 All right everybody day three just back from lunch everyone's excited full looking forward to dinner tonight for all you attendees Sorry, everyone out there. That's watching. Just go to the fridge and get a sandwich now coming up next We have a great treat for you guys here speaking on the three Pillars of seductive success Australia's number one attraction coach James Marshall. Good afternoon gentlemen. How are we all? The thing about the British is they're so fucking polite How are we all? That's very good. One thing I've noticed is that anywhere that was colonized by the British Empire Tends to have issues with picking up girls Have you noticed that there's very little in the way of seduction coaching going on in France and Spain and Portugal and Brazil There's there's a reason why we're not going to set up business over there because we would Be having way too much fun and be out of business real quick I'll give you an example this I was dating a a French model for some time and she had to go back to France to attend to some team and She was calling me from a public phone box We were chatting away and then I hear this scuffling noise And then there's a man's voice And I hear her speaking And I'm like what the fuck's going on and she said oh, it's it's okay A man just pushed his way into the cubicle and said you have a charming I would like to take you out on dinner and I was just there like He did what? And this is when I was like a professional pickup coach and I was thinking I was pretty cool But I've never done that has anyone else Pushed their way into a phone box to ask a girl out on a date That's pretty fucking alpha But what you'll notice is the guys there have to work way harder because the girls are used to this That's why French guys clean up when they come to places like this I think the reason why a lot of A lot of guys have a lot of trouble in this area primarily this has been touched on by other speakers Is because they don't own the fact that they have a cock They they feel a little bit ashamed about it And we're taught from a whole variety of sources to hide the fact that we have a penis I had a had a client recently said oh well if you're um If you're say dancing with a girl and you um He couldn't even say it like are you trying to tell me you're dancing with a girl and you get an erection He's like what do you do? He's like should I sort of like go like put it out like this And I said no you should pull her in by the hip and pull her in and hold your fucking cock on her on her hips He's like but then she'd know that I'm like Yeah And now she knows and it was he had this epiphany. It's like she knows that I and therefore the Makes sense Only owning your desire is is the core Of what makes you successful in this area of your life Men who are balls out get results in Australia. We have one seduction technique Uh now I do not necessarily endorse this technique because it's ugly, but it works. It's called the Aussie lean All right, so in Australia when you're fucking going out to get a route First thing you do is you go out and you get real pissed, which you guys do Tick and then you fucking watch some sport, which you guys also do And then when you get onto the chicks You just come over and you're like here you go and you just lean on her Yeah, and the force of gravity means that Eventually she she'll probably just give in because it's easier to have sex with you than to try and push a large Australian man off you Yeah Now as I said, this is this is not what I I definitely do But this works because the intent is clear It's it's ugly. It's it's brutal, but it works Whereas the polite gentleman that goes up and has a pleasant chat about topics and interests and so on Goes basically nowhere For a number of reasons which we'll get into Now when I'm teaching what is what is called natural seduction? Okay, so now I definitely was not always natural at this and this is Something a lot of guys think when they meet me because I'm very confident. I'm charismatic I know how to look people in the eye and fuck them in the brain with my eye contact That I was always that way But I definitely wasn't I'm self-taught natural and the and I've hung out with a lot of guys who are way better than me when it comes to picking up girls You know, I'm voted Australia's best dating coach and best natural Using a an election process that's similar to an African election, I guess Um, not necessarily indicative of the actual realities But I'm definitely the best dating coach when it comes to natural game Because the difference between me and some of my friends is that they don't know how or why it works And so they'll say things like What was one beautiful quote? Man Fuck whole that was that was like the entire Um description of of the the method and for a natural that's that's all it is It's because anything else that doesn't go without reality doesn't exist And anyone who doesn't understand that it's it seems very very confusing But I went through a very long and arduous process to get to the point where what I do is freeform and natural But because I was able to go through that entire process I understand the stages that all you guys are at and will be at in the future Which is the advantage in my my teaching So let me tell you a little bit about the genesis of me as as a great ladies man Um was anyone here bullied at school? You know I know you were what do they call you Sasha? Oh And look at him now. We all want to talk to him Okay, I was I was savagely bullied at school because Um, I was quite good at music classical music as a as a young man and I went to a very sporty school And my mother read a book called the right instrument for your child And uh, it was based on you know, your physique And your temperament and and then they would choose an instrument for you And this would be the right one for you apparently due to the fact that I was wave-like and nervous the flute Was the right instrument for her child Which as you all know is one of the sexiest and manliest instruments available And so I studied the flute and I became quite good at it And as a result I got beaten up a lot at school Because I didn't fucking like that because that's a poofters instrument and instruments in general poofters, but definitely the flute one is a poof instrument and so I went home to my mother and you know, I was crying because you know with my flute bent and and bruised and so on Like the guys beat me up, but she's like, you know what you should just hit them back I'm like all right. I'm gonna do that. So the the next afternoon or the next time a group of large savage Australian kids came at me. I went To one of them and then they beat me up a lot harder And so it didn't really work But what I did do then is I did seek out martial arts teachers I decided that originally I got into it because I wanted to learn how to not get beat up so much Because this knows if it ever gets broken is going to ruin my beautiful face And I kind of afford that because then I'd have to rely on my charm and um So I started doing martial arts at a young age and this along with music became my obsession And I was lucky enough to find some very very traditional Shaolin kung fu teachers in in australia believe it or not and Decided to follow that and see where it would lead me Now I'm going to be talking a little bit later about lifestyle design because I think that's an area that tends to get neglected in this field And it's one of the best ways to get laid to have awesome experiences to create opportunities in your life Is to engineer a lifestyle that is attractive because then it becomes a machine For drawing people into you It's not the only thing that you have to do you have to you do need to know how to be able to go out there Meet strangers on the street or wherever it is and draw them into your life But if you don't have an amazing life to draw them into if they're I hate to say this word high value If they're women with high self-esteem that lots of people want to be around then they want to be around guys who've got something going on yeah so Many years later I I went to china to study chinese medicine and If you want if you want to study at Shaolin temple if you want to study kung fu there You you can't just rock up. You can't just turn up and go teach me There's there's a very very strict process. You have to be at a certain point in a lineage And uh, you have to you know have worked your ass off for 10 years plus before anyone's going to accept you in there Now I was over studying chinese medicine and I decided at the end of that to just go and check out the temple I knew that it wasn't wasn't my turn or anything, but I just thought I'd go on if I can check it out So I rocked up at this place which which to me was the Which was the the most amazing place that I could ever go to So, you know, whoever your mentors are whoever your heroes are Imagine going to that place on the other side of the world and being finally there in the in the presence of these people And I rocked up And I walked around the the the temple with all the other chinese and western tourists and checking it all out and going You know one day I would love to just come back here and really fucking do this properly And then I missed the last bus out of out of that temple and so there was no way for me to stay And it was a nice summer's evening. So I decided to buy a rice mat and uh Take my bamboo flute and go and sit and meditate on the mountain and sleep the night there And I was I was walking along a chinese lady came up to me and she said, uh Kejia, how do I say I've forgotten all my chinese where it's a nice you is that all right Diana Nietzsche Where are you going? She's like, yeah, sure Hey True. All right, I'll just make up chinese words All right She said where are you going and I said i'm going to the mountain And she said no no no come and stay at my place and then she and then when we're halfway there Then she like said it's going to be very expensive, which is you know, good chinese businesswoman And um asking me what asking me what I do. I said, uh, well, I studied kung fu or actually kung fu I would love to study here with this particular teacher And she just her eyes lit up and she and I told her who my teacher was in australian. She ran off and then five minutes later Coming down the mountain was the child who Is the monk that I had always dreamed to to me And he's he's my height a huge mongolian with a massive beard and carrying a monk spade Which is this huge thing with blades on either end just like in a movie walking down the road. I'm like, oh my god It's the child And he comes up to me There had been some misunderstanding She thought that I knew someone that I well that I didn't know but that I was higher up than I was He asked who I was he looked me dead in the eyes And I said actually I'm nobody And he said what do you want? He looked me in the eyes and asked me that and in that moment I had the choice I could say well You know, I just came to check it out. Uh, so, you know, sorry for bothering you, sir and I said I want to study with you And then he looked me in the eyes held my gaze for a very long time and said ming tian wood yen tomorrow 5 a.m. And so the next morning I rocked up a channel in temple at 5 a.m And began my training with my hero The people who get success in life in whatever area are the ones who just go out and fucking take it The ones who sit back and plan and wish and dream Stay that way and you guys have seen example many examples of this Over the conference of guys often who are incredibly young who have achieved amazing things in their lives Who fast-tracked well past other people who may even be Better qualified in the area But didn't have the balls to just go out there and take it I had a very very clear dream. I wanted that more than anything else And I found myself by good karma or some circumstances or whatever it was in a situation where I had one shot And so straight away I called my teacher back in Australia and I explained look I'm being offered to train tomorrow morning with The chow and I know I'm not supposed to be here, but he's like all right. Do not fuck this up jamie You got one shot at this And so I took it and I didn't fuck it up and it changed the course of my life because what I learned there And in my subsequent visits and my all the training that I did before and after that Gave me what I Describe as the basis for my success in this area I didn't realize at the time when I was in this temple hitting rocks and meditating And swinging weapons around that I was actually learning to become an amazing ladies man But I was because I was developing the foundations Of charisma of presence of intent Of a core understanding of who I actually am And when guys talk about this in the seduction community about okay, we'll be yourself That's in some ways the best and the worst advice you can ever give somebody It's it's it's way too ambiguous to really make any sense It's like be yourself or when are you not yourself? Are you guys being yourselves right now? Something they're like, I don't know am I just getting all too existential for me We're always being ourselves, but what we're actually not being is we're not being all of ourselves And we have generally a fairly limited idea of what it is to be ourselves I always tell guys find out what else you are Because you're an infinite being with amazing potential you can try and be and do anything There are all sorts of behaviors that maybe you haven't tried yet which you can which you can try out And that's why when I got guys coming in saying well, I you know, I I like the idea of direct but that's just not me Or I like the idea of sort of letting go of the lines and sort of being more natural But I just feel like that's not really me That's bullshit. That's simply that you haven't experienced that part of yourself yet And sure there will be some things that are not you But as other speakers have said we'll test that out a few times and see where it takes you In my mind The the first thing that you must have in order to be to move towards being natural with women Is you must have presence and awareness? This is the first thing I teach guys. I Like all the all the companies we get guys in with the chicks. It's like you want to fuck chicks Come on come over here. We got chicks and then when they come in they suddenly find themselves meditating and they're like Am I is this are we getting chicks yet? I'm like patients First understand self then girl come Because if you're if you're not actually present and aware in the moment Then you cannot be natural with a girl If you're thinking ahead to the next two or three or four things that you're going to say Then you won't notice all the important things Because the way I seduce women is I I let them teach me how to seduce them every single one of them is is slightly or On a bigger level different than the other one, which is why a one size fits all linear model for seduction is never going to work It's possibly going to work for the guy who invented it With his particular type of girls, but it's not going to work in general And I'm not interested in what might work some of the time. I'm interested in The principles behind what works consistently and that's what you guys want, right? You want consistency with your results Yeah Cool I look at the there. There's there's kind of two major schools of seduction and and there's there's a lot of debate about this Okay, indirect versus direct or you know scripted versus uncanned or you know, slightly poached or whatever else and The way I see it that there's only two types. There's principle based and there's technique based yeah A technique based system and this goes for many many many other disciplines And I got this idea originally from martial arts was that A technique based system says that when A happens you do b Okay, when d happens you do e And in order to have any success you're going to have to have a continuity plan for every single eventuality And that's really really impossible to do Effectively and consistently in seduction because there's so much variation of what might happen If you have got it in your head that you need to go up with some particular line And then the girl doesn't respond in the way that she's supposed to what do you do then when I was speaking in in LA last year we had a couple of girls who were helping us with promo and During the break one of the guys came up and tried this opener and he's so he's like Hey, you look like a horse girl. Do you like horses? And and the girl says no, I don't like horses And he's like So you like horses, right? Okay, cool. So And and he tried it again the next day the exact same line. She's like are you asking me again if if I like horses? And he couldn't he couldn't enter into his head. It's like well It says in the book when I say that she says yes because all girls like horses and then therefore you can roll on with your routine But it didn't work that way and obviously didn't get the result that he was after um I had another client who lives in check republic an expat there And uh, he was doing a particular program which gave him a line Which was one of these, you know, unbreakable lines, you know, they that someone has Been working way in a laboratory for for six years and has found this line. This is the line Yeah, and that's what everyone's like waiting for. It's like it's coming. It's coming. It says on the website It's coming 48 days and counting uh This line went something along the lines of Yo girls, do you know heather? Yeah, she's a really cool chick I puked on her last summer and then we made out. Hey, let's fuck or something like this. Yeah Um Now that might work in a frat house in the states, maybe I don't know um So this guy gets it and then he translates it into check He's like, okay, you girls like no heather and then goes up to a girl on the streets of prague and tries that line Oh nasty And he was really really confused why She spat on him and then turned on on her like incredibly high heels and strutted off down the cobblestones away from his life forever Because he didn't understand What what he thought was and this is not his fault is because guys have sold the idea that the content of the line is what Is what is going to unlock the vagina, right? That somewhere within these words Is the uh is the answer and it's not true The content is is very rarely of much importance It's the the principle is underlying it But that actually make the difference Okay, so sash is a funny man. We all enjoyed his speech previously Yeah, and I've been wanting to meet him for a long time. I've been really enjoying his stuff And uh, what I was thinking about when I was when I was watching him was uh Was here's an example of a principle that we Teach at the natural lifestyles, which is the concept of pressure and release I I pump a lot of pressure onto people when I meet them girls and guys Yeah I have an ability to lock eyes with somebody and draw a lot of investment out of them It's because I'm very very demanding with the people that I'm with I demand their attention And a good comedian Does this really really well? I mean, why is it why is a what's what's a bad comedian? How do you describe a bad comedian? Yeah, he's not funny His jokes aren't any good. Yes. All right, but how do you know when someone's not a good comedian? Yeah, okay. All right a bunch of these things Yeah, really what what there is is there's the lack of tension in the room And the the easiest way to spot this is when a comedian laughs at their own jokes Which is why I hate david let him he's not funny. I don't like him at all Um, because he's so fucking smug and thinks he's so good. He's not he's not funny at all People just think he's funny because he's on that show now The reason the reason a comedian in that situation is not good is because they do not know how to hold pressure on their audience their job is to confuse Intrigue and create a build-up of tension And to be able to hold that pressure till exactly the right moment And then when it's the right moment, then they drop the punch line And if the audience hasn't been out of predictor or it's it's clever Then they get that sensation the feeling of a release of tension which they do by laughing The bad comedian steals the job of the audience, which is to laugh to to release the pressure In the same way, you'll see this there's a lot of there's a lot of crossover. You'll see this with guys who Can't can't handle pressure on themselves and can't handle putting pressure on somebody else Is that when they're in in an interaction with a girl They will be nervously laughing. They will be smiling too much They will be agreeing with everything. They will be speaking way too fast. They will be moving a whole lot And there's a whole range of of behaviors And nuances that release pressure and create pressure When I when I open I usually open with a couple of words and then I wait and see what happens Yeah, now I don't want to pick on you but the other day when I was sitting down with those girls and you came over I'll give you a little bit Feedback here of why you blew yourself out because they didn't blow you out. You blew yourself out Yeah, which is totally fine and props team because he was the only one who had the balls to come over and try and join yeah When I went over to those girls I I opened with I don't know they were cleaning up some beer cans and I said, oh, have they left you to clean up And don't write that down because it's like Uses that one All right, I was just making I was just making an observation and as I said that I sat down And then one of the girls was like looking at me all weird because like she's 19 And there's a whole range of her friends around and there's this like this old hairy dudes come and sat down next to them and um And I'm totally fine with that. I I can sit in that tension all day. It doesn't bother me at all Yeah, and so I'm sat down and there's no where I'm leaving It's going to be much easier for them to put up with me and get engaged with me Then it is to try to dislodge me And people will tend to do what's easiest Yeah, so if you make it really easy on a girl To uh to brush you aside Then she probably will If you make it harder, it's easier for her to stay and deal with you Then you're going to be able to lock in much more easily Yeah, so what you did Is by that time of the conversation we were we were quite deep into the things And you came on in and you sort of didn't quite sit down You sort of almost sat down and said oh so guys, uh, you know what's good tonight and just started Saying stuff and the girls are looking like Because it didn't look like we knew each other didn't it had there was no context. It made no sense You were you were saying stuff and they of course didn't respond straight away and so you got freaked and you left Yeah, all right, which is totally cool. You know, we've all been through this Many many times I've the amount of times I have been brucially rejected in order to get to the point where I can sit in most pressure You know is something that you guys are going to have to go through Whereas if you just come over And plonk yourself down and settle low to me. Hey man, how are you? Then you would have been able to actually chill into the set and to figure out what the dynamic was Where I was out in the conversation with it Then I could have introduced you and I could have moved it around and could have rolled fine Yeah so Being able to go up to a girl throw something out there and expect That when two strangers meet often it's it's strange. You know, it's a little bit awkward and particularly in somewhere like london where people Have their guard up You know, I've noticed that in going and chatting to girls that they're certainly not as receptive. It's say they are in sweden or in australia But that's not that's that's just a minor cultural difference. That's just them responding to the stimulus of a massive impersonal city At the heart of it. They're still women. They still like men They still want to meet new and interesting and sexy men And you just need to allow for the slight variations in the way that they're going to respond so What I'll do is I'll just throw out a couple of words and then I shut the fuck up And see how she responds because sometimes when you go up and I say something like that. Oh, they left you to clean off They may have just opened immediately. Oh, yeah, no, blah, blah, blah. You know, we're always the ones left behind In which case I would have been able to adjust to the energy of the situation and bring it up to where it was But instead if I'd gone in with some long convoluted opener about horses and puking on girls and stuff like that Firstly they don't hear half of it because they're just still reeling from the fact that strangers come up to them And secondly, I'm not actually Taking an opportunity to gauge where they're at what energy they're at What what their mindset is at that time how open they are and receptive they are to be being talked to So instead I wait and I see the girl go like this Okay Now get used to this I actually I actually much prefer dealing with a girl who's who throws attitude at me straight away than I do dealing with A really pleasant nice girl Because if someone who's really really friendly to everybody Um, there's not much to lean against there's not not so much you can create tension off Whereas a girl who gives a little bit of attitude. I I enjoy that So in that situation she went like this And I said, oh this doesn't happen often does it? And again, I just wait and I am deliberately ambiguous with what I'm saying Because I want her to question me and to come out of a shell If there's if there's awkwardness between two people My definition of awkwardness is two people pretending something's not awkward Yeah, you know, you've been in that situation say you're you've gone to a party You both uh, you know the host, but you don't know anyone else you go up and say hey man. How you going? He's like, hey, yeah Hey, this is my friend and then he leaves you with some other dude And you're like standing there like hey, so man, how do you know the host? Yep. Cool. And um And what do you do? Yeah, all right. You're in a field that I know nothing about and cannot have not at all about yeah, awesome and both of you are dying inside and You know trying to be print friendly and polite and feeling this negative tension because there are different types of tension The easiest way to get over that in any social situation is just to call it out Yeah, things getting a little bit awkward just say is it getting awkward in here? Is it just me? Because immediately what that does is it releases the tension Because then We don't have to play the game anymore. There's no more expectation of us pretending to be something We're not or pretending to enjoy a situation that we don't like or whatever else it is Yeah, so that's one thing you can you can do if you go up to a girl and it is awkward That's totally fine because when strangers meet there is this there is often a period of cloudy kind of awkwardness Which if you sit in it And allow it to be what it is or you just call it out It'll dissipate and then you can move on to being relaxed and normal What I want to talk to you guys primarily today about is Is three aspects that I that I coach guys on three huge They're massive areas and I run a 12 week 80 hour course on this So I can't go through all of it obviously, but I want to touch on each of these areas Because if you only learn and they are okay, so the nuts and bolts of seduction and in my case What I'm teaching is natural style of seduction internal change Which includes confidence charisma state control Mindset beliefs whole range of things and then lifestyle design Which is your ability to and this includes your career your health the way that you dress The interests that you have the people you have around you and your mission in life is the primary thing Because if you don't focus on all of these three things you'll be very lopsided human being If you only focus on seduction and I know this because I did this I Reached point where I had an incredibly interesting life You know I was a musician. I was a martial artist. I was a massage therapist I had a whole range of of friends in all sorts of social areas because I'd spent most of my time building my lifestyle and When I got into seduction I got into a fucking hardcore and I was with three other guys who were All very very good naturals and we trained each other And that's all we did, you know for money all I did was I massaged like one or two people a day We used to seduce rich girls so that we could eat and That's pretty much all we did And what I found was that after about a year of this I was I was dating a girl who I'd been seeing in a in an open relationship for about a year Who was a fucking really cool girl and she came to me one day and she said, uh, jamie, uh, you're dumped I said, but we're in an open relationship. You can't really dump me. Can you? And she said, well, whatever it is. We're not having sex anymore And I always like to interview people like if I get blown out from a set I'll go back to the girl and say Before I before I leave your life forever I was wondering if you just might be able to give me a little bit of honest feedback and please make sure it's honest I don't I won't be offended. Just tell me what, uh, what made you what repulsed you And uh, this is this can be a really cool thing to do If you guys go into a set and doesn't work Just go back and ask her to give you some feedback Often they won't they'll just say, I don't know But if you reach but if you meet a switched on on a girl she'll just tell you Yeah When you came up to me you stood way too close and you smell a bit funny And you asked me a weird question about a horse. I didn't like any of that And I'm like, all right. Take note So same thing when you're in this situation I was being I was being dumped and I was like, all right Well that that stings Do you want to tell me why she's like, yeah, of course When I met you you're an incredibly interesting person You were focusing on spiritual development as well as being, you know into music and and travel on all this interesting stuff And you know, I she was she was working with us in the company. She she had no issue with it She said, you know, I support what you guys do. I think it's really interesting I think guys need to learn this stuff But all you guys do every day all day is think talk and do game and it's just fucking boring And that's why I'm done here because you become boring And that's the only thing that ever hurts me like That's uh, that's a real insult to me. I don't mind being called a fucking cunt If it's appropriate, but I do mind being called boring And so I took that on board because it was really important because I had focused all my energy For a long period of time on seduction and I got very very good at it And I could get very consistent results But I'd done it to the detriment of my lifestyle and to my health And of keeping my friendships with people and my My family life and all that stuff as well There was another point in my life where I was very deeply into spirituality into self-development Um building myself up from the core and I I remember I used to have a job as a bouncer at a bar And uh, I love that job because I got to stand there and meditate all day Um, I would sometimes accidentally let 12 year olds into the bar because I wasn't focusing on the other part of the job Which is stopping young people going into the bar Um During that time. I didn't really have a social life so much. I was quite austere and stoic person and uh I was very at ease with myself. I was very comfortable. I was very confident, but I wasn't putting myself out there Yeah, so just working on that is not going to uh, is not going to fix everything yet as either There was also another time in my life where I was primarily a musician and Being a musician, even if you're playing like jazz flute Uh, is a good way to meet girls for sure. There's a reason why skinny guys start bands. There's nothing to do with music and um So there was a time where the only way that I met girls was like getting up playing a gig and then when a girl went Like this to me, I'd walk over and go. Hi. Did you like my gig? And then she might kiss me and that was kind of my game And I reached a point where I realized that I was scared shitless of ever losing that like if I didn't have a band, what would I be? Yeah, if I didn't have an unknown australian band that was never going to get famous, who would I be? and um So just engineering engineering a lifestyle just to get girls was also not the thing that was going to Make me feel at ease overall When you combine these three aspects and you're working on them At at even levels then your results go through the roof And there is something to be said for a different period you need to become reasonably obsessed about something Okay, there's going to be points in life when you guys are if you're studying you have to just buckle down and study And your social life may suffer for a while Um there will be times where as you guys are now focusing over these last four four days You put everything else aside and come here and go on. All right. I really want to get this area of my life sorted I've come to source the the experts in the field. We'll just you know drop everything else And we'll wear the same underpants for four days and deal with the washing on monday That's what i'm doing Uh the pity the girl i'm going on a date with tonight Oh, I laughed at my own joke. See not funny anymore Bad Hey She'll love it. She will learn to like it Okay So what I want to do is I want to give you guys some some Concepts as well as some very practical tools Uh on each of these areas That we can go through so they're things that you can think about because I think it's really important to look at All of this stuff from a macro and a micro level at once If we get two into our head and two into the like a existential esoteric meaning of it all then it becomes just sort of Pontification but you do need to look at the bigger picture and asking yourself questions like why the fuck are you doing this And what is the outcome that you are really after and is it your outcome? Or is it an outcome that somebody has sold to you Is really important to do and it's important to check in on that At various points along the way because what you actually want is going to change over time When you first get in this I know when I first got in it. It was kind of to get revenge against the cool chicks at school Yeah, if i'm honest with myself, that was really why I was doing it Because they made my life miserable the cool guys got the chicks. Fuck you i'm gonna Fuck you all and then I'll feel good about myself Which is was not a great motivation, but that was my motivation to start with and over time that shifted to okay I want to push my limits. I want to understand myself as a man. I want to engage with more interesting beautiful challenging women And then that kept on shifting So I encourage you guys to to step back fairly regularly and look at what is the big picture of this Are you still on track heading towards your actual goals? At the same time as we have the same time we need to look down at the micro level to the actual practicalities of how to do this So the first one I guess they call it in a game internal change self-actualization Whatever you want to call it Crazy voodoo. I don't know whatever The key in the core is awareness now right now. I want you guys to all become suddenly aware of your ass on the seat Can you feel your ass? Were you aware of that eight seconds previous? You facade was like I'm always aware of my ass The reason the reason that guys get anxiety when they're approaching women and Frederick touched on this last night Which I thought was really good is that They're placing a particular type of meaning on something that it's actually has no has no meaning to it So when you guys See the girl we have an external stimulus that comes into us, which is like breasts and hair have arrived We have an immediate physical reaction to that Now firstly, it's it's a sense of okay attraction and arousal Then if you have been into this for any length of time you have that feeling that you must act on this and you've got to do something And then following that comes a whole range of ideas about what if you did do that And then you start playing all these really fucked up movies in your head about You know imagining the worst possible scenario that's ever going to happen And with with great conviction to the point where you believe that's the actual truth Okay, so you see the girl she's really hot and you're like Oh, she's going to be really fucking nasty. She's going to be a lesbian. She hates man I look like her ex-boyfriend who beat her up and uh, she's going to slap me and pour a beer on my head and Stem on my testicles Yeah, or something along those lines And then this this this thought pattern then feeds back into physiology Which then starts letting off all sorts of weird chemicals and you start to feel all these physical sensations Creates this feedback loop that actually sets you off into a fight and flight reflex And when we're in fight or flight In in in this situation What do we do? We either disassociate our mind Which is where we basically zone out and blank out which is why guys often just feel like they have nothing to say Yeah, they literally have nothing to say when you guys are sitting with your best friends Do we ever run out of things to say? No And guys that come to me and say look, I just you know, my mid game is fucked up I need more material in there because I need you know need more comfort techniques That's not true because you guys feel perfectly comfortable talking with a whole range of people You're quite happy sitting in silence sometimes or chatting And the reason that you're you're comfortable is you guys have shared language. You understand each other And there's no particular consequences about talking or not talking But in the situation where your adrenaline is pumping and your fight or flight has gone off It shuts down the higher functioning as your brain the creative aspects the spontaneous aspects Uh, and just gets you down to like get the fuck out of here Which is generally what we do we make excuses about why we're not going to approach it, you know I love this one. It's like We're just having a guys night. Yeah, I think you know tonight. Fuck the chicks. It's just about me Me mate the beer the sport That's all I need Any or there's not enough hot chicks here or whatever excuse it is that comes up in your head One thing you can do is any any excuse that comes up. She's probably this She's probably got a boyfriend. She probably doesn't speak English. She probably hates me I always just say let's find out And go and find out that's that's your mission is to go and find out if that excuse is correct or not Because that giving yourself that mission will actually short circuit the the issue that you're having with it anyway So and as as Frederick mentioned yesterday When you have you know two people standing on the edge of uh, an aeroplane about to jump out Let's presume that they want to be there and they paid somebody to be there and they got a parachute then The feeling of excitement and the feeling of abject terror On a physical level is more or less the same If you look at actually what's happening on the sensation level, it's the same thing The difference is the meaning that we've ascribed to the sensation So the best way that I've found to get over your approach anxiety is to To cut out the the level where you put any meaning on it And to experience it for what it actually is So I do a lot of infield coaching as all the coaches here do and Commonly come up against guys who are in a situation where they're like, I've got a man. I'm I've got anxiety Look, let's just forget it. You can keep the money. I don't want I just decided that this is not for me women not for me Um, and so I'll just hold them for a second. I'll say, okay What do you feel and where is it and I'll say anxiety fear? Now that is not a feeling that is a judgment placed on a feeling And I'll say no Where do you feel this fear like I just feel fear. Okay, but it exists somewhere within your body That's that's the only place it can exist is within your within the physical framework So if you actually check in with yourself physically and with awareness scan through your body You'll find the point of the fear often. It's the tightness in your in your throat Uh tension in your chest like kind of wobbly feeling in your legs butterflies in your stomach or whatever it is And if you actually scan through and check for the location You'll find that there is a gross sensation somewhere And then I get the guys to describe it In purely objective terms and again when I say this okay describe it its fear its trepidation It's it's its anxiety again. These are judgments and I just what does the sensation feel like and if you start to describe that you'll see Okay, it's a pulsing sensation. It's uh, you know a lightness a heaviness It's heat It's numbness whatever it is and when you actually get into it then you can see this is what my anxiety was All it is is a physical reaction to a set of external stimulus And when you sit with it What I mean present with your with your presence with your mind It actually starts to untangle that reaction Because there's only really one time that you can change the habits that you have When is that and you have to shout for the tv man Now when now Okay, it's it's when it's when the the habit or the the behavior that you have Is that it's peak it's when you're experiencing it Which is why I think it's okay to to listen to hypnotic stuff about you know You're always feeling calm and you love everything and there is no anxiety and all that kind of stuff. It's fine But the time when you're really going to get over your approach anxiety is when it arises and when you When it when it's at its peak and you step through it and you observe it for simply all that all that it is Then it starts to untangle and starts to lose the power at the same time you get the reference experience Of having stepped through it and not dying or not having anything bad happen to you Because the problem a lot of guys have is they actually reinforce the pain constantly of the approach Because the thing that's painful is the anticipation, right? It's like going to the gym when you're in the gym Not that i'm obviously in the gym very much, but I have been once and when I was there it was fine uh What was not fine Is the feeling of like oh shit. I got to go to the gym and starting to make excuses Any kind of procrastination creates a whole lot of pain in your life And in this situation it creates more and more pain because It's something you want so badly And it is definitive of you as a man if you're not successful with women in whatever terms that means for you your life will be miserable That's that's a you know important thing to to note Unless you can get the type of woman that you would like into your life. You won't be happy no matter what So it's serious Yet what guys do is they get to almost the point of breaking through those little barriers Where it's where where the intensity of the of the the pain or the anxiety reaches its peak And then just before they're about to break through it. They back off from it And so they just practice this the horrible bit just before they're they're getting into their interactions Or when they're in their heads, you know thinking about getting in the interactions And so then they start to layer more and more pain around this this whole concept to the point where often they just give up Which is which is a really sad thing you see guys come into this and they have the potential to access some of the best The best knowledge that there is around And and a lot of guys out there have no no idea about this and never will find out about it They won't be lucky enough to Yet they kind of squander that opportunity So on a very very simple and practical level, this is what I want you guys to do When you see the girl Bring your mind and your attention to the soles of your feet This is a really simple thing to do because it's quite there's always There's usually you'll feel more heat in your feet. You feel the weight of your body And what this does on a practical level is it takes you out of your head And you're you're always being told get out of your head, right? And the only way to get out of your head is to expand your awareness through your body and out into the into the environment around you Awareness is is the primary key to being relaxed and comfortable if I wasn't aware of myself right now I'd probably be starting to do this kind of stuff Yeah, and then you guys would think what? What would you think about me? That's right. Yeah You think i'm boring Okay, and I actually just doing that for like five seconds made me feel a bit funny Because your your physical reality affects your Your internal state and vice versa. There's a reason why that when the chinese police catch criminals they get them to stand like this yeah Because that's the most submissive position you can put somebody in and they feel like shit. They're not going to go anywhere all right If you stand tall and you and you move with purpose Then it starts to affect your internal state But the only way to do that because I do a lot of work with guys and posture and body language when I first started out I tried to just kind of clonk them into place You know like okay You stand up like put your hips in and then like you know lift the heads up And you know stick your chest out and they sort of end up like kind of this Which is like sort of not right at all The way to the way to actually get really really good posture and body language is to Understand on a physical level what that really really feels like so you have to get out of your head into your body So when I see the girl what I do is I project intent which I'll talk about in a moment and then I check I bring my attention into my feet and I trust and I move I don't have no idea what I'm going to say But I just as I walk I'm like in my feet And so when I do open it's inevitably much more relaxed more slow And calmer than if I'm trying to think of the perfect thing to say in that moment And I would agree with what sasha said earlier just say whatever's on your mind Yeah, but don't stay too long in your mind don't think about what's in your mind very long There'll be a little spark of an idea and then bring your attention into your feet And you will have presence Because in my mind that's what charisma is I I tend to have a profound effect on people when I meet them It's not because I'm like I don't know some the second coming or anything like that It's just because I know myself and I'm right here right now And so when I engage with somebody they feel like I'm really am there with them And that's what I that's what everyone wants right Is to feel like someone Uh that they are significant that they're taking up space in this world that they matter And a woman wants that from a man. That's the that's the sexiest thing she can feel Is to feel truly desired and wanted Uh and understood Last year when we were we were in la for the pua summit and we were told uh your natural shit's gonna not work in la It's just not gonna work because over there you got to have value man You got to have value and I I really hate the idea The way that the idea of value has been presented in the seduction community is really misleading Um someone was outside talking to me earlier. Sorry. I can't remember who and We're talking about um What were you talking about? I can't remember we're talking about something and he said oh that's so when you do that When you say that with authority it it raises your value And I didn't even know what he meant. I think the idea of raising and lowering value Is is something that will really fuck guys up in this in this situation because You're constantly thinking well, hang on. Did I get three more value points? Have I dropped her value a bit? You know, are we gonna kind of like see sort of value? That means nothing to me. I'm a valuable person. Everyone's fucking valuable We are of value when we act like we are valuable What's much more important than You know trying to make essentially that's like trying to make you seem more important than she is That's that's what we're trying to that's that's the basis behind our idea What's much more important than value is emotional impact Is the way is the impact that you have on someone And at an emotional core when you meet them or when you interact with them Because when we were in LA we were told, you know, the girls there are going to ask you are you a producer? do you drive a big shiny car with expensive stuff on it and uh, you know, I don't even drive and um, I certainly don't produce anything Um, you know, we were living on a shoestring as we always are Myself and my my coaches and we thought oh well, I guess we won't get laid in LA then if that's the way it is I remember we were in a bar and I'm talking to a girl And I said oh my name is James and she shakes my hand and looks away And I said excuse me if you want to say hello to me just look me in the eyes, please or don't say hello And snaps out of it in this moment and says I'm I'm really sorry. It's just so much bullshit here Yeah, now Then we had a very very real and deep uh interaction Because in a town like that where everything is plastic where people are full of shit a lot Uh, and are trying to constantly prove their value And if they don't have it trying to you know lie about it or insinuate that they have more value Which is the basis of where a lot of the early seduction systems were built in that city for that very reason To try and fight at their level against their rules And you'll always lose if you try and play the value game because there's always someone richer and faster and more producing than you are And i'm not interested in in fighting on somebody else's turns when girls would ask me what kind of car do you drive? I said I don't drive as if like why would I need to drive And then that just totally fucks up their value system There's nothing from there's nothing for them to judge me on because I don't even have a car I don't know how to drive. It's irrelevant. So tell me some more about you. What are you really into? It's the it's the intensity of the emotional impact that you have on somebody That is going to determine What they want to do with you in their in their life Which brings me to my second major point in terms of internal change, which is your intent You cannot have intent without awareness because if you aren't aware of yourself, you don't you can't project a clear intent But let's presume that you do Have an awareness of yourself your physicality the way your emotions are working and you can just sit with it Without putting any subjective judgments on it just allow it to be what it is Then what you need to do is you need to project something out into the world Now when we're looking at women what we need to be projecting at the core is that I want to fuck you Anything else is a lie Unless unless you really actually don't want to have sex with you and you want to you think she's A nice slightly unattractive person you want to be friends with her don't project I want to fuck you because that'll confuse it Because the problem is a lot of who here considers themselves maybe to be a nice guy Like that they've they've been told they've been a nice guy Isn't that suck when the girl says you're really nice guy because you know what's going to happen next Yeah, no one ever says you're a really nice guy and like you to throat fuck me They never say that Do they What what I would say is that nice guys are liars actually And they're not doing it necessarily out of out of a need to be nice and wanting to please people and make people's lives better They're doing it as a behavioral strategy To try and get what they want Because that's what they've practiced Okay, so if they if they're nice enough to somebody then uh, she will Hopefully see your charms at some point And you know maybe decide that she wants to breed with you it doesn't really happen like that The Aussie lean is way more effective because it the intent is clear. I want to have sex with you or I want to pass out Yeah So what you can guys can do is practice this and I've been doing this all around london It's really funny because people don't make a lot of eye contact here But I make people make eye contact with me because when I'm walking down the street I'm standing tall and like a laser beam. I'm just seeking out eyeballs everywhere I'm trying to avoid the men's ones sometimes it gets mixed up gets confusing But I'm mainly going for the girls And as I'm walking along I'm just looking them dead in one eye Because you can't look at both eyes at once try it's it's weird Okay, so you pick one eye and you just project think feel and project I want to fuck you. I think you're hot You're awesome. You're confident. You're cheeky Or any variation on that And what you do what you'll notice is when you start doing that walking down the street The world changes girls start looking you it in a very different way And often you'll just get all sorts of invitations because you walk past and look at the eyes like I want to fuck And she just look and stand in she's like And and there's your approach invitation Yeah So when I when I see a girl and I'm going to approach her that's the first thing I do I check in awareness project my intent Um, I'm unashamedly showing her that I'm a man that I want to sex with her I don't necessarily always go up and verbally state this because in my mind Often that can just release pressure Because when you go up and you say You're smoking hot. I think you you know, whatever a direct opener. Yeah, it's bold It has an emotional impact But at the same time it can mean to she can interpret that as well. Oh, that's that's nice, but I can have him Yeah I'd kind of more I I tend to like to simmer my seductions and sometimes over long periods of time because I enjoy that The drawn out I enjoy the dance of the seduction as much as I do is having sex with a girl Um, and so I will deliberately Leverage the pressure and the release on this But the intent is always clear because even if I'm speaking about something innocuous At the heart of it My intent is showing her that yes, this is about sex and nothing else Well, no, not nothing else, but that's the core of it Okay, I'm running out of time So I want to blaze through a couple of practical aspects for you Now let's just talk quickly now about external game if we look at the idea of qualifying because qualifying is is Sort of misunderstood a lot of guys think that you ask qualifying question Which is like, um, you know, what's cool about you? And the girl says I'm an artist and they go cool qualified Yeah, it doesn't that doesn't work. That's not qualification at all To qualify somebody they have to firstly give a fuck about the person that's qualifying them And there needs to be pressure on the person they need to feel like they have to invest That's the point of qualifying Is that when you ask the question the qualifying question? I don't care what answer she gives me unless she gives me an amazing answer and invests heaps Um, it's not good enough That that's my that's my the principle behind it. So I might say What do you like which is one of my favorite qualifying questions? What do you like because it's ambiguous? Um, it could mean anything And the girl will often say that's a hard question. Then you say no, it's not you just tell me what you like And then if the hoop's too big I can make it smaller in bed You know cooking I don't know travel. Do you like to be tied up? Give me something And what I'll do then is I'll hold intense pressure on her I'll just look her in the eyes because I'm quite happy to sit there for a long period of time And she will fill that gap So I have a very simple formula you guys can use qcq question challenge qualify So we pick a qualifying question Steve's over there like giving me some kind of like a roman emperor thing Yeah Okay, so we pick a qualifying question can mean anything and one thing to keep in mind is you do not need to Qualify only on core values because if you go up into a club and go up to a girl You know, you project the intent you just walk up there and you're like, what is it in life that is most important to you? That that's a really strange thing to do Yeah, whereas I was in a club in Germany the other week and I did exactly that saw the girl And pulled her in and said who the fuck are you? Is a qualifying question And she's like I'm some kind of girl and I said you are and we made out Yeah It was a microcosm of the qcq formula Whereas if I'm sitting in the park with a girl and I say what's what's really important to you right now Totally appropriate makes sense. So the other thing is you can qualify and totally flip and shit You can say to a girl Are you an early riser? Hang on. What's the other one? Do you go to bed late or you're an early riser? Do you like stripes of polka dots? It can be anything. It doesn't matter because the point is to create pressure If I say do you like stripes of polka dots and I hold the pressure. She's thinking. I don't know which one's right Uh stripes and then the c in this formula is the challenge. I will always challenge her on answer really I'm holding a pressure on and she's like Stripes no polka dots definitely polka dots When I've applied that pressure on to her And she's invested and give me what I want what I've created is an emotional impact emotional spike in that moment That's the only point of the qualifying framework And then I won't leave it because if you only challenge her really and she's like polka dots, you know Fuck you Then it's just you be an asshole Then you need to release the pressure and award her for Uh doing what you want which then of course also trains her to uh have good feelings every time she does something for you Yeah, which is a bit nasty, but that's a bit tricky, but it works Yeah So then I go Awesome I'm a stripe man myself or actually I'm a polka dot man, but I need someone to you know juxtapose me. All right, let's go Either way, it doesn't matter. So if I qualify her on something important, all right, what are you famous for? And she said, um, well, I'm a dancer That's not good enough Are you any good? Well, what's that about did you choose to do that or did somebody pick that for you and I just hold pressure You need to be able to challenge people And I do this all the time with guys as well last year at the poa summit guy came up to me after the talk and said Man, I really liked your talk and I said, what did you like about it? I don't do not doing that to be an asshole I'm doing that because that gives him a chance to engage deeply with what actually because if I just said thanks, man Uh, so what I want to make sure he's got it. He's like and he's hold the pressure She's like, oh the guru is looking at me funny. Um, and then he goes The thing that you were talking about about intent really resonated with me and actually changed my perspective on game completely I'm like, fuck. Yes. Excellent Yeah, when you challenge people You're actually doing them and you are favor Being so fucking polite Actually means that you don't actually have real connections with people Trying to trying to make sure that the boat is never rocked Uh Means that you just sail past each other. You don't you don't actually make clear connections I'm about in the intensity of the relationships that I have with people. That's why a girl that I sleep with once Uh in a in a country and it's one thing It's really easy to have 10 girlfriends in 10 countries much easier than 10 girlfriends in one country You guys should keep that in mind An easy jet seriously dudes. Why are you spending your weekends here? I'm serious if you're spending, you know 100 pounds getting pissed in london Why not spend that on a cheap flight over to fucking budapest Where you can live like a king and meet much much hotter women and have awesome sex with them and then set up a girl in every city Come on. Let's think bigger here This is lifestyle design You want to be able to have friends and lovers and interesting experiences waiting for you all around the world I I do it from australia, you know, I put in the effort you guys. It's not not an effort at all Get out there and explore this world It's much bigger than this one city than your one social scene Which brings me very very briefly to lifestyle design, which is a massive topic. I can't get too far into it but What I want you guys to think about is what is the ideal lifestyle and who are the people in it that you want to have And think big And you should sit down and have a think about this. I get I get guys to do a social inventory write three columns Facebook friends contenders in a circle And list every single person that you know within those three categories What I mean by Facebook friends is people that are acquaintances that you know the name of Contenders are people who've come into your life that you share some commonalities with that You would like to continue something with but you haven't got a really solid connection and you're in a circle Which is generally fairly small and static other people that you can always rely on These are your long-term friends and your family your ex-girlfriends if you treated them well and so on What you want to do to create an amazing lifestyle Is you cannot your acquaintances come and go and they're only they're not uh, they're not actually going to help you much in life You need to get people into this middle column Where they care about you and you care about them now How do you make a deep connection or how do you make a deep alliance with somebody? I'll answer it rhetorically You do this by creating debts and favors between you You guys have all had those friends where you um You know, maybe you work together on a Friday night You go out and you have a beer and then when you shift jobs you never see that person again You got no real connection because you made no investment and they made no investment in return When I want to make a a deep connection with somebody I meet someone I do one of four things I ask I offer I trade or I collaborate Yeah I will deliberately put myself in debt to somebody I'll go and ask a favor Out of them and then I'll make sure that I pay them back Because that this trade and I call this the seductive economy, which is a much bigger topic But we touch on it is what creates links between people If I was to walk up to one of you guys now, I don't have any money in my pocket So I can't do it and said here's 10 pounds Most people wouldn't take it They were like, oh, what is that? Because nothing's free We're suspicious of people trying to give stuff for free Whereas if I went up and said if you go like this I'll give you 10 pounds You'd be like that's stupid, but that's a fair deal. I'll do that. That's worth two seconds of my time And it would make sense all right So what I'm always often doing with with the people that I really want to connect with Is I'm asking favors for them or I'm giving them something and then demanding something in return And I do this in seduction all the time Yeah, if a girl ever comes and asks me for a cigarette. I say what tricks have you got? Let's let's do a deal And I don't care what it is whether and often it'll and they can't think anything I said, all right, give me a sexy dance and they will Yeah, and then I'm not that idiot that's just giving stuff away the girl comes and says if she ever says I'll shoot You want to buy me a drink? I said Maybe what do you what are you trading on? What do we got here? Can you moonwalk? Can you knit? Can you cook? What's it worth? Because when you trade with someone it creates respect and trust When you give stuff away for free all the time Then it lowers your value You know people don't respect That's why nice guys Are actually creepy because they're always giving stuff away for free. They're giving their time. They give being a shoulder to cry on They are you know buying girls stuff or whatever else it is Not asking anything return, but really The girl knows she's accruing a debt that he's saving up for a time where he's going to kind of sneakly go Actually, I wrote you this poem. I've been in love with you for four years Yeah That's actually creepy and it's it's a lie. Whereas the the out and proud ozzy leaner it comes in and goes This is all about the root is is quite clear about what the trade is yeah So what I suggest to you guys is that in your interactions with girl and with girls and with people in general Is that you you trade with them? Yeah, you have to expect stuff out of people in return for what you give And you need to do that on a personal level to value your own time who you are And I'm not saying be mercenary about it You know like working out every cent on a coffee with somebody or anything like that Keep in mind. There are multiple currencies being traded at all times in your lifestyle. You need to be able to trade different things There's a guy here who's putting up putting me up for the week It costs him zero. He's got a couch. I get sleep on it That doesn't cost him anything But for me that's really valuable because that saves me a hundred pounds a night having to be in a small expensive London hotel And I get the experience of hanging out in a house in London, which is more fun than being in a hotel So I owe him and I know that Yeah What you want to get to the point of is if you if you want to have an amazing lifestyle Is you want to have a currency that's worth a lot to other people and cheap for you to give away So in that in the situation, I suggest that you guys do trade on stuff. That's easy to give away Just throw it out there And then expect stuff back in return Because then I come home after this and I'll sit down with him and I'll give him some fucking amazing seduction advice Which is worth which is cheap for me to give away But very very valuable for him and in that way we've become friends and we bond because we took a risk on each other So what I want you guys to do is think about what is your ideal lifestyle? Do you know these people and if not take step back a notch and go who knows these people? You guys want to hang out with models and have sex with them? Maybe some people do let's say You don't know any models Who do you know that knows models? Who knows models photographers makeup artists promoters Um all sorts of people and then you can target these people if you don't know them Then you step back another level and you start targeting them And you may think well, what have I got to offer these people at the end of the day the thing That's worth the most the currency that's most valued on this planet is human emotion and the exchange of it If you can look somebody clearly in the eye If you can ask them how they feel about stuff, what's really important to them You can engage with them on the emotional level Then they love you then they want to be around you then they respect you You do this with women, which is why I mean so many guys stay on details, right? They ask detailed questions any time you're collecting facts in a conversation with a girl. It's bad If you're learning something is bad All right, how many how long This kind of thing When I sat down with those girls the other day I said, okay, so you guys are studying They're like yeah, and they're getting ready for me to say And what are you studying and what year are you in and all and detail detail and I said are you guys good students? Do you procrastinate you're lazy And they're like what because I'm immediately taking the topic which is the study And getting down to how they relate to the topic in terms of who they are as a person That's what I'm always doing when I'm picking a topic If I'm if I've had a long conversation about the topic the third person topic then that's not a good interaction I only ever use the topic as a bouncing off point to find out about what kind of person they are So whenever you ask ask a question about a topic, it's fine. You can ask a question about an all topic You can ask what do you do? I don't like to but you can And she says I'm an accountant or whatever. She says I'm in I'm in advertising I'll immediately say Do you love it or are you doing it for the money? Or something like that And then she says yeah, I'm doing it for the money like you cold-hearted bitch. All right awesome So when you have all that money, how are you going to spend it? The the the job was only ever a doorway to me to find out about how she operates as a person Yeah Okay, so I want to I want to open it up for questions in a moment But I want you guys to just Keep these key points in mind. It starts with awareness. Put your mind in your feet When whenever the excuses come up any of this stuff that's going on buzzing around your head You can't think your way out of it. Don't try to just Allow yourself to feel what's going on with your body and anytime those words of judgment come up Change them to just descriptive words. What does it actually feel like without without a judgmental meaning on top of it? Project your intent whenever you see the girl because the the approach starts well before Is she often before she's even seen you? Yeah, it's certainly well before you've opened your mouth because if you're Thinking about it and you haven't figured out your intent by the time you get up to her She's felt that negative pressure and people want to get away from weirdness and awkwardness Yeah, whereas if it's like Feel my feet want to fuck you and i'm walking up and i'm just feeling and present That's when magic really happens. That's where you have those moving moments where the girl's like What is that because they don't get to feel that very often. They don't get to feel men coming up with that kind of presence It's not it's not so difficult to do. It's actually It's actually much simpler than trying to have some convoluted game plan When you get into your conversations, make sure you're challenging her on many levels and i don't mean being a dickhead about it Don't just uh, yeah, whatever. Oh, yeah, don't stack challenges And a challenge can be anything from a raised eyebrow. So she gives you an answer you're like Or just silence because when you hold silence people tend to fill it Through to a really simple and soft challenge like why? Well, what's that? Tell me more about that. What's behind that? you'll have to explain Through right through to if you've got a girl with heavy attitude And you're like, what's cool about you? She's like i'm a dominatrix. I could beat the shit out of you I'm like, fuck you. You're lying. Don't mess with me I will need to challenge her on that level Yeah, because if I do a soft challenge on her it's not going to work there Whereas if I do that to the nice girl, I'm like, what's interesting about you. It's like I like dancing. Fuck you. You're lying She's gonna she's just gonna cry, all right That's why I use a lot of silence. I don't speak very much I'm a very low energy seducer and a lot of guys who get into this are introverted and low energy and that's totally fine In fact, in my opinion seduction tends to happen in low energy It's when things tone, you know turned down but heat up So I'm not a high-energy guy. I'm not extroverted I'm grumpy often But that really really works for me because I own it and I project very very clear intent about who I am to the girl So if you guys don't think you have to be, you know, like vince kelvin Who is one of my favorite speakers and a very good friend of mine and when we go out together and wing together It's it's quite hilarious because it can't get any more extreme than the levels of low and high energy But it both works because that's who we are and we're just expressing The energy level that we feel comfortable with Yeah, but at the same time always challenge the people that you're with Allow silence to sit because people tend to feel it and women speak more than us anyway And at the same time Be working on your ultimate lifestyle And don't be don't buy into the bullshit of working eight hours a week for the rest of your life making yourself go gray early In order to maybe one day have that car or that house that watch or whatever that's then going to maybe mean you're going to get the girl That's all bullshit. I've taken Gorgeous girls off guys who are far richer and you know more successful than I will ever be in those value terms Because I'm trading on the currency that's most important in life, which is the human emotion If you guys can look people in the eyes ask them questions about who they really are and allow them to express themselves to you They will love you. They will want to fuck you. They will want to help you I have two rules in seduction. One of them is the right to freedom rule make no apology and take full responsibility Make no apology for who you are what you want what you're trying to achieve in this life But take responsibility for the fact that you have to be the one to go out there and make it happen If you allow external circumstances Your height your race your age You know the last Thing that happened to you when you approached a girl or any of these things to hold you back Then you are a prisoner of external circumstances So take responsibility for the fact that you're going to have to go out there and face this over and over again And you will get smashed sometimes you will get You know your ego shattered, which is a great thing. I love getting my ego shattered by girls Because it makes me reapply reappraise constantly over and over again who I actually am Because every time I think I know who I am some girl or some circumstance comes along and smashes it and then I get to recreate myself this uh This journey seduction in my mind is uh Is an amazing catalyst for personal change if you choose to take it that way It can become something that turns you in a twist into a twisted widow And I've seen many guys go down that path. Please don't let that happen to you But if you you do it in the right way, it allows you to grow in all directions spiritually financially in your social world sexually Because a woman a good woman Will act as a mirror to you when it held up She will show you your flaws and she will show you the power in yourself that you didn't even know you had yet If you if you're actually able to be honest and authentic with her Don't try and pretend to be somebody you're not but be very very willing To explore and expand who you thought you were Questions? Yes, uh Yeah, uh, I really appreciated the speech. Uh, I watched the whole thing and uh, even have to go to the bathroom very bad But uh, I want to like you're talking about this stuff that has to do with presence that has to do with uh, You know talking to people and I think excellent talking about the challenge and nobody talks about this and how to do it But what I want to ask you and I think this is really important for me to hear too is what is your end goal of that challenge? Just like you just said Seduction for you a woman will humble you a woman. Well a good woman will change you and actually challenge you and bring up fears What would be the end result that? We should all be looking for if we are following this path from okay Do you mean in terms of challenging within that small context or overall? The small context but mainly to the overall challenge Okay, well, I love to be challenged by by by women and people as well um I think When you when you step out there because inevitably when you start challenging women they'll challenge you back And and women do this all the time anyway They start poking at men to see what they're made of because they have to they have to screen men Based not necessarily on what's first given to them But what happens when they poke at them which is why guys I don't know why guys get all upset about what they call shit tests I love them because it gives me an opportunity To demonstrate to the girl who I actually am um The point the point of challenging Is that it gets to the heart of the matter it gets to the reality of what's actually happened I don't the first answer that somebody gives you without any pressure on them Is going to be the the one that they got to through the path of least resistance They're going to give you as little as they have to people tend to do that unless they really want to impress you for some reason So what I want to do in that situation is I want to allow her the opportunity To show me more of who she is and I demand it actually and in the same way I want her to do the same to me You know, I was out the other night and I was talking to go and she just looked me dead in the eyes I said do you like music not in like that way of like what kind of music do you like it's like Are you serious about music and I found myself in that moment going I'm really passionate about music music is really important and before I'd noticed it I'd realized she'd challenged me in exactly the way that I would usually do it and it had that effect Where I actually gave more of myself because I felt the pressure because she was expecting more People who expect more out of life get more That's basically it if you want more out of life. You've got to challenge and expect more And there's just one more thing what would be your and goal of this like what is seduction Yeah, because we talked about this last night and I know you have like it's really Yeah, well for me, it's it's a constant evolution You know, I mean my personal story is pretty wacky, but I've been through a whole lot of different Lives and experiences within seduction from being, you know, a monogamous guy to Suddenly going, all right, I want to have sex with the many girls as possible Two going, all right What I want to do is I want to experiment with some relation Relationship paradigms that are out there. So I wanted to have five Insanely hot insanely challenging girlfriends all at once who all knew about each other that at some point that was my thing And I worked very hard and got to that point. I don't necessarily suggest It's pretty hard to juggle that kind of thing. Um, I didn't have time for anything else But I wanted to push it and see what the extremes were and I learned a lot about myself and a lot about women during that During that phase I then reached a point where I met one fucking amazing woman who blew all the others away and challenged me on a Level that I had never experienced before and you know, there there will come times in your seduction career Where you'll need to make choices about Is this serving you anymore? If you've got to the point where you are getting regular sex with lots of different girls Which I don't I'm not going to say don't go through that. It's for sure. Go through it. Check it all out Um, but there will come a time where you're not learning anything more because of that And then you need to recognize when it's time to evolve to a new or a different level And I noticed that you know men who get into these go through arcs of of development Going from inactive single, which is where some of you will be and you never want to be which is where You're celibate and you don't want to be celibate. That sucks All the rest are legitimate Actively single which is where you're choosing to be single but you get to experience sex on whatever level it is that you want You know having multiple relationships That are ethical that are honest and open which is really easy to do A lot of guys are always like how do you have more than one girlfriend with you know, you have to lie, right? No, you don't you just need to be really clear about it from the very beginning and accept that Some girls won't be cool with it. I would just use to say that look. I want to tell you where I'm at Um, I'll understand if you if you're not okay with it When you put it like that a lot of girls will be cool with it So for me it's there is no end goal Like I'm continuing to evolve in this if there was if I felt there was an end goal I would get out of this business completely. I would move on to something. I'd go back to shelling temple and sit in the monastery Which I may end up doing maybe that's my my whole journey Seduction is a big part of the hero's journey Feeling like you're alive like you're a man like you have a masculine presence like you have a purpose in life There's got to be a woman along or many women along that that path But at the same time don't let that for too long become your path unless you're going to end up like us Yeah, because that gets crazy All right, what else? Yeah, you were talking about um, you know always asking questions. Um, but something I learned on a I didn't I never said always asked. Oh, sorry. Oh, you did say, um that we should ask questions That's part of conversation. Yeah. Yeah something I Something I learned on a another seminar was um That the person who asked the questions is always in control In control of what? um The situation Okay, I don't agree with that. Okay. Okay. Well, okay. Well, what's what's the point you're getting at here? Like what do you what's your question for me? I'm saying that um, you know, it's about leading, isn't it? And being in control of the situation Yeah, I'm happy to let a girl lead like And there's there's different ways to lead Okay, so like I travel a lot right so I I rock up in cities where I don't know where the fuck I am And I get lost just walking out my own door. I've got a terrible sense of direction um, okay, for example, I'm going on a date tonight And with what you would consider to be a very high value girl very attractive and successful and so on and uh We're shooting text back and I'm like, I have no idea where to take her. I can't I can't say well I think we should go to uh I don't know anyway So I'm chatting and I'm saying all right. I think we should we should uh, we should meet at seven but you're going to have to take the lead on where Yeah, so I'm actually leading her to lead me Say if I go back to a girl's house Um, I can't lead it to the bedroom because I don't know where it is Yeah, so I'll say all right. Give me the tour. Let's go and I'll push her to like take me I'm being led Yeah You can you can lead people in all sorts of ways by getting them to ask you questions or you asking them questions or whatever It's really about how you steer the overall aspect of the conversation I think it's very very It's way too arrogant to to presume that and girls see through arrogance very quickly or if they don't then then they're not that well socialized Um Feeling like you know, you always need to be in charge and you know If if she asked you a question and she's kind of leading the the conversation for a while that you're losing power and all that It's not true If a girl wants to like expand on something or explore ideas with me or wants to challenge me on something I'm totally cool to let her do that because I'm confident. I'm not arrogant. You know, I've got nothing. I actually don't have anything to prove I I'm I'm happy with who I am and I know that I I tend to get what I want and if for some reason she doesn't like me. Well, I can live with that Yeah So I wouldn't worry so much about that. Yes, you want to be leading the overall tone and you want to be thinking about Where the interaction is headed? Okay, what's the point if you're just sitting there and like chatting randomly Floating around nothing's happening. Then yeah, you need to take leadership But if for a while she's getting all animated and she's probing into you Well, cool That's let her do that and that will demonstrate good things about you It shows that you don't have anything to hide that you're willing to let a woman You know, see what you're actually made of and then if it's start, you know Then at some point you shift it back and go, all right, let's get the fuck out of here Or let's do something and you start to move it around and lead it Does that make sense? Cool All right one more we're done All right. Thank you very much gentlemen