 Oh, nut bag! Oh! Oh. Looks like you're too late, Spindrift, because Liquid Death sponsored Brain Link, so you could have had all of this if you had gotten your shit together. Now I've found someone new. Someone who appreciates me and loves me for me. Someone who can bring me pleasure like you never could unless, of course, you'd like to strike a deal. You'd have to really make it spicy for me to go away from this little guy right here. Mmm, so many flavors and stuff. They're not sponsoring this channel, they're sponsoring Brain Link for something, I don't know. Anyway, there's three cameras. Uh, uh, uh! And today, we're using nut bags. Why? Wouldn't you like to know? And you already do, because it's probably the title of the video. What should I title this video? I nut in a bag? Yeah, yeah. Sick. We live in a world today where the number of cows are dwindling, left, right, and center. No one knows what's happening to these cows and their milk, but they're being depleted at a rapid pace. So many people are finding alternatives from their sweet nectar to a new nectar, whether it be from the teat of an almond, the teat of an oat, or something else entirely. That's right, I'm talkin' cum. Sure. So, we're making milk from various different things, okay? Thanks. I can lactate, right? Can I? With enough time. With enough time? In love. Whoever's editing, fact check. Can I lactate if I try hard enough, and if I believe, and maybe with a little bit of help from the Lord above? Can I? We have almonds here, and many of you might be going, what eatin' you're allergic to nuts? You're stupid and haven't been paying attention. I'm not allergic to almonds. I'm allergic to peanuts, which actually aren't even a nut. They're a legume, which is why I don't eat hummus, because hummus has a bunch of chickpeas in it, and chickpeas tend to make my mouth itch a little bit. Not a lot like with peanuts that will kill me. But just a little bit. Making homemade almond milk starts with soaking the almonds overnight in cool water. The water is then drained out, and the almonds are added into a blender. Now, taking this, and we're pouring it into the. Wow. What do you guys think Dick Cheney's up to? Hard attack. Is he alive? Yeah, sounded. Okay, look at this, huh? Almonds. They go in. Five cups of filtered water. This is four cups. I don't know if five cups will fit. Oh yeah, that's gonna be real close. Just a pinch of salt. I like it a little more salty, so I'm gonna add in a little more vanilla extract. Do I own it? Is it here? Is it in the room with us? One teaspoon. Now it's time. Will it blend? Anybody? Anybody remember? Will it blend? Interesting. Oh, very interesting. Now this, for you audio listeners, is going to sound great. Strain using a nut bag. This is a nut bag. You put the fucking nuts in here. Do you think anybody's ever tried to sieve out the impurities from salmon into a nut bag? Nut bag. Strain using a nut bag are my favorite trick, a thin dish towel. I have a nut bag. I'm fine, thank you. Ha ha! Oh God, she's frothing at the tip. We have to be careful. Oh, oh, she's leaking. Oh man. I should have gotten nut bag sooner in my life. Cause look at this. Pure, clarified, purified, unrefined nut milk. The quality of your milk can be found out through the sound of the dribbles. When you have perfect pitch like me or Charlie Puth, that is a D flat. And D flat is the best for nut milk because D, as in D's nuts, ha! Honestly, I buy so much almond milk but I can just be making it at home. This takes exactly like the real thing. Nothing quite like milking a nut. And then at the end of the day, you have the sack. A lot of people also refer to this as walls. It's where the pee is stored. Now, just imagine me out at some festival swanging these guys around. Oh, ready POV? You're you. I have to stop. Transfer milk to a jar or covered bottle and refrigerate. Well, why did I do it into the bowl? Why didn't I just milk it straight into the jar? I have better ideas than most people. Should I just milk it right into the jar? Now that's nice. Now that's a good froth. Do we have a cap? Before I forget, you can buy this shirt at CrankGameplays.com. CrankGameplays. I remember him like he was yesterday. Do you have fond memories of CrankGameplays? Sorry? No? If only you went to CrankGameplays.com and bought a Milker's shirt. That would have made him so happy. I'm gonna put this on so I don't tarnish my shirt. This is my best shirt. This is my going out shirt. This is the shirt that I go out in. All the ladies and the men and the enbies. They say, Ethan, how do you get away with it? Who gave you a permit for that? For your looks and your swagger and your, the other stuff. And I say, well, this is given to me by a good old JC upstairs. That's Jesus Christ for those of you following along at home. Yeah, me and Jebus go way back. And you know, I think, I'd like to think that a part of JC is right in here in this jar. I put Jesus Christ in a jar. The little Jesus Christ punk-o-pop. Next milk, next milk. Part two, oats. If you don't fuck with them, I don't fuck with you. I guess, I don't really, oats are fine. Look at these boys, huh? Get a big zoom. Look at the tits on that guy, huh? How to make oat milk. Simply add one cup of rolled oats to four cups of water. One cup of rolled oats. That's a half cup and that's a whole cup. High speed blender, then strain through a clean t-shirt. Can we just use the nut bag again? Should I use my milkers shirt? Are you sure? All right. Oh, we found nut milk bags let too much pulp through. So we don't recommend using them. This method yields creamy oat milk every time and it's perfect for adding to coffee matcha cereal. Okay, great. It's time. I think that it would be unwise of me to go against the recipe. The recipe is written in a certain way for a reason. And if it says to use a t-shirt, who am I to go against that? We've gotta use what the recipe says. So we're gonna take the milkers shirt. Oh, we'll do it with the logo facing out. Oh man. The milkers milk is going to be milking. It's time for the oat milk to commence. Good, Anakin. Good. Now we're gonna get all that gulp in there, okay? Oh yeah, I see. I see now why they said to use a t-shirt. Yes. And just like the almond milk, this is a C-sharp, which is great for oat milk. There's different keys that the drippin' should be drippin' in and this is very good. If you go to CrankGameplays.com, RIP, if you go there and get a milkers shirt, not only can you wear it out on the street or to a funeral or maybe an ice cream social, you can also make your own oat milk. The milkers shirt is the perfect consistency. It's a blend of cotton and polyester. I don't know if that's true. Don't quote me on that. It's just the perfect blend of materials to get such a, oh, such a fine strain of oat milk. We'll get a little bit of that flavor in the milk. Gonna help it along here. Sometimes you do have to do some actual milking when getting the milk out, just like the teat of a cow. All right. Now, here, come out here. You miss so much. Oh God. Mom, I threw up. What did you do? Well, it said to strain it through a fine shirt. Is it the one thing you were wearing? Yeah. It says milkers on it. It's the only one that I could. Is it a wetty t-shirt? Well, no, it's clean. Might have a little bit of deodorant in it. Hmm. It's a little watery. I kind of would love if there was a little bit more gunk in it. I don't know if the t-shirt method was the best let it go because I think that it gave too little gulp. You know, I want some more gulp in there. We'll put this in the fridge, and then at the end, we'll do a taste test. Next one, next one. I can't make rice milk. Oh, is it for peanuts? No. Because it's gonna take two hours and 15 minutes. Soak rice in two cups of very hot water for two hours. I can't make this milk, Jocelyn. I didn't know. No, there's gotta be a way to speed this up. What if, instead of soaking the rice for two hours. We soak it for two minutes. What's the difference? What if instead of soaking the rice in water for two hours, I don't soak it at all. What if just like the chocolate chip cookie, I create a milk so good, so creamy that I'm about to have, I'm about to be a titan of industry. Four cups of delicious water. Now, what goes good with rice? Seaweed goes good with rice, doesn't it? I got this in Korea in September. Don't do it. Why? Three of these will be good. It's time, it's time to reinvent the wheel. Nobody's thought of this before because nobody has had the balls to try it. It's expired. It's expired? I'm making new milk. It's fine, it'll have a new expiration date. Let's break up the speed. It's got notes of cranberry, boysenberry, turkey, Thanksgiving. Oh, and cranberry layer on the side for dessert. Every flavor you could possibly imagine all in one. It's sweet, it's salty, it's smooth. Now don't forget some gulp in there. Get a little bit of gulp in there. Now there's still gulp that you can have for later if you'd like. Oh, yes. Unlike the oat milk that was in F sharp, I believe, and the almond milk that was D minor, the frequency of this actually can't be heard by the human ear. Only dogs, ferrets, weasels, creasels, measles, birds, chimpanzees, octopi, and Gabriel Iglesias can hear the notes. It's the rice milk. So good, you have to try it. Oh, God. You guys have to try this. Talk about reinventing the wheel. I just reinvented the meal. You get so much nutrients all packed in. The flavors, it's like a ratatouille. Huh? Huh? Ratatouille? It tastes like ratatouille? It tastes like ratatouille. Oh, the flavor. Oh, oh, good. You know, times like these remind me of back in my day of the, in the war. No, it doesn't. What's a good milk without a partner? Who is Bonnie without the Clyde? Who is? Dick Cheney without the guy he shot. The hot dog without a bun. The burger with no cheese. I'd ask you about Ray J. Oh, cereal without milk. You gotta have milk. So I'm going to do a little taste test. I'm going to mix up the milk. I'll never know which is which. My first editing, make this one bigger. Now I'm not sure what milk is what. I'm gonna go dead center first. I would say that's three out of 10. Spencer, no. I may be wrong, this could be the rice. Too quick to tell. Too, too soon. Too soon to figure it out. Take another spoonful. Oh, I was wrong. The rice's flavor intricacies miles beyond this. This has got to be almond. You know, nothing to write home about. It's got some froth, hmm? Got a little bit of froth there. Stays on the tip of your tongue for quite some time. Now for the final milk. Oh, I can smell the flavors. Now look at the, look at that, huh? That's just not something you get every day. I'm calling it. Ha, ha, fight it over guys. No competition. This milk that I have made, oh, campy beat. If you'd like to try and make your own milk at home, go ahead and try, but nothing will quite compare to the trio of kings that I've made here today. Now what did we learn? Today I made milk, and today I made history because I was brave because I took a chance. The end of the day when I set my mind to something, nothing can really stop me. At first I was met with a wall that I thought I couldn't climb over. I thought I was doomed at the start with the rice not being soaked for two hours. But then I thought, what would my forefathers have done before us? Would they have simply given up? Would they have found a way around the wall, over it, under it, through it, any way possible? And that's what I've done today. For I am but a simple patriot, though I may never receive one. Purple heart, I think it's in order. This has been a message from me to you. Milk, almond, oat, and rice all come together in harmony. Thank you all for watching. It's too far. I was gonna jump, but it's too far down. Here we go.