 Hello everyone, welcome to another Narc Survival Live video, as you can see this time I am in the car and I've got a very interesting topic for you today, something I haven't spoken about for a while as you may know I have done a few videos on this topic already but we're going to dive a little deeper into it in this one because I know this can be a very confusing thing for a lot of you because this is a common trait or experience with narcissistic people and it doesn't seem to make any sense, the narcissist hates you and you know they hate you, you can tell by how they talk to you and treat you, they insult you and put you down, they humiliate you often in public, they gossip about you behind your back, they're constantly thinking of ways to tear you down, they're always plotting against you so they've made it pretty clear that they do not like you because if you like someone you don't typically do those kinds of things and another thing is that if you are hoping or expecting to have a future with someone you're probably not going to seek to damage or destroy them or the relationship that you are meant to have together, I mean for an example if you have a computer, you plan on using it for your work, you're not going to take out a bat and start smashing it to pieces if you plan on using it long term or in the future and this is just a simple concept but if you look back at the months or years you've spent with this person, how many times have they intentionally and deliberately try to damage you and that's how you should know they always saw you as something temporary, they never really saw a future with you and yet at the same time they hold on to you, they hate you but they won't let you go and you want to know why because it's very weird I mean if you go to a restaurant and you don't like the food, you're probably not going to keep going back to that same restaurant knowing that there are plenty of other options, there are plenty of other restaurants so why would you keep going back to that same one just as why would you keep turning on the television and watching the same tv show if you don't like that tv show why not change the channel or just turn it off but narcissists are very different to normal people because they will continue to go back and return to the very thing that they say they hate or they don't agree with and yet they always have to be involved with it it's like they just can't leave it alone and this is a clear identification of their disorder of their sickness of their psychosis because a normal person if you don't like someone if you don't like something they've said or something they've done you're probably going to leave that person alone you're not going to keep going back to them you're going to let them do and be whatever is best for them and you're going to let those who can experience and find fulfillment with them you're going to let those people participate and be a part of it instead of constantly getting involved with something you say you don't agree with something you say you don't like the why not just leave it alone why keep going back to it why can't you just let it go is that making sense to everyone here the narcissist mindset because it doesn't make any sense why they hate you but at the same time they will not let you go that just doesn't add up does it but we are going to talk about that in this video and I'm going to explain how it makes sense to them in their minds and the reasons why they won't let go even though they say that they hate you or they've just made it clear through their behaviors that they do so we're going to get into that now and if you're enjoying this video so far you can show your support down below by giving it a thumbs up it will help to get this message out there to other viewers as well so please do your bit to support the channel it will take you two seconds just to click that thumbs up button down below thank you but onto the message there's something you need to understand about hate people don't just hate you for no reason I mean someone can dislike you they might dislike certain qualities or traits that you have certain ideas or opinions beliefs something you've said or done just your way of thinking yes people can dislike you for these things and there's nothing wrong with that at all people are allowed to dislike other people that's fine we're not all going to get on with everyone everyone is not meant for everyone so it's fine to dislike people and to gravitate towards certain people or groups that resonate with you but if you dislike someone or something why would you keep going back to it and what we need to understand as well is that with the narcissist it's not that they are disliking you they flat out hate you they can't stand you that's why they do the things that they do they deliberately try to harm and intimidate you because they don't just dislike you they hate you with a passion and they try to make you feel inadequate they try to target your self-esteem to make you believe that the reason why they hate you is because of something that you don't have but let me tell you people do not hate each other for what they do not have people don't just see a homeless person on the streets and hate them because they don't have any money or a place to stay it doesn't work out that way people hate not for what you don't have but for what you do have because they are envious of you and your qualities abilities possessions or luck whatever it may be yes they're envious of you because of that and they desire to take that away from you and you may already have seen that they may have stolen from you already they may have tried to attack you in some way to affect your qualities abilities or your luck they've tried to affect it in some way and the reason why is because yes they do hate you they can't stand you and they hate you because of what you do have it's not because of what you don't have people do not hate each other for what they don't have i mean just think about it imagine it put yourself in their shoes and you see someone who doesn't have something you're not going to hate them because of that if there's something that they are missing i mean especially as empaths we are going to want to give them what they need and even narcissists if they see someone who doesn't have something they are going to hate that person they will just completely overlook them treat them with contempt just ignore them they're not going to become fixated on them they become fixated on us for what we do have because what we have are many things that they do not have stating the obvious but discipline and self-control self-regulation emotional intelligence empathy kindness compassion love joy ability to experience true intimacy a deep connection we're able to enjoy the little things in life we can find satisfaction and fulfillment in things that narcissists quite clearly cannot that's why whenever they get something whether it's a new source a new car they've got to go off and flaunt it and try to impress everyone because they can't find any fulfillment in it directly they get you to filter everything through them so they can live vicariously through you if they can attempt to make you envious or jealous of something that they have whether it's a relationship or possession whatever it may be because they can't find any fulfillment in that on their own but they know it's not like that for you they know that you can find fulfillment in the things that they can't and they do not like that they're not happy with that at all in a lot of ways they wish they were you they wish they could live the way that you do they wish they could experience life in the way that you experience it and that's why they won't let you go even though they hate you because the thought of just letting you go so that you could wander off and live your life they already know you're going to be so much happier without them because they know they're just horrible company they're just not a pleasure to be around you know that person we all know a person like this they're like the life of the party they're so charming and charismatic just love it when they come around it just makes you so happy makes you feel good makes you feel warm inside because they have so much passion so much joy so much love in their hearts they're so welcoming and accommodating it's just a pleasurable experience when that person comes around the narcissist is the exact opposite of that when they come around it's just doom and gloom it's literally like that scene in i think it's harry potter and the prisoner of ascoban remember that scene with the dementors and they're like flying around they suck the life out of you they suck the joy out of any situation it's such a miserable experience when they come around and yet they delude themselves in their minds they tell themselves that you want them despite all of the hatred and envy the misery they always bring to you the way they treat you and talk down to you in their minds they actually think you want them so they come around you like that and in your mind you're just thinking not again please don't suck the joy out of yet another day and it's like they're just so disconnected from themselves and their own emotions they can't even see what they're doing to you they're making you miserable it's gotten to the point where you want nothing to do with them you just can't stand them that's why you're watching this video right now because you don't understand why there's this person who hate me so much why can't they just leave me alone why can't they just let me go haven't I made it obvious enough that I want nothing to do with them are they not able to see the expressions on my face every time they're around me to see how absolutely miserable I am to the point where it's like anytime that they're near I just feel like I just want to die it's just such a miserable experience it's depressing sucks the life the joy out of me you know that feeling like you're being sucked into a black hole but there's just no acknowledgement no understanding of your separate existence your separate ideas and beliefs your separate feelings wants and needs and it just feels like death you're just being like the life is being sucked out of you into this void that they have because all they can really do is extract attention from you to validate their illusion of them being all powerful important desirable attractive whatever else they may want to be that's why it's just this void it's like a vacuum cleaner it just sucks you it sucks all the goodness the nourishment out of you to validate their false self and the illusion and they have nothing to reciprocate or to give to you in return they have no value of their own whatsoever and that's why they won't let you go because they can see that you do have value and they're trying to extract value from you and they also can't stand the thought of you moving on and being happy without them which they know that's exactly what's going to happen if they do let you go that's the whole point of them being around if they knew that they could let you go and you'd still be miserable and depressed they would forget about you so easily they would leave you for months even years as long as they know you're miserable without them they can't let you go because they know you're going to be happy if they go yeah they're not that stupid they know they know the effect that they have on people they know they bring you down they make you miserable depressed they know what their presence does to you yes they understand that and that's actually why they come around you it's to bring you down yeah they know how toxic how foul they are they understand how that is affecting you and that's giving them supply as well they get enough in it they love intimidating you making you miserable making you feel down that's why they attach to you to prevent you from moving on to prevent you from being happy without them because they already know that you will be if they leave you alone and it's also because you have things that they quite simply do not have that they do not possess qualities abilities possessions luck all of these things discipline and self-control empathy compassion love joy heart you've got all of these things and they want to come around you to rob you of your qualities and virtues so that they can get you to filter all of this wonderful stuff about you through them so then they can live vicariously through you and get that energetic exchange that nourishment through your passion for life which they do not naturally possess but if they can get you to filter it through them they can let them live vicariously through you and feel like it's theirs which is just another part of their delusion so the key component really to why they hate you but won't let you go it's quite simply the envy and hatred and envy they really go hand in hand anyone who hates they hate because they are envious otherwise they were just simply dislike you now there's nothing wrong with that someone who dislikes you it doesn't mean that they hate you or that they're envious or jealous I mean disliking something or someone that's perfectly fine you might dislike something about them just for no reason something just may irritate you about them it could be the way they dress the way they talk could just be any little thing that irritates you and that's perfectly fine it doesn't mean that you envy them but narcissists are seeking to harm you to intimidate and coerce you now that is hatred and as I said hatred goes hand in hand with envy and not only that but there is actually a fine between love and hatred they're two very passionate emotions and for someone to hate something they must have loved it at some point it's just they hate because these qualities these abilities possessions or whatever it is that you have they hate because it's not theirs they hate because it's you and not them and this is another thing that I just can't understand because I look back throughout my life and I've seen people many times yeah they were far more successful than I was at that time they had a lot more going on in their lives I remember there was one time that was only 22 years old we live on quite a nice street in the UK it's a home of six homes they're all multi-million pound mansions with four floors five bedrooms five bathrooms the gyms jacuzzi sauna steam room everything so it's quite a nice street and at this time I was about 22 we had a British Premier League footballer living next door very wealthy boy he was about the same age about 22 as well obviously a multimillionaire and he had a lot of nice cars and one day I was coming home I was just driving in just opening the gate to park my car outside the house and then I saw him he saw me driving back then suddenly he just decided to pose with obviously he just bought this brand new Bentley continental GT and he's posing in front in front of it I don't know if he was trying to make me jealous or something but I was even affected it didn't even bother me at all even though I didn't have even a fraction of the amount of success that he has but I was thinking in my minds yeah you're not good standing next to your your new Bentley and I would have happily have taken a photo of him with the car outside his mansion I mean I had nothing against it at all I thought it was quite strange it's like he was waiting for me to come home just so he could pose with his new car I mean if anything it kind of it spoke to me that he was envious of me and at the time I was kind of thinking you know I don't know why you think I'm so great but now I look back and I can see it's my qualities and you can see it by videos you know just the way that I am I'm just naturally very happy and carefree just self-satisfied I find happiness in the little things and I can be happy for other people and I don't tend to get envious of anyone because I look at it like yeah if you you have a nice big mansion you've got a brand new Bentley if you can achieve that then why can't I and great if you put the work in working you earned it I'm happy for anyone who works hard to earn what they want in life and yes I do believe that we should praise compliment and congratulate those people I mean even these footballers I know some people may think it's unfair like they they just play sports so that they make millions a year and yeah I can kind of get that but anyone can also work hard in football to achieve that position as well and they do work very hard it's not an easy sport I mean there is a lot of pressure involved as well a lot of stress I did any moments I believe that they they can be dropped by the team and then they can go from earning all of that money to earning next to nothing so there's a lot of things that people don't see as well that's why I really just thank anyone who works hard congratulate those people it's amazing it's better than narcissists who just cheat their way through life they lie they manipulate they steal so let's be happy for people who work hard but yeah I mean that's another thing it's like someone can have so much more than you and yet they're envious of you and you may be thinking what are you envious of me for I don't really have much money I don't have a nice car I don't have a big house I don't have the perfect husband wife family just because you're you it's because you don't even need any of that stuff well they're heavily dependent on it and you're just satisfied with yourself it's not like that for them they have to go out of their way to prove and to obtain and even then they never feel like it's enough and it's the same thing with these narcissists they hate but they won't let you go because they feel like they're not enough on their own without you that's why they attach to you if they felt like they were enough on their own they would just leave you be they would let you go they attach because they feel like they're not enough without you and this goes for any addiction I mean they have a lot of addictions they're addicted to people they've got their sources of supply they're enablers they're flying monkeys they've got all of these people because they feel like they're not enough on their own that's why and many of them they're addicted to tobacco alcohol recreational drugs sex pornography shopping gambling video games whatever else it may be all of these things it's to help them to cope with the fact that they feel like they're not enough that's all that it is that's what it comes down to so they're attached to you and they won't let you go even though they hate you because they feel like they're not enough on their own without you that is what it is and that is why anything they try to achieve just falls apart because they're holding on to you and yet at the same time they're trying to go off and build a new relationship or to become successful in something and it's like how can that work when they're attached to you and they're attached to you because they feel like they're not enough so how is that ever going to work for them you need to feel like you're enough first before you get into a certain job or before you get into a relationship i mean just look at these knocks you see them when they're new with a new source they get with a new source and then they're devaluing them or if they're not devaluing the new source because they're a knock as well they're targeting someone outside of the relationship and it's all because they feel like they're not enough and of course two knocks in a relationship of course are going to feel like they're not enough because they both have a void so they're never going to complete each other at least when you were with an ass says you could kind of complete them in the moment although it didn't last for long when two people who both have a void they just have to constantly target people outside of the relationship because they both feel like they're not enough and this is why they hate you they won't let you go but at the same time they're not really comfortable being around you as well because you do feel like you're enough and i know you do because an ass who says they come around you they've got to target your self-esteem they try to take it away how can you take away something that isn't already there think about that for a moment when they're targeting your self-esteem when they're trying to take your confidence away from you they can't take something that way that you've already got so yes you do have self-esteem you have self-worth you have self-respect many of you yes you do love yourself that's how the narcissist got in they got in by reflecting back to you your own qualities and virtues by reflecting back to you what you were about you fell in love with the reflection of yourself because yes you do have self-esteem you do love yourself and that's another thing that they get invigous of because they do not love themselves they have very low self-esteem they're very insecure they feel like they're not enough and many of us we have worked hard in our lives we have achieved a lot and yeah we do have some pride we do have some self satisfaction and there's nothing wrong with that at all i've done so much research for the past six years into narcissistic abuse and narcissistic personality disorder i've been making videos every day for almost five and a half years i've achieved over 170,000 subscribers over 40 million views i've got about 17,000 followers on tiktok and yeah i'm proud of that i'm proud of everything that we have accomplished together as a team because yeah well i'm proud i also know i never could have done this on my own this channel there's nothing about the viewers the subscribers but that's another thing that narcissists can't stand about us it's our pride because our pride is real we've actually worked hard we've actually built something for real in our lives narcissists they cheat their ways through life they lie they manipulate their future fate they deceive they cheat they con they scam them they trick so anything they've got is just a false sense of pride they know it's not real they know they don't deserve it they know they have a worked for it they have an indent it's all fake and they know it's fake and that is why they're so insecure because they know that they're imposters they know they're frauds they're con artists and then they look at you and it's like ah you don't have to do that you could just be yourself you don't have to put on an act you don't have to manipulate anyone i mean of course just think about these knocks on my past i mean if they've seen my youtube they must be thinking so easy for you you could just get on just record a video a live video you could just sit in the car in your hotel room and i'm speaking third person now about myself but i'm trying to talk from from a narcissist's point of view about myself here you know how they might see it is that i can easily just go live on youtube anytime on tiktok make these videos i don't have to do anything to impress you i don't have to put on an act i don't have to do anything special or out the ordinary i could just get on here all you see is my face i just talk to you 30 minutes one hour gets thousands of views earns a revenue and i'm just being myself i'm being authentic i'm speaking my mind i'm saying exactly what i think i'm not pretending i'm not putting on an act i don't have to trick or deceive anyone i don't have to manipulate i don't need to false character it's not like that for them it's not like that for them at all they have to fake their way through life they have to pretend to be something they're not just imagine how much work how much energy that must use and they have to be that way the rest of their life there's never a time where they can just let go and let their hair down and just be themselves they have no self the rowers just put it on to mac to impress people to get their narcissistic supply or they're intimidating they're coercing they're just doing whatever they can to feed their ego they can't just do like what i'm doing right now just i mean i'm just sitting in a car outside my hotel just completely just being myself no fear of being judged i honestly i don't really care what any of you think about me i'm not really bothered if you like me or not i mean if you don't like me you don't have to watch this video but of course you know i do hope that you do find something good out of it i hope that it helps you i do have empathy but if you don't like me that's okay too that's fine narcissists don't have that experience they can't just get on here and do what i do and it's amazing thing for me as well when i look back through my older videos i mean i've done so many live videos now and i often watch them back because i can quite honestly say i am very proud of myself i look back at my older live videos i watch them every day and it just amazes me how much i knew back then i'm just so proud of the work that i've done the way that i'm able to convey these messages using my own words from my own research and experience just the way that i'm able to articulate it to express it it's a beautiful thing and honestly i look back at my past videos and yeah i i genuinely do love myself at this point i really do and i watch myself and i think wow i wish i could have a friend like that in my life was more like myself and this is the point that we need to get to i mean i know that can sound a bit narcissistic you have to understand we are empaths codependent we need to be moving more in the middle of the codependency and narcissism spectrum because we're too far on one end so we do need to start looking at ourselves spend more time looking in the mirror acknowledging yourself noticing things that you like most about yourself this is very important for us to do we must practice self-love even narcissists they lack self-love they actually hate themselves it's a false self which they deem to be perfect that's the only way that they can cope is by having that i'm not talking about that we need to develop real self-love after we've been targeted by a narcissist and it's brought us down so every day every morning every night before you go to sleep look in the mirror and just pick up one thing that you really like about yourself and it could be your eyes your lips i mean it you know not not something so much where you're like oh i like my bum or my chest or something like that i mean i i'm i'm talking about something more more modest you know just something cute about yourself because you don't want to objectify yourself sexually i mean that's not real self-love it's good to be respectful of yourself so look at yourself in the mirror fully closed in the morning before you go to sleep at night and just look at your own face and you just decide what do you like about it forget about everyone else what anyone else thinks what do you like could be your eyes your lips could be your hair could be anything whatever you like and also just remind yourself every day of your qualities write your qualities down what do you like most about yourself this is very important it will build your confidence and it's very attractive it really is when a person is not self-conscious they're not constantly thinking about am i okay do i look good they're just kind of being themselves i mean i think sometimes to my cat nala maybe that that's kind of what i love about her it's like you know nala's never looking in the mirror thinking i don't know am i getting a bit fat it's my fur too dark she's never thinking like that she's never thinking are my whiskers too long or anything she's just being herself that's all a cat can be they're not looking at other cats and getting jealous of the color of their fur or whatever else it may be the color of their eyes i don't know they can only be themselves there is no other option and that is a very attractive trait in humans and people when they're just being themselves because they realize that's all they can be and they're not comparing themselves to anyone else they just stay in their own lane they're just doing what they do and it's like you like it or you don't like it either way it doesn't bother them they're not going to change they're just going to keep doing them they're just going to keep being who they are and i find that really attractive when someone isn't so worried about what i'm thinking about them they're just more focused on themselves and not in a narcissistic type of way but with real self-confidence they're self assured i find that very attractive it's kind of like how we used to be when we were children we weren't scrolling through social media looking at other people's faces bodies their lives comparing ourselves to them we weren't doing that when we were kids why are we doing that now if you're doing that you need to stop start loving yourself right now this is me i'm giving you permission to love yourself actually i'm giving you permission to give yourself permission to love yourself because i have to give that power to you to make that decision i don't want to have any control over whether or not you choose to love yourself that power needs to be in your hands but if it helps you if it gives you confidence then yeah i give you permission to give yourself permission to do that this is nark survivor telling you to do it practice self love practice self care merry christmas to you faith and it was christmas eve here in japan now just another hour it's going to be midnight it will be christmas and it's going to be a lonely one for me without my nala we were together last year but i had a picture of her sent to me today which was nice to see i don't know i spoke about it before we're very lucky to have that as empaths i mean when you really know how much someone means to you and how much you love them it's not when they're right next to you it's not when you hold to them in your arms it's when they're not even there when you're apart especially at a time like christmas when you're on your own you're alone this person a pet whoever it may be this person you love they're not with you that's when you really feel it in your heart just how much that person or pet means to you you don't feel it that much when they're with you i mean that's when we tend to take them for granted if we're honest i mean it's not just narcissists we all take people for granted it's normal it's natural but when we're apart that's when we really miss them absence makes the heart grow fonder it really does nothing much there's knocks out here clubbing doing drugs talking in front of stores in the dark they're too comfortable being a menace yeah it was like that i remember when i was a teenager we'd just be standing outside the stores oh i saw some horrible things i remember you see these girls 10 11 years old they're smoking drinking alcohol everything that's what these kids are like these days they're already smoking drinking doing drugs before they're even teenagers they're already sleeping around having one nightstands smoking cannabis maybe even injecting themselves with heroin they do it all that stuff it's a common thing i've seen you're in japan as well in all honesty i didn't expect it until i got here and i've really started to see it more and more especially among the women they're very much into their alcohol their tobacco their tattoos and piercings and it's very dark stuff like he's really like deranged almost like psychopathic things i just find it so sad i mean many of you you know what i'm like i'm like i'm a man's man i really am i'm like a typical boy i like all of the boy stuff you know what i'm like i like hiking like animals big animals tigers lions bears wolves i'm like hiking in the forest in the dark not afraid of snakes not afraid of anything i like doing crazy dangerous stuff i like getting dirty i like going in the mud i like driving fast in the car i like wearing black i like my own piercings and i got my own tattoos yeah i guess i am a bit of a bad boy i most definitely have been in the past the last thing i need is a bad girl i don't like that at all i like girls who are very innocent humble modest inexperienced submissive that's more my kind of thing but yeah i've met a lot of girls like that already i think it used to be like that in japan before things have changed a lot and i really blame the celebrities the music just this club culture has changed everything social media and a lot of the guys here as well i mean the guys are letting this happen they're making it possible it's very sad but yeah it's just not my cup of tea at all i don't like girls who smoke drink have tattoos piercings sleeper browns i like girls who submit to a manly man who's ready to teach and lead them show them the right way and preserve their innocence their purity because i believe that's a man's duty that's a man's job criminal minded yeah well i know i say i'm a bit of a bad boy but anyone anyone who's involved in criminal activities of course you know i am i'm still that art survivor as well i don't mess with anyone who's involved in that no anyone who's engaged in any type of a legal well moral activities you can't get involved with me if you're doing that no chance i mean yeah it's it's all right you know having a bit of fun you know like little things you know we like to do dangerous things maybe you like to drive a little bit over the the speed limits you know on a country road somewhere not in a built-up area away from pedestrians or you know you like to drive fast you know that kind of thing yeah i can understand but when it comes to like criminal activities things that are moral harm and other people i'm completely against that i mean i'm a vegan myself i don't even like eating meat i don't like anything being harmed no that's why i'm completely against narcissistic abuse i'm against all kinds of abusers criminals narcissists psychopaths gangstalkers i'm against all of that it's important to make that clear anyone i associate with any friends anyone they've got to be good people they've got to be productive members of society hardworking they must be bringing value contributing to the community they must be empathic caring loving people because that's what i'm about yeah like boy stuff of course my man's man i like getting dirty i like getting rough i don't like any stuff like that no i resonate more with being an alpha male leading people the right way it's about building communities for the future for our children we don't want to go backwards we don't want to destroy any of that of course not that's what these dogs do and that's why at all costs i do my best to avoid them because i can't stand people like that can't stand them menaces anti-social personalities sociopaths no thank you i don't want to get caught up in that i want to live a clean righteous life as the man of god that i am and that's not something that's ever going to stop i will continue on that journey until the day that i die but yeah it's time for me now to go in get some sleep it's christmas tomorrow i'm gonna have my vegan dinner tomorrow and then after that i gotta go check into the house where i'm staying i think this time i got a house booked for myself i'll be all on my own hopefully in the middle of nowhere you guys know how much i love my peace i love isolation especially being isolated with a cute girl nothing wrong with that but yeah i also enjoy being completely alone as well i love my own company i love my own peace there's nothing greater than that but yeah that's it i'm gonna get some sleep now i've got a premiere starting in three hours so make it out of that that's it for this video i hope it was helpful for you and if it was you can show your support down below by giving it a thumbs up let me know what you think about it in the comment section i'm reading a commentary day subscribe click all notifications to be notified when i upload a video if you would like to book a one-on-one you can do that on my website at isnarksviver.uk and follow me on instagram it is narksviver youtube thank you all for joining me on another narksviver live video i appreciate your love and support and i look forward to speaking with you in another live video very soon merry christmas