 Hello and welcome to harsh critique. My name is Jeremiah Sumerian and we're going to talk today about a Draft that was submitted by someone whose name is We're gonna pronounce that Analymes Another way it could be pronounced, but we're not going to do that The draft was submitted. I believe on the second to last episode of harsh critique as a potential Draft to look over and I have briefly looked at it. It's not a particularly long draft I briefly looked at it and it looks like it's appropriate. So let's get started Special containment procedures SCP XXX is to be kept in a four by four by four vacuum chamber Well, okay, this is where we get started on the problems so four by four by four is Dumb already because if it's not in a four by four by four Room if it's in a four by or three by three by three room or a five by five by five room are either of those things going to negatively affect the Containment of this object or can it just be stuck in a room appropriate for its size? I mean That's dumb on an end of itself, but for that beyond that four by four by four what? meters centimeters ah In a vacuum chamber, which is great, I guess the Temperature inside the room has to be kept above 4,000 degrees Celsius, so We're gonna talk about that I guess first of all, it's a vacuum chamber I assume you mean it should be kept in a vacuum and if it's kept in a vacuum There's nothing to transfer heat to the object So there is Individual particles of air that managed to make it into your vacuum chamber because no vacuum chamber is perfect Could be you know 4,000 degrees Celsius, but what's that going to do for you if none of them are impacting your object? boy So yeah, like you're not you're keeping your object in a vacuum So the temperature is unimportant Whatever and it has to be levitated in the center of the room using electromagnets neat, I guess Plans of launching it into space have been proposed although Like you don't include that in your special containment procedures like that's not a thing that you're not that's not a Containment procedure. That's just hey by the way, we're thinking about throwing it into space Just thought thought you should know that early on Description SCVX is a metallic ball one meter in diameter all attempts to damage the object to failed cool Oh, the ball is extremely cold didn't mean that be that pun, but there we go. The ball is extremely cold approximately negative two hundred and five degrees Celsius, so I Just want you to understand your own sentence structure here You said the ball instead of SCP xxxx which is or you know the anomaly or the object any any other word But no the ball is extremely cold Okay, let us take approximately negative two hundred and five degrees Celsius and turn it into what it really means Extremely cold so what this sentence actually says is the ball is extremely cold being extremely cold You understand the problem with your redundancy there You don't need to say extremely cold and then say it's approximately negative two hundred and five degrees Celsius because if you say the ball the temperature of the ball The ball I'm gonna say ball a whole bunch. I guess If you said the temperature of the ball is negative two hundred and five degrees Celsius Then we know it's extremely cold because we all have brains and understand what negative two hundred five degrees Celsius means SCP xxx continuously secretes a Clear liquid this liquid is the same but temperature as the object and any surface touched by the liquid will freeze Instantly, what does it mean by freeze here? You know we're dealing with an object that's being described in scientific terms, so like metal is frozen The surface is frozen. Do you mean cold? Permanently, I mean Metal can be frozen all the way up to what I mean There are plenty of materials that can be frozen all the way up to extremely high temperatures, so what's the difference? What's I'll tell you right now having a material that cannot be melted would have some astonishing Effects on industry I would imagine there there are so many incredible uses for such a not for such a thing Which I guess would explain how you're able to keep the object in a room that supposedly 4,000 degrees Celsius Let's assume the vacuum chamber thing is just outside the realm of possibility What you could do is actually expose the material of the containment chamber to this liquid Freeze it and then it doesn't matter that you put the room at 4,000 degrees up But then does it still take damage? I don't understand what it means It's a little bit of problems with your logical flow here It's like if I take a piece of steel which is already frozen and I touch it to this liquid It's going to stay frozen and solid all the way up to was it like three that look but okay It's frozen and no amount of heat can melt it, but you don't have to melt things to shape them So is this steel still shapeable? Can you heat it up to like? 2,000 degrees Celsius and It's not gonna be melted. I think by that point might be depending on the steel I think it might but say you heat it up to an extremely high temperature Well, it's not melted, but it can still be hammered into shape It can still it loses most of its tensile strength even though it's not a liquid yet so What's the It just can't change. It's like a solid piece for forever and always because as I said if that is true Then there are some serious applications for this Object that I think this would revolutionize material Science if the liquid is exposed temperatures above 3,000 degrees Celsius It will become normal water vapor if the temperature is above I think you mean if the object is exposed to temperatures above 3,000 degrees Celsius then the ball will not secrete any liquid Also isn't secret hold on I'm gonna look this up. I could swear that secret is something that only Living creatures do but I could be wrong Yes, it is of a salad gland or an organ producer discharge. Yeah, so I knew that Fucking knew it. It should have said at the beginning Cursed I should have cursed I just don't understand it. Yeah, so secret's definitely not the word you want to use here Let's just throw that out there. I mean emits maybe some sort of discharge I don't know, but secrete is always an organic like a creature secretes things not an object If SCP xxx comes into contact with any matter it instantly freezes the surface the surface But you said any matter so not everything has a surface Some things are just a cloud the frozen object will then slowly freeze everything it touches. No everything touching it including air The chain reaction does not seem to have a limit and it could lead to an xk-class scenario I love it when someone outlines something that is extremely Dangerous and worrisome and then bit and then goes by the way in case you didn't know an xk-class Scenario could result from this like thanks a lot man. I'm glad you pointed that out to me Never would have figured it out on my own matter frozen this way can however be unfrozen if it is exposed to temperatures above 13,000 degrees Celsius that is Astonishingly hot when you say like Wow 14,000 degrees Celsius can turn a lot of things into like you you're you're going beyond melting at that point The physics of this makes no sense to me because like I feel like the author doesn't understand how temperatures or transitions of states work And then like wrote an object based around transition of states pick something you know about first if you're gonna At least it's short. This didn't waste too much time. Oh, oh, of course we have to do a discovery out Yeah, as the the object was found after foundation members foundation members of the foundation Oh, are you a member of the foundation? I am a member of the foundation I've got my card right here to investigate an anomalous Meteor was anomalous about it when they just was it just a meteor what with the foundation involved? This love I'll let you know that that rock that fell down yesterday. Yeah, it seems a little weird to me Why I don't know yet. Let's investigate when they got to the left your clinical tone in this bad Just leave that at that when they got to the landing site the object had frozen the ground around it The soil was dug Dug up and taken back for testing. Why? Also, here's the thing So you have you didn't need to include this part But obviously because your article is so short you felt like you needed to make it longer Which is a terrible instinct to follow by the way Like if your article doesn't work, don't add to it fix what you already have first Whatever, but so you add this Discover essentially a discovery log. You don't label it as such But that's what it is telling us how the foundation came across this thing and you give us like tiny amounts of details when you could have given us Way more like if you're gonna tell this story tell that story. What happened and you know what the worst part about it is It's boring even though there's a good story in here somewhere like it's It's just not explored like imagine for a second you're laying in your bed at night You're just taking a nap and you hear a Outside and you don't know what it is but you get up and Your next-door neighbors get up and the lights go on at every house around the block and people come outside and You look in the middle of the street. There's this big metal ball And then you notice that your next-door neighbor has already gotten there and they touched it And they're frozen solid next to it There's this wave of frost slowly spreading out from the ball Constantly and then it happens to just like get to the point where there's somebody else standing and then they freeze Completely solid and they fall over and break in two and like it's coming your way You think you can get in your car in time. Do you think you can leave? Can you get away in time? Does it matter how fast is this going to go? And then you hear the air around you sucking in towards this ball as the Actual air around it is frozen and just sinks to the ground like a Snow, I mean that's a story right just Take it from there Heck, that's even a horror story if you work it, right? It's a short story Maybe a even a flash fiction story, but it's a story But this doesn't do that. This just tells you about a fucking metal ball. Anyway, that's it. I'm actually done now You know bothers me the most I'm not done You know bothers me the most about this kind of thing is that people have good ideas and they have good stories and they Find excuses not to tell them and that bothers me more than anything Just fucking tell your story goddamn it Just tell your story. Don't don't do this. Don't oh my god The scp format is supposed to refine things. Yes It is a little slightly harder than just writing it as a tale and by the way just writing a story is perfectly fine There's nothing wrong with that, but if you want to write it as an scp Article, it's it is harder, but your resultant work should come out better for it because you have to constrain it to these parameters and you'll find often times when you constrain a big idea to small parameters that The best parts of it come through But that's not what happened here the best parts of it were left on the fucking cutting room floor and all we got was the metallic ball and It secretes a liquid That's it and a bunch of temperature stuff that makes no sense because the physics of it doesn't make any sense And it's like it's anomalous, so the physics doesn't make any sense But it still pretends like the physics makes some sense. I just I don't know whatever If you liked the video, I'm really done. If you liked the video Scroll down hit the subscribe button Hit the notification bell next to that so you can be notified when I make a new video and Definitely head over to patreon.com Ford slash D Samaritan and pledge at any level like the people on the screen here already have Thank you for letting me know I'm not alone out here, and I will see you again on Tuesday