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If I Had a Smart Phone

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Published on Dec 23, 2012

A lament on the misfortunes of one whose old feature phone just won't die.

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If I had a smart phone
Apple, Android, Windows Mobile, Symbian or even RIM,
All day I'd watch movies on the web
If I had a smarter phone!

I wouldn't need a laptop,
I could monitor my emails and my IM's on the road,
If I had a touchscreen interface
and a really big high-res display.

I'd fill my flash card up with dozens of apps
Like Flixster, My Beach, and Angry Birds,
Squawking at the crushed piggies as they fall
And I'd compile a mobile version of Octave
so that I could do real math --
That would be the sweetest thing of all.

If I had a smart phone
And a data plan and messaging and voice over IP --
Steve who made the iPod and iPad,
Now you're dead and Apple fans are sad,
Can't you make my Palm Centro go bad
So I can buy a smarter phone?

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