 Robbie how are you brother? I'm really good actually. It's nice to speak to you. Your your empathy and your compassion Really really touched me and before you pressed record. I asked you how you were and you said I'm I'm in paradise And it's all in there. I'm in content. I've got to content. How'd you get to paradise? pain medication It's fucking evil. I Think drugs are like the equivalent of a Ouija board and you don't know what you're opening up And I think that when people talk about demons and Sorting out their demons. I think they're actual demons. I tell you what though It's a fucking field day for conspiracists right now, isn't it with this that's going on what I did straight away in this lockdown Was rid myself of mainstream the mainstream media news? Because I I understood that it was inflaming my Panic and paranoia and fear why all the symbolism everybody's saying, you know, this and and this and All of these things and Hollywood's in on it. It's not true. I'm in love with the planet I'm in love with its people Which is weird because I'm an agri-phobe The awakening is upon us We're deluding ourselves yet again Is there anything you don't want me to mention? Let's mention everything Okay Robbie how are you brother? I'm really good today. I am really good It's nice to speak to you. Oh Mate, it's it's wonderful and you've already made my day. He's sent me a really nice message this morning and Yeah, I'll tell you I'll tell you what it your your empathy and your compassion Really really touched me and I tell you why I was watching the SAS program and And then I went on YouTube to I Found you basically and you were talking about the SAS program because there was the incident with John fashion new in the incident with Tony Balliom I also went on Twitter to see what people were saying and the amount of abuse that they were receiving because of their actions was quite phenomenal and it scared me and it made me sad and How you Interpreted their life and their story and the empathy that you gave them is Really crucial right now Just in general. So I thought I'd reach out to you and say I appreciated it Oh, mate, I love you mate. It's so kind It's well, it's so kind you did that because it kind of validates what? Well, who who I've become and it's it's been a fucking it's been a long road, you know It's been a long old night and I asked you before you before you pressed record I asked you how you were and you say kindly your guests ask you how you are and I always say the same thing You said I'm I'm in paradise and it's all in there I'm in content. I've got to content. How'd you get to paradise? Wow God this we could probably talk for hours on this subjects alone Rob Let me say I I don't think you can find I Don't think there's any such thing as like being happy every day, right? I wish there was it would be great if that was an end goal You could just aim for that and one day you get there and but I don't think you ever get that life is always going to be ups and downs and The way to live in paradise is how you interpret those ups and downs. So it's how you make sense of Now every day Incidents that might not be pleasant or you know, well, they might be the opposite might be might be delightful But it's kind of like like roll in with the highs and roll in with the lows but staying in the middle I think I know I think I know what you mean because the interesting thing that's happened for me in this lockdown is that You know there has been We've got a lot of family issues right now, you know, my dad's got Parkinson's my mother-in-law who loved dearly has got Very big illness we can't get to them My dad's thousands and thousands of miles away mom is Just a year short of 80 and she's in isolation and I can see the things whirling in her mind and her eyes going We have a brand new baby bow well, we've got four children and Basically all of these things that go into the computer can cause fear and panic and I Noticed at the start of the the lockdown that I was going into fear But the difference between me now as a middle-aged man and The person that I used to be I saw it Said that's interesting Tomorrow will be different and it was Whereas before I Understand a little bit about your history If that would have happened, I thought I used to think that I was gonna feel that way for a decade Yeah, do you know what I mean? Yeah, I kind of I I kind of do it No, I'm just talking about the The the the riding of the wave the acknowledgment of okay, this is happening now But this too will pass tomorrow will be different. Oh massively Massively, I mean it's like when you're coming down off drugs and you've you know, maybe you've lapsed or relapsed Whatever it is. It's it's you can feel absolutely awful. You can be chronically Maybe not chronic but extremely depressed everything in your life Feels like it's going against you you feel that lack of self-worth You feel unpopular all those things that we feel on a calm down, right? But when you get a bit of an old dog you just go hang on This it's just all in my head, you know, it's just chemicals, isn't it different sort of Different chemical reaction going on in your brain and you can tell yourself hang on I'm not gonna tomorrow. I'm gonna feel better day after that. I'm gonna feel even more better the third day bang, I'm gonna be firing again and that's kind of how I am with With everything now really I mean, I'm a great believer in what Bob Marley said everything's gonna be all right and Somebody again, it was a girl actually said that to me. I got off for this girl in South Africa I was on my way to Mozambique to go and teach street street kids and This was all after like my what I'd call like the major part of my drug problem on my or addiction I should say and for some reason I rocked up in this backpackers in God Johannesburg yeah, and I met I've met this girl and I don't can't remember how we got it on but she had a bit of a crush on me and she could see I was nervous About the upcoming thing out of flight the next day to Nampood or in Mozambique and then it was a chicken bus to go and meet these kids in this Rural village where I'll be working for six months and Nervousness was nothing I'd ever experienced before drugs ever nervousness anxiety I only ever knew what that was after when I joined the Marines, you know I joined the toughest basic training in the world or past the toughest basic training in the world just took everything as It came Rob, you know, right what we're doing today. We're doing that right Give it your best try and pass tomorrow's a new day. Dada. Dada. It was when You know drugs possibly a Bad acid trip I had once after that I started to know what anxiety is and and and that kind of thing and This girl moving forward to South Africa recognized that I was in an anxious state something she just went Don't worry About a thing Because every little thing's gonna be alright I'm singing to Robbie Williams. There you go. There's there's a tick off the bucket list nice and Do you know what I? Just got it. I just You know, I've got a lot of things at different stages over the year and just the way she said that It's like there isn't anything to worry about is that everything usually is alright if it's not we just we get on and deal with it so I Was different to you I saw a two drugs to fill in the blanks You know and When fame came to me at a very early age. I was 16 when I joined take that it sort of magnified all of the negative aspects of who I thought I was and before that I was quite content, but I was vulnerable and Incredibly sensitive and I felt like I'd bought I've been born with an open wound and then when I was thrown into this mosh pit of show business It's Intensified the negative aspects of my own self-doubt so I took drugs to Become the person that I thought the world was telling me I should be When really, you know, I'm an introvert And it's okay to be an introvert. I'm an introvert with Extrovert tendencies. I'm an extrovert for a living But I'm an introvert in real life so I Did know about anxiety I did know about fear and I did know about being scared and not being enough and Then it just intensified and got worse and then you know you throw petrol on the flames by ingesting what you ingest so You say that when you were growing up you didn't have that and then what you became was a product of your Addiction and self abuse Yeah, I wouldn't want to mislead people and have them think I didn't have any challenges grew up because Without you know going too deep into I had the archetypal Troubled Troubled child that's to put it mildly. You know my parents separate several times and an interval so I think I went to Think I went to six six schools You know, so that's six new sets of friends six six new sets of bullies that you've got a fight So you don't get bullied all that kind of stuff You know Yeah, it was like I say, I don't like to talk too much about it because I believe in forgiveness, but it was quite Yeah, I Went through I went through things Rob that that a toddler shouldn't ever go through right But even off the back of that even though that game that instilled certain character traits in me like I I I Yeah, I Was kind of extrovert looking for attention But probably really introvert in in myself. I'm guessing you can relate to that. I Wonder if the anxiety and The depression and the lack of self-worth and self-esteem for you was a sleeper cell Do you know what I mean? It was there, but Maybe you just blocked it out because of the Trauma of what happened to you gosh Let me think I never I never knew depression Until I came back from Hong Kong So for people watching who don't know I I left the Marines to run what was a fairly successful business in Hong Kong It was turning over an awful lot of money at one point. So I just I just assumed leave the commandos Go to Hong Kong Make my fortune just a little bit naive young man really but that's you know, very capitalistic sort of thing so within Six or seven months I was chronically addicted to crystal meth business had gone a Gone pear shaped and I ended up working as a nightclub dormant in a club over there Run by the 14k triad crime family So things all got really, you know Quite interesting so I'm in full-on psychosis so Best way to explain that it's like I'm schizophrenic, you know, I'm in like a full-on sort of schizophrenic mode while working for Hong Kong's most violent crime family It it got a bit hairy and it got a bit not nice But when I came back from there, I Was back in the U. I saw I was in that kind of state for let's just say a year When I came back to England and My family didn't recognize me Robbie, you know, I walked up to my dad in the airport I was like alright dad And he's just kept he's keep looking at the arrivals, you know tunnel I'm like dad. It's me and he looks at me and his face just was just shocked. I've gone out there sort of 13 and a half stone like bodybuilder and I was coming back best part of nine stone, you know Anyway, I was fine for a few days. I Smuggled a little bit of crystal meth back with me did a few lines of that over the Next couple of days and when it was gone it was gone and there was no like, you know, I wasn't desperate anything but I Was fine, but there's a math was a massive empty feeling in my life. I loved Hong Kong. It's so vibrant over there it's It's just like being in your own kind of Can't really explain your own movie 24-7 literally I used to just dance all night and you know I used to work on the door to two three in the morning go over to my favorite nightclub dance with it with a Filipino sort of domestic workers and and Then do the same thing again anything up to nine days at a time without sleep When I got back to the UK, I missed Hong Kong terribly. I missed the people. I missed the language. I missed the food I missed the culture. I missed being a front man on a nightclub as as kind of Bad as this might sound but a nightclub run by Fucking headcases, you know who headcases who taken me in Taking me in when I was homeless and sitting on my backpack on on the Nathan Road over there and When I got back to the UK I I stopped the drugs I was fine for um like a few days almost like everything was back to normal and After a couple of weeks. I got bored My family's telling me Chris take it easy. Take it easy. You've been for a hard time and I'm like no I want to get a job. I want to get back over there as soon as possible This was my thinking well. I never got that job. What I did do is go and score some speed and you know You can sort of see where this is going right next thing I'm like scoring a bit more speed Then I'm like I was on like benefits something it was like 80 quid a fortnight or something I'm spending 70 quid of that on speed. I'm Keeping nine quid towards paying my bills and I've got part. I think I'd Like one pound 80 to spend for my fortnightly shop, right? Anyway, because I didn't have that much money for drugs and I never sold drugs It wasn't like I had an endless supply in my pocket They would last me what I could afford for about four three or four nights and then bang I would literally crash where I was I'd be raging I was injecting drugs up to like 12 times a day when it ran out because I had no more the Tiredness would finally like come over me like a like a tidal wave The drugs wouldn't be able to hold that tidal wave back and I'd crash and I'd wake up two days later wherever it was Doing that tidal wave. It's lucky. I wasn't in fucking Tesco's or something, right? And of course what came with that? chronic depression The sort of depression I'd never known I was directionless Didn't know where to go Didn't know where my life was going felt I had nothing to offer an employer I was an elite Royal Marines commando and I felt like I had I Had nothing on top of that. I've got some real Hairy situations with the tryouts while working for them and obviously I was in psychosis for on and off for three or four months Which is traumatic enough in itself plus I've got all my childhood shit, which I've I've never You know, I never dealt with it because I never really realized I had it Until I started to get involved in drugs and you're thinking, you know, you think a lot more and So cut long story short that Was my first experience of depression, but I didn't know what it was Because no one comes up to you or certainly back like this is 20 years ago No one like comes up to you and goes Chris you're depressed, mate. That's what it is. And by the way Free nights off your head on drugs ain't helping you mate, right? so That was that now I can honestly say I've never got depressed in my life since then except When I have a binge, which is quite few and far between now But you know, it's petered off over the years it went to like drugs binge Booze doesn't get me doesn't bring on the depression. It's the class A's or what what, you know, whatever Whatever whatever that form that might be sometimes it's been pain medication But here was the thing. I've got myself out the country I did a charity fire walk to raise money to go and study in this school in Norway that then would send me to Africa as a volunteer worker and the first time ever I Went away and asked if I knew I was depressed because I knew what to look for now, right? I've been sober for 20 years. I haven't had a drink for 20 years In that period there was a period of time for a year where I relapsed on a certain substance When I was 19 something happened to me one evening Where I woke up the next day and thought oh, I'm an alcoholic and I'm an addict I didn't do anything about it for another two to three years. I have mainly been a sober person for a majority of my life Where I am now as a 46 year old is Content I don't there's no binge You know, I think the last bastion of Negative addictions for me that I can't cope with this food and I've sort of I'm getting that down I'm managing that I'm managing that addiction What I was thinking of the last couple of weeks in this slipstream that I find myself in of sobriety is the delusion of Our reality when we were growing up, how old are you? 50 now Okay, so the school doors close and the pub doors open and As simple as we breathe We just walk into those pubs And it's a lottery whether you survive them or not What it's becoming apparent to me is That doesn't have to be that paradigm the paradigm that you You you get your entertainment and you deal with life from numbing yourself You know, I'm just I don't want to do anything about it I'm just finding it interesting as a sober person of 46 to go Yeah, we didn't need to do that But it was just the it was just the root the river was taking you You know, and I've got four kids And I and they're all young my oldest is seven the youngest is three months old and I wonder how They are going to approach That particular phase of their life and how I'm going to approach that particular face of their lives with them Because I I don't know about you right and I know this sounds crazy To some it might not I Think drugs are like the equivalent of a Ouija board and you don't know what you're opening up And I think that when people talk about demons and sorting out their demons. I think they're actual demons I've had this very conversation. Yeah with my with my partner Yeah, when you went when when opiates get you and that That ain't nice That is not nice because you're not just dealing with a mental You know a mental Addiction then you're dealing with a physical one That you have got to go through pain to get off this stuff now Either that or wean yourself down so gradually That the pain You know, it's the pain is so bearable Let me tell you the greatest hits of The worst time I've ever had with drugs Are painkillers? When it cuts to drugs Yeah, it's the angels my song of The greatest hits that have been the most problematic Nothing is a day trip or a walk in the park But pain medication Is fucking evil Yeah Evil and legal just like alcohol, you know And meanwhile, you know the The people that own the patent for those pain medications are currently living in 50,000 square foot houses Yeah, that's that's one of six while America succumbs to its own epidemic It's own pandemic Yeah, it's scary Yeah, well that whole The whole opiate epidemic particularly in the States is I mean It's an act of if people want to use terms like the devil if that's how they frame things That's an act of the devil I mean they convinced a whole kind of from what I understand the whole community of general practitioners so so your doctor That this medication Is Just as harmless as you know taking an aspirin or taking an ibuprofen or something right so the doctor's then prescribed it willy-nilly and we've got this situation that we're in now It all gets so much more complicated because When you get addicted to a prescription medication You will then in a position where you've got to Fake your illness or extent, you know to extend it because The alternative is having to admit to your GP that you think you've got a problem with it That's problematic even in itself because we live in a society where it's just so much denial anyway And you don't want to tell your GP because it might then affect your work or he might turn around say right go down go down to the You know the drug center the addiction treatment center and if you're let's say You know you just use a stereotype some middle-class Person who works in a Bank or solicitors and you got to rock up down at the methadone clinic It's it you know it all gets that nasty doesn't it? Well is the thing somebody might be watching this that's actually currently medicated That knows exactly what we're talking about and I would say to them there is a There is a new reality that you can step into it isn't easy and while you Ween yourself off those things you feel like the pain and the discomfort is never going to end But the truth is it does And the other side is freedom I think it's important that people Know that Do know that it does feel like it isn't going to end it will Exactly couldn't have put it better myself Now this is what I said to you earlier about Living in paradise It's it you know, which which for me is in here. I've traveled most I've traveled most of the world and it's not a place You I've seen some nice places I Think I also think that for me the new normal and the new paradise is content You know that that's what That what that's what speaks to me in this position that I am with the word that I've done on myself You know, we've been to places The only Superman is inhabited So we think that's normal It's not, you know for me my paradise right now Is not being in pain and it's feeling content. Yeah, and you know, that's the sort of a Rebalancing of the Richter scale, you know, I often say to people rate your day 10 being orgasmic and one being Suicidal and I just think we need to rejig the scale You know because what I'm expecting as a 10 I Can't inhabit that place unless I become a monk and meditate daily for Weeks and weeks and weeks and years and years and years But I can inhabit a different 10 my 10 Do you know what I'm saying? Yes, very much. I think when I use the word paradise, maybe it sounds a bit too powerful a bit bit too sort of idyllic Because content I could I could eat I could equally substitute paradise with content I think I use word paradise because like I genuinely love this planet. I Really do. I mean, I love the universe, but I don't think I'm gonna see much of it, but effectively My bottom dollar is we're carbon molecules, right? That's what we're made of the same as everything else and As such we're part of the universe and when you think of it like that, that means we've always been here and We will always be here because we're just molecules when when this life form finishes This form that people like to label Chris through Will disintegrate, you know ashes to ashes dust it does I will then be in the birds and the plants and the bees it for you know for the next You know the next phase of this set of molecules Well, the first thing that that thinking that way does is it it takes away your fear of death because You can't go anywhere. If you wanted to you can't go anywhere You know, I wrote a lyric and it said I'm not scared of dying. I just don't want to Yes, perfect Yeah, you know, I think I got the other day actually because I think it really resonated with me Yeah, it's from a song of mine called come on done Yeah, this is an avatar, you know, you could do the Chris the Robbie Williams. I Believe this is an avatar I Say I believe I think I have a knowing do you understand what I'm saying? Yeah, I think I have a knowing a Lot of the time I don't trust that knowing because we have been Inductrinated into the cult of understanding that has been The brushing is very powerful and very very seductive and it works now I'm either mad or I know some shit Do you know what I mean? Yeah, you've just lost your Your video I can still hear you. So let's continue Yeah, no, I think I think I think yeah some shit Rob. That's it's just you can't you can't Go through what we've been through For me, it's a bit like yeah, but do but Let me let me ask you this but do we are we not you know because I'm picking up from you that you and I same thing that people call research, right and Is it research or are we just watching videos on YouTube and are we stuck in an echo chamber? Yeah Yeah, I mean, it's fascinating. Do you ever ask yourself the question of we is this a simulation? Is this just some Hey, mate, I asked myself that I was I was nine years old. I was on a BMX I was outside Port Vail Stadium and I was by myself and I had this overwhelming sense that none of this is real Mmm, and I was absolutely terrified and I peddled home as quick as my legs could carry me and it didn't mention it. I Still feel the same. I'm not scared about it Yeah, I Had that feeling I had a this weird. I don't think it was a dream But when I was a kid Drempt for some reason I was walking along this wall Then all of a sudden everything went white and I just kind of feeling that and The kind of aura if you could describe the aura it was like that's it. It's over and Now when I look back at I think was I imagining like all out new, you know a nuclear holocaust That's what as an adult you you would have described of what I what I experienced I don't know Sorry that triggers a thought for me because my my first memory of being a child We lived in a pub until I was four years old. So I can differentiate When my memory started my first memory is astral projection, you know in in dream state Floating off around the town. So that's my first memory You're you saying that's it. It's over. Was that nuclear holocaust? It's interesting Hmm. Yes, but another thing about me though is I don't I Don't really read too much in You know, it's like we're never gonna find all the answers in life and I'm quite happy about About I'm having fun connecting the dots though. Yeah, it is. It's interesting and You certainly take should a place where I don't think that many people arrive at in there however many years on this planet I think you go through phases as well as You know, it's a journey, isn't it? Like any journey you can you can feel quite lonely on it at times You can other times you can feel companionship when you meet her, you know a kindred spirit Guess the internet is quite good in that respect because no longer I Don't know at the one hand you learn a lot of stuff over the internet That you probably would never have learned if if we didn't have it But then on the other hand you can connect with people that that have come to the same conclusions as you so I Don't know That's you know, like social media on a whole I think is a bad thing But I've been able to connect with you instantaneously and this has happened in a matter of hours. So there is Good that comes out of it, too. I do Instagram live stuff at the moment. I'm doing this thing called corona oki where I take requests and I sing to people but in the past I've gone live with people random people and Chatted with them the amount of Spirits that I picked up just talking to people on Instagram live has been incredible the amount of people that I talked to that are carers that are nurses that are fans of mine that like what I do in fact I only kind of speak to people that care for things and and the earth and other people and For for that alone, I'm glad that social media exists But then there's the the negativity that's very very powerful that people You know, it's an energy and I ability to join in with that energy to it's only because of the position that I'm in that I suppose I don't Otherwise I'd be throwing in callous Dismissive disparaging shameful judgmental opinions to out into the universe willy-nilly, I think But because I am the recipient of those That abuse I Know what it feels like so I don't do it But I guess that if I was Rob that was in stoke-on-trend that I hadn't been lucky enough to Audition for take that and get in I'd be doing the same thing Which is why your musings about John fashion who and Tony value were Rational because it's the antithesis of what I was reading on Twitter, you know, you're talking about John fashion you that's an orphan Already you fought and then Sovereign racial abuse Every day a society telling them that they are less than that they are not good enough that they are different and Then as an adult he chokes out locksmith from rudimental and everybody thinks he's a cunt There's there's a journey there's a journey from there's a journey from there to that Which is why your musings about it was very inspirational at a time when we need more of that we need more Empathy and I I you know, it's like I'm not I Sately I suffer with the same sort of judgments and Shied and Shied and Freud are enjoying other people's misfortunes and having people feel Like they're bigger and better than me. So I have to tear them down in my head I know that about me I don't actively Do that, but I know I'm capable of that because I think that's part of the human journey, too I don't enjoy enjoy that about mine for you though Rob. You've been in an industry where Jesus You have got to work so hard to get to the top and then to stay there, right? It must be so much conditioning that goes on In your mind through having been through that Process right the same for example if I'd stayed in the Marines for the 22 year career that some people do I'll be a lot more kind of You know a marini kind of guy thinking You know thinking this way and maybe using the cliches that you hear Kind of when I see cliches the kind of things people say to justify war and this kind of thing Well, I mean, you know, I'm surrounded by people in the forces Special boat service That's what SPS Marines army And I love them a very very very Special people, you know that they look after me and Yeah, I I love them to bits. There is a sort of knowing that they have and an understanding and I think also All of them that I've worked with over the past 30 years There's no chip There's no chip on the shoulder because they've they've done it They don't they don't they're not they're not sort of they don't have to Be the big I am because they were the big I am Well, it's like the SAS who dares wins program is it when you see them go in their little gaggle in their heart and they have to discuss the we call them contestants, but the Selectees I suppose we call them They're really quite nice about them aren't they they it's almost like they care and they want and that's what the Marines is like it in training they you might be put through your paces and You you might get but you don't get barked out a lot in the Marines. It's not sort of like you You'd experience in the army, for example, some sergeant major just shouting at you like you're you know, you're a nothing but you do get shouted at at times and you get what you call beasted which is just severe kind of physical endurance like Exercise which is put on you as a form of punishment, but it's all that's to serve to you know to create a Fighting machine at the end of the day that that follows all those obviously when they're told But behind the scenes there that they're quite thoughtful people and they'll sit down and say right this Recruit through he's good at this. He's good there What do we think about that? How can we kind of you know encourage him to get better there? And yeah, so I can imagine you're Your security boys are that kind of ilk and special forces guys are really good. They're not what people think they are You see my chat with Colin McLaughlin. He's a really just an absolute gentleman Yeah There is that there's an empathy in that show the beast in and the shouting and then the the you know the cuddle but the empathic nature of what they see in human beings is Incredible there isn't another show on TV that has the I know That isn't a therapy kind of show that shows the other side of human nature or talent shows or reality TV Shows none of them have that moment where they try and understand the person that's in front of them Yeah No, you're quite right The other thing I kind of like we don't watch I don't watch mainstream TV per se But the two things I watch one is the SAS program It's my duty to watch and Foxy's a really nice guy He's gonna be the patron of my charity bike ride next year. I'm gonna Mountain bike across America The Foxy's agreed to be the patron and we're gonna try and raise awareness of this Alarming rate of sick veteran suicide, which I've done on a couple of my charity stunts before So yeah, so I like to watch it from that perspective But the other one funny enough is I'm a celebrity get me out of here And when you see these celebrities put in the jungle and for the first, you know one or two days there They've got their celebrity head on and then well after that you start to see the cracks and the human nature coming out and the real The real then and what I really like is the way that they've gone through this What do they call it? Forming storming norming and reform reforming this this process that That the psychology of human beings when they put together in groups And I like it when they really bond at the end and they've got used to each other's kind of foibles and Fopas and all that sort of thing and and they're a real solid Unit and they've achieved and they've overcome their obstacles and their fears and Yeah, so that's kind of the other mainstream program talking about mainstream stuff what I Did straight away in this lockdown was rid myself of mainstream the mainstream media news Because I understood that it was Inflaming my panic and paranoia and fear almost like there's a psychic attack and I Instantly went okay. Why don't we take this moment to? adjust and reframe where you are put in your energy and I used to put my energy before this started in headlines and I knew that I shouldn't but I was compelled to do it For seven weeks. I haven't Clicked a headline or read the news. I also don't really watch the TV Apart from a few odds and sods, but I'm on YouTube all the time Probably a bit like this This is where I get my news. Yeah, well, it's the it's the bet It's the certainly the better way although obviously this platform is becoming more and more censored Which which reminds me which I want to get on to so we're all watching the same videos We're all coming up to the same conclusions, but I'm on the other side of the veil, right? I'm on the other side of the curtain and Just for context Um, you know sold 80 million albums So 10 million tickets for people come see me was the biggest artist on the planet for two years maybe three years and I say this not for you You go just for context. Hey, you can say what you like me because you thoroughly deserved it and you Thanks, Chris, but there's a reason that I'm saying this right because this is what I'm worried about and it's Discernment and the echo chamber that we find ourselves in right you would think That the platform that I was given and have That I would have heard something know something or been invited to something Right. I can tell you on my children. I know nothing Haven't been invited Haven't heard The only thing that I ever heard about was what everybody else heard about and I heard about that when I wasn't famous was jimmy sabbel Right, so this is what I'm saying to you And it's really important because we're coming up with our own conclusions, but we're also magnifying our own thoughts and theories And the maths is off Hmm Did you know what I'm saying? Yeah, I I do because I Yeah, I tell you I tell you, you know, everybody's saying, you know this and And this and all of these things and hollywood's in on it and everybody is in on it It's not true You know, it's not true, you know, everybody's not in it. I'm not saying that there aren't people that are I don't know But you would have thought I would have heard something And that's what I'm saying is sort of like look I was bread fed breast fed red pills, but The reason why I don't indulge this outside of you And other people that I talk to Is because there is a chance that you could become a red pillock You'll understand what I'm saying Exactly. I think it's why a lot of people get to a certain point robin Then they just pull back because it it all gets into the realm of subjectivity Yeah, you know And you do you think hang on a second There's rob there in los angeles. He's got a beautiful wife. He's got four gorgeous kids. He's he's He's trying to get by, you know, like everybody else is Really is he got time to be going to meetings and you know drinking the blood of children and all this kind of stuff, right? I I I would say right here and now I wouldn't Dismiss anything Me neither me neither And I say that because Yeah It's fascinating why then why all the symbolism what what is who Listen, I'm down for symbolism will be there down for Yeah But who actually gets it in the in the in the videos and the and the and the songs Let me tell you let me tell you You know The zeitgeist of the moment is this talk For certain people right What popular culture does and pop music does is regurgitate What it's receiving And present it back to you now I myself Like I remember when I did The shame video a Gary Barlow I put on a masonic Ring because I wanted to I wanted to wind people up, you know, I wanted to You know prod them And take the piss What people are not in my lyrics I've put in Things that those will know will understand and those that don't it just passes them by The reason that I've put them in is because I'm going hey, I'm interested in this That's what I'm doing is I got I'm interested in this I think there's something in it and then I sort of I suppose that it's sort of like for me sending out an All-points bulletin going are you picking this up too? Are you receiving this too? You know and I wonder If that's what other people are doing because that's what I'm doing You know, it's like I I've got I've got lyrics out there that are really dark that people don't know are dark You know and what I don't want is that to come back and kick me in the arse And have people think I'm one of them because that's really dangerous That's really really dangerous You know and and we know with I won't say the words but you know if you like a dough based Food with a dairy topping on it You know what I'm saying you know You know, there's sort of like this the this sort of out of control redpilling Can come back and bite a lot of people in the arse and there's a lot of people pointing at people And they don't know You don't know we've all we've all heard the same YouTube documentaries and talks But nobody fucking knows it Yeah, I think shorn outward is uh I love shorn. Yeah, he's a good guy good guy shorn But I think he probably sums it up in That there's there's probably a lot of competing agendas in the world um I mean It's hard to I genuinely don't know how much you can talk about this stuff Especially on a platform like youtube. I know you can't you know You know and and I say this a lot I don't maybe think this is the platform because there's no point having a youtube channel and working your Ass off which is what you have to do to to make it work To have it demonetised. Yeah, just to have just to just to have it taken away from you and It's interesting. I mean david ight puts a lot of stuff out there on his youtube and You do It does make you wonder How And I'm not not suggesting anything for one minute, but it just makes you wonder how he gets away with it Me too, but look can I also state for the record? This is not a hill that I want to die on either You know, I don't want to become the face of this You know, it's like I I'm I'm a interested bystander That's connecting dots too But I I'm not I'm not here to lead a charge because I have as much truth as everybody else does And I don't even know if it's true You know Again, it comes down. Do you ever find yourself wondering if this is all just part of your bizarre reality this this Because it's um, it's this what I'm saying is It's so are we Are we in an echo chamber that makes us feel good about our own psychosis? Hmm. Yeah, which is why I can't which is why I can't die on this hill You know, because I understand myself enough to understand that I don't understand myself You know, and I feel on comfort. I feel discomfort Have I created my own reality where these things are possible? You know, that's so I I'm you know, I I have to Stand outside of myself and have a look at it objectively As objectively as I can Yes Yes I tell you what though. It's a fucking field day for conspiracists right now. Isn't it with this that's going on It's like we've we've pulled the one arm bandit and it's coming sevens You know, it's just it's I it's like this right sometimes it's tempting to think Hang on. Am I am I drawing false conclusions here? You know, does it it is Is this all circumstantial? And I'm I don't mean me person but people that have that kind of interest I draw are making too much of it, right? But then let's be honest you if you If you go back if I can just say the events in new york Then It it's undeniable. Well, I can't deny it to myself rob that Something's fucking going on, right? um You know I'm suspicious Oh, yeah, I'm highly suspicious that they go. I mean it yeah, I think for a lot of us we're just way past that stage of of Was it is it it's I mean I'm I'm saying this because I'd be unfair to all those kind people out there that have spent thousands of hours dedicating their lives to exposing the truth There was one gentleman I saw um They fedexed his brother back to him in in boxes bit by bit as they found him in the twin towers, right? um And just to think these fuckers got away with that rob and they're still getting away with it um You know there's a line in the sand and for me it's Do I want to live as a coward or do I want to live as a lion and there's only one answer to that And just for that people like that guy Who had his brother fedex back to him in bits as they found you know one box would contain part of his scalp um and yeah I tell you I do find interesting is the uh the acceleration of information You know where you would sort of have to wait for 18 months before a let's call it a dump You know the speed of which truths Are happening right now is accelerating to the point where Uh the awakening is upon us or we're deluding ourselves yet again With this current situation, I don't want to talk like specifics and it's also I don't want to alarm people But then to the other side of the coin, haven't they been alarmed by what the media has told them already? As you said it it was scary, right? Well, I haven't had any of that fear at all And it's really simple. It's because I don't believe A single That's my wife. This is Chris Hi Ada, how are you? I'm sweaty and stinky, but you can't smell me on on zoom or skype We're talking some deep stuff Yeah, I love you, babe Oh, okay Okay um Yeah, but it's it's it's fascinating and um, I am a student um of Figuring out my own psychology really do you not feel Rob? Do you not feel a victim yourself? of our media Absolutely I mean When I get a young man comes to me says Chris, can you life coach me? I feel like this in my life Or I feel that I want to achieve this but Look the narrative the narrative of who I am has been dictated by people The gas light in positions of immense power, you know and and you know, uh, perception Is uh, is everything You know Who I am what I stand for What I actually believe how I actually feel Is not out there There is a cartoon character But to be honest with you 30 years into this My arse is so numb. I hardly feel the cock when it goes in Do you know what I'm saying? It's like okay, okay, that's That's happening again, but um Yeah, it's You know there's that sort of thing that you were talking about like the power of forgiveness And you were talking about how you're Able to forgive I really struggle with that I wrote a song I wrote a song last night actually about uh forgiveness And um, I wrote the lyric happy with the lyric I don't believe what i'm singing Because I I I struggle with I I often think that The power that motivates me to become the person that I am and carrying on being the power that I am also comes from people's disdain hate and uh And you know hate just hate, you know, that's been a potent force in the making of me both ways A for my psychology and how I feel about myself, but b for what I've achieved Yeah, but I find it very difficult. I find it very difficult To forgive I think of the other person or people come to the table at the same place as I am I find it incredibly easy to forgive Eat so easy you know, but If they don't I carry on in this Drink in the poison expecting somebody else to die sort of thing. Yeah. Well, that's massively how it is Yeah, see for me, it's that it's probably quite It's not a selfish thing per se but if you want to achieve enlightenment which I would suggest everybody gives that a go It's like if you're in the the marble championship of the universe and you've got your pot of marbles all the time You've got an axe to grind with someone. Oh, you haven't forgiven them or or or You know, they're they're arousing these emotions in you. It's like you've taken Some of your marbles out and you're putting them in their pot And then you're wondering why you're why you're not winning the you know The marble championship of the universe, right? Yeah, I get it. It's like forgive them forget it You know, if it's the bullies at school is an example a lot of people come You know something a lot of people suffer from Forgive them. They was probably victimized bully had come from broken homes himself They if you met them today on the street would probably be the first to apologize Forget it. And this is kind of what I say And yeah, but it's only because that it's It goes back to what you were saying before it comes back to empathy again To to understand everybody is to forgive everybody is a saying that I saw I was like Yeah, you know, it's like Yeah, if you understood everybody you'd forgive them Hmm It's not it's I think a lot of people listening or I know because I've said this before on podcast I think I said it on Sean's podcast. It's not a week. It's not a weakness. It's not about You know No, it's that was one of the lyrics one of the lyrics was uh, I'm not giving up I'm letting go. Yeah. It's a strength. It's a strength of character to Understand to empathize with other people's situation to see why they behaved in the way they did just to let it go So Yeah Hope that helps somebody listening. We're going back to the media. I know that it helped me It helped me, you know, it's like I'm like a fucking Rotweiler with that stuff. I just won't let it go It's sound another lovely quote. I heard this the other day. It's like lift the weights in your own gym No, yes So don't be at the window of your gym looking at the gym across the road going all they got nice dumbbells It's fucking shit. You lift the weights in your own gym. You do the work out here, you know, it's it's Stop, you know stop. Hey mate, I need to go for a pee and I also need to get some food Mm-hmm Well, it's been amazing talking to you hasn't it been great. I've loved it. I knew that we would Instantly have An understanding also, you know, it's like I'm kind of Sitting on the sidelines watching things occur And seeing the same youtube clips Knowing things knowing certain things are just like batshit crazy but also Knowing that there's a lot of truth in there You know, it's it's been nice to get this off my chest mm-hmm to go just Fucking pause for poise man Don't die on that hill Because we haven't got the facts We haven't got the facts the the amount of Bullshit that has been created In the places that we go to over the last last seven weeks because of what's happened in the last seven weeks That remain unfulfilled that remain not happening that remain No proof of but people are fucking sure that it's truth guys just It makes sense that a lot of it's Smoking mirrors. There wasn't a lot of it's fabricated to purposely take people off the The real genuine on the planet Yeah, I suppose that could be true too because yeah, how do you Controlling the enemy would be the first task. I would have thought And listen if they exist and they're as smart as we believe them to be Why wouldn't they be in control of this narrative too? That's what we If they exist, they're not just going to sit there going oh shit They're going to get smart Yeah, well, they are smart. They've been doing this for thousands of you know, since the days of the pyramids and uh And uh, they make Chris if they have Oh, they have you know Look Imers, I think that that is true. I have a belief That that is true Would I die on that hill and worship of the church of that? I don't know if I would I'm not as sure as you well It's at the end of the day. I'm I say to everybody you get one life If you live it right one is enough and I I don't let this get to me. I'm not afraid of anything Rob, you know, I I'm just I'm not afraid. I'm like I said, I'm carbon molecules. What what can happen to me? Well, I go back to this beautiful universe. I love anyway, so I'm not that's that's a good deal for me um, but while I'm in this form while I've got this kind of This this uh vehicle to experience which is life experiencing itself, right? I'm gonna have you know, I'm gonna Have the best time possible. I'm gonna smile. I smile at the sun every morning and I think I uh this this form of me Thanks mother nature for for giving me another day on this beautiful planet I've had three of my Three of my best friends now die from Two drunk themselves to death and one Uh drowned on when we took lsd and so It's You know, it's all very very Real for me, you know and that devil that you talked about is Even if we're talking in metaphorical terms or literary No, I know I know I I I know that Yeah, I know that I know that feeling rob. I know it When you wake up in a night, I think he's got me again, isn't he? He's got me again And this is why we fight the good fight, you know, this is why we believe in ourselves This is why we have to have ultimate self love This is why we love Everybody at every other being on this planet. Oh, mate. Listen. I love people Love people I love you know, I love connections Uh, I love empathy. I love compassion Um Yeah, I'm I'm in love with the planet. I'm in love with its people um Which is weird because I'm an agrophobe But there's there's the dichotomy anyway, listen much love to you. Peace to you brother Okay, lots of love keeping contact. Let's keep this conversation going. I look forward to that All right, brother. You take care you too, brother. Cheers. Cheers. Oh keep talking. They'll come Thank you Coming in droves at the minute and I've only got, you know, love to give so thank you, Robbie Hello, friend. I hope this finds you well. My name's Chris Thrall. I'm a former Royal Marines commando And I fought my way back from chronic trauma and addiction to live work and travel in 80 countries across all seven continents Achieving all of my dreams and goals along the way Now I pass my simple system onto other people But I can only help you if you Like and subscribe So please do so because you get one life and if you live it right One is enough