 Well, walking onto the ice, the way you would feel is you have 20,000 people cheering. It was just an incredible, incredible experience to step out on the ice. The music's pumping. I was always worried about getting scored on, or worried about embarrassing myself, or worried about not performing well enough for my teammates. I would describe it as something my brain just kind of broke. I just started getting these thoughts, repetitive, deep, dark thoughts that I couldn't stop. Along with that came panic attacks, a lot of anxiety, depression. You know, really just trapped in my own brain. At one point I would make an attempt at my own life. I was ashamed, I was embarrassed, I felt like less of a man than everybody else. It wasn't fair to my teammates. I was late for practices, late for meetings. I was always trying to do everything I could to hide my mental illness from them because I didn't want them to know. Ultimately, if I was successful at taking my own life, missing a one of them would have said, why didn't he come to me? Why didn't he talk to me? I was somebody that he could talk to. I was somebody that he could have reached out to. What helped me reach out, and the deciding factor was, is that I had two options. I could either end my own life, or I could go get help. And I wanted to live. I was amazed that when I did finally reach out for help, that there was treatment available, that I had a diagnosable mental illness, that there was help for, and that I wasn't alone, and that I wasn't trapped in my own brain, and that I would get better, and that I would go on to lead a great life. We have a massive crisis going on with opioids and mental health right now, and it's heartbreaking. How I feel we can change that is by letting men know that it's okay to not be okay, that you can reach out and get help, but you have to be willing to tell somebody you have to go and get the help, and there is no shame in asking for help. Talk to anyone, talk to your health professional, it can be a nurse, it can be anybody, a friend, a colleague, an adult, a teacher, anyone you trust. The important thing is that you do reach out and talk to somebody and ask them to help you. If someone reaches out to you, it's extremely important, and I tell everybody this, to be non-judgmental. Listening without judgment is probably one of the greatest things you can do for someone that's struggling with mental illness. Mental health issues are health issues, and should be approached without judgment, shame, or blame. We are all in this together.