 Hey everybody, thank you so much for being here. We're so blessed you could be here. Be honest, you're hoping that it's blue, right? As long as our baby is healthy, we're gonna be happy. All right, here we go. It's yellow. Your baby is a libertarian. What? I'm gonna go. Here, look at the ultrasounds. That's the head, and that's the foot, and that's a baggie of magic mushrooms, and that is a pamphlet on jury nullification. Is this fetus flipping off the camera? Yeah, it didn't like that we were taking pictures of it without a warrant. I don't understand. It's not Republican or Democrat? Yeah, which way is it supposed to vote? Uh, it may not. God. God? What kind of God would do this to a loving family? Did we do something wrong? Is it our fault? Libertarians can come from all sorts of households, left and right. So it's half Republican, half Democrat? God damn political hermaphrodite. Well, now hang on. I'm libertarian and I'm fine. Right? Oh. Well, that's hurtful. What kind of 24-hour news is it gonna watch? Is Chick-fil-A okay? What about Ben and Jerry's? Is it gonna hate Disney because of the gay inclusion or the corporate profit? I don't even know what sign to put in our yard! You're not actually gonna let it be libertarian, right? What do you mean, let it? In this political climate, you might as well throw your baby away. In this political climate, throwing a baby away is illegal. To be clear, it's always been illegal to throw a baby away. Pretty sure California's still an option if you're quick about it. Nobody's throwing away any babies! Oh, so it's a protest baby. Probably not a good gift, right? Honey, are you crying? You know, you could probably exchange it for Bitcoin. For keeping the baby! The book! Although, in a truly capitalist society, you should be a... Oh my God, this again. Everybody, listen up. Yes, we're having a non-binary child. And yes, it's gonna be a monster. We all invariably blame the downfall of democracy on because it spoils the election for the good party. My party. My part. My part. Either way, this is technically our child. And we are gonna love this political quasi-modo and hope that someday an evangelical youth group or a sneering university indoctrination forces it to pick a lane. But until then, we just need some time to process what's happened to our family and maybe start digging a nursery bunker. All right, let's give them some space, guys. Wait, so is it a boy or...? It's definitely a boy. Obviously. Probably a bearded, girly boy. It's probably gonna come out with a beard.