 There's only one reason why the narcissist comes back. That's what we're gonna be talking about in this one Welcome again everyone my YouTube family to another one live in this beautiful park So yeah, there's only one reason Why narcissists come back but first let's talk about what happened with you Because first they idealized you they saw you as perfect in that moment. There was nothing wrong with you You were everything that they wanted Everything that they had been waiting for And they may have even told you that as well. I Mean you got to think about it like this The way that they came to you they had a lot of eagerness and enthusiasm They were really on you It was clear that they wanted to What I wouldn't say no you But they wanted to be a part of your life Even though they may have seen it as something temporary They showed up they were there They were present physically present at least Because as we know with narcissists, they're never really there They're there, but they're not there We get the point is But they made some level of effort And people don't meet and make an effort unless they want something Otherwise they would have just left you alone. They wouldn't have got involved. They never would have been there to begin with but they were there and They idealized you in that moment. They saw you as perfect In that moment you were everything that they wanted everything that you've been waiting for And then it's like all of a sudden Whoop they start devaluing you They start putting you down They start making you feel like you're nobody and nothing. You're not good enough Why do they start doing that? How can they go from idealizing you to suddenly devaluing you and of course The reason why It's because they're actually very insecure And the reason why they're insecure is because they have no sense of self They have no inner sense of value And that is why as you may notice when they begin to devalue you It's all about discrediting you trying to change who is a person Trying to distort your identity Trying to make you believe that you're not who you say you are And you've got to think Where did that come from? Why do they all of a sudden start picking you apart? Making you feel like you're not who you actually are as a person and the reason why Is because when they get around you It may be other people as well, but especially you You completely destabilize them and their reality You make them feel like a frauds A corn artist and so they're not actually who they are Of course the reason how you're able to do that Is because they're not who they say they are And that's why they feel so insecure around you Because that person that they portray themselves to be in the beginning That wasn't even them They give you a false character and they want you to validate that They want you to validate the illusion But who you are is actually who you are And that's the whole point. That's why I begin with it in a lot of situations They have to start a spear campaign and force a lot of flying monkeys They have to do that because Just one person coming around you that's not going to be enough to destabilize you You have a very strong identity You know exactly who you are You know your values. You know what you stand for You know all of these things So of course it's going to take a lot of people to destabilize you But for them it took just you And you may have destabilized Not only them but everyone they knew as well all of their fake family members and friends Because just you being you it's the choice one a empath You are One of the realest You are a chose one an empath You're a real person You're grounded from within you have a core sense of self A stable identity Which is something that they don't have And that's how they're always going back and forth between the idealization and the devaluation When they're idealizing you it doesn't last for long And even when they're devaluing you it's not long until they go back to idealizing you again And seeing you as a worthy target as a worthy source of validation Because their reality is not fixed it's liable to change at any moment depending on their feelings which can change from one moment to the next Well for you it's more about logic and reason And not to forget that their feelings are low vibrational as well They're not operating in the in the high vibrations Which as we know or as I've mentioned before that does That does supersedes logic and reasoning as well as the true reality but the point that I'm getting to is that In the beginning they did feel validated by you you validated farce character and the illusion that they were trying to portray But then as time went by Cracks began to show and they couldn't keep up the raft anymore. They couldn't sustain it Because there's only so much attention that you can give to them So at some point it began to fall apart And that is when they began to turn against you Because you made them feel imperfect you made them feel flawed You caused them to reflect on the fact that they're not who they said they were Because that's the thing This just all exists in their minds It's all just the fantasy inside their heads that they try to pull you into And they had you in the beginning They managed to pull you into that But then Of course at some point You assume that if this is real This is actually who you are if this is authentic Then These things that you are saying these lies this future faking This should actually eventually lead to actual actions and behaviors in reality If you are real If you are actually who you say you are Then at some point this should manifest this should come into fruition As you wait around for a certain amount of time and eventually you just start getting bored You become disinterested because it's like If you are actually who you say you are Then why is why isn't this happening? And that's when you begin to invalidate them You invalidate the fantasy that they've created inside their heads And this is a fantasy that they have been following their entire lives so that they've really got So of course when that falls apart it's like they have nothing And that's why they will hold on to it for their lives Because in that moment it is like life or death to them the fantasy is all that they have So that's why they turn against you that's why they begin devaluing you And then at some point They just they drain everything you've got They drain the life that you Until you're completely beaten down you've got nothing more to give And then they just see you as garbage that it's ready to throw you away They treat you with contempt and in that moment you are worthless Because you've seen them as they actually are Maybe you've confronted them exposed them And then that's when they may possibly idealize someone else and see them as perfect And especially if that person is an assist as well Then they're able to feed this fantasy back to each other But essentially it's like Two different fantasies and two separate heads. They never really connect because as we know they're lacking empathy So they can't experience a deep emotional connection like you can But anyway, yeah, they go off into that Into this new situation But then they realize Hold on a minute Something is missing Something's not right There's something that's Not here In this new situation But it was there in the previous one and although some of us Might like to foolishly believe that it's this Spark this chemistry This magic It's really not that at all Because they can't perceive of that they can't receive that from you And they can't give that to you either Even when you're thinking that they are You're just entertaining this fantasy. It's not even real Because they like empathy They have an inability to share your feelings and experience. They can't feel what you feel They can't connect to you If they could then they never would have hurt you to begin with So what that actually is that thing that's missing in this new situation that is The validation Because real validation That comes from reality And the validation that they're getting in this new situation That's actually false validation. It's not even real Because it's not based on any It's not based on anything that exists in reality Or even if it is It's not coming from the true reality. It's coming from a fantasy in someone else's head It's not generated from within So that's really what they're missing in the next situation But that's not The whole reason of why they come back I mean it may seem like they're validation junkies Like they're hooked on your validation They need you to validate the false self Whether it's to make them feel desirable and attractive or Important whatever it may be But the reality is what they actually want Is power and control Yes, they want to feel powerful and they want to feel in control And it may seem like they want to have power over you And they want to be in control of you But in actuality that is just a mirage That's a means to an end. The only reason why they're doing that Is because they're trying to gain power over their own false character They're trying to remain in control of their false reality through you Because Not only do you become a threat to the false character and the illusion But you are also the one person in that environment Who does have the ability to validate it And just think about that for a moment Because by existing in the true reality Not only are you generating the power and energy to validate it I make them think that it's real in that moment But you are also the greatest threat to it At the same time But many of you don't even realize your power In that when they are manipulating you they're pulling you into this illusion You can switch it up whenever you choose to and you can be the greatest threat to that illusion And many of you don't even realize that Many of you don't even know it But that is the truth It's just you're so focused in that moment on How can I be Who and what they want me to be How can I give them exactly what they want in this moment? Because you're an empath and that's how we think We're more focused on resolutions Conclusions Just resolve and the reason for that is because we have this inner sense of peace We feel whole and complete We feel in harmony with ourselves Well as for the Nazis they have this inner state of conflict They're at war with themselves And that is what they then project on to us But with us we don't project this inner harmony onto them Projection is more just about the bad bad parts of ourselves the negative aspects So what we're doing is we are idealizing them And we were trained to do that from the very beginning To see them as though there's nothing wrong with them But in actuality This is not only false but it couldn't be further from the truth I mean if there's anyone who is completely flawed More than anyone more than anything else in this world It has to be the narcissist They are the furthest thing away from perfect And in fact When they idealize us We are far more closer To that idea or concept of perfection Than they will ever be in their entire lives And that is the reality of it And they do idealize us Then they devalue us they go back and forth It's a cycle But yeah the reason why they come back is for the power and control They're trying to re-establish power with a false character And to control the illusion through you But of course to do that they have to impose these false characters onto you as well They have to pull you into this illusion Into this fantasy world that exists in their minds But you can't get pulled into that as you actually are Who you are cannot exist in their worlds That's not even possible You have to be a character that they impose upon you So initially they idealize you as something that they deem to be perfect But then later on they will devalue you and project all of their negative aspects onto you And it's all about power and control That's all that they're trying to do Is have power over their false character Which they gain through manipulating Coercing or controlling you And it's to control the illusion It's to direct and influence your behavior To then dictate the course of events That's what they're trying to do And they use you as a vessel They manipulate and conduct this through you To create this orchestration So it's all a show And we're all just objects Even they view themselves as an object as well And as well as objects we are also mirrors to reflect back to them How they want to see and feel about themselves And that's all that it is There is never any connection You may have thought that you connected to this person But you never did They never even knew who you actually were In the beginning they idealized you And then later on they devalued you By projecting these negative parts about themselves onto you So they never actually see who you are And you never actually see who they are Because there's no one even there All that it is Is a false character A concoction of bits and pieces that they've Assumed to be desirable in other people Which they have then brought together To create this character And that's why in their minds they think that it's perfect That is at least until they meet you And that's why they do everything that they do You just gotta look at it like this Why do they manipulate Why do they deceive Why do they intimidate and coerce you Why can't they just let you be as you are And why can't they just be as they are Why are they so insecure that they have to gas like you And then later on they have to Start a spear campaign and enforce the flying monkeys on you Why do they have to do all of that If they're confident in themselves and who they are And also if you're already so bad If you have no value Then why do they have to devalued you Where are they getting this value from If you're fake and you're not who you say you are If that was the case They wouldn't even need to discredit you Just like how we Never really feel the need to discredit or expose them Because it's like It's pretty obvious You could just see how they are I mean that's enough evidence as it is They're completely crazy They're completely unstable They're out of their minds, they're out of control So it's self-evident But for us it's not self-evident Because We are actually who we say we are And that is why They really just go on a campaign And even before that In the relationship It's just these non-stop Acts of destabilization And think about that as well Why do they have to destabilize you I mean if you Were already destabilized And you didn't have any foundation In your character What is there to destabilize To begin with So you can see how contradictory It really is It doesn't add up It doesn't make any sense So the reality is that they actually Felt threatened by you Because they're insecure In themselves And if they went through the same Process as you did In the relationship The idealization, the devaluation All of the things that they said And did to you They wouldn't have a leg to stand on They wouldn't know what to do That's why they are the way that they are That's why they're so manipulative And controlling That's why they've always got to be Two steps ahead of you They've always got to predict what you're going to do next They even try to predict What you're going to think or feel next Of course they can't read your mind What predators do Is they scan your facial expressions Body language into a voice It's very easy for them to do Because there's an empath You express yourself naturally You're not able to control your emotions Because that's just who you naturally are And you wear your heart and your sleeve So they've always got the advantage with you Because with them It's a false character You never really know where they stand But for you You're just You just are who you are So it's very easy for them to read you And to predict what you're going to do To always be two steps ahead of you Because you are real It's very easy to predict What a real person Is Real person Is going to say or do next Well as for a fake person They could be capable of anything You never know You never know what they're going to do next And that's why They're so unpredictable That's why they do things That you never suspected them to do That's how they manage to catch you off guards And especially with The arrogance, grandiosity I mean they say and do things With such conviction As though it's their religion It's their faith It's what they believe in And this is how an artist says It's managed to brainwash so many people Because it's that Convection, that belief As though they really believe what they are saying When really what they're trying to do Is they're trying to train you To get this onto you To get you to accept it As being real, as being true The reason why they've got to do that Is because they're actually very insecure About it themselves That's why they're so grandiose That's why they're so arrogant And imposing That's why they have to force it onto you Because they're very insecure About it themselves Otherwise they wouldn't need to force it They wouldn't even need it to happen at all They do because they're very insecure about it Just got you at this Cat here that I noticed I come here to see these cats I do miss my Nala She's in Malaysia now Haven't seen her for a few months But yeah, everything they do is just to keep you inside your own head Because by doing that That's how they're able to control you They don't want you to be centered in your In your body And in your spirit Because then you have control over yourself The last thing he asks us once Is for you to have control over yourself Where you're able to govern yourself And conduct yourself appropriately They don't want you to do that Because they want power and control over you Yeah, at the same time They would use that to discredit you And make you feel like you're not who you are Here's the thing they'd ever even give you the space To be who you are Because they don't want you to be you You are a threat to them To their false character To their illusion And yet how many times Have you given them space to be themselves And yet they could never Be that They could never show up And the reason why Is because there is no one there to Show up They don't even exist And as I've said before And I hate to say it again but this is the truth And I wish it wasn't the truth But I've done the research And the reality is that Most people in this world Are narcissistic Or they have some type of personality disorder Or mental illness Only one to two percent of the world's population Are empaths And it's only empaths Who really have that true core identity Within It's only empaths who really have that Affect of empathy That ability to connect Not only to themselves but to another person as well You cannot connect to another person If you don't first connect to yourself And as we know narcissists cannot connect to themselves They're outwardly focused They're always looking at everyone else For their cues, for their validation To know what they're going to do or say next And when you realise that It's like what hope have you got In connecting or Establishing anything with them That this person can't even connect with themselves All they can do Is try to brainwash you And make you into this Porn in their chess game Where you're just This object In their alternate reality Because that's all that they really want for you Otherwise you're only ever going to be a threat To their alternate reality And to their false character And that's why They always have to intimidate And coerce you That's why they're always so Suffocating And all-encompassing The reason for that is because they're actually very insecure About themselves Their actions and behaviours And their justifications For why they do what they do So that's why they're always trying to suffocate you They're always trying to contain And domesticate you They're always trying to trap you And enslave you like an animal To where they just can't let you get away They can't let you be independent They can't let you be your own self Because that is a serious threat To them And their illusion And that's why they hate your independence They hate your individuality They just hate anything about you But even then It's not so much that they hate you They actually just hate themselves And they project their own self-hatred onto you As I've said before As we're then so without A person can only give you what they've got That's how a person treats you As a direct reflection of how they feel about themselves But when they come back In some ways, yes They're seeking validation But it's not the validation that you might think It's nothing to do with connection It's not because they love or miss you It's got nothing to do with that at all What it has got to do with Is that They are trying to gain power and control over you Because they use you as a vessel As an object in their external reality To validate their false character and the illusion And that's all that you're really used for You have no other purpose than that In their reality This is why they're also very jealous Possessive and controlling That they feel like you're getting away I mean, it's crazy how As soon as you begin to move on As soon as you begin to heal They can immediately sense it That you are pulling away energetically They can sense That you are no longer validating Their false character And the false reality They can sense that immediately Because They have control Over this Fake world that they've created in your mind Which they are also connected to as well They've attached themselves to that Because this is an extension Of the fake world that exists In their minds And so they want to filter that Through you So that they can continue to get this validation And maintain power And control over you Which then allows them to maintain power And control over their false character And their False reality And that's how they can sense it As soon as you pull away energetically They know it They know when you're gone And that's typically when they will come When they will come back I know I'm stuttering a lot in this video I'm trying to maintain my composure As much as I can But with the smear campaigns and the gang Stalking it does take me off balance A lot But I'm trying my best But yeah, everything they do Is designed to destabilise you Because you are the chosen one You are the empath And your reality is the true reality It's one part of the same car you With the exact same colour So I got confused Minds you But yeah this is just how it is And it's always been this way Every chosen one They Have always been targeted By a large group of people I mean there's so many prophets of God Of course the most famous is Jesus And if you really look At his story it's very much the same To what we go through With narcissists And with smear campaigns and gang Stalking as well But yeah this is why they do what they do And they come back for validation It's really just power And control over you Because you act as a mirror To reflect back to them How they want to see and feel about themselves Which automatically That's going to be fake because they're not Generating it from within But yeah I'd like to hear from you Let me know what you think about what I've said In the live chat down below Let me know if you have any questions Or read them out and respond to it Just looking through the live chat here Amar says You look like you could just house a carton of eggs Bro, Jackie says F Jesus Canadian president says bro don't compare yourself To Jesus that's called the God complex That's just a quick scroll Through the live chat I'm sure all of these weird comments Have been going on for a while I mean just play back the live Video Basically just confirms everything That I've already said Why narcissists do what they do And that includes trolls and haters as well But also I do have many other videos as well I've got about 3,500 videos on this channel Especially check out Narcissists or haters That's a really good one that goes into detail About why they hate And why they are the way that they are Carmen Carmen asks What do they even gain out of it By doing all of this Yeah I understand I mean of course From our brains And our perspective It's like why even bother Why even waste your time Why not just be normal Why not just have a normal relationship A normal connection Of course the reason why is because they can't And even if they could They would just use that as manipulation as well The reality is that they experience a lot of Abuse and neglect in their childhoods And they were never the same after that They don't even have the ability To love or to connect They never learned empathy Affect of empathy at least So they have An inability to feel What another person feels But if you look at their behaviour It's really self evident I mean just put yourself in their shoes You couldn't say or do The things that they do to another person Because you would immediately feel bad It would hurt you as well It doesn't do that for them Because they lack effective empathy Which really confirms the statistics That only 1-2% of the world's population Are empaths It really just confirms that And it's really sad I wish the world wasn't this way I wish we were all empathic But we have to accept the reality We have to accept it Otherwise we're going to continue To be tricked and fooled So we really do have to just accept that For what it is All the crazy comments in this live chat It's mad It's interesting though I never noticed these comments before They really just begun back in March or April last year Before that there were really not many Trolls at all But now at this point There's more negative comments than anything else I guess there is a reason though Where they put these comments on here Because it's like As an empath myself A lot of us are empaths here And naturally where people who want a resolution A conclusion Were fixes So They put these problems there for us to fix They have a lot of problems A lot of internal conflict And chaos Unfortunately there's nothing we can do About it I wish I could be The light for them But some people really are beyond repair There's nothing we can do to fix These types of people It's too late So many negative comments in the live chat It's unbelievable It just goes to show they're probably not even listening It's more just Personal attacks about my appearance But I will be getting a moderator On here soon If you would like to moderate for the live chats Just send me an email To coach it at narksurvivor.co.uk Because we need to get all of this garbage Out of here All of this negativity All of this hate So childish Clearly these people hate themselves Of their lives And we don't We love ourselves, we love our lives At least until the narcissist came along So it doesn't make any sense They really need to go And find their own people Where they belong Honestly it's kind of hard to find any Genuine questions There's just so much hate Sometimes there's hate And then they go to these I don't even know what this is supposed to be These like fake creepy compliments You're cute Glowing Sort of just nonsense These types of people They're like comedians, they will shape shift They will be anything That they think Is going to get a reaction out of you Get you to notice So they will go back and forth Between Idealization, devaluation Whatever they think Is going to get them your attention Your validation But as I said earlier on It's really just that So that they can get power and control over you So then they have power And control over their false character And Their false reality Their fantasy and their mind That's all that there really is And all of this nonsense And the live chat really confirms that As well For those of you who are seeing it Because I know it can upset people And confuse you as well Like you may just wonder What is the reason for it What's the purpose of it As someone said before Why even waste your time Why not put your effort into something else That of course is because They've lost all belief in themselves Already All the hope, all faith The extreme and secure Giving up on themselves a long time ago So of course naturally They're going to give up on you They're going to give up on whatever you stand for And I'm here as a model For someone who hasn't Given up on themselves Problem is When you haven't given up on yourself They're going to approach and provoke you As much as they can To make you Give up on yourself And you can never let them do that Never let it get to that point As it is For themselves internally That is what they want for you So they will try to push you into that Just don't let it happen Keep watching my videos Everything that I say in these videos Is true I've been researching this for over six years I know exactly what I'm talking about So don't let them destabilize you Don't let them take you off your path Anyway I'm going to end this video here And hopefully we will get a new Moderator in the live chat very soon So then we can have a safe Comfortable space Where we can share these messages And Just be together in the frequency That we choose to Instead of Going down And into other people's Insecurities Doubts Which are more about themselves than they are about anyone else As within so without How a person treats you Is a direct reflection Of how they feel about themselves You can't get Blood from a stone I see we've got 193 live viewers If you found this video helpful Thumbs up and down below Thank you And let me know what you think about this video And what I've said in the comment section I read your comments every day I see there's always a lot of hate in the live chats But rarely Much hate in the comments Which is interesting to see I think it's more where people just want to join When I'm live And share this message To kind of distract me And stop me from sharing the truth Because again it attacks their false reality And their false character Which isn't even real And it doesn't even exist So it has no value It's not going to make you feel more positive And confident about yourself It's not going to improve your life It's just going to tear you down And they're just tearing themselves down In the process But if you're getting value from my videos Definitely hit the subscribe button And click on notifications So that you will be notified When I upload a video in the future And if you would like to donate You can donate through the super chat The live chat The super thanks in the comment section Or you can go to my paypal It is paypal.me And if you would like To book a one-on-one coaching session With me You can go to my website www.coder.co.uk And also you can follow me on Instagram It's NARX by the YouTube I have new pictures and videos Of my travels which I upload To my stories every day on there So definitely check it out Live in the city here Sorry for all of the distractions I know there's a lot of chaos But I'm doing the best that I can To bring you these messages every day To motivate And inspire you To make things more positive For you and your life Because I know when you look around at the world It's like everyone just wants to bring you down To their level So someone's got to get on here And bring people up Help people to understand things Make people feel good Make people feel happy And that's my job That's my purpose, that's what I do Anyway, thank you all for joining me On another NARX Survival Live video Thank you all for your support And I look forward to speaking with you In another video very soon