 Hi, this is Jan Brearden and I am the host of the Kindest Connection which is a fabulous show that we are able to air every third Thursday of each month and this particular Thursday here in March on March 17th I have two very very special guests near and dear to my heart. I've enjoyed every show so far but the fact that I have the guests that I have with me today means a great deal to me and I just wanted to be able to introduce Jan and Mike's, my brother Mike and his wife Jennifer Reardon's children. I have Josh Reardon here and he is 14 years old and I have Avery Reardon here and she is 16. So today we are going to discuss very openly and looking forward to having a nice conversation. Oops I'm sorry I left out Aspen Reardon over here. This cute little she is my other niece and we'd love to have Aspen here with us as well and we have all our sparky Kindest Bears thanks to Vermont Teddy Bear. They created this bear in honor of Jennifer Reardon for her mantra of being kind, loving, caring, and sharing so we have Kindest Bears that have brought a lot of compassion and love to many many people. Vermont Teddy Bear has been fabulous with endorsing the mantra that Jen had and so today we're going to talk about being able to look at kindness through a young adult's perspective. You know as adults we might have some preconceived notion of what kindness means but I think it's really important to know how that begins and how in this day and age with all of the bullying going on in schools and just the world is obviously in a tough place right now and how young adults can really make a difference in the world. So I'd like to start by just asking my first question to Avery and to Josh and we'll take it from there but I'd like to begin with you Josh if I may and just ask you what your definition of kindness is. Kindest to me is really just what you put out in the world is what comes back to you in a kind way and if you put out something that's kind in a in a very nice and polite way or you just you're there for somebody yes it's the best way to to just have happiness and kindness in the world and every day we strive to make the world a better place so just by helping hand is always the biggest part of kindness and so yeah that's what I think and I believe it's beautiful that's a great perspective. Avery what are your thoughts on what kindness is the definition of kindness to you? I would say it's not always the big things in life but just the little things you do for people like holding the door complimenting them or just being respectful towards people. Very nice I love it I love it let's see what else we have here how do you how do you feel as though kindness has impacted your life Josh? So in my life like it's a I grew up with a fortunate very lucky to have two great parents that raised me amazingly and so kindness to me would be anything that they do for me to to help me or to come from me like it could be making me breakfast it could be buying me a bat it could be like giving me a ride to school like it's all like like Avery said it's like the little things in in life that people do for you that you don't really understand and a lot of people don't a lot of people take it for granted and I always try to think about how that is impacting my life. A lot of people overlook those little things that happen and when you stop and think about it it really fills you up to know how other people care about you and how much that can make you feel better about yourself as well. How about you Avery what would you say? I would say that with the kindness that I'm given I'm able to share it with other people so with having such kind parents and people around me who really care and love for me they think it's really easy for me to take how they love me and show that towards other people. Perfect that makes a big difference yeah. Josh how would you say that kindness could help to reduce bullying in school? That's a great question so bullying in schools is not a good thing obviously and it's hard for a lot of people to go through something who's bullying you because you feel like you don't have help sometimes but when someone's getting bullied the bully always has something going on with them to make them feel this way to make them want to hurt other people and so if you show them more kindness than like you know how to show you just give them as much kindness as possible I feel that that can really fix a lot of bullies' mentalities to the way they treat people so yeah. Good how about you Avery what would you say could be done to reduce bullying? Yeah I agree with Josh I think that instead of having harsh reactions to bullies with putting them in detention or kind of I don't know just giving them harsh words it should be like things that they could do to be kind towards community and if you see that someone is being bullied I think that as kids we should step in first and try to give them ways to be kind to others because we're the same age so we know how to connect to that or we can help more than like if older people have to get involved it might be different from the point of view so I think point to showing kindness to them and showing them ways to be kind to two people instead of one. So Josh what do you could you give us an example of something that you have done or has been done to you or both regarding kindness or compassion or understanding like what comes to mind for you? So like I said I grew up in a very kind family that just always was there for me whenever I needed anything so I don't think that there's one really big thing that sticks out that was the kindness I think that everything that is done for me is just done with such care kindness and so I'm very fortunate to have that a lot of people don't have that and I want them to have that and that's like one of the main reasons for this podcast and for this TV show sorry and my dad's foundation that's like one of the main purposes of it is to just go out of the world and show people that there are good people out here that care for them that want them to be good so yeah but there's not just one big thing it's everything that I do for other people mostly and everything that's done to me that could be making you awful or giving me a boat ride or anything that is just something that to be grateful for and I'm grateful every day for everything that I ever have and sometimes when I'm not grateful I just think about the the times that I need to be grateful the things that I have and there's a lot of unfortunate people out there which is really unfortunate so I think that just life my life is very kind and caring and blessed right how do you think you can carry that forward into the community so that more people will have just even a bit of that in their heart so yeah so that's kind of what the foundation is all about it's really just giving to people that don't have kindness in their life or they're just feeling down and they just can't get themselves back together so giving is just a very great thing I think that our foundation really displays that can you tell us a little bit more about the foundation so our family's motto was always to be kind loving caring and sharing and so so my dad started a foundation for my mom it's about just giving back to the community what they gave to us and really just displaying how kind our albuquerque is really because albuquerque is a great city to live in and we just want to display how it is and I think we're 26th we're the 26th kind of city in the world we're in the in the country so we're trying to get to number one but I mean it's just to just be kind to people it always lightens their day it makes people feel happy that's awesome I mean what do you think as far as you know either a kind act that you've done or somebody has done for you to get you to where you are today yeah like I said I think it's the small things I don't think there's one big thing that stands out kind of like you all said right but I think what the foundation is doing is are the really big things that stand out to me like giving back to our community or my team for volleyball we go do food drives and stuff like that so I think those things just giving back to the community like even if you're not hands-on with someone I'm helping them on the street just being able to go to Roadrunner Food Bank is a great place to go to package meals for homeless and it could be as big as that we're just holding the door for someone exactly thank you yeah I love it Josh how about um let me see how I really wonder what the word is but what would you say you can do when you're not really feeling kind and it happens to all of us we can't deny that there are moments when we're down and it's a little bit more challenging to be harder to be kind at that time how can you be kind under stress and under duress because that's when I think other people lash out and that's what we have to diffuse so how do you do that yourself so to me this is kind of like a personal question because everybody handles it differently so to think about now for me there I have a lot of stuff that I could just think about and be grateful for and that gets me back in the kindest mood but I want to talk about people that don't have exactly stuff to be grateful for and I've always wondered how they get back to be because there's a lot of kind of people out there that really they could not be kind if they if they like because of their situation exactly but they are and so for me what I think happens is is they they they find hope they find hope for themselves they find hope for others they find they find a way to be kind in a hopeful way and so much is giving them a dollar to go get food or giving them a meal or giving them a drink or giving them a pillow or giving them a blanket right just all these things just puts hope in their soul to go another day to survive another day and move on keep progressing right small increments like that right doesn't look too far ahead just kind of stay in that moment and try to feel better because I feel that it always works out the long run for those people definitely that's great how about you Avery um I would say that it is hard for me to be kind whenever I am in a hard tough situation or I'm not I'm stressed about school so I think the first thing I need to do is be kind to myself and take a moment to just have some self-care within myself take care of my body take care of my mental state and until then just kind of be as kind as I can to people just instead of I don't I don't have to go out of my way to be kind to them instead be kind to myself first but don't be rude to them and just kind of let them do their thing until I figure out my thing and then I can go back to going out of my way to be kind to them right that's good that's healthy that's what we need to do and that makes for a better community better relationships better friendships so let's see Aves can you tell us a little bit about the junior board and what the goals are for is you're involved and maybe just tell us a little bit about the Jennifer Rubin Foundation given your role as a member of the junior board yeah so uh the first meeting we have for the junior board was kind of a while ago um we haven't really met again since then but I remember at that meeting we did talk about doing things for a home lesson um food drives and stuff like that um we also picked a um from profit to give money to and I feel like that is a great way to help in the community there's a lot of um profits out there that are helping and instead of being hands on with people and if you don't want to do volunteer work and if you have you are fortunate enough giving money to our people who are helping others it is a great way to help the community definitely yeah it's good how about you Jeff what what is your take as far as your role and how it impacts the community by what you do on the Jennifer Rubin Foundation junior board yeah so me and Avery uh we came to that with idea of a junior board and he was hands on with it he said to do is a great idea and so we run it out of the Albuquerque community foundation building and yeah so Avery kind of covered it it's a non-profit we give it out to a non-profit almost like every six months I'd like to say and that's just really a way to it's me and Avery's way to be a part of what on that is created and really give back to the community as a young kid or as a young adult right so to give back to the community in a different way uh as a board uh it's really best good do you feel as though your friends have noticed a difference in you now that you are so focused on sharing kindness so you'd have to ask that question but uh I feel that it's in yourself yeah I feel that I have become more of a kind person uh because of our foundation because of what you're doing like every uh every person that just wants to help just warms my heart because this is really what my mom would want exactly so uh this is just really warms my heart so yeah perfect I love it how about you Avery um I would say yeah I would say before I was kind but I think I'm very more like approach to it and I I understand how to be kind to people if I see someone down I can cheer them up and just more prone to it good yeah and how about at school Josh are there any programs that are in place that revolve around kindness or sharing compassionate you know understanding ways so we go to a me and Avery both go to a great school Avery's a sophomore I'm an eighth grader and uh so we go to a very uh fortunate school in a way that they want you to be kind to others they want you to uh be yourself they don't want you to just be another kid they want you to grow as a human being as yourself and not as anybody else and uh so they have so many like different clubs in there and uh you can join any of them there is a kindness club at our school and they do do a lot of stuff for the community I think uh kindness does start with the community in my opinion uh actually kind of start for yourself then goes to your community but yeah so our school has a kindness club and they're just they go around and they're just very kind to other people sometimes they give a cookie to the kid that's sad or sometimes just the little things like Avery said that really like the kids they wouldn't feel that good I love it how about you Avery what do you say about the school as far as some different programs that are in place that help yeah um there's a another club called Helping Hands that I was with last year and one of the little things that we did was during the food drive um for the elderly people um we went and we gave roses and just a nice card to the people um just to lighten their day just something small to do for them also our school is connected with the app so everyone at our school is they see an act of kindness they're able to walk it so I think that's our school is doing really good involving kindness throughout wonderful and do you find that that's the case at most schools or is that unusual yeah I feel like some schools um are doing better with kindness and our app is actually connected towards some schools um throughout Albuquerque um there are some schools that have difficulty with it because of the students or just the district that it's in but um I feel like there are kind people there and I think those people struggle with being kind towards the other kids because they feel like it's um different and it's hard to be different especially in high school but I think once those kids reach out and are kind towards others that it will be kindness is going to be spread everywhere it would be nice to just think of it as the new normal yeah like all of a sudden it's just that's the way it is and it becomes part of our DNA really it's more of a culture yeah Josh maybe you can tell us a little bit about our day yesterday when we went over to um just this kindergarten class and how uh great that felt just give us a little background on that we went over to a kindergarten classroom uh and we got to really just put a light on kids day there and I don't know if they were having bad day or not and some of them were having a good day and this made it better but all I know is this this particular moment made those kids so happy it just warmed my heart to see every every little kid so happy and so uh we went over and we really just told them or talked to them about kindness and how they can what they have done in to help us because everyone has helped the community in different ways uh through kindness or just through like helping someone and so uh but yeah so we got to go over there and really just got to be with the kids and hear what they've done for the community and it was really nice good. Ayesha what do you have to say about our day yesterday over in the classroom um I would say that it was really heartwarming to know that even five-year-olds understand the concept of what complex kindness is it was so cool to hear we asked each one of them to stand up and talk about one kind thing they did and it was super cool to hear the nice things they were doing within their family or at school and I think it was really like they loved the bear they were so intrigued with Sparky they loved him so much and I think it's just really cool to understand that like it's hard to understand kindness sometimes but it sounds like these kids have such a good grasp of it and they were so grateful when they received we gave them bracelets and so that made their day and it was good to know that they were starting their day off with a kind thing or just even thinking about something kindly did and they can redo that and I know some of the other kids were helping just their friends in the classroom so it was it was it really was. Josh what would you say you know you get up in the morning do you try to you know take a minute and start your day with that grateful heart or does it come throughout the day like what would how would you describe like the best day that you could have for yourself. So my best day would be probably every day I mean I wake up to a great house and a roof over my head and watered food and and I'm just grateful for that right off the bat and you think about that when you get up you you feel that so I'm gonna be honest not every time of course not always but I try to that's the biggest part of the day is the morning is when you wake up how you feel right how you're gonna act that day how you're gonna get up and push through the day and there's there's going to be hatred there's going to be stuff throughout the day that you're not going to like it's how you can come back from that and exactly answer to that. So how about you Avery when you start the day out what what's your plan for the day how do you go into it. I would say that being kind to myself first is a really good thing and starting the day off telling myself how to be kind to myself and just really taking care of my body and then I would say just again the little things when I see someone if I think they look good then I'll let them know and I think it does come throughout the day for me if people are treating me kind then I have a more want to be kind to other people um but I feel like it's I am grateful for and each morning it's good to know that like I know that there will be kind people around me at some point but yeah that's great So Josh what do you think about fast forward Josh Reardon's you know 21 years old what do you what do you want to see as yourself as a young man? I want to see compassion it would be the biggest part I want I want to see um uh just I would want to see Albuquerque being so kind that people want to be around each other and to see each other so yeah so I just think that in the future the world could be a lot kinder than it already is a lot a lot kinder and so I think that every day we just get even more kind and hopefully when I'm 21 we can be the number one kind of city in the world. How many names you're fast forward you're 21 years old what what do you see yourself looking like at that point? I would hope to be able to um be kind towards others still and just like more and instead of doing little things I think it would be good to start doing bigger things um and also just like reaching out to more people to be kind um not in Albuquerque but other places as well um I agree with Josh being the number one city would be great right and I think just carrying on the legacy of always being kind living caring and sharing is the best we can do with things and I think just always being kind towards others is kind of where I see it good and then Josh can you think of a time when say you were at school or at baseball and you saw one of the guys or or girls you know at school that was a little down not having a good day how would you handle that? Well sometimes someone just needs time to put it out there just cry just do whatever but um so I would just kind of approach them and uh then if they ask me to leave the bee I just leave the bee then in an hour I'd go back and check on them and make sure they were okay but um if someone just needs a hug or needs a helping hand or something it's always nice to know that like for me it's always nice to know that you're here for me you're here involved down I need a hug or I need something right you're here for that I mean not just that but I'm just saying like you're here for me right and you're here for me because you're my sister like so I just have a lot of people that are there for me but some kids don't have anybody and so just to be that person for somebody is a really big thing. Beautiful. I have a dream have you noticed somebody that's down and how would you handle that? Yeah I think the first thing to do is just ask them if they're okay and if they don't want to talk about it then you did what you could to help them at that point just checking in with them like continuously I think is good maybe not like two seconds later but a little like an hour or two later just making sure that they're okay because all you can do is help um all you can do is ask yeah and if they don't want to talk about it then that's okay and that's on them I think just um checking in with them and checking in especially if it gets like too super bad with their other peers or teachers or guardians just making sure that they're okay and maybe like bring them a treat to school or just act extra kind and I'm not they have this yeah we only have about five minutes left so why don't we you know just give a shout out to your dad as far as the foundation and what he has done and what type of impact that has had on your life I mean you've talked about kindness and thankfully you've had that since you were born but now things you know have changed and you have both done an amazing job accepting the reality and watching your dad really carry the mantra of your mom through you out into the world so what would you say Josh that you're most grateful for as far as all that your dad has done whether it be the foundation or other than that I'm just grateful that he's here for us every day that's right right he he wants our opinion on stuff that that really is not our voice to say anything and so he is not only carrying mom's legacy he wants us to be a part of it exactly he wants us to be involved with it he doesn't want us to just sit there and watch it work he just wants he wants like every decision that he makes is passed by by us yes now maybe some decisions we don't like but he'll still do because that's what he needs to have that's what needs to happen but it's kind of like a presidency yes absolutely he's the president we're just the council and we just listen and we just advise yeah we just your perspective is important really uh telling what what we see and how we would fix it and uh or how we would do it and he takes it into accountability and that's really what I appreciate because he can't always take our opinion 100% of the time and I don't expect it to but I the part of the process to listen and he really does do that so I really just thank you for that so dad if you're listening and and along the same lines I mean I don't think we could come up with a better example unfortunately of somebody taking you know a complete you know tragedy and turning it into something that has provided so much good and so for that what what comes to mind for you and if you were to describe your dad to somebody who didn't know him and somebody that comes out of such tragedy and sets such an example for a way to get through that you say like power through how would you describe your dad the strongest kindest man in the world the person that that if you need helping and he's there right away and the person that is there for you and you don't have anybody the the person that I want to live up to is there you go all right about you is what would you say to that whole scenario of taking the most tragic situation possible and finding just something good about it and carrying on what you've done how do you how do you attribute you know that to your dad instilling that in you I feel like the biggest thing for me uh was the isotopes game when oh yes yes um that was such a good happy feeling and just talking a little bit about that event because that was awesome yeah so we actually have there was an isotopes game and we just the finest night yeah it was my aunt hark and we had our booth and we were giving things away and we connected people with the app um so that was really good and um I think that's when I like noticed that we did make such a bad thing in life something good and we found a positive in it and I think that our whole family is so strong for that and I think none of us could have done it without anyone especially my dad but I think the foundation is just a way to show love and kindness through our family and also to other people I think it's good for other people to see the love that our family has absolutely what an example yes he's the hardest working man you'll ever meet yeah that's for sure non-stop right and speak you refer to the app and and obviously I know what the app is but can you tell us a little bit about it yeah so the app is um you can go to the um internet and search the Jennifer Gruden foundation and you can go to my kindness app um and you can every time you um so you walk in and every time you see an act of kindness or receiving acts of kindness you can just put it in there and everybody can go through and see your acts of kindness and it's just you reach a million acts of kindness um like a month or two ago and that was really good big celebration yeah it was a big celebration and so now we're just pushing through and trying to get a lot of millions yes right and like the kindergarten kids said yesterday what was their number they said instead of like hitting a truly what did they say they said google yeah like the biggest number they could think of right so right Josh what about can you tell us a little bit more about the app some of the acts of kindness that have been logged on there that stick out in your mind so um so acts of kindness on the app they can be anonymous and they can be put out there but there's so many good people in the world and like every time you look at them you're just like there is people in the world that care and want to be kind and um so yeah so it goes it ranges from a million cans of soup to a food bank to help someone pick up trash exactly it just maybe it just ranges from everything you I think that's what we love so much about it is there's like a billion different kind acts that you can do in the world exactly and I think that we've seen all the bill right and what I like about the way it's posted it's not you can post what you do you can post what you saw somebody else do but I love the fact that that just makes you feel better when you read about something that somebody else did or you hear about something that somebody else did it doesn't have to be you're not even involved but it just makes you feel good about human kindness and and the fact that you know the more of that that you hear it just sets a tone for a better culture yeah and I would say if you're having a down day one of the ways to be kind to others is just read some of the big one that's a great point it really does it lifts your spirits you just feel like you know we're just a little part of this big world and sometimes we get weighed down with our you know day to day issues but then you look at the bigger picture and you realize you know there's there's many more things that are more important than certainly the material things and it's great to recognize somebody for that gift that they have of of being loving so we only have a minute left any questions that either one of you would like to ask me why don't you want to start this TV show oh I wanted to start this because we had a podcast that was running and that was fun but it wasn't reaching as many people and thankfully channel 17 which is town meeting TV right in Burlington Vermont was I put in a proposal and they were willing to try this which was a little bit out of their box but again in this day and age people are gravitating toward things such as this and thankfully they were gracious enough to make my request a reality and this is the third episode so far and it you know something that I would love to continue with and just even if one or two people take something away from this each episode I will feel as though it was worthwhile and the support that I've had from town meeting TV warms my heart do we want to talk about the deans player yeah let's do that and then we'll call it a wrap but we right last year when we were really going through this you know awareness of acts of kindness deans was a local partner which was amazing and here is the flyer that they were able to put on every pizza that was sold yeah and it just talks about the app and how to get signed up so that everybody is logging acts of kindness and it worked it was great and deans stepped right up and they were just a fabulous partner there have been so many wonderful partners here in albuquerque and again as I mentioned back in Vermont town meeting TV has been great and also from on teddy bear we have a couple of other collaborations underway Colchester high school which is where Jen graduated from has planted a tree and now their art students are working on mosaic tiles to tell the story of Jen being kind loving caring sharing that will surround the tree as you enter into the school because that school was near and dear to her heart and this is a way for her legacy to carry on locally as well as nationally as it has but this is it kids it's a wrap so you just have to remember to be nice to me once we turn this camera off okay do I have a yes do we have a yes I'm there okay that's a wrap thank you