 The Craft Foods Company, makers of craft quality food, presents Harold Perry as the Great Gilder Sleeve. The Great Gilder Sleeve is brought to you by the Craft Foods Company, makers of the one and only Miracle Whip salad dressing. Here's a really different kind of salad dressing with a really different flavor. Downright appealing, Miracle Whip is not too sharp and yet not too mild. It has a just exactly right flavor folks really go for. Taste Miracle Whip yourself. Let your family enjoy it on a cool and colorful salad. See if you all don't agree with the millions of folks who prefer delightfully different Miracle Whip. Gilder Sleeve had spring fever today. He was moving around the office about as fast as Leroy's turtle. But things began to pick up for the water commissioner when the mayor asked him if he'd mind taking his vacation right away. Do I mind? I've got a lot of children. Where is everybody? You call me aunt? Yes, Leroy. Where am I? You're in a bridegroom. Oh, they're all swinging in the hammock. I put it up and they took it. No, I love birds. Well, love birds need a swing, Leroy. Have you asked me, those two need a cage. I'll, Leroy, let's go out and talk to them. I'm taking my vacation this year, the last two weeks in June. That soon? Huh? Well, let's talk it over with Marjorie and Bronco. Back off a honeymoon. Leroy, a honeymoon isn't a vacation. What's the difference? On both of them you take trips. There's a difference, Leroy. A honeymoon is without pay and a vacation's with pay. Look at the newlyweds swinging in the hammock. Yeah. Can't just you and I go. What? I need a vacation from that lovey-dovey stuff. Makes a little kid not even want to grow up. Listen to him, honk. Isn't this wonderful Bronco darling? I've got you. No, Marge darling. I'm the luckiest. I've got you. No, I'm the luckiest. Oh, no. I'm the luckiest. Well, both be lucky if that old hammock doesn't break. Eh, eh, eh, Marjorie? Anyway, I'm the happiest person in the world. What did I tell you, honk? Stand right beside him and they don't even see us. Love is blind. No, just a little death, Leroy. Marjorie, Bronco, children. Leroy. Oh. Oh, Mr. Giller-Sleeve. Hello, honky. We were just swinging in the hammock. Yeah, so I noticed. I thought I'd come out and talk to you about vacation. Yeah, honk's got the last two weeks in June. Oh, that's wonderful, honky. But that'll be in a couple of days. You bet. I'm a fast worker and a fast vacationer. How about it, Bronco? Can you take the time off from the real estate business? Well, I'll ask the boss. Eh? How about it, boss? Okay, Bronco. Thanks, boss. You see, Mr. Giller-Sleeve, I'm my own boss. Oh, brother. Very good, Bronco. Very good. I can see this is going to be a great vacation. Oh, yes, sir. Marge and I are ready. I made a little money off you and the Jolly Boys when I sold you that houseboat, Mr. Giller-Sleeve. Oh, yes. Oh, where are we going, honky? Are we going to rent a cabin in the mountains again? How about a dude ranch, like the Bar 20? Take it easy, Hoppy. We've had some very heavy expenses this year. What, with the wedding and all? Yeah, that's set new back, Mr. Giller-Sleeve. Well, I've been thinking we might vacation on the houseboat. On the houseboat? Hey, that'd be keen. Yeah, we can cruise down the river and stop whenever we feel like it. Have our own private riverboat. Boy, just like Huckleberry Finn. Mr. Giller-Sleeve, you've got a dandy idea there. It does sound like fun, honky. Bronco, we can stroll on the deck in the moonlight. Yeah. Well, Captain Giller-Sleeve will be on the bridge smoking a cigar. And I'll be catching catfish off the poop deck. That's right, Leroy. Mr. Giller-Sleeve, who's going to cook the meals? Meals? Breakfast, lunch and dinner. He wouldn't think of that. Growing husband. Well, for two weeks I guess I could cook. I'm not going. My cooking isn't that bad. Of course it isn't, my dear. But why don't we play safe and take birdie, huh? Oh, good idea. Not that I don't think you couldn't do it, Marge Darling, but we're still on our honeymoon. A born diplomat. Well, it's all set then, huh? We'll vacation on the houseboat. Well, have you talked to the other Johnny boys about it, honky? No, I just got the idea. I'll tell P.D. and the fellas about it tomorrow. Bye, George. This is the most wonderful idea I ever had. Hey, Yank, what if the Johnny boys want a vacation on it too? Leroy, they'd never think of that now. What can I do for you this morning? Well, you can just listen, P.D. I want to tell you about a great idea. I have. You don't change. You bet. P.D.? You know, that's quite a coincidence, Mr. Gilderstein. I just had an idea myself. Care to hear it? Well, after I tell you mine, P.D. I think he's the only one that can have an idea. Huh? I was just telling the little family. Blow hard. P.D., are you listening to me? Well, every word. Well, I was telling the little family about my idea. Well, I was telling Mrs. P.D. about my idea. P.D., listen to me. I'm the customer. You're not a customer until you buy something. Well, I'm not going to buy anything. Very well, and you can listen to my idea. Oh, my goodness. I was telling Mrs. P.D. we should spend our vacation on the houseboat. Well, that's fine, P.D. The little family and I had... What? The houseboat. That's my idea. I said it first. Yep. All right, P.D., when do you plan to use the houseboat? Well, Mrs. P.D. and I thought we'd cruise the last two weeks in August, after the mosquito season. Well, that won't interfere with my plans a bit. I'm going before then. Hmm, so is the judge. What? Oh, here he comes now. Good morning, judge. Ahoy, shipmates. Patten down the hatches. We're expecting a blow. A sea-going old goat. Horace, what's this about you using the houseboat for your vacations? Quite true, Gildy. I was just talking to the chief about it. The chief's in on this, too? Yes. He wants the boat the last two weeks in July. Oh? And I'm taking it the first two weeks. Well, that still leaves the last two weeks in June for me. Well, now I wouldn't say that. You wouldn't? Floyd's spoken for a damn, Gildy. Floyd? Now, wait a minute. Why didn't you, Jolly Boys, discuss this thing with me? I'm the president. Well, the president doesn't have to know everything. You failed to attend our last meeting, Mr. President. You preferred to go romancing with Miss Milford. Well... Besides, why take a busman's holiday? We never dreamed the water commissioner wanted to take his vacation on the water. All right, judge. Bye, George. I'll take this up at the next meeting Saturday night, and I'll be there. That's right, Leroy. You think we'll get to use the houseboat for our vacation, huh? Do you think we will? Don't worry, my boy. All I've got to do is convince him that the president should use the houseboat first. Who's ahead of you now, Uncle? Well, Floyd Munson, the barber. Yeah? Why don't you tell him to let you go first or you'll quit getting haircuts? I will, too, gladly. No, Leroy. You're not letting your hair grow long. Why not? I'll cover my ears. Don't tempt me. Yes, Bertie? You think we're going to get the sale on schedule? Well, that's why I called the meeting tonight, Bertie, to thresh this thing out. Yes, sir. I sure hope nobody throws a monkey wrench in the thrashing machine. Bertie ain't had a vacation since last year. Well, neither have I, Bertie. And I sure hope this comes through. Bertie wants to go sailing. Don't worry about a thing, Bertie. I'll handle everything. Yes, sir. I mean it. Remember, I'm the president. Well, I guess we in. We'd better be. Yes, sir. Bertie can't wait to walk the plank and get out in the kitchen gallery. That's galley, Bertie. Yes, sir. She can't wait to get out there and go cooking and sailing. That's how Bertie wants to spend her vacation just cooking and sailing. All right, Bertie. Look, you see, do you know how Bertie... Yes, Bertie. That's right, just cooking... Swing this deal. Everybody's cooking on it. I mean counting on it. It seems to be a little late. Yes. Where's our president? Well, we can sing until he comes, chief. But Floyd hasn't arrived either. We can't sing without a piano player, Phoebe. Let's sing a cappella. Now, don't believe I know that song, chief. That means without music, Phoebe. Well, there's not much music the way we sing. Now, Phoebe, is that nice? Well, how about something with a good bass? Many brave hearts are asleep in the jeep. Very good, chief. Very good. I'd prefer something on the romantic side. For instance, I dream of Jeannie with a light brown hair. It's John Dragon Nightmare. Phoebe? Oh, maybe that's a commissioner. Oh, it's Floyd. Hi, gang. Oh, Floyd. Floyd. Sit down at the piano. And don't rush me. I got a letter addressed to us jolly boys. A letter to us? Yep. Hey, let me get it here under the light. I'll read it, Floyd. I can read. Besides, it's my building. Go ahead. Well, who'd be writing to us? Hey, fellas, it's from the guy that used to own the houseboat. Oh. It says here he thinks it's only fair that we know a few things about the boat. What about the boat, Floyd? Hey, hey, get a load of this. The boat hasn't been corked for many years. How do you cork a boat? That's tearing the seams, Floyd. Oh, tub must leak, huh? What else does he say? Not much else, except the motor vibrates badly and has been known to shake loose and drop through the bottom of the boat. Floyd, you still want to go on it first? Uh-uh. Well, it appears that somebody will have to spend some money to repair the boat. Don't look at me. I've put up all the money that I can. Thinking back, it was our president who talked us into purchasing the boat. Yeah, he's always conning us into something. Well, that sounds like the commissioner now. Large members? Are we ready to take up this houseboat business? Speaking of houseboats, Commissioner, I just had a noble thought. You, Floyd? Yep. How would you like to take your vacation on the houseboat first? You mean it, Floyd? Yes, sir. I'm deferring to you, Commissioner. In other words, after you, Alfonso. Alfonso? Well, thank you, Floyd. Gildy, it seems the boat needs extensive repairs to be seaworthy. Yeah, it seems there's a leak here and there. Well, who knows more about how to cut off water than me, Floyd? As far as I'm concerned, the meeting's over, fellas. Floyd, this is the nicest thing you ever did for me. Well, I wouldn't say that. The Great Gildest Leave will return in just a moment. One of the best, if not the best thing about summer, is the wonderful variety of fruits and berries filling the markets. Golden peaches, juicy plums, tender pears, plump strawberries and delicious raspberries. All perfect for the beautiful, cool-looking salad you like to serve. And to be sure your salads taste as good as they look, you'll want to serve them with plenty of the one and only Miracle Whip Salad Dressing. Miracle Whip has a lively teasing flavor. Peppy, yet not a bit too sharp. It has a delightfully different taste you won't find in any other salad dressing. That's because Miracle Whip is a different kind of dressing that combines the best qualities of old-fashioned boil dressing and fine mayonnaise. And when it comes to texture, well, Miracle Whip's texture is smoother than you can imagine. And it's made that way by a special craft beater. Serve Miracle Whip with your cool and fresh mixed vegetable salads and your shimmering gelatin molds, as well as with your favorite fruit combinations. They'll all taste extra good topped with Miracle Whip. No wonder it's America's favorite salad dressing. Back to the Great Dildo Sleeves. After reading a letter from the former owner describing the houseboat's decrepit condition, the jolly boys decided to let the water commissioner have the doubtful honor of vacationing on it first. How'd you talk Mr. Munson out of his two weeks, Uncle? Oh, it wasn't hard to do, Leeroy. For some reason, he suddenly changed his mind. He seemed happy to let me go first. A fine friend. The jolly boys must really love you, Uncle. Yeah, and I love them. I've invited them all down to the boat tonight for a party. Are they gonna see us off? Well, they don't know we're leaving tonight, Leeroy. I told them the party was just to christen the boat. Yeah? What's so secret about us leaving? It's a great idea, Floyd, a chance to change his mind, Leeroy. Now, you get everything packed? Everything but my turtle. We're taking Elmer? Sure, he's up in the bathtub. The bathtub? Yeah, I've been getting him used to the water. We don't want him to get sick on us. Who ever heard of a seasick turtle, Leeroy? Well, Elmer's been with me so long, he's almost human. A little of him is beginning to rub off on you, Leeroy. Now, will you forget Elmer for a minute? Let's see if we can help Bertie with the provisions. Oh, Bertie's loaded. She's even baked a ham. Oh, hello, Bertie. How's everything going? Food's all taken care of, Mr. Gilsie. Bertie's all ready to go cooking and sailing. Good. See where you're going? Mr. Gilsie, what about that boat? The boat? What about it? Well, Judge Hooker called and said to tell you to be sure and check it. Is that boat okay? Well, the roof leaks a little, but I don't think it'll rain. Bertie, don't mind the roof leaking. Well, she wants to know does the floor leak. Well, Bertie, you let me do the worrying, huh? Yes, sir. Leeroy, you get out that ham! Oh, please! Yes, Leeroy. Bronco and I are all packed. I guess we're all set then. Marjorie, you and Bronco take all the gear down to the boat and stow it away. So early? Well, we want to get it out of sight before the jolly boys arrive. Yeah, they don't know we're sneaking away tonight. Leeroy, you get out that ham! See you down at the boat, kitties. Where are you going, honey? Well, I don't want to go off on a vacation without saying goodbye to Miss Milford. Thought I'd run down to the hospital. Of course. You have to kiss your little nurse goodbye. I have no such idea. I'll just shake her hand. Oh, yeah? Leeroy, get out of that ham! Catherine would be working. I'd much rather say goodbye to her at home than in a hospital. Not much privacy here. In case she does want to kiss me goodbye. Of course, I won't pursue the idea. I wonder what those bells mean. Probably some doctor getting four bells for a fine operation. Is that Catherine coming down the corridor? Nurses all look alike in those uniforms. Yeah, it's Catherine. I recognize that walk. It's Rockmorton. Hello, Catherine. I didn't expect to see you here. You know me, always doing the unexpected. I'm quite busy, Rockmorton. Was there something you wanted? Well, I... Well, I'd stop by and see you. I decided to slip away on our vacation tonight. Oh, that's wonderful. Where are you going? Down the river. Down the river? On a boat. Houseboat. Taking the whole family. Oh, that's nice. Have a lovely trip, Rockmorton. Okay, but wait a minute, Catherine. I may be gone for a couple of weeks. Won't see you. Well, I know you'll have a grand time. If I'd known you were leaving, Rockmorton, I would have bought you a gift of some kind. That's not what I mean. I'm terribly sorry, Rockmorton. I'm awfully busy. Yeah, but... I have a patient in this room waiting for me. I, Rockmorton, have a nice trip. But, Catherine! What a way to say goodbye. Can't leave her this way and spoil my whole trip. All right, George, I'll stand here until she comes out. The party can wait. Rockmorton. Hello, Catherine. I thought you'd gone. Well, I remembered something I wanted to tell you. I didn't want to leave without telling you. What is it, Rockmorton? Yeah, let's see. Very important, too. And what it was, Catherine, since I'm going to be gone and leaving and all, I thought that you might want to... Excuse me, Rockmorton. I have to get some ice water. Ice water at a time like this. Well, I won't leave. I'll catch her coming back. The Jolly Boys get down to the pier before I do. They can start the party without me. They're only coming down to eat anyway. Yeah, here comes Catherine back again. A picture of ice. I'll melt that, brother. Hey, Catherine. Rockmorton, I thought you'd gone. Catherine. I'm not here, it's Rockmorton. There's nobody in the corridor. Well... That's for me. I have to report to surgery. So that's what they mean. Dying those bells. Nothing to do but get down to the dock and the Jolly Boys in a ten-pound ham. The Jolly Boys certainly gobbled up Bertie's refreshments. If we don't start soon, we'll have to bring some more up off the boat. Mr. Giller-Slave. Yes, Bronco? Everything's stored away. We're ready to shove off anytime you say. Not so loud, Bronco. I don't want the Jolly Boys to know we're going to sail tonight. What's that, Gilly? Nothing, John. I'm just wondering if it's going to hail tonight. It's a fine party, Commissioner. Well, thank you, Chief Gates. Careful, Pee-Pee. Don't fall off the pier. When do we Christian the boat? Yes, I brought along a bottle for that purpose. A magnum of K-lack water, Judge? I wouldn't hit it with that big bottle. You might change your boat. Seriously, Gilly, before you definitely decide the vacation on the boat, you should check its condition. Oh, sure, Judge. It's getting chilly here on the pier, fellas. Let's go aboard and we'll sing a song. Not me. What's this, Floyd? I sing better on dry land. Yes, why don't we sing here on the dock? I've got holes in my shoes. Oh, yeah. Policemen. Leeroy! Yeah? Toss me my ukulele from the boat, huh? I'll catch it. Nearly fell on the water. What a big commission. Well, how about Moonlight Bay? We're all vacationing on the water this summer. Please, Pee-Pee. Here we go. Okay, you take the solo, Commissioner. Okay. We were sailing off. We could hear the voices ring too soon. I didn't expect to see you out here. Well, I felt badly about not getting to say goodbye at the hospital this afternoon. Well, so did I. Well, voyage, Trockmorton. Thank you. Well, voyage. Gildy isn't going anywhere. Well, he's leaving on his vacation tonight. Catherine. Oh, did I say something I shouldn't have? Hey, what's this about sailing tonight, Commissioner? Well, the cat's out of the bag. You may as well know, fellas, we're leaving tonight. But Gildy, the boat isn't safe. That's right. I wouldn't risk it, Commissioner. Trockmorton, is it really dangerous? No, it's safe. Safe as a sieve. Yep. He should not be allowed to go, Miss Milford. Really? Trockmorton, I don't want you to go if it's dangerous. Well, what's a little danger to a man like me? Bronco, get ready to start the motor. Aye-aye, sir. Well, what if the boat sinks, Miss Gildy, please? Yes. Have you thought of the family? Certainly. Everybody can swim except me. Oh. Trockmorton. Hoist the anchor, Leroy. Okay. Wait a minute, Trockmorton. Aren't you going to kiss me goodbye? Drop the anchor, Leroy. Don't be pool-hardy, Gildy. Don't bother me, judge. I'm busy. Goodbye, Catherine. Goodbye. Bronco, more to the start. I mean start the motor. Aye-aye, sir. I better get a board. Goodbye, everybody. Goodbye. Good night, sir. I want to go. Wow, gee. Please, Gildy. It's dangerous. The boat needs repair. Yeah, that's why I let you go first, Commiss. Look at this letter from the owner. Letter, Floyd? Yeah, it says the motor may drop to the bottom. Well, don't worry about the letter, Floyd. I wrote it. You wrote it. The Great Gilder Sleeve has something else to tell you in just a moment. If potato salad takes over as the most popular summer food at your house, remember these three steps when you make it. First, have all your ingredients the same temperature. Second, be sure you mix those ingredients lightly. And third, add only enough salad dressing to flavor it. Of course, for extra delicious potato salad, you'll want to be sure your salad dressing is miracle whipped. Peppy, yet not a bit too sharp, miracle whip has a just right flavor millions of folks everywhere prefer. So for sure success, make your potato salad with the most popular salad dressing ever created. Miracle whip made by Kraft. Yes, sir, we're starting on our summer vacation, folks. If this darn houseboat will stop rocking, I'd like to take just a minute to thank all the people who are behind the scenes year after year to bring the Great Gilder Sleeve program to you. First of all, there's our little family. Walter Tetley is Leroy, Mary Lee Robb is Marjorie, and Lillian Randolph is Bertie. Marjorie's new husband, Bronco, is played by Dick Crenna, and my little old girlfriend, Katherine Milford, is Ms. Kathy Lewis. Earl Ross has been with us as Judge Hooker ever since the program began, and Richard Legrand created the character of Mr. P.V. years and years ago. The other jolly boys are Arthur Q. Bryan as Floyd and Ken Christie as Chief Gates. Bessie, my secretary at the Water Department, is Ms. Gloria Holliday. During this year, we introduce you to Bronco's parents. They weren't on the program tonight, but when they are with us, Mr. and Mrs. Thompson are played by Joe Kearns and Jeanette Nolan. Our announcers are Jay Stewart and Jim Doyle. Our fine writing staff this year has been made up of Paul West, John Elliott and Andy White. The musical bridges and backgrounds are composed and conducted by Jack Meakin. The sound effects as usual have been created by Monty Frazier and Ray Ferguson is our engineer. The show is directed by Fran Van Hardisfelt and Max Hutto for NBC. And the sponsor, of course, is the Kraft Foods Company. We'd like to thank all of these people for their contributions, and we'd like to thank all of you for listening and for writing to us now and then. We hope to see all of you again in September. Please watch your newspaper for details. Thank you again for a nice season. This is Harold Perry saying, good night. With the conclusion of tonight's program, the great Jewish Leeds are starting a summer vacation and a well-deserved one, too. Starting next Wednesday night, June 21st at the same time and on the same network, Kraft will bring you the intriguing and popular mystery show, The Falcon, starring Michael Waring as the daring freelance detective heard previously on Sunday evenings over another network. Plan to be with us next Wednesday night. Follow the thrilling adventures of The Falcon in his skillful fight against crime. Here's a taste test that counts. Try any meat without mustard. Then add a golden dab of Kraft prepared mustard to your next bite. Taste the difference. There are two kinds of Kraft mustard, you know, salad mustard delicately spiced for those who like their mustard mild, or Kraft prepared mustard with snappy horseradish added. Have both on hand. Remember this, when you add a little mustard, you add a lot of tang. Get Kraft prepared mustard. The proceeding was transcribed. Now join the excitement of...