was not Thinking I was just like, oh What's gonna happen and the doctor's like looking over my looking at me and His face is like super close to my face and I'm laying down. I'm going Can I just go to the bathroom please because I had so many fluids as I was Going in, you know, they were pumping me full of all sorts of fluids and stuff like that and the I remember the person In the ambulance say something like well, well, you're gonna need these when you get to the ER and I'm like, okay and Whatever if you have to have surgery or anything you're gonna need these this will benefit you and I'm like, okay I'm thinking whatever dude. It's fine. I'm fine. I'm gonna be fine Right the next day I'm flying home. It's no big deal I just want to feel better And I get there and I'm like I gotta go to the bathroom I have to go to the bathroom and they wouldn't even let me get up to go to the bathroom I was like so annoyed. I'm like, what? I'm like, come on and they're like giving me a bedpan going go ahead. I'm like, I'm not peeing Laying out on a bedpan. I ain't gonna happen people I'm like, I'm totally capable to get up and what they're like. No, you're not moving. Do not move. Do not move. I'm like That part I remember vividly I remember that piece very vividly I was a little pain in the ass. Anyway, so Luckily, I had an advocate for me. She's actually a licensed clinical social worker She was therapy and counseling and she works in an ER. So that was very helpful to me. Thank god, right? Like this is who who This is one of the people that was by my side So thank god, like I was given a human person that could at least help me and that was very I'm so so So grateful for that. That is just You know, so grateful for that Because I'm very stubborn. I don't know if you know that so is a very traumatic experience because The guy's looking over me and he's saying this is big freaking surgeon face and Like right over over my face and he's saying How long have you had an aneurysm? I said what he says your heart is in rough He said your heart. He said your aorta is in rough shape and I'm like what my heart and he said your aorta I'm like, okay, and he said We need to do surgery He says if we don't do surgery now you will die He said the surgery is risky He said you could die in surgery. You could have a stroke. There are lots of risks. He said I said, well You can fix it and he's like I he said, well, that's what surgery, you know surgeries for or whatever and I'm like, well, let's fix it I said fix it then let's fix it And so I thought I was going to have this little surgery I'm thinking like, you know laparoscopic. No, and I said, oh, okay So do you just like put some you know do a little cut here and there and you kind of he says no I have to cut your chest open. I'm like what He says like cut your breastbone Your sternum needs to be cut open and I'm like, what the fuck is this? I'm like what and so as soon as that conversation happened. I just was like That's I'm like, okay. Well fix it. You need to fix it We need to fix it because I'm not going to die and so 30 minutes later I was in surgery but I had time to call and you guys heard that conversation before I've told you that Make some phone calls and things but it's all this like it's this really intense traumatic experience where you're living it but you don't remember it and then it comes back to you and pieces there's pieces you start to remember and Last night I had remembering I've been a little um Oh, that's one of my kids Just a minute I'm working Sorry guys You know when you got kids that live far away and they message you and they're like, I need to talk to you and then you haven't talked to them for a while You're like, oh sheet. What's that about? um So I had an experience last night. I was standing here in the kitchen And I had been kind of feeling I had a little bit of a rough Well, it's been a week today. I have counseling again therapy again, which is good, but I've been My therapist was talking to me about anger and how I need to like she's like I think you need to connect with anger the feeling of anger the emotion of anger and I'm like I was thinking about it related to my Past experience. Hey patty. Thanks for joining us in the chat. Appreciate you patty is one of my moderators. Thank you um I know I'm beating around the bush you guys, but this is hard conversation to have But I want to tell you guys about it because I think it's important, especially in our community Especially as empaths to talk real talk about stuff and when emotions are coming um That's a good thing to Have those discussions and open conversations about them. So last night I was I had been trying the last couple days to connect with this anger energy of anger And it was really about the past the last two years. I've um Had experiences and relationships where I felt like I was I didn't make very good choices that honored me and in my integrity. I'll say it that way and I was hurt and hurting and In a lot of pain emotionally for like the last two years For sure and I did allude to and share early earlier last week about um depression that I was in a major depression this time last year like major depression like clinical depression and I went to the doctor finally at the end of february after my fiftieth birthday and Got medication and help and more counseling and stuff like that. So I mean, that's why I lost so much weight At that point, right so The council was instructing me to maybe connect with my anger about that because I there's things you can't do anything Like you can't do anything about other people's actions or behaviors If other people hurt you or they say things that are really messed up And it hurts you and and you feel like you deserve that hurt or you feel like guilty in some way It just makes it worse and that's how I felt right like I lived with so much guilt And shame and this betrayal energy and this I'm betraying myself like I'm abandoning myself and I honestly last year. I just thought I didn't want to be in pain anymore. You know, I just wanted the pain to be done and that's when the depression set in and all that and so I never really got Angry I got kind of sassy and snarky and a little you know I can be a little mean and stuff to people when I feel hurt I I stay mean things to get them away from me because I'm so hurt right like that's an empathic trick Not a trick. It's just it's just what we do right? We protect ourselves by Being mean to people because it pushes them away, you know or saying I don't want to or or we just ignore them We just go I don't want anything to do with you You're a fucking loser or you're or or we just ignore it or avoid it We just pretend like it's not a problem and then we just Coexist and just ignore it how much we're hurting how much we're in pain because we're so aware as empaths How much other people are hurting we ignore how much we're hurting? We just can't can't I couldn't deal with my own feelings Of pain and shame and guilt and just this like I'm destroying my family I'm the one that wants a divorce. I mean all this stuff, right and It's just It's been hell you guys fucking hell And still I'm like high functioning and I'm handling everything And I still have my business and I go get two different jobs to try to pay my bills And I'm doing all the things right and I'm handling life But how am I handling it by sacrificing myself my feelings my emotions by stuffing them By trying to do some of my spiritual stuff Thank god it was in like a program that helped to support me last year It was called rosamistica and it was like essential oils stuff like really fabulous oils And without that I think I would have lost my freaking mind because that gave me some healing Some monthly healing some connection that I needed to have and so thank god for that because I needed that So that probably saved my life to be honest with you honestly Because like last year in october when I was in disney by myself I Just about was like i'm not going home. I'm not. I don't know what i'm gonna do. I'm just gonna Just go someplace. I don't know what i'm gonna do because I was so Devastated I just felt so It was supposed to be like the happiest time. Am I you know, I'm in the happiest place on earth Last august and I felt like crap I felt so alone and sad and I had moments of like Like Remembering how good disney felt to me, but then I had other moments where I just I could have cared less if I was there or not I mean I was so devoid of emotion and So low and sad and just felt devastated. I felt like I was just deteriorating, you know, I think that was the beginning of the end for me As far as this is too much. This is too much, right? So then um, I'm doing all the things. I'm trying to make changes. I'm trying to make changes in my life and Doing the best I can and so I go in October and I'm doing this thing and then all of a sudden this health thing happens, right? And I'm in this trauma in this emergency room and I'm looking at this guy's face in my face and I'm thinking okay, uh I couldn't I couldn't even like I don't know if I was in shock Or denial, but I couldn't comprehend actually dying like what I'm like, wait I've kind of wanted this for a while Like I wanted the pain to stop and But I'm finally at a place where I'm like starting to kind of handle life and handle things and I'm living in the town house You know, and I'm I'm doing things. I'm trying to like progress. I have this great job that I really enjoy it's part time but it helps supplement my intuitive work my psychic work because You know, I need to make sure I can pay the bills I mean, I have like kids and I have kids in college and I have kids with cars and I have kids with That need help too and and I need help and so I Doing the best I can right? I'm like kind of okay. I'm in a place where I'm kind of okay right now I'm kind of okay. I'm doing my healing work. I'm doing my freaking work. I've been doing my fucking work I've been doing the work I've been doing my work But this anger piece I just could not I can't connect to and I've been told by a couple different people about the trauma that I experienced is going to come to me And I'm going to feel it and it started last night so And I think it's easier for me to get sad than it is to get angry or maybe when I get angry I cry So I might that might happen. I don't actually have tissue. I'm gonna. Oh, yeah, I do have tissue I've got a tissue in my pocket. I thought I put a tissue in my pocket I um Was standing in the kitchen here and I was triggered earlier in the day. I had a client that um, I don't talk to very often just You know every once in a while you have you have clients that you only talk to every once in a while and um They're not like consistent clients like maybe once a year I've only talked to her I think two or three times total in like a couple years but um She emailed me and asked me for her money back from our session in october and I hadn't rescheduled with her yet. I've been going down the list right and I've been rescheduling with people and I I just hadn't gotten to her yet and So I gave her her money back. I was like what? Okay, you don't want to reschedule. Okay And I so I was like wait what? And um It just kind of it threw me I was like wait what? Whoa, okay, and then I'm like, oh, well, you know, maybe it's a timing thing and I'm trying to be like, okay It's fine. It's not personal. It's just a thing. It's the holiday. She's a single mom. Maybe she just needs the money I totally can get that, you know, I totally can understand needing the money right now So I'm like, okay, so I gave her her money back And then in her follow-up email She said that she scheduled with somebody else in a cup like isn't gonna meet with them in a week or two Or something like that. I'm like Okay um So I felt really I guess I should probably shouldn't talk about that should I online like with my clients and stuff. Um It just it hurt Because it's not like I have the flu or anything. Okay, it's like I almost died So I was hurt. Um And then I started to get angry so I'm like, oh, maybe this is happening so that I can feel anger Because then what comes with anger is like feeling betrayed feeling like You're being used feeling like you don't really matter, right? Like all those things tie into anger for me at least anyway That's what that's what they tie into. It's like you're not good enough or You can't give me what I want. So I'm gonna do this instead. I'm I'm gonna go with somebody else It's just like somebody breaks up with you because they want to be They're gonna be with somebody else because they're right there and you're not there So they're gonna break up with you because there's somebody else there instead or something You know, I mean like that kind of thing, right? Apply it to whatever you want to apply it to, right? Um So I started to feel a little angry And then later in the day I'm standing here in the kitchen and I'm starting to feel back to that emergency room piece And There's a few things I remember from the operating room and I remember people talking. I remember the surgeons arguing About whether or not to helicopter me to Boston when we were Initially in the CT scan place area that year And then I remember in the operating room extra people coming in like they were arriving like they were coming They called the surgeons to come because it was a really long surgery and it was very complicated and they needed the experts So they called other people in to help You know, like 10 inches of my aorta was replaced So that's a big huge deal. Plus I had a valve replacement, which I found out is bovine by the way Is that funny at least it's natural you guys come on so I'm part cow I don't know how I feel about that It's okay. It's fine. I should get a cow tattoo now But um, I'm super avoiding this because it's hard to talk about some standing here and I I don't even remember how it came up But I just said I feel so guilty I feel so bad because And I hadn't shared this directly and like my husband was in the kitchen. He was making cookies And I hadn't shared this with him The feelings Because I feel so bad I don't feel angry. I feel bad like guilty because I said I didn't want to come back I didn't want to come back I know I was in the in-between place. I remember it you guys I remember having the choices three times. I had choices Two very prominent ones. I remember very specifically I think one was before I got there Maybe at the ambulance, but I know there was one that happened beforehand and maybe even earlier in the week Some kind of negotiation between my spirit guides and my higher self But then the other two I so I was on a bypass machine. So my heart wasn't beating itself and Like I was trying to explain last night that I said it's out of my it was out of my body like I said I wasn't alive like I wasn't alive like I know that like there's machines breathing me and there's machines pumping my heart and like I said you I said I wasn't alive like I and I didn't want to come back And I feel bad about that because I have people that love me In family I need another tissue just I have people that love me And in fact this week I had a couple clients and two of the three clients that I had People cried and were emotional and said I don't know what I would have done without you I'm just so glad you're alive. I'm so happy you're alive And it's not that I don't appreciate my life. I do I have so much gratitude for being alive and And it plays into you guys into a above-life channel and how important this work is for me But I feel bad I do feel guilty that I didn't want to come back And it was because for the first time in like two years, I didn't feel pain in my heart My heart had been hurting for so long It was hurting for so long Well, I've been on this journey and um Since It feels like two years. I'm just gonna say two years. It's probably been a year and a half or something like that um Where I've been really trying to be myself and let myself Be me and be honest with people in my life my in my relationships and my marriage about what I want and how I want to express myself and Who I am and how that changes everything for my family and and the dynamics of like Me and my relationship and stuff and so um For the first time in a long time. I didn't feel pain In my heart. I felt so much guilt and pain in my heart you know for being for coming out and Trying to be me for being a queer woman and for sharing that with people That I love and most people are very very supportive But it still hurts right because it means things change and So for the first time in a really long time, I didn't feel pain when I was in that in between space My heart felt peaceful And honestly that felt so good To not have that pain And yeah I wasn't alive But my dad would not come near me He stayed on the other side of this glass thing And I think it's because If I would have met him or stayed or been with him I wouldn't have I wouldn't have stayed on that side and it wasn't It wasn't really what I wanted. I didn't really want to die I just wanted to not feel pain and so I feel like I was gifted that opportunity during that in between state while I was there in that afterlife space and then in between space to Have relief from my emotional pain in my heart and Know what that feels like and that I deserve that relief I deserve that peace in my heart and so I deserve to live my life like that with peace in my heart Because the truth is I am not a bad person like I'm I'm a really good person And I know that and I do love myself. This isn't about me not loving myself you guys. It's not about that I do love myself. I think I'm really fucking awesome And I'm really sweet and I'm genuine and I'm caring But I'm so so vulnerable and so unbelievably hyper sensitively psychic that I Was taking on the pain of everybody else around me. That was so sad that I was different And I couldn't die like that I couldn't die just giving up on me Years ago when I came out as a psychic person It was really hard and then two years after that my marriage ended my first marriage ended And he told people I was crazy, you know And I was scared at that time because I thought I would lose my kids because I was psychic And I came out as a psychic person I didn't Not at all, but I was scared, you know And so now I'm at this place where I'm scared that when I was in that place that To not fully live my life to just walk away and be done with it Discovering something new about myself. That's beautiful and loving and genuine and to not be a voice or not be live my life in love and fullness and expression would be tragic I couldn't die. I couldn't leave I had to I had to be here. I had to come back. So I came back And the physical pain is nothing The last weeks of physical body pain is nothing Compared to the emotional pain that I have been in it's nothing nothing Compared to that And I can't imagine how many people go through that kind of pain emotionally, especially all of us here empathic I know you guys have been through so many things heartache heartbreak deaths loss of children Traumatic abuse scenarios All sorts of stuff that you're healing from I know that we all have different we might have different stories But we all understand this heart place And how incredibly painful the emotional pain is and the psychic Intuitive energetic pain of the empath is profound So I came back And now I'm building up my physical strength. I'm doing really well I mean like I said, I get tired and I get sore and I overdid it yesterday And so my shoulders hurting me and all sorts of weird stuff happens when you have a sternomectomy Where they when they cut your sternome open and I know that sounds so gross, but it's just the reality you guys I just I just talk about it like it's no big deal because it's just what happened it's just factual and So weird stuff happens to other parts of your body, especially when you're under like For nine hours or whatever like all sorts of weird stuff happens It's just I'm freaking believable and then I have all these holes like in my body body. They're healing and all that and That there is a renewed purpose and reason For my being here And in part my work here with you on above life channel just so happens above life channel really fits now, doesn't it? been there Wouldn't recommend it Until you're really ready. Okay Until there's no other option Until your body's decayed And ready for that Final rest, you know mine wasn't Not quite I couldn't leave without Passing along this Incredible I have so much wisdom. It's been almost 20 years that I've been a psychic. Do you know that it's been so long I've been through so much divorces miscarriages um blended families Coming out as a psychic coming out as a queer woman um different jobs different, I mean just Just um ex-husbands that are practically You know that almost died twice from cancer and I mean just all sorts of stuff you guys there's so much I've been through human life experience, but I also have this psychic perspective I I And I have so many gifts. God damn it I have so many psychic gifts. I'm like, I'm really psychic like I have psychic friends that are like God, you're so psychic psychic and since this has happened like my really good psychic friend She said um, I have two really really good three actually really really really good psychic friends, but one of them. She's like You're on fire. She's like wow you're really wow and she's like works as a full-time psychic has her own Temple space. She's like all up in that major leader person whatever awesome person She's like wow you're on fire. I said I know because it's just wisdom I just know now and I said and I'm so committed to sharing what I know Like I know so much And I haven't passed it along like I haven't told people I haven't I haven't mentored people I I don't have any apprentices or anything. I don't I haven't taught I've I've stayed away from teaching because it seems like everybody and their mother's brothers cousins like buys a card deck and then they're a teacher. They're a spiritual teacher all the sudden after like two days, you know I mean, it's just like that's buzzwords and it's Just uh, it's just like saturated marketing and all that stuff and I'm like for me This is my life like this is what I made for and I'm like I gotta start I gotta talk I mean I talk here, but like I really gotta tell you guys all this stuff about everything like you name it I probably Oh god, that sounds so ego, but I know a lot A lot of psychic stuff And I also know this is the best part How do we even in to be a person and sometimes the psychic stuff messes with your person? Like messes with you're trying to be a human and sometimes your human stuff messes with you're trying to be Intuitive and live psychically, but guess what there's not one part of you or the other There's both parts of you and you got to bring them together. And so that's what I'm really good at is helping you do that Bring the two together be your full self But you have to honor both parts be a really good person By using your psychic gifts and intuition by using the healing that's accessible to you whether it be like astral star energy, whether you're palladian arcturian or from cirrus, whether you're an An astrologer person, whether you do hands-on healing work, whether you do prana healing or reiki or or heart healing or heart math or whether you do singing bowls or yoga or meditations or law of attraction stuff or The elements whether you do wick and stuff or Celtic stuff or Whether you do divine feminine or you're in a priestess temple or you do oils or you do smudging or You do you have sacred practices and rituals that you follow And you do that fit for you that you work with all the elements for or you do stuff on the full moon and the new moon or or whether you Speak light language or whether you work with sacred geometry or whether you work with crystals or rocks or whether What did I miss clearing I mean I mean, I don't care what platform you work on what you call it. What technique you use Let's integrate it. Okay, so let's help you be a better person By not being better for other people but being better for yourself like feeling better It's time to feel better. It's time to incorporate and integrate everything That you have access to it's time to stop feeling like shit and start handling your shit And so in 2024 that's what we're going to work on you and I because I am here and I'm not going to fuck around I'm done with that I'm done with that and if you just want like a drive-by drive through psychic greeting go to somebody else Okay um I will by the way offer services like psychic greetings, but I'm going to charge more for them And that's what they're going to be. There's not going to be any of this. Yeah, I want you to coach me Intuitively and really all I want is you to tell me what my team says and give me answers to stuff and tell me what to do No No, no, we are done with that. That is old school. I am not going to run a business like that because that has taken advantage of you That has taken your fucking money No, no, we're going to do this with integrity you and I We are And above life channel we are going to still channel celebrities because that's fun Okay, I was by the kennedy's you guys I was by the kennedy's in hyannis and I have a little sticker that says hyannis Which I should give away to somebody somebody might want that Right. I was right there you guys right there. It was so cool So, of course, I'm going to channel celebrities Why because it's fun and it's inspiring and when we do intuitive work and healing work It doesn't have to be all deep and serious because life isn't always deep and serious And I'm so tired of us just focusing on the focusing on the shadows Focusing on the bad stuff and the heavy stuff and then other people telling us other spiritual teachers telling us Well, we need to deal with our shadows because that's why the world is falling apart I'm like, no, maybe the world is falling apart because we're focusing on the shadows We have to have a balance Look at balance and so for you guys for me That's both helping you be people So you feel good and you feel better and using all your intuition stuff that you have access to And that's what coaching is about coaching the person the brain To understand the intuitive stuff and to understand how energy works and And understand how intuition works and to understand different tools you can use like card decks. You can use card decks Of course you can it doesn't have to be tarot It can be if you're really into that if you love if you're drawn to To totem animals and use a tarot deck that has totem animals on it or use some special deck That has a lineage that you that just lights you up. Yes, of course do that. That's awesome or things like tools like journals journals Writing not for answers, but maybe to clear to process To release that kind of stuff you guys that's that's exactly what we need or maybe Crystals or rocks or things like that like like these are rose quartz These are for my friend in texas. She doesn't know that she's getting these and unless she's watching my video Which she probably isn't Um, she might be actually Hey, if you are sorry, I'm not going to send these to you in time for christmas You're going to get them in january But these are actually these are from a friend of mine to diane from if you guys are in new hampshire dover new hampshire Go to the oasis shop. It's called earth harmony wellness And if you're in dover new hampshire, she does in person temple work divine feminine work beautiful diane She's somebody I very much trust diane chalifare. I really trust her but she has a shop And all sorts of goodies supplies that you can use for your intuitive work for your healing journey For just inspirational connections. She's got card decks and incense and all that again the oasis shop in dover new hampshire and It's uh earth harmony wellness and you can order stuff from her on like you can call her and say Hey, do you have rose quartz or hey, do you have such and such incense and she'll ship to you as well She and the summer she has rock shows too, but these are I got these from her On my recent trip and I have some other stuff here Which I'm not going to show you because I think if my friend from taxes is watching She's going to see them and I don't want to show her the rest of them But I also sent you some stuff too, which is really freaking awesome. So you'll get that too. So Anyway, I want to say hello to the chat Hi, donna. Nice to see you. Hi, Irene. Thanks patty. Hey, deja. Nice to see you Hi, lisa Nice to see you two different lices in the chat that I see Nice to see you, um I'm also going to be I want you guys to know too just as a heads up that So I'm working with a friend of mine who also does virtual assistant work. Thank god. She's my friend So I got it in um, but she does she's a virtual assistant plus she does um marketing like um email marketing internet marketing stuff like that Web design stuff like that. She's freaking amazing and she's in Wisconsin actually And uh, so I see her in person. We're friends Uh, she's also a yogi. Anyway, so she Has been helping me every week with um getting my shit together organizing my stuff since my you know, brain isn't working so well And I got a lot of stuff on my plate But she she and I have been talking about um the things I'm going to offer for next year and how I'm going to frame my work And with you guys so there are going to be things at different price points to help you access right now The most upcoming one is in december On the 19th to celebrate that solstice the next day We're going to do, uh Inspiring psychic experience. I'm going to do it online. It'll probably be about 90 minutes long. Um, it's at least an hour It'll probably be about 90 minutes and Um, we'll do some spiritual stuff some and I will do psychic readings in that group That's fun. It's fun to do psychic readings as a group like have it be a thing. It's fun. That's when it's fun That's really when it gets fun, you know, that's not so deep and serious. It's like oh it can be fun And um, so you can join that it's only 40 dollars to be in that group and then you get a chance um Depends on how many people there are not everybody gets to ask questions But I try to get to everyone if I can if I have time, but I don't overdo it. So But it's a great experience. It's fun. It's only 40 bucks. I mean that's cheap, right? That's super affordable a great way to connect So i'm doing that in december and i'm going to try to keep doing that Into the new year, but there's going to be other things too that i'll be doing that Um, we'll be at different price points So you guys will be able to to to jump into that as well I'm also doing some mentoring. Um, I have one person who's actually in my chat right now Who is going to be um, somebody that I am kind of taken in and working with Gotta gotta put some investment into that next generation. She's a college student and Working with her to help give back and so that'll be awesome And yeah, I got some stuff that I want to do and share with you guys and so Yeah, I'm going to be working on ways that we can connect and free ways we can connect too so like I'm working on an email situation right now Um, so that I can connect with you once a month and give you some resources and stuff that you just get when you're on the email List just so you can have it if you want that, you know If that's your thing and you want to feel connected we can do that Just trying to figure out different ways to connect plus. I just started tiktok today on above live channel and tiktok I have one for um For me also for Um my kind of my experience my coming out experience and stuff. I have one for that as well, but Um, but yeah, I have one above live channel on tiktok. So you need to follow that if you're on tiktok. Okay, so all right, so that's my First part of my story. There's other things. Um That are coming up and coming through and then I'm going to be working on as they do and so that guilt energy um The sadness for feeling feeling bad that I didn't want to come back because that pain was so nice to not have And so to maybe answer a question like I would ask me this I'd be like, hey, so do you feel the pain again? Well I'm right on that tipping point or I'm I'm feeling like because I'm physically feeling better because the physical pain kind of took over for a while And I didn't feel any emotional pain like I even talked to some people that I like would Make me angry before And there's nothing There's like flat line nothing. So I was like, oh the physical pain is more present, right? Well now the emotional pain is starting to bubble up. I had an experience last week where I was like um And then an experience just the last couple days about the client thing with the refund and stuff And I'm like urr. So that kind of made me a little urr, you know And it didn't make me upset at first It made me upset when I found out that they went to somebody else. I was like, what? But then I'm like, well, it must be that's meant to be Because they don't want to coach anyway. They are more interested in like prince and Like celebrity more stuff. They're a nice person too by the way I mean, I'm not like I don't hate them or anything like that. I mean, it's not it's just It's just a timing thing maybe in a fit and maybe I'm just not a fit now You know, that might be what it is, but But it did trigger some anger which did help me. So that's kind of good. You know what I'm saying? That's good. It's not bad so All right, so thank you so much for being here. I know we've talked a really a long time and I didn't expect that Hey mackey nice to see you Lola nice to see you Let me just say hello to my Hi michigan. Hi Your husband had a triple bypass. Oh Oh triple bypass. That's tricky. Yeah He probably had this sternum thing too, huh? Oh, nice. I just somebody just called me bright and thank you for that. I appreciate that Thank you. Yeah Hey Thanks, sr. Appreciate you. Thank you for calling me bright and I appreciate that I have two names that I use right now. You guys My birth name is Bridget and the chosen name I've been using is Brighton Darrell nice to see you Hello Gail haven't seen you forever girl. Oh, shout out to that daddy in heaven My unfinished business, that's right. I need to teach now. I need to tell everybody when I know hey mj. Nice to see you my prince friend Hi, Gracie. Nice to see you You guys are awesome queen queen Hi, mike. Don't I say hi to mike anna I think I said hello to everybody And if you're watching on the replay, thank you so much. I appreciate you I know the holiday season is a big sometimes and I'm here for you We're here together And I'm going to show up as much as I can so the next couple days like tomorrow. I'm going to be at my the townhouse and I have uh, what do I have? I have I think I have a client too I can't remember if it's tomorrow or the next day And then I have I have some stuff the next two days But if I can get online, I will because I I want to connect and then I want to use tools and show you guys how to use tools like Card decks easy easy peasy lemon squeezy not complicated So we're going to start having some conversations like that, but I'm also going to teach people that want to be I i'm going to teach Um educate and share what I know I'm going to share what I know like not maybe some knowledge sessions or some wisdom circles something like that Where people can opt into that that's what I want to do I don't want to just assume everybody wants to know stuff because they don't sometimes they're just going to be here You're just going to be here for the celebrity channeling which I will do at least once a month I think is what I'm going to try to keep up on So you can still get that plus there's tons of content. There's so many playlists watch them. They're good and um Then we'll do some other stuff too. Plus I still got to do sunday morning coffee. I love that I love my podcast on sundays. Yesterday. I did not do Yeah This to be monday it is yesterday. I didn't do it because I just wasn't having a grand day yesterday wasn't I was really feeling Heavy energy and I just couldn't bring myself to Log on and take a shower and all that stuff So I just I just couldn't do it. So I give myself permission To not show up if I can't, you know, I'm gonna try but if I can I can't you guys I'm working on it All right, my dears. Thank you so much for being here. I hope I've inspired your spirit And filled you with some hope today encouraged you at least to live your life As I am here live in mine It's your life after all this is yours This one is yours And okay, I get it if your empathic heart is hurting I get it okay Let's soften some of that self doubt And that self criticism and that self sabotage Let's not be so mean Let's just breathe for a moment. Maybe go stand outside and get some fresh air Watch those crows Out in those trees Feel some kind of inspiration from something simple and beautiful and peaceful Just find it in a moment That's all it's about those little moments moment to moment to moment moment and breathe That's one really important thing I learned in the hospital was Breathe because they always said like when they were trying to take out like my main line thing from the You know the the thing that monitors the heart or whatever that was I think it was some on this side or this side I can't remember what side I was on I should remember because there's probably a big old hole or a big old There's probably a big old mark on it. I think it's on this side. Oh, yeah, it's over here. Oh, yeah, it's right here That was really it was really bruised for a long time and now it's just like a bump there, but um They would say take a breath in They're like, okay, exhale and as I exhale that's when they would pull it out Or that's when they would do something like with the the tubes in my belly a drain tubes that went to my blood box They said Okay, take a breath in All right exhale out and then when you're focusing on that You're feeling the sensation of your body moving, but you're not feeling them clip of that Little stitch and pull the stitch out, you know, they're not it's definitely a thing the breath does work Definitely does you guys? And do you remember that I said I'm not going to do celebrity channeling for Christmas Or Hanukkah or Kwanzaa or the holiday season right now for for december. I'm not going to do it, but in january I will So I'll do personal messaging again like I did last year and the year before member because I know you guys love that I am going to offer it. I promised you I would I am going to do it But it's not going to be till january. So it'll be a new year thing It'll give you some inspiration when you're starting to feel bummed out because it's january We'll do it then. Okay. So I promise there'll be some of that Okay, I don't know how many I'm going to be able to do this year. I know sometimes I'm like a machine I can do a lot, but we'll see. I don't know. I'm getting you know, I'm exercising. I'm building up my endurance. So we'll see but Thank you so much for being here you guys. I just absolutely look forward to connecting with you. I love it I love this I love above life channel and it turns out that it really does apply to this next stage of my life, doesn't it? above life Mm-hmm Oh, I have something funny to tell you I'm gonna end on this. Okay. I promise. So it's a disney reference So I said for a long time right after my surgery and up until like this last week I said I felt like buzz light year Because I could literally only turn like in one whole chunk like I couldn't move my arms like above my head I'm technically until 12 weeks not supposed to put them both above my head But I can because they feel it feels fine. It feels totally fine to do that for me So I can I can do that. I can't lift though like not 10 pounds yet, but But I used to feel like buzz light year because I could literally move like a big chunk like this whole body this whole big Shieldy part of my body felt like that and then I felt like there's just this little connection between My upper part of my body and my hips. You know what I mean? That's how it felt like buzz light year To infinity and beyond. Yeah, maybe that should be our new tagline Anyway funny I still have not solved the mystery of who sent me the big disney thing Somebody sent me a huge huge disney thing and I want to know who it was Like that's not something I just let go of I need to figure it out and if I can't if the person doesn't come forward I'm gonna have a psychic friend tell me who it is because they will be able to do that I just want to be able to say thank you guys I'm not gonna I don't have to call your name out or anything like that Just personally email me will you or something just please? I just want to say thank you. I promise I won't make a big deal of it I just really want to say thank you personally If I could hug you I would but as really sweet that was very very sweet So and they obviously it's somebody that knows me for sure. So That was awesome Hope we've inspired your spirit filled you with some hope encouraged you to live your life This is your life after all and you get to live it Please Live it Love you guys