 How's it guys? So the other day, my little boy, he's out there in the playroom and he's got his box of Lego and he's putting them all together and he's talking to himself, you know what, three and a half year olds are like, and he spends a half an hour building something and he comes through to the kitchen and goes, daddy, daddy, daddy, look, look, look, look what I've made, right? And he holds it up to me, this thing, right? And his face is full of expectation. And I look at it and I go, wow, that's awesome, man. I love all this so cool, you've got all this other thing. And this got me thinking that he certainly created something from, you know, part of Lego bricks. And his first thought was to rush through and show me what he had made. He was so proud of what he had made that he wanted to share it with somebody. He wanted to share it with me, you know, his dad, and see my reaction. If I had sat there and gone, yeah, Ash, that doesn't really look like a car, does it now? Right? Or I was just like, yeah, I can't be bothered right now. Then he would have felt hurt. I believe I think, you know, anybody who's a parent probably can relate to that feeling. And it reminds me of us as creative people, you, me, everybody else who's watching us, we all creative in some degree. But as much as we'd like to hide behind this aura of, well, if you don't like it, I didn't make it for you, so it doesn't really matter. There is within all of us a nugget, no matter how small, of this need, like in my little boy, to be validated almost in the creative thing that we have made. Certainly by people whose opinions matter to us. A few weeks ago, Dave, one of the viewers of the channel sent me an email talking about this. He said, look, you know, you talk about, oh, well, you're making something for yourself. And I do believe, first and foremost, that ultimately, you know, at the very core of what we do as creative people, you need to make creative things that are for yourself first and foremost. And he said, but you can't just lean on that as a crutch. You can't just say that's a catch all for when other people don't like it. Because we do. We do all want, in some small way, some validation from people. Because when you create art, when you create something from nothing, it's not the same as creating a television remote in a factory, just an assembly line thing. Because, you know, the person who put this together probably doesn't even care one iota about whether or not I think this is a rubbish remote. But you, you create something and it's got you in it. It is inherently born of your soul. You have birthed this thing. And as much as, you know, if you're a parent and somebody says, well, I don't like your child, you sort of, you go, well, it's like you don't sit there and go, well, I didn't make him for you. You take offense. You get upset or you get annoyed. And same as if somebody goes, oh, I really like your child. Such a joy. You feel pride in these things. And that is like our art. The things that we create is that, you know, we like it when people give us praise and we get our backs up when people give us criticism or say negative things about it. And in Dave's email, he said, you know, look, okay, so well, maybe we never talk about this. Maybe nobody ever talks about how infuriating it is, the struggle, the internal turmoil that you feel when you are a creative person and you put something together that people go, I don't like it. How does that make you feel? You said, is it too hard? Is it too hard of a topic to talk about? This is the fourth iteration of this video. So maybe it is too hard a topic to talk about. But I wanted to give it a try anyway, because, you know, there are people, myself included, who struggle under this burden, this weight of being afraid to show exactly what we are capable of because we're worried about what other people will think about it. And in short, doing things for yourself is part of that, is part of building up there. But I hide behind, oh, my work's personal, so I don't really show it. Because deep down, I'm actually, I'm worried. I'm worried that people won't like my photographer. I'm worried that, you know, they won't like the photographs. And they will say something negative. And that's a hard thing to admit because, you know, there's so much pressure, I suppose, in the modern world for all of us to be positive, to never say that I have doubts. You know, everything should be great. Everything should be a picture perfect world where, you know, it's all it can do. But sometimes, we need to address the fact that it's not always roses. It's not always great. There was a time when I probably didn't really care too much about what people thought about my photography. So when was that time when I didn't care about really what people thought? But it was probably when I was just a child, when I had my Spider-Man camera and all, you know, I just wanted Dad. Dad was the only person who I really wanted to like my photographs, much as my son just, you know, wants me to like his Lego work. But obviously, as we get older, we start to build up a picture of people who we want to please without photography. And we allow little things to gain foothold, pernicious little things to eat into us. There's a scenario that happened to me when I was a student and I did some headshot work for some actors at the theatre that I worked at. And, you know, they delivered the photographs and they paid me the money and, you know, so, yes, thank you very much. They're all pretty cool, you know, so very good. And then later on, later on in the bar after the show, they didn't know I could hear them. But they were talking about my photographs and they were saying, and that has stuck with me. That has stuck like an albatross around my neck for the 30 odd years that I have, that have passed since I heard that. And at the back of my mind, every time when I take a photograph or show somebody a photograph, I hear those voices. I hear them saying that they're going to say to my face, it's all cool. They're going to say, oh, we really like to do that. But really, they're going to go off and they're going to say, you know, your work sucks. And that's why I'm afraid. I'm afraid of showing lots of my work because as much as there could be many people who would go, I like what you do, right? I'm afraid for that one person who goes, oh, I don't like her. So why? Why are we, why are you, why is everybody else who watches? So focused on hanging on to these criticisms. Baz Lerman said in his famous song, Sunscreen, which I'm a big fan of, that we should learn to remember the compliments and learn to let go the criticisms. And then of course he says, if you find out how to do this, let me know how. And I think that there is ways that we cannot necessarily stop us worrying about criticism, but mitigate its effect on us. Mitigate is debilitating effects on us as creative people. And that is to make a big deal about compliments that we do get. Don't just dismiss things because it's like, well, what is, you know, if your wife or your partner or someone says, I really like that photograph. Don't dismiss it out of hand because, well, they're not artists. What would they know kind of thing, which is, which is, I tend to lean towards these things that, that while it's nice to get the compliment initially, I will then sit and over analyze those compliments and think, oh, well, yeah, but they don't really know, you know. And then I sort of think that those, those them, them, those, those fake people in the background, not physically fake people, but, you know, the voices in your head that start saying, oh, well, you're doing this wrong, you're doing that wrong, what have you. And you think, well, if they saw the photograph, they would, they wouldn't like it, they would pick it apart. And so rather than holding on to those compliments that come from people who have no reason to blow smoke up your backside, we dismiss them. And conversely, we hold on to those people in the bar 30 years ago. He says my work was rubbish. I hold on to the person who 10 years ago in my studio sat and, and I thought was going to punch me. He was so anti about the photographs that I created. Not from a visual point of view. I have to say more from a financial aspect. But still, all of these things hurt because I took them as personal slights. I took them as personal attacks on me. And so we need to do two things. You need to kind of, first of all, you know, remember the compliments. And the best way to do this is to, first of all, you know, if you are able to print them out or screenshot them or whatever, just keep them. I used to put up all the positive reviews that I got and they were overwhelmingly positive from my studio and put them up on the wall behind me to put them up on the screen, on the wall behind my screen. So that when there were days, and there are lots of days when you kind of go, I don't know if I'm any good at this. I'm doubting myself. People don't seem to like what I do. That makes me feel like a failure as a person. You can look at these words and remember that there are people who do like what you do. We should be proud of the fact that we created something that other people liked and conferred. If you have these criticisms, if you have these voices of people who say, I don't like what you do. If it's a valid criticism, then you go, well, okay, thank you. I'll take your message on board. If it's somebody who just goes, do you know what? You've taken a picture of a bear and I don't like bears. So therefore your picture is rubbish. Then you know, okay, fine. Leave it out. There was a comment on a video recently, one of the Urban Pen videos, which I'll link to in the description, that says, I've got this for art and it sucks. Now, does that mean that he's been shown this video for his art class and the video sucks? Which would be kind of, that was my first reaction. Or does he mean that he is now having to learn about Urban Pen for an art class and he thinks Urban Pen's work sucks? In which case, I think if Urban Pen was still alive, he probably wouldn't mind. So much, but who knows, right? Oh, maybe he would see this. He knows. So you can see how you can interpret these things in so many different ways. But ultimately, see what I did there, we spent 10 seconds talking about a positive comment and now 30 seconds of the vote talking about how to deal with negative comments and over analyzing what the person has said. So if the comment is not constructive, if it's not whatever, then just go, okay, fine, we'll put it in file 13 and have done with it. And if you know how to do that, then yeah, let me know. Being a creative person, putting yourself out there is an act of bravery. And I've been guilty of the past of being, chicken's not the wrong word, but not being brave enough to grasp the thistle of showing some of my work publicly. And it's time that we remember to use all the compliments that we get with our art, our photography as an armour of sorts, as a plate that we can build up around ourselves to say, yes, you know, there will be people who this is not for you, this is not for you. And we can say, well, I didn't make it for you, but rather than hiding behind that as our shield from the world and being hidden from the world, we can then wear instead all of these these compliments and say, well, you know, you may think that all these other people, they don't, they say that I like what you create. I like the photography that you have made. And that's okay, because that's how the cookie crumbles. It's not a perfect solution. It's not that it's not going to make you super 100% confident and super 100% brave in your creative journey. But it's going to help. It's going to help to remind you that everybody, all of us, me, you, everybody else who watches these these videos struggles with these concepts from time to time that anybody who says they're 100% always confident and always brave and does not care one eye over about their photography, about what the public think is probably lying. Usually at the end of a video, I will go, hey, you know, watch this video. But I just wanted to say because this is this is a thing. And I think this has been a heart and sleep moment that I deeply appreciate everybody who watches the channel, everybody who comments or doesn't comment. Just you're just watching the channel. It's all of these things, these little increments have given me some armor now to be able to be more open, to be able to be more confident in front of this camera that, you know, and you because I'm talking to you right now. And less worried about what other people say, the negative comments, because very early on at the beginning of this channel, when we when I was at the birth of the channel, maybe five videos in, there was a gentleman who said in the comment and they were long lengthy comments about how I was peddling nonsense and being one of the horde of idiots on YouTube, not knowing what they were talking about. And that was hurtful at the time. It was extremely hurtful to hear all this and to read those comments. And I could have given up. I was very close to stopping the channel then. And if I had have done that, then, well, I wouldn't be here being able to talk to you today. So that's a very long winded way of saying I really appreciate you watching the channel. I appreciate your support. I appreciate you being here. I appreciate everything that you offer me both, you know, from a commenting point of view or just simply watching. It's wonderful to have you here and I just want to say thank you.