 In the area of relationships we've seen where people get delivered a lot of times their marriage changes But one thing that we have to understand is the deliverance does not fix your attitude Deliverance does not fix your character Many times a person still has a choice even after they're delivered to be nasty To be horrible to be rude and to be mean and they'll their marriage will collapse or be in deep suffering Not because of a demon but because of a character flaw We've seen when demons are removed spirit special like spiritual spouses like a Sexual dreams and nightmares and people get healed of emotional abuse their marriages change But there is still a portion that each one of us have to work on their character Amen, and that my friend would create suffering That creates pain and the worst pain is people pain Because when it comes to computer when it causes you pain you take a hammer and you pow And you look I'm done with you and you go get another one when the phone causes you pain you throw it out of the window You can't do that in relationships people pain is the worst It's the most difficult one that we experience especially in marriage some pain in marriage is self-inflicted Some people are suffering in marriage because they made a very unwise choice in marrying the person that they married It doesn't mean they should get divorced it just simply means that Everybody said you shouldn't do that you shouldn't get married at this time You should not get married to this person, but of course you're in love and love makes you stupid Love makes you blind It's not love. It's infatuation You ignore everybody's advice and then you got into that thing and then you realize oh my god I made a mistake and so what do you do then? What if you end up and you really feel like I married the wrong person? I think every person who got married felt like they married the wrong person at one time. I Think every person who got married has felt like man. I should have should have waited and The secret is not to allow those thoughts to come inside and not to verbalize them But to go through that pain go through that suffering and that's the words I'm gonna use in today until you get to the other side. There are people in our room today Who are leaders and some who are in the positions that you admire Who went through an extremely difficult time in their marriage? In fact, they had a scriptural and Reason to divorce Scripture gives us really three reasons. It's adultery. It's abandonment and it's abused that legally you can divorce And they didn't take those legal reasons for divorce. They endured the pain They endured the suffering and they got to the other side today Their marriage is a testimony to others today their life is a testimony to others And if you would ask them if it was worth it They would tell you it was and their marriage is better because of that I believe every marriage goes through seasons and periods of intense Suffering you can't control it Sufferings you can't control when I was dating my wife and we were engaged You know, I personally hate suffering I despise suffering with every fiber of my being I want to structure my life in such a way that I can avoid as much Suffering as I can and knowing that Jesus helps me to do that I'm the first guy to signs up with anything Jesus sells because I want to avoid suffering and So before when we were engaged, I knew potential things that will cause suffering before even we got married I you know watch different people getting married and so I saw in-laws getting getting involved I saw wedding plans that are being jeopardized by moms and dads and because there's no money And so I saved the money and I decided I'm gonna pay for everything and I'm gonna avoid every drama that there will be no drama in my Preparation for the wedding and so and that's what I thought Everything was paid for where everything was taken care of my parents the in-laws everybody was at peace Everything was perfect But there was one thing I Did not account for and it's my wife's dress She ordered it online and it did not come It did not come a month before the wedding. It did not come a week before the wedding We were getting married on Saturday and she had no wedding dress on Friday at 6 p.m Now for a guy big deal just put something on we're not getting married for a dress I'm getting married for you and that's what I told her I said where pajamas our work pajamas It's gonna be a different wedding. Nobody has ever seen it. Nobody will ever forget it Because I'm like if you get married nice if you get married in a nice wedding dress everybody dresses nice I was like, that's where pajama. We will be the most unforgettable wedding anybody anybody's ever been to of course If you're a girl, you know, you're like what you can't say that Friday you can you cannot imagine the stress I Went through because of what my wife went through. I would have taken drama between the in-laws I would have taken financial problems anything Except the fact that my wife does not have a dress and she and the dress is lost It's there's no they don't know where it is and it's too late to order a new one And she tried other dresses that are fit nothing with nothing was right Friday evening We're getting married on Saturday and there is no dress and there is no promise that it's coming and So it's it's it's pain you can't control it's not your fault of course I tried to blame hers like I try to ask you for one thing and you but But but you have a date they'll get me getting married like you can't start on that foot You want her to say yes tomorrow not no And so we went to sushi remember luck yesterday went to sushi close to the Olive Garden right there and I said babe Honestly, I'm getting married to you whether there there is a dress or no dress and everything's gonna be fine It is what it is And then at around 6 p.m. We got a call from Portland post office We got a package for you, but we're closing in 10 minutes So we have a solution and another big problem Praise be to Almighty God that my wife's sister just left Portland 10 minutes ago that she Goes back and fits within a minute before they close picks up the package Huge relief But she hasn't seen the dress yet The relief is quickly shifted to a huge Bigger problem because the dress is the wrong size It doesn't fit her the way it was supposed to fit her And so then a whole night is spent re-sewing the whole dress And so I entered into marriage already with suffering. I Was like well it will get better from now because I mean I got this now I can control things All how wrong was I was You know the stuff that we started to experience spiritually even with nightmares even with certain attacks for first year and a half the Sometimes the emotional pain was so real. I don't know if it's because of expectations I don't know if it's because of the ministry and a certain image. I had to portray I don't know what the real reason was but I there's a verse in the Bible that I found where Jesus told his disciples He said my soul is exceedingly Sorrowful even to death. I was like somebody understands me My soul is Exceedingly sorrowful. He didn't say my body. Nobody beat him yet. Nobody rejected him Remember, nobody has Judas hasn't betrayed him here yet. Disciples hasn't forsaken him yet Nothing has happened yet and Jesus is already emotionally so At sorrow. He says I want to die Sometimes you may experience that in relationships and I want to speak today into that I really believe this message will bring encouragement and comfort and I also believe that this message will bring strength for those people who are right now married but miserable Let's take a reading from Jesus's portion of the verse in Mark chapter 14 So I've read the verse 34, but I'm gonna take it verse 38. I'm not read one verse watch and pray Lest you enter into temptation the spirit indeed is willing But the flesh is weak I want to share from the story of Jesus how he endured People pain and applied that to relationships because it's the same principles that Jesus endured Jesus applied that will work in your relationship with your spouse Jesus was abandoned He felt alone when he wanted to pray for himself disciples fell asleep He was forsaken by his disciples. He was betrayed by Judas. He eventually was falsely accused by the Pharisees He was physically beaten by Romans. So there was physical abuse Jesus's beard was being plucked out and they mocked him by putting a rope on him and a crown and They blindfolded him and said prophesy who hit you after that the Bible says is they made him carry his cross and Then the scripture says is they blaspheme as he was hanging on the cross and then he died Now some of you I just described your marriage You may say I'm feeling like I'm abandoned. Maybe you feel like you're you're at sorrow Perhaps you're feeling like you're being accused of something or or there's a constant tension and God forbid Maybe you're in marriage today where there is physical abuse Or there's a verbal abuse Blasphemy or there's accusation. There's all kinds of things and you feel broken you feel shattered and you feel devastated The Jesus's crucifixion will come alive today and you will see yourself in it And you will see how to get through it properly and not to become better person But to become better person through that the first thing I would like to highlight is this is Jesus prayed to the father So he doesn't become a pray to the flesh Before he got rejected before he got accused Before Jesus went through a very devastating people pain. I want you to notice he takes time to pray beforehand Why because and he explains why it's because people problems are Temptation for your character He said pray Not because you will be tempted with drugs The temptation for the disciples was not alcohol. It wasn't pornography. It wasn't adultery It was to behave out of character When people cause you pain That's the temptation Your flesh is not only most of us monitor and control and and monitor our flesh when things are have to do with our past sins But most of the sins that we will commit as Christians that will cause very huge damage is going to be sins when people are Mistreating us and Jesus says pray Lest you enter into temptation this verse also applied to him because Jesus would be tempted Not to forgive on the cross but to curse on the cross Jesus would be tempted to get offended when disciples fell asleep and they're not supporting him Jesus would be offended instead of to tell Judas my friend He will say something else Jesus was tempted the same way you are when he experienced people pain people who don't have a prayer life Will live out of their flesh when they can't come into a conflict with another person Either they're married to or they live with and the flesh will cause you to do two main things Close your heart to the person who's hurting you and open their mouth to them flesh will lead you to close your heart immediately and Open your mouth and usually that's what gets us in trouble closed heart and Open mouth and if you notice what Jesus did do is when he was going through a painful thing He first thing he did he opened his heart to his disciples. He said to his disciples He said my soul. He's beginning to actually become so vulnerable He tells them who are sleeping they don't even care that he's suffering right now They're just trying to get some sleep and he opens up his heart to people who it feels like it falls on deaf ears He opens it so much. He becomes so vulnerable. He says my soul is so sorrowful And then the moment he steps into another phase of people attacking him. He zips his lip He muzzles his mouth He puts a mask on his mouth Why to spread? To slow to stop the spread of anger We put masks so that we can slow down the spread of the virus But there is another mask each person needs to have in marriage. It's called closing your mouth So you can slow down the spread of anger because once anger begins to boil up And it begins to take you over you begin to say things you will begin to do things in anger That will cause more damage than demons himself And that's why the Bible says to us it says to be in this verse in James 1 It says my beloved brethren let each when each man be swift to hear Slow to speak and slow to wrath For the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God Have you noticed this says slow down meaning quick quick quick quick quick not to reply Not to respond, but quick to listen God has given you two ears and one mouth for a reason Twice as fast twice as much listening as speaking. I'm gonna tell you how modern marriage works We're a quick to speak Very slow to listen and very quick to get angry and why is that because that's flesh Flesh is controlling your relationship Why is flesh controlling your relationship because you're not living a life of prayer if you don't pray you are a pray Your flesh will haunt you your flesh will take control of your mouth It will take control of your emotions and it will take control of your ears He will close your ears It will close your heart and you will say but I'm a Christian I'm a member of hungry Jen that that's not what Jesus told disciples He didn't say that because you've been with me for three years. You're gonna quickly overcome people problems He says you have to pray I'm gonna ask you if you're struggling in the marriage or in the relationship right now I understand you want me to say a sermon to your husband right now Understand you said please God let him say something that my husband will hear because my husband is here My wife is watching but listen. Let me ask you a question. Have you abandoned your prayer life? Where is your prayer life because if you have a prayer life The Holy Spirit will help you to respond to God in your pain instead of react to the person who's causing it When you have a prayer life something will begin to happen when you have a prayer life It does not mean your spouse will act better. It means you will react better Prayer life does not change your spouse. It changes your attitude Prayer life does not change your children first for prayer life first changes you Relationship with God does not change my wife. It changes my response to whatever she has to bring to me today Relationship with God does not guarantee the people will act right, but it does give you the strength to react right Jesus prayed three times it did not change Pharisees Jesus prayed three times it did not change Judas It did not change disciples none of the people who caused him pain were changed by his prayer You know what was changed Jesus Something was affected in him that he was able to stand in front of accusations Did Jesus have something to say in his defense you bet he did he said nothing because prayer changed that Jesus should have quickly closed down in front of his disciples says I'm gonna tell you nothing Why you're bunch of you're bunch of sleeping saints slumbering saints. I'm saying nothing Keep us sleeping. I'm gonna go and save the world. He opens up his heart Why would anybody risk their heart to be open to people who are not even paying attention? Because when you pray it doesn't change how people act it will change how you respond It will change how you react therefore if you walk out of your prayer and Your spouse your children or people that you live with did not change. That's not what God was after first Jesus's powerful prayer where blood was coming out did not change his critics, but it did change his response And if you walk out of your prayer and your response your attitude is nasty Go back to prayer and come out differently Because God wants to change your reaction God wants to change your response way more than he wants to change your spouse Way more that he wants to change someone else my relationship with the Holy Spirit does not guarantee That somebody else that I am with is going to change first. You say my she drives me crazy Since when did you became a vehicle? since when She became the driver I'm gonna tell you when when your spirit went into the trunk When your spirit is not driving your life your wife will When your spirit does not drive your life your husband will He doesn't drive you the thing is that your spirit is weak and what really drives right now is the flesh and the flesh is Unpredictable and the flesh is what is driving your life right now. It's anger. It's emotions and it's all of those things Adrian Rogers said this he said there's four types of anger. There's a sudden anger. You have to control it There is a sinful anger. You have to condemn it Sinful anger is when you're angry for no reason. You're just angry at a person instead of what they did The third one is the spirit of anger. You need to be delivered from it You need to conquer it and the fourth one is the sanctified anger is you have to channel it And that's the anger where you see some injustice and you want to do something about it And so there's all kinds of anger, but you must understand as a Christian in order to slow down your anger you must open your heart and Close your mouth and in order to do that you don't have ability naturally to do that even Jesus said to us pray and watch Why because your natural tendency is going to be to open your mouth and to close your heart And because of that you will get angry you will slam the doors You will say things you regret you will say things you wish you didn't say and you will do things you wish You didn't do why because the flesh took the driver's seat and because you're weak you blamed it on your spouse But in reality the spirit was weak and the flesh was strong For those of you who like no, I don't need I'm not a pastor. I'm not a prophet I don't need to have a strong prayer life. If you're a husband you need to pray If you're a father you need to pray you need more annoying thing than probably a pastor Because you're a pastor there and those little minions they have a gift from God to get under your skin and That little precious wife of yours She will know how to find that nerve and play with it And that's why you need God more than any other season of your life when you were single You could easily block your sister and walk away from your father and your mother and rent an apartment But you're not a single person anymore. And so you need God you need his presence But what I want to tell you today is this is when you get closer to God You expect that your wife is magically going to change or your husband is going to change I'm gonna tell you that it's not what's going to happen first Jesus says and this way the world will know you my disciples and he didn't say because everyone will treat you right He says because you will love He didn't say you will be loved Mark of discipleship is not that everybody likes you. It's that you will have a proper attitude to those who don't Get somebody say amen Let's give the Lord stop offering. I'm not gonna scream today. Maybe just a little bit I'm just gonna slowly let it let it go in in Jesus name in John chapter 18 verse 11 It's then Jesus said to Peter put your sword into its sheath Shut I shall I not drink the cup which my father has given me point number two Don't spit into the cup of suffering drink it Don't spit into the cup of suffering drink it suffering We are like Peter. We are more prone to kill for Jesus than to suffer with him if there is a job Killing for Jesus on me But the moment there is an opening for suffering with Jesus exclude me from that and Peter was way more excited to go cut somebody's ear off Than to suffer with the Lord and Peter is not the only guy all of us are like that And I really believe before they can be a breakthrough in our relationship. There will be a breaking of our pride There will be a breaking that will take happen as a generation especially Western people people live in the Western countries We have a fear of suffering Charismatic and Pentecostals our fear is on a different level Because we have the anointing we have the power of God We have the promises of God and I'm not talking about today suck suffering of sickness I am not talking about today a suffering from demonic oppression. What I'm talking about is Suffering that is not self-inflicted suffering. That's life inflicted Suffering that is just because you're married just because there's differences just because there's disagreements Just because you both of you are imperfect people that kind of suffering it cannot be avoided no matter how long you pray No matter how many times you've been through deliverance you will have to learn to suffer Otherwise the fruit of the Holy Spirit would not be called long suffering How is that fruit going to be developed if you always avoid suffering? Where that suffering can be developed if not in marriage if not in your family if not sometimes in our finances I know some of you are looking at me right now like a gold to just get hit with the light It's actually in the Bible, but the fruit of the Spirit is love joy peace long suffering What how did long suffering got stuck between peace and kindness? Goodness faithful as gentleness love where did God mixed up the words? Holy Spirit, I thought if the closer I get to the Holy Ghost the more anointing the more power and God sticks long Not suffering is bad And God says if my spirit comes into your life, it would I would think it would say Suffering avoidance overcoming suffering and the Bible says long Suffering some of you like man. I don't want to stay close to the Holy Spirit then If you get close to the Holy Spirit, he will not remove suffering. He will improve your ability to suffer successfully He will help you to suffer long with a good attitude That's what the Bible says. I did not make that up Fruit of the Spirit is long suffering. How are you planning to develop that if you don't have any suffering? And I'm gonna tell you one thing suffering is one of those things you don't need to pray for You do not need to ask God to send your way. You do not need to wish for it You just just live your life Just do your best and the Bible says those who desire live a God the life will suffer Paul says to Timothy he says endure suffering as a good soldier of Jesus Christ now for those of you who think I am not preaching a Martyrdom Christianity I am not preaching that for us to embrace pain and for us to just love pain and expect pain and put Usselves in difficult situations. I'm not talking about that, but we as Christians have to stop spitting in the cup of suffering Because the Christianity that we have embraced from the Apostles They all learned how to have a strong stamina in the suffering. They were not cowards. They were not snowflakes They were not little wishy washy. I can't take this. It hurts so much. No, no, no They took it on they got beaten in the Bible says they rejoice Jesus He was a man of suffering and I understand you live in a nice house. I understand you have a paid-off car I understand and you have a fat retirement account But even if you are in America and all the ducks and the road the spirit of God will not cause you to get through life Without this fruit being developed And so I'm saying what life throws you a curveball when something happens you do not expect when things just you cannot control listen Instead of just cursing it instead of just saying God why is this happening to me? You should say Holy Spirit lead me through this and while we're at it make some fruit out of it Produce something out of it because I am an impatient person because I despise suffering because demons come out of me When I suffer and so fix me Holy Spirit fix my attitude fix my mouth fix this and that why because produce long Suffering inside of me a Leadership expert said this the best leaders had to endure more pain Many people could never have more influence because they do not have a big enough leadership pain threshold If you're not hurting he said you're not leading I Truly believe if you want to go higher in life It's the ability to have a bigger capacity to endure pain For example when you're an employee you have one pain The moment you become an employer your pain goes to another level When you're a single person there is one pain the moment you get married It's another level. It's in other words. God is saying the reason I want to produce the fruit of long suffering because I want to take you Higher and in order to take you higher There is a price one price every person who goes higher is being able to have a higher threshold for pain Because you will get criticized you will be misunderstood you will be called with names and you will have to have an ability a Stimina a backbone to endure that and so sometimes that's why pain happens in our life So God can develop that because that is needed for the next level in your life Can somebody say amen? And so what I'm saying today is that don't just because a little bit of pain came into your marriage Just because a little bit of problems came into your marriage. This is not a moment to quit This is the moment to invite the Holy Spirit say Holy Spirit. We got some work to do Produce within me a fruit of long suffering. Amen That is produced when Jesus was suffering he did not quit on people So that he can end his pain When you are suffering one of the ways we spit into the cup of suffering is we quit on people Knowing it will end our pain a lot of times you're suffering with people you're suffering maybe with your spouse. There's misunderstanding There's there's just there's just things are just not there. Maybe you feel like you fell out of love You you no longer have those feelings So maybe you're a wife and you feel like your your needs are not being met and and there is that pain There is that exhaustion and the enemy will come to you and say if you can only quit on him all of your pain will end and That's really what Jesus was tempted with aren't you glad he didn't quit on you to end his pain Aren't you glad he didn't go into self-preservation mode, but you said well, what about my happiness? We'll get to your happiness in a second But what I want to tell you today is this is sometimes Loving is less painful than losing the person that the devil lies to you if you Quit on them you lose the pain But you will also lose the pleasure you will also lose the blessing I think Jesus looked at the pain of loving us and at the pain of losing us and said that is a greater pain I'll stick with this one if you think If you think that there will be no pain because you walk out from a relationship I'm gonna tell you one thing you'll be faced with the pain. You still don't know it. That is real Divorce doesn't fix things. I'm not saying that there is really no reason that every person needs to stick around With abuse and everything I'll address that in a second, but we must understand many of us are quitters We are we have been brought up in the generation of we're quitting too fast Our our immune system our spiritual immune system has not been developed to take any pain And we only and that's why people take drugs and that's why because they want to only only pleasure But part of Christianity is you have to learn to suffer You have to learn to endure that suffering and sometimes my friend that happens right in your house For a season of your life for a short season of your life Jesus did not quit to end his pain Jesus continued but the second thing that I would like to help you understand from this is that you when you cannot control the Suffering allow the Holy Spirit to help you control yourself One of the fruits of the spirit is self-control Long suffering and self-control. I really think those two they go together Why because the moment suffering kicks in we suffer for a little bit at first and after that control free comes out Because you're like I can fix this I got this all I gotta do is just have my wife sign up for this and up for this I put it if I could just have my husband go to this to this if I could just and then you get him done You get him done and you realize pain is not gone suffering is not gone Disagreements are still there challenges are still there and so then what we do is we our control comes out The more control you exhibit toward your suffering and toward your pain the more complicated your life will be Your life does not get better when you control better It's when you control yourself And after that you give up and you're like you know what I'm done I can't I can't do this anymore and the whole experiences. Well, finally Let me help you to control something that you can actually control what you The fruit of the spirit is not wife control. It's not husband control and it's not even kids control It's not employees control and I see husbands already touching their wives Praise God. God is working already. The fruit of the Holy Spirit is self-control touch your husband or your wife and say list I told you so It's self-control and the last thing I want to share today at the end and we're gonna pray and that is so first We mentioned is we need to live a life of prayer so God can help us to act out of our spirit instead of our flesh We also need to have a healthy understanding about suffering that it's okay to suffer I'm not saying your whole life, but there is a season where you will suffer No great marriage Will be real without suffering you ask any marriage that today you admire and you call them couple goals Ask him about their suffering seasons and they will tell you that they went through some very difficult things No great business succeeded without going through some suffering No pastor or leader has built anything without suffering. And so if you are if you hate suffering success doesn't like you if You hate suffering happy marriage does not like you While you despise that you always run from anything that hurts I'm gonna tell you one thing anything that's good will always run from you mark my words You want to have a good body? You're gonna have to suffer called running eating eating healthy There's no there's nothing good in this world that will come your way if you hate suffering And that's why Jesus is telling us he says I will help you Suffer successfully. I will help you to get through that time and through that season if you want to have a good marriage You will have to go through some things if you want to have a great business You're gonna have to go through some things the precious that the responsibilities if you want to lead a small group Or you want to lead a church there will be precious criticism if you want to do anything that will take you higher The price for it is the threshold for pain has to increase in your life And so I'm using this situation to increase that but if you're always quitting anytime it gets hard my friend You're not allowing the Holy Spirit to produce the fruit of long-suffering Amen, and lastly, what do you do if you can't do it anymore? What do you do if you can give me a little bit more juice if you can't take it anymore Jesus got to that point where the Bible says he was beaten so bad He took the cross, but he could not take the cross anymore. He fell under that cross He couldn't Take another step Physically anymore This would have been a good point to say I quit. You know what changed Christianity and Alexander wrote a song The song doesn't say I quit the song says it's finished Jesus never said I quit He said it is finished But what do you do if you physically cannot take it anymore? That's exactly what he experienced He didn't quit he got help if your marriage is I quit. That's how your marriage ends It should that's not what Jesus wants you to do. That's what the world does You have to even if your marriage comes to an end. It has to come to an end with Finished meaning you've done everything you can and it still did not work Not I quit. Why do people quit because when they're done with their strength You still can get help But this is what usually we say well, I give up on this marriage. Why I can't take it anymore I don't doubt that you cannot take it anymore But did you know you still have some people in your life like Simon who Bible says took the cross and Picked it up for Jesus. Jesus went to the point. He couldn't take it anymore You can have a life group leader. You can have a counselor. You can have a therapist You can have somebody who can come into your life and says let me help you pick up But the problem with many of us is this you're not finished yet Why you quit? Because you're tired you can't take it anymore and I want to encourage somebody here today if you can't take it anymore Get help don't give up Because sometimes and every marriage that went through this point will tell you on the other side when somebody helped you You saw a breakthrough I'm pretty sure Joseph felt like giving up when he was betrayed when he was thrown into prison and then forgotten by the guy He translated the dreams, but I'm so glad he didn't hang himself in the jail cell Jesus, I'm so glad right there before getting on the cross. He says God. I can't take Physically I can't move God says I know but I put Simon there, but God what why? Why would you have me continue even if I can't move because God says now in suffering I don't want you to suffer silently and I don't want you to suffer secretly Get some help But that's when usually most of us will not go to a life group Taking me time That's what you need another person because the suffering now will get affiliated It will get you will get relief from it if somebody comes alongside and gives you help my friend If you can't take it anymore Did you talk to somebody who can help you with your marriage? Did you open up to somebody? Did you go get counseling? Did you go to a church? Did you go to a life group? Did you go or you are avoiding anybody? And yes, you can't take it anymore It's true. God will not give you more strength. He will just give you more people Who will help you carry this if you can't take it anymore? Don't give up get help The people that I've seen who got divorced a lot of times they this is what they say I can't take it anymore and the moment I said let's meet for coffee. No, I can't why they refuse help Because they want this to end this relationship I'm not saying that I will talk him out of it, but I'm gonna tell you one thing This is not a finish line. This is not the finish line This is just where you got finished But this is not where the relationship supposed to finish and that's why you need to get help if you Cannot take it anymore. Number two, you know Pharisees did not need deliverance. Jesus needed help I've met people who and we've seen this in our ministry when that one spouse is doing really bad And the other spouse can take it anymore. This is what they say they bring their spouse dragging The church deliver him. I want you to notice that Jesus did not ask the father to deliver Pharisees He just asked the father to help him It's a help me the Pharisees are the one that had a problem, but Jesus needed help Jesus needed help and so do you if you're suffering you need help Don't give up get help the second thing that I want you to find to see is that Jesus did not drink poison to end his pain Right before he got to the cross the first wine. They gave him was mixed with mirth It was designed to dull Jesus's pain to keep him from having endured the cross with full consciousness That's the wine he ignored He refused if you remember the Bible the Bible says he refused that the second sour wine was given to him on the cross to keep Him conscious for as long as possible Thus having the full effect of prolonging his pain and that's the wine he drunk When you are suffering the second day and you can't take it anymore get help number two is do not drink poison The poison is overeating The poison is clubbing the poison at the time is pornography the poison at the time is gambling The poison at the time is maybe media consumption where you're trying to numb that pain It's not you need to feel it and you to process it properly not numbing it Numbing it will not cause it to go away. What num does num makes you poisonous and then it's not the pain that kills you It's what you took it to numb it that will kill you and Jesus refused that he heard He was hurting. He was bleeding but he says I'm not taking the poison to try to numb the alcohol drugs Other things they will seek to numb your pain when you are suffering sometimes going in and trying to have an affair Or getting emotionally attached to somebody trying to numb that pain my friend I'm gonna tell you one thing that is a poison and that poison will kill you Jesus refused that poison number three is you have to disinfect the wound with forgiveness When he was already on the cross the Bible says is that he forgave those people who caused them this pain Listen very carefully. He did not forgive because they deserved it He did not forgive because they asked for it. None of the Pharisees apologized for causing him that pain He forgave that because what you do the first thing you do when you get wounded is you disinfect it disinfecting hurts This infecting pinches it but you know one thing if I don't disinfect this and I'm getting busy fighting them Then I'm gonna die not from the womb but from the infection that came from not disinfecting the womb Forgiving somebody while you are hurting while they cause that it hurts It pinches you by my friend if you don't do it you will get an infection and when the wound will pass You will die from that infection and God does not want you to die spiritually from an infection Come on somebody are you with me? Forgiving them doesn't make it right for giving them doesn't make it perfect for giving them That's not mean that pain will stop that forgiving them is for you not for them Many of them will never even benefit from it, but you will and Jesus did not Let the wound become an infection How do I know that because three days later if he came with the scars? I'm gonna tell you what disinfects your wounds. It's forgiveness Forgiveness is hard Especially when you are suffering forgiveness is difficult especially when you're suffering But if Jesus did it we can learn from him and we can do it too And the last thing is you have to distance yourself from people who refuse to repent But not destroy them or divorce them The problem that happens when people don't change and you forgive them and they keep on doing the same thing Many of us what we do is we do two things. We either destroy that person or we divorce them What's the right thing to do is first to distance yourself from them and let God work on them from a distance Look at Jesus He gets wounded. He gets abused Physically by Pharisees Roman soldiers and everything with the moment he gets raised from the dead He does not go to hang out with them For 40 days you don't see Jesus Chilling with the Pharisees Not once he goes to his disciples. He does not go into public meetings where they are present He did that for three and a half years until they cause them that much pain He forgave them but forgiving them does not mean he will put himself into their environment again He loved them from a distance and guess what happened God saved the biggest Pharisee of all Apostle Paul and Guess what happens in a book of Acts the Bible says and many of the priests came to the Lord a lot of times when you still put Yourself in that place and you say that but I forgiven them. I can't leave him I can't ask him to leave the house if he's physically abusing me He has nowhere to live if you throw Jonah overboard God will find him a fish God rescued Jonah When the sailors realize enough is enough This guy is causing a storm and he can't be in this boat and they gently put him over say God Please forgive us, but you took care of him and got to care of him and God stopped the storm There are people if you are living in a sexually or physical abusive relationship If a person is keeps cheating on you and keeps saying sorry and keeps doing the same thing He should not be in your house I'm not saying you should divorce him. He should get a different place You should distance yourself. Why because that is how God can work on him all the fight this this myself He will leave me. He will leave you no matter what I'm gonna destroy him. That's not what God wants you to do That's your bitterness speaking But if you get better something begins to happen and I've seen we've seen couples the moment his spouse Put some boundaries up and saying you know what if you do that again, you can't be in this house I'm not saying I'm divorcing you but you cannot stay within my proximity if you treat me like that The moment they set the boundary it wake up We wakes up the guy like crazy because he begins to finally for the first time in his life consequences a slap right into his face And he has a choice to make whether I stay in this relationship or I stay in my in my abusive if he seeks help God will help him and then God will restore him and God will renew the relationship Don't let nobody lie to you just because you forgave the abuser that means they need to be in your life Just because you forgave the person the cause you're paying that means that you need to have a relationship with them Forgiveness takes one reconciliation takes two if they did not change There's no relationship Even Jesus did not model that he got raised on the dead he did not show up to Pharisees most should you my friend So that tells us is there need we need to protect our heart We need to have boundaries in our life and people who continuously commit unrepentance is who cause harm to you And cause harm to children. They should not be allowed to live with you as though they are repent Amen, I want us to pray today for people and I know our time is way past If you are going through a relationship right now problem, perhaps you just got divorced or you are going through something that maybe even There's divorce papers already in the in the court system or things are really really difficult in relation You say I need somebody to pray for me today. I would like to pray for you today We're gonna pray for you today, but before we do that. I want you to rise to your feet Every head bowed and every eye closed If you're in this room, or you're watching us on live shim and you have not given your life to Jesus Christ Perhaps you're coming in today and you realize that you are not right with God You're not there where you're supposed to be with God And you would like to come back to the Lord today You would like to recommit your life to Jesus today. You're saying you know what I walked away from Christ or I have not I Have not lived out my faith for many years already and I would like to come back to God today It's my day. I know that and how I know that Jesus is beating on your heart right now It's beating faster and faster your palms are getting sweated It's a God touching you right now and God is saying you need to come back to me son You need to come back to me daughter If you're one of those people who doesn't have a relationship or or have a lost of relationship with the Lord And you would like to come back to God on the count of three I'm gonna ask you to raise your hand one two three just raise that hand high. Thank you. Thank you Thank you. Thank you. I see your head. Thank you Thank you Let's pray the prayer together right now with me. If you had your hand raised you can put it down right now Let's pray together. I want you to say Lord Jesus I repent of all my sin. I Ask you please wash me with your precious blood. I Am a sinner in need of your mercy Come into my heart right now Make me new and make me yours in Jesus name. Amen