 That's why men of God divorce. That's why women of God, powerful prophets, even like me, you go through divorce and you wonder how did I get? No, it's true. If you don't give him boundaries, you will ruin your marriage. This is without question an unbiblical view on marriage. Most of the lives who call themselves a prophet gives a take on marriage. And the issue is how not how biblical it is, it's not biblical, but really how unbiblical. And then what are the actual biblical views of marriage? How does God view marriage? How does God particularly view marriage in relation to someone who is in ministry? Clearly, ministry or serving the body, serving others is important. But in comparison to how it is or how it ranked with marriage, that's the question. Well, obviously our service to God, our devotion to God, our love for God takes priority over everything. That's number one. But the issue is what second? Is it going to be our service to the ministry? Or our service or our first, what I would call our first ministry, which is our family? And I was because of the way I framed it. I would say our marriage, our family is our first ministry. But let's listen to what he has to say. And then let's see if there are scripture supports or if there are any scriptures that refute what he is saying. Do you know why pastors fail in marriage? Men of God's marriages die. I'm one of those people that went through that. Now, I'll say this. The fact that he was divorced, I'm not going to impugn him on that. I'm not going to even bring up what the allegations were surrounding it or anything like that, or even his remarriage. But there is going to come a point we've got to address that, especially in in contrast to what he's saying. I got divorced. I'll tell you why it happens. God has never told a man or a woman, go to your wife, go to your husband. You're spending too much time with me. Well, the reason why God has never told a man in the Bible that, hey, you're spending too much time with me. Go to be with your with your spouse is because that's never an issue because our issue is that we don't spend enough time with God. That's not the point. And so the statement by itself is erroneous because that's not an issue. God does expect for you to spend time with your spouse. That shouldn't be that shouldn't be misunderstood. As a matter of fact, it's clearly an error to state otherwise. Because also God lasts after you. He wants you for himself. What he refuses or I guess is just missing is that the one person who brings about marriage, who brings it together is God. Remember, in Genesis 2 24, he says, for this reason, a man shall leave his father and his mother and be joined to his wife and the two shall become one flesh. It's also God who originally stated before this that it's not good for man to be alone. Now, did God intend for man to have a wife and then neglect God? Well, no, but they partner together in their worship with God as well as in their ministry. But the very first thing that was instituted before there was a church, before there was a ministry for service of other people was this family. And what were they given to do? He says to be fruitful and multiply, in other words, to spread themselves as well as the glory of God, the two work together. Marriage and ministry work together. And so if there's someone who's in ministry and he's married, well, the marriage is to is to help in the furtherance of the gospel, obviously, first at home and then going outward to their local neighborhood community, especially in the church. When he gave you a wife, he gave you a husband. He gave you a helpmate, but he's number one. And so when he says that he gave them a helpmate, well, sure, a helpmate to do what? We know he's number one. That part, no one is disputed, but when you are and you're going to hear him say so when you kind of impugn or you rank or reorder the the priority, the priority is for that man to love his wife. That's clear. And it's also of note that it is God who on some occasions, not often, not always, but it's been God in some occasions that's actually brought a wife to a man. Think about Isaac. God is the one that gave Isaac this woman. And then Hosea, God tells Hosea to marry this woman, Gomer. Is that always normal? No. But the point is, God is interested in man having a wife, even those who are in ministry. So when you start getting intimate with him, he doesn't want you to leave him. He won't tell you, go and fix your relationship. It will be you to give him boundaries. Now, so the two states that he says that he didn't want you to one, leave him and then two, he doesn't want you to go and fix your relationship. Well, that flies counter to what God has stated. First of all, you're not going to leave him. You're not leaving his presence just because you are spending time with your wife. Well, what are you doing? You're actually giving God glory in the union that he created. But then he says not to fix your relationship. Well, Peter would beg to differ. As a matter of fact, let's go and look what Peter says. As a matter of fact, if you don't go and fix your relationship, Peter doesn't even pray. In 1 Peter 370, he says, you husbands in the same way live with your wives in an understanding way as with someone weaker since she is a woman and show her honor as a fellow heir of grace of life so that your prayers will not be hindered. If you don't take care of that, you don't fix that relationship. Well, guess what's going to happen? Your prayers are not going to be answered. So guess what? Don't even pray. If you don't give him boundaries, you will ruin your marriage. Now, I want you to listen to what he just said. If you don't give him boundaries, you will ruin your marriage. Or he will ruin your marriage. I'm not sure what he means by if you don't give him boundaries. How do you give God boundaries? But the statement, he will ruin your marriage. That should be an eye-raiser. If you don't give him boundaries, you will ruin your marriage. Because you will never tell you you're neglecting your wife. He wouldn't say that. He wouldn't say you're neglecting your husband. Moses is with God 40 days, 40 nights on the mountain. Hasn't gone down to his wife. His wife doesn't. And then he comes down full of the anointing, full of power. He has to have a veil on. Do you think he's going to lay with his wife? Moses had his son before he started going up the mountain. After that, we don't know if Moses never had any other children. So you can tell that the intimacy was no longer there. What love he tends to do often is to take a passage and embellish it and make it say what it doesn't say. Or if it doesn't specifically say a certain thing, then let me take my opportunity to create something that's not there. We don't know about Moses' marriage because that's not the point of the writings. That's not what Moses' writing about. Moses is not telling us how to live in holy matrimony. Moses is giving us the law given to the people by God. And so that's the whole point. We don't know what their marriage was like. We don't know what their intimacy was like. And so he's making this point because we're not told that then clearly Moses must not have been intimate with his wife. Same thing, must be the same thing with Peter. Must be the same thing with every other man. We're not told those things. And so he's making a point. And truth be told, let's just be honest. The reason why the point is being made is because here's a person who has been married and then is divorced. And so he is going to blame the fact that he is spending too much time with God on the fact that his marriage has fallen apart. The fact that he loves the Lord so much and the Lord loves after him that now he cannot devote enough time to God and to his wife. Well, the problem is you got married again. So if it happens again, you've already created yourself an out. If you don't give him boundaries, you will ruin your marriage. God will not ruin your marriage. As a matter of fact, God gives you this marriage. Why? To promote him, to glorify him, to populate the earth with Godly people. He is not going to cause you to ruin your marriage. However, if you do break this marriage vow, God has a problem. And do it around between 2331. Look what he says. When you make a vow to the Lord, your God, which is what you do in marriage, you shall not delay to pay it for it should, it would be a sin in you. And the Lord, your God will surely require it of you. You are not to make a vow in the internal vow, especially if it is the marriage vow. Jesus makes a statement that it was never so that a man should divorce his wife. But here we have a man who is giving a pass for those, especially those in ministry, if it happens, saying a man of God are often getting divorced. Well, maybe they're not men of God, or maybe they're just immature. Maybe they're self-seeking, such as we see, we seem to see with you if you're going to make this statement and don't back it up with scripture but just an opinion or fill in the blanks where you see that the Bible didn't speak about something, and you're going to add something that's not there. This is really what the Bible is talking about, about adding to or taking away from the scriptures. What he just said goes counter to what God is saying. In his example with Moses, he needs to understand what Moses's wife did for him. Remember, Moses is married to Zipporah. Moses is so busy, I guess like he's saying, so busy in the ministry that he forgets something. Matter of fact, even before the ministry starts, Moses doesn't do what he's supposed to do, and God is going to kill him. We see in Exodus 4.24 that it came about at the lodging place on the way that the Lord met him and sought to put into death. Then Zipporah took the flint and cut off her son's foreskin and threw it at Moses' feet, and she said, you are indeed a bridegroom of blood to me. God was getting ready to kill Moses. Notice a couple of things. One, in this ministry, Moses is getting ready as he's going to serve the Lord, who's with him, his wife, his wife and his son. Now, we're not told about the intimacy, how the child came about, other children. We know they have at least two sons that are mentioned. The point is, here we find the wife with Moses, and she's the one that saves his life. So everything that this man is speaking about is completely erroneous, it's false. It's really to make a point so that you wouldn't look at him, impugn him at the fact that, hey, he's on his second marriage. I'm not impugn him for that. The Bible will talk about that in a second, but he wants to get a pass for his first marriage failing. Well, if your first marriage failed, what's the hope of you in having the second marriage to succeed? It can happen, don't get me wrong. God does forgive, and so you can be blessed after being repentant and remorseful and so forth and moving forward. God is a forgiving God, and there's no perpetual sin to continue, but to give a pass to what happened and to make excuses, now we've got a problem because whatever you do going forward is not built off repenting heart, it's built off of a self-serving heart. Imagine being married to Jesus. Obviously the Lord is, you know, we are married to him, but think about that for a second. A man was going city to city doing what God wants, spending all night praying. Why aren't you in bed right now? Where are you? You become a problem. The marriage will die. No, let's be real people. It would die. Oh, it's bad. So he's making the point that, okay, fine. Being married to Jesus, I get it, he's making a hypothetical, but he's trying to make the point that Jesus is so busy in serving the Lord and apparently he was too, not necessarily the case. Well, then how could you do that because he's out doing this, he's out doing that, and then to get a phone call, where are you? Well, that's not how to work again. The example that he brought up with Moses, his wife was with him. Men who are in ministry, when they go different places to do things in ministry, guess who should be there with them? The wife, his problem is, and probably still is now, when you go places and your wife is not there with you, well, then there is the problem. You open up yourself to all sorts of dangers, somebody else coming in, someone else spending time with you or you not spending time with her. And Paul tells us how this ought to be. The problem is, he is going to reduce Paul's statements to simply a tip and not an inspired word from God. God won't tell you your wife needed that, go. Nah, he's saying I'm number one. The more you spend time with him, yeah, I'm number one. That's where I belong. Your wife needs to know I'm number one. Your husband needs to know I'm number one. So my question is, how do you spend time with God? Because think about this, if you can spend time with God but you can't spend time with your wife, well then wouldn't it also be logical to say that if you're spending time with God then you can't go to work. If you're spending time with God then you can't go cook, you can't go eat. If you're spending time with God, you can't go bathe, you can't take care of the children, you can't do any of these things. It's ridiculous the point that he's making. So if you can make time for these other things that you have to do, well then you should make time. As a matter of fact, not should, but you must make time for the woman who is there in ministry with you because you're not in ministry by yourself, you're in ministry with her. And she is to help you in ministry. And your time with God, sometimes you're on your face, you're on your knees, you're praying, sometimes you are fasting, we'll get to Paul in a second. Sometimes you are spreading the gospel, sometimes you're preparing, and so you work together in concert. That's the problem that we're finding is that a lot of these men, including lovely, loving, does not do not spend time with God, with their wives or in ministry, with their wives and they're in lives, the problem. That's why Paul started saying, before you fast. Go talk to your spouse. So that you don't deny them their right. Notice, Paul is giving that advice, but there is no scripture that says, before thou fastest go and talk to, he's giving you a tip. Because God wants you to fast. That's why Jesus said, when you fast, he didn't say, if you fast, God is expecting you to do that. But Paul comes in and says, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. He wants you to do that. But remember you're also in covenant with somebody. Can you clear it up before you do that? Notice God will be willing for you to violate that vow. And he won't say you sinned. So, and I want to let that play a little bit more because I want you to hear what he's saying. First of all, God is not willing for you to violate the vow. We just read earlier, and there's all throughout the scriptures, if you make a vow, God expects you to keep it. As a matter of fact, your yes should mean yes, your no should be no, especially when it comes to marriage. Jesus is the one that said that it's not permitted. He never intended for that to be the case. So before we go any further, let's look and see how he completely distorts what Paul is saying. And let's go to 1 Corinthians 7. Look what he says. Now concerning the thing about which he wrote. Again, the people in Corinth, they wrote him concerning issues regarding marriage. He said, it is good for a man not to touch a woman. So he's not saying that you should not touch a woman, but he said it's also good that a man should not touch a woman. But because of immoralities, each man is to have his own wife, and each woman is to have her own husband. In other words, your one wife, that's the one that you get, not to have other wives or other women and things like that. No, you're to have your own, and she's to have her own. And each woman's have her own husband. The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife. Remember, these are scriptures that are inspired by God. Notice how he'll take the scriptures that didn't fit his lifestyle, and he'll make it into just a tip. But any other passages regarding things that he's for, such as tongues, we find the issue of tongues, he'll quote 1 Corinthians 14, he'll do so out of order in the wrong context, but he believes that those are authoritative, but he doesn't think that this here, regarding marriage is authoritative. Here he says it's just a tip. Well, again, you are demeaning what Paul is writing and Paul's writings are Holy Spirit inspired. And he says, the husband must fulfill his duty to the wife. And likewise also to her husband, the wife also to her husband, the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise also the husband doesn't have authority over his own body, but the wife does. So here's what he's saying. They are, the two are one. As Jesus said, as God stated in Genesis 2,24, he says, verse five, he says, stop depriving one another except by agreement four times so that you may devote yourselves to pray. In other words, enjoy. The only time that you don't, that you should take time depriving the other, if the other is forward or what have you, y'all know what I'm saying, family, family show is when you are in prayer or in fasting. Are you with me? So this is not difficult except when someone comes in and muddies a water, but he says, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. Now the point that he's making here is that all of us have self-control. There are some people that are gifted in a way that they don't have that issue, but the overwhelming majority do have that as an issue. And so what does he say? To marry, to have your own spouse for enjoyment, but not according to loving. You've got to enjoy God. And if the spouse gets in the way well then she's gonna have to take a severe back seat. Well, why can't she ride with you? That's the point that Paul is trying to get across. But I say this by way of confession, not of command, yet I wish that all men were even as myself. Now Paul, this is where he's saying that this is not a command, but I would love for you all to be just like me. But God didn't command that. That's the distinction right here. That's the only part that he's speaking of that this is not a command. It's not a command that you should be by yourself. Unless you've been gifted in that regard, well then you need to go ahead and marry. However, each man has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that. And so in other words, everyone's not gifted like Paul. Let's continue what he's saying. But I say to the unmarried and to the widows that it is good for them if they remain even as I am again, I say like you are, you don't have to get married. But if they do not have that self-control, let them marry for it is better to marry than to what? Burn in passion. But to the married, I give instructions. Not I, but the Lord. Not I, but the Lord. That the wife should not leave her husband, but if she does leave, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband and the husband should not divorce his wife. So lovy, this is not a tip. This is what God is saying. He says, not I, but the Lord is saying, do not divorce her. And so he's stating, he's trying to give an out a cushion for the fact that he divorced his wife. And the reason why is because he was so close to God. God lusted after him and he lusted after God and they are so close that he didn't have time or I should say didn't have time for his wife, but you got married again. Why was that? Was it because of this lust for someone else, for some attention? I'm not upset with that, but the fact is you are giving yourself an excuse for whatever sin you committed previously. I don't think you understand what, that's why men of God divorce. That's why women of God, powerful prophets, even like me, you go through divorce and you wonder how did I get, nah, it's true. And that is not why they divorce. They divorce not because they're obeying God, they divorce because of sin. Listen, there's no such thing as a divorce happening where there is no sin involved. There's just no such thing. Can a person be forgiven for that sin? Sure, but do not, do not pour over the fact, glass over the fact that sin is at the root of a divorce. Divorce didn't happen because of some sort of holy ghost inspired irreconcilable differences. No, that is not the point. When you make the vow, you keep the vow. There are things I'm sure I neglected big time because the closer I go to God, even my view of life of everything changed. Ah, you see him, you don't remain the same. You die, meaning everything to do with you loses meaning. So it's because he got so close to God that he didn't focus on other things. I'm so close to God, I'm so, but you couldn't be too close because you're missing his word. And so God wouldn't tell you that she needs you or a vow. Yes, he would. He says, Paul says, husbands love your wife as obviously Christ loved the church. And so this is a command. This isn't a tip. This is what ought to be. This is probably some of the worst marital advice or some of the worst statements on marriage, especially concerning those in ministry. This is some of the worst, but to be honest, this is kind of in leagues because if you are self-serving, even when you get married, you're still self-serving. You are still concerned about yourself. And so there's an out. And I've seen many men who are supposedly in ministry who would use the fact that they're in ministry as a reason. It sounds odd to actually get a divorce. God didn't give me this woman, he gave me that woman. I was married to the wrong woman and I was in disobedience with God as long as I was married to her and he gave me this woman. No, you're trying to give yourself an out. You see it time and time again with men who call themselves men of God. Well, if they were of God, they would follow the word of God. These are God's word when he says in Proverbs 19, 14, he says, house and wealth are an inheritance from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord. This woman, this wife comes from the Lord. The man that finds a wife, what? Finds a good thing. This is from the Lord. Don't listen to someone who tells you, I don't care what you're in. I don't care if you're in ministry. I don't care if you're in business. I don't care if you are going through college, going through school, whatever you're young and married. If you are married, that is your first responsibility outside of your time with the Lord, and she can actually enhance your time with the Lord. Amen.