 Hi everyone, so I'm on placement and the results are out for ACPE dissertation, not dissertation called ACPE. I've been banging on about for months and months all year in fact and as you can see by my smile, I've passed! I've passed! I've just said I need to go to the toilet and just have a little moment. I've passed, not just passed, I've got 75% guys! I've passed dissertation after all the stress, all the worry, all the emotions about this blooming dissertation and I've passed. I'm so relieved, so so relieved but I just wanted to share this moment with you all because I'm chuffed, I'm so chuffed, I'm gonna sleep really well tonight and that's it. I'm gonna be a real nurse guys. Hi everybody, so it is Tuesday and I'm on my way to placement day after dissertation results. I was gonna vlog last night when I got home but I sat down and I thought what did I even do today because in my head I had a party all day because I'd passed. As you can see I'm still absolutely buzzing, 75% guys, 75%. In my last video when I was talking about dissertation and I was working out my percentages and stuff and I think I said I needed 77% to get a first and I was there like there's nowhere I'm gonna get anywhere near that. I would have just scraped the past, in my head I thought I would have just scraped 40%. 75% guys, 2% away from a first. That is a wound but you know what, I've passed, I've got 75%, I'm so happy. I feel really sorry for my patients because I'm going to be that really annoying over happy person for the next two weeks. So I'm back home from a day of placement and did I mention a past dissertation? No, I don't think I've mentioned it this week so probably didn't there? Oh you're gonna be so bored of me saying this. So anyway back to what's actually happening on placement right now. As you know this is my second to last week, next Friday although when you watch this on Sunday it's gonna be this Friday is my final shift, my final management placement for my final day where I'm gonna get signed off to become a registered nurse. But you know what, everything I do now I'm panicking and I'm double checking and I'm triple checking and I'm thinking anything could go wrong in this next week or 10 days however long I've got left now and I'm just panicking and I'm just thinking oh I've got to be so careful because if something happens I don't get my pain, I'm gonna be destroyed and I'm just, I'm on edge and I don't know if everybody feels like this but I am on edge and I'm being so cautious and people are saying things and I'm like oh my god was that me? Oh my god it's the student it was me I'm gonna fail but it's not, it's not. I'm just being really over cautious, really over sensitive on edge. Today I'm going to discuss something actually that happened today that put me on edge even more. I've worked in healthcare as you know for 10 years, just over 10 years now, 11 years maybe now and not once, not once have I had a needle stick injury. You guessed it, today was the day. 10 years I've avoided this and today I got a needle stick injury, I don't know if you can see it. I don't know why I'm showing you it but it's there. Knowing the patient and the past medical history and stuff, she as far as I'm aware she hasn't got any sort of infections or anything that could be passed on to me so I'm not really worried but you know they were like oh policy and procedures says you should go to A&E and I was like I'm not going to A&E, I'm not going to A&E to wait for four and a half hours and I know that's really bad of me, I'm a very bad patient, very bad student nurse by saying that and I rang occupational health instead and I booked into my own occupational health at university so I'm booked in tomorrow to get some bloods and whatever they do, whatever I don't know. I don't know, I've never looked into it because I've always been so careful. So I'm mortified, I'm absolutely mortified that this has happened and it was just it was just a mistake. I was clearing up some rubbish and there was a needle in there and as I sweep it up it caught my finger and I was like oh no. I knew the guidelines for bleeding out needle stick injuries because I followed that. I know those sort of guidelines to follow so I was literally there squeezing it, squeezing it under the hot tub, squeezing it, pouring all the blood out, scrubbing it with the soap which stung and which even stung more was the alcohol gel that I then scrubbed onto it because I was that paranoid. I was like even though I know that there's probably no risk but it did make me a little bit paranoid a little bit additionally because they're bleeding it out, squeezing it out, washing it, washing it again, alcohol gel I won't be doing that again will I? I'm like oh my god am I gonna fail for having a needle stick injury? Like no I'm not gonna fail for a needle stick injury it was just an accident, an accident happened. So please guys when you're out there please be careful of what you're picking up in rubbish and things. Yeah apart from that that's all I've really had that's been exciting today so yeah so we'll see what tomorrow brings I'm with another nurse tomorrow and then I've got my operational help so yeah see you tomorrow guys. So today is Wednesday I've wrapped myself up with my blanket because it's absolutely freezing well like what happened to the temperatures? Suddenly it's like boom winter is here. Anyway so I wanted to tell you all about my day today today has been a really interesting day kind of so we've got a lot of patients who are palliative end-of-life on our lists in the community we have to like set up syringe drivers, manage the pain, the sickness, all of these different things, anxiety, agitation that they might get there's quite a lot of things that you have to sort of think of with these palliative patients but one of our patients has got this I've spoke about it before like a really cancerous fungating wound and I haven't dealt with any of this before so this is all new to me it's amazing for my learning but I can't help but I'm just like I just don't know what to do it's just like I feel like I want to do more for this patient this patient got a lot of odor with it really strong and I said yesterday I said a tip that we learned at uni in one of our cancer lectures was to mask sort of smells is to use essential oils and I've got a really good strong lavender oil I said do you like lavender do you mind the smell of lavender because it's quite strong and some people don't like that and she said yeah I do like the smell of that I said I've got loads of little bottles at home I said I'm going to bring you one in try that we'll put some on your clothing and that should just mask the smell how about that and she was like yeah let's try that so she was really grateful so today I took the essential oil in put it on her clothes and it just made such a difference to her she was really really grateful and hopefully I'm praying that we're going to have her tomorrow again because I want to see how she found it so this was just a massive massive help to her and it was just amazing that I could actually put something in place from university again and use that knowledge to help her out it just made my day but this wound it's bleeding a lot it's I've never seen anything like it um we're trying to mop it up we've got all these cores we've got all these different things so yeah and it was just it was just a sad to see I was thinking this poor lady has got this horrific wound it's bleeding out it must make you anxious um and she does have things in place to calm her down if she does get to that point where she's anxious about it luckily we didn't have to use that today but it's just so sad to see and then we had another patient again end of life palliative patient it's just horrible to think that people go through this and suffer here we go emotions are coming again stop take a minute it's just it's just really horrible to think that people go through that that people have to put up with that it's horrible this is what I do guys I at the time I'm dealing with things like this that I haven't seen before I haven't dealt for it and they shock me I stay really composed at the time I keep it all in I don't know how I do it but something in my mind clicks and I switch to autopilot and I focus on the patient what I'm dealing with what I'm doing all of that and then I come home I sit in a reflect and that's when it all comes out everything just gonna come out tonight um but it's just it's just really hard to um think that someone's dealing with that and someone has to go through that and yeah okay as nurses we can manage it the best we can we can put on the dresses we can give reinsurance we can give them medications anxiety medications pain relief anti-sickness we do all of that we do the best that we can but it's not nice guys it's not nice for someone to have to go through that it's not nice for your patient to go through that it must be terrifying for them for the family um and I think the million nurses and everything they do come around and they do go into detail about what's going to happen they go through all of the things that can happen towards the end so they are well prepared the medications everything is at the same place I can't um I'm making it sound really awful I'm so sorry if I've put you off nursing completely by saying this but as nurses you do everything you can you've made the patient comfortable I've gone out there I've gone away from both of these patients knowing that I've done a good job and I've left them comfortable but it's me it's because I just I overthink and I've got too much empathy I don't even know if that's a thing but I've got too much empathy for my patients I literally put myself in the patient's place and I just I know if it was me it would terrify me and how the patient feels is awful I did have a little joke and I laughed with one of the patients and I said what are we gonna do with you doing this and they're like to be honest I'd rather be gone and I was just like oh and it's horrible it's so hard it is it's something new that I've seen today and it was really hard it was quite a difficult day guys I did have to go to occupational therapy as I said yesterday to have I had my bloods done here we go I've had my bloods done I've had a hepatitis B injection booster injection just in case but yeah I've got to have a follow-up in six weeks 12 weeks and 24 weeks just for any of you out there that have had a needle stick injury just now this second and wondering what's going on coincidentally I'm talking about it there you go that's what's going to happen so yeah you just fill out a form incident reported day text it go for your bloods go for your boosters all of that jazz and that's it that's all I've done so I'm going to stop talking now because I've been going on for oh eight and a half minutes now I'm really sorry I'm going to have to cut that out cut it down as much as I can probably not going to be able to so I tell you what tomorrow's Thursday and Friday so if there's anything new that I do over Thursday and Friday I will vlog it if there's nothing new and I'm just going to be repeating myself I'm not going to vlog it and I'm going to end the video here so if I do end the video here I just want to say I'm massive well done and well done to all of the students out there I know you've all started some of you have started your very first placement this week I've been following you on your Twitter and Instagram if I haven't liked it if I haven't commented I'm really really sorry I've either been caught busy or I've just completely missed the post because things get lost in news feeds also if you're following me and I haven't followed you back give me a nudge inbox me or something because that's not fair I want to be following your journey you're following mine I want to follow yours I get really excited so yeah so a massive well done a good look to you for your placements good luck as you've got exams coming up any presentations any assignments whatever you've got doing well done good luck you're doing absolutely amazing and keep it up