 Hello Psych2Go viewers. Our guest for today's live stream is Shana, who is passionate about spreading awareness about borderline personality disorder and dismantling the stigma around it. She was featured on the YouTube channel, Soft White Underbelly, where she discusses her inspiring story. Shana is also a model and an actress based in Detroit, Michigan. Welcome Shana. Thank you so much for joining us today. Hello. Hello. Thank you for having me. It is a pleasure to be here. Of course. We're so excited. So can you tell us a little bit about yourself and your background? Sure. Yeah, absolutely. So again, my name is Shana. Like you said, I model. I act. I've been born and raised in Detroit my whole life. I'm 23. I'll be 24 in November. So I'm a Scorpio. Oh, me too. Oh, awesome. Yeah, November 7th. I'll be 24 then. So yeah, yeah. Got that coming up. I'm going to Florida this year for my birthday. So I'm getting ready for that. Gonna go to South Beach, Miami. So I'm going to Orlando. I'm going to EDC. Excuse my cat. I've never been. You love cats here at Psych2Go. No, they'll be all in the back. Yeah, no, I'm going to EDC. It's like a music festival slash radio. So it'll be my first time out of state. So yeah, I'm really excited. That is so amazing. Lucky you. So starting off, when were you diagnosed with borderline personality disorder? So I was diagnosed really way back in like 2018. I started seeing a psychiatrist because so well, I also didn't really get to touch base on on the Softlight Underbelly video, which is really not which I love that video, by the way. It's great. So much. I appreciate it. So I've actually been dealing with ADD since I was like very young. So I do have to take a medication for that. I have to take like Adderall for that. So for ADHD? Yes, I, but you know, that hasn't really been like this. I've been dealing with that. That's not really doesn't really bother me. I mean, I have little symptoms, but oh, sorry about that. I'm a freaking cat. You're fine. You know, I have my symptoms of that, but that's it probably has an impact though. Yeah, definitely. Yeah, it can make things a little more intense than they need to be sometimes. Like, I just my mind and then the top of my, you know, my anxiety and then my board life is just sometimes it can get a little chaotic. But um, yeah, I see my psychiatrist. She she diagnosed me because yeah, we I pretty much told her talk, you know, talked about how I was feeling, you know, my symptoms. I brought it up to her. I pretty much told her that I think I might, you know, be a candidate for such. So we yeah, we did an appointment with that and I got diagnosed. It was I kind of seen it coming though. It was one of those things. Like I said, like I wanted to ask her, you know, like her opinion on it. And you know, I just something that I kind of all like I just knew I was always like it was more than just depression. It was more than just anxiety attacks. Like it was way more than that, you know, yeah, so I um, yeah, all of you always trust your gut to you know, you know, I just one of the things I trust in my good. I knew I had to talk to somebody about it because I knew I wasn't going crazy. Absolutely. And was it difficult for us? Like when you heard that diagnosis, like you have this, did it make you feel like how did you feel about it? So surprisingly, it wasn't as difficult as I thought it was more so kind of in a sense reassuring again, it was already new. And it was like if it wasn't that then what was it? So in a sense, it was like, again, I expected it. Like I it was something that I kind of just had a good feeling about, you know, doing my research and whatnot. Once I noticed like things were just not the same for me as they were for other people. So I again, just trusted my gut feeling, you know, talk to her about it and then we got answers. So it was just more so reassuring for me just because I again, it was something I knew kind of in my heart. Was it almost like a sense of relief? Like maybe I'll get the help now. That's awesome. I love that. Yeah. So, you know, it still was like, okay, you know, now I have to, it was like a wake up call. Like now I know that it's here and we know it's here. Like now what, you know, but yeah, it was still a sense of relief. And so you said that you feel like you knew like deep down inside that you had it. Why? So like what were like the symptoms you were exhibiting? So mainly I noticed like it was how it's like, so my emotions are just like, like, I don't get angry like a regular person. I don't get sad like a regular person. Like I noticed everything since I was a child is just intensified. Like everything is just intensified. Everything is just times 10. Like if someone like it would be the littlest, you know, I was always extra sensitive over like the smallest things. I'd always have like freakouts over like things that I've noticed most people don't really freak out over. So, you know, it was just those kind of things. I was like, okay, I'm sorry. I feel like there's something different or something wrong here because like why am I so angry about something that I shouldn't be this upset about? Like if I were to get into it with the, you know, like my significant other, like I just, I get like, it's a rage. Like I almost black out. It's like it's not even me. Like the emotions are just overwhelming. Yeah. It's overwhelming. It's like, it's like a rush of just unneeded adrenaline. Like it's just too much. Yeah. And so on that, how did you struggle due to borderline personality disorder and how has it impacted your relationships? So what I really struggle with is again, my emotions, my thinking can be a little more like I overthink a lot. So that can also affect my relationships to like, you know, my current relationship, my friendships, which my friends, you know, they're all very like supportive, like they already know like what's up. So I love that. Yeah. So I don't really like is more so my own battles. And that's another problem. Like it's, it's never my friends. It's never anybody and I'm very like self-aware. So with me being self-aware of my issues, it's like, I, it's like, I know what's wrong. I just, like, I know that I'm mad of my own personal issues or what I'm going through or because of how I'm feeling. But it's like, I, my mind still won't allow me to like go hang out that day or not be, you know, not dissociate, like I'll hang out, I'll dissociate because like I'm so in my mind or I feel like there's like something wrong or, you know, I'm, and that's something I've also been working on, you know, like having like the extra anxiety is like my anxiety has been my biggest issue lately, like in the past year, since I've known the video has been about a year since I did the video for self-aware underbelly and my anxiety has been getting like really bad. Oh, so, and so do you have intrusive thoughts as well? Like just really intrusive thoughts? Yeah, absolutely. And why do you think your anxiety got worse after the video? I don't think it was necessarily anything like with the video. I think it was just something like I've noticed and then now that I'm like, I've noticed it, it's just kind of like I'm, now I'm always like, I think it's just something that I'm always like kind of noticing now. It's like, I don't know, I just kind of was like, oh, like I just been really anxious lately and then I kind of just been anxious ever, I don't know, like it's, it's weird. Yeah. Like I just been anxious just for no reason, like I'll, I don't know, like I'll wake up and then it's like, I'll find something to be anxious about all of a sudden and I don't know why, like I have no idea where it came from. I think I really just, I think it's just something that I eventually needed to work on that's just coming out of the box, you know, and something else I have to work on. So do you feel like you're more like self-aware, self-conscious about yourself? Absolutely. And that's like another reason why I knew I was a possible candidate for borderline because like I just, I'm very self-aware. I've always been self-aware. And that's also an issue though, because I'm so self-aware that my ego, I feel like, like makes me feel like I don't need therapy. That is my biggest challenge right now, trying to get myself back into therapy. It's like, you would think, you know, oh, just go to therapy, you know, it can be really difficult because it's hard to find the right therapist. Especially when again, like, you're self-aware and it's like, well, I already kind of have a, like, I kind of know what's going on. I know what's wrong. I know why I do these things. I don't, you know, my back of my mind is like, I don't need somebody else telling me, you know, how to do stuff, how to, you know, how to think, you know, I already know, you know, it's kind of a go battle, you know, battle with yourself mainly. Yeah, but it can be hard because you want to find a therapist who may be like, Taylor's to like, who understands and sometimes it's hard to do that, or someone who's going to give you, you know, sometimes they're therapists who talk too much or don't talk enough. Right. Yeah, it's like, yeah, it can be hard to find a good therapist too. Yeah, absolutely. And then what treatment options have worked for you though? Like, you mentioned that right now you're not in therapy, but what has worked for you? So at the moment, again, I'm not in therapy. I did stop taking my medication that was, that was prescribed to me about two years ago. No, but um, I've stopped, I stopped taking that. That's another thing I, I don't know why I did, but I talked about that in the soft buy under belly video as well. But um, so my medication, I'll be completely honest and everyone, you know, feels how they feel. And it is what it is. If I'm not like, I usually smoke like that, like marijuana. That's my everyday, like, you know, a blended day type of girl. But I've also been for the past like almost two years now getting into, you know, magic mushrooms and psychedelics. I feel like, you know, it doesn't have to be like a, you know, a big trip or, you know, a bunch of like, you know, it's, you can micro dose, like micro dosing. It has been proven to really help with like depression and anxiety, you know, mental health in general. And I can vouch for, for my experience, you know, I might micro dose like once a while, just to kind of clear my mind, refresh like my mindset, you know, it really does help out a lot. And it's helped you. Like what, what symptoms have you noticed or like, has it helped with like anger? It makes me like think clear. Like I feel like I can think more clear when I, um, like micro dose. I feel like, um, I'm not like anxious for no reason. Like I can genuinely get like a peace of mind and feel more like relaxed and, you know, enjoy, like be grateful about the little things when you also have like mental health, like extreme, like borderline personality, it can be hard to be like grateful about things sometimes, because it's like you, like at the moment, you know, I'm going through financial issues at the moment. Like I was just on the, you know, just talking to my boyfriend about how I just so like stressed. And then I'm so like, I'm so overworked. It's, it's so like, like I can't even sink, right? I can't like, I'm, I'm not happy, but you know, like, at least I have a roof over my head. I have a car, you know, I bring it. I need a new one, but you know, like I still try to be grateful about the little things. And that's amazing. It's amazing that like you're working so hard and that you're dealing with your mental health issues, but despite that, you're working so hard and, you know, doing your thing. So I commend you for that. That's awesome. Thank you. Thank you. Absolutely. And so you said that, so there's a big stigma and I think you know this with borderline personality disorder, the stigma is that people with B.B.T. are over sexual, violent, crazy. How do you feel like the stigmas harm, you know, people who have B.B.T. because I think those stigmas are harmful and they're usually inaccurate. I know, especially because like that's, you know, and everyone's different. Yeah. Like I can just at least for my case, that's, I'll tell you what, I'm definitely not over sexual. I think it would be the complete opposite. Like I'm so like in my mind all the time, I don't want to be over sexual. You know, I'm so like, yeah, I get angry and violent, but it's never like, it's like I still have a conscious. Like I'm still an empath. Like I still have like, like, like, I'm still content. Like, you know, I'm still like, I'm aware, like, I'm like, I have empathy still. So like, I'm not about to sit here and like get extra violent and want to like, I've never put my hands like on a boyfriend or my friends. I've never done anything like that. I'm like, I don't, you know, I've never been overly violent. The most like, I'll get like, I'm, you know, like, if I'm really angry and having like a really bad like breakdown, I might like toss my own furniture, but it wouldn't ever be, and I haven't done that in years. It wouldn't be like ever at nobody or, you know, never, like I don't, you know, I'm not like, I guess like I'm angry at myself. So why, why would I be angry at other places? Like I have no reason to just lash out on people. Exactly. That way, like, I'm more mad at myself than anybody. So it's like, it's a me thing, you know, that's just for me. Like I, you know, some people maybe don't have a control on that or don't want to have a better control on that. I do. So I make a conscious decision to like, you know, somewhat, you know, obviously not every time is going to be great, but you know, somewhere have a, you know, a ground level. And I love that you brought that up because that is like the misconception and the stigma. And I even heard like in this podcast, someone talk about like, Oh, people in the media are like, in movies and shows, the way they portray people with borderline and someone mentioned fatal attraction and boiling bunnies. I'm like, that's so harmful. And it's so stigmatizing and disgusting. And it's inaccurate. Like what you said, like psychosis and like, like real mental issues, like, you know, borderline, like, which technically, if you look it up, they say borderline personality is borderline, you know, that's why it's called that borderline psychosis. But I don't like, I think people like use that and then take it farther. Like it's more so episodes. Like, I'm like, you know, I feel like people, like you say, like, over stigmatizing is giving, you know, like that's more so someone with severe like mental issues that should be, you know, in a getting treatment like that, that don't sound like, you know, people with BBT like BPD is not, we don't, you know, we don't, you know, I don't know, it doesn't get like that. It's more so just like, again, for me personally, it's like, what's the word I'm with? I just said it too. It's like, you know, it's just, it happens. Like it doesn't, it's just, it kind of just comes and goes. Like it's kind of hard to explain, but you know, it's definitely not. Yeah, I agree. I don't know why people make it such. Yeah, you're still be final, of course. I'm fine, you know, I don't need like to be in the psych ward, like I'm okay, you know, you mentioned a really good point that like the name of the disorder borderline is maybe that's why sometimes people think that way. Do you think they should change it? Do you think it would help if they change the name? Because borderline makes it sound intense. Yeah, like your border on the spectrum, like no. Like, yeah. And it's like, right now, I don't, you know, I'm, you know, I'm not like a doctor. I wouldn't know what else to like really call it. I'm sure if I would have thought about it, I could think of a name maybe to call it, but definitely borderline is, I think pushing pushing you a little bit. Yeah, so episode of like, you know, it's like how they, it's like how they change the name from okay, so like how it used to be multiple personality disorder and they change it to disassociative. I think that's what they change it to. I'm not sure, but I know they change the name. I think that with borderline, it would help to actually change it because I think that's why the stigma exists because the name is so dramatic. Absolutely. I agree 100%. I think the name is definitely just dramatic borderline personality disorder. Like, it's just more so again, I just, I feel, we feel things more intensely than others. Like, that's literally, yeah, feel the big difference. Like, I'm more so I'm, I'm more liable to like half depressive episodes. I'm more liable to like have panic attacks. I'm more liable to have anxiety, which is pretty much, you know, I'm, I'm just, I can, I can lash out of like, you know, it's just things that are different. Like my mind operates a little different, but you know, exactly. And you shouldn't be marginalized or stigmatized for that. As an alien, like, oh, borderline. A lot of people honestly have like, not everyone is perfect. So there's, there's something with, you know, everybody grannies, is it to that extent? No. But you know, like, everyone's different. Yeah. Like, and I feel like there's a lot of more people that are coming out, like that are actually borderline. And then like, you, you never would have knew like a lot of people, like a lot of my friends, you know, they watched the video, they were like, wow, like, I never would have knew you even had that or we're going through that. It's like, yeah, because I'm not, I'm not like the stereotype. Like the harmful stereotype. Exactly. So that brings me to our audience segment where we answer your viewer questions. I'm super excited. And so Lauren asked, Shauna, have you ever been bullied for having borderline personality disorder? No, not for having borderline. No, have I went through like, an elementary middle school and high like, have I had like moments where I've been bullied because of like, my emotions or it's usually because of my emotions too, which is funny. Like, I'll just, like, I'll get bullied for being like over sensitive to a certain situation. I know that sounds strange, but I really would, you know, I would get bullied for like, lashing out, like, and, and like, you know, I'm not lashing out, but you know, like, I'll like, get into it with a teacher or I'll cry, like, you know, like, I would like little stuff like that, you know, and it would be by my so-called friends too, but at the time, I didn't even know I had it. So no, it's never specifically been for that. And then the people who do know, you know, which is mostly everybody now, everyone that does know has been very supportive. So no, as an, you know, as an adult, no, nobody has ever, you know, bullied you. So Victoria, this is a great question, actually. How was it for you when you first told someone about your diagnosis? So actually, crazy, crazy, crazy story. I, the only person that knew about my diagnosis before I made the video was my boyfriend. And he, I mean, it was just, it was always, you know, it's that, you know, like, this is what it is, you know, that's not something I always gave from the option. If it's not something that, you know, you don't have to stay with me. You don't have to deal with like, you know, I'm not trying, like, you don't have to, that's not fair to you to like, you know, I should at least tell you, you know, before I tell everybody else. So, you know, he made the decision to, you know, be with me. So we're still together. As far as everyone else, everyone knew from when I made that video. And yeah, when I, the video came out again, I've, I had support. I didn't really get too many like, questions or for like, nobody really like came like bombarding me with a bunch of questions. It was just support. If anything, I just got a lot of like, um, inboxes of pretty much like, supporting me. That's amazing. It's really, it's because you're being, um, you're inspiring other people. And I think people really see that and it resonates, right? Definitely. And so then Lollipop asked, has anyone ever thought you faked your disorder? Have you ever gotten that like through the internet or just in real life? Um, I wouldn't, no, no one has ever like said, oh, you're faking it. But I did have a group of friends who I'm no longer friends with that group. Um, I do believe at a point, granted, they didn't, you know, know the extent of, um, my issues. And I was still figuring out what was going on too. This is before I got diagnosed. Um, I think they didn't like think I was serious about my mental, like I think they thought like I was like playing around about my mental health, that I was like lying, you know, like that I was trying like saying things to like not hang out or trying to lie. You know, I definitely get that feeling that they, because that's kind of why we, we're not friends. They kind of didn't really understand like what was going on. Like, you know, and it's okay. You don't have to understand. It was the way they were going about it. They weren't very nice to me about it. So, um, yeah, no, they've, um, I don't think they ever like saw I was lying to my, like they never said it to my face, but I don't know. I've always felt like that's pretty much why I'm not friends with them no more. But no, I've never had anybody come up to me and tell me, you know, like I think you're lying or anybody inbox me that or any comments. So I would hope not. I have no reason to. So, but you know, everyone's has their own opinion. Well, it is what it is. Absolutely. And then, um, Troy asks, how did your family react when they found out you had BPD? Um, honestly, so my parents specifically might like my parents. That was who I was worried about the most. My other family, I don't really have a lot of family members. So the ones that did find out again, all support, my parents did it not support, like they supported me, but if you see the video, you kind of got a glimpse of how they can be. So it was a little, you know, like, Oh, well, why did you make the video? Like you kind of made like, they were more concerned about them, how they looked, you know, and that's an issue. Really? Like they were concerned about their image? Yes. They've been doing that for a while though. Like they, they do that. They can, they do that often, which I love my parents, but you know, they've, there's always kind of been a thing with them. Like if it makes them look bad and, you know, which my parents have done a lot for me, but I think the issue with my parents are that, um, they think me speaking on, um, a trauma for me or something that I might have went through as a child back then, they take it as disrespect or me like knocking down their, like their sacrifices they made, which I've never done. I've never said that I like, they're the horrible, the worst parents ever. I've never said that I, they have done a lot for me. You know, they have kept the roof over me and my brother's head. Like, you know, like that's all very true, but you know, just a classic case of, um, tad bit narcissism. Does it feel invalidating in a lot of ways? You know, cause it's like, I'm not trying to come for you. Like I love you. I'm still here talking to you. And they have to, yeah, you're allowed to tell your story. Yeah. I can still tell my story. Like, you know, absolutely. And then vice shawl asked, have you often dissociated from yourself? How do you cope with it? Yes, often. Um, how I cope with it, honestly, it's, I have to push myself. If I don't like push myself to like, um, clean the house, go outside, go talk to friends, you know, I can probably sit in my living room all day feeling absolutely nothing, feeling numb to the world. Like there has been recently, I just recently, like two days ago, I'm still kind of getting back out of like that mode because I was just in that mode. Like nothing feels right. Nothing feels real. You know, I don't want to, like everything just feels kind of weird. You know, I definitely, again, how I cope with it, I, it's a push. Like honestly, like if, if you don't push yourself to cope, it's not going to, they're not going to, you got to push. That's really, absolutely. And then have you ever, um, so they asked the mask and I asked Sean, have you ever ruined a relationship when you were splitting? I'm not sure if we discussed the concept of splitting and BPD. Did you want to touch on that real quick? Um, we can. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So my, so I, the most, I'm trying to, I'm trying to think because I've really only had like bad BPD and two relationships. The relationship that I was in previously, the one that I'm in now, um, have I ruined the last relationship because of it? No, we broke up because that, you know, we just, we, I grew up with each other. We just had different paths. That's, that's really why we, um, broke up. Now, have I ruined this real, um, no, but do I feel like it? And do I tell him that? Yes, I do feel like when I kind of lose myself a little bit that, um, yeah, I do feel like I can be, I did not literally just have this conversation with him. Like, I feel like I can be like a bad girlfriend. I feel like I can like ruin things. I feel like I'm ruining your happiness. Like I don't want to do that. Like I feel bad. Like I feel like I ruin things, but he claims it's not true. Do I think that's true? Not really, but you know. And then Ritza asked, when experiencing rage, how can others best support you in that moment? I think this is a great question. Yeah. So I actually, I know it's crazy is I get that, um, I've actually gotten that before somebody asked me that because they're friend, like asking for a friend that has BPD. So, um, yeah, I actually get that a lot. But, um, so honestly, unfortunately, sometimes, like you, you got to kind of like for me, I have to go through my emotions. Like I, I sometimes, sometimes, you know, I just need to calm down, maybe smoke a blunt or go for a walk. You know, sometimes I just need to breathe. Other times, like I'll be so much built up that it's, you know, and it's as scary as it can be to watch or as like sad, it can be to watch like somebody care about like experience these like intense emotions. Sometimes, you know, it's just best like to like for me, I need to feel those emotions and let it out. Like if I need to cry for 30 minutes straight and just scream and cry, that's just sometimes what I need to do. And, you know, once I let it out, I'll feel better. You know, I can then I'll probably be able to talk about a little more because like that's another thing with me. It's hard for me to talk in that moment. Like when somebody, you know, all like, what's wrong? Like I can't always, like I don't have the words at the moment. Like I just, I need to feel like I just need to feel right now. That's the only thing I need to do. And after, once I can feel and validate my feelings, like in my emotions, then I can probably explain it better. Absolutely. And then motivational ask this is, I'm going to just say trigger warning because this is a difficult question. And it might be upsetting to you. So just a trigger warning before I ask, motivational ask, can you ask Shauna if she has ever engaged in self harm? My ex had borderline personality disorder and sometimes she would cut. This is a very difficult question and you don't have to answer it. But yeah, this is what she asked. So, you know, I don't, I don't mind. So I having, I used to, yes, I've never really like, I've never really been like a cutter though. Like I've had a experience in middle school where I like try to harm myself. And then I think when I was like 20, when I first moved into this apartment, I did try to like cut my like self harm. And then I also like had a lot of suicidal thoughts. So no, like, yeah, that's definitely a thing, you know, it's different for everybody. Some people, I've, I've been dealing with suicidal thoughts for a long time. But I'm also like, I'm spiritual. So I, you know, I do tarot and stuff. So it's like, I have a, I have a different, and this is just me personally, for me, what made me kind of calm down on the suicidal thought, which I still get trust, like every time I get in my modes, I like, I want to like, I can't do it. Like I literally just don't want to be here right now. But I haven't tried to like do any physical harm lately, but that's because I, I have a new, you know, I'm going through like a theory with this, like I have a thing with like, I know in my heart and soul, I'm not ready to die yet. Like, and I know now that's powerful. Yeah, I just, I know it like again, that's just me, you know, I do spirit like again, I'm in to tarot. So like, you know, you know, the people that know, you know, if you were into it, you get it. You know, it's just I'm, I know like mine's like, I'm just, I'm not ready for it. So that's what kind of keeps me here. And I also, I don't think I'm ready to see what's after this, you know, like I don't, you know, I have my own beliefs. So I just, I don't know what's after this. So that keeps me here. That keeps me grounded. It's really powerful and courageous that you like admitted to that. We appreciate it. And thank you for like, you know, inspiring others because that's, you know, it's really, it takes a lot of courage to like admit that. It really does. Yeah, thank you. Absolutely. Of course. And then how do you see yourself? This is Nevin's question. How do you see yourself if you were alone with these issues and how would you treat yourself? So that's a good question. Hmm. How do I see myself if I were alone? Um, I think about that a lot. So like, that's, that's why it's a good question. I think about that a lot. And I'll be honest, I don't know if I even have an answer for myself, like, for that yet. I don't, I think like sometimes I feel like, you know, I would probably like, you know, if I'm not in a relationship or if I'm alone, if I was to be single at the moment, you know, I have this big plan on my head that, you know, I used to dance. Like I'll, I just go start dancing again and I'll just go make a bunch of money and then money will keep me happy and I'll see my friends and then maybe I won't feel so alone. But realistically, I know that's probably not how it would happen. I think once a while I'd probably be sitting on this couch all day crying. I definitely would have been having my moments and I don't really, um, yeah, I don't know if that would always be good or bad for me. I'll be honest, I really don't. But, um, how I would treat myself again, I probably just try to keep myself at work. If I don't need one to be home, I try to keep myself out. If I, if I need to be home, I would try to stay home. I try to, you know, do what I best can do if I were by myself. I guess still try to do me. The best I know how to. Awesome. Just taking it day by day. Absolutely. And then Samantha asked, um, how does ADHD interfere with BPD and do you still take Adderall for it? Yes, I do still take my Adderall for it. So it doesn't, um, really affect, like, too, too much. But the day it's like, you know, I'm not every day. Like I say, like if, like Adderall is more so like when I need to like get things done, like when I, when I know I have a productive day, which is usually almost every day, like I have, like, you know, if I got to go to work, like, which is again, easy almost every day, you know, how, you know, I got to take my medicine. But, um, you know, like if I'm chilling, you know, like, doesn't really affect me. It just, it's more so like, I'm an overthinker. Like it just keeps me overthinking. Like, I just, I'll consistently just, if it all gets bad together, I just, I just overthink more. Like that's really the only thing I've noticed. Like I just feel like I have to go, like do like, I'll look at my house and I'll be like, oh, my house looks so messy and then I'll get into like a big like thing and then I'll get upset and then I'll just start like, and it's like, I'll do all this complaining about how the house is messy. I'm so angry that I, I don't even clean the house, you know, like it's unproductive. So it's just a big mess. Like that's really the only thing it's like, if so much going on, you would think that ADHD would like make me want to start doing stuff. No, I just want to collapse. Like, you know what? I just, like, I miss too much. And then Elsa asked, how would you suggest reconciling with someone who has BPD if they keep going silent after a lash out on you and do they still view you badly through, though you were only, I don't know what the last part says, but you were only the last drop. Yeah. So I'm just gonna say, how do you reconcile with someone who has BPD and has lashed out on you, who's recently lashed out on you? So I would try to, you know, and it is no excuse, like, you know, BPD or not, like, you know, like, you got to still try to make the conscious like decision to, like on your lash outs, like, you know, like, again, that's something that I've really worked on a lot. So, you know, try not to blame them too much. You know, especially if you know the happy PD, like, it's, you know, give them that benefit of the doubt. But you know, also, don't be scared to hold them accountable. Like, some people just are can't get, you know, and if they're the type of person that use hold them accountable, they're not going to like it, then that's their demons. But you know, how do you know, just be there for them, you know, let them know that you still care about them, but also let them know that, you know, you're feeling still did get hurt in the process. Like, if they lashed out on you, like, I tell my boyfriend and my friends, like, if I'm ever coming at, like, please let me know, like, I want to talk about it, like, I, you know, I never mean to do that. Like, it's for me, again, I'm an empath. Most, I feel like I've noticed a lot of people would be BPD or like empaths. So it's like, we don't mean it. Most of them, I never mean it for real. Like, it probably just wasn't, you know, in her right mind, but still hold that person accountable, you know, like, I love that. Yeah, absolutely. And then let's see. Last question. When faced with challenges or difficult, Kazane, sorry, Kazane asked when faced with challenges or difficult situations, how do you typically cope and find solutions? So when I'm going through difficult challenges, I'm trying to get back into my meditating, meditating really well. That's a good coping strategy. Definitely, definitely get into your meditating. I don't know if, you know, anyone's in the chakras, if you are getting to that, that goes hand in hand with meditating. I honestly try to, it's like, I have to revert my mind back. Like, I just, it's more so when I cope, I usually have to, I have to take some steps back and reflect. Like that's, that's really like how I cope. Like I reflect more so. So if I'm faced with a difficult situation, it's like, especially if I know, like again, for example, now, like I have a lot of financials, I still have to like get done, like in the next like week or two, you know, it's like, am I going to sit here and keep crying and keep like stressing myself out, keep overthinking, keep, you know, being upset, am I going to keep letting my mind get this way or am I going to shed a few tears, suck it up, tough it up and just do what, you know, do what every other person has to do and make it work. You know, like when it like, it's just, you got to get up. Like, yeah, it's just like, how do you, it's more so finding a way of like, how do I get up and like fix this? Because at the end of the day, it's still like, no matter what, like you're not going to change unless you make those changes. Like things aren't going to get better. Like no one's going to come down and save you. Unfortunately, I wish it worked like that. It just doesn't, you know, so, you know, you still got to get up. You still got to adult. I know adulting is get up, but you still got to do it. It's hard. It's just, but you know, it's hard. It's just unfortunately, it's hard. And the world doesn't see like, oh, you know, unfortunately the world isn't like, oh, you know, I know you're having mental health problems and I know you do with mental health problems. So we're going to make this a little eat. Like it just, it doesn't work like that. Like, you got to, you got to cope. You got to figure out what works best for you and go from there. You have to be like your own advocate. Yeah, I love that. You don't, no one else will. Well, thank you, Shauna, for being an advocate for borderline personality disorder and inspiring so many people. Like you don't understand like the impact you're making. Like everyone on Psych2Go is going to see this. Thousands of people on Psych2Go millions on software underbelly. You're helping so many people. So thank you for joining us today. Absolutely. No, thank you for having me. I really never, I love talking about, you know, mental health when it comes to, like you said, being an advocate just because I, I didn't, I've been through it all. I know how it feels and I am still going through it. Like still, I don't know when it will get better for me, but like I'm still going to keep pushing through, keep doing me, keep paying my bills and keep trying to evolve to be the best me that I can be. And that's amazing and empowering. Yes, thank you. And thank you to our amazing viewers at Psych2Go for joining us for this episode of Psychology Roundtable. Until the next one. Bye. Bye guys. Thank you again.