 reading chapter five, and I was talking about the very difficult, challenging commandments of the Lord, Matthew 5 and verse 43 onwards. He says, you have heard that it was said, you shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy, but I say to you, love your enemies. Bless those who curse you, do good to those who, just a minute, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven, for he makes his son rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust, for if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors do the same, and if you greet your brethren only, what do you do more than others? Do not even the tax collectors do so, therefore you shall be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect. So as we look through these verses, the Lord is actually challenging the disciples, and he is saying that those who do not deserve our love, those who do not deserve our goodness, our good acts, those who do not deserve these things, seemingly deserve because of their actions, because of the way they live their life. The Lord is saying, do that exact thing, say, don't deserve your love, love them anyway, don't, you know, so he's saying bless, don't deserve the blessing, do not curse but bless them, pray for them. And he goes on to say, this is how the Father is, right, this is how the Father is, he sends rain on the just and on the unjust, makes the son rise on the evil and on the good. So when we do this, we are actually walking in the steps of our Heavenly Father, right, we are, in other words, we are being, we can say we are being Christ-like when we do this, right. And also, if we see that, if we see 46 verse 46, we see that the Lord is saying, you know, what reward have you, right, if you love only those who love, what reward do have you. In other words, he's saying there is a reward in walking, in being Christ-like, there is a reward in walking in the steps of the Heavenly Father, right. And it's a, it's not something that we can do in our own strength and we realize that it's, we cannot do it in our own flesh, but it is the work of the Holy Spirit to bring this about. It's a fruit of the Holy Spirit that is displayed in and through our lives in order to actually walk in this. And verse 48, you shall be perfect just as your Father in heaven is perfect. And the word used there, telaios, that you shall be brought to maturity. The Lord's desire is that we come to that maturity even as our Father in heaven is complete and mature. So, so you just wanted to read this and just challenge us as leaders, as people who are in ministry and who interact with people, there are many opportunities not to love, there are many opportunities to, to not bless people, right, because we, they, they do not always do say, behave the way that is appropriate, the way that is honorable and so on. We meet all kinds of people. And, but the Lord's challenge and command to us is this, Lord is saying, I say to you, it's like a direct instruction. You do this. There is a reward. You will be like your heavenly Father and you will be perfect. Right. So let's remember this. Even as we interact with people. Okay. Let's pray. Father, we thank you Lord for these, for this reminder, reminder to be like you, for this reminder that there is a reward in being like you. And Lord, it's your will and desire that we be perfect just as you are. And Lord, we ask for the work, the anointing, the work of your Holy Spirit in us to bring us to that place of maturity, bring us to that place of perfection God. And Lord, I pray that you would remind us Lord, even when we interact with people who do not deserve that you will, you will remind us that, that you actually poured out your grace when we did not deserve. And Father God, we pray that you will enable us to do this the right way. Lord, enable us to do it in a way that's, Lord, that's not of the flesh, but of the work of the work of your Holy Spirit, Lord, of the empowering and display Lord of your Holy Spirit. Father God, we thank you. We come at each one of us, Lord, struggling to do this, maybe Lord, struggling to walk in this manner. Lord, we come at each one of us into your mighty hands and we ask that, Lord, you will enable us, Lord, to perfectly represent to you, Lord, even as we interact with people, even as we lead people, Father God, we thank you. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen. Amen. Okay. Yes, so great, great. Okay. Yeah. So we've been looking at winning with people. I think the last section, we've come to the last section of winning with people, which is when it comes to winning with people, we look at it as something that is mutually beneficial. We can create a win-win relationship, something that's mutually beneficial, something that's a win for both, something that is rewarding for both. And that is something that we can work at, we can look at. So we're going to look at a few principles with regards to that. How can we actually create a win-win relationship? Because when it comes to leadership, when it comes to leading people, yes, there are times when we want to get the tasks done and most times we get the tasks done and that is time-bound. It could be a typical ministry setting, it could be a service, it could be a special meeting, it could be an outreach, whatever, things are time-bound. And so how can it be a win for others as well? We know that we cannot do things in isolation, we can't do things alone and it requires people. So how can it be a win for others as well as it can be for us? So like Stephen Covey puts it like this, let me just share that. A win-win is a frame of mind and heart that constantly seeks mutual benefit in all human interactions. Win-win is based on the paradigm that there is plenty for everybody that one's success is not achieved at the expense or exclusion of the success of others. It's a paradigm, it's a big shift. So this win-win is based on that big shift in thinking, a big shift in the way we do things, the way we interact, that on the understanding that one's success does not have to deprive the success or the well-being of another person. Sure, there's sacrifice both ways. Sure, there are things to be done which require greater effort, maybe success, responsibility, all that, but it need not deprive the other person of success. It need not deprive the other person of one's well-being. So that's the win-win mindset. But to be honest, like John C. Maxwell mentions, he just calls to attention that there are some good relationships, there are bad relationships. There are some people with whom we want to spend time, we'd love to spend time, and we want to just be there with them. And there are some people with whom we want to avoid, whom we want to, we just want to do the basic minimum as much as possible and then move on. So what separates the two relationships? What is it that separates? And he talks about synergy, where the sum of the parts is greater than the whole. Synergy, where everybody working together and contributing and doing things, it brings about synergy and where everybody's individual contribution put together is exponential. It brings about a big win for the body and for the corporately and also for each person. So it is rewarding, it brings value to the individual as well. So it talks about that. In creating a win-win relationship, there is something that somebody receives even as they give. And the thing is this, when we strive for a win, when we strive for achieving a particular goal, the reward for each person, maybe in the team or maybe just two people, the reward could be very different. So it talks about the currency which the person receives or the reward that the person receives might be very different. For example, one could be mentoring the other person and in return, the person is not receiving the same thing. The one who's being mentored is just able to maybe give gratitude. And probably the other, the one who's actually mentoring receive that gratitude and the satisfaction of seeing somebody being mentored and brought to a higher level than maybe even possibly than where they are right now. Where the person who's mentoring, the mentor himself is right now, go beyond the mentor. So there is satisfaction and the gratitude. Well, that's the reward in itself. That's a win-win. So it need not be the same thing. So there are some four principles that John C. Maxwell talks about. So he talks about the boomerang principle and talks about the friendship principle, the partnership principle and the satisfaction principle. So let's just look at these. We've been looking at various principles and these are based on wisdom. These are based on you know, if you look at it deeply, it's based on scripture. Though it doesn't normally, you know, there's no chapter of verse that is quoted for these things. But so as we look at these things, it's good to go back and, you know, to just refer to it from time to time, you know, as leaders. Maybe you want to look at some of the laws of leadership and we're going to be looking at teamwork, maybe look at the laws of teamwork. Since these are practical things, you know, when we find ourselves in a position of leadership, or maybe we are, you know, working towards that, it's good to refer to these things from time to time, right? Go over this and refer to it and it can be very enriching because in different seasons of leadership, we find that, okay, we are able to relate to these things far better. Maybe when we started off, these things, these principles seemed like, well, concepts or theories, which we could not relate to. To some extent, we could relate to but not that much. But then in a different season of leadership, we're able to relate to it because of the experience and because of the, you know, the situation that we find ourselves in, the challenges that we find pace ourselves, right? So just wanted to encourage us to do that, right? Even after we finish the course and move on to really refer to it from time to time. Okay, so the boomerang principle, it's based on, you know, what we call as the boomerang, right? I think everyone knows what a boomerang is. It's actually an Australian, indigenous Australian weapon. Actually, let me see if I can pull out a picture. So it's something that goes around, okay, let me just share that with you. Oops, where are we? Okay, okay, just a quick share. Okay, so you see that it's like an angled piece of wood. You release it, it goes and it comes back. Okay, so it is used as a weapon, used as a toy and basically it just returns and it's thrown in such a way that it goes, it reaches a particular point and then it comes back. So yeah, so that's about it. It's a simple thing. So the boomerang principle is what you release coming back, okay, what you give coming back. Okay, so in other words, when we help others, we are actually helping ourselves. Okay, so it's not that we want ourselves to be helped and that's why we help others, no, but just a simple observation that when we actually help others, we are helping ourselves, right? So that's the principle. Okay, so when we add value to people, okay, so John C. Maxwell says that by experience, when he added value to people, he saw that many actually wanted to add value to him. Okay, so when we say adding value, maybe you see somebody who's doing things, who's working, maybe who's struggling to say in a work situation, struggling to do certain things, struggling to solve certain things, solve a problem maybe and then you add value to it by probably giving them a tool. A simple thing would be like maybe if a carpenter and he's doing something, you give him a tool, like give him a hammer, a better hammer, maybe a better, maybe instead of a hammer, you're giving him a power tool, something that can actually drive nails in and something that can, something like a power tool, you're handing that to the person and so it's a better tool to get the job done in a shorter time and more efficiently. So the person is, there's value that you've added to the work of that person. Okay, so he says that in his experience and his observation that when he added value to people's lives in that manner and typically in ministry, maybe it's God Day Council, maybe it's support, maybe it's prayer, maybe just being there as a source of comfort or all that, that people desire to add value back to them, to him, right? So that's what he, that's what he saw. So, but you know, he says there are three kinds of people, okay? There are three kinds of people when it comes to this and we just need to be mindful of, okay? And what are those? One, okay, that there are takers and who never give, you know, it seems contradictory to the previous statement that when you add value to people that well, people, most people desire to add value back, right? But there are also different kinds of people, maybe different levels of maturity and so on. So there are takers who want to take and who focus on themselves maybe because of whatever they've gone through, whatever lack they have, whatever insecurities so they receive and they never give and they are never satisfied, okay? They are always concerned about what they can get in life, they receive and they never give back. They are not in a position to give back and they're not having that mindset to give as well because they're always concerned about themselves. Then the other thing, the other set of people could be, is what he calls as traders, okay? So traders typically, so they receive and they want to do an exchange and it has to be a proper exchange so they receive and they are actually ones who are keeping score, right? So they receive and they say, okay, this is how much I received so therefore I need to give back so much, okay? So it's an exchange so they need not initiate the giving or initiate the adding value they receive and then in proportion of what they think as, okay, in proportion to this I want to give back, okay, so traders and then we have investors, okay, we have investors so investors give and then they receive, okay? So they are focused on others, they give and they receive if they get something in return, the investors know that, okay, there could be a return now, there could be a return later and they're not so much as concerned about the return or when and how it'll happen but they are concerned about the investment, they want to invest. So these are, they understand that people are of value, they understand, they embrace the boomerang principle that comes around when they are investing and actually helping them in many ways, right? So they do that. So some of the things that investors do and this is what they sow and this is what they reap. So three things, right? It could be the return could be in terms of something that's financial worth. So it could be what I call the valuables, things that provide financial worth when people think about receiving something in return for giving thoughts often turn to material, so it's material benefits. It could be in terms of values or things that bring fulfillment to us. So what are these? It could be maybe emotionally, it could be spiritually, right? We feel that it need not be something material, right? It need not be something material but just the satisfaction of having help someone, okay? So talks about values or something that is spiritually fulfilling, something that is emotionally fulfilling, right? So it adds to us, it benefits us in that ways, in those ways. And thirdly, it could be virtues, okay? So valuables, values and talks about virtues, things that actually develop character, build character. So every time we overcome that, overcome that, you know, that pool or overcome that desire to hold back, overcome the desire to think about the self, right? To be focused on the self. Every time we overcome that and do something for others, now we are actually building character, right? We are breaking certain things in us and we are building certain things in us and we are going beyond our comfort zone. We are going overcoming the pull of the flesh and so that's developing character. So we receive something in return in these ways. It could be valuable, it could be material worth. It could be where people say, okay, I just want to do this. I perceive so much so therefore I want to and that could be, that could be very minimal, right? It need not be always, you know, someone who's blessing, you know, that's fine. And also secondly, it could be values and thirdly, it could be things that build character in us, so virtues, right? So this is what people do. So when we invest in others, when we in line with this, what do we call as the boomerang principle, when we invest in others, we put others first, that is what we saw, when just getting ready to, you know, even interact, getting ready to build relationship with people, that is what we saw, you know, putting others first. And it's good to focus on what we are investing in rather than the return. Okay, what is it? Like, how are we investing? Is it a wholehearted? Is it something of quality, something of value that we are bringing in? Something even that is demanding, like from our side? So that's the, we focus on the investment and not just the return. And also when we are investing, the Bible talks about it, Paul writes and he says, you know, commit these to faithful people, he's talking about the teachings, he's talking about, you know, the precepts and everything that come with these words to faithful people who are able to teach others. So what does that mean? That means that, well, when it comes, when it happens to investing, and we need to invest in a strategic manner, Paul says, you know, commit these to faithful people. So we find out the faithful people who are committed, people who are faithful, and who also have the ability. Okay, so sometimes when it comes to, you know, not all investing, not all efforts, but when it comes to certain things, maybe like a mentoring, maybe like a discipling kind of a relationship, right? So we do this in a strategic manner, right? And also, it helps that you're not, like, doing this for others who do not have an interest in, who do not have an inclination, right? So we do this in a strategic manner. So we also need to understand that when we, in, with regard to the Boomerang principle, if we want to give, or if you want to invest, it requires their yes, like, whoever it is that we're talking specifically about, not just being about friendly, about being kind, about doing good to others, and we're talking specifically about investing in people, right? Adding value to people's lives in a focus manner, in a strategic manner, that requires their permission. So we cannot do against their will. We cannot do, you know, against their permission, against their consent. So if they are very indifferent, or totally not responsive or unwilling to even learn or go through the whole thing, then there's no point, right? So we need the consent. We need the buy-in of the person to actually even start, right? And there will be a return, because that's what the Boomerang principle says. There will be a return. And the return may not be, you know, in ways that we kind of visualize, or in the timeline that we have, but there will be a return, right? So because there is the sowing and there is the reaping. So there will be a return. And actually in ways that we can, we cannot imagine ways by which our investment, maybe of time, maybe of effort, whatever help, the mentoring, the recycling that we do, we cannot just imagine the kind of impact that it will have on people and the kind of impact that the others, other people can have on others, right? So talks about the story of, you know, Helen Keller, the author, the lecturer. So she was blind. She was deaf. And because of that, early stages, she was extremely, extremely temperamental because she was blind. She was deaf, very frustrated going up and, you know, with pro-things and pantherms and if you read through her life. But there was this lady, Ann Sullivan. Okay. And Helen Keller was just seven years old when Ann Sullivan started taking care of her. And she was, it was very extremely difficult. But Ann Sullivan with her patience and firmness enabled her to communicate. And well, I don't know the too much of the details of it, but really helped to pull through. And Helen Keller went on to study, receive a degree and started to write, became a famous author, so on, right? But the thing is that Ann Sullivan, really, it took something out of her, but she saw the need and went on to invest, right? And the return was, of course, to see Helen Keller blossom into a person that was previously not thought possible, that she was, her life was going to be a complete waste, when she would not, you know, she would not be even able to understand and forget learning, but even understand basic things, but and Ann Sullivan actually helped to overcome all those challenges, right? And the thing is, when Ann Sullivan reached an age and health condition where she could not take care of herself, many years later, it was Helen Keller who actually stepped in and who cared of her, right? So it just comes around. It's basic, you know, principle. So when it comes to a win-win relationship, understand that it will come around. So it will help, we will be helped as well, but let that not be the focus, but the focus to bring value to invest in others and over a period of time see the life changed, right? So we look at the Boomerang principle. Okay, let's look at one more, which is what John C. Maxwell calls as a friendship principle. So it's simply this, that people will work with people they like, okay? And if things are tough, they will still continue to work. In other words, he puts it like this, let me just share that. So this is all things being equal, people will work with people they like, and all things not being equal, they still will, okay? Meaning that there are certain things that people will do, you know, maybe it's a formal work relationship, maybe it's, you know, it is to stretch, go beyond what is actually required. It is maybe, you know, there are certain, the environment is not really conducive, but people will still go that extra mile and do it simply because you're their friend. Okay, so the question to ask is, am I a friend to the people whom I work with? So the thing is this, we sometimes think that, okay, if I'm being a friend to those whom I work with, to those who I, you know, I lead, then they will take advantage, okay, they will take advantage. So being a friend does not mean that you hold back from correction. Being a friend does not mean that you don't speak the truth. Being a friend does not mean that you, you know, you affirm with what the boundaries are. Being a friend does not mean any of that, being a friend does not mean that you give yourself to be exploited or you allow yourself to be a doormat. It's not, it's not that. So that's being a, this is being a bad example of how one can be a friend. So, so being a friend is, so let's look at that, right? So the thing is that people will, will help, people will go beyond their, maybe the regular working hours go beyond the nine to five, go beyond what is their job description. Okay, so they will not say, okay, this is not my responsibility, right? When it comes to certain pressure, critical situations, critical, you know, critical circumstances that requires, you know, maybe deadlines, people will go beyond what is, what they, you know, what is actually expected of them, simply because of friends. And looking into our own lives, I'm sure that, you know, you can think of certain things that people have done, you know, for you because, because you're a friend, or maybe some things that you have done, because, you know, they are your friends, right? Maybe you, it was uncomfortable situations, maybe it was, you know, something that, that is, you know, that even required you to do something foolish, but you did it because, because of the friend, right? So things that we need to understand is that, you know, something that John C. Maxwell says that real friends are, yes, in the sense, you know, when it comes to real friendship, let's face it, the reality is that there are not many of them. Okay, there are not many who, well, if you have many, that's, it's fantastic. Many, many real good friends, that's great. Let's say something about you, and something about, you know, about the others as well. But the fact is that real friends are scarce, there are not too many of them. But also, that real friends are refreshing, they bring refreshing into our lives, not only do they correct, not only do they, you know, do they speak the truth, which can be uncomfortable at times, but they are also refreshing. Right. So their shared experience, shared challenges, shared memories, and they, well, real friends are refreshing. And real friends also make us better, right? They add value, they better our lives, they bring change, they make our lives better. Okay. And the faithfulness of a friend is definitely something that we cannot, we cannot take for granted. Okay, so they make our lives better and they are faithful, right? Here's the thing that we need to understand. Look, in order to be a friend to others, okay. Now, we cannot, it is true that we cannot develop a deep friendship with everyone. Okay. So we don't even have to try to be that. Okay. Because a deep friendship requires time, requires, and it is for some, not all. And it's humanly not possible to be deep, not to have deep friendships with each and everyone that we meet or interact with. We will spread ourselves thin. There's, you know, we cannot do that, right? So we don't even have to try. Definitely, you know, we should cultivate genuine deep friendships with a few. Okay. Because it's going to take time, it's going to take effort, it's going to take investment. So we can definitely cultivate, right? The whole garden principle, when you look at that, we can cultivate with a few people. Okay. And definitely, we can be friendly, kind. We can be supportive and compassionate, kind, gracious to everyone that we meet. So we just see those three, these things, you know, to everyone. Definitely, we can be kind, we can be compassionate, we can be supportive, we can be friendly, right, to everyone. To everyone. And there are a few with whom we can actually develop, cultivate genuine friendships, right? So we need to understand that. Okay. So the thing is that how do we do this is that every person that we meet, you know, normally, let's say, if you're in business, you know, we, and especially if it's, let's say, you know, not too, not too long ago, there was this multi-level marketing place, right? Because we had products like Amway and other things. So people viewed another, you know, people would have had a tendency to just view another person as a business target, right? They are part of the network. So they are, you know, you see them as potential, whatever, customers or part of that chain, network chain. And every person, you know, that is how, you know, it could, it could, it could actually view, right? Now, or if it's some kind of business, you see every person as a potential customer, you see every person as, so you don't see them, you know, the, I mean, well, that could be true. The flip side, the negative side of it is that you don't see them as individuals. You don't see them. We fail to see them as people who are persons of dignity and value and worth. And we see them only as, okay, what we can get, right? So that's a danger. And also when it comes to, when it comes to ministry, let's say church ministry or maybe evangelism, we can make the same mistake. There's a danger in what they can give me, what they can bring in. And it seems noble in the sense, okay, church growth, right? We look at church growth in terms of numbers and, you know, so we see each person as adding the growth of the church. And while that is true, they make people, it is people who are the church. And well, we should focus on building the church of God. But the fact is that we are actually building, going beyond the numerical and we are looking at building lives. There's nothing wrong in the numbers, the quantity, because the whole idea behind that is that we need to reach out to the nations. So, which means more, more people. But the fact is that these are lives, individual lives. When we lose focus of that, then the whole thing, you know, becomes a wasteful exercise, right? We are just focusing on numbers, we're just not looking at them as God's creations, as people, as individuals. So, that's the thing. So, if we put, if we look at people as individuals, and then we look at people as people with needs, and then we look at everything else second, then we are actually practicing the friendship principle. Okay. So, excuse me. So, this is, so we just need to keep that in mind that we can be friendly. We can be, you know, can I be friendly to maybe in a secular work setting? Can I be, you know, can I be friends with people with whom, who are reporting to me? Definitely, we can. We can be friendly. We can be kind. We can be courteous. You know, we can be all that. And at the same time, be firm and share, communicate what is expected, and the consequence of, you know, not meeting or not reaching those expectations over a period of time, etc. So, it can definitely be work. It can definitely be put to practice. Okay. So, that's, those are the two things. So, any questions here, before we move on to two other principles, any questions. So, we looked at the Mumburang principle and we looked at the friendship principle. Any questions, any experiences that you would like to share? See, many times we look at these things and then in our minds we're like, okay, you know, if I do this, if I'm nice, then people take advantage. Or if I'm, if you look at the scripture portion that we just read, right at the beginning of the class, Matthew 5, and, you know, the last few verses of that chapter. See, he said that if I love, continue to love someone who was not, you know, reciprocating, then I'm, then I'm being a weak person, right? But that's not how the Lord sees us. There is great strength in actually loving the unlovable, right? There is great strength in praying for those who are persecuting and so on. So, so the question that arises to us is, how will this work, right? Can this actually work? In the real world, the quote-unquote real world, can this work? Well, the fact that these are there in the word of God and this is truth, which is powerful, is that it does work. That this triumphs over the works of the enemy, right? With triumphs over the works of the flesh, right? And so, and these are investments and this, these have returns, right? So, so we need to look at it that way and be convinced of it, right? So, and, and not hold back from actually applying it in our lives and applying it the right way. And many times this, these things do not work or these are seem not to work or seem not to be successful because we've not applied it in the right way, right? Even loving others, you know, we apply it in the wrong way and then we leave the consequences of it, right? So, the Moon Rank principle, the Friendship principle definitely work in when it comes to win-win relationships, creating win-win relationships. But these need to be applied in the right way, right? Okay. So, no, any questions? If there are no questions, we'll take a break and then we'll come back and, and resume. Okay.