 The reason why the narcissist doesn't see a future with you. The narcissist will often pretend as though they see a future with you. They may even tell you that one day you're going to get married and have children together. But that's only because they know that's what you want. That's only because they know that will keep you around. It doesn't mean they're about that for real. They're just saying it because they know it's what you want to hear. If you pay close attention to the narcissist, you can tell that they're not really serious about being with you. Maybe they don't want to own a cat or dog with you. Maybe they don't want to move in with you because they're not sure if you'll still be together in a few months. When you do talk about developing a relationship, the narcissist will only talk about it hypothetically. Nothing ever actualizes. Years can go by and you're still in the same place doing the same thing. Because they're not really serious about you, they avoid meeting your family. They never call you their boyfriend or girlfriend. They never invite you out with their friends. You rarely go out in public together. You don't spend birthdays or special occasions together. They avoid any serious conversations because they're just not serious about you. They don't really see a future with you. They will tell you whatever they think you want to hear just to keep you around. But they never take any action to make it a reality. Deep down, they already know it's inevitable that it's going to end. They already know that they cannot be committed to you. Narcissists need narcissistic supply. They cannot live without it. They need constant attention and aberration. When they first met you, you were a potent source of supply. Your supply had great power, influence and effect on them. Which is why they were willing to do whatever you want. They may have told you that they wanted to marry you and have children with you. Because at this time, your supply was very potent. It made them feel alive. It made them feel desirable and attractive. But the longer they spend with their source, the more that supply begins to lose its effect. It no longer feels the same way as it once did. Now the narcissist is no longer as interested in your attention. They no longer feel attractive around you, regardless of how much you cobble on them, regardless of how much you have sex. It just doesn't do it for them anymore. Because they've learned you now. They're used to you. They're bored of that toy. And now they want something new. Many people confuse this as the narcissist being infatuated with someone else. But really, they can't even experience emotional attachment. Which is why it was so easy for them to leave you. The narcissist isn't really interested in another source. They're chasing that rush of adrenaline. That feeling of excitement. Which they can only get from seeking another source. But they never see any of us as real people. They only see us as objects. Which they can then use to generate the feelings that they want to feel. And that is why the narcissist couldn't see a future with you. Because in their minds you were just a toy. You were just something temporary. They knew that at some point they were going to get bored of you. And their false self needs supply. It needs constant attention and admiration. More than what one person is capable of giving. So you could never be enough for them. You would never have been able to satisfy the narcissist over a long period of time. It was inevitable that they were going to get bored and move on to someone else. They have these insatiable needs. They can never be satisfied. Nothing will ever be enough for them. They will always be lucky for something better. And there will always be something better. Because they're never happy with what they got. Because even when they find everything that they were looking for. It's only a matter of time until it loses its potency. Until it no longer has the same effect. Narcissists get bored very easily. When they get bored. They have to find a new toy. They have to find something else to make them feel good. They need constant entertainment. Because inside of them is a void that can never be filled. So they're always pursuing something. No matter what they currently have. It's never enough for them. And that is why they didn't see a future with you. They will try to morph into whatever they think you want to see. To try to keep you around. And they will try to assimilate into societies or cultures. By seemingly participating in whatever is deemed to be appropriate. Whatever is considered to be desired or expected. But they're not really about any of that. They may have no interest in marriage or having children. But they will pretend that they do. And some of them will even go that far. Just to portray an image to the world. But deep down they know that's not who they really are. Deep down they know they're never going to have a future with anyone. Because they get bored very easily. And they need constant attention. But whoever they're with. It's only a matter of time until their supply loses its potency. Every supply has an expiry date. When you're with a narcissist, the clock is constantly ticking. And once your time runs out. It's over. Something else catches their eye. And they're on to the next one. First they want to be admired by you. But then they want to be admired by anyone but you. Because your supply loses its potency. They no longer care what you think of them. You become dull. Boring. Because they're used to you. They've learned you now. It's inevitable that this will only repeat itself. With everyone the narcissist meets. Every supply has an expiry date. The narcissist gets bored very easily. No one person or thing can keep them entertained over a long period of time. It would be like eating pasta for lunch every day. It might taste delicious. But at some point you're going to get sick of it. At some point you're going to want to try something else. And it's the same thing with a narcissist. After they've tried you enough times. It's inevitable that they're going to want to try something else. Because they get bored easily. They have this insatiable need for constant attention and admiration. Which one person could never fulfill. And that is why they could never see a future with you. Narcissists also assume that people think in the same way that they do. They think that if they could get bored of you so easily. Then you could get bored of them. That's why they're so paranoid and hyper-vigilant. They assume that it's only a matter of time. Until you get bored and start looking for someone else. Because that's exactly how they feel. So even though they may not be bored of you just yet. They will still start seeking other sources or supply. They begin to see you as a lost cause. They begin to see it as though. Even if they were capable of giving you their devotion. Even if they were capable of giving you all their love, loyalty and enthusiasm. It would only be a matter of time. Until you go running off to someone else. And that's why they hold back. That's why they always had one foot in, one foot out. Because they never really know where to stand. They never really know what's going to happen. They just know that they don't want to be the one to get the short end of the stick. They don't want to be left in that humiliating position. Of you leaving them for someone else. So it's often just their idea of getting you before you get them. Because they believe that it's only a matter of time until you get bored. And start looking for someone else. They're anticipating this to happen. And their fragile egos cannot stand the thought of it. Connect this with the fact that narcissists get bored very easily. And it should be no surprise that the narcissist doesn't see a future with you. They don't even see a future with themselves. They don't even know who they are. They never took the time to get to know themselves. They were too busy getting to know what they thought everyone wanted them to be. Because all that really matters to them is their supply. Getting attention and admiration. Even at the expense of love and connection. Their main objective is to feed the false self. Even if they lose everyone around them in the process. And while it may look like they've moved on to someone else. No one ever had the narcissist. You never had the narcissist. It was just your turn. There's no future with the narcissist. Because they know that no one would want a future with them. But they will stick around as long as you're willing to play pretend. But as soon as your actions begin to reflect back to them. And they really feel about themselves. They will drop you like a hot potato. Because they don't want to deal with reality. They don't want to deal with anything serious. That would involve them looking at themselves. Making changes or improvements. Something that no narcissist is going to do. The only thing they'll work on is their false self. Because all they want is attention. All they want is to feel like they exist. And there is no existence in the future. We are only existing right now. Thank you for watching. I hope this video is a bit of a review. Please like, comment, share and subscribe. Click the bell icon to receive notifications for my future videos. Check out the new Narc Survivor website at www.narcsurvivor.co.uk Where you can read my blog posts, blog coaching sessions and join our support forum. If you're allowed to donate, my PayPal link is in the video description. Coaching in Quarries with Lee Millmeade at coaching.narcsurvivor.co.uk Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon.