 Do you think you could eat a baseball if you try? I mean, you could eat leather for sustenance. So like, what comes down to eating a baseball is the truth. I mean, who do you verse things out here? Yeah, ever since Subway abandoned us and that Saudi bank foreclosed on us, it's been a pretty hard time. But we've been roughing it in the Midwestern woods ever since. I mean, I've studied homology, okay? Here's the thing. If you know about homology, you know that woods is one of the best places you can actually live. Because there's so much food everywhere. There's eggs everywhere. There's food everywhere. There's eggs everywhere. And there's tons of sitting water. There's tons of shelter and trees everywhere. It's really actually the safest place to live. It's definitely better than a city because you've got dogs everywhere in the city and they're attacking and cars and those are dangerous and so on, right? So I'm pretty happy out here in the woods myself. At first, you know, we have to resort to talking to trees and bugs to keep our sanity. But eventually the power of our friendship overcame our civilized minds and now we just have unrelented creative freedom. Hey, guys, what's going on? Hey, John. It's Evan. It's Evan, are you doing all right, buddy? He's not looking good. He's not looking good. It's not so great. Try getting some eggs in him. Yeah, he ate like four eggs right before this. Yeah, he came right back up. I'll take it. Probably smoking's not good. I think the smoking might help a little bit. Yeah, I'll kill the bacteria. But he's been smoking all morning and that clearly is not good for him. We've all picked up smoking habits to keep ourselves sharp. Cook County's been on our ass, the Forest Service, and you know, we've been moving around a lot trying to keep a low profile, keeping our eyes open, you know what I'm saying? Josh told me he saw more the other day. John, tell me about what? Where? Yeah. He was just in there. Really? He got some eggs, too. Like a real ass bore? Yeah, like a real bore. Shit, dude. Damn, a real bore. Is that like okay? Yeah, I was messed up. Find one? Oh, there you go. Bores come up to me, babe. I saw some snakes earlier today, too. Huh? Nothing. Just talking about the boars I saw. Three of them. Big snakes. Put that up so we don't follow him into the woods. Yeah, when you're on the forest, you don't have a refrigerator, right? So you have to forage for fresh eggs every day. And the thing about the forest is, the forest is bountiful, but it is definitely not delicious. Why make sure to have a trusty thing of hot sauce on my side at all times. Spice up all the eggs just in case we need it. Well, my dad wouldn't let me have any of his hot sauce, so now we're stuck buying our own from the store. What do you got? It's a baseball, dude. Oh, it's a baseball. I thought that was an egg. Yeah. It's still good, though, right? Yeah, that's... Is that one of ours? I think that's one of ours. Dude, it might be another... Is there another team practice out here, you think? Do you think someone else is out here playing ball? Are they scouting us, maybe? Well, our first idea to raise cash was to start a minor league baseball team, the Skokie Donkeys. Go Donks! Go Donks! But, you know, we've been spending a lot of time honing our skills in preparation, but the mayor still hasn't gotten back to us. All right, yeah, yeah, let's go for two. Let's go for two. You got the sick big one. Yeah! Whoa! Whoa, dude. Touch the metals, bro. You okay, man? Get some eggs in here. Come on. Sick down, bro. Sick discipline. Look it up. The only hiccup in the whole baseball scheme is keep losing the damn balls. I mean, hit them out there and just fuck final where they go. So, you know, every once in a while, meet one of the boys, you know, heads into town, get some cash with them, and, you know, buy some baseballs, hot sauce, cigarettes, the basics. Our jobs and our families behind to bring you comedy around the clock. That's why we need your help with this Patreon. If we're going to survive this harsh Midwestern wilderness, we're going to need your help. So check out the link in the description. Find us on Patreon. Sign up and get access to all the exclusive things we mentioned. Thank you so much for your support. Love you all. God bless America. God bless United States. God bless two. God bless three. God bless six. God bless hot sauce. God bless cigarettes. Eight. Six. Hot sauce. Eight. Six. Hot sauce. Eight. Six. Hot sauce. Eight. Six. Hot sauce. Eight. Six. Hot sauce. Eight. Six. Hot sauce. Eight. Six. Six hot sauce, eggs, six hot sauce, eggs, six hot sauce. Eggs, eggs, hot sauce. Yo, I think I got my cigarette finally tucked in a perfect place, so I don't even have to try to hold it in anymore. That's chill.