 That's because they're what new borns you think you can drown them? No, it's not how the world works, man. Are we live Matt? We're there. We're there. We're here. Episode number eight, and it is a SAT day morning. We've never done a morning podcast have we? This is the first one. So I figured out something just then, guys. Oh no, so, you know the word here. Yeah, you put a tea on it hot and it's there. That is fucking insane We're filming a podcast on Saturday morning because we are on holidays next week. So we're filming two in one week So obviously we haven't had a chance to look at your questions and shit from the New podcast because the new podcast isn't out yet while we're recording this does that sort of make sense or Yeah, so excuse our slight veer from the normal Proceedings, but we have got a jam packed episode. Yeah, I guess so we haven't got we don't really have questions We don't have a box. Um, we'll figure some shit. I mean sorry comment of the week Like we don't fucking let's talk more about that here and there shit. Have you read that? That's in the Bible Yeah, yeah, it's it's in your Bible. It's very important. I understand. I'm very proud of that Yeah, thank you. This is the last thing we have to do and then we we're on like eight days break and that is exciting We never have mid-year breaks. It's not even mid-year. It's like a third. It's quarter year. I don't get a break Matt has to Matt's fridge isn't gonna get delivered now because he's here He's losing all these me all these meats going rancid Oh But we got a solution he's gonna now use this fridge. We'll see how we go a morning pod We've never done a morning pod your bong breaks will be interesting. Oh, I haven't smoked weed in the morning since Vietnam Anyway, what's this shit talk about? It's fucking that's it. We just did it was only fucking three to four days ago We fucking filmed a potty We've just been working since and what the website video be out right now the mini golf mayhem that Fucking worked out so well for you. Yeah, like I'm I should win. Oh, we won't go into it because yeah, Michael is much Golf yeah, it's out yesterday I should have won and like I fucking played my fucking guts up Can't and end up fucking destroying the fucking dumb can't come to Matthew Brown since you wouldn't have seen it And well, you haven't seen it right now, but you won't watch it We'll explain it to you we played nine holes And if you lose a hole there's a punishment each hole you lose a different punishment each one Yeah, baby different and you're punished every time bar one. Yeah only one hole I didn't get punished if you tie both of you have to do the punishment Do you think it's possible to break a golf driver over your back? Yeah, I think it would be Okay, interesting Well, at least the head would probably come off remember when James hit hit that thing. Yeah, but that's a rock This is a human body. Let's just say that it's very flexible and the head wraps around and Smashes you it can be a double whammy baby. It's a double hit. It's dead and and we put it in slow motion So I'm looking forward to seeing that. I'm just stressed about my fridge to really care. Yeah, and that's very worried about His meat going rancid so he needs it's a bit annoying I did give them the option of taking access to my building and putting it in the alright Well, let's name and shame and what what company is this? What company is this man? No, the name is a good guys. The fucking good guys have never been good They're not very good. What's this slogan pay less pay cash. Yeah, what is that really? Yeah, man Fucking great reset happens man. Fuck those dumb bitches, man I was just they seem pretty flexible and the guy on the phone was pretty good. It's like a sarcastic name, isn't it? But um, but yeah, they they said they're not allowed to go into Detail they're not allowed to go into detail Personal stuff and I'm not there Why buy a fridge new Hey, what my fridge new because I was easy only needed a little one No, you get one of your gins in it And so you don't fucking care how a fridge looks and then you get like 300 bucks off the fridge take Michaels It was too late now. I got mine for like a hundred bucks. That's not bad. Anyway Look, that is a shit talk. Let's let's get move right along to our sponsors Nord VPN Since it's the same week we're filming this podcast. We don't know if they've extended their Sponsorship so we're gonna skip this one. Yeah 110% so Just give that one a little fucking break and fucking You look you don't look like it. You can have a week off everyone find out next week No, fuck it. No, you don't have to sign up. All right, don't sign up right now And in fact, subscribe unsubscribe Nord VPN and give them a break Moving along to our Our loyal sponsor man scraped Go to man scraped com. They got some fucking male grooming shit. That'll blow your tits off cunt They got fucking hair You can buy hair body spray. This shit is just for your body. You don't buy it. Yeah, you can buy really Human hair you can buy now and you can glue it to yourself if you're bald Holy fuck, let's get something brown man. Scape.com use our discount code fully actual 20 for 20% off Everything that you see before you man scape.com. They got heaps of cool shit. They got the best shaver They're up to the lawnmower 4.0 And let me tell you it is getting it's better than the iPhone. It's better than die-hard Let's say that I use it to cut my grass. I use it to send text messages and emails That's how advanced they are now man scape.com fully actual 20 go and fucking get it done cunt That was good that was a good add I would buy that if I would be think I'm gonna buy more Actually, I might get sent some and the other other sponsor of course is our very own subscription website the University of Michael where we post weekly fucked fucked videos There's over 200 on there now cunt and it fucking funds all this dumb bullshit cunt with their shit We can't fucking post anywhere in the fucking world on social fuck off cunt and right now There's fucking over 200 fucking cunts on there cunt You sign up fucking 21 days for freeing the fucking link description cunt or university Michael dot com cunt and you fucking see if you like the cunt cunt cunt Content cunt and then stay on if you fucking felt like and you dumb bitch Yeah swearing He's good for So much it's good for culture, it's great business. Yeah. No, I had someone that who I won't name they they came up to me They said oh I really wanted to watch your podcast but all I heard was cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt and I just turned it off That person can get fucked wow no, man It's the people what is on person who said that I'm not getting into a work colleague Maybe was it a work colleague them. How old were they? 50 no Yeah, those yeah with a female or male male Okay, damn it. Well, let us know in the comments people. No look I'll put it to the people. We are a podcast of the people. Let us know do we swear too much Let us know if you would like us to pull back on the swearing because you would like to show your nephew or niece What why do they call it that? Yeah, me It's silly there's a city called nice. Yeah, and there's a city called nephew. What of it Moving right along moving right along. I wonder how the prank call will go this morning I'm gonna pretend to be Rhonda again. I guess smashed in the morning and we'll fucking um And we'll we'll fucking like call like a pub and like hammered past can't yeah and say look I'm I'll tell her I'm having my teller you having my my no my my sister's cancelled my 60th At my house because my husband won't allow it So I'm gonna come down to the pub and have my 60th there And then you go into it blah blah blah and just demand all this shit that you want for your party Yeah, it is my 60th and go off real particular particular types of alcohol Because then they'll be like no, sorry you need to organize this pre pre-organize it Yeah, yeah pre-organize it and like that then you get like no and then you can go into like how they're abusing you and say that They've struck at you and hit you in may know Matt Brown's standing. Oh He's worried about the fridge. Let's check in his phone. He's got glasses on today He's expecting a call about the fridge. Is that correct brown because he's fucking absolutely hungover It's fucking his eyes are redder than a fucking burn Bitch, he's been playing red. Did you play some red dead? On this day On this day in 2021 hyenas gave birth to Mel Gibson Mel scavenged with the pack of hyenas until he was a mature teenager He was then caught by poachers and fell in love with one of them Mel and the poacher ran away together to Hollywood Mel Gibson started acts acting lessons to learn to be more human Although his transformation was incredible to this day. He still sometimes laughs like a hyena Especially when he's around carcasses and corpses. It's awkward taking him to funerals. Hey Did you know that my mom has met Mel Gibson? That's so stupid. Did he try and hit her? I don't know. I don't know what happened. I can't it was like a drama thing your mom probably could have Fucked him if she probably did. She might have man. Holy shit. You could be you could be Maybe I You do look like a long male sperm. I am Mel Gibson, but I just realized I need a fucking smoke weed for this shit No, I know you when he's give me some fruit Well, I guess We're back. All right, it is time for Michael's Bible. Oh, yeah, yeah, Michael's Bible entry Fucking I hope man. I can't believe I forgot about that there in here shit. That's that's some crazy stuff We might have to um, yeah, it's right about it. I think I have once I just forgot Okay, look at that for you. I'm okay Michael's Bible. I've just flipped open to a random page. It just so happens to be chapter seven verse eleven from the book of When is is Isn't life funny People always want to know what is is when the real question should be when is is If you can identify when is is what is is will reveal itself You can then be Worrying about what means when can pass you by without you even realizing Concentrate on when is is and do it without even knowing what is is like if when is is is at around 230 then what is is is whatever is at 230 and and you know that because you figured out when is I Skidded my tires when I was riding my bike last week love Beezus That is fucking good shit So don't focus on the what? Focus on the when because that whatever's happening when the time is right is the what? So when is what Matt basically you go out sort of saying there considering that last part If you could not turn your bike and do a skid and like sort of slide out on your bike as a kid You just keep you were a loser Yeah, and you well keep going straight to and if you need a turn you're gonna have to could you do the fucking turn skid? Yeah, you know plant your you were a loser. No, I perfect posture I would never my buttocks would never leave the seat and I would ride safely. Oh You see your skid going completely straight What about you mr. Brown now it's alright. Yeah, man was it based on the scooters you have the dark tires Scoot around to the Gold Coast you go great concrete and do little skid marks fucking He's that's where his obsession with concrete began when he was doing skids on them I'm like a fucking really Holy shit It's time for some really sickening Sickening stuff here Let me just open to a random page in this book And it is of course is Matt's little brown Little black brown book whatever it's fucking cool It's not good it's not good at all Matt Brown Have number five I Was working as a trolleyboy at Woolies one summer I was walking through the car park hunting for any strain trolleys I would practice stalking the trolleys catching them and bringing them back to my pretend layer where the trolleys go Sometimes I would twist and thread my penis in and around the steel frame of the trolley. I loved my job One fateful evening that all changed. I was molesting myself near a trolley when I Saw her near the Woolies entrance a morbidly obese woman in a wheelchair was struggling to place her groceries in the car through her window She was wearing a large pregnancy dress Something was drawing me to her. I sniffed the air and caught a scent Familiar Hmm Then I remembered that scent that morbidly obese lady in the wheelchair was the deaf tuck shop lady that worked at my high school I'd always found her so appealing I bound it over to her backwards of course and turned to face her when I reached her her tits hung down to her hips And she had large thick glasses on which magnified her eyes She had sweat droplets on her upper lip and her mouth was a gape My nipples scrunched up into little black salt harness my arse cheeks crackled with heat Miss switch quit. Do you remember me? I am Matt Brown. I graduated from Golco's special secondary school last year I was the only one who was asked for raw meat in my meat pies No, bro You can't come out. How can I forget? Do you grown up, Maddie? Yes, that's me all grown up Please let me help you with these Groceries I started putting the groceries in the car and I couldn't help but have a little flirty flirt Miss wedge quit. Is there a mister wedge quit? No, not to me. I don't think I lunged forwards and rammed my tongue down her throat all the way down So far down the tip of my tongue was flicking the bile in her stomach I grabbed either side of her head and pulled her into me our lips mashed together with such force that they were Ripping and tearing our lips and gums apart. I pulled back to see your reaction. She was in utter shock What are you madman? I am From planet quelch my shot forwards again, and we kissed with such passion that my back grew moss I kissed her face all over at great speeds She was kissing right back and hungrily sucking on my tongue and face Do what you want with me She said a saliva bubbles dribbled down her fat chin I put my hand in her armpits and lifted her I spun her around and jammed Jammed the top half of her body through the open car window Now only a bottom half protruded from the car window I lifted her massive dress to reveal the huge chunky damaged legs and ass of this deaf tuxob lady I pulled her huge shit stains panties down and my little brown Burrowed out of my pocket. I smeared my pre-mince across her buttocks Fed my little brown in between a few fat rolls roughly in the center in hopes I would find the nest she groaned with pleasure As my stiff stiff flesh shoe found its target by now a small crowd of people had stopped what they were doing and Were looking over but once I was inside of this forbidden fruit I had lost it after for my teenage years. I could not stop. I fucked deep and Sorrow I smashed hard Fuck fuck fuck fuck her brains in people started screaming in horror as my grip tightened on her hips And my fucking intensified the fat deaf tuxob lady was bellowing with pleasure And then I flooded her guts with mints thick black mints Onlookers started screaming and I had to unplug my little brown in a weakened state. I realized what I'd done I see my boss coming sprinting towards me. I have no choice. I can never come back I start bounding backwards and make eye contact with a deaf tuxob lady one last time Thank you. She says with mints gushing from her slit. No Thank you. I say and bound away backwards. Oh my god, dude That is one of the most intense ones yet Just putting it through the window He remembers a bit of it Oh, yeah, wow, she knew you weren't from planet Man that was very very, thank you. It was very very wasn't it was some very very shit You were molesting yourself. Holy fuck dad priest. I was a trolley pusher. Very very All right, what are you next on the agenda man? Um, all right, we got the fucking Is it time for bachelor brown? Brown brown brown brown bachelor brown He's always behind you. He's always behind you bachelor brown brown brown We have to look at him. He's right behind you. He's right behind you Oh Fucking hell the neighbors in the morning, but what the fuck's going on bachelor brown is going on And we Now we have some developments with our bachelor brown Don't we mr. Brown? You have come to us this morning with some great great news Would you like to share with our viewers what has been Happening I don't think I want to know Well, oh, well nothing nothing much is going on. Oh, okay. I've just been talking to one of them in particular I was chatting with jasmine Yeah, and um, and we hung out we went for a river walk Did she say yes Yes, the what the marriage he advances So matt brown has gone on a date On a date with one of the bachelor brown ladies now It's funny that he mentions this because we had a bit of an inkling that he might be So we we even this fell through but we messaged jasmine and we said You guys should go on a date you tell us where you're going and michael and I will arrive We'll be there when you get there and we're even gonna with we thought about the idea further. We're going to Contact the restaurant And see if we could dress as the waiters. Oh, holy fuck And then we were going to yeah They're gonna want that help you on your date, but so foiled because they had a sneaky day already We're gonna drug you we already I already had this inkling that that was on the cards that you're gonna try and fuck with me And so the like we met at this place and when I got there, I was like, they're gonna fuck with me They're gonna this whole things are like a Did you think it was gonna be in the water? um, no, what I thought was like I'm gonna be sitting there waiting and you guys are gonna be like Coming out laughing and I was like, oh no and saying I had anxiety about it And I was like fuck and then she was she ran like five minutes late, which is definitely something you guys would do And I was like, oh no, this is this is fucked. So I backed myself into like a corner and got your hackles up and just so I could see everything that was coming towards me But then uh, she rocked out and she was cool. Oh you guys had a day my friend had a day It's working the bachelor brand is working now she's 20 and maddie's mad and maddie's 15 years her senior So when you were 15, she was a newborn baby So when you were celebrating your 18, you would have seen a lady carrying a baby A three-year-old baby and you would have been like, I'm gonna go on a date with that one day When you were five she was minus 10 She was not even in like a she wasn't even a sperm yet come Anyway, anyway, we we all we did was hang out and it was very cool did some coloring in we did some coloring in and And learned your reading words for the week What's she like though, I'm not telling you guys anything. No, no, no, I'm all serious this man. No, she was cool I don't know. Yeah, we had a few things in common and what did you have in common? Not telling you that and so I officially together is she she moved in? No, nothing. I just know I went That's not really the fridge that you worry about you want to go see her right now She's in the fridge. She's chopped up and she's in the fridge. That's that's the meat. He doesn't want to go off It's her chopped up body in the freezer. Can't Okay, so the bachelor brand segment is working He's talking to a few of the other ones of other girls. Don't get disheartened though. Okay. I've seen him change his mind like that like If something shiny it comes along Maybe something a few months younger like that. He will change his mind last week's um Last week's one from england. Um, she's cool too. I had a chat with her and she was telling me how she ended up in Like a crazy relationship with like a columbian drug dealer. Wow, she was cool. So from drug dealer to Brown I was thinking we should you know how we have a thing for the comments We should have a little whiteboard just so we can constantly edit it and just have the names of the top three girls In the running Because we have to have the three at the end of the year so we know So we might as well have it written down so we know we're on top of it It just makes it easier to record and obviously number one two obviously jasmine's number one right now. Don't worry I don't want to and then we have number two and number three And then when new ones come they can try and knock them off their purchase and that man And then it's like it's like um, it's like harry potter ninja. I'm gonna be like similar to quidditch I don't want a sort of show. It's that quidditch. Yeah that or the ninja show where you I don't want the top three. I I'd so badly don't want the top three So no to happen that I'm willing to beg jasmine to date me to get you away from me. Well, look I'm not gonna do that. Unfortunately. We will have to continue with a bachelor brown segment regardless of um your Relationship status exactly exactly right, but um look we can be respectful if you do fall in love We can be even more respectful Yeah, well, she can live with you as you have the other three Stop and then when it comes to the final three like maybe just hang out with the other two there Like it's just a bit of a fun like oh, yeah cool Maybe and then you can fuck them off and spend your days with jasmine But you're gonna move in you will die before she will do all I did All I did was go on a river walk with jasmine and that was it and we got along well That's all wow was very Nice company. Well, we've got a new one today. Okay. What's her name? Ruby I believe ruby memories not fucked spoke to her last night She is in love with you. Dude. She's a gem. She loves you. I'm pretty sure. Okay. Oh, where is she? How old is she? Oh, here she is here. She is here. She is Is this Kathy This is kath She likes kath for short kath Kathy freeman have kath Been all right. Here we go. Here we go. She's ready now. She's ready now. Here we go Matt get your fucking mince churning con. This is it. This is fucking it, baby I'm nervous for you. This one could be the one I'm nervous. I'm nervous. God here. All right. Here we go Here we go. Here we go bachelor brown brown brown brown brown brown. He's always behind you He's always right behind you. He knows where you live. He knows how you smell He knows your blood type Still no answer. Oh no, we've been lucky That sounds like wrestling oh Kathy thank the lord Thank you. Oh, you must have been rushing for your phone. You must have been oh, I can hear it, but I can't see it I can't miss this with matthew brown I was waiting for it. I knew it was going to be next week, but to find out it was this week. Oh my god Yeah, thank you so much for coming up on such short notice. You've already won so many brown knee points with us because Matt she's excited to talk to you. All right. Well, look I won't I won't get in the way any further. Yeah, don't make me do any jokes or songs And I'll let you to have a little chat in complete not a private. All right. I'll just move And we'll be over here minding our own business. Tell you guys get to know each other tell her about jasmine Dude, she has to know about jasmine Quiet quiet late. Good morning, kath How are you? I'm good Where whereabouts are you kath? Where are you from? That's that's pretty good You're in melbourne where in melbourne are you from? Uh upper france regali in victoria and what um street address Tell her about jasmine dude. I'm gonna sing me yours and I'll come up to you Matt's seeing someone we can't lie to you Look, I'm not seeing anyone. Look kathy. Um, I don't know if you're aware. Sorry to interrupt your date here But I don't know if you're aware, but We have to be up front with you just because that's type of people we are matt did go on A little date with one of the ladies from bachelor brown, but do not fear You are automatically in the top three. So I think she's number one again now. Oh, no, she's number one Why would you say I would love kathy now, dude, but I'm gonna find it. I had to date go matt All we did was just go for a little walk. She's kathy's jealous cat. It's nothing I'm sorry, I'm sure ours will be better. Oh, that's pretty good Uh, thank you Um, this is just so exciting speaking to you. Why did why would you want to come on here? Why? I have to know Why yeah, I'd be the best day of my life. I couldn't explain why we are the it's the best podcast We are the best man in the world. We were pretty clear about that. Did they force you to come on here? I feel like that was a bit forced No, dude, she's no way She's in love with you I don't think any of this is forced So kathy, tell us a bit about yourself. So how old are you exactly how much money do you earn? Um, how tall are you and um, what's your uh, Fire family status. She's got a two Um, well, I am 22 22 I do work two jobs, so I try and earn as much bank as possible Sit down spoil matt and buy him nice things Oh He loves you. I'm pretty sure He's all clammy he's skin touch him feel him up. Do you like that? Did he yeah, he's got a big brown smile on his chin I always think the girl should spoil the man as well. That's so perfect Love the way street again. He's going to shine into himself We've my oh look it's my that should definitely say some sort of poem even if it's just a rose red violet just cool Say some cool Violets of blue Run run or the brown will get you Oh And now she's more in love with you than ever. I'm getting sparkles in my eyes All right, kathy, that's perfect. Thank you so much for jumping on on late notice. No, thank you. I wasn't happy and And um, we'll you know matt brown's instagram is matt brown and then stupid Three other matt browns who beat him to it. So he's just gone So give him a little cheeky dm on instagram and he will start courting you like you've never been You know that feeling that that you have like someone's watching you From now on that will always be correct Goodbye, it's only from that brand so I feel special if it's coming from him. Goodbye kathy. It's good to me That was so sweet of you to say goodbye. Beautiful. All right. Thank you so much kathy Goodbye He said good before bye Hang up on her accident. All right, dude. Is she number two or number one? Oh, she sounds like a bubbly Like a like a have a long long relationship Dude That is it. Matt you have now got a like a choice. You sounded very lovely. You've got a hard working 22 so she's a bit closer to your age not by much She's a bit closer to your age And she's got two jobs man, which means that you can leech from her. I wonder what her jobs are. I should ask that Yeah Yeah, maybe that's an interesting question other than wherein melbourne. Do you live? Yeah, holy shit. It doesn't matter. She lives in melbourne. She'll move up here for you brown It doesn't matter what sub her if she's in baby. Maybe I'll move to melbourne No, no podcast. Yeah Well, yeah, I reckon holy shit. You got a choice. It's either her or jasmine So far and yeah, there's others talking to him and you're still in with a shot But you really need to put in some work now if you want to catch a taste That brown mints splashed across your chin as you finish sucking him You can't say that You can't say that that goes out there to the stratosphere in the world. There's the brown wants it Oh man, yeah, that's gotta be tough if I actually had to pick three it'd be tough choices No way. I reckon you've got easy marriages all of them. You can marry every single one Like there's there's a couple that really they were really flirty and they sounded fun and exciting Jasmine was cool. I met her and then last year we had morgue sex offered to me. So that's always good Yeah, exactly. And it's becoming difficult to mention this one. Kathy wasn't a single mom either and we now know that you hate single moms I don't hate single moms That's why he likes jasmine and kathy the mom. Oh, I don't that's not the no Exactly. They have similar values. Oh, is jasmine a mom? No, no jasmine's no mom yet But you I believe put a tracking device on her handbag when you guys had today. So what you said off here No, I expect that to happen. I love this exciting I can't believe we found you your wife pretty much Yeah, and matt does he does love single moms not for anything long term, of course, but he does love single moms I liked kirstie. Kirstie was cool for ruthless one. It all stands Kirstie is like no, I'm just joking anyone's fair game single mom. Okay, sure Well, yeah matt loves his single moms. He loves even mums that are taken he'll he'll attend But he loves people who aren't single moms a bit more. That's what he said Yeah, that's what he said off off air and he was rule like angry at us for he said stop getting single moms I'm not doing it. Oh shut off He hit me He punched Michael in the face and he did a tornado like the Tasmanian devil in the lounge room out of rage You went Holy shit, dude, I'm never You're never acting. I'm never gonna get we have found you a wife. This is it. This is how it's all gonna be It's all gonna be B I reckon Picture this we're getting we're too. This is crazy, man. This is you will do a reality tv show with all 40 of them No for one month with your wife The one you choose you will get a wife. You'll be married before the end of this podcast I honestly thought you've had divorces with them already. Yeah, I honestly thought you I thought last week you mentioned that you had a divorce with one and one was your ex-wife now So we have found you your wife and it's gonna happen before the end of this podcast You're gonna thank us once you do that. You're gonna be so happy You know, you know some recognition would be nice some. Thank you. Maybe if you No, we're getting no, I'm not thankful. We're getting your wife I'm um forced into a different relationship situation every week with you guys. We're we're finding Many dates many potential mates for you Anyway moving on to the next you were very nice to talk to you. Thank you, Kathy All right. The next segment is of course Questions we don't have our question of the week this week because like we said the new podcast isn't out yet We can't look at the comments But what we're gonna do is just ask some questions from the last podcast We scroll through some And scroll through some that we didn't answer if you want us to answer your question comment Any question that you want we answer the most likes questions first unless we've answered them bunch of times before And you can scroll through and like them once you like which reminds me, please Please i'm begging you. Please subscribe like and comment. Well, it's helps us a great deal A lot of you aren't subscribed you listen regularly unsubscribe. That's fine. Don't have to do it Don't worry about liking and don't worry about commenting. Please comment Yeah The brown is browsing through Okay, look at that face Conor look he's browsing through pawn hub face That's what underneath the glasses his eyes are darting around really really fast It's a blur and they're going in opposite directions Taking in as much information as they can That's why he's really wearing glasses Oh Next question is from dakota. Oh brown jane livingston If you could have three guests all at once on the pod, who would they be dead or alive? Dude you could really it'd be interesting to just have an hitler here wouldn't it? Oh, man You would be talking german is he can talk german? I wonder what he'd be like He'd probably be like a real fucking narcissist Hitler We're not talking about Well, at least he could explain why he did it And like we could find out more information. It's probably good. We do have him He'd probably really dislike us because of we're not like wealthy and like look at look at this He'd fully just he'd probably attack me Kill the gypsy. We're not um, and he'd attack matt too because matt's jewish No Oh, really? I forgot that you were jewish. He's not really Oh, I swear you convinced me in the podcast you were jewish. Yeah, I did serious Of muggles known matt for 10 years and thought up until right now that he was jewish a few people got convinced Actually, they commented about it Oh man Oh, you got it. Okay, we didn't answer that. Oh, yeah, and then I'd probably have Oh will smith will smith would be Why not If that wasn't good cut that Um, here we go Yeah, that's good We filmed a video with jackson yesterday in the library putting pregnancy stimulators on anyway That was a good question. I need water Oi Next question is from trenter benson Um, if if michael marty and the brown and julia all started a band what music would you guys play? And what would your band name be? I'd stomp on the floor. I'd be the stomper For what type of Like a german stomp Do That's how all of our songs would start and then julian would open with a really high beautiful ethereal Michael come out with a violin in the background, so we're a brass band would be milking a cow Oh, dude, I can see that and we'd be called the raging seven Is And that's the chorus for all of our songs Yes You can tell who got who got on the bong break Very good, holy fuck, how many would there be of us? Me three people are the raging seven and we lay instruments out for no one Oh, matt that was that was very good, man. The next question is from mitchell lindore's Depending where he's from um, did marty have a box when he was a young german boy A box in my early 20s. I think marty needs to have a fight with Uh, another social media actually said a name, but i'll just say social media person before he dies of oh That's not nice. I'm not going to read that bit out. Um Yeah, he gave me a blood nose the other day. Would you have a box? Uh, yeah, the social media person Yeah, one day He's scary to fight. I'm gonna get a bit fitter though. Don't I? I'm a bit I'm a bit fat next question is from paul robertson as muddy muggle ever watched kennie verse spany Of course we have yeah, we've watched every single episode and um, yeah, they're um, do have a little bit of influence on The way we go about things and we would love to one day do a marty verse michael's Series or even to the kenny verse spany, but just obviously our own spin Imagine marty and michael verse kenny and spany. Oh, that'd be so good. They come out of retirement Yeah, that would be big Text him now Oh Main kenny verse you and spany All right next question is from Okay, okay next question is from, um, manual selam Depending where it's from. Um, all right considering your love of steven hawking Why haven't you guys ever done a wheelchair olympics in his honor? We've done something in wheelchairs and we've taken it to the skate park. Yeah Well, I've gone down a little ramp once in one. Yeah, but like I want to get the the proper upgraded Supreme wheelchairs. They do that brand does do wheelchairs now He gets it. You just move a button and it moves. Yeah, one's a little like like, um, little sirens on them They could do their own toilets They probably could because then you don't really have to do much. Do you? Yeah, wow. Well, yeah, I reckon Who can be the better steven hawkings would be a great video to do. Yeah He's our idol and our rock. I pray to him when I'm down Yeah, I've I've had some sessions on him and sometimes hawks disappear. I think that that's him The next question is from brandon hinton Um, would you guys ever consider doing stand-up later down the truck as in stand-up comedy? Yeah, it's scary now because you guys have done it once before Yeah, I know but it's scary now because if we try and say oh, we're doing stand-up here Then there'll be a lot of people there a lot of expectations So it's like you have to be amazing straight away. Otherwise, it's No, you don't even the best comics bomb Yeah, I know but like people they're gonna be like, well, you imagine watching our videos and thinking oh That's gonna be funny and then they go to the show and it's shit because you've never done stand-up before Yeah, I know but I'm saying the practicing because that's what is practice you go and test out a routine Like that routine test It's terrifying. Yeah It's too hard now. It's terrifying now But maybe one day I won't ever rule anything out, mate Just can't go up there and be like That's my opening now. That's my opening. I'm gonna show you as possible. Oh, that was like stewie from thornberries Next question is from fire rat fire rat depending where he's from that's probably him in there Yeah Would you oh, this is a would you rather would you rather sleep on a bed in jeans for the rest of your life? Not too bad or sleep in whatever you like, but on a couch for the rest of your head and jeans Yeah, I'll just get really comfy really big loose ones And maybe even a denim dress. Fuck. I need to piss again. You fucking pig Give me that fruit While he's pissing I've got a question for you, Marty From ryan franz fernan as Anywhere he's from Marty, could you tell the story of when you were DM girls? Like you mentioned an episode one on like, you know when I'm tender and you used to take people's tinders and used to DM them Yeah, I would I was renowned for getting responses from the girls that the boys wanted responses from So I would just say some fucking outrageous shit. It's hard to think of an example, but I would Yeah, well, what would I say? I would just I don't know just say something really sort of fucking shocking and they would always reply and always and then that would lead to Uh, setting updates for the boys fucking getting numbers, etc, etc So if you're on tinder and you're bumbling shit, just stand out. Not your fucking typical Actually, you made a good comment where I was like give him something to read that was a very good comment last time Yeah All right Um anything on the second hit he goes Isn't piss funny Sits in you Dude, all right, so many final question Um, it's from rabies Vittorio bolzani vittorio bolzani. I fucking nailed that. I think racist how Question for the podcast. Do you guys ever feel uncomfortable being so transparent about yourselves and your lives in front of such a large audience? Yes, well, we're not we're 100 come to Short fucking answer, but low you get you get used to it. And but yeah, there are obviously certain things that we don't Announce to the public world Like about our fucking like your love lives. Yeah, we love lives out there I'm like me you get mine out there. Yeah, we like to separate our personal lives from our work life But we like to give as much as we can to the people obviously But there is a point Michael won't talk about the things he does behind closed doors as soon as those doors close He stops talking. See I'm so high But yeah, no, it's it's fine. It's fine now. We it's at a good level We're happy sharing what we're sharing with you guys our journeys through this fucking life And fucking but yeah, obviously we can't tell you guys everything because that wouldn't be fair to the people in our lives That's why we don't Matt brown and the website is pretty fucking ringworm never been there. Yeah, go there. That's pretty you can't really top If you're willing to put that shit out there if you laugh you have to sign up That's the arrangement. Yeah, if you watch make me watch videos What are you gonna do 10 videos if I laugh one one video? No, I can guarantee I can I guarantee you I can sit through one of your videos and not laugh I've got yeah, he hasn't seen the you laugh you lose. I know that's what I'd show him But he laughs at weird shit. I don't know if he'd laugh Yeah, Marty always liked to test me with his videos because he knew I need it's it's I'm a tougher reaction to get out So if I laughed he'd felt good about it. Yeah, so I think Matt likes it when you get hurt No, he chuckles a bit then some from memory Oh fucking hell, um, have you have you guys seen the fucking um The game shows game show videos that we're doing with James on our Facebook page Oh, yeah, I did where you but you burst through the like boot the door open and walk in very good Yeah, so we're gonna be doing that on the backup Facebook page university Michael Facebook page And we'll probably be posting to youtube too on and let's see what happens next podcast I reckon you try and wear the outfit. I love that character that you play the he has a tail Yeah He has a fucking tail like those girls at the good brisbane grandma girls school that think they're cats Matt brown Ridiculous people. All right. It is time for This is a segment where this is a segment where oh shit. Do you see lizard in the corner of the room? A little yeah, I did I can see it little yeah little skink This is a segment where I read out either a complete nonsense sentence that sounds german Or a german sentence and these two fucking fuckwits have to guess if it's german or gibberish Whoever has the most points at the end doesn't get fucking slogged with a wooden spoon Michael still has the mark on his arm and the one from the previous week Look at that. It's left a red mark on his arm there And I don't know if you can see that but there you go. Anyway, so it's quite dangerous quite a dangerous game number one Möschwerkholfen Möschwerkholfen It's not german. Yeah, that's fucking that's ridiculous. It's not german You are both wrong that is german No, would you like to stab at what it means at what it means because we got it wrong Yeah, but just for fun. I reckon it could mean Up in the tower. Oh fucking out Okay, you're on the same like page. I'm lately really good at the same page in a book I cut myself from barbwire. Come on. Did you hear what I said? Möschwerkholfen It means sell milk So I was pretty close shut up because Towers like a shop. No, they're not. All right next one Bränche nederdahl Bränche nederdahl Oh, that is not the time at the end. What's it comes out bränche nederdahl That is not german. Yeah. No, that's like that's not german hypocrisy. It's like shrillenken. Yeah, surely that's not german Yeah, it's not it's not german You are fucking right Yes, you're both on one fucking measly point Next one number three He's putting a german accent on it, but it's not german. I'm gonna go it is german Fuck it well could be because he's put the accent on it the mine out. I reckon it mustn't be because it's It's not good what you just said careful not to be racist Okay, but it's just it's like a spell. You said something dark if that's really just cross the line Okay, that's hurt my feelings. Sorry, but it's the truth. I'm born in this country and that is how we speak Is that really german? Yes, that is german. That is fucked up. Meine Schwester ertrenken. Did I say yes? Oh, no, what does it mean? Winning two one. Um Sorry, can I have it again? Meine Schwester ertrenken I am sick with rabies. I reckon it's I just kidnapped Hansel and Gretel I think I'd give you that Yeah, see you can't it means drown my sister Which that was well if your sister is great. Yeah, that's what I mean same thing. Yeah Shit, I'm good at that. I should get a point. No, okay Number four mats up one That is definitely german oh man, that hurt. There's no yeah, it's german man. Just go with it Oh, uh, well, I have to go the opposite and hope it's not no, it's not german german It is Dude, I'm good at this. Have I got an opportunity to win? You'd have to get the next one right and then guess what it is. I think what does it mean brown? Um, I think it is Dead cat in a basket. It means attack homeless Oh, it's close dead cat in a basket. Take the homeless That is an instruction to any german fans out there attack the homeless. Do you understand? This is not a joke spread the word Anyway next and final one you you have to get this right and guess what it is Well, it has to be german. I have to guess what it is. So it's german and it means Yes, it is german. I will go yes, too If I get this right You get hit it has to be german. All right, and then you have to get it right. Is it german? It has to be it isn't german Matthias, I'm so done with this shit. Matthias, I've got a hit in like three weeks Three one I don't know where to get hit now Michael's racism shines through too strongly. He can't believe that some of these are german Yeah, he's too No, because it sounds so similar to like a spell I Dreaming Oh, no, please like it Oh, don't hit my hand and don't hit my sore Oh Speak loudly. Oh Oh, no Oh, no, I'm scared of you I'm scared dude. I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared Takes a little while of the pain red Red dirt Okay All right, it's calming down that's for the best fridge No prank call brown town. Oh my god How long we've been flaila cloo flaila cloo cloo I like For the next segment and I was explaining in german that's prank call time Fly Yeah, this has sent me confirmation texts and a ruling Or do you want a wine? I love Shrats. Hello, Mickey. My name is Toronto, okay, and I've woken up this morning and my fridge and couch still has not been delivered and I said on the confirmation text, okay, it says that someone is to be here between 9am and 11am and there's still an illness here. There's come a cash-in lounge room. What was that last bit, sorry? I said still an illness here. There's put the cash-in my lounge room. Oh, they still haven't brought it yet? No, that's what I'm saying. This needs to go far away there. Okay, because I've got to go out for brunch. Right, so it might be, it should be there before 11am. There's no one that comes down the street because it's going to take more than an hour to put the cash-in lounge room among suspecting correct? Oh no, you shouldn't take long at all. Maybe five to ten minutes, if that's... Can you do me a favour, sweetheart? I hope I'm not asking too much, okay? Can you have a look at your computer and see how far away the boys are? Because I need to get going. I've got to show her as waiting for me with the girls. Okay, no worries. Can I just get a mobile phone number that would be linked with your order? Sure, my mobile phone number is 0-4-2-6. Yes. 2-7. Yeah. 1-6. Yeah. 1-7. Let's see what we've got. Rhonda Lachowsky is from my last name. Living up near... Staying up near... I should be in the system. Okay, I wouldn't be under a different phone number, would it? No, it's been my phone number since I was maybe 20 years old. All right, so I'll just repeat back what I have there. It was 0-4-2-6. 2-7. Yeah, that's correct. 1-6-1-7. That's correct. Okay. I could just find your order with your phone number. Were you joking me? Here we go again. Here we go again with the problems, is it? No, I should be able to find it another way. Did you have your receipt with you? Look, I don't have the receipt in my pocket, but it's on the computer, okay. It's got email to me, but if you could just look. I just want my couch and fridge delivered. I don't need to look any more paperwork. I've got the confirmation and it should be here by 11. Okay, not a worry. I might try searching it with your name. How do you spell your last name there? L-I-Q-U. L-I-C. L-I-Q-U. Oh, L-I-Q-U. O-U-S. O-U-S. K-O-Y. K-Y. Read that back to me like house quit. L-I-Q-U-O-U-S. K-O-Y. That's correct. Okay. I still haven't found anything here. And it was my fantastic... ...10%. I've been coming to your establishment now for three years, okay. And my uncle is starting to do lawyer. So I just thought I'd throw that in there because of all the issues with the receipts. Right. I'm still just trying to chase this one up for you. I'm just going to try another way. He's starting to do lawyer, okay. Look, if you could please just tell the manager to hire because I've moisturized. He's getting room temperature. And if he needs to go and see the girls. Okay. Yeah, they should be there within the next... I know that we haven't heard of any delays today. So they should be there within the next 45 minutes. Oh, my gosh. 45 minutes. That's ridiculous. You'll be hearing from my uncle lawyer. He's just assaulted me verbally. Come on. Come on. Come on. Shut up. Stop now. Oh, no. Oh, we'll see if it's 45. No, it's not 45. I just can't believe how stylish and a little pint of beer. All right, then. No worries. It shouldn't be too far away. It says good dollar. Catch you're down to the pool. All right. Have a good one. She thinks you're real life. 100% she thinks that there's some middle-aged woman. That's smashed. Dude, she's going up to her co-worker right now. You should have heard the phone call. I just fucking had. I think we made her a day. Fucking Rhonda's laugh is crazy. Very good. That was very good. Oh, my God. All right, guys. That is the end of episode number eight. It's a morning podcast. It's not even midday here. And boy, oh boy, are we chuffed. We're on coffee and marijuana. We're on holidays now, more importantly. You are. I'm not. We've got eight days of just relaxing, recovering with our bodies and being with our family over these two periods. So just want everyone to stay safe out there and make sure if you're driving on the roads to follow all the procedures required. Double demerits. Yeah, double demerits. So just be safe out there. Michael, any parting wisdom? Considering the prices at Big W for like plates and like spoons and shit. Yeah. Fuck like doing the dishes. Don't worry about it. I mean, if you have like big events. You live by that. Just sort of buy some new ones if once you start to run out. Plates are temporary. They're never meant to be permanent. But the friends are forever. And there's always like paper plates as well. Paper plans. Anyway, we'll fucking get out of here, mate. So happy two birthdays to everyone who's watching get out there and dress appropriately. We're the best. We're the best. You say it, Matt. Matt, imagine. We're the best. Come on. Please say it. We're the best. We're the best. We're the best. Imagine. I don't want to have to say it, Matt. Say what? Say we're the best. We're the best. We're the best. Wait. We're the best. Matt. If you don't say it. Your mum will die. We'll do it. Stop it. Okay. We are what? We are the best. We're the best. You're the best. We're the best, guys. We're the best. We're the best.