 I love the premise of the show Smart people talking about dumb shit. I think it's dumb people talking about smart shit Oh, we go where we not supposed to go baby Yep, Charlamagne the guy Andrew show we are the brilliant idiots podcast Back for another week of brilliant idiotness and we got a special guest in the building man He likes to refer to himself. It's black famous. Um, I just think he does his thing Gary Owen comedy is here and black famous. I think you're famous famous guy famous I'm black famous. So like you like every black person knows Gary on not well. They know my face. I don't know my name. Yeah It's funny though because most black comics want to be white famous Gary embraces being black famous my thing is Find an audience If you're lucky enough as a comedian to find your audience Yeah, find it I could be wrong, but I feel like when you have a black audience It feels like you're more broader than just having a specific white audience The reason I say that it's a black people blackness is so ingrained in culture If you're in the culture, you know this person if he's part of the culture. It's mad white people that are super famous I have no idea who they are. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you know what I mean? So maybe that's it. So maybe it's like the people who are famous to black people are more Mainstream fame. Are you trying to say black culture is mainstream? It is so why didn't that way so white famous is being niche I think what I think so and I think it's kind of like corny in a way Like because black black. Yeah Because when you part of black culture like hip-hop blackness that's pop culture That's been the most popular culture for the past at least 25 years, right easy easy I was shocked that I saw you went to Italy and I was I was DM-ing them because I went to Italy probably three weeks Before he did right that's funny thing happened. So we get the Amalfi Coast and these four guys from Ireland Go, are you Gary Owen? That's shut up like I had never been overseas really. I was like shut up So I got a picture and they said okay. Here's what's funny about this picture one guy's name was Gary The other guy's name was Owen Whatever your name was Owen, whatever Wow. I was like, I didn't know you guys to me in Ireland. Wow Gary is a how dope is Italy? Oh my gosh. It was good. The Amalfi Coast. Yes, great And I went with the right friend cuz my buddies who should go there with uh Aren't you divorced? Yeah. Yeah, okay with that group. Gary got true. Gary got Gary got trolled soon as he sat down Like what's the Wi-Fi password she was like black wise matter black With a group of friends we were the group and I went the right group a couple guys that already been Yeah, they knew how to navigate. Yeah, so they're the ones that they reserve They reserve the yacht the day they got to get a yacht and they knew exactly what little restaurants And it's all about the day day clubs are different in Italy than they are in the United States It's really you eat and I hang out. Yeah It's anything and they was great man Cuz like you'll be sitting there and all of a sudden like these group of people will just start singing Yeah And dancing the song will come on the guy will come over like if you ordered like Dom Perignon The guy would come over and like open it and he'd spray in everybody's mouth and he never missed Yeah, you know dance this stuff. I got all they get it over here. They completely get life over here Yeah, spending the mafia. I like the maficos better. I went to Florence Rome and Mafia coast. Yeah fly like Florence better Rome You're like Florence better than Rome. Really why Rome is just big. Yeah, we just big Florence felt like This is an Italian city. Yeah, almost had to walk everywhere. It's like when you were over there and Watch you guys drunk and everything since I just left. I was trying to figure out Do I know where they're at? Yeah, you try to figure it out like I think I know where to rat Yeah, I think it's cool. I just Rome is like you're looking at like thousands of years of history I like does it feel like you fell Does Rome feel like no and I and that's the thing is like countries like rappers like they're the last ones who know They fell off like we we could we America could have fallen off But we don't we will never know it. Yeah, you know, I mean so so it's like I mean if you're in Rome You're walking around you're seeing these like structures that were built thousands of years ago Oh, wow, I'm in the greatest city that's ever existed. There's not even a question and if you grow up in that you're probably gone Well, yeah, this is the greatest city that's ever existed. Like you're doing a movie roll, right? I'm like No, this is a happily married glow Like the way you walk in with the shades and everything No, bro, it just takes me so long to grow a mustache Yeah, I'm gonna burn a man next week and I was like, oh, let me get funky a little bit They bring a burning man back. Yeah, it's the first year in a while in a while. Wow Gary we need to get to the burning. Yeah, you guys missed that whole back and forth. What he said cheating I went I Just did breakfast club. I don't talk about she and Gary doing it Gary said a lot on breakfast club. I don't know what he wants to say. This comes out after breakfast club though Comes out after it it weird when I did your guys podcast first time three years ago. He was married. He was a single one. Yeah, I was That's your future Well, did she take I know she took her ACL, but what else does she take in the It's not over. Oh really still not over. Oh no, so you don't want to talk about anything now We I mean we can talk a little bit, but it's like we got mediation In next week and that's gonna be a couple times and if that don't work we go to trial in October. Oh god Why do you need to go to trial? Yeah? I hope not. It's it's a lot of stuff like I can't say it's what's over Yeah, but you shouldn't even talk about it right now because this could be used against you in court, right? That's what I'm afraid of with the breakfast club. I didn't say anything bad. You did it. You didn't I was very You can you can say the truth. Yeah, which is which is what? The truth was I said it on his eye left This week the narrative is that she left me because I got caught out there. Oh, no, I filed first I wanted the divorce. I wanted That was what that's what happened. I think it's an important conversation because you and I told Gareth is you never hear men say That they are they were emotionally disconnected. That's something that's always seems like it's reserved for women They're like I was emotionally disconnected. That's why I ended up, you know going out there to cheat because you know I wasn't getting what I needed at home emotionally. I've never heard that from a man before Personally, I think that's a great conversation Well, and it's also what I said is we always when a divorce happens We always go where the guy do we always amiga what the guy do we never say what the woman do also and like You know, what is always there's always two things that happen to a bad marriage isn't one person and marital bliss Yeah, and the other person's miserable. Yeah. Yeah, so it's like when I called her and said I wanted to divorce I was like I was literally like look I want you to be happy But I'm not the guy that can make you happy at this point. Yeah, I can't I just can't I was like It's when little things that shouldn't bother you bother you I've heard a lot of the comedians talk about it on stage, but I was like, oh my god. It's happening to me What was your little thing? Like what okay, for example, she can't get mad at this because it's me. It's she did nothing wrong Yeah, she took a bite some food one time and she goes. Mmm. Ah good and I was like the fuck's so good about it What I look I'm at the table going this Ah good What is he doing again? I go I'm out. Fuck this to me by myself You just mad because she was happy about her meal just her going. Mmm. Ah good bother me She did nothing wrong. That's how she felt when you probably bit into a glissie and it was like, oh good. What's a glissie? What's a glissie? I don't know the glissie is glissie is a hot dog But it's like a big joint like when it's hanging out the bun So it's like the on gluten free. Yeah the meat is hanging out the bun and you bite into it and you enjoy it He has a man. He like oh Maybe Maybe You know what I mean? You got to get your emotional connection somewhere, right? I didn't think I thank you for doing the show last week too, man Gary did a hell of a week last week and um had him in between flame and roe and our guy, uh, Chio say legendary son of uh combat jack. Oh, you know How was it? I didn't know the other dude was gated. We started talking. Oh So I was like I knew flame obviously and then the guy that went oh, and I wouldn't know if he wanted us to know So you were the glissie I was the dog in between the buns. Yeah. Yeah Yo, I'm looking around going what uh, okay Gary was like, I feel like this is a setup. Yeah, I did. I feel like I was in a little Nas X video You were just around two humans, man They're both good people. Yeah But we don't talk about emotional disconnections enough. Yo, that's the biggest thing in any relationship. Oh, yeah You're not emotionally connected to a person I mean, I can't yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're a mere obelisk right now Like you're like, it's not this but like what I told him is like marriage is hard Would is it? Yeah If you want to do it, right This is who I knew I told show me when I knew it was over was when the thought Of her being with somebody else didn't bother me In the least That's when I knew I go. Oh, this is this ain't good at all Interesting, you know, because I would think of a woman that you love and you're married and you know what you're going through Yeah, the thought or her going to somebody else if it don't hurt It's like this It didn't it wouldn't hurt ego right there. Don't you think what like the idea that like she would Cheat on you. I guess it's like heartbreak your family's over I don't know like what was always more painful for me was kind of what you're describing like And I thank god I haven't felt that in this relationship And that's what I love about this relationship that I'm in right now But like in past relationship like if I was emotionally distant or whatever you said like if I if I felt like there wasn't something there Every second that we were together felt excruciatingly painful. Yeah, so it was every second was that good Ah or whatever like that's Rob is that yeah And that I don't know how people put up with that but my talents for that is like nothing And I think that's when I knew like the when I was dating who was my now wife I was like, oh, this is gonna be the woman. I'm gonna marry because I love spending time with her and there was never that feeling of like Where'd you guys meet? uh DMs No way. Yeah, I didn't know that instagram. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. You jumped in a dm. She jumped in the dm Wow, was she saying you funny? I don't know what she said to be honest with you. No, no. Yeah. Yeah, she was like, yeah How many years ago this is I don't know years years. How do you distinguish who to respond back to on some like How they look in the pictures But I'm gonna come up. I just look at their pictures And then I'm like, oh, are they really hot? And then if they're really hot, that's true. We always try to like die sexual Yeah, what did you think I was gonna do? I don't know Which ended up marrying her that's different Well, yeah, then she had a dope personality and then we connected and everything worked out. It was beautiful But initially it's just you know, you're gonna look and see I like that Yeah, I always try to overthink things we do just like when you say why you like black woman I'm like this my dick. It's hard. Yeah, that's pretty much Yeah, it's not just a fetish for you though. You married a black woman. I like I like everything about like the culture Yeah, I like everything about that goes with it. Yeah, you know what I mean, and I do I like I have to do you It's like it's like being gay gay guys. No, they're gay. Why they don't know So you're a black guy. You're a black woman gay. I'm not. Yeah, I'm a black woman gay. I am Missy Elliott No, man, it's very um, I don't know man, it's interesting I don't ever want to be in that situation Because you made me think when you said, uh, you don't love a person When the thought of them being with somebody else Doesn't bother you at all. So what about swingers? That's the thing like that's why I'm saying I think some of that is ego and then some of that is or maybe that's just how you present your relationships But like they're these swinger people that That bond is there. They love each other so much and they're not attached to there. I guess the sexual side I could never do that. I can't do it. I'm way too insecure for that. And what about the guys? I don't even like when my girl laugh at other motherfuckers You know what I mean? Some motherfuckers are funny gay guys. Sure He's firing his openers I sit down in the green room with me I need you chocolate at these motherfuckers. So what about guys who like to see they when we get fuckbots guys cuckolds I'm not in that world I'm not in that world at all Will you enjoy watching another dude blow your girls back out basically? Yeah. No, I'm not in that world So I guess it's about your preference. I guess so what you think those those guys have some like trauma That they're probably dealing with and you know, they already don't got enough dick So being that they don't have enough dick. They don't mind bringing in somebody else to provide what they don't have Yeah, I think that I think that my wife isn't good. Yeah, my wife doesn't need that You know what I mean? Does your wife like even if your wife was like, I wish you had a little more dick You'd be like, no, you don't nigga. Please don't ever I said nigga. I call you Please don't ever women. Please don't ever tell your man or shit like that All right I wish you had a little bit more dick. Can't you think it's awful? I'm getting the voice, bro. Yeah, that's true I don't want to hear that shit. That's nothing. I could never That's exactly what she's gonna say now I told you that's coming I thought my dick was shrinking. Did I tell you this? No, I went to the doctor last week What happened? I thought my dick was getting small talk to me The floor is yours. The floor is yours. No, I'm serious. What happened? I didn't tell you this I'm gonna get ultrasound on my balls tomorrow I thought my dick was getting small. Why? Because I don't know it was like sitting on my balls different and my and then I written then I was like Oh, maybe my balls are getting bigger. So I went to the doctor balls probably getting bigger with age Yeah, or or with kids or some shit. So I'm like freaking out And I have a lot of like veins on one of my left testicles that I got checked out a while back Whatever Anyway, I go and I'm like and I'm asking I'm like, you know, he's checking the balls or whatever like that My doctor's gay right away. And uh, so gay dude just broke it up the balls. Like you got nice balls I'm just say something don't be neutral So I get the ball checking I'm like, you know for a cancer or whatever But then I asked him what I really want. I was like, I was like, yo, can I ask you a question? He's like, he's like, yeah, this is what you do here. And I'm like, yo, can you take it a little? and uh, and I'm he's like, he's like, no and um I go he goes. Why do you think that I don't know like I just my dick and he goes he goes Can I be honest with you? He goes? Yeah, he goes since the last time you were here Uh You've gained 20 pounds, which was three years ago So he goes You're just getting fatter so you can see less of your dick. That's what we talked about last week We did we talk about this last week? We were talking about how big if you seven foot three 320 You might have an average size penis But it doesn't look like that on your frame So I'm looking into the mirror sucking in to see if my dick looked like no look for real I'm beyond what you I'm having the opposite problem. Wait, really digs getting big. Yeah, but it's because I'm losing That's a problem. No, I love it. Yeah, my wife loves it She's actually said that she said the opposite of what you said five years ago She was like, I think your dick's getting longer. So it's like the confidence is like, yeah But in that fucked up you get fat in every part of your body, but your dick I think it's fucked up that we can't have any surgery on I think about that. Yeah, we can And ain't worth it. You can chop it off, dude. No, I don't want that. But that is surgery on No, I'm talking about like they they got that is weird. You can cut your dick off What? Like you can cut your dick off Oh, you heard that? No, this guy got a real test. Yeah, this guy just cut his testicles off He was having a dream that he was slicing meat. Oh, no. And so he said he woke up with him cutting his testicles I think he's lying to you and the reason I think he's lying is because like We've all peed in our sleep. You've had that dream that we were peeing and we you know Yeah, I thought we was at the toilet. We peed in the bed. Yeah, it's too much. You got to grab the knife Yeah, then cut yourself and feel the pain. You got caught. I don't believe that. Yeah, you got caught That pain is something you definitely wake up to. Yeah, you don't just fall it keep keep keep cutting. Yeah, you know what I mean? Yeah, now he lying. Damn. That is crazy though. That Lorena Bob's husband got her dick went his cut his dick off and then they just threw it though threw it out the window Yeah, the window the fuck you cheated on me, bro But then you just got to put it back on same size Then you start getting into porn. That's the problem that you can only get girth You can't get no length. You're not gonna like I don't know. I'd be tight at the doctor. I'd be like really like Because you got another chance at dick You know what I mean? Like you got another chance at whatever dick you want like and then they just made it the same day I just looked at you. I didn't want to go. Yeah Oh Are you really scared your wife gonna say uh, he didn't have enough dick? Uh, she may eventually Really, I don't think it's not true But who say she can't say this you gotta be the worst ever though, man To have something like this playing out in the public and it's your wife Because your ex-wife because it's one way you like it's like She was never like that She was never like posting a lot and on the attack and then it just went I go. What just happened? I think it was you know, I You say in the back of your brain, you're like I gotta be ready that when I say I want to divorce People might come out of the woodwork. She could start checking up on people You know what I mean checking up on your past and everything because they never just think always he was unhappy It has to be a reason. Yeah, I'm unhappy. By the way that hurts though, man Just to say you're unhappy. Yeah, I need more of a reason You know, just say you you think you was unhappy. Like what what does that mean? Everything bothers you everything Everything bothers you and you gotta hurt like you're just you're in a dark place. You're like I'm never getting out of this. How old are your kids? They're all over a team Which is important, you know, uh-huh my son's 21 my daughter's 20. Maybe that's a little bit of part of it what's that like The family is grown So you feel maybe less of responsibility to keep that thing together Those family vacations are nice and like having that family unit. Oh, I definitely stayed in it because of the kids Yeah, that's what I'm saying the last few years. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. And now his kids won't talk to him. Yeah about year and a half Nothing Gary's hurting on the inside, bro. Well, the kids part hurts. Yeah. Yeah, especially if you're a Debbie You have no emotional attachment. It's different But when you were like there, yeah, like you were I was there and anybody everybody knows it Like everybody in the business, they know I split town or I couldn't make this event and everything because You know so-and-so. So it was just like and why are they so upset? I don't know. They're not talking to me but I do know this I know My dad didn't help the situation. I talked about that On what did dad do? Oh my god so I went to Sedona. I went to Sedona. I went to grand canyon, right? I went with this girl I'm seeing at this point. This is june. We separated. You took her in malphe too or we separated January, right? Wow, why is wow, bro? How many times did you and your wife go to malphe? Wow But that's the thing When you're out, listen when you're out of the relationship, you don't want to go with that person Like I don't want to go on a long vacation with you. It would drive me crazy Because I I I gave an example when it went during covid, right? I walked my dog every day every day dog Same route same route, right? She woke up a morning. She goes i'm gonna go i'm gonna wake up I'm gonna walk doggy tomorrow. I said all right Five minutes for an argument walking the dog. I go what the fuck You know what I mean? It's like she goes you can't turn there I go I turn it because we lived in uh, we we the house was um Behind his vineyard. Mm-hmm. So I was like we always walk We I even the dog we always walk by the vineyard, but it says no trespassing, but nobody's there. It's covid Right, so I was like we walk this route every day. Yeah, now she's telling me I can't go this route. I'm going Oh my god. Yeah. It was like little things. So You're not trying to travel with your wife. It's like that's why when you brought that up I mean your point's valid. Yeah, I just there's no I was getting on a plane that long and spending a week It would drive me crazy. Yeah I just what was the what was the point of this like we was getting at something you're saying you're done with black chicks No, I did not say that Walk the dog, right? No, no, no, open open black chicks. I'm done with white girls walk dogs the best That's what you're saying. You're like, there's a white woman with a dog. There was a point to this Oh my dad my dad. You're dead. Yeah. So my dad he uh He I went to a long story. Sure. I went to a reds game And I got a sweet because I'm avoiding a process server. So I was like, I can't sit in the stands So I called I called like seven eight of my boys up and I said yo meet me at the the reds game I got a sweet no pictures. No videos. No social media. Everybody was cool with it I don't know. My dad found out I came in town went to reds game tech Left me a voicemail the next morning. I got the voice on my phone still he goes. Hey, it's your fucking dad You don't respect me and shit. I'm going what what's he mad about? And there's always mad sends me a long text how I don't include him in stuff the sense of entitlement is amazing And you say your dad was a deadbeat Never around growing up and then then he's like I'm like he cusses me out and he leaves this long text I called him and then we got an argument over everything and then He said some cursors of me. I cussed him out hung up The picture I took at the Grand Canyon and me and the girl that I sent to like four or five people In like a group chat He sent that picture to my ex-wife. That's what you get for bragging though. How'd it get to him? Uh-huh. How'd it get to him? I sent it to him flexing. No, no, I kept uh, no There was a close girl here. If you want a deadbeat That's what he said to your dad. You could have been here if you wanted I know he's mad about the Super Bowl. I know I'm fucking mad about that What was your caption with the picture in the group chat like moving on? No, no But people was asking like they would ask like, you know, they this way said you have the grand camp. This is that conversation If I was here with you, I'd jump off. No Gary probably put another one Yesterday's price is not today's price Yesterday's wife The conversation amongst people was like he when he called me right when we got to Grand Canyon, he said, um Where yeah, that's the Grand Canyon who you with a friend of mine. Do I know him? I said, it's not a he He said, oh shit. He asked he to see who I'm with so I sent the pic Right, he asked so I sent it. So anyways, he sent that picture to my ex then he posted on his facebook page With the middle finger emoji in front of it Then he posted a picture of my ex-wife and was like, I got you back to this divorce. You've always been like a daughter to me I'm like, he couldn't stand her like they they didn't get along like that. I was like, he just hates you man Why You're such a likable dude, man. Not question. Did your family know that you had moved on? Nobody knew nobody When you send that picture to the group chat they're looking like no, this is in june Okay, the shit got announced in march. Oh got you got you got you. This is months after she got out We have a separation is january got you got you got you so this is six months later Yeah, after I already said I wanted out this ain't new. Yeah, you know, this ain't like I did this before the shit hit the fan It's all after the shit hit the fan got you my dad. I was just like this you Dirty motherfucker, man dirty Damn, Gary, you know, and then they then my openers, you know how you in the road You gotta trust your openers, man Wait, they he fired all his openness dirty all of them going all of them. How many did you have two? Both gone. Why once still talking to her. I'm like, what why'd they choose up with her? They didn't they just like drama Especially the one so he came to here's here's he came to san francisco. Yeah, right? And I was at tommy t's over there out tommy t and um Uh, I had the the new girlfriend with me looking back shenna brought Shenna brought her I was supposed to meet up with my daughter my son that weekend, but They stayed 45 minutes from san francisco I hired a driver for the weekend and I I said yo at any point if they want to see me. I'm out I gotta go see him, right? So we plan on lunch my freaking opener Went and he's cool with my son because my son's 21 openers younger. He went and told him all about He's got the girlfriend in san francisco right now And then he started Basically talking shit about me to my kids and then my daughter's like I want to see you right now I was like what and I said why and she's you know why And then she told me like you're with that new girl and everything else. I'm going she called her girl She called she called her something else, but whatever, but I was just like this I go How'd I find out they tried to tell me the paparazzi got a picture Of me and her walking out of the hotel. So I started doing the timeline together. I go Wait a minute. I landed on a friday. I landed sfo. I went straight to tommy tees Nobody when we went back to the hotel in san francisco Valet's full. I had to go park the car We were never in the lobby together and then saturday morning the same thing I went and got the car She got in the car sarah knew my daughter text me and they came over with this thing that the paparazzi got a picture of me In her lobby. I go we were never in a lobby together at one time. So it's all a lie Like he told them. Why would he do that? Is he starting shit? So I was like this I wanted to have loyalty to you man. That's weird and I put a lot of money in his pocket over the years How many years we are together like Seven eight. Oh, that might be a little resentment my dude. There's entitlement and resentment. I don't know. He's gone I don't know if the title was just resentment like he was waiting on his shot to get you about it And that's what that's what it seems like. Yeah, he's on him right now because love truth be told His role should have been to just mind his business Like there's no reason to even show the side But you also might the thing was He was with my son I wanted him to go that weekend because in my son My son was going to row with me for a lot and he got really close with my opener at the time And then um, they were friends So I told him I said come to san francisco, man I said just talk to him find out where he's at so I can I can see him I hadn't seen him in a while and that that's why I thought That's what I thought was going to happen that weekend. I knew I was going to go the other way I thought you're supposed to height me up You know, you're my dude. Yeah, your dad was hurt and just talk to him that's tricky though Because now you asking him a lie to his friends Who the opener got a lie to his friend, which is your son. I'm not gonna lie about anything You're saying omit. You're saying don't say I'm here with the other girl He should have never brought it up. That's why you mind your business. He should have never brought up He's saying go in there Not have told him that girls with me Yes, there's nothing gonna come of that. That's right mind your business What if what if now I'm playing devil's advocate here, but what if he was like, you know what? I'll come out to the shows with you who what if your son said that? Yeah, she had to stay back. She can't go. She knew that that's respectful. I told her I said If I'm I want to see them, right? Her sister is in law school in san francisco. So she like can I go? I want to see my sister I thought it'd be a good week. I said, yeah, I said I told her up front. I said look At any point if my kids want to see me That's it Like you got I'll get you another hotel room because if my daughter someone to stay with me I was like, you got to get another room. She was cool with everything. Wow, this new woman. I believe you. You're messy, Gary You need to clean up your mess It does sound messy now to mention. I'm like, this is just messy. Like you are a housewife Real housewife the Cincinnati bro. Like real house husband sounds like that, but it really wasn't Wasn't you on that show? What did you want real husbands? No? Oh, they had a couple episodes Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm going now. I mean they should have but would you have a turn this into material? All of it once it's final. Yeah, it can all get Out there, but right now I can't I can't talk about all of it The process server is the the the funniest story. He's just avoiding that. You know, Gary was on the run Wait, why? Because avoid a process server, but what because I filed for divorce in Ohio She filed in california after I filed So whoever gets served first, that's where the divorce is chances are So it's the laws are the roses Oh, are the laws are way better in Ohio for diverse? No, no, I'll put this way They're fair in Ohio, right? Everybody knows california fair to the breadwinner not the man the breadwinner Who got who first we got her in Ohio? We got her Like this We got her I told him on the air I go I had I hired a I hired a process server and then I hired 24 7 I on the house Eyes on it. So she left we get this this chick would knock on my house. Oh, like I'm talking not come out like this What still nothing still nothing and then you know, I started to ring camera tested my phone So I'm I can see what's going on at the front door Then that got taken off. I go wait, but she changed the password Now I didn't have the ring no more So now went I don't think the process server is doing what I asked Now that I didn't have proof. Yeah, and she she sent me like this enormous bill and I go You know, I didn't pay unless she gets served. This is crazy. This shouldn't be this hard This is what you do for a living in a big city So I hired a I hired a process server and private detective out of Ohio And we flew to Sacramento drove over We got her within an hour We got her coming out of a grocery store and then she ended up going to Panera bread and we got her served For all the black women who thought that, you know, you wanted to go to the other side He thought it was cooler over there. He thought it was safer over there. He thought things were different over there We told you black men don't cheat sometimes you're you're in it too like in it You're going it's just what is going on right now I am following her on the highway in the backseat of a car. You have to be with her This time I did because I hired this this I think you did after your own pleasure game. No, no, no because I didn't trust I'm getting this bill And I'm going I I know movement's better. I know and I know I know how she moves But that's the ride along we need will packer. You are slipping. We need We need to take the stories about avoiding the process servers on the road, bro Colorado Springs And then come to your shows If they could they could they could serve you anywhere. I wouldn't fly into cities. I was performing I I had shown Baltimore. I flew in a Pittsburgh and drove I was in I was I was in uh, why don't they just come to the comedy club? They couldn't get to me. I hired security to sit in the front and look like fans And they would sit there front row. I said anybody comes to the stage you tackle That's right. Fuck I act like the worst human being on the earth long before Chris rocket chappelle had security front row So I had front row like every club ahead of time. I did it first I get to the club. I don't have two hours for the show Go through a back get back door like hotels alias Like staying I wouldn't leave the hotel. Tell them about the time you wore blackface to disguise yourself. Yeah, that was different I'm just kidding That was like this yeah, that was different But perfect perfect example of my owners real quick. Is it if they touch you with the papers? You have to take the papers. You have to take them from them Like they have to hand them to you and you have to grab them Well, they throw them at you and you just go like that. Well, that's what happened in Colorado Springs Then my focus said and here's a here's what's bad I had I had this new guy that was a bulldog out of pittsburgh. His name's t-robe I he wasn't let nothing happened. He he's been grinding Hamid on the road all said he's on the road with me. He's like this. He goes, yo I ain't fucking this up. I said nobody can touch me dude. No fans nothing. Somebody says hi. Keep him away. He was on it He couldn't make this show in Colorado Springs. I literally told him I said I think I might get served next week, dude. You're not with me dude. We get Five minutes in Colorado Springs. I come out of the hotel Crossing over show first shows at seven. It's like 5 30 right crossing over early. This guy goes. Hey gary And I turned and mother fuck was pulling papers out of his back pocket and I was like, oh, shit Morse chest now boys in the hood. I'm running right l wobbly dude. No, yeah I wouldn't fuck up there. You gotta stop saying it where you got shot bro. No, but So I'm running feeling like this dude This dude started chasing me and ran right between my opener and road manager. They just looked at him I said your only job was to stop. I'm not asking you to beat him by up stop Can they don't is that legal they can grab you can grab anybody? Yeah, I said just grab him and if he did try to anything I got you right They he walked right in between them. I look back and they're just staring and I'm running and he threw him at me He threw the papers you winged it and I went and it didn't touch me And then he goes like this, right? And I look down there I look back at my open I go don't fucking touch that because if he touches it i'm served if he picks it up I'm served because he's with me So you fight your road manager too all of them. God dang Wow, I don't know if I get anywhere So we get in the we get in the dressing room now and i'm now reality's kicking in like oh, fuck I'm out of guys serves and i'm hot right and he tried to say he served me But he didn't because we had they had videos in the alley and pictures and I he didn't serve me that was close That is that was easy. So how'd you get your wife then? Why'd she take the papers? We got her and uh, well, I don't know You're so cut off guard like I've been served before for other things But never for a divorce where I had so much riding on it, but We just got her like at a Panera bread drive-through She went to go get some to eat. Oh you handed it with the food No, no, no, she was at the drive-through and she got boxed in between two cars And the processor were just knocked it wasn't like all bad. It was just she knocked She rolled in the window and she went you're served and she signed it and everything I think she was in shock like oh, that's just this is happening and then um We left and maybe that's why your kids are upset that you guys are going back and forth for that. No, they're they're mad they're mad Over i'm seeing a new girl. They're mad about that But they got to understand that now that you guys aren't together that you're gonna have other Well, not if that woman if you don't know what you don't know what what What their brains getting filled with at the house. I don't either Yeah, yeah, so maybe she's that's the woman who broke up the family as far as their concern And that's not the case. Yeah, I was out right before that You know, I we've been together 20 years. I left three different times. Just nobody knew Oh, really? Like I left numerous times during the marriage and just like came back and tried to and I didn't want to be a weekend Dad Yeah, probably stayed in it because of the kids. Yeah, but as far as the if you're asking the passion Yeah, years. Yeah years. It's been and you guys tried therapy before We did Yeah, but at this point We're just spinning wheels. We're just wasting money. How long it took you to cheat It's not what we're talking about here. True. True. It's not I can tell them that's another good question. No good marriage ever ended because of cheating That was when you get the cheating when you get the cheating It's over with it was over with before that Yeah, because if you um, if if you feel like it's something still there like you still love this person You still want to be with this person? Yeah, whether you're a man or a woman. You'll forgive it Like a man will forgive a woman if you really love that woman A woman will forgive a man if he she really loved that man, you know, I mean like cheating I don't think cheating is usually the deal breaker. I can't do that depends At this point, I wouldn't I don't think I'm like laughing at somebody else's joke. I would I would Yeah I'm busting it open for another motherfucker. No, that's too much, right at our age Yeah, you know what I mean? Because I would be thinking like how Gary said like if you're doing this at this age That means something's not Connecting with us on a different level emotionally mentally spiritually like it can't just be you wanted to go get some other Yeah, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah I told her when I when I called her to tell her about the divorce everything I was just like, uh, I want you to be happy. I said, I think we'll be better people because of this I know it sounds crazy. I said, I'll be a better dad I'll be a better friend to you because right now and I don't one day maybe she'll Admit it, but there's no way she was happy. There's just no way. I was miserable for how long Well, maybe you're telling yourself that guy can you said earlier? Uh, well if I'm miserable And I know I'm not giving you what you need. Yeah any in any kind of a physically emotionally nothing But what if her joy was making you miserable? How about that? That's a good point. That's a good point. That's a good point. That's a good point also too when you say, um You say you was miserable, but she was happy A lot of times because ignorance is bliss If she didn't know you were unhappy and you was just going along with emotions playing along She don't know that you're unhappy So she's like, oh, I got a great marriage until you say otherwise that can be valid But it's also when she's telling you what she needs from you. Yeah, you can't give it to her Yeah, that's always you know, you made the right decision because you're unhappy I think it's why did you wait until the bingo started winning to do this? Like if I don't know that I left a long time ago If I would have known We're going to Super Bowl years ago. We'd have we Tom Brady would have two rings. Oh my god. I'm like this As soon as I leave they go, I was like, what are the chances? Are you shitting me right now? It like it helped my healing process so much To be a dire bigos fan in your world's crumbling else and we're winning I go It might have hurt your feelings Though if they were the one though because they got a ring you lost yours, you know what I mean No, no I might my stress level because I was row one at the Super Bowl Was I've always said I'm gonna get on stage because Kev didn't yeah, I always said I'm gonna get on a fucking stage So my stress I was like shit if we win I got to get arrested I'm getting on the stage. I'm getting arrested. Yeah. I was like, oh, how are you gonna get on? I had a little I had a little plan with the coach like me and Zach's cool So we had a little we had a little something I think he was gonna allow me to come up if I made it that far. Yeah, I said I said, yo, man I always said like kid he goes he goes we'll work something out if that happens You gotta be the biggest bingo fan. I know outside of like I don't know if he would any other bangles fan did This season was amazing. We're so good now got the quarterback I don't know how y'all gonna be next year this year like in two weeks. They might figure out joe burrow. Yeah They're not gonna figure out joe burrow. He's figuring the NFL out. I think he'll be good. I think he'll be good in his third year I think he might have this is his third year. I thought it was a second. Oh, it's a third year That's what a fan I am. He blows his knee out. I blow my knee out That's why I did it. How many times you ain't no real fucking fan Three times really the last they ever there was 20 some years ago when it happened last time doing what? Well, the first time we just pick up basketball in the navy. Okay, this last one Shooting this movie with kevin tiffani, uh, westy snipes in it. It's the chris benzer one back on the ship It's not out yet. Okay. Okay. We're playing strippers. We're getting the band back together Really? I got a little over zealous and jumped off the stage of my ship buckled. I'm That's how it happened you playing it's just like a comedic magic. Oh, yeah phase on love Bill Bellamy jb smooth and they all strip us. Yeah, huh? Yeah, okay. I trust chris though Uh, I trust chris benzer. We're it's we're we're getting the band back together. It's 25 years later Got you guys use the strip. Yeah, we use the strip and now we're older. We're getting the band back together Do they have younger versions of y'all or yeah? Yeah. Okay. I'm ripped All right, all the younger version. I was like, okay. Okay. I like what you did there CGI or they wouldn't got somebody else No, CGI. Oh, so they see your face with a different body. No, no, you don't see us from 25 years ago. Just a poster Oh You know because because like phase on tank. Yeah, he was like that brand. I'm jacob's build. What's your script name? Dr. X Because I was a surgeon in in the movie. I'm a surgeon. Okay, and and I was stripping to get to medical school So I always had a mask on so no I had spray tan, but nobody knew I was black in the movie So then I had to get a makeup every day. Nobody knew you were white. Yeah, nobody knew I was white So they had it it was this is true story First day they're trying to spray my body right because I got a mask on And I was like literally I'm looking at I go this too dark But how you say that to a to a makeup look like blackface. Yeah, I was like this. Look man I don't want to be this black Guy, you know, they coming at you. You know, they're gonna say you was wearing blackface. Yeah, so Yeah, westy snipes walked in the dressing room. He goes, that's too dark. I go if westy snipes says I'm too dark too freaking Like this so they I'm a more a shamar more shade. Yeah in the movie That's still blackface. They'll still say it's blackface. I'm not like face black body But Robert Downey jr. Was like they screened it. They've screened it and chris said no backlash But you know what it's me screen it for twitter Well, twitter don't count. Shit. Well, it's our face. It's body. You don't count those body builders do that shit all the time They'll say black body I can see it now But the body builders do it. Look at it. That's gonna be the funniest headline Gary Owens accused of doing black body In new chrism we like I was wondering how long it was gonna take before he called you gary Owens And we are I think maybe 45 what I say gary Owens. Oh, it's Owen. Yeah, it is Owen. No, but you didn't oh, no s Until about 45 minutes it because I saw something recently about that somebody I don't know if you corrected somebody or somebody said stop calling them owens. It's only I always correct you But I do it like laughing. Yeah, it's Owen. No s. Yeah, I probably I don't know what the name my next special be They're probably the name of the next special. It's all in the way I like dr. X That's my stripper name. I know I just think that's a good one for the gary. Owen bro gary x I like x because now you're an x husband. Oh my gosh, you don't think so I was thinking Owen like he always his wife like you Like gary gary be owing Oh, I like that. What's your middle name? Stephen or we'll just go gary. Esso and shit Shit Owen what What are the rules in ohio I you know what I don't we're going to mediation, but I know it's fair. It's not it's not 50 50 for the rest of your life Yeah, you know what I mean, she deserves 50 50 though What how it no, but if you knew If you knew the whole story if you knew the whole story She owes it bro. I'll tell you I can tell you off air everything But I'm not gonna air dirty learn like that. I don't want to know. Can you he's not gonna tell me nothing off air Don't call. I don't need to be in court for nothing. It's not a witness I don't want to know gary. Okay. I just think she deserves 50 for the time Yeah, I deserve what a time bro. I deserve for the time, bro That's true. That's true. If you knew if you know the fucking new Hold on Taylor y'all doubt. It's a black queen still If you really knew what that black queen put me if you know what the fuck going on right now What's really going on? Yeah, we'll take that shit back Did you think royalty only does like good things? Have you followed history at all the game of thrones? Shut the fuck up Searsie The royals do fuck that shit. Oh, man, if you knew if you really fucking knew the reason The reason oh still deserves half the time. Yeah Not half for the rest of your life fucking knew the reason bro You don't want to know but if you knew you would change your tune. So goddamn fast right now Can you say it and then we just cut it out the pod? No, I don't trust you guys to cut it out No, we we would never put it we wouldn't do that but don't do that guy I'd rather you just tell us off there. No, I don't want to know never mind Even if you knew it's not like It's not like, um Damn, that's how I sounded She beat you up, bro. No, I she caught you If you guys do the real reason why this is happening and it's frustrating because I can't tell people the real reason because I don't want to throw under the bus but Why I left and everything it's it's a lot really a lot of shit That I found out about and I went like this What what and now I'm digging I'm getting I'm cleaning up all these messes And I'm getting dragged and I'm cleaning all this shit up and not saying a word But I'm cleaning it up, but you're kind of tired Well, fuck I'm tired Yeah, if you fucking knew and even the kids that's why I want to go and don't do it yet I don't it's not worth it No, but my thing is to tell the kids what's really going on because it's not scandalous It's just irresponsibility is what what's happening, but I was just like if I could just tell them Like this is what's going on. Well, tell them when you get the opportunity to have a nice family You know what I mean, I will I don't like to see all of this playing out publicly I don't because you know, I don't know who to believe I don't care to believe anyone I just you know, which didn't just didn't play out publicly You know what's so interesting about the internet man is like I'm aware because I follow you I only know your side of everything. I know your life I know what's going on with you and that's what the internet does it like divides us into these little bubbles So I know that you had a great vacation in Italy. I know that you tore your ACL I know that you're loving what's happened with the bangles like from my side I'm like floored by this podcast so far because from my side I understood that you're going through a divorce, but I didn't realize that it was this crazy I thought you were moving on with your life and things are going well and your football Trying now try to move on literally that's just all I know because I'm following you following him But I'm not following the pages that are covering this your wife and all these other things that are going Really in a situation like this, but maybe Gary and Kenya is the only people you should listen to When we start getting when she started getting money is when everybody else start chiming in because they don't know what's happening So now my focus is get online and start making up because I told him I said it was funny We was on the air and I said yeah If I hear she left that dusty white devil one more time and I go and I'm sitting here going like this She didn't but what is she left let her let her let her get that way Who left though? That's got that's kind of egotistical That is narcissism it is It is but it's also like Um, I took all the L's for the longest just going just being quiet Yeah, you know, but and where it's at now is like kids aren't talking to me. Yeah, you know what I mean I'm like this shambles. So I'm just trying to like give it and I still even on this podcast He said a bad word about her. Yeah, never never I've never called her out her name I can honestly say that I have never even if we got arguments I never called her out her name now one time was she ever say I called her anything other than kenya I told you on breakfast book out her name. That means I called her like a bad word. Yeah, never. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you know Yeah, until she dropped that in words Yeah, I'm nervous I'm nervous Is that affection? If she just tweets that if you think Joe Rogan's n-word tape was crazy Man it was harping in the mood think like a man there was all them it might not be an s in the one, but it's an n He said it with a Hey, man, I wish y'all the best. I really really really really truly do I hate Seeing this shit play out like this, man. I guess what I was entertaining though. I was saying Say what that's entertaining though for the people. Yeah, yeah I guess what I'm saying is that there there are a lot of people out there that don't know that this is going on So that's also kind of cool. I know when you're like consuming internet content You think that's the only thing that's happening in your world and everybody in the world knows about it But there's also people out there like me that are just seeing you Move on and be successful and like do these really cool things and you've been this lifelong bangles fan Like I remember having a moment when I saw the bangles in superbowl And I was like, oh shit Gary's probably so happy right now. Yeah, and and think about how close I am to you Like we operate in stand-up we operate in entertainment So there's also a lot of people out there that know this part of Gary Yeah, you know when it's overwhelming it feels like the whole world's calling you dusty white devil Just know there's other people out there that are not well. That's what it helped because You know, I was when I was in the process server I literally was locked in hotel rooms and airbnb's and wasn't going out And the only thing I got is my laptop So I'm just I'm just re consuming all the fuck all of it. I'm going You know, then they're like, are they gonna turn on them? And then I when I got back on the road and I went to baltimore and we were sold out all weekend I go, oh, okay. We're good. Nobody turned on me. You know, I walked on stage Everybody's clapping like nothing wrong and even out in public like nobody's ever stopped me and just went dusty white devil Yeah, you left it. Nobody you know what I get for anything this shit. I get everybody gets this Amen gets better been through it. Yeah, and then the people that called me in our line of work And just just for support. Yeah, I'm like I say you but I told him on air I said some dude called and just said amen This before anybody I served he goes whether it's california, ohio no matter what happens He goes your talent won't allow you to go broke. Yeah, just know that even if you lose half you'll be fine You get it back. I didn't say that I did not say that I did not say that Why are you keep saying that and why are you looking at me so disappointed? Because she is I told you I told you black women are looking at guy like I was just thinking about going with a white guy yo now Wow, I'm talking. So you did something for the black community right here I did a lot keeping us together. Yeah, that's right. You've done more than dr. Umar johnson when you really think about Way more And you're not gonna catch me at the mall. All right Dr. Umar has a whole case study about this. I'm sure look Dr. Umar got a class about this. Then he got then he got them all like flirting with some chick That was a woman talking He did a 23 of me on her that was that was that was like in the Malcolm X movie When the woman was coming up to Malcolm X and asking what can she do nothing? That's right That's what dr. Umar told her there's nothing you can do. All right. Stay away from my brothers. Yeah. Yeah, there is something you can do It's funny though that you went down that rabbit hole with the internet because I would never do that to myself But I would never listen to what these motherfuckers got to say You know the internet is the funniest place in the world because they swear they know what they're talking about And they'd say these things with such confidence online But it's interesting too because it didn't like It wasn't like I was I was reading it going like this Oh, man, everybody hates me. I was reading like god. You guys really don't know what's going on. Yeah Really don't know. Oh, that's the most frustrating. You know, that's the most frustrating at least for me It's like when I'm being misrepresented So like with your when you're being misrepresented and hate it based on the misrepresentation That's when it's hard to be silent But how about this and being a comedian you know this like it's like the people on the internet that are upset They were never going to come see me anyways. Yeah I worry about the people that pay to see tickets Yeah, and pay tickets to see me and stuff like that. Yeah, and I told him I go The the best thing that's happened through all this is You know, I'm not talking to my kids. I know what's going on my oldest my stepson Who who I raised basically? His aunts came to my show in Sacramento a couple weeks ago and I thought they were about to go in on me I go, oh, shit So when they they came to the meet and greet I go, why they kind of meet and greet they come up And I first hand said I go, do you guys hate me? And he's like no you took care of our Emilio. We'll never hate you. Yeah, I was like this Oh, yeah, I did raise a kid that wasn't mine. Yeah, that was hers. Yeah, and he's Doing great in life right now. Yeah his own house. They again got girlfriend just doing life Is he's still talking to you? Yeah, but that's his mom. Yeah, he's not gonna come around to the mom Comes around, you know My thing is like her dad will come around I hope because her dad died her dad got murdered when she was six My dad went around and my stepdad wasn't a good person So, you know You know, you know what it's like to deal with not having a dad around and now you got somebody that is around And to throw the word deadbeat out like I'm like there's so many women out there that have deadby dads That kids have deadby dads and that's wasn't me to to throw me out like that. I was like this Now, you know, that's not true everything else we can talk about That's not true. You know what I mean, especially with kids that don't have dads. Yeah, you know what I mean? I was there. Yeah, I was there. What about latinas? How do you feel about latinas? Oh, which version? Like from Puerto Rican Yeah, we could do that. We could go Caribbean, Mexican Yeah, Florida Cubans Florida and you don't like Florida. You think all the crazy people come from Florida? They do I love Florida, but there's all the crazy people in America come from the Bronx and all the Florida See, I don't know the Bronx. Oh I know Florida. Oh Put it like this in the Bronx that you see the dude dragging the casket Just for no reason He was dragging a casket in the middle of the street and it was a guy It was a guy the funniest part of the video was a guy was walking with him While he's dragging the casket and the guy's like trying to stop traffic so he can get through I'm like, help him with the fucking casket That's the type of shit that happens in the Bronx. What was he dragging it for I have no idea Someone don't need it in the Bronx. Somebody's definitely gonna need it. Yeah, uh, let's pay some bills, man Uh, you want to talk bluetooth? Let's do it. What's up everybody? Uh, this episode has been brought to you by bluetooth. Okay, best Boners in the business. Let's say for example, you're in your 40s newly single You got a hot young chick. You're taking around the world's grand canyons Italy other places Listen, you might not have that young 20 year old dick anymore, but that might be what she expects That's right. Okay. So what are you gonna do? How you go crack it open clean it out? You gotta go with the bluetooth. Okay, same active ingredients inside viagra, sialis But this is the chew this one that we rock with and this one newly divorced Rich dudes that are traveling the world and living their wildest dreams Are also rocking with okay, and you're gonna get it for free. All you gotta do is pay Gary just look to see if I'm reading copy He frees out All you gotta do is pay five dollars shipping You're gonna get your first month free. Just go to bluetooth.com use the promo code idiots Okay, and you get your first month free. Just pay that five dollars shipping go out there get that What else we got charlie? Do you think you congested say what does it mean? Actually, you know just nothing left that comes out. You need it bro. You need everything comes out You got a new you got a new boo You're gonna have to you know show her that it wasn't the dick that caused problems in your marriage I'm serious. You're gonna have to show her, bro. You know what I mean? I'm serious You don't know if she used to dating white guys or not. So you got lary. You got to dispel all myths True. What's what's that again? It's a yeah, yeah, what's it again? Is it lowercase? I Just want to say thank you so much everybody support the special man. We uh, we just finished selling it. Thank you Thank you. You were great, man. You always promote. You always show love man. Thank you so much Uh, so so yeah, man. Thank you guys so much for that. That was absolutely fucking incredible and uh Yeah, life changing light absolutely like and yeah, it's probably gonna come up in the divorce What? So you just you're buying other people's specials So thank you everybody And if you can't uh, like if you didn't buy it fucking pirate it it's available You know people put them up on them pirating sites You can go do that and then eventually I'll have it up on youtube So if you don't figure out the pirating shit, we'll get it up there on youtube one of these days Uh, mine is simple. Make sure you go get some of 85. That's our latest audible original from me and uh Kevin Hart's company sph productions at audible. Make sure you go grab that. Thank you to everybody that's been getting it Um, make sure you scream hell of a week Uh, my late night talk show gary oan was on the last episode along with flame and roe and chi osa and uh Issa ray they was on the last episode so make sure you scream that on paramount plus that we're gonna be off for two weeks So I already know uh, that's gonna make reddit saying that the show's been canceled but we're We're on hiatus for the next two weeks because uh, we are on the same schedule as the daily show So trev is taking off for two weeks We're we we are for two weeks So we'll be back uh in a couple weeks for the new episode of hell of a week same time thursday night 1130 on comedy central uh gary. What do you got? I said too much already. I know you got some shows coming up. Oh, yeah Yeah, okay this weekend. I'm in cincinnati. Oh you're home. Ohio you home next week. I'm in san diego Oh this thursday. I'm in houston at the toyota center with 50 cent Oh tycoon weekend tycoon weekend. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Oh you and joseph's the car. I gotta get a picture together I'm sure he'll be out there. Oh, I better not show his mother fucking face man What if your wife ends up with him? This guy is crazy. What man? I'm just saying. Joseph, don't show your mother fucking face, bro. What this guy is? What's that old joke you had? Crazy. It's like when you're not cheating, it's a tribute. You cheat with somebody that look like your ex, bruh, that's a tribute, bruh. You imagine Oh, guess the dick wasn't that bad You guess what? It looks just like it Y'all know if you got the same dick, huh? If you got the same dick, yeah Oh, I don't think that's gonna come up Hopefully not. Wait, so when you're when you're with 50 cent you open his show Dude, this shows like it's comedy and music. So it's gonna be like how is that they're gonna do the first half Comedy, you know, sometimes they'll do intermission The intermission is gonna be the musician not intermission, but it's gonna be like four music acts And then we then we're coming back with like four comics after the music. So is everybody seated at least? Yeah, it's the Toyota center. Okay. So it's like r&b and ain't rappers Well flow rider is the only rapper but he's going up after the and then they'll then they're doing the singers after the comedians are done So it's like comedy some music comedy the music And how long Show starts at eight. We gotta be able to build him about 11 30. Oh, wow. We'll see if it starts on time But that's the thing because I mean, you know You gotta be out the bill when they say you got to be out the building and me like every minute It's thousands of fucking yeah I always did that one when i'm on them ensembles tours, you know what I mean I'm the it's always the best because when i'm with epps I'm usually going up right for mike and literally if it's running long. They're looking at gear. I go Yeah, I can do 15 whatever I'm not that I need my 30 minutes. I'm like this 15. No problem. You still get the same pay same check I literally look at him like this. They always go to me because they know I ain't arguing. I'm like, how long 12 got it And literally I'll be like this. So they're not told it Good night You guys been awesome. Enjoy mike up. You're gonna get your clothes. I don't need to if you're funny for the whole duration It's not like they're gonna be like, what just happened. Okay. Most comics That's the problem. They go long because they want to get that last big boom. Yeah No, just tell me you appreciate him coming out. That's a good night. That's it. What is it weird following music? I'll tell you friday. Oh, you know, you know, not like this not like this I've done shows like, you know where they've had rmb and comedians, but usually you're hosting Or you have a set for that specifically because it's such a different environment like people are staying and they're talking I'll figure it out. Really? Good thing. I'm not going first. Yeah, that I'm going the second half of the show So I'll see what the vibe is. You just kind of figure it out a lot of shows like that. I'll just go local Yeah, Houston stuff like Houston radio commercials. Yeah, I got some funny ones. Yeah, I think like the neighborhoods Yes, I like we're not doing that long. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, we're doing I think I'm scheduled for 15 By the time we're running late, which we're gonna run late. Yeah six Let's talk about I want to talk about two more things I want to talk about one more thing and then I want to do asking idiots because uh Me and Gary both got a a flight to catch but oh shit I saw this um I saw this this morning well last night and we talked about it this morning And it's this great documentary on vice and you should absolutely watch it It's only 17 minutes. It's on youtube and the name of the documentary is how robbers use snapchat to set up social media influences and they interviewed the guy who Was uh helped orchestrate the robbery of kim Kardashian. He's like 70 something years old He said that he has no remorse for the incident because kim Kardashian should be a little less showy And he said that these people are insensitive to those who don't have money And so he has no remorse. He was like, yo, I see them on television and they're throwing jewelry and stuff away We'll come collect it Say what you want to say He has a point and you would be a fool to not take heed to what a robber is saying Yeah, I think there's a lot of people that would agree with him You think the majority of people would probably agree that I mean if you go to like Well, I was in Morocco, right? I saw something really interesting when I was in Morocco The wealth is all inside So the outside of the building looks pedestrian, right? Yeah, you could even argue looks poor sometimes I'll have like a beautiful door or something like that But all the wealth is in these like riyadhs on the inside stunning you open it up beautiful There's like a fucking roof but everything is inside because motherfuckers know that people are starving on the street That's right. And if you just holding all your wealth, you got these big windows. That's right You're basically going hey It's in here if you got balls to take you know There's this dude on the documentary and he's got like a mask on and shit because he doesn't and his voice is like Kind of they distorted it. He goes it makes my dick hard to take these people's jewelry off It's the big my dick hard when I when I stripped them of this their their clothes not their clothes But their jewelry and their their material items. I was like god damn. Well, they're not in prison No, he did two years. That's it. He did two years, bro He's 72 he did two years and he came on but that's worked it no two years to rob millions of dollars You got you got off like 10 million dollars in jewelry All I'm simply saying is if you're on if you're gonna flash your shit on social media At least have security when you're out and about I don't understand people who show off like Things that they bought people in their family because now you're making A target and they don't got They don't have a security like you do. I don't want nobody to know like no disrespect I saw Tyree's bias daughter a car. I don't want to buy know my daughter driving I don't want to buy know my woman drive it. You know what I'm saying like I just feel like much value in the flex Is it like well there's value in the flex now because you think it's safe to flex But once people feel like there's safety is in question and those that flex Well, then you got the on the other side you got the with the angiotate dude Yeah, yeah, he's flexing and that's what's getting them all the followers and He's flexing muscles. Like he's working out and he's flexing People like that is just when they catch you. Yeah Like you don't know if it's the bull guys and shit That's really making him pop off as much as it is the philosophy. Yeah, I never even heard I never heard him till I did logan paul's podcast Oh, when'd you do logan's? A couple weeks ago when I flew back where I was I I think I was in miami when I flew back from miami They were in new york and I went and did it get out of here. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Why don't you tell me with logan and uh George, you know, yeah, mike may like mike. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I like those guys. Yeah, them guys are dope When is that coming out? I have no idea I don't know how long goes it's like a week. Maybe oh, yeah Yeah, we could we could two we could two ago, but they asked me about dude I'm like, I have no idea who that is. Yeah I had that was the first time I ever even heard his name. I didn't know until the Paul fight fell apart So this is a perfect example of like people operating different spheres He was the most googled person on the internet more than kim kardash in really so the most searched person in the world Last week It was like last week or maybe two weeks ago or something like that Well, that's probably why he ended up on so many people's radar recently because because of this what he got banned from twitter and then he got banned from instagram facebook but The the point that i'm trying to say here is that like that he's like out of your guy's bubble And he was dominating our bubble And and just as I didn't know that you were going through these marital This marital trauma, but you were like completely aware of it. You know all the fucked up shit that he's going through That's what happens now at the internet. Yes. Is that your world you think is the world? Yes, and it's not Andrew tate. I thought was dominating everything you guys going. I didn't know that motherfucker Wasn't too recently. I saw somebody on reddit. I got I went on reddit last night funny reddit is hilarious Reddit is the most hilarious. I haven't been on reddit so long But I went on reddit last night reddit is hilarious because these people on reddit Really talk like they know what's going on and somebody already said Yeah, shawlamain needs academics on this show not don lemmon You should get academics. I would I would love to have acorn the panel or something like that But my point is it's don lemon don may not be Nothing in your world, but in the world, I don't even want to say the world world But in the world world it's don fucking lemon. I don't think you need don lemon, bro. Hey, you need dr Umar that you say that but then guess what uh when I when I had don on hell of a week You know, he went it went it went viral for some things he said about cnn And about how you know if he's not able to speak truth to power We can insert this if he's not able to speak truth to power He'd walk away. Yes, I will be able to do what I do on cnn And if I'm not allowed to be able to tell which is to tell the truth So if if I'm not allowed to do that Then I will go on and do it somewhere else. I don't think that You'd be willing to walk you'd be willing to walk a nice life. Would you like that? And I'm not only just cnn people don't allow journalists to be journalists Because again, we hold the powerful accountable question question heads of state The leader of the free world kings queens Dictators that is where our jobs are So that was a headline like that was box news headline all the news sites and then it resurfaced again yesterday Because all the cuts that chris lit me at cnn suited my god chris lit chris was executive producer on my talk show Last season but now he's president of cnn. So of course you can't do it But like that's the everybody has an audience is what I'm right right everybody's audience is different You can't discount any of it just because I don't know who Andrew Tate is I don't mean millions of people don't Right, you know just because you might not give a fuck about don lemon millions of people do like he's asked Did you ask don lemon about that monkey pox? No, I didn't get to that. I think why not? I didn't get to the pox So gary Why not just ask about the monkey? Yo, who's gonna be the the tom hanks of monkey pox who's gonna be like the first straight guy that comes out It's not enough people getting it son every gay dude got it Not really yo, you got to talk to more gay dudes. It's like 20-something thousand people in the world It might be 30,000 people in the world now, bro. Well now all the gay dudes are vaccinated It's a more people Supposedly getting into heaven than it is goddamn that got monkey pox. It's 144 thousand folks to get into heaven I'm just saying bro. That's the shit you can show off on social media. Nobody gonna rob you for Monkey pox not until fucking tom hanks comes out with it. I don't know. I got I got covid again Go to ask an idiot's tail Until someone else straight comes out monkey pox Okay, let's stop and pay this ad and then we'll come back and do asking idiots salute the ridge wallet We appreciate you for sponsoring this episode of the brilliant idiots the ridge wallet holds up to 12 cards Plus room for cash There's over 30 colors and styles including the hennessey performance the carbon fiber and burnt titanium The wallets have over 50,000 five star reviews the durable material means each wallet comes with a lifetime warranty The ridge team is so confident that you'll like it that they'll let you test drive it for 45 days You can send it back for a full refund if you don't love it It's made with rfid blocking technology that protects you from digital pickpocketers And here's a special bonus for our listeners with every dollar spent on the website before september 30th You'll be entered to win a brand new upgrade of ford bronco Or 75 000 if you prefer cash, what would y'all take the 75 000 or the ford bronco the ford bronco is white By the way, yeah for bronco bronco What would you take guys 75 grand or the white ford bronco 75 grand. Okay. When it will be announced in october Before after the divorce final after the divorce is final Yes, 75 To get your ridge wallet and to enter for a chance to win a ford bronco Go to ridge.com slash idiots use coupon code idiots to enter now. Let's do some asking idiots Taylor Uh, then it's got a mind of business, bro Then this is getting in the way of progress man. Like the us is already Working things out with russia behind the scenes. It'll happen Only thing dentists can do is complicate the situation because russia's not letting britney grind to go for free, bro Of course not it's not happening Okay, fax What is your feeling? How do you feel about britney grind? Here's my thing Really She might be having a ball in that prison She's queen b Dude, they're just serving her all kinds of russian dishes. I believe that I believe that though. I believe that Oh, yeah, come on. Like it's bad, but it ain't that bad Let's think about but also you have to know When you leave the country you just gotta know the rules of the country you're in Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I went to dubai before dubai got poppin Yeah, and it was during ramadan and I I was asking I had a guy show me I was doing shows on military bases, right? I was like, what do you do? He goes, no, we don't do anything We don't eat till this and this I go, oh I'm just gonna stay in my room He said, yeah, you should so I wouldn't I didn't go out On my hotel till it was safe to go out. Everybody else was out. I didn't want to be I didn't know what was disrespectful went to the mall I was like, you see girls. I didn't know if I could look at them say hi flirt. No. Yeah, I just like Like is it hard doing comedy over there? We is I was on a military base though. Oh, so you're talking to americans. Okay. I give you Military it was like it was it was cool. It was called tent city So the the ship will pull in and they literally On this base they had these tents and all the tents had like it was like a burger king tent Or a wendy's tent or like a gap tent h&m tent So it was all these it wasn't a lot in it But it was enough they have food. Yeah. Yeah. It was like like wendy's would have like you could get hamburger cheeseburger fries Same a burger it went a lot of options But it still was wendy's with a good food. I didn't eat it But I'm saying yeah, it was tent city because I performed like three in the morning because the Super Bowl was on It was the giants and uh ravens Super Bowl So I went up before the game and then I came on halftime and did some little games for the military guys and stuff It was cool. It's cool experience. Um, let's do some asking idiots. All these questions are for Gary Gary first question. What are you doing for the black lives matter movement? Nothing, they seem like they got a lot going on got the house Got a mansion stuff like that. So I'm not I don't give the charities. I'll get to a person I'm not giving the cancer, but I'll give to a person that has has cancer to help their lives Why wouldn't you give to just whole cancer research because I don't know where it's going We hear so many stories that the money is not a lot at where it should so I'll have so There's there's the video of me send that kid to college, right? I go, I'm not gonna send. I'm not gonna donate to a school When I can the money I could I could just send one kid to cause and at least he's I know he's in college Yeah, yeah, you know, so I sent a kid to college got you, you know, um mark 19 wants to know gary Do you think you're a black ridden see the god but whiter than andrew? Who see the god me shall I mean god? I'll see the god. Yeah. Yeah. I'm thinking some singer See the god Do you think you're blacker than me but whiter than andrew? No, I'm definitely not as black as you I'm blacker than andrew though. Okay, so that however you want to answer that No, you're whiter. No, but you'd have to be whiter than and you're not as white as andrew not as white as andrew Really? No, definitely not blacker than me, but then there's parts that are like super white country parts Yeah, but we have a lot in common But that's a big broke country has a lot in common broken black. Yes. Yeah Absolutely, the only difference between a trailer park and like the projects. We don't have the gun violence One we would probably shoot ourselves Yeah, the the neighbor when I grew up, but you know, there is in those poor white neighborhoods. There is a lot of uh What you would call white on white crime? Yeah, but proximity to each other. Yeah, but we don't have we don't have the We just don't have the the murder rate But everything else is the same. Yeah outside of that. Yeah Yeah, my first white friend my guy thomas mess with the thomas thomas Used to live right by us on the dirt road Like yeah, he I never even looked at thomas's white. Yeah. I just did it like he was just thomas You know what I mean? He was in south carolina. It's interesting that my bunkmate in boot camp It was what blew my mind about black and white people and broke and everything else because his name was copair washington Small town in south carolina. We're sitting there, you know boot camp everybody's the same We all get the same money and he got these pictures and he was on a farm John dear all I go. Are you on vacation? He was like, uh, that's where I live. I go black I don't live on farms. That's all we did. He called his brother from mississippi His brother from george his brother. I'm gonna tell you his career. What'd you just say? I go black I don't live on farms. It was like do the right thing Okay, man, you would see that in ohio in ohio black living cities No black people live in the farms in the midwest chappelle got a farm Chappelle's not like black like that He's different. He's transcendent He's trans. What he's transcendent. Oh, what about the he's not black or white. He's dave chappelle Like literally like the clan likes dave chappelle like they don't like black people like he's different You know what I mean, there's those people that just they transcend race, you know, and he's one of them So I he's that's not does he live on a farmer? I thought he did. I thought he had mad issues in yellow spring Oh scroll up tail. Look, I don't remember asking gary this somebody is saying to Reflect on the clip with charlotte asked gary. How many years has he been fateful? When was this? What's his name again a mod 99 alamari stay my motherfucking business Of my nine. How long you been faithful, bitch? How long you been faithful? Fucking bitch Fucking a mod. That's always in a mod. Oh Mods are the worst Oh Man, uh jojo doe wants to know brushing your teeth for wiping your ass. You got to give up one Which one and why oh wipe my ass? Yeah Wipe your ass because you can still get in the pool or you can get wet Oh, no, I'm wiping my ass. Hmm. I'm not brushing my teeth. I'm brushing my teeth. Oh, really? You can clean your ass still though. Yeah, but your teeth like I'd give up brushing my teeth Because you could gargle you scope. Yeah, you could floss. Yeah Oh, I thought that went with it. I thought it was all in one. I said brushing teeth. I would still Be able to gargle different. All right. I was wrong. I could chew gum all day. I can admit it Yeah, I got to wipe that ass though. All right, ass, you know, ain't nothing like a long day and you getting that Shout when you rub that towel in the crack of that ass. We don't do that. You know, I got two towels I don't use two towels white people. No, you don't wipe your ass. No, we do I use enough I use enough toilet paper. What are you the loofa? No, no, just just don't your hand. I just pulled out some dangles with my hand. Yeah Bend over open your cheeks like this shower water. Yeah, sometimes Well, you guys know why I'm getting divorced. Yeah I'm just kidding Yeah, that's the kind of stories that come out though. He used to be in the shower Can't stop the bag with his cheeks open letting the water hit his butthole So I said gary if that's what you want. I'm not the person for you All right, last one JPS says which celebrity would y'all be a pet for a pet for what is that? Oh, because the rock john Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh a pet. Yeah, which celebrity would y'all be a pet for I guess what type of pet too Well, I'm I would be like I'm gonna be like a Yorkie For who? You guys can think too. You don't have to wait on me Which celebrity would I be a pet for? They're looking at me like this You guys go ahead and let me think let you process. You're like, I'm Trying to help your podcast out here. Uh Not lady gaga Yeah, her dog got kidnapped. Yeah. Yeah, definitely not that. I'm trying to think I don't know a celebrity I'd be a pet for I mean it's really just which celebrity would you want to like do things to you sexually, right? Shut up That's not there's no celebrity. I would want to be a pet for yeah There's people in the world, but they're not like so it doesn't matter. Somebody else will be raising you Yeah, maybe not those celebrities especially when they don't have kids like you really like their emotional support their comfort I don't know Yeah, I don't know. Maybe yeah, is that the last question? Maybe we do another one. All right. Yeah Serena Williams This should be in the sports probably sports thon the tv This is a good one booby jones Ask gary. We get in on this as yeah, ask gary the origin of the olive oil. I love you Joke from comic view. Oh my god. That's an old joke. I've seen like a thousand comics do it since then But we did it. We didn't we used to do in high school. So I don't know Where I came up with it or whatever, but it was just like um It's true. I I dated this deaf girl at gallaudet university in dc. Yeah, and uh What we met her at this club called tracks Because friday night and she was dancing and I was like I went up and started dancing with her Yeah, I didn't know she was deaf because she was with the beat So she wrote took me over the bar and she started writing down i'm deaf because i'm talking to her and she's not talking back I'm like, why is she talking back? She's i'm deaf and I was like, how are you dancing? She goes we come here and go to that gallaudet We can feel the vibrations because the room was small. Yeah, so I was like, oh, I said, well god, no Don't scratchin So then She would you know, we I was I was with her for a couple months and then I said I can never say I love you though I would just say olive oil Instead of I love you because it looked like it to a deaf girl. So I'm like So you was lying hurt all the time you didn't really love her I was freaking 18 bro 19 You said a precedent guy. How did you guys communicate on dates? We just like I well more I just used to go to her dorm room And just like we went and but she played volleyball and basketball and when I couldn't This is the on schedule and this sounds so insensitive. Yeah, this is when I knew I couldn't do this Was this was for cell phones before Texans So she would have to call me through this third party and the lady would be like hi I'm with the so-and-so deaf line So I would say something lady. It'd be a long pause and lady would go ha ha Ha gary Whoa, that was that's not how I want the joke to land. You know what I mean? What Yo, I was on show. Let me sit this dumb shit. Ha Ha I was such a long pause. So I go to the basketball game It's silent. You're a deaf college. You can hear the scope are going click click click click click This brother and it's like you're feeding a stereotype guy. That's whole team is white They had one black on the team. It's my father came down did like a 360 dunk. Yeah Everybody took the cups Put them up through mouth And yell next they can feel the vibration on the cup. So there's like thousand kids go And I was like this I go I'm sitting like this. What the fuck And my girl's the loudest I was like this. Oh, this is over This relationship is over What did you hit though? I don't talk about that shit. I'm not talking about it with what she sound like in bed like that with Oh, gary Owen ladies and gentlemen gary. Thank you for coming to the brewery nidia's podcast right now I'm gonna have her freaking go internet and go off Oh Man was marky mark field of vibration our favorite song back then That joint marky marky in the funky bunch weird story I was in the navy at the time around I was dating her and I ran into him at the cinciné airport He was coming in for a concert at king's island and I got yeah Got like five big black guys around him and he's so I didn't know he's that short He's in the middle. This is like 92 That was the funky bunch around him. Yeah, he was like I was like Oh I glitter yeah, I go marky mark. Yeah, idiot. You know i'm 18 19 marky mark. He gave me the whole So no, that was the one time I met him. Oh, man. Now. I do a movie kevin on netflix that I thought was the beast Yo, he said that to me early. He was like, yeah, regina hall's playing kevin harts Girlfriend in the movie beast like what is you talking about the movie with it just fighting the line I go, I fucked up. Sorry. It's another movie. I combined two movies a couple of you fucked it I go. Yeah, regina's got a movie right now the beast. She's kevin harts girlfriend. He goes She's not in the movie. It's herself in the movie. I go fuck. I'm sorry. I fucked that all up She didn't take me on netflix Gary Owen ladies and gentlemen Thank you for coming Gary As always if you think that we're smart you think we're intelligent you think we're brilliant You're absolutely right. What if you think we're just a couple idiots who don't know shit? You're right, too It's the brilliant idiots podcast. Thank you for listening