 All this book, your teacher's English at Madison High School, was as grateful as any other teacher for the Washington's birthday holiday observed last week. And far be it for me to criticize the actions of the father of our country, but I can't help wishing that he had taken more than just one day to be born. Of course, the one day off was better than nothing, but I must admit I look forward to a weekend of not speaking with considerable anticipation. If it isn't that I'm not fond of my pupils, I think they're a wonderful horde of kids. But after the events of last Thursday, I seriously considered giving up teaching and taking your course in rug patting or peanut art. It started Thursday after school. Mr. Boynton, the usually bashful biologist, displayed a surprisingly different attitude when I entered his laboratory. Hello, Mr. Boynton. Oh, hello, Miss Brooks. I was just going to come down to your room. Oh, then I'll get back there right away. I wouldn't want to miss you. Well, I guess what I have to say can be said here, all right? Although, I can't help wishing the surroundings were different. Different? Yes, this book's more romantic. Romantic? Mm-hmm. I know I haven't been the most aggressive chap in the world, but I do think of other things besides my biological experiments as things that are, well, more personal. Personal? Yes. Things that a man thinks about a woman sometimes, whether she's a fellow teacher or not. Or not? Let's move my needle or not to the right. Mr. Boynton, what is it you're trying to tell me I like to think? Well, it's just that, like I said before, I wish the surroundings were different. I wish we were in a blue lagoon somewhere with a soft breeze blowing through your hair. But we're not. I can take care of that, Mr. Boynton. Mm-hmm. Well, uh, I don't know why we have to be in a blue lagoon. I guess I just feel more confident when I'm over water. Well, hop up on this stool and I'll fill a pan. Please continue, Mr. Boynton. Well, as you know, Ms. Brooks, I've been coaching the basketball team while Mr. Haney's been ill, and we've been lucky enough to win the championship in our particular conference. Yes, I know. We've been invited to play in the state championships at Martinville. The entire squad leaves this evening. We won't be back until next week. I just want you to know that, well... Yes, Mr. Boynton. It's terribly important that we win the championship. Oh, you win it, Mr. Boynton. But what else were you going to say? Well, I'm not so sure we'll win it after all we're playing around Robin. Well, I bet you could spot him four worms and beat him easily. I know you're kidding me, Ms. Brooks, but I don't mind. You know, now that I'm leaving town, I've come to realize certain things about our relationship. At last, formal recognition that we have a relationship. Well, without getting too basic too quickly, I'd like to state that in the past, whenever the situation seems auspicious for declaring certain emotional reactions I've felt, upon finding myself in close proximity to you, that is, some outward manifestation seems to... Pardon me, Mr. Boynton. Couldn't you get a little more basic more quickly? Well, what I'm trying to say, Ms. Brooks, is that there always seems to be some sort of interruption when I want to talk to you about certain things. What kind of interruption? I see what you mean. Come in. Well, Boynton, that principle of medicine... Oh, I thought you were alone. We were for a minute. I was just saying goodbye to Mr. Boynton, Mr. Cousin. I see, Ms. Brooks, and have you finished saying goodbye? No, Mr. Conklin, we haven't. This boy's been taking brave shots. What I mean to say, sir, is that we can finish talking after you've spoken to me very well. I simply dropped in to wish you good luck with the team, Mr. Boynton. Remember, by winning the championship cup, you not only honor yourself and the athletes involved, but you bring further glory to the already hallowed name of Madison High. Glory and prestige, fame and honor... Oh, what have you bet on the game, Mr. Conklin? Just a spin. I was... No! You know I never bet. I just thought we must get that cup. Don't worry, Mr. Conklin, we've got the high-scoring forward of the conference in our team, you know? I see. And how's this boy's condition? Get the top, I trust. Well, he's six-foot-five inches tall, so his top would be hard to tip. Yes, that's a joke, sir. Thank you. By the way, Ms. Brooks, is this the boy we transferred from Miss N. Wright's English class to yours? Yes, sir. Well, tell me, how's his state of mind? What barriers of it is quite happy. Well, I know he's not a brilliant student, but now that he's in your class, Ms. Brooks, I'm sure he'll improve. From what I hear, the boy's an all-round athlete. I want him eligible for other sports during the coming term. Well, I'll do whatever I can, Mr. Conklin. Of course, it's difficult to give a test without any questions in it, but... We'll get him through all right, Mr. Conklin. Good, good. Well, I'll be running along now. Best of luck for him to bring back that cup. Let's see now. Where were we? Oh, I know. You were telling me something personal. Well, I wouldn't like to repeat myself, Ms. Brooks. Do you remember what it was I said last? Oh, how could I possibly remember what you said minutes ago? It was just something about... You'd like to state that in the past, whenever the situation seemed auspicious for declaring certain emotional reactions you felt upon finding yourself in close proximity to me, that is, some outward manifestation seemed... That's right. And then you said couldn't we get a little more basic more quickly? Right. Then you said there always seemed to be some sort of interruption when you want to talk to me about certain things. And then you said what kind of interruption? And then I wrote, whoever it is, get lost. Come in. Hi, Coach. How are you, Ms. Brooks? Hello, Walter. How are you? Fine and dandy. Good. Bye-bye, Walter. I just wanted to remind Mr. Boynton about the big deal tonight. There's going to be a post-flight parade and a snake dance. You've been there, won't you, Ms. Brooks? Yes, Walter, if I can find a snake in time. Yeah. Walter, before I go, Ms. Brooks, have you seen Stretch around anywhere? No, not to the past few hours. Well, if he shows up, please send him into the gym, will you? I want to give him exact directions so he won't get lost on his way to the bus station. Knowing Stretch, he can get lost after he's got the direction. I'll send him in to you if he shows up here. Thank you, and good day, Walter Denham. Thank you, Ms. Brooks. And may I suggest that you speed Mr. Boynton on his way with a salutation befitting the mentor of a sterling aggregation such as the Madison basketball team? Walter. Go on, Coach. I hope you're not embarrassed by Walter's influence, Ms. Brooks. If you think that would embarrass me, you need a coach, Coach. Now, let's take off for that blue lagoon, huh? I'm afraid I don't comprehend, Ms. Brooks. My hair is blowing in the breeze again. What is it you were trying to tell me before Walter came in? Well, it's just that with my leaving tonight, we won't be seeing each other at all over the weekend. I know, Mr. Boynton. Come in. Oh, it's Stretch. How are you, son? Hi, Mr. Boynton. Hello, Ms. Brooks. Hi. Well, how do you feel about our impending junket? Huh? Mr. Boynton wants to know how you feel about the trip you're taking this evening. Oh, well, I ain't going. Stretch, don't say ain't. Don't say you ain't going. What's the trouble, Stretch? You're not ill, are you? There's nothing wrong with me physically. My trouble is mostly mental. Well, don't be self-conscious. Oh, wait. What is it, Stretch? Maybe I can help you. Oh, I'm afraid you can't, Mr. Boynton. You see, it's, well, it's about a girl. A girl? You've seen them. They play on girls' softball teams. Is there anything I can do to help, Stretch? Yes, Ms. Brooks, but I'd rather talk to you alone. If it's all right with Mr. Boynton. Oh, I certainly, Stretch. I've got to get down to the gym for a few minutes anyway. Ms. Brooks, you will try to straighten them out once you know how important he is to the team. I'll do what I can, Mr. Boynton. Good. We'll see you at the snake dance tonight. Now then, Stretch, tell Teacher all about it. Well, I know I ain't good in English, Ms. Brooks. You're not good in English. I know. Ever since the first touch it gave me, I knew that I was going to improve and get the kind of marks in English that I've always strove in for. Well, I know I got a lot to learn yet, but since I met you, I feel that you're more than just a teacher, but you understand kids and that's why I come to you now. I ain't much at speeches, so I'll just say it right out, Ms. Brooks. I'm in love. In love? With what? A who? My best friend's girl, Walter Denton. People don't talk like this in any language. Stretch, are you trying to tell me that you've got a crush on Harriet Compton? Exactly. When she's in the stands rooting for the team, I play great. When she isn't, like she's not going to be where we're going to play over the weekend, I don't. So I ain't going, Ms. Brooks. Oh, now wait a minute, Stretch. Have you told Harriet how you feel about her? Oh, no. No, Walter either. I wouldn't want to hurt neither of their feelings. Just that I can't play without Harriet in the stands. Look, Stretch, I heard that they're going to show the games on television right here in Madison. That means that Harriet will be in the stands. She'll be right on the sidelines watching your every move. Honest, Ms. Brooks? May I swallow a border racer? Now, will you attend the ceremonies tonight and then leave with the rest of the team for Martinsville? Well, if you say Harriet will be there on the sidelines, I guess I'll go along. Good. I knew you wouldn't disappoint Mr. Barton and me. He was kind of counting on me, I guess. Funny thing about him, though. For a smart scientist, he's not very smart about getting someplace sometime. Right, Stretch, what do you mean? Like with you, I mean. Here you are, smart, pretty, brainy English teacher with no other attachments, and he don't do nothing about it. Stretch! Yes, Ms. Brooks? You ain't just slapping your lips, Doc. Our lips, Brooks. Sorry, he, Barton, will continue in just a moment. But first, if instead of feeling sorry for herself, Cinderella only had the good sense to listen to House Party every Monday through Friday over most of these stations, she could have had a fine time even when she was home sweeping the hearth. All that fun would have helped her household chores get done faster. And it wouldn't have hurt her one bit if she went off to that fancy dress ball with a smile either. The wonderful thing about House Party is that you can enjoy it five days a week. It's good to hear whether you're working, resting, or out driving the cars. And if you're attending a fancy dress ball at night or just spending a quiet evening at home, you'll find the high spirits that House Party gives rise to will carry right over to the evening ahead. Well, the pre-victory celebration was a huge success. A one-hour snake dance in a six-mile torch parade came off promptly at eight o'clock, and my seat came off promptly at nine. After seeing the basketball squad off of the bus depot, I immediately limped home for a nice warm bath. Mrs. Davis, my landlady, was sitting in the living room when I opened the door. Good evening, Connie. How was the snake dance? Very snakey, thanks. Did you make Mr. Boynton a fun goodbye, Connie? Yes, Mrs. Davis. What did he say? Goodbye. Oh, Batman. When is he going to open his eyes and see that? I think they're opening a little bit, Mrs. Davis. This afternoon in the laboratory, he really started to make a noise like an interested party. Oh, what happened? Nothing. I got all involved with the trials and tribulations of a star basketball player and his unrequited romance. But the weekend is upon us, and I won't have to play Dorothy Dix for a few days anyway. What are you going to do tonight, panel? I have some very elaborate plans, Mrs. Davis. Tonight I'm going to have myself a schoolteacher's B&B. Being a 16-year-old brandy? No, bath and bed. If you'll excuse me now, I'll drag my carcass into the bathroom and run a tub. Oh, you don't have to do that, Connie. I've already got the water in. I was going to bathe Minerva tonight. The cat? But cats aren't supposed to get bathed, are they? Oh, Minerva loves it. Besides, I just got to bathe her. Why, are the mice complaining? You know, she was walking near the sink this morning and slipped on the tile, poor dear. So right into some dough I was mixing for grilling. Then maybe Minerva better use the water that's in the towel. She's going to race. You run along, Connie, and take a nice race, folks. Now, who in the world can that be? Coming! Gretch, what are you doing here? Why aren't you at the bus depot? I ain't going. Again? Well, come in for a minute. Thanks, Miss Brooks. This is Mrs. Davis. You remember Strat? Of course. He's the famous quarterback on our hockey team, isn't he? No, lately he's been playing goalie for our tennis team. Could I talk to you alone, Miss Brooks? Naturally. Mrs. Davis, would you mind making a little tea? Not at all, Connie. I'd like some myself. How about you, Strat? Nice glass of milk. No thanks, Mrs. Davis. I'll bring some anyway. Nothing like milk for a growing boy. I guess you're pretty disappointed in me, Miss Brooks, but I... Hey, what's that? What's what? Right behind Mrs. Davis. There's a cake walking into the kitchen. Oh, relax, Strat. I see it too. That's just our cat Minerva. She fell into some dough. Now tell me why you're not with the team. It's Harriet, Miss Brooks. Even though she'll be seeing me play on television, I won't be able to see her. I was afraid you'd take that out. Look, Strat, I'll get you a nice picture of Harriet and send it airmail. You'll have it by game time tomorrow night. How's that? Gee, I don't know, Miss Brooks. I would like to have a picture of Harriet, but I wouldn't want anybody to know that I... Walter's my best friend. I know, Strat. You wouldn't want to hurt Walter or Harriet or either of their feelings. Believe me, I'll get the picture without anyone knowing for whom it's intended. Oh, I hate to be such a problem to you, but, well, I never mixed much with other kids outside of an athletics, I mean. And I think my name has something to do with it. Your name? You see, my real name is Baby and Snodgrass. I was little when the kids chitted me about it. I got sensitive. I see. Strat, do you have any brothers or sisters? Sure. Two sisters and one brother. And do they have peculiar names too? Oh, no. They all got perfectly normal names. It's like the other day when I was talking to my sister. Rapunzel, I said? Well, that does it. I'll go into your case more thoroughly when you get back from this trip, Strat. But right now, you've got to rejoin the team. Come along. You won't forget to send a picture, Miss Brooks. I won't forget Strat. Lots of luck and goodbye again. Rapunzel Snodgrass. There's a family for you. Oh, well, now for that bath. I better see if the water is still warm. Ooh, it's pretty cold. I better let it out and run a fresh one. Come and get your tea, honey. I'll be right there, Mrs. Davis. I'm afraid Minerva's water got a little cool. I'm running another tub for myself. Very rare here. He's a sick soul. Back to the bath depot. Wait till I close this door. Poor kid. He's hopelessly in love. Yes, I overheard. But he shouldn't worry so much about the other boy in the case. Well, when my sister, Angela, was a girl, she never went out with one boy at a time. She didn't? No, she played the field, Angela did. Well, I remember one time she went out with twins a year before she found out they were triplets. Poor Angela. The eternal quadrangle. I'd better take a look at that bath. There, nice and hot. Now to get these clothes off and... Oh, no, not another interruption. Hi, Miss Brooks. It's me. Can I come in for a minute? Yes, Wanda, but that's about all. I'm trying to take a bath. So let's also wait, Miss Brooks. What's the matter, Walter? It's Stretch. He disappeared from the station. And when last seen, he was heading in this direction. He did come here, Walter, but I sent him back down to the depot. Well, that seems like a pretty silly maneuver. But what did he come here about? He wanted some advice. He's in love, Walter. In love? Boom. Who's she? She's in love with somebody that doesn't love him, a girl who goes with another fellow. Now, what kind of a girl would go with a fellow when she could go with a star basketball player like Stretch? I can't divulge the details, Walter, but Stretch was miserable about the situation. But he's not supposed to be miserable. This is a crucial time. If he likes a girl, she should go with him and brush off this other jerk. Sir, Walter, you may hate yourself for this. Look, I've smoothed this feather and sent him back to play the game of his life. Now, you get back to the depot and don't say a word about what I told you. Well, all right, Miss Brooks, it's got Stretch's girl buffaloed. You may never see him till you start shaving. I'll divide you again, Walter Denton. Oh, let's see how this water feels now. It could be warmer. I'll let a little out and refill it. Singing in the bathtub, la-da-da-da. Singing in the tub back in, run some more water. I always thought that teaching was my only profession, but bathing can be quite a career, too. Hey, that ought to be just right. Singing in the bathtub, nothing can go wrong. I should live so long. I'm sorry to bother you, Miss Brooks, but Walter Denton disappeared from the bus depot. Have you seen him? I haven't, Miss Brooks. You say you saw Walter. Where is he now? On the way back to the bus depot. Stretch got down there before I left and when he found water gone, he was quite upset. Now everything will be all right. Sorry to trouble you, Miss Brooks. Don't talk about... He says nothing to stop me from taking that bath now. I couldn't have gotten cool in that short space of time. Let's see. Now it's exactly the right temperature. I don't have to let out a drop. Wrong again. Oh, no, it's not you again, Stretch. I'm a monster. So what do you want from me, an affidavit? What's wrong this time? When you came back to the depot, I took one look at him and then I knew. Knew what? I couldn't go to Martinville without his girl Harriet. I just can't play unless she's really in the stands. All right, Stretch. I'll do my best. Go back down to the depot and wait for me. What are you going to do, Miss Brooks? I'm going to slip on a straight jacket and run over to the consulins. I wouldn't have disturbed you this late, Mr. Consulin, but it's absolutely essential if you want Madison to win that championship. What's essential, Miss Brooks? I'm going to go to Martinville with a team. Me? Squealing, girl. I'm the manager of the team and he needs me by a side. I hardly dared to hope for it, but now I know. Walter's my life. Walter isn't the one who requested that you come along, Harriet. It was Stretch. That's probably Madison. I wish to have found it. What about Walter? Not so fast, young lady. What's this all about, Miss Brooks? Well, it's Stretch, Mr. Consulin. He'll just be in the stands and root for him. He says Madison is bound to win. There's really no harm in it. No harm in it? But Martinville is 400 miles away. The basketball team is composed entirely of boys. Boys and Mr. Boynton. Who'd chaperone my daughter? Come on, Miss Brooks. Oh, just a minute, Harriet. Oh, of course you can. It's your idea, isn't it? Wait a minute. With Mr. Boynton coaching the team, then why don't you come along, Daddy? What? Me? The principal of the school leaves Madison for a weekend? To watch our basketball team play around Robin with the best teams in the state? Well, your mother, we're leaving at once. Oh, just one thing, Mr. Consulin. Yes? You think they have a best club in Martinville? Well, I never thought when I woke up this morning that I'd be riding on the bus with you and the team tonight, Mr. Boynton. Have you ever worked out this way, Miss Brooks? I am too. Me too. Oh, driver, I'm Mr. Conklin, the principal of Madison High. Oh, how do you do, Mr. Conklin? My name's Frederick. What can I do for you? Well, I'd like to open a few of these windows if nobody minds. It's kind of stuffy in here. Yeah, it is kind of crowded in the bus. You see, we didn't expect all you extra passengers. In fact, there was one kid back at the people. I couldn't even allow on. Which kid was that, Mr. Frederick? Oh, fellow, city's name was Snodgrass. Stretch Snodgrass. Well, just as long as he wasn't an important member of the team, it's... He, Barton, as our Mr. Brooks, returns in just a moment. But first, give the world a break. Give it the smile it deserves. And while you're at it, give yourself a break too. Keep smiling to the antics of our expanded Amos and Andy Music Hall. And on the hour-long Robert Q. Lewis show. Both of these light-hearted programs come your way over most of these stations each Monday through Friday night and Saturday in the daytime too. And each of them in any number of ways is a listening delight. Amos and Andy, the Kingfish, and all of their friends, including some of the biggest names in show business, are open for business six times a week. Now at their Music Hall. And since their business is a pleasure, you'll find it a happy place to be. The Robert Q. Lewis show offers you unlimited opportunities for having a good time too. Ray Block in his orchestra to back them up. Judy Johnson and Richard Hayes in any old or news-long hit with ease and to sing. And of course, known in formal fashion, Robert Q. Lewis keeps the laugh coming with unflagging speed. So tomorrow or any Monday through Friday night and on Saturday in the daytime from now on, do your full share of the smiling. Hear the Amos and Andy Music Hall and the Robert Q. Lewis show. And when you do, get set to find the whole world smiling back at you. Now once again, here we go. And the only way I could square myself with him was to give up my feet to stretch when the bus returned to pick him up. Then I went home, got undressed and steered my stubborn little course for the bathroom. Now I can really, oh hello, Mrs. Davis. Hello, Connie. I was going to postpone Minerva's back till tomorrow, but she just couldn't wait any longer. When did you put her into the tub, Mrs. Davis? Just a minute, Connie. Well, I can't wait any longer either. Where are you going, little girl? Said the wolf to Red Riding Hood. I'll bet you're going to your grandmother's house and that's a basket of goodies you have on your arm. You lose your bet, that Red Riding Hood. In the first place, it's not a basket of goodies. It's my lunch. In the second place, I'm not going to my grandmother's house. I'm staying here. In the third place, I'm not a little girl in the first place, but a full-fledged member of the Ground Observer Corps spotting planes here on this hilltop. Incidentally, spotters are needed for all ships to help keep Uncle Sam's Defense Network operating 24 hours a day. If you have nothing better to do than jump out at people from behind trees, I suggest you might use your time more valuably by volunteering for the Ground Observer Corps yourself. Civil Defense is everybody's business. Little girls groud the wolf are getting too smart these days when he was right. It's smart to help guard your own home and community from danger from the air. Why don't you join your neighbors who are already members of GOC? Wherever you live, whatever hours you can give, there's a place for you in Operation Skywatch. CBS Radio urges you to get in touch with your local Civil Defense office for more information about the Ground Observer Corps. Our Miss Brooke, starring Eve Arden, is produced by Larry Burns, written and directed by Al Lewis with music by Wilbur Hatch. It's played by Gale Gordon. Others in tonight's cast were Jane Morgan, Dick Crenna, Gloria McMillan, Leonard Smith, and Frank Milford. Be with us again next week at the same time for another comedy episode of Our Miss Brooke.