 I think some of the key points, one of the key points too was this idea of not just being bound and limited by the programming, you have to be in touch with what the programming is, but since this is a world of projection, then oftentimes the default setting of the mind in terms of relationships is that it just projects the meaning onto the world. Everything that it believes is good and right and the way things should be gets projected onto the world and more specifically if there's a group of us that seem to be working together on the same goal for healing and spiritual awakening and self-realization, then it gets projected onto the community so people can seem to have hesitations about relationship, hesitations about affection, hesitations about how they are to go about their day, what are the do's and the don'ts, what are the rules. It's very typical but it's part of just the whole conditioning of being human or believing that you're human because that goes on in childhood where you look at it oftentimes in these kind of videos it will be as if we have to, they'll say, like Teal's saying, we have to look at the way we raise children, but the way the children seem to be raised are a projection of the mind. So the mind believes certain things and then the parents and the children just act out the beliefs. Nobody's ever victimized by what happened in childhood. That's like transcending that old psychoanalytic model of what happened during this time in your childhood or what happened at this time or this year. Traumatic experiences as if they're causative but events and circumstances and situations are never causative. They're all projections. So as we start to understand that everything in the world, everything in the community, everything that goes on in this sanctuary, everything that goes on in A.C.'s kitchen is a projection and so that gets acted out. If things, plates and crumbs get left behind and A.C. comes to say, I'm not your mother, she's withdrawn away from the belief that she's playing some kind of a role over other people and I just say facetiously A.C.'s kitchen because she doesn't have ownership over it. She's volunteered. She's doing it out of love and steward. She's like a steward of the kitchen and that's what we're practicing with with roles. Roles in the community and even with relationship roles, you know, it's seen as their opportunities, their gifts for getting in touch with what's going on in the mind. Teal mentioned that. She said that like from a spiritual perspective, that's the highest and spiritual ideal is that relationships are mirrors and we talk about that all the time, all the time in holy relationship videos and even in that parenting and children video, this mirroring, mirroring, mirroring. I was at a farm on a sunny weekend in rural Sweden and we talked about mirroring and that seemed to be helpful for the mind that was identified as being a parent and all the guilt about doing it right or not doing it good enough to start to say, oh, what are they mirroring back to me? Oh, that's a nice way to look at this. It's very helpful instead of sticking into these roles and feeling I'm not fulfilling the roles, I'm not doing it good enough. It's just a lot of guilt. So I think, yeah, watching this and what we talk about, it's all about kind of releasing the past and releasing the roles and and coming into trust, coming into guidance, coming into spontaneity and letting that be at the forefront and maybe just beginning to expose programming and beliefs about, well, I believe relationships are this or I believe this relationship is better than that relationship or I notice, hmm, there's a tendency in my mind to judge certain things about relationships. Good or bad, right or wrong, to start to project programming and beliefs out onto other people and to yourself as a body and to the community. That's happened with a lot of communities too where, you know, of course here in Utah, polygamy, you know, there's certain beliefs that get projected or could say acted out, but they're still projected. They're still just beliefs in the mind and we're here to expose beliefs. We're not here to judge people or judge things as if they're external to our mind. We're here to see, oh, I'm just seeing what I'm believing. So we have a strong focus. We have a strong focus in healing. I'd say in one sense it's almost like a huge, huge gift to have a teaching like A Course in Miracles from an actual awakened mind, not just, you know, a side or something that somebody projects, but with the actual experience of, oh, I've been through the key hole and it's wonderful. The light is wonderful. It's good to open up. We don't even have to come to the idea of positive reasons or negative reasons for things. Really, we're looking at what's the purpose. The purpose is everything. I did like when she was talking on the final video where she said instead of us trying to force ourselves to find some kind of an agreement that she basically was advocating instead of trying to look for all the positive reasons for something or forcing an agreement where we started to look at our woundedness and really that's that's the path of, of Course in Miracles, that's the path we're taking too. Look at the darkness. The more you look at the beliefs, the more you look at the error, the less you see it, meaning the more you look at, the more you expose the darkness and the falsity, the less you'll see it in perception because by looking at it with the Holy Spirit and seeing the nothingness of the darkness, then you don't see it reflected anymore. You literally, the entire world shifts and changes and she hinted at that, you know, where she was talking about if you're, you know, polyamorous and you have a resistance to marriage, you have to take a look at what you're judging against. If you, if you're, oh marriage, a lot of people have very negative attitudes about marriage. They'll use stereotypes like the ball and chain, you know, when that is a reference to marriage then it's clearly seen as a negative thing and there must be something, maybe a fear of commitment, maybe a fear of intimacy, maybe a fear of a deep connectedness that's going on in the mind and then the ball and chain. Also she mentioned about the idea of autonomy always being of the ego and this idea that by just switching partners, switching, switching, switching, it can be very much an escapism. It's even interesting in the literature surrounding, of course, the miracles where at one point during the dictation Jesus would take time out to talk to Helen and Bill and basically he told them both that they picked their life partners to avoid intimacy. That's pretty amazing. They picked their life partners to avoid intimacy. So Helen picked Louis to avoid intimacy and all kinds of things came out in that dictation of Jesus working with with Helen and Bill. There was even a point where where Helen decided to change Louis's name because she felt he was such a sinner he'd done so many things wrong that he would never make it to heaven so she thought by changing his name from Louis to Jonathan he'd have a better chance of getting in. That's a very funny little antidote from working with the course material but to change someone's name to think they have a better chance of making it back home. That's a name substitution but it often happens that there's partner substitutions or even picking a partner out of the false sense of lack and guilt and really a fear of love and then having a partner come in that just is part of reenacting that because I know we've done that all of us can probably look back at relationships we've had and we went oh it was really intense and dark and it was like we can only say well I must have been afraid of the intimacy afraid of the love to have projected out and had that enacted out in these characters clashing and doing wild crazy things to each other and so on and so forth we can start to see I must not have valued my own being my own love my own worth to have projected out something like that so in practical terms again it all comes back to the mindwashing and all comes back to what's the purpose and everything but certainly in our community we have never tried to steer people towards something or away from something we've had marriages in the community there's been relationships in the community they've been called many different names and the key always reminds me of the word assignments like there's been assignments that was a term that was used early on like oh relationship assignments like it's almost like a reflection of a classroom of the mind for a lot of mirroring going on for a period of time jesus has three levels of relationship that he mentioned in the manual for teachers casual encounters like two people meeting in an elevator or on the street or something he talks about then there's the teaching learning opportunities that exist for a period of time in which the two then appear to separate and then there's lifelong relationships and a lot of people in our community have felt that there's something to this lifelong thing that perhaps this even could be part of a configuration that could be a lifelong thing you know francis one time said she received a sense that she would be a lifelong companion with me implying that regardless of how the form of things would look that this would be something people were brought together and those things do happen we see there's examples of it but even if you look with the course of miracles even though alan and bill had their collaborative time and then they did travel a little bit that actually the the four that kind of came together as part of the the bringing the stewing of the course alan and bill and ken rock newton judy you know they basically during their lifetimes remained friends and certainly now even with william watson coming in and mary and judy who's still alive and bob scutch her first husband both william and bob have been very important in the publishing of the course into 23 different languages and william and and judy are still married 84 years old and 87 and there's bob right there alongside the three of them and he's 90 so everybody who tells you to his company threes a crowd though these three have been going at this translating publishing the book working together collaborating and they're ranging from 84 to 90 so that that's an example you could say a lifelong relationship they also were brought together for a purpose they probably you could say maybe wouldn't have had much in common at all without the course the course is what they made a lifelong commitment to and it's been used for a very high purpose and so even though teal ends up by saying you know you may change what you want you may change what you desire you don't know what that will be like in the future there are some configurations that do seem to be what we would call lifelong and because they're serving a purpose not that they mean anything specifically or especially because bodies just don't mean anything in the end you know they don't we can't even talk about lifetimes in the end when we're going into an experience of love and light that transcends the body entirely so what i think is important is we just continue our open discussions and we start to realize again that everything that we perceive is what we believe and we take responsibility for our state of mind and we don't try to just let these beliefs and thoughts about relationships and and so forth to be a determiner of holding back from expanding you know she said that the marriage vow should be uh until expansion to a part which is kind of funny because you know it still has the part in the end where until expansion do we realize our oneness may be our wedding vow or our purpose to keep expanding consciousness to keep opening our perception wider and wider to keep seeing the big picture until even the big picture disappears and only love and light remain that's maybe a way of verbalizing you know what we're about but also not hitting these concerns and guilt around the form of relationship because i would say it's the guidance that's always the most important thing it's the guidance from the spirit holy spirit that is most important and not the form even though this is a world based on the importance of form there would be no tabloids there would be no writing and newspapers who's with who you know you see it all the time who's who got married so and so they got off with a private wedding and now they're announcing it to the press they didn't want to press there but you know it's like part of the daily columns of who's with who who's with who over the years you know even when i would travel and want to just come and talk to people about forgiveness and have really good deep heart to heart conversations with them oftentimes people i would meet with they were more curious of who's with who uh who i was with or who such and such was with tell me about some so what are they doing are they are they still together did they break up you know it's just this this incessant curiosity about form and specifics which in the end we have to realize if we leave that over to guidance then we're just flowing with the spirit and letting the spirit orchestrate the form and and use the form for our greater good teal also mentioned a lot of reasons she's used like a historical evolutionary perspective about you know 11 000 years ago you know which we shifted from being more wandering nomads and hunting and gatherings into farming and then as if once we started farming then we started to work the land and then we got into property and no actually if you go back to ego is what property is all about the ego is about ownership and that's been there all along it was there even during those hunting and gathering going around and stabbing an animal and roasting it and eating it you know uh that there was some ownership and some possession and some killer be killed and survival and lack and everything going on there so this ego belief system has been underneath everything that seems to it's all about history jesus even tells us history wouldn't even exist if you didn't keep making the same mistake in the present well that's good to know you don't hear that every day our mothers and devs and tell us at the dinner table you drink your kool-aid and finish your peas and history wouldn't exist if you didn't keep making the same mistake you know we we were not aware of the ego so fully we were not aware of this wrong-mindedness of this false way of looking at the world that's that's very strange as we become more aware those things may still enter your mind you know a lot of times people who are part of communities if they see a value in the community and they see a healthfulness in the community they still may divide the community off from the world so then it becomes like they have to have to stay in the community like it's a danger to go out almost like in the middle of the island like where everything's contaminated they're told everything's contaminated so safe safe safe it's safe inside here because out there is contamination and that's you know we've seen communities that if you leave the community you're a dead one right and that kind of almost shaming like we are the elite and the dead ones you know that's crazy ego use of community symbols which we really try to expose and the ultimate reason of exposing is having an experience like Susanna where she went to visit her biological family and was it your little niece was Emmanuel took off her clothes was running around naked and so on and so forth you know in the context of those kind of things you know that's that when you feel the sameness with whoever you're with and whatever they're doing and if the little girl's running around naked it's not the sense of judgment it's like just smiles on the faces not frowns our cat sweetie runs around naked every day everybody's dressed him up but you you had to see that ultimately it's about being so much in purpose and the purpose of community is to bring the darkness to the light it's not about trying to fix the form control the form she did bring up that even in polyamory communities or for situations with polyamory she said there's it's going to force the ego out of this position of control because the ego wants to control the environment and when you have communities or you have people sharing love and maybe not with sexual polyamory but with what she called emotional or even verges of romantic gift giving or laying together or having a massage or doing all kinds of expressive things still the ego is underneath if there's a sense of wanting to control situations and control results in expectations and expectations that seem to be violated is like what she would call violating boundaries maybe they're not even known boundaries you're going along all of a sudden someone says he does something and it's like you feel a contraction like that's it you've walked over the line it's the last straw i'm not going to go for that but you weren't even aware that there was a boundary there until some interpretation of an action or a behavior kind of brought it up into your awareness what we're saying is we're wanting those interpretations to be raised up into awareness so in that sense we're welcoming the raising of darkness so that nothing is kept hidden so that there can be a consistent experience of of happiness that's our framework for everything but i don't want people having the sense of of a prejudgment about about the community is if the community supports one form over another because how do you evolve how do you give it over fluidly to the Holy Spirit if you've already set the rules of course communities have rules because there's fear underneath and Jesus says in the Course the ego believes that without judgment all would be chaos without rules all would be chaos and Jesus says without judgment all would be love that's two different perspectives one requirement is calling for trust that if we open all the way to love and we expose all the darkness then all will be love and the ego is saying you've got to have rules and you'll forever have rules you'll die with rules and there's rules even in hell you know and you know it's all about judgment because that's what perpetuates the guilt and perpetuates the ego we don't take dramatic stands even on what are called physical symptoms you know where we don't have rules about magic which or operations or anything it's always a focus on mind training and and healing this exposing this guilt like for example um years ago when um Lisa and I were in Loveland Ohio we went to visit our friend Doug Castle and he was very concerned about our community and the future he that's his he's a church consultant he said what are you gonna do when your community grows old and gets sick how are you gonna provide for the bodies you know that that's that's a common thing and for most human beings healthcare future healthcare thinking of nursing homes and so forth and I think we said something like well we really it's not really our focus we're so focused on present healing that we don't spend a lot of time talking about what's going to happen 10 or 15 or 20 years down the road but we did have you know recently with our dear friend Lila who's very much a part of our community going through this you know the liver and and the growth and the bile and all the different things and we approached that from a focus on healing of the mind it was very much that that Kirsten was a part of that Sarah was a very big part of that Nikita was a big part of that it was a focus on opening healing and and more recently Suzanne said a lot of contact and then of course Lila came right here and that's been it's very much us sticking with our core values that it's healing in the mind that's that's what's important that's what awakening is all about it's healing in the mind so we still dealt with the specifics of a plane flight of people to go and stay with her and help her move around do her things but all within the context of mirroring all within the context of mind training and so we don't really have all these programmed things about this is the way it has to be even about relationships and I guess recently with with Eric and we we actually Kirsten they just began exploring their feelings and opening into this and that's just been in the recent days where that started to open up but it's also beautiful that it's being talked about openly in expression sessions so it's not like a private matter in one sense that's like huge advance even if you can see Teal talking there and struggling with her marriage and saying well it's it can be messy and they can butt heads and all these different things but that was even around privacy whereas we've got the mechanics going already and I mentioned that just before this on the call with Kirsten and Francis they smiled they were laughing oh that's wonderful wonderful they just loved to hear the idea of what seemed to be a budding new relationship in the community being talked about so openly freely right here in the expression sessions in the sanctuary so that's for us I think our key values starting to transfer whereas we don't compartmentalize things and say well this is just this and this should be taken away and solved and that should be taken away and solved it's more reflecting that bring everything bring all your problems to the holy instant to open communication to trust and watch them vanish so I'm just interested in yeah everybody we watched it did it bring up anything were there questions that arose were there emotions that arose from it were there any fears that arose like oh like this there's something big there uh you know this morning after Suzanne had just left to go to the monastery then I met with Lisa and Michael they have their own chemistry that got ignited today and then the giddiness just spilled over into the uh the Sunday service and you know I'm just thinking how beautiful it is because I feel like even like if this whatever that is happening here it's like shared the kind of when I was just looking at there I feel like it's not this separate thing like we're all in it together and how you know I think that the fear is because I was going to think that fear when you start a relationship I was like you got to figure it out or you know it's all new and scary or whatever and it's like really precious because like we're you know it's like this real beautiful thing that we're sharing in just in the mind but yeah feels really new something new and also just the healing that that brings I heard there was a lot of stuff at the we're a lot of things that were brought up this morning in the expression session yeah it's great but the idea of you don't see community is like a set concrete boundary so even the stuff about being in the community or out of the community it starts to just dissolve away in purpose what is the purpose for my entire perception what is the purpose for the world what is the purpose for the dream it's huge and it takes the pressure off of trying to put the commitment and put the focus on the form and taking it back to the mind that's an amazing thing when you can start to lift everything up to the mind like oh what is this for is this feels supportive of my joy my happiness my expansion will it support me or will it hinder me is it based on an opening and a givingness and a joy in the heart or is there a contraction like all I need to do is I should I ought to I have to is there a people-pleasing component to it you know we want to expose that so that we don't ever have to hold on to those thoughts of the lease and start to see that they don't serve that's beautiful that it can be that way and I think um yeah the other idea is too that she was making the point about how monogamy or being single or polyamory you know of not thinking that there's a specific spiritual advantage in one over the other I think that traditionally you know that a lot of spirituality when we look at monks and nuns and so on and so forth there was a specific focus on a particular form and and certainly when people make contrasting you know polyamory and and monogamy it will be again one of those things where people will try to come out and say one is better than the other she was just making the point that it's it's really the purpose that's underneath it's what is it for it's not the form that it goes nowhere when you try to take one form and juxtapose it over another that's morality and she did point out like Jesus does in the course that there is no universal uh morality there's no universal agreement if you study all the cultures and all the different moral points of view you'll find there's great contrast and there's no universal agreement so I think it's it's good to stay open I was saying like next year 2016 could be a year of surprises but that you should be welcoming of that it's almost oh look at that it's a surprise like that's a surprise you know a surprise can be an opportunity for healing it doesn't mean have to be an opportunity for judgment for distancing it can be oh wow that's that's interesting and it comes down to expectations we deal with people we've done so many gatherings in so many countries we've had hosts we've had all these collaborations with people even now with the solar people in Mexico and up here with solar up here and down there with the the electric company there with moon lake here and solar and down there they've got mat and they've got the utility we it comes down to releasing expectations and trusting the greater evolution and and expansion that's happening instead of trying to zero in on a specific thing like that would project it out is is if there's an external problem oh this one's got a problem or that one's got a problem or they cheated us or those are just conclusions when we want to have much more faith and come back and say no there's it's all working together for the good it's all lifting us higher and higher into the state of unification and oneness non-judgment it's a different perspective we're not complaining about anything I mean I thought it was kind of novel to hear about what happened with all the cross wires and say well what do you know about that the wires were crossed you know because it was a lot of questioning like why are we being charged so much and we'll get solar and we'll do this and this and it's even higher with solar what oh the wires were crossed so then but hi Jeff hi so yeah i'm interested in anything that came up or any kind of things did you have a chance to see the videos or no no no we just finished that one you're right you can hear what everyone's got to share and we just have a nice do you know what's about polyamory polyamory you watch polyamory polyamory marriage and then practical issues and applications of dealing with those in fact when I was showed videos to Michael the other day he was saying well teal brought up she brought up emotional polyamory romantic polyamory and sexual polyamory and he said what is this romantic polyamory so we talked a little bit about what romantic polyamory would be because she's going to a lot of detail just in terms of maybe examples and things she did say that she felt that every that the human race was evolving more towards polyamory uh conscious polyamory she called it it's like a value or it's because it's an inclusive love it's not an exclusive love and she was saying that you know you can't rush that evolution you can't try to leapfrog and jump over anything but certainly that's the point of all over hard discussions because we realize that our our beliefs determine our seeming decisions in this world so we're all about clearing the beliefs so that our one remaining belief can be forgiveness and all of our decisions can flow from attainment from the attainment principle so but I always like in terms of practicality what you saw what you felt there were hesitations or I think for me like yesterday was such a profound experience because I could never understand what the Course was talking about about the sameness and that you would love everybody the same I just I could never grasp what would be inspiring about that or what would be sparkly about that and so yesterday when I had that experience right to when it went to bed and it was like I saw that this polyamory and all this stuff is just it's just like taking the mind higher and higher into into that experience it's not really about the form at all and that's why I like it's so highly individualized because it's all just a washing around the personal perspective of things to take us into into that where everything is the same but not where there's any sacrifice in that and I think it was just so obvious in my experience history because I'm so used to just being here you know and to seemingly step outside but I really wasn't stepping outside the mind remained the same and you know and then I asked Makita last night she wanted to come and rest with me I just held her and just just felt so so restful and so beautiful and so I I guess I'm I see how everything is just with this shared intention of this deep purpose it's like it's all being used for that so that it's great that it's not a cookie cutter you know the one way for you is you know the way it needs to be for everybody it's like it's highly individualized and it's like the spirit knows exactly what we need if that's our if that is our focus in our mind is that deep prayer of dividing you know then everything will take us into that if that's out front you know and I just I know I I guess for the first time I had something seemingly to compare it with and it was the same and it and it felt very profound like while there really is no sacrifice in loving everybody the same and however that plays out in the moment is it is really pretty irrelevant at that point right it's like so it's not even a thought about what's going to happen or how's this going to play out because you're just kind of grounded in that so I just want to nurture that so wow I just had no idea I couldn't ever understand the whole sameness thing what and the formlessness you know both the idea of form and then having those deep experiences where whoa nothing compares to no form no matter how good it is compares to that experience of divine love you know yeah it's like the the world's backwards and upside down with the ego so from that backwards and upside down perspective it's it seems like two people coming together or two people partnering up can if it seemed just as an event in and of itself which is often what a marriage or the beginning the new relationship is seen as it has a very positive connotation that's why people generally go to to throw rice and wear white and whatever and cupcakes and to celebrate a marriage they don't go and bring handkerchiefs and pie unless you know you were the one left out of the bride and groom and and your love of your life is getting married to somebody else then you may come and and cry but mostly they're generally celebrations but that's in the backwards and upside down world and then when we start to see nothing is what it seems which is our we watched an opening little clip nothing you see is as it seems reminding us that everything's distorted then you start to realize well the only purpose of seeming partnerships or collaborations or projects or anything is the undoing of guilt or i will say the undoing of the belief in linear time that that could literally be like a partnership vow or a marriage vow like i joined together with you for the undoing of linear time in my mind which seems absurd to be if you ever saw that kind of a vow there we go we got two wackos there hear me talk about i love you and i'll commit to till death's gonna be parked and i'll love you forever it's like i'm here to undo my belief in linear time which brings you right into true love right well you definitely are joining in forgiveness if you're joining in into that opening yeah into seeing us all simultaneous so i would say you know we're kind of on the cutting edge here because you know what she's calling intentional community you know we're going beyond you know sharing resources and you know like she was saying you know if you have more people contributing and it's more supportive there's more love to go around yeah yeah yeah that's all now we're starting to get into the undoing of linear time which which we consciously talk about but you can only imagine with with camas or the monastery or you know different places we have mexico artists and that imagine as you go more into that that the very concept of partnership will undergo tremendous transformation because as you start to let go of the belief in linear time the idea of she was even saying the idea of coupling when you get to higher and higher states of consciousness starts to lose meaning not that it was ever good or bad it's like her movie her yeah it's like the movie her so that was a great demonstration of her going more communication more communication with alan watz they bring in her communicating with alan watz and then multiple people that that her was that's why we probably all appreciated her the movie because we went huh that's where this is all seeming to head and therefore that's not surprising or it shouldn't be too shocking because there's a part of the mind that's going so then it would move towards momentary inspiration and already you know even in recent years we've just come together and we focused on on projects we even had a that period of time where we're like okay we're closing the circle well just saying closing the circle brought up a lot of stuff some people were like i'm in the circle and i don't want to be i want to be outside and then the one in some of them are like they close the circle right around the outside that means does that mean i can never get in and you know it brought up a lot of stuff and so and then we've gone along and we take our steps and we we said okay we're going to get down and really focus on our purpose with our projects and our websites sco and our publications and this and this and this well that brought up a lot of stuff in bubbling in the community all kinds of emotions coming up people leaving the community the circles closing the circle the shrinking of the circle because this is what the circle is about all this baloney of circle of support that's a it's like a noose it's a circle around my neck it's closing can't breathe and gotta get out and do something you know get away but see that's all part of it too you know it's all just whatever happening is not positive it's just looking at at your reactions and for some that said that's not my cup of tea then like teal would say oh very good then this is my cup of tea you may change your mind she said many times a day it is my cup of tea no it's not yes it is no it's not it seems very schizophrenic not knowing am i in am i out is this my life's calling maybe not you know it just goes round and round and round but i think you know the most important thing is is that there is healing happening you can feel it you can see the heart opening up you can feel the mind opening up through it all and then being in that place of acceptance where whatever seems to be happening you can feel like oh i want to come to total acceptance total contentment that the world doesn't have a causative factor in that contentment it's just a reflection of my mind of my purpose in my mind so that's beautiful in that that's the sense of sameness too where it's not boring at all i like what you said about commitment like until there's truly a commitment made no matter what it is then the then the acceleration can't really occur because they're too busy like with that plan be in your mind as subtle as it might be it's it's a distraction like just to get completely committed yeah and we've been talking about commitment here too yeah it's a component it's almost like that's that's an ingredient that has to be there in order to to go through the eye of the needle yeah i think too even the idea of like those casual encounters versus you know sustained relationships that seem to end versus life's long relationships even those before jesus goes into those three distinctions he basically he's basically saying it's all the same he starts off his whole teachings all the same but it's almost like here i'll give you up something that you can relate to and he gets the three but he preferences it by saying you know they're all it's all the same because it's all really all one mind so i think for for all of us it's like it's like coming to trust that it's like where there's a real strong sense of a guidance and still there can be open discussion about things but we're where everyone is learning to be more in alignment with the higher power with guidance the whole spirit everyone's coming into that alignment that's something to be celebrated and then to practice daily that's what expression sessions are that's what our use of munches are that's what our collaborative projects are all for that just to not see a problem the mullyskirt is the guide there is no problem the ego is the guide then there will seem to be problems not that they're real but they're in there in awareness okay just really enjoyed actually just everything she was talking about i could relate to like just in my life like with relationships you know i've been married before like a legal marriage i don't know i just feel like i've been mostly and the only thing i can call it is like unconscious relationships wanting safety or something i don't know i didn't even know what i wanted but entering seeing some kind of vibrational connection and entering in right away into some kind of relationship really not having any purpose for it at all i think i can't see one right now anyway so like it feels really nice to have a purpose in a relationship and like bigger in it and feeling safer and i don't know i can just see the perp the helpfulness of of like a seeming exclusive relationship like it feels sort of like there's two people coming together with like an intention because i think you know like right before i came into the community i had this push away towards relationship like i'll you know the course terms like this is special like this is not what i really need but like there's a helpfulness to it in my mind because i don't know there's like terror in my mind for true intimacy so having one to be with and just open up to feels really helpful in my mind and i don't think i could really do it any other way right now like polyamory like like intimacy with lots of people i don't know probably would even attempt that at all because it's like scary enough with just one it's not easy at all yeah she made that point with one it's it's a full-time experience could be very intense and then it seems to be more and more but also implying that the states of mind and those levels of consciousness are possible and these things open and i know with people who work with the course there's a lot of course spin-offs and there's lots of spiritual teachers and there was i forget where i was one time this woman came to me and she was she was quite disturbed um in the sense that she had gone to see the spiritual teacher and and um wasn't with the spiritual teacher very long her and her husband where the spiritual teacher said you two um want you to split up and you're going to go with different partners and and it was a shock kind of a shock to her system i think for most people there's certain shared agreements you can call them whatever you want shared agreements sometimes teal calls them boundaries and so forth but where she thought she said it's something that felt very strange about that and um she said we we kind of went along with it but but it just seemed to bring up all kinds of strange feelings um and and she was wanting to take responsibility for everything in her mind but but also uh i think that was part of what came through what teal was sharing about you know there's like an honoring that has to go on if if even polyamory is described as as a choice between individuals in a conscious way it's very different from cheating like infidelity there's secrecy there's hiding there's going behind someone's back and so on and so forth and she was emphasizing what polyamory the consciousness like it's a conscious decision entered in even with that there can be a lot of emotions that would come up even if you made a conscious choice there still could be a lot of emotions there you'd almost think that there would be uh those things coming up because it's all it's almost like that there does seem to be a simpleness in monotomy where it's not like who's going to be in the bed or who's going to be this or this there's there's still putting it out there's still a bit of structure to it and there's still a bit of a form but it's something the mind is saying i can deal with this and accept this and this is what i can work with and um i think more and more as you evolve beyond the limits of the belief in linear time then you you won't see people the same way you won't see situations the same way uh you could just it would be like literally a dance like leaves dancing in the wind where you know there there's a sense of just a naturalness to the movement of all things and not an interpretation or a judgment of what this means what does that mean there's so much stuff about people being together being together sexually lying together you know the world even some of our our angel bath i was doing um looking at one we had one that was recorded i think in north carolina it was a very intimate angel bath and then there was one right out there in the monastery that's it's on youtube when people see it and it's close up to people's faces and all the ecstasy and touching somebody will be going through and so they'll go and go down on the ground be touching the back of their legs and you know and you know it's a very natural for everyone there was probably just freaking everybody else out yeah but it's fun to see it on youtube because it's like okay and that's also another aspect where she mentioned something like people can choose a monogamous lifestyle if it at this time on the planet if it benefits the whole i got a taste of that a little bit because i traveled around initially so much in a solo way and then when i started to have a travel partner and i started to show up at these different houses the people reacted differently when this body was with another body with a female body it was like oh come on in stays stay with us and there was like a welcome because it was more the idea of a man and the woman that symbol was more socially acceptable like teal just said with the societal norm is couples and you know and jesus even takes that concept of couples and he says the arc of peace is entered two by two interesting words from jesus in the course where we know that the ultimate state is a state of pure oneness but he's saying the arc of peace is entered two by two the whole course is written in the context the symbology of relationships very different from meditation standards and you know going off the lives in remote places and very solitary journeys and even certain meditation practices of you know don't don't look at the opposite sex or this or that i remember when jenny first came over uh to the united states before she came to the peace house she went up to that that um like kind of that one this university up in in iowa uh where um yeah where they have a lot of teachings and where um this guy was in the troop so jim carrey gave his um and that commences commencement for my graduation speech and she went there and this was like a long tradition in meditation and consciousness training and so they told her you know do this but there's certain ones that have been there for for many years and they walk around and there's certain men they're called certain but there's not even supposed to be a woman that comes near them you know and jenny went out wandering because they're not supposed to have a woman walking near this group of men you know almost like that can be a distraction to them or something like this and then when she went into all the meditation training they had they would ask her all these questions and and they would they had colors to evaluate to where you were it was a lot of evaluation um where you were and she you finally she felt a bit strange and she remembered that i invited her to come to the peace house so she came and she said wow it was there's some really strange things but the initial drawl was to this this oneness in this meditation practice which was very much a part of her life it just was some very strange things that she observed in her own mind so i think that's that's another thing um that it's highly individualized like susanna was saying and that also we it it can be based on what serves the whole even with a group of people you may have a group of people that end up living at the monastery or the peace house or over at master peace or someplace that that maybe they are ready for a polyamorous kind of experience and that's where the level of consciousness is and and for them it flows well for others like like you were saying like wow i can't even imagine something like that's not within my realm right now it's it's intense enough with a monogamous relationship you know it's so those are the kind of things that it's it's a version of that course of miracles workbook lesson i will step back and let him lead the way there are many versions of that as it plays out in a world of specifics and jesus has never been one to avoid specifics or sometimes with the date of adanta you know all is one all is one end of discussion just repeat repetition of all is one jesus is very much like well the ego made the specifics and now we have to use what the ego made because you still believe in what the ego made so this you can say as many hail marries as you want you can say all is one as many times as you want but actually experientially you know we're gonna have to be honest with each other and work on this and the whole path of the course is using letting the holy spirit use the symbols to unwind the mind back to god in fact um we had this guy url that just wrote in to uh that uh susanne was telling me about him he's been very much into buddhism he went to a talk by gary renard he was just wowed by the course and now he he loves the buddhism and he loves the course he loves retreats and he may stop by um up in this area january january early january very soon maybe come here for a visit and maybe come to the monastery if we're having the sole room people out there and all this and that but there has to be like an honoring and a respectfulness and also it comes back to the purpose it's how how can anyone judge the form of anything when it's the purpose that makes it helpful and the purpose is not it's not something that's out there it comes back to what is my purpose for this and who am i to judge who am i to judge anything who am i to judge any form who am i to judge any person who am i to judge the motivations of others you know how is it that i could have a negative reaction to to something that i'm told about form without it being coming from my own mind my own consciousness so what what business do i have at pointing the finger when somebody told me whenever you point the finger you have three fingers pointing back one for the father one for the son one for the whole the ghost you have the trinity all laughing at you every time you point the finger what are you doing what are you doing that's crazy you know that's not you that's not who you are that's not how you were created you know if you remember that analogy every single time and also it takes a lot of trust in that because the ego is so very very suspicious of everything and everyone it's always painting a very suspicious picture of like you know what's what are they up to we're going along we're floating along we thought we had it all settled here and then this you know like what are they up to and and you know in the end you you have to just be aware of that suspicious voice and and be willing to expose it every time it rears its head up in in in the light of love and say even to save your brothers and sisters hey i need some help i've had some crazy thoughts and but they're there and so i think that's the really truly we're all probably out what is it called polyamorous or polyamorous emotionally already here because if we're not then we wouldn't be here because it's all about exposing and i think that that's a beautiful stepping stone you know a step it's like you open up your minds together so intimately here that of course we're polyamorous here emotionally yeah you know that's that starts to for me anyway it helped me to start to come into that experience of it didn't really matter if this body is with this body or that body or if i'm holding somebody one day or somebody else the next day it loosens that up because it becomes secondary yeah i think that's that's true that we could we could definitely say that that's the case and then and then as you go deeper deeper into that that i think the key point she made was that that the only time the drama comes in the only time the conflict even seems to enter is when there's a deeper question about self-worth where she said there but the world come a point in our evolution where it won't matter about what the world seems to do or think because we'll see there's no world outside and it won't matter about relationships because our worth is not determined by relationships she pointed out from childhood on there's so much of a sense like sally field you know at the house they love me they're holding her house because they like they really like me they really like me you know it was like oh because it's so ingrained of being loved to being liked to being appreciated and and then when you get to a point where you start to you feel your worth is in your purpose your worth is in your giving light and extending love and light and it grows stronger and stronger and stronger then those relationships lose their meaning you could have somebody that's been in your life for many years seemingly informed saying bye bye you're like i wish you well i love you i bless you instead of you how dare you you know and you don't even write and you know and all this you know all the expectations around that because you don't need the bodies and the persons to acknowledge who you are or your worth or your purpose like your purpose is totally beyond the transcends the the images and and that's what's so so beautiful so you don't want to try to to we call it metaphysically ghosts like just affirm the words thinking that just by saying the words that will make the state of mind but you do want to keep practicing at releasing any kind of judgments and thoughts to come up because that will bring you into the state of mind where you can truly speak from your heart and mean it i love you a sense of i love you you can it can come out of your mouth freely i love you i love you i love you i love you and you mean it mean it mean it mean it you know it just feels good it's not the sense of demands or some kind of a expectations that you say that and then somebody is supposed to respond you know it's wonder if people respond if people don't respond it doesn't change your worth it doesn't change your purpose you're more like johnny applesey you're a flinger of love seeds you fling fling fling fling fling and you fling them everywhere and even the terrible sun landed in the thistles and somebody who cares you know it's not your objective to be evaluating whether where they land or whether they germinate or not whether they grow into plants or trees or whether they just sit there on the rock just a happy little seed on the rock if you're fully into the joy of flinging that doesn't matter there's no consequences but that's another thing's beautiful about our reflection of our community we're not really into run into things like size or growth if it expands it expands if it shrinks it shrinks if the circle's closed it's closed if the circle opens it opens you know we can be in that place of celebrating everything and not thinking that it means something you know like from a sales perspective you know people go oh it's shrinking workforce for shrinking production shrinking gross national product those are all negatives expanding economy expanding expanding to the world those are positive but it's all relative it's just you know and because it's relative it doesn't really have any lasting meaning so who cares if something shrinks or expands really you know in the end who's who really cares who is the one that even cares i feel like one of the first things that made me feel very welcome here was that like polyamorous experience of of affection and just brothers and sisters like just being really in tune with what was the called for and you know even that welcome from i remember pulling christen aside one day and said like what's this leaking thing how am i not supposed to fall in love with jason like what's that about and her just saying oh no no that's okay you're supposed to go right ahead you know and then for me of course that was the only way it could happen because it was so safe you know it was like in this this three thing and so so so safe there was you know we just was yeah and i think what i've noticed is like it felt like over the last year somehow it became less like that and somehow tighter in my experience i'm not saying it's true but so i could get into a complacency and a kind of a sense of that would never get flushed up for me there was no there was no level of intimacy that was coming closer to me in form you know just as a symbol i could go go dead to certain parts of myself and i felt a little a little bit stiff not with everything that was being said because i'm actually i think i feel that's very natural i could just see where i'd shut parts of myself down thinking well i'm here so like that none of that will happen that's all right for me so yeah i could just could just feel like and then and then this a similar but different aspects which said you know even still there might not be that for you you know and then this it's just it was both everything being possible and then maybe not bad at all either and and really i think i feel like i feel quite barefaced for at the forefront of like you said it your surprises like i don't know anything and it's my mind and and anything that's helpful can't come towards me in whatever way is helpful and i couldn't possibly know what that would be so yeah i just it just feels more natural to me in my mind than this than consistent one-on-one that's it relationships because i mean i love that jp once had a song that he wrote for me i love that there was all these you talked about the romance and it's helpful to me and and then i i see that my own expectation for one-to-one thing drops away and i'm just really open to where it's given who is it now in this moment who's in front of you who you'd be totally in love with and totally singularly focused on in this second because they're right in front of you and it doesn't become a person and and yet i still feel this possible you know be helpful for me to also have an intimate one-to-one type of scenario but then yeah i i mean i think i think it was more supportive my experience with cody than it was i mean i can't compare them with thomas because it was it was we were doing this at the time you had invited us to do youtube momentary decisions and so all ideas of the future or all ideas of what it meant is gone yeah it's beautiful you can recall those and then also all the different times with thomas and everything because i was part of some of those and even getting the green card and seemingly in the dream you being here in the united states from ireland but here with a green card and that has come in through all that so it's like it all works together for the good equally for the good there's there's trusting that there's a presence behind all the images it's just using the swirl of images to take the mind higher and higher and and that's a beautiful thought and then when we fall away from that when we start to examine it specifically it always starts to deteriorate because there's there's some personal component that comes in and that's i mean that's i feel really grateful that i had a quarter of a century of of travel because you know i'd be just getting into the joy and the glee of the miracle and i'd be somewhere or wherever in europe and they'd say uh what are you going to do when you go back to the united states and i'd say united states that's hypothetical i would just be so in the glee of the moment that would just roll out of my mouth david's i'd say do you really think there is a united states to go back to and they'd be like oh my god that was that was my experience in the moment i would just say that's hypothetical and and to start to really give yourself full permission to go into that expansive state where you start to see that everything is hypothetical in fact when you know that was part of the whole quantum forgiveness book that that the key to really put together was this we define hypothetical you know it's it's like hypothetical isn't as if and the whole universe the whole cosmos isn't as a hypothetical because it's an as if the separation happened it's it's all hypotheticals but when the mind locks into the concrete and says oh no forget this hypothetical stuff all this love love love stuff i'm talking practical specifics you know then it's it's really into what it calls practical hypotheticals which isn't an oxymoron there are no practical hypotheticals it's the undoing of the belief in the hypotheticals that frees the mind to soar and to see that it's everywhere like that's what lisa when she was thinking everyone was going to the movie the other day joy movie and she heard i am everywhere you know well that takes away the here or there or go or not go you know it just was i am everywhere it's just it's a rest it's a rest that comes with that so yeah it's it's just fun to to just watch to observe and start to feel that contentment of just being able to observe and watch the stream go by without thinking you have to shape the stream or or what the stream to look this way or that way or getting all locked in to like future goals and future outcomes it's quite a yeah i think is a lot like i i wouldn't have known it for myself at the time but that would am like am the emotional commitment commitment to like never hanging up the phone in each other was what i needed during that time with thomas like and i would never have known that that's what i needed like that commitment there that was definite for communication so yeah yeah you know that was more important than i think yeah yeah it was funny they showed the the man laying in bed with his partner and then all these hands on the side of just to look on her face and look on his face because there's all these hands you just see hands in the side of the picture you can see her looking over and him it's like you know it's it's just to get to a state of mind where the form is no longer causative where there's no interpretation of something's going wrong in form you know we use that metaphor but it's far we use it more of an experientially like we say something feels off something feels strange we're not saying the form is off we're strange we're saying the perception of the form is stranger off and that we can do we can say oh that's wrong-mindedness it's it's not a happy feeling it's a contraction it's a tightness it's a closed-down feeling it's not making a judgment about anything specific it's just saying oh my my interpretation here is is off and then being willing to just say i want to join in prayer for another way of looking at this i want to see this from another way that little crack of opening because yeah it's amazing i just recorded i've been recording the lessons and i think it was yesterday i was talking about the willingness to open to the holy instant and the saying it's so little required of you that the ego is insulted as it has no contribution such a tiny little proportion of contribution the mind that's sleeping to make really the holy the might of the holy spirit in this tiny little willingness join and produce this enormous this amazing experience but but he was just saying just don't add don't try to add anything to the holy instant don't add you know i've got to do something or figure it out or i have to make something happen or achieve something or accomplish something or accumulate something or you know all these things in the world or all this attempts to add to the holy instant and he's saying no just be willing for it just desire it to let it be what it is let it show you what it is don't think that you have to achieve it which is really where a lot of socialization and enlightenment is it's work hard work hard practice practice practice work work work work and maybe after many years or many lifetimes then you'll get your reward finally jesus is saying no it's not that at all you can slide and slip into this simplicity by not adding anything to it don't add anything to it let the holy spirit lead you show you the way we're in the final days of the the calendar year and if you as you know if you do the workbook lessons those final five workbook lessons this holy instant what i give to you be you in charge for i with a follow you're you're supposed to give offer yourself offer the holy instant to you know to the to the holy spirit to show show me so that's how the workbook ends with the show me experience not i'm going to show you like if you go through like two years of college or 10 years of school and then you got to do take a big exam or you got to do some kind of big project or some thesis or whatever and you have to prove your worth by doing and showing but the course is saying no no it's time for you to resign as your own teacher and don't play show show you with the holy spirit you play show me you've got to play show me it runs against all our conditioning it runs against everything we've ever learned in this world show me you're going to show me it's like yeah let's play one final game here let the holy spirit show me so that's really nice because that's saying that you aren't going to reach it through doings we can actually throw that one out the window and say okay i'm not i'm not here as a doing as a human doing trying to do enough to make it back to god it's just it's just not the way that it works and let all things just come and welcome and embrace everything you know every day it's like you show up whatever somebody's expressing screaming shouting you should just be like in wonder middle it's so beautiful just you know it's like this is my mind thank you for showing me my mind instead of trying to fix somebody oh thank you for showing me you're wonderful you're delightful yeah i'm very healing friend um actually even at the mention of it i think it was two notes or something i mean i was able to pass really quickly it was like pair like i was like oh here we are and just kind of joined with lisa just saying like i don't know it's like i want the authentic healing i just know this feels like a very like vulnerable spot for me over like soft underbelly yeah because like i know i wanted to see it because i don't like to be that kind of hidden yeah it's just there's a sense of terror with that idea just like my mind felt it was kind of like so closed off that idea that's why i want to participate in it because i don't want to be like closed off but there's such a fear like just pain at that idea yeah yeah it could even be like if you open and taking so many steps and then you come into this relationship with yuta and it seems so helpful and so amazing that the part of the mind that feels the terror is just it's just like a fear of loss it's like no no no don't i just got it don't take it away from me and and that's why i think it's just helpful to remember that the spirit is always spirit never takes anything away it's always an expanded view or it's always a retranslation so if you think of things just it's just that little tweak in the mind that retranslation but retranslation into something that's so wonderful it's it's indescribable in that sense it's something that that's where all the trust comes in faith like okay i'm on this journey and and you've told me nothing's going to be taken away it may seem as if things are being taken away but those would be just sometimes the ego interpreting is so afraid of loss that it just will interpret everything as being taken away or stolen or abandoned but yeah it's just keeping the faith you know like jesus jesus says in the healed relationship section you know you you invited the holy spirit into your relationship and can you not have the faith that you invited him in then let him come let him abide let him purify the awareness which is what the whole invitation is about so it's it's actually good just to to let those fears up and that tear up and to talk you had a lisa said you had a good hour-long session of just you know just letting it come up and and that's very common though that there's a fear of loss like something will be taken away this is we're being purified of this causation thing because i i had a girlfriend in the mid 90s and oh my god we just started to just relax and drop the mask and started having these mystical experiences and then more mystical experiences and more mystical experiences and and then all i could remember at some point was the ego just coming in like don't take it away don't take her away you know is if the mystical experiences was coming from her or from david and her interacting in some way or something like this it was don't you know like don't finally don't mess with this you know but you know there came a point where you know i just had to start to listen internally to you know it's no that was part of a reflection of your mind opening up to spirit but but but the symbols aren't causative the symbols didn't bring the mystical experience they were just reflections of it and it was like oh again it was all backwards you know like the terror of the and the fear of loss was so great because of thinking that the symbols were that important like i can't live without these symbols and you know that was more of just this gentle presence of the spirit saying oh there's much more to come you know don't don't think that this is the end of anything because you know it's just so many synchronicities so many miracles and every day just floods of miracles and going out and finding this little cat and we actually call the cat sweetie this is another sweetie that's back like what is it 1995 that's 20 20 year cycle sweetie has returned and this was the sweetie we were out we went to like a yard sale and this this cat this little kitten was sitting on these row of books and janey was like oh isn't it adorable and they said you can take him home if you want okay here we go so and then quickly naming the cat sweetie and then having a kitten coming back to the Winnebago trailer where we were living parked in the back of a barn that was part of the mystical experience it's just a friend saying just plug it in to the barn and we're just oh yeah come over and eat out of my kitchen whatever you want swim in the lake no charges for electricity go out to brooklyn michigan rent movies sit in bed cuddling watching chances are and all these spectacular metaphysical movies going into deep meditations soaring in the spirit and everything and not a care in the world just gave ourselves permission to let go of everything you know let go of the future let go of thinking we had to do anything go anywhere say anything you know just it was just a permission in the mind like to just soar and that's what it was all about and it was the permission in the mind it wasn't mine david's mind or janey's mind it was just we merged in that permission we merged in i need you nothing it was great i mean i remember sometimes i was just so blissed out that i you know they winnebago's you can open up you can take the the um the little kitchen table down and you can make it into like an i dream of genie like bottle with just pillows which she called pill use pill use everywhere pill use is all soft and i remember i'd get in there and i'd be just like uh then she'd come over we'd cuddle and watch a movie have something to eat this and this and this the only time i would get off of the i dream of genie pillow was occasionally i had to go out to pee i would just go out to pee in the grass which was two and a half feet high nobody's mowing the grass we're parked behind the back of a barn you don't have to think about anything so and then she because she had watched me go around and give all these talks on the course everything she said at one point she said it scares me to see a body so active all day long like you just go from group to group to group and you just share and talk and she was just total activity she watched me and she said it's scary then when i got into the pill you at this winnebago just let my hair grow you have each have shakes watch chances are and all these great movies and sit there in this soft pillow and cuddle and everything and she said it's scary how inactive the body can be you're not leaving you're not going anywhere except to pee or to go out to defecate or you know so it was the same thing it was it was scary to see a form that active or that inactive but i didn't care you know it was really because i'm not interested in in evaluating what a body's doing you know it was to see the most natural but you see it took a lot of permission to let myself go into that experience of not caring for the form of actually going soaring into that purpose into that joy into that presence and saying i don't care that was you know knows what our lifetimes are of meditating and postures and rituals and you know all these attempts to reach god you know through form and then it's this stunning discovery when you realize that it's been you all along your mind and you can just give over that was what lisas last year down in mexico was you just gave yourself permission to not care to be used to be in purpose but to not care about anything not care about people you know you have different ones i know different ones jeff andy did you probably go into visitor and share whatever you do share she didn't care she didn't care about the form she cared about the love but she didn't care and since she'd call me and she'd go my function was to be happy she said i'm happy here and i told i kept telling her that's your only function is to be happy and then then when the people started to leave she said the numbers are going down here should i be worried i said no so the numbers went down you know it's like they're disappearing they're falling like flies should i be concerned no i told you be happy it's the one thing you got to do just be happy it can't be that difficult just be happy and so she's okay all right i took my function very seriously but it's you have to it's all about allowance she had to really beautiful you know it's it goes against all the programming to be told just be happy because the minds got oh it's got so much programming now oh yeah just be happy right right you know but it is and it and it's all you just see how the beat goes on that when it was a big step to come leave mexico and come up here and then all kinds of miracles unfolded and then to hear about that electric stuff you know all the stuff that went on and now that it's just hilarious it's like some kind of an industrial bog that said the wires were crossed and now we've been overpaying they're gonna they're gonna give us credit you know it's just really yeah so then we put solar and the bill went up higher because the wires were like crazy guys it took a while to discover the wires were crossed that's how we started this whole talk was in your mind that the wires get crossed it's it's a bizarre time-space experience you're like lost in space like the old elders and then the wires get turned back around you get rewired then it's like oh there was no problem there it just was had the wiring crossed that's all had an ego wire that's stuck in there so it's I think there's a sense of there's a real great cause for joy and and a reminder that yeah that it's not for me to judge who am I to judge that's a line from one of Donna Marie Carries so who am I to judge how am I not myself you know that's the thing and I heard how could we have got Brad out of his Shania story over and over and over Shania this always trying to one up Shania and then the existential detectives are Billy Tomlin does how am I not myself how am I not myself how am I not myself and he's like how old his rage comes up because that was the question that he needed to be asking himself how am I not myself when I'm judging that's how I'm not myself whenever I'm judging anything then I'm not myself I wasn't created to be a judge so that's that's kind of fun to have a little can opener in there so that's kind of fun to be continued I guess every day our life we can't remember the name but an emotional polyamory and just watching watching it go from there let an Holy Spirit take the lead coming gitty that's what they were saying today in the hallway gitty up gitty up gitty up gitty for God gitty for God thank you