 Well, hello and welcome to Understand Men Now. I'm Jonathan Asley of johnathanasley.com, and I'm so excited to be shooting this short video for you today, why men reject the right woman. Why do men reject the right woman? Okay, really quickly, if you're new to my YouTube channel and this content resonates with you and you're interested in speaking to me directly, check out the link to a free discovery call to see if working with a coach is right for you. And that call is with me directly. All right, we're gonna talk about why men reject the right woman. So let's talk about first, what is the right woman? Okay, I believe the right woman is a person who is emotionally mature, has their act together, doesn't have a lot of drama in their life, and I'm using the term drama. But what I really mean is a lot of chaos going on in their life. In other words, they have a sense of balance between the challenges in life and be able to overcoming those challenges. And I also believe the right woman is someone where there's mutual attraction and chemistry, and the right woman is that person who's capable of being in relationship and has the capacity to be in a healthy, happy relationship because she's an emotional grownup. Okay, and really quickly, the emotional grownup which I shot a video on it, it's called The Five Signs to Emotional Maturity. You may wanna check it out, I'll give it to you really quickly. An emotional grownup is someone whose actions match their words. They take personal responsibility for their choices. They know how to fight fair, which means that they know how to listen to the other person's point of view and accept the other person's point of view when both are doing the same. The emotionally mature person has empathy, and empathy isn't just I feel your feelings, empathy is I care about your feelings. And lastly, transparency, transparency. And what it means, transparency centers around relationship, emotional maturity is that if it's material to the relationship, you are transparent with your partner. If your partner asks you something that's material to the relationship, they divulge it, they're not hiding it. That's what transparency is. All right, so now we just established the right woman, right, or man, why would someone reject someone great for them? You know, really the number one reason it always boils down to this time and time and time and time and time again is fear of intimacy, fear of intimacy. And I say this because I've been there, I've been that person that's afraid to go deeper because I didn't build the emotional maturity and foundation in my own life to be able to lean into the one of the most important factors in a relationship, which is intimacy. Now I'm gonna explain, I'm gonna explain, I'm going to explain why in a second. But what I wanna introduce you today is a new book that I haven't talked about before. It's the work of David Data and the book is called Intimate Communion, Intimate Communion by David Data. Now why this is so, you know, when I read this book, I was floored. I was like, whoa, this really opened my eyes to intimacy and intimacy isn't just sexual connection. Intimacy is that ability to be vulnerable, authentic and transparent with your partner. Now I can tell you, I've met a lot of women who were incapable of being vulnerable, authentic and transparent with me. So this isn't just a one way street that it's men who are fear of intimacy because I know plenty of women are have fear of intimacy. And the fear of intimacy is usually centered around a childhood wound or trauma or an adult trauma such as divorce, job loss, physical afflictions in one life or other trauma in one's life that cause them the challenge is that they're stuck in woundedness or traumas and haven't healed from it. And going back to the childhood wounds and traumas, that's usually where they center around the fear of intimacy because they're most likely was some sort of abandonment that happened in their childhood. And sometimes the abandonment was as simple as your mother didn't go to the crib when you cried and you felt abandoned. It can be sometimes as simple as that. And for humans, I'm a big proponent of doing personal development, self-help and spiritual work to shore up that area of themselves in emotional maturity. It's why I wrote my book, What the Heck is Self-Love Anyway? What the Heck is Self-Love Anyway? And this is a journey of personal development, self-help and spiritual work. By the way, there's a link below to all my books called Jonathan Recommend Books as well as my book, selflovethebook.com. Now, here's the thing. We can judge that we've been rejected by this person. We've been rejected by this person or we can simply recognize that maybe they didn't have the capacity to go into deeper intimacy and that doesn't make them a bad person. Would we judge a child for being unable to be in an intimate relationship? No, we wouldn't. We wouldn't judge a cancer patient being someone who's going through cancer. We wouldn't judge them for not being able to play sports because they have a physical ailment. There's physical as well as emotional ailments that makes it very difficult for people to lean into intimacy. And this is true of men and women alike. This is why I'm such a big proponent of getting, there's a new book that I've introduced to you recently. It's How to Be an Adult in Relationship. How to be an adult in relationship. Ladies, I'm here to say that it's not just men, it's women as well. And this is why I'm a big proponent of both people reading books together if you're going to spend time together. Be intentional about the process instead of a man should claim you and all you got to do is lean back and be in your feminine energy and everything is all just gonna magically work out because it's gonna be magical because you're just in your feminine energy. You could be in your feminine energy all day long if he has unhealed childhood wounds and traumas or adult traumas that haven't been addressed. It's going to be, I'm yelling. I apologize, I'm yelling. But I think you're getting the point. It has nothing to do with being in feminine energy. It's all about two grown-ups traveling on the road at the same time and investing in each other. And if someone has unhealed wounds and traumas that at least hasn't addressed them, it's gonna be problematic. And that's one of the reasons why men reject the right woman or a good woman. Okay, I hope this is sinking in. I'd love to hear your thoughts on my term on the whole feminine energy. Please post a comment on what you thought about that. If you liked this video, please hit that like button so others can see this. I'd truly be grateful if you passed this on to your friends. And I'm gonna wrap up this video as I always do. First off, giving myself a big gigantic Jonathan Bear a hug of self-love. I'm gonna reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay. I'm gonna ask you to turn to a friend or a pet or a teddy bear or a pillow. We'll grab salty over here and give him a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love and we can all use more love in our lives. Thanks a bunch, bye-bye.