 Welcome back. Thank you for staying with us. This is Still Why in the Morning and you are just on time for just joining us right now for the first conversation of the day. We are talking about social media and mental health and who better to help us through this conversation other than our Rama or watch at least popularly known as Ramzi. Thank you for coming and we are honored to have you in the show today. Thank you for having me. Okay so we want to know about social media before we get to your story. You've been in the social media space for a long time now. Yeah. Yeah, how's that going for you? It's good. I mean I think of social media the same way people think of Gmail. It's just a place where you know you go during your downtime and to do business you know to catch up with people and and so far you know so far so good for me. I think I managed to monetize it. That's why I'm still there. Exactly. So there's that morning session beat for it has worked well for you till now. Yeah. When did you start? I think I started my social media stint around 2009. 2009. Yeah. All right. Slowly like I was using Facebook you know Twitter just like everybody else. Yeah and I had no idea you know you couldn't make money out of those platforms. So for me it was just a place to be to catch up with the news. Yeah. Catch up with friends you know see how guys are doing and that was it. And boom money found you there. Yeah. Okay so when did you start making money was it because you're popularly known for at least we got to know you with the YouTube channel the green color bash. So is it is that when you started to make money from? No, no, no, no. I think I made my first check from social media in 2012. 2012. Yeah. YouTube came maybe the first check I got I got from YouTube maybe came around 2017, 2017, 2018 there. So you started quite early. Yeah. But when did people get to know you? I'd say around 2012. I'd say 2012 I was I was I had a name way before this. So you had a name way before the YouTube channel. I think they the YouTube channel just catalyzed how how popular it became but I had a name way before the YouTube channel. Yeah. So would you say that the social media is a good place to be as much as because we have gone through something in the social space. Yeah. We are much talked about that because it's around mental health. Yeah. Would you say already what would you say about social media? I would say it's nice to have places where you know ideas and just our our views of different things are allowed. It's a place to learn because you know you don't know what you know until you know something new. Okay. You don't know what you know until you know something. So it's a place to connect. It's a place to connect. It's a place to learn. It's a place to interact with people from different backgrounds, different cultures. And so for me like it's opened up my mind very very very in very very interesting ways. Yeah. Okay. So let's get into now social media and mental health. Maybe you can take us through that particular story. You know that from your post yesterday on Instagram as you were sharing our poster, you said that at a time like this last year you were going through a particular face. I'm just trying to rephrase it. Yeah. And it was very vicious. You used the word vicious. So it was quite something for you. Yeah. Anyway, it's one thing when you're on social media and you don't realize how much of I don't want to say like I don't want to over hype myself but you don't realize how much of a big deal you are until something happens to you. Okay. Sometimes we get on those platforms and we read stories about celebrities and what celebrities are going through and you know you feel like you have to have an opinion on everything and until it's your turn and now like okay now I'm the one in the hot seat and everybody's talking about me and there's just a level of attention especially when it's negative and it's coming from people who have no idea about who you are, what you're going through. Exactly. That you realize wow this place actually can be quite toxic. You get checked. Yeah. You can actually walk into a dark side from social media and some people never recover from it. Yeah. Yeah. And how was that for you because now you are from a place where people loved you, you know people celebrated you and they still do till now at least. Yeah. But that's particular time now everyone was on your neck. What did that do to you? I think it made me realize that you know when you're doing something good not everybody's happy about it. Okay. Yeah. Not everybody's happy about you doing great things because I think for the longest time having been on social media and just being on social media I thought I was pushing something positive you know like I was holding up a mirror to everybody who maybe has this phase of life that they're going through and I just thought you know it's good meaning for me it was like I'm getting money out of it I'm being myself you know I'm being the most authentic me I can ever be and so when life happened and I could see people celebrating oh yeah you know look you too you too whatever man it was just crazy so I didn't expect that not not so much from strangers also but from from people I I used to you know even not not even in my circle it's just you know like social media is quite different because we have a different type of celebrity now it's a can influence there is a different type of celebrity it's not a celebrity in the traditional sense of a celebrity um it's one day you're chatting with people you interact with around common things that you guys love and then all of a sudden before you know it you know five of you are popular for football you know three of you are popular for you know cooking and you guys don't realize your celebrities until something happens and to me that was the that was it I used to have my friends I don't I don't feel like a celebrity I don't think I'm a celebrity so you didn't know your celebrity I had no idea you know I just would like bro I just create content you know I just come here I speak nonsense sometimes because I'm my my my ideal social media is very light I don't I don't take myself that serious when I'm on social media I don't think of myself as you know this is who I am you know I have have a brand you know to uphold you know the certain things I can't say you know I never used to think like that until you know last year yeah okay so for someone who doesn't know what happened or just getting to know you today maybe you can just share that experience not in detail if it's too personal you can just share that experience so that someone gets the context so um it's our family channel and that was that's a green color bash yeah it's our family channel and the content was just about how we're raising kids and unfortunately you know life happens we decided to separate and the rest when everything just went to yeah so you know they say when you're dating on social media we have it's like you're dating within laws yeah social media in laws you have you have and and this is something I realize is when a lot of people don't have original ideas or perceptions about relationships and love in general so people live vicariously through you and you're on social media okay yeah so when you're sharing what you're doing for your girlfriend someone's like yeah I need to do that for my girlfriend all the babies are like yeah I need that done for me so they're living through you okay and so when when you're going through your own stuff and you know the situation changes it's like you leave all these people hanging on a cliff yeah and when they start falling down it's okay now it's your fault it's your fault I'm feeling so like it's people are living through you and you have no idea okay so they also had broken it's like they're also emotionally invested I think by extension sometimes we over invest our interest into people who are just you know living their lives okay yeah so you didn't see that when you had the channel you I wasn't seeing it that way I just thought hey this is what this is my life this is what I'm doing let me just share 30 minutes of it and put it online every week to me it was just 30 minutes of my whole week like half an hour out of a whole week is such a tiny speck of time in like in your life so that's what I used to do then I realized wow like you know people people are actually investing their time and interest into what I'm sharing what I'm sharing okay and what would you say now to you know people because people are on social media even those that are not influencers just follow us on social media what do you would you say to them as they you know follow other influencers on social media sharing something like what you did yeah any content relationship yeah whatever that they watch they're watching yeah I'm I I tell people just know where the know where to draw your lines like at some point you have to realize this is a person living their life and I have my own life over here so it's okay to cheer people on but don't over invest in in a way like if this person just sees us to exist it affects you in a certain way yeah I have people who who still don't even like they meet meet me and they're like what what happened what happened why why why why why should I explain myself to you like it's life life happened yeah well you know they say when you get um uh to fame again uh you cease to have a personal life really yeah and but is that fair for celebrities or people in the limelight I I actually believe the more you invest in yourself as a brand the less control you have the less control you have over yourself as a person because now you're building a brand it means you have to adhere to the rules to the rules of the brand okay so like that's what all is insist like for me maybe that's being like I'm so anti-brand maybe that's becoming a brand because I'm very light on social like I don't take myself that serious to me it's just fun it's just fun even when I was sharing my stuff like you know it's my this is what I'm doing with my girlfriend this is what I'm doing for my kids just on a lighter note you know it's it's never that serious you know so now how did you was it a hard time for you it was because you see you're going through something personal it's something you're going through personal and it's like you're going through something personal and a microscope so guys are watching wow everybody's watching you can't even walk into a supermarket without questions and that must be hard it was difficult yeah it was so how did you get through it I was in Malindi so I decided not to move back to Nairobi so that was your excuse you just need to isolate yourself you know like I think it was a time for me to just be self-reflective yeah and that that worked for you it really worked well for me like you know sometimes you have to pull yourself out of I would say isolate yourself in a way that is toxic or is you know counteractive but you just need to be by yourself reflect internally and just think of you know what you want out of life what you've been doing with your life and how that's been affecting you know everything okay so you're getting back to the public did you um do a social media did talk so did you stay away from social media for for a while while in this relation and then you came back this this is something about social media need to read a lot of people don't understand so influencing being an influencer on social media means that you're you're like why 254 let's assume social media is like a frequency the same way you have a frequency then you have different channels inside that frequency yeah right so influences now exist as channels it's like saying if I'm going through something I need to switch off the frequency so you can't you just have to ride the wave and and that requires you to have a certain level of you know mental agility you have to really really really understand who you are so that you don't sway so far away from yourself you have to understand that when you're there sharing the stuff it is it doesn't have to be personal just you sharing you know what you're wearing what you're eating you know it'll draw bullies to you not everybody's happy about their lives and sometimes they project that on to you people like us you know like me I'm just over there somewhere drinking my coffee I post a cup of coffee somebody who hasn't had coffee is mad about it and those are the those are the guys you're exposing yourself to so you're not in control over the types of characters that you meet that you meet or the people you expose yourself to so how do you develop that mental agility because you're giving that as a solution for influencers at least because yeah you're in that space whether you like it or not and you're bound to to meet bullies on social media so how do you develop that you have to have a bully mindset as well to a degree you know like when they say like when you go to Rome you have to be like the Roman okay like you have to be very tough as well yeah but also know where to draw your lines as well personally like if this person says this to me I don't have to say that to them or if this person reacts this way towards me then I don't need to react in the same way because they're probably projecting and it has nothing to do with me and I keep I keep telling people all the time like I have a friend of mine called Buddha blaze kept saying all the time you know sometimes you come on social media and you'll find somebody angry in your mentions and you don't realize this person probably woke up in the morning and they found the price of milk has gone up you know they need to let the frustration and the anger out and it has nothing to do with you so that's something that you always have to put at the back of your mind you know sometimes what you see on social has absolutely nothing to do with you yeah okay but for someone who's not you know social media is out for everyone someone who's not an influencer you you're not mentally even prepared for the bullying and whatnot you just find yourself trending one day for one or two reasons you know that you didn't even you you didn't imagine yeah so how do you how do how does that person handle that it's overwhelming first of all it's overwhelming you know yeah we have I've trended so many times before but if you trend for reasons that are not favorable to you or if there's a perception of view that's being put out there that you know you did not create it can be a bit overwhelming yeah so I I like to tell people like sometimes it's just ignore the noise you know keep to yourself you know you just have to process everything you know don't get on there trying to like oh you know that's not true that's not true this is not me it'll get worse it's like quicksand wow but that's very true because anything that trends on social media just takes a little while and then it's yeah people discuss something else something else pops up yeah and exactly so like and I think for me a lot of times I use myself as a muse because I'm an advertising professional and and I just stumble on social media and this influence a thing by coincidence so I like using myself as a muse sometimes I learn how to deal with situations for my brands or for the for the clients I handle through my own you know experiences my own personal experiences on social media so when you have when you have bad PR or anything along that line sometimes it's good to just let you don't need to say anything just let it yeah like you know nowadays with trends like once once something trends and it comes out of that trend tab it feels like old news and you don't you don't want to come into the afternoon for a conversation that was happening in the morning you remind people oh you guys you you were cooking in the morning let's cook you again in the afternoon you don't want that type of situation okay so that's sort of a remedy at least yeah just let people talk they usually just talk and then keep quiet and find the next thing you know okay and you know did that affect you do advertising yeah that affects your job in any way when you're trending in any of the instances where you've been trending did the advertisers pull out or anything no actually I actually had to drop some jobs they didn't pull out it was my own decision to like hey listen I know we have this specific project I remember around that time it was half afcon was happening and I had a couple of gigs and I was like you know I told to my clients like you know what I would really really love to do this but right now anything I put out is not at least sitting the reactions I want like I can't talk about football when people are just talking about my relationship you know it's like it's like I say something people remember oh it's yours to you again let's take the cats again yeah yeah so I had to drop a couple of gigs okay so it gets to a point that it also affects you yeah yeah and I had to like in terms of just my presence online I had to like it just I think you naturally just pull yourself away from anything that is commercial when you're going through anything personal so you don't want to draw attention to yourself I want to be in the background you guys finish talking about it's a very normal thing like this is life yeah coming back uh at least okay but you said you don't really go out of social media you're still you're still there yeah so how do you still stay there what do you comment do you post do you because again you're saying that you can't really they don't want really to be on the light yeah I think for me the the the thing about social media is after being after being on it for a certain amount of years you sort of learn how people you know interact and engage with topics and things so what happened was I just stayed away from talking about your relationship my relationship my family you know and I kept it very generic you know let's talk about football you know yeah there's no way you can spin a football conversation back to me let's talk about football you let's talk about the economy what's happening in in this part of the world and that's how I kept it okay just keep it moving yeah all right so what would you want to say to people um on the other side those people that don't know what influences celebrities go through when they troll them what would you want them to know I would just say you know be kind you know just because someone has a lot of followers or a guy is a rapper or a singer doesn't mean that they don't have a heart or a brain like you you know people have feelings they have emotions yeah and not everybody is built you know like I am unfortunate enough maybe I'm a tough guy you know mentally I'm a tough guy but a lot of people aren't you know I've seen instances where just small attention for even half a day has made people quit social media for good so not not everybody has that tenacity so people should be kind just be kind you don't know what guys are going through yeah all right and for um you know you have kids yeah and as they grow up we have the social media and we have shucks the social media so how would you protect them from from such the things that you have gone through um I think first I having kids means that I have to protect them one from predators you know before anything and then secondly the most important thing for me is to make sure that my kids know who they are the perception of who they are is not influenced but what by what people say they are because that that's a big risk now I think we're probably the first generation of parents who are going to be on social media and with kids who are going to find us on social media so you have to be in control of what your kids put out but also what your kids consume from these platforms you know yeah all right and you know part of the trolling and you're going through what you went through did anyone ever attack your kids uh yeah I did like I think one or two people and that's when you know like you know that that's when you know it has nothing to do with you because these platforms allow different types of people to come and see when you're when you're signing up for social media whether it's Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, TikTok they don't do a mental health check on you so sometimes you know you're you're getting into these platforms with guys who are going through the most you know guys who are going through things that you know you can't you don't even understand so sometimes their reactions have nothing to do with you yeah actually most times their reactions have nothing to do it's probably a guy going through their own things and they're just looking for somewhere to dump their frustrations you know everything they've been bottling up just comes out through you yeah yeah so it's important to know that it's not it's not really you it's them they have their own issues yeah definitely like you you once you understand why you're on these platforms that that has to be something that you always keep at the back of your mind because before I had kids when I was on social media my my whole thing was I'm here I'm here to crack jokes I'm here to you know share the little I know about advertising share the little I know about my interests and my interests of football you know sports in general you know so those are the that's the type of content I was sharing so somebody who's sharing sports content you know sharing their own lifestyle this is what I do for a living this is this is where I am today this is what I'm doing if that can attract any negative reaction then you know you don't really get it you don't get it you know and it's not for you to understand it's just for you to know at the back of your mind hey you're here with different types of people you don't know what someone is going through you don't know what they're you know what's in their head you know are they if they are okay if they are not but they have the same platform as you okay and so sometimes and I guess I used to have that problem you know I realized and it's around last year that I was very I was a very agreeable person agreeable person yeah and social media was the only place where you know just make myself more sative okay like and so anything you know when when I chat with people and I guess that's how I I grew my platform when I'm having conversations with people I don't think of you in terms of how many followers you have you just have good conversation yeah when I'm chatting with you I'm chatting with a person the back of my head I'm like whether this person has five followers or 50 000 followers doesn't matter this is a person we're having a conversation so my Lord my friends will be like why do you give attention to these people small for them like at the end of the day you know there's a person behind that account so I'm talking to the person I'm not talking to the account to me the number of followers you have it doesn't matter yeah up till now yeah we're just having a conversation that's how I've grown my platform just having conversations with guys wow amazing and what about that person who you know you go into social media and then you have the intention the good intention or at least you still maintain the good intention but now the number of followers and the likes comes and you know creeps up and don't get lost don't get lost in the sauce yeah yeah I don't get lost in the sauce that's what I usually tell guys like one of the reasons I um I decided to stay in Malindi and move to Malindi was like nobody cares who I am there okay like I ride my bike with a backpack I go by my veggies like I'm just living life you know I'm not I'm not here as Ramsay I'm just here as myself you know like I'm not that that I'm not I'm not a hundred thousand followers I'm not a hundred and eighty thousand for I'm just me when I'm here I'm here as an individual okay so you always have to remember you're an individual you don't speak for anyone you speak for yourself and you're living for yourself so you shouldn't conform to what people want you to be and don't conform to what people want you to be and then also don't conflict yourself as a person and everything that you're speaking for people you should never assume you're speaking for guys when I come on social media and I share my opinion on anything yeah I'm sharing it as me I'm not sharing it as me and my hundred and eighty thousand followers are saying this okay that's it that's how you get lost in the sauce okay so you just do you as you yeah do you as yourself you know when you see when you have movies and actors are playing themselves here and here we have Rama as himself yeah Rama as a hundred and eighty thousand people no you should never get to that point yeah and what about the people that fear getting on social media just because of the fear of getting trolled on social media whether being influencers or not they're just not into social media because they don't know people are cyber-bolded you don't really have to trend Kenya is very big on cyber-bolded yeah unfortunately I don't know why it's it's frustration you know there's a lot of things guys are going through and social media is the only outlet so for anybody who wants to be on social I'd say find out what you want out of it if it's just business you don't have to be on social media as yourself you can be on social media as a business entity you don't have to be on there as yourself yeah but how how will it will it have because now even with the changing times people want to associate the business with a face so they want to see you also as you promote it we've seen a lot of influencers promoting their business through their own accounts yeah and it's working for them so what would you say to that you know you have to build that tenacity fast mentally like I know a lot of people on social media a lot of people on private accounts people have been on private accounts for 10 years they still can't handle all that attention like 10 people like your person like who are these people I have friends who are like that like people are like I have 200 followers on social media and I know each one of those 200 people you know and that's to them that's comfort you know I might come and say you know I have 200 thousand followers but I only know about 150 of those people personally you know and of those people I know personally I never get to hang out with some of them you know or you maybe hang out with like 10 to 20 guys on a regular basis so if you overthink it then it becomes a bit overwhelming a problem yeah like when I when I'm saying something on social media or when I'm sharing something in social media I never think you know you just you're just here there's 180 000 people watching you because if I was to tell you like you know there's 180 000 people in front of you now speak you would you would actually freeze yeah so you just assume it's just you and you're just me I'm talking to like when I'm talking on social media I assume I'm talking to those 20 people I know personally that's it you know everybody else okay guys you can agree you can disagree but then do it amicably just okay you know don't come at me this is my business it's just an opinion it's not bombs it's just an opinion the most you can share on social media is a picture video and an opinion that's it that's it there's nothing else you can share okay and is it also good just to share what you want because some people are usually over share or get to personal with the information and then you get mad when people now you know yeah I mean you that's what I'm saying like you have to figure out what you want out of it because if you share personal information with guys it allows you to connect with people but then also remember opening up yourself on that personal level also attracts people who are anti whatever you represent so if I if I represent feminism and I open my personal life up to people you know I might connect with a lot of women but then at the same time anybody who's anti feminist you know is attracted to not want to that so they use that as as for then it's part of the business I guess when you're an influencer you're a content creator or you're a business you know any small thing that is anti anybody doesn't it doesn't have to be anti a hundred thousand people if it's just against three people even one person they'll come at you and you have to always be ready yeah all right and so from your experience and from all the years that you've been in social media and you've monetized it been an influencer what are some of the things that looking back you would have changed hmm never think about that things that I would have changed nothing really nothing like I from if I've made mistakes I think they've made me a better person I've learned from a lot of my mistakes and I think with social media people people build perceptions of who you are some people who don't believe in change will have the same perception of who you are 10 years ago but everybody who believes in change and that everybody can change will always have a perception of you that is based on you know the latest version of who you are every year with different people you know every birthday you change every wedding every funeral changes you so if anybody is resistant to change it means that even them internally they don't think they can change so it's just projection a lot of people actually project so yeah and on you said that on being yourself you need to be yourself on social media but again there's people looking up to you yeah so uh whether you like it or not your role model yeah to others so should that be at the back of your mind when you're doing anything no no no I think for me the I accepting the responsibility of being a role model is one thing but I think authenticity is such a strong currency on social media that it's okay to make mistakes it's okay to be imperfect as long as you you acknowledge your mistakes and you rectify why you need to rectify anything whether it's your line of thinking whether it's your actions I think it's fair that everybody gets a chance to like some of us are growing I mean like you you know guys guys are entering social media and they're 19 now you know you can't be perfect you can't be perfect at 19 you know you're still going to be there at 29 maybe in your 30s and if when anybody holds you accountable to what you said when you are 19 I mean it's just projection honestly like I if I I'm so glad I didn't have social media when I was 19 yeah yeah yeah yeah it would have been crazy you know but what about people who you know you have changed your made mistakes you've changed and then now people take that your past and now use it against you I usually believe that anybody who uses your past to whip you has refused to acknowledge who you are in the moment those are people who are not living in the moment there you know there's always going to be guys who look at you and they're like I have nothing to call out have nothing to hate on on this version of you so I have to go back and take that and take the other version of you that was because you see always it's like it's like molding yourself you know when you start molding or sculpting you know you start with a shapeless rock and you start chiseling away yeah you start chiseling away so I can't I can't tell you it's an ugly sculpture because I saw it when it was as a random rock you know what I'm saying like if I ask you to look at this sculpture and tell me what you think of the sculpture you have to look at the sculpture and think of the sculpture in the terms of it's a bust you know it's been chiseled this is how it's been it's been done yeah all right and as we come to a close on this what would you say or what would you recommend for social media just to ensure that people have the have their mental health safe and protect their mental health while using social media both for influencers and people who are not influencers really just social media users I'd say use the block button use the mute button those are your safety those are your those are your life jackets like being in the ocean that block button is your floater that mute button is you know that's the light you know so if you see anything that you know makes you feel a certain where you can always mute someone you can always block someone just make sure that you don't end up in an eco chamber because that's that's the opposite side of you know trying to create a safe space for yourself is you might end up in a space where everybody just agrees with everything you're saying and all you guys are just ping-ponging the same ideas so there's nobody to challenge a way of thinking nobody to challenge a way of living expose yourself to different ideas but then also know this is your safe zone yeah and your safe zone shouldn't be a place where you're you're secluded from the realities of the world yeah amazing amazing what a way to conclude it and maybe you can mention your social handles where people can get you and if you have something you want to say and you can do that that is your camera you can find me on social media instagram twitter at ramsi that's at r am double z y underscore i use my social media to share my art share my ideas of life i like to think of myself as a light philosopher on this channel so yeah all right thank you very much ramsi we appreciate you coming on board and speaking to us about social media and mental health sharing your journey yeah amazing thank you for staying with us that has been our ramah all watch popularly known as ramsi thank you for staying with us once again we'll be back with more keep it locked thank you