 The curtain rises on Act 2 of Peace It's Wonderful, starring Mark Stevens as Terry. Well, here we go again, you and me and all the little green people. You know what happened? Pamela came home from Egypt. Pamela brought with her the wisdom of one Mahoula Ahmed Ishmael. And Pamela is driving Terry nuts. She's also driving all of Terry's friends far, far away. When Terry wants to smoke, it's peace, it's wonderful. Terry blows the match out and puts the pipe down. When Terry wants a pick-me-up, it's peace, it's wonderful. And Terry pours it down the drain. Right now, Terry is standing tippy-toe on the brink of the ledge overlooking Crichton Bay. It's 300 feet down to the rocks in the murmuring sea. Tell me not in mournful numbers life is but an empty dream. Life is real, life is earnest. I used to know a football player named Ernest. You did? What'd he do? He sat on the bench most of the time. In the summer, he was a plumber. Hey, that rhymes. Yeah, he fixed pipes. Uh-huh. Well, I bet he couldn't fix my pipes. What? Handler threw them all in the garbage. Hmm, woe is you. Yeah, woe is me. Woe, woe. Yeah, woe. Cathy, old boy, tell me, what am I going to do about Pamela? Drown her in a bathtub. No, no good. Pamela doesn't drown. She can't. Why, what did she do? Take her bath, wearing water wings? No, she's immortal. She is? Yes, she said so. She's as old as time and she's been reincarnated more times than you can shake a stick at. Is that bad? Not according to her. And it doesn't matter what I think. Peace. It's wonderful. Yeah, I can see it's doing wonders for you, all right. Pamela even admits that she's an angel. How do they go with a backless dress? How does what go? Her wings. Well, Pamela doesn't need any wings, Cathy. She knows how to fly around without them. Levitation. Oh, yeah, that's a good trick. Yeah, if you can do it. She wants me to fly around with her. And I'm finding it a little tough. Well, it doesn't sound unreasonable. And that isn't all. Pamela wants me to climb up to the tip-top of imaginary pyramids from gamble in Elysian fields. Who's Elysian Fields and what race did he ever win? Elysian Fields is not a horse, Cathy. It's a garden about the size of Texas full of daffy daffodils and daisies knotting in the breeze. You're obviously uneducated. Not only that, I'm illiterate. Pamela says I don't meditate enough, but I do, Cathy. I meditate and meditate and meditate. All that happens is that my legs go to sleep. Maybe you don't meditate in the right atmosphere. Why don't you wrap yourself up in a sheet? Get a goat. Be a hermit. A hermit's a good meditator. Yeah. Yeah, I could get a sheet and a goat. Or where would I get a mountain with a cave? What do you want a mountain with a cave for? Cut, but sometimes I think you're stupid. Who ever heard of a hermit without a mountain cave to his name? It's a must. Now why? Well, I don't know. Maybe it's a union rule. Terry. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I've got an idea. You have? Yep. My roof. Huh? Well, my roof and meditate. My roof is high like a mountain. Higher than some. Yeah. And your house is just a pile of rocks. Oh, cut, but I'm a genius. If I'm a meditating hermit, meditating up on my roof, I'll be close to home. Much easier to commute. Come on, Cathy. Let's you and me go and find a goat. What are you wrapped up in that sheet for? Spreading around the house like a Hindu. I am looking for a safety pin. What for? I obviously want to fasten my sheet better. Have you gone out of your mind? Why don't you wear your bathrobe? Can't do it. Why? It's hanging in your dressing room. Hermits cannot wear bathrobes. It's against the hermit union. Hermits? Mm-hmm. What have hermits got to do with you? Probably nothing. I don't think hermits have anything to do with other hermits. That's why they're hermits. Oh, Terry. Terry, darling, are you ill? No, never felt better and more or less. Oh, Terry, you stopped your clowning right this minute. What do you think of it? I wish you'd find out what that horrible smell is all over the house. Must be something dead in the basement. That is not a very nice thing to say about Alagonquin. About what? It's not a what. It's a who and also a he. Well then, who is he? He is my goat and he's not in the basement. I've got him locked in the upstairs bathroom. A goat? In the upstairs bathroom? Terrent. Now, now, Pamela, Pamela, don't get excited. Peace, peace. It's wonderful. My goat won't be in the bathroom long. He's coming up in the roof with me. Up on the... Oh, Terry. Terry, no, I know you're ill. No, no, I'm not. I'm a hermit. Or at least I will be as soon as I can find me a safety pin. Well, it just doesn't seem possible in the 20th century, but there they are, crack pots among the chimney pots. Terry and Alagonquin up on the roof, meditating like mad. And Pamela, somehow she's forgotten all about the sweet serenity of soothing soosers. She's just plain mad. M-A-D. Peace, it's wonderful. Oh, I'm Terry the wary and a hermit. I'd burn it and soon the neighbors will learn it. I'm up on the roof so very aloof in the world down below I spurn it. Some people have boats while hermits have goats, but boats can't live on tin cans. Some goats can give milk like cows and their ilk is in life full of wonderful plans. Oh, I'm a Terry the wary, a hermit, you see. Terry. Who calleth upon the name of Mohammed Pasha Terry? Oh, come down from that roof this very instant. Peace, it's wonderful. Down from there, Terry. I am not. Quiet. Alagonquin is helping me meditate. Go away. Your thought waves are unharmonious. Beside, your aura is all purple with violent and red spot. Oh, peace, it's wonderful. Oh, very dare make a darn fool of yourself. Hope you fall off and being shut up. Yes, it's Mrs. Hagdon speaking. Make a pardon? Yes, I already know there's a man to go to my roof. Thanks for calling. Oh, that idiotic idiot. I'd like to crown him with a... I'd like to teach him a lesson that he'll never... Oh, for heaven's sake. Yes, this is... This is Mrs. Arrington. Thank you. Thank you, but I already happen to know about the man and the goat of my roof. Thank you. So help me if one more person calls out. Oh, no, dear angels. Hello? This is the city morgue. Did you wish to inquire about a body? I'm just about at my wit's end. That silly fool's still up there with that even sillier goat. Maybe you can do something with him, Cuthbert. You're his friend. Yeah, I'm his friend, but you're his wife. And anyway, I'm not so good as a roof getter down or offer. It's out of my line. I'm strictly real estate. Oh, Cuthbert. He does make a rather striking sight, doesn't he? Up there on the ridge pole among the chimney pots. Oh, I'll make a striking sight out of him if I ever get my hands on him. Peace, it's wonderful, Pamela. Oh, peace be doggone. I want Terry to come down from there. I love him, the big moose. How are you with a 30-art one? Terry's got one in his gun room. You mean shoot them down? Sure. Oh, no. No, I can't stand killing animals. Oh, uh, Pamela. What? I thought you might be interested in this news clipping I cut out of time. What is it? Some humorous diatribe about Terry and that goat up on it? No, no, no. Shall I read it to you? Go ahead. I'm graced. You better be. Oh, God. Oh, that's not all. Wait. George Peabody Jones was arrested today and held by Egyptian authorities for deportation to the United States, where he is wanted on warrants charging with fraud, felonious conspiracy, embezzlement, and tax evasion. Oh. While in Egypt, Ishmael, alias peace, it's wonderful, Jones, preyed upon many gulfs. Oh, God. Oh, that's not all. Wait. George Peabody Jones was arrested today and held by Egyptian authorities for deportation to the United States, preyed upon many gulfs. Oh, no. Oh, yes. I'm afraid it's, oh, yes, Pamela. I think you can pass the buck to Brother Jones for Terry's being up on the roof and also having an affinity for goats. Well, yes, but I... You see, Pam, he didn't have any choice. There wasn't any peace that's wonderful here in the house, so now he's looking for a little piece that's wonderful up on the roof. I guess it comes as somewhat of a shock to you, Pamela, but for both of your sakes, I thought I ought to let you know. Oh, dear. Peace up on top of the pyramids is wonderful, I guess, but peace in the home is even wonderfuler. Just call me little Ray of Sunshine Cuthbert. Sing a song of sixpence, no pockets full of rye. Sheet's on made with pockets, and neither was made eye. What's the use of pockets away up in the sky and up upon a rooftop where the birdies fly? Oh, Terry, it's full-sized Harrington. Oh, shrieketh, my name in vain. I'm giving you just one last chance, Terry, to come down off that roof. Come on, we're just getting used to it up here. A high altitude agrees with this. Doesn't it, Allie Gonkman? Uh-uh. I've just elected myself president of the Amalgamated Association of Rooftop, Sitter Upper Honors, and Allie is first vice president. Do you second the motion, Allie? Is that your final answer? Final and irrevocable. Right, Allie? All right, Mr. Smarty-Pants, we shall see what we shall see. Oh, fix him. Hello? Is this the fire department? Oh, fine. I'd like to report a fire. Oh, it's at 77 Sheffield Drive, Croydon Bay. Yes, yes, the Harrington House. Oh, you needn't hurry too fast. You see, I'm just setting fire to it now. Thank you. Allie, I can smell smoke. Can you smell smoke? Sun isn't broiling your brains, is it? Well, it couldn't be mine, I haven't got any. Oh, fire engines. Fire engines and smoke. One and one equals two. Hey, you know what I think, Allie? I think Pamela is burned up. Oh, peace, it's wonderful. The curtain falls in the final act of He's Six Wonderful. Our star, Mark Stevens, will return for a curtain call after this timely message from Wendell Niles. Young man, volunteer today for enlistment in the U.S. Army or the U.S. Air Force. The Army and the Air Force wish to meet their manpower requirements with a greatest possible number of volunteers. Hundreds of jobs in a wide variety of career fields in both the Army and Air Force are open to volunteers who can qualify. If you are single and between the ages of 18 and 34, get full details at your nearest U.S. Army and U.S. Air Force recruiting station today. Now, back to our star and your host, C.P. McGregor. Welcome back again, Mark. Thank you, C.P. I'm always glad to get your invitation to come on over. Well, whenever we had something a little different, I know you're the one to handle it. That play we did a year or so ago was certainly different. You mean, Hubert? We had some fine response from that story. Hubert, he was that little character that kept running through the play with no clothes on. That's all right. No ensam, but you. It was just a figment of your imagination. And the goat in this play. Now, there's an idea. Coastaring me with a goat. Where did you dig him up? Well, he belongs to Afra. That's just dandy. Paid up card and everything. Pat agreed, too. Well, he should go places. Anyway, C.P., you round up stories like Hubert and the goat. Give me a call, because I'd like to tackle them. I'll get a writer to start worrying about it right now. Incidentally, I just saw the picture Prowl car that you made with Edmund O'Brien and Gale Storm for Columbia. Well, I hope you liked it. I certainly did. I think all three of you were great, and that goes for the supporting cast, too. I wonder if it's playing theaters all over the country by now. Well, Prowl car should be in complete national release at this time or will be shortly. Well, I know our listeners will be on the lookout for it. Thanks a lot for the picture mention and for the invitation to do another play over here, C.P. Surely? Now, how's about telling me what's doing here next week? I'd be glad, too. Well, Mark, and ladies and gentlemen, we have a very exciting story planned for you called Back Home. Making his first appearance in our theater is Richard Widmark, who stars as a gang leader and a holdup man set to rob the bank in his hometown. I know you'll enjoy it. I'm sure I will. Well, so long, C.P., and thanks. Goodbye, Mark. And thanks for joining us. Be sure to listen next week, ladies and gentlemen, when Richard Widmark stars in an exciting drama Back Home. Until next week then, this is C.P. McGregor saying thanks for listening and cheerio from Hollywood. Mark Stevens appeared to the courtesy of the Hollywood coordinator for Betty, which arranges for the appearance of all stars in this program. The script was by Kimbele S. Sant with the music of Eddie Dunstead. This program is transcribed in Hollywood for release at this time. Wendell Niles speaking.