 You can now follow me and all my social media platforms to find out who my latest guest will be and Don't forget to click the subscribe button and the notifications button So you're notified for when my next podcast goes live I've say fair play to Louis watch you know, he's actually a really good man. He says lads I'll make is the sun the moon and the stars And we believed him and he fucking did I had everything I had the million pound those other porches very lambos fucking champagne caviar for everyone A lot of the TV shows we were doing at the time you're live in kickens and your GM TVs and all that kind of stuff that came with certain amounts of Performances and I don't just mean musically I mean on they would ask you to to read out certain things all auto cue all this all that And I very quickly said the slip to the back of the group when it came to that because I couldn't read any of that shit I said at the play on that kind of mystery and that darkness and become very unpredictable I mean one year we were on the plane. I think was 111 flights one year. I know it's some crazy shit crazy crazy shit And and they the record company they just they just kept going they just kept churning it out standing on stage as far instead of Five looking where my brother always was and just not there. That was mad shit I was in a mad spiral downwards anyway So the best thing that ever happened that we didn't head into the US and continue that journey. We were fucked But we're on And today's guests. We've got a boys own legend Shane Lynch. How are you brother? What's the crack? Have you been really good good. Yeah, really good in these mad times We're silly not to talk about them for sure. Yeah, well, you know, I think We're on the up. We're on the up. I think for me anyway. Yeah, you look happy. I am happy I don't know if it's cause you're sitting across from me Listen the biggest podcast there in the world You know That's a crying. What is that like cracking after in here man? What is this? This is a Studio TV studio. I've been building for the last three four months and you know what it's it's all about I think where I saw the world going and the world going from the whole lockdown scenario and the way me as a Public figure or a guy you see on telly knowing that it's it's all going to get a little bit more difficult and a little bit harder For everybody to fight their way through the pack like there's a lot of artists out there In the industry and now they're sat on their ass. That's the truth They're sat on their ass gone. Who's gonna give me the next the next pay payload here. So I kind of looked Beyond that until right I want to make my own shows I want to make my own TV shows and have my own guests on which is yourself later on tonight And it's basically kind of I'm given given a little bit of I say hope and chance It's kind of we are a Well, it's that bite the bar here Shane Anagans, we're calling it right and in the Shane Anagans, but it's a zero alcohol bar by the way Because it's kind of dealing with cars. You know my car hit so the Shane Anagans bar basically is We're gonna be so some clips of of different things of what you what people like to flick through on their phone Constantly all day all day so kind of trying to relate to the people too And then just have a laugh and a giggle about them Which we're gonna show you some clips later on on the show and it's called my dream machine and my dream machine is be kind of Building this TV show and building this set we go live every Tuesday nights 7 p.m. It's a Facebook thing but I have the big conglomerate TV people on our side and I think We don't want to we want to just create our own little space Yeah, and within that only space you make your own rules and making your own rules for me was always important as a kid growing up to an extent I always kind of Suffered with authority, so I'm trying to carve my way in the future with my own rules that's great though that you're thinking outside the box because I believe Social media and stuff is booming YouTube is booming their stuffs on YouTube and we're beating some of the biggest TV channels out there with millions of views per month So no matter if it's Facebook Instagram if you're hitting numbers and doing something that you enjoy that's the whole thing about it Do you know I mean it's just finding something else to not a backup plan But it's another avenue to promote yourself do interviews and enjoy something that you love to do I think so I think you know spending years and years traveling the world in boy's own and Going from radio station to TV station all kinds of stuff and it's to build a product as such But you know you're also feeding it to other people's Front rooms and other people scenarios and lives for sure and to kind of think that where boys owns over now But to kind of think that There's no more avenues other than reality TV shows for me or over the last few years I've certainly I've made or carved my way through kind of car programs and that geo Global and stuff. We did a couple of It's called supercar mega build and a scrapyard supercar and a few different series like that and it kind of gave me that little insight to actually I could do this myself and Within this box that we're sat in now This is a big warehouse just outside that big sliding door And that's where a lot of the custom build stuff and my toys are out there And I want to build I want to bring other and give opportunity You know, I think this point in life being in any particular position if you have a way to give folk opportunity To get themselves out there then it's important. It's important to help to reach out in many scenarios and as a young kid growing up and always I Was customizing what from a skateboard to my BMX to my motorbike to my cars to my trucks You know, I mean I was always doing something to them And there's a lot of amazing creatives out there and artists out there I call those kind of custom builders artists And I want to give them a platform to be able to come in here to come in here and showcase Their their custom shops and their builds and stuff, you know on my TV show Yeah fair play always go back to the start of my guess, but I get a bit better understanding about yourself Where you grew up and how it all began? Born raised in Dublin. I Was born in 1976 That makes me I A little bit of a recluse as a kid liked my own space Had my own little Conservatory out the bike that nobody was allowed in full of dinky toys created my own little garages and Streets out of shoeboxes and all that kind of scenario and kind of lived in my own dream world as a kid and when I kind of Went to school for the first time. I realized I was different than other kids I wasn't like everybody else and I was always into different stuff. Well, one of the main Separations of that was plain and simply as my brain didn't work the same way that your kids did I Massively dyslexic so reading and writing and it was immediate that I had I had a problem Now it was only immediate to me It wasn't immediate to my family because I would say I was a good strategist and a ducker and diver and weaver and I just basically Carve no way to the schooling system with charm. I think good old Irish charm Kind of making sure that I was not a troubled or troubled some kid to the point but more clever and strategist It's funny that I'm dyslexic as well But I was always staring out the windows and shitting more a visionary But I believe that the most creative people are the ones who think outside the box if you're not some people aren't made to be reading books and staring at textbooks and learning their times table and The most powerful men and people that's been on this planet have been kind of fucked up or dyslexic or some sort. Yeah pain It's like you're trying It's like you find something else to do to say, okay, I'm not good at this You think you're a bit of a loser, but I'm going to do this and then you end up becoming Yeah, I think we're creatives You know, we definitely are creatives and our minds kind of lend themselves to that a lot better as dyslexic and I had a program years ago on channel five and that program was Basically whether or not I had dyslexia. Yeah, I watched it was good Thank you. I've seen you on the earth as well at a lot of stages. Is that just because you were becoming vulnerable? Massively and what what it kind of regressed you You know, it regressed you back to those times those times when you were a kid You know, I went back into those school corridors where that was the walk of hell most days of my every morning I get up. I had to face that walk and that's a lot of pressure for a kid. I think, you know I've got two baby girls right now. Well, not so much babies once it's gone into high school So, you know, and I and I've always feared and you know Because you think about your kids and you think man, I hope they don't ever feel like how I felt walking through the school corridor You know, so kind of to be to be taken back to those places of are they damaging places or are they Places of growth. I don't know more damaging. I don't think the schooling system is as accurate as it should be I think learning your times table and your history is great for some people But what about your creativity and individuality showing love meditation eating right learning how to grow your own foods I think stuff maybe like that and other people might think you're crazy But these are the tools and techniques especially in things like lockdown if supermarkets and stuff close How do people going to survive people don't know how to grow their own foods. It's war zone. Yeah, you know And that's basically what it is. I mean, we had a good glimpse to it We had a good glimpse to shop and trolleys around the block around the block around the other block You know for people queuing up to get some bread and milk and and I think that was a small snippet into The governing body and the world's governing body and how they are really in control And I know we all get it for day I suppose they think they we all get a bit too big for our boots at times today They kind of show us a little bit of a now. That's where the ones in control here Let's show you what we can and can't do and I'm a firm believer in that I don't think it's any kind of conspiracy theory I mean look there is without a doubt there's a disease out there called COVID and that's fine It is kill killing people and sadly and it's it's killing people in many more ways Not just catching the virus of course, but in the mental health scenarios and in what it's caused on the ripple effects But they I think that's a very thought well thought out planned global government-based Oh in percent. It's all gears in advance and people can call you crazy or a conspiracy theories But there is higher powers that it control the world and it's so easy Where people can be controlled with fear and drought fear and I'm so quiet and so fast that people panic No, these small stages are getting put in place for the reason being well. We've just confirmed it There's another lockdown coming But it's scary to me how fast the population can be manipulated the news the newspapers I don't read their watch any of that stuff It's other people have to tell me because if your brains are a sponge it absorbs everything They call the TV a program for a reason it's programming your main mind Thinking the way the world is what was actually a good place There's a lot of good people in it and if you don't think so then I believe become good yourself It's just a weird place to be in right now But as long as you can keep your head above water and I like to look at things differently I like to question everything differently I'm not a conspiracy theory just because I watch certain things on YouTube doesn't make that fucking expert because they could be crazy I've interviewed guys like David Ike as well and some things I believe some things I don't but he could be crazy The people who's getting put stuff on the news could be crazy I just question everything that they might be right they might be wrong, but you know what? I'm not harming anyone. I'll just stay back and just I'll do it's right for which My soul's telling me. Yeah, I think what are the tools of survival aren't they? You know taking a bit of everything knowing a bit of everything and if you just kind of stay in one line Then you're gonna be brainwashed to one line be at the right or wrong way But you still have to you have to know the outside effect as well of you can't just be that home Then I don't think yeah, you can go down the rabbit hole and stuff as well. It's just Listen, but make your own assumptions whatever you hear. I think so. Yeah, so after the schooling and stuff You struggled and went through but then biggest opportunity of your life going to boys on it's 17. You know, the main thing is about Boys on and me being in boys on is I wasn't even into music You know, I wasn't even into music. I was into music But it was basically kind of hip-hop and reggae and that that was that was what I kind of thrived on as a kid You puffed without anything back then. No way too innocent for that. I like all my money went on petrol every cent I had went on me motorbike and fueling that machine up now I Kind of lived in leafy suburbia. So it wasn't just kind of cornfields. There was a lot of I want to say police chasers and Naughtiness it was more because no helmet no tax no insurance just smoking the machine up and down the roads and It was just fun. It was to me a hundred percent. It was innocent fun back then and I didn't even drink till I was 22 23 something like that. I was just mad on cars mad on bikes and every cent I had just went on kind of building machines like I got kicked out of school when I was 15 and for the simple fact of you know What we spoke about and being dyslexic It wasn't it wasn't because I was a trouble guy and I was making trouble. I just didn't do anything I couldn't do anything. So there's no point. I didn't come into class with books or pens or pencils I just came in because I had to attend as a register and eventually the you know, the principal just said look Just you know, we'd appreciate if you don't come back is what you said, you know Basically what he said if you don't come back even he's cool And I was like, oh I sound so I asked my dad for a job It was a hard time like a shit myself like proper shit myself asking me all man For a job, but he luckily off had his own workshop. He saw a built cars built kind of hot rods and erased cars themselves So it was always in the blood, you know, I mean, and so the ideal kind of scenario for me was to You know in life take over family business I had I had a route to market in terms of who who I was going to be as a human And luckily he was an amazing mechanic still is amazing mechanic. I'm saying like he was in the past and he's still alive but what I learned from that man was was Blood sweat and tears he raised six kids, you know back in a time of Hardship when money was hard to come by, you know, the stories I hear me dad talking about not eating Food and just feeding the kids for a week, you know, I mean a stuff like that So I grew up in a pretty hard working environment family environment is and when you went to work you fuck I went to work. There was no like rain hail sleet snow me bollocks like get the fuck out of bed and go to work and You you really had to you had to be in hospital before you didn't go to work. So I on a Kind of similar scenario to yourself. I think there's a certain amount of get-up-and-go with that's ingrained in you But be that it in addictive sense of Your nature. I think I'm a I'm a workaholic without a doubt probably not one day because of that But I think it's it's inherited Views it's it's visual views. It's what you see your parents do I think a lot of our stuff can be offered an inherited lies You know from a young boy Or girl growing up and seeing mother and father in certain turmoil kind of situations or family Marriage situations and and that's how they treat their women or their men And so there's a lot of visual and lies that you see growing up that our parents Responsible for no, but it's that's how you grew and that's what you think until you decide. Oh shit There's a different world out there and I don't have to be that person I can be me. Yeah, it's funny how you get labeled now where it's dyslexic or whatever it is and then you've kind of got a label shit is that what is but It's okay to understand what's right and what's wrong and if you try to figure it out Did you I feel a bit like I feel you're at school because I was like they're better than me So I was always trying to make people laugh then right so I couldn't fucking do anything So I was a class clown. So yeah, yeah, I made people laugh. I was good at making people laugh So that deflected that away that was fucking Not saying that was stupid, but I just couldn't do what the other people could do So I hung about the bad people just Deflect in a way that I was done basically but I kind of avoided that scenario Kind of being class clown because I didn't want to stand out. I did the opposite When I said I was charming I was more of a greet in the teacher I'm being nice nice to them and kind of like I've seen Shane there I won't ask him a question It was you know who's about and that was my strategy. Oh, I became the the best sportsman in that school You know if it was long jump. I was jumping along because it was high jump. I'm jumping the high I'm taking home the gold. That's what I am doing. I'm taking home the trophy for that school And that's where I kind of concentrated on just being the high school jock if you want to call it You're not at the quarterback The guy who's like you're doomed without him if he's not on your team you've had it And I kind of tried to create that scenario. I'm very americanized in in all that I do actually I'm very americanized I've always looked at america For the style of person that I am and the music my own musical influences like you're going back to U2, Cranberry, Sinead O'Connor like rock rock rock rock rock. That's what Ireland is. It's rock renowned And you know, I've just a little hip-hop kid and baggy pants rolling around You know We're epmd on my little boombox and stuff and that was that's why I was always different as a kid too and I think When it came to the boy's own scenario and getting into one of the biggest opportunities in life I just saw that as another avenue of of Of a door opening and and Like I knew fuck all about music, you know How many people went for that? Was that addictions or anything? There was It's a funny little scenario And it kind of breaks down to myself and this other guy set up boys on it was the other guy's idea He came to me and he said look do you want to be in a band? And I said oh I mean And he says he says, you know, you've got the right look and all that and he says if you ever seen them boys And he and he referenced take that and I was like, yeah, yeah, because I've got five sisters So I was like, yeah, it goes into there and bros and all them kind of boys there So I was like, yeah, yeah, it goes a bit like that but an Irish version of it. And I was like, oh All right, then sounds sounds fair enough to me. So So So I kind of said I said, right. Well, what do we have to do and he goes when we need a manager? You know, we need a manager. Sorry manager, right? That sounds good. So I'm one of the oldest sisters Tara she was in a stage school scenario kind of things. They were they were all musical my whole family's musical One of my cousins is like world champion pipe drummers and the others bagpipe. They're all mad musical head fiddle players and you name it And and all my sisters are all singers and all the dances and all yeah, but you each there's a couple of the girls I think out of all my family does only as in my immediate siblings There's one of us who didn't have a record deal, you know, and the black sheep the family The clever one of the family went off to America. She did um and and we kind of When it came to fine and management, she she was she said like she was in those plays Like a lot of pantos and all that every year and all that she goes. Oh, it is There's this guy called Louie Walsh and he at a time he was a big fish in a little pond little old Ireland And Louie Walsh obviously Louie Walsh that you see on X Factor now and all that kind of scenario next to mr. Kell He used to look after show bands in Ireland. So He was the legend of the who you went to and the biggest guy He would have looked after the time as a guy called Johnny Logan and Johnny Logan was Eurovision song contest winner twice for Ireland That's something that I saw hero Johnny Logan's the hero here. You know what I'm saying? So we got his name and we set up a little uh, a little um Meeting with him to kind of give him the idea of this Irish boy band But I've got to go through me dad now You know, I gotta go to me dad and send me some time off work like And that doesn't bode well with my dad, you know And family business and all that but he was amazing and I I love my dad for this I love my mom and dad of they're very out there in terms of There was no kind of Barriers set as forces kids whatever he wanted to do they were like you go and do that. So I've got a You know incredible Kind of when I look back and think my mom and dad were awesome. Absolutely awesome. And I just said to me dad You know, he's I said that I need I need the morning off work and he's like All right son What's that for you know So, well, so well, I'm gonna meet a manager he's Do you work for me? He says yeah, and he goes well, who's the manager? I said, well, he's saying I want to be in a band He was a steel face as you know, he was like I want to be in a band son. I said, yeah, I mean Tell me something he says son What do you play? So, no, what do you mean? He goes like instrument. What do you play? I said I don't play anything and he goes right He says tell me something son. He says do you sing? I went Oh, not really and he goes right right So what are you gonna do in this band? I said, I'm not entirely sure He goes for fuck's sake. Well, he'd be back by two o'clock So He could have kicked me in the hole Kicked me in the hole once you get into that garage there and stop you're messing, but he didn't He didn't have a fair point no, he didn't have a He had the best point that like if you kick me in the hole, I'll go I'll go I'll get you that He's one of those things and and he didn't and after being in this fellow end And we met Louis Welch and we told him the idea of we want to make this Irish take that and they were the biggest boys at the time and uh Louis Welch pulled out Just he had a silver briefcase and he pulled out all this file of fact stuff and he was showing us The schedules of all these other bands and he said and I say fair play to Louis Welch, you know He's actually a really good man. He says lads I'll make is the sun the moon and the stars And we believed him And he fucking did yeah, he fucking did Like and from that process as you see in auditions early stages of auditions Me this other guy and Louis Welch and another couple of people sat behind the desk and all the other boys came in and auditioned So I seen Ronan Keaton come in and auditioned and Duffy and Mick and Steele and they all came out And I thought I could include what I was doing Just sat behind the desk and gone He's all rainy You know what I'm saying and it was a bit like it was it was uh It was it was just a chance a chance I read a book or an autobiography many years back called The Chancer And then that was just explains my life and just going for it like just taking the chance And and just hoping for the best fake it until you make it yet fake it until you're making you know and And I think there's a lot to be said for gone. I fuck it Fair play man, one of the biggest boy bands in british history over 25 million Single soul that's it's phenomenal. My mom and my sister that are massive fans of boys. Oh, I like them myself It's not me. We don't like them but that shit, do you I understand I remember years ago I only there's a funny thing growing up In a boy band 17 18 19 years old and you do get a female attention and the lads just want to fucking You just want to roll that's that all they want to do is fight and and and There was a lot of fighting in the early days of boys on but there was a lot of understanding too I never threw the force blow ever Because I get why that fella there has a problem with me. I fucking get it I understand it because if my board is chatting about some other gaza, I'm gonna have a problem Of course I am so I always understood the other man's pain if that makes sense The other man's pain that his board was into and it was I was more apologetic than any here at all Sorry, but that make you know what I mean? I'll tell you real quick about You know one of the one of the most horrible things that ever happened to me and and I never left me and it's horrible Things like this, but it's it's very innocent but uh, I was in Traveling about it would have been a race weekend actually back in early noise and Inusual in hotels there's weddings and weekends and that's that's that's the boys and right enough. I ended up meeting the The bride and she came out for the pictures and all that kind of shit and later on in the night I was just having a Few quiet points with it with the team and and the groom the husband came up and you know what he said and It was horrible. He says he says thanks very fucking much. He said for ruining my wedding night You know what I mean? I mean like his wife was kind of like mad about that and all of a sudden he's he felt inferior At that point. But I understood him, you know, I understood him and and I genuinely felt like I can't like I felt I'm like I'm I'm so sorry. It's not my intention. You know what I mean? I'm I'm soft like that. Like I'm not I'm not just hardened and out there. I'm not bullish I I genuinely have a heart and And you know, it did affect me. I'll never forget it for sure and anytime I ever see any fucking wedding I am on my Torn and I'm gone Even if they were like, oh, please come I'm like fucking gone. I just never I just never want to do that again You're up to three this kind of the the bad boy of the group and how did you get that reputation in? Do you know what? I I think I got that the bad boy of boys on earth because As my as my visuals it probably started as a visual um When we got into the band and the band was up and running and I've forced uk record say 1994 into smash hits on the road on the tour We were all we had a particular suit look and all that and that that's what the stylist at the time was I wasn't going against record company now. There's a stylist, but in the kind of 95. I was like, hold on a minute Don't particularly like what I'm wearing. So let me have a little character readjustment here at this point. I was I was sturdy. I was in the band. There was no like, you know, like right your ouching and kind of thing We were we were fixed. So it's all right. Let me undo the The kind of clean cut clean cut and just go back to me back to me for who I was being different Not necessarily even a bad boy because like I said, I'm not I'm not a bad guy In that scenario, but I am a bit rough around the edges for sure And I just I battle authority. I like to do my own thing and I like to be me And that said I ended up just kind of going a little bit more hip hop and a little bit back into who I was as a kid um And then I think the the biggest one was just I think I kind of got frustrated within the music industry and the frustration of that comes from You're in a magical place in the forest place what people think that is so you are in a dream world like Being an artist being a musician being at the top of your game and selling out arenas selling out thousands and thousands and thousands of fucking tickets Um, you know, that's a fucking dream for many many people And I suppose I had a certain amount of I it's called something I don't know what the fuck it's called But when you're in a place where you think you shouldn't be I don't know there's a word for it Um, but I didn't deserve it You know, I didn't I wasn't singing and writing songs and playing guitars all my fucking life to now step out into arenas Like I'm this artist. I'm just in there Oh And and and I think that kind of maybe took its toll a little bit of Oh, you know and and one of the things for my character changed too was a lot of the tv shows We were doing at the time uh your live in kickens and your gmtv's and all that kind of stuff that came with certain amounts of Uh performances and I don't just mean musically I mean on they would ask you to to read out certain things all auto q all this all that And I very quickly started to slip to the back of the group when it came to that because I couldn't read any of that shit I couldn't do any of those intros next coming up is blah blah blah blah because all auto q auto q stuff For those who don't know what auto q is When you're watching Philip and holly on this morning and stuff like that like when they're looking straight down the barrel of that camera There's a big screen in front of them that has all the written words that scrolls across But obviously you can't see it In the way that's all reflected. So that's what auto q is so you think they're amazing at their jobs, which they are Don't get me wrong But uh, you know, it's all written there right in front of them and everything comes out of mine It's not like they went and learned a script. It's not like that So I kind of slipped back into the background that what the boys I let them all go to the front But then that kind of came with a little bit of darkness to be fair It came with a little bit of mystery and a bit of mysterious kind of like why is this guy always in the background? But then I played on that I started to play on that kind of mystery and that darkness and become very unpredictable and that was just my way of expression and The visuals the tattoos All that kind of thing started to just build in my character on who I was the gold You know, whatever I was wearing at the time. It was that was me talking That was me talking without having to talk and I felt comfortable there though I felt comfortable because people were afraid to approach me And if you didn't approach me then I couldn't get anything wrong, right? Yeah, is that why you've done it though? Yeah, like going back to your youth when you were kind of the recluse kind of in the back room yourself How does that work then from someone who Wouldn't read a book out in school to then Performing in front of 20,000 people. That's just totally night and day on it. It's night and day But I was always a performer. Yeah, that's the difference. So you acted your way through it I acted my way through the whole thing the same as I did in school always a performer So and that made me that made me really be into entertainment then because it wasn't about the This this singing and the song writing and the studio. I loved studio actually I was going in recording songs, but I'm not a writer for obvious reasons pen to paper does them work. Um, so I just ended up being labeled as a bad boy because I just I probably started to say fuck off this and fuck off that on telly as well a live tv A band from iris light the reason why a lot of live iris television doesn't go on anymore is because of me Things I did You know, I made little things that I started to happen public enemy number one of ireland at one point, you know um, but That's not just because of choice. I think that's obviously because of the industry we lived in the industry we live in Look, you know, it's drug field. It's alcohol field. It's pressure field. It's depression field It's it's suicide field. It's it's a lot of things and that was that would have been starting going to the late 90s and that was starting to Creep into the world. We were my world anyway that we were living in Um, I started to go to the party started to boo started to To stay out late started to kind of find a crutch. I suppose a crutch within the industry and the mad thing is it's You are trying to You are trying to hide and drown out your own brain the sounds of of of what you don't want to be involved in anymore Who you are anymore? There was no pattern. There was no home life. There was no you just traveled the world you traveled the world uh Most days, I mean one year we were on a plane. I think it was 111 flights one year And you know, that's that's some crazy shit crazy crazy shit and and they the record company They just they just kept going they just kept churning it out and it was fine at the time We were young we were kids. We were making a product called boys on um, but in Backstage In the dark rooms of the mind. That's where everything just started to break down and and I think it's more It's not just hard work led. It's also it is industry led It's spirit led like the industry is full of of demon and spirit and dark fucking shit I know that I've been through it. I'm not just kind of saying willy-nilly that it's it's kind of full moon and werewolves Now it's fucking witchcraft and and fucking dark demonic shit Yeah, how was that then for such a young age to then get front of that limelight? Was there any people who took you under their wing and try to Channel you down and understand the game there it is because it's just a big game You're just a pawn through somebody else's whoever's Got the business or however you're working for you're just a pawn until your record sales go down and then you're kind of And was there anybody to take your side and say look watch out for this or stay away from drink or drugs I was just a case. I we're just going to burn these into the ground until we can get what we can get I'm gonna say it was born here to the ground without a doubt born here to the ground and We split up in year 2000 early 2000 we had flown to The u.s. We flew to to new york To meet record company out there We as you do as pop stars you flew on concord, you know i'm saying flew on concord to new york Went at a meeting and we were only in for less than 24 hours had a meeting and we were priority act for the u.s Going forward that year and I think at one point. We just all had a massive fucking bus stop And I'm not fisticuffs but just we came to the end of our teller came to the end of our teller And we said right. That's it. We had enough we had and Rightfully so I mean I was in a mad spiral downwards anyway So the best thing that ever happened that we didn't Head into the u.s. And and continue that journey. We were fucked. Do you remember what 23 24 as well still young? Maybe that yeah, maybe that so you're drinking drugs and stuff at that time is that already to numb the booze and we're mad booze us all us boys on irish boys were booze based where I think it's different in the uk culture and maybe world culture well I never came from a drug background never did and Not it just never took my fancy I love a gargle And I love I love a party. I love a booze. I love kind of I loved getting fucked up I love drinking from 11 a.m. In the morning till What a clock every day every day escapism as as as you say, you know I think depression was probably mad heavy at that time and boys on was over and It was like no caro side to pick me up to go anywhere that has been like every day of my life for the last seven eight years And it was just like well there you go What do you want to do with your life and fuck me? I played I think I sat indoors for weeks after weeks after weeks I bought like a Playstation or something. I'm not even a gamer but a playstation for something to do and I remember one point and I didn't come out of the house for like a month and I finished this game called resident evil And when I finished it, I picked it all up and fucked it into bin. I said, I'm never getting a game console ever again And I think that's part of the addiction Uh, I have an addictive spirit, of course um to to drive to be the best to to move uh to get something and Create the best out of that something that's an addictive an addictive spirit. I think um, but be it alcohol be it tv shows be it Music be it like, you know, if you're gonna do it do it fucking right Did you get addicted to the limelight and a success as well? No, I don't think I got addicted to the limelight or success success Yes, but not in limelight in terms of hey look at me. Um, I went the opposite way back to who I was as a Kid a recluse. Uh, it wasn't about look at me whatsoever um, and then I kind of Started to come out of that where race cars race cars was like, where do you feel that? Where do you feel that mad boys? where do you feel standing on stage and 100,000 people and that The energy that you get from that. How how do you possibly top that up? That's a fairytale world Adrenaline mad adrenaline. That's like it's incredible. How do you get that if you've known that for so long? And then is that something you crave? But I know I found it through race cars. I found it through putting a helmet on and putting yourself on life's edge I suppose and and and kind of uh, the adrenaline junkie. Yeah, extreme extreme stuff But extreme back in the day from bungee jumps to I know base jumps to race cars to you know, all that kind of thing that that just gets your your blood flowing Yeah So you had all that buzz all that adrenaline all that attention back gamers as human beings were constantly searching We just try to figure it out when we look back when you look back at it all do you think Would you do it again? Hell yeah Because it was seven years isn't that long You should have carried on for another five years 10 years, whatever It's not long in a lifespan But it's crazy long in That kind of torturous place. Yeah, it's fucking torturous in what way it's torturous mentally it's it's torturous physically it started like that Your kind of world travel and your time zones that you're constantly flipping between When you're meant to be sleeping. I'm meant to be on stage meant to be on stage meant to be sleeping and it's it's not like you got a Weeks rest between now your night after night after day after night after tv show after radio after concert and what you you know One of the ways I kind of ever try and explain it to someone is When you When you're going on holiday To get to that flipping airport to start packing your bags to say to what are you going to bring? What are you going to do? How are you going to bring it? You pack the suitcase you wait for the taxi the taxi flipping late you get to the airport accused for the goddamn Check-in is long and accused for the security is long and then you get on the plane And you sit there for fucking five hours scratching your whole doing nothing about it or shit dinner Then you get to the other side and the bus is late and eventually eventually on your holiday Eventually you get to your apartment and if that's a nice place to be then you're relaxed for two weeks and you have a great time Well, we do all that shit journey fucking every day So you're fucking stressed out. You're not you know, man. Yeah stress there You're not and it just it takes us to all on you It's not it's not you're going on holiday. It's just mad work after work after work every day So once you broke up once that came to an end Did your life get worse did you have more depression because you had nothing to fill your Life like it was in a big void. Yeah, I think so. I think I think definitely I went down down way way more into a depression or a depressive state Did anybody see this or did you hit that clicking back in and kind of Nobody saw that. I mean, yes. I know. I mean I was lucky enough to have My own piece of land Once the gates closed you are behind them gates, you know and I think I just had to work it out for myself and my family are amazing people, but I pushed them away I didn't I didn't want to talk to anyone didn't want to I didn't want help. I wasn't looking for help I didn't think I needed help. Let's start there forced. I actually didn't think there was anything wrong with me I just didn't want to fucking see a soul in life. It was everyone leaving the fuck alone and Looking back, of course, I was depressed as fuck You know like oh my god, it's it's not on suicidal, isn't it? You know, it's you're you're drinking yourself to death Into you know, just self self self harm self destruct And all you're trying to do is numb Numb what numb the lack of understanding of what the fuck I meant to do, you know, I don't know what I meant to do Uh, so what am I meant to do? I'm what do I and I think slowly what I started to It's kind of got back to the simple life and the simple life meaning A pattern Not necessarily a schedule, but Getting back into want to remember as it's being a kid, you know, you came home and you watched uh Home and away and and your pretty little program you said it's just a three o'clock You know your home your pizza and you're watching home and away over the shit And I started getting to a little routine and a pattern on little programs on tele And I started to go I like that Oh, I like that and I've never you didn't have Netflix like we do now and the laptop on when you're traveling the world You just had yourself and your own thoughts So you didn't know what programs were out there or what the tv shows were on whatever the western world was to our country The uk was talking about um And I started to get into that little eye It is good and then you can have then you can conversate with someone Like most people's lives are conversated around their daily life You can't conversate with anyone with the fucking life we live unless you are conversate with the same kind of person and That because you you're you're you're bored to you're bored You're fucking mind answering the same questions that you answer at a time that other people want to ask you about the life You live being a pop star So you just want normal conversation So eventually you find that and then eventually you kind of see a light or a rhyme and a reason but I just I think in about late 01 02 I started to look at music projects again but on a and a kind of more Love projects not necessarily looking to release but just making music for what that is More to what I was into and one of my best friends From back in the day and two years now A guy called ben a fado. He was a singer of fats and smiles and he he himself He was always one of the guys I looked up to within the industry. I don't have many industry friends Not really interested in industry friends But for some reason I had a great connection with this guy ben and Over the years, we've always kind of we hung out in the the london scene the hip-hop scene and to kind of as a pop band a pop act Boys on I always found myself Going back to the music I love of course and that's going and back in the day back in london in kind of late 90s in early 90s You know hip-hop was underground. It's not like as we know it today. It's the forefront of the musical charts. It was proper grimy grimy places maybe two three you could go to within london and that's where me And ben he always found ourselves another pile of mine called abs fm 5 and another guy called daniel bowers Amongst many which are doing a music project right now called boys on block but that's that they'll come out of my crew from back in the day and He was one of the guys when I started to kind of look at music again Uh, he he started to bring me out of my depression from the way he was as a person his general walk of life I fucking had everything I had everything I had the million pound. I was at a pauses of rarries lambos fucking champagne caviar for everyone You know, I mean but this guy and I was depressed as fuck and this guy he was just regular man. I mean He had a big hit record fast and smalls massive massive band but You know still working his way up in the music people think you make you make a number one record and that's it You got you got your mansion. It's not like that. It's fucking hard graph and He was still making his way to life, but he is his mind his body his soul his attitude. He had it all And I just wanted to know why why is he so flipping happy and that wasn't So I said, you know, I I approached his manner approached his him as a being and The way he started to speak to me was it was biblical not gonna lie It was a biblical way of speaking in parodies in terms of Just lines from the Bible stories from the Bible and to breaking them down to me and what they mean to me in today's Living and the more I I heard him speak the more he spoke to me the more the more I went to the light if you want to call it Is the more I my belly started to get fed I started to feel avoid of loneliness and that depression started to be Started to lift I suppose because I started to find joy in the word and the word was it was biblical words it was the word of Christ and The more music projects we did the longer we stayed Friends and in other bands and doing stuff is the more I could be with this guy and to to take me out of a dark place I knew the dark like I knew the dark. Well I was involved in Certain demonic things over my late 90s into no early noise. So I I know the fucking dark side so it was just plain and simple for me if I know the dark then has to be a light and I followed it. I followed the light and life changed dramatically Absolutely dramatically when it came to my love of Christ So you focused all your energy on to someone else higher power cries whatever people look at it differently So you believe that saved your life. Definitely 100% How old were you? She doesn't know. It was oh Later oh two into oh three. So it was just the early 30s Yeah, probably not all. I don't know. I'll do the math So yeah, but um, I'm not too sure how old I was um, but I I said I my wife now that I met her in late That was a late oh two. I don't know for a couple of years in the industry. Um, but we got together and kind of early oh three and she Her dad was a bishop and her brother was the pastor of a church because that had passed away at that point. Um, and the more we Were together and there was she she's the same she was born again christian And it was the more light I was fed from her is the more I wanted to know more again And I started to go to a bible class a bible study on a wednesday night And it was just amazing. I mean the food I was given was amazing And that doesn't mean the rice and peas and dumplings. I'm talking about spiritual food like it was it was just to The sweetest taste I've ever tasted in my life, you know, the the The want for it the hunger for it week after week was just incredible. I was excited I hadn't been that excited for years excited to hear the word excited to be filled excited to get that knowledge excited to grow excited just to get out of a fucking dark shit and That's really where my change came from. Yeah to find some purpose again It's scary man being in a dark place and drinking and not having any drive to go up in the morning and hiding from your pain and masking it whether it's Success or fucking hookers or coke or alcohol is to mask it But it takes through inner strength to then find a purpose whether that's turning to Christ Whether that's just trying to become a better person whether that's taking control your addictions Whether that's admitting it when you obviously went into your depression You were too proud to say anybody you were struggling because as men back then We don't understand. We were totally suppressed. We're feelings and emotions It's hard to open up because people go shut up. You're fucking this or that is now I realize that speaking out is Your chance of healing. It's your chance of grown as an individual and understanding that we're all a little fucked up We've all got a little bit of misery no matter if you're a pastor or no matter if you're a born again christian We're still a bit fucked up. We're still a bit loopy But whatever you're focusing on as long as you're doing the right thing as long as you're not harming anyone then Do whatever you want, but it is a weird time for everybody But you got out of it. So respect are you still working progress today? You still battle 100% Ah, you're never fucking golden child You know Like without a doubt I wake up with bad days, man. I'm you know, I still battle with a lot of demons A lot of demons for sure and they they come from many different areas I suppose but uh, I think It's it's a journey life of course is a second journey, but it's it's full of the hills and valleys and If you're just on top of that hill all the time, then I don't know who the fuck you are but well done But if you're if at the bottom of the valley You can climb up you can get out you can have a great fucking day and You can slip back down Of course you can go fast. You can slip back down and and I think the more we learn about our Hormonal selves as men and women Uh, you know, you said rightly there about growing up as a kid You meant to suppress those feelings or those emotions or you meant to be a man, aren't you? You meant to be a boy. I meant to be fucking solid. I meant to cry about shit And I think the more we're allowed to talk about that. It's it's nice It's fucking nice. Yeah, it's nice to be able to kind of unload or to just kind of Tell somebody your problems and they'll show you an avenue or a way out of them mentally that is and but some days i'm you know I've kind of recently gone into Uh, I call him a shrink Uh, since maybe just maybe just when lockdown happened. I started kind of shrink sessions and Again, just americanized things because that's how I think. Um But some days that I want to talk to him You know, some days that I don't fucking speak and some days I don't want to Say shit. I don't want to say and some days I cannot wait to talk to the man Some days I need to talk to the guy and some days I come off the end of that phone going Oh, thank god. Thank god. I fucking spoke to him because your man Your brain is your fucking brain like it doesn't matter when you wake up in the morning And I think we we we spend too much time looking around us For who you know, everybody else and what they're thinking And what's on the telly and what's that when you wake up in the morning and open your eyes You are you Nobody else is you you're fucking you And how you think today is what's going to make you you And how you act today is going to make Your life scenarios and situations And if you can control them And as you said rightly Try and do what's right then things are more than likely going to be all right if you're waking up With no fucks given And ready to give the world no fucks given then there's a lot of shit can come your way So I think it's important to be you and be strong for you It's difficult because now we've got social media The first day where you wake up in the morning is your most creative same as the last day where you go to sleep It's the most creative where you're when you're sending your frequencies out where you will attract that So if you're waking up in the morning flicking through your phone Can't be asked getting up looking at other people thinking that they're living their life You're sending out those signals that your lives are inadequate. You don't feel good enough where and that's exactly what you're going to feel So if you have a negative thought if you have an insecure thought what you're going to do You want it automatically if you're insecure and if you do that Consistently every morning every morning you're going to follow those patterns And it is difficult the changes that you've made the changes that myself has made But I still fucking battle every day's a struggle And I say okay, I need to get up today because if I can lie in my bed saturday sunday It seemed to be my lazy times if I have if I eat a bit of bread or a baguette I will eat for two or three days after that. So it's like crack to me now So I need to make sure that those two days don't turn into five days five weeks and months and so on and so on But but you have to be fair to yourself too Like you have to understand that you need a break to ever human you have to be You know and if it takes three days And you need three days then fucking take it to like sometimes The mind will like One of my biggest problems I've had in life and it continues is jumping from one mind set to another jumping from The shoe company I own To the car program I'm making to the music I'm Trying to record to the gym that's about to be closed on me to the the bar. I'm open and to you know I've got a million fucking heads and there is times where I can't deal with two different things in one day and there's times I can deal with five of them in one day I can go flip flip flip or some days I try and do two and I'm fucking crash out like my brain fucking crashes out and I've got to go home Why do you think you do so many things because I work look fuck because the reason being I don't like sitting with my own thoughts because when I sit my own thoughts I become dangerous And I don't like that. So I keep busy constant up at six in the morning Drive on the leads love or pull Manchester and back up the road. I can get asleep. I'm tired But when I sit myself My method my madness kicks in and I start thinking crazy shit get a drink get a bit of coke Fuck it because when you start doing well as well, you've got self-sabotage Yeah, you just want to rip the whole ceiling down because with success becomes more pressure So it's it's difficult that I've got to write with a man. I've got to find balance see my kids have fun climb a mountain do whatever the fuck I've got to do naturally everything we find keep learning keep educating There's a man Akala who I listen to quite a lot and he always says it knowledge is power Which it is just educate yourself unwire your brain. You can change the way you think and feel but It's scary to slow down as do you find that yourself that you've worked too much because It's your method of thoughts might kick in the negative ones. Yeah, there's a form of escapism in that too, of course there is and but it's good I mean what you're saying there is exactly right and but we also saying there is you know yourself very well If you didn't know that about yourself, you're in a fucking worse place for sure Is the fact that you know that shit my head will kick in if I'm not doing something that's taking care of yourself too You know, you're still looking after you by Going out to work and making sure you're busy and there's certainly nothing wrong with that. Okay, you're gonna get it can get excessive But there are tools and ways and books and people and out there who can help you Undo those crazy thoughts the more the more they spark in there is the more You hone and then the more you hone in on them is the fucking more mighty you get and I've been through those scenarios I still go through those scenarios Um, but rightly I will find ways and means and ways to to keep that mind occupied and and methods then To try and overcome them when it when it happens. Do you think though we can search too much? Yes constantly reading constantly searching constantly what to improve constantly want to be the biggest podcast But again a question that what the fuck can you break it all down? What the fuck does it actually mean? Do you know what I mean? Well, you know what for you? I think it means a lot More than just a simple way of of of a podcast. You're out there delving into people's stories and lives and Which without a doubt and you'll never know yourself ever know I'm sure you get kind of dams and stuff But you'll never know how much this stuff helps people and That's in it that in itself is is is is is such an amazing It's an amazing thing you're doing because you're putting yourself to a position of traveling the world and Exposing many Of your not weaknesses, but that your trouble times yourself and exposing the fact that you're human great And then but putting yourself under a lot of pressure But there's a lot of respect The reason why your podcasts are so That they're going through the roof and you're getting so many hits on them because people are fed from them And you're feeding a lot of people Mentally feeding a lot of people and people are listening to the stories of the others And they're like fuck. I know what it is to be feeling like that. And if you didn't do that Then you know that that will pass that person by We're talking about mental health. We're talking about getting help. We're talking about shrinks. We're talking about You know reaching out we're talking about Being vulnerable And if you don't know you're allowed to be vulnerable, then you'll you'll never Come out the other side. So yeah, what you're doing is quite an amazing thing Uh, we've just got to keep learning and people watching your story. They'll probably just think Successful boy band. He's done many things. It was a successful guy But not understand that you actually struggle in battle to this day If not, your problems will probably be a hundred times worse than Maybe the average person who works 95 because of their attention as well. Attention brings misery So it does it really does a lot of people don't quite understand Well, look, I think it's probably fair to say if you never understood why famous people got fucked up in the head Because of the attention and scenarios that are bad things said about them or Being affected by what things are said is look at our kids today They're all in the famous people now. They're all in the social medias and they're all coming home affected by that post and It used to be just us because we were on your tv screens Now everybody's got a tv screen in the fucking hand and they're allowed to be on it And the more you put yourself on it is the more you open yourself up to the world And for people to have an opinion and if you're anyway, particularly vulnerable that opinion is going to hurt you Yeah, it's difficult like you say there. It's we're constantly looking at screens Words words do sting they do hurt you no matter what you're if you're reading that in your mind and you A lot of people Potentially believe it and the figures are there since social media has been about there's been a 60% rise in male suicide Then people say be a man But really when you think about it men are weaker than women the men are the ones who are Suicide rates going through the roof. So there's obviously some chemical imbalance or whatever it is that's pushing men Over the edge and that is it scary. But yeah fair play. So when you got yourself out the light How are you feeling then in 2000s 2005s and so on you in your driving Yeah, I thought I had a good grasp on life to be honest. I thought I had I fucking got this You defeated that you're I am the golden child. You know, I got this and me and the boys on boys. We got back together and oh seven uh on into a Kind of forced reunion back for that into 08 and stuff and you know, it felt amazing You know, it felt fucking great. It was like, yeah, man And then I soon realized that the industry is the flipping industry as soon as I stepped back Into those fucking shoes of that guy I left way back when. Oh my god It it's this again, like I said, it's spiritual you go back into a behavior that you once knew so it's like I guess it's like conquering an evil Be it Okay, let's call it a drink. Let's go straight to the pope Conquering that evil and going I got this and then going on a flip and stag do Into the fucking strip clubs and into the bars and in with the boys going. Yeah fucking yeah fucking and all of a sudden You know, oh, shit. I don't got this I don't fucking got this at all and before you know what you're back on the booze and you're back on whatever the hell you're doing and I and I think but the The fucking the train was it was already left the station man. I was on it again It was on it. The tickets were sold and going on tour And then yeah creeped back in that whole behavior creeped back in the whole kind of dark side creep back in and you know, we've been I suppose on and off tour since oh wait um And in oh nine like probably the hardest tour we ever did and it was oh nine without a fucking shadow of a doubt um, we were making Our album it's called brother and the brother album was uh, it's called brother because One of our pals Steven Gailey. He died so he was 33 and uh Yeah, he pretty much, you know, we all got the call to say he had passed and we were in the studio. We were making the album and We were that was just like a fucking It was it was quite a surreal time I don't think I've ever really Got to the point of understanding it of course, but we never understand death. Of course, we don't It's not for us to understand really. It's just for us to either grief accept Or you know live with whatever the k you want to be it doesn't matter who you lose your mother your father your sister brothers daughters You know When you love somebody and they they're gone it's They are gone like that's genuinely that's it like that's game over and it's up to all of us to to make Life and then roads of how we're gonna live, but there's no right time for that to go It's not like if I only had another 10 years, then I'd be happy if they were gone. You're never gonna be happy You really are never going to be happy like ah, well, that was okay. I had enough for her. Anyway, you know, you know I'm saying it's when you love and you lose Uh, you just have to learn to deal with that shit And me and the boys, you know, we went on we we completed the album. We were very unsure about that But we did we said we'd do it in honor Of steel passing and then we went on tour Fuck me. That was that was bad like we taught I think we all I thought like maybe I shouldn't speak for the rest of the boys as such one of the weird things about any any of interviews that we do um that I've learned or me and the boys is We all have very different takes on our journey in boys on it is like, you know people talk about the books of the bible or Matthew mark luke and john being Contradiction each other and what they're saying and all I well he's saying and he's saying that well I could have each and it's pretty wasn't boys on as the same. You know, we we all have a different view I remember shit very different than they remember But uh, you know, we're all lived that said we're all there at that moment and I think for me going on tour was it was like I thought It was it was where we were best at but it wasn't it was fucking clear as day dad. Shit. This was so hard Standing on stage as four instead of five looking where my brother always was And just not there that was mad shit like and that was another mad spiral down I think that particular tour mad spiral down mad boozed up tour Fuck me. Yeah, I thought I was boozed up for months Months again escaping that feeling escaping that that fucking That torture so that heart or that pain just trying to drown it out as much as possible Yeah, it's it's weird that if you're so low so depressed or vulnerable You probably thought we're going back on tour. They've been your medicine not realizing It's probably been your poison making you worse making your spiral Because I know when steven passed god rest his soul that he's all slept under the NFL parlor. What was that thinking behind that? That was the church. It was that we all slipped in the church um Theo was always afraid of the dark and He was his coffin was in the church um overnight so me and the boys were like Yeah, let's go sleep there. Let's go get our Blankets or sleeping bags over the hell we go And go and have the crack In the church like we laughed our bollocks off We laughed our bollocks off we cried our hearts out We you know, it was amazing that the priest was amazing And laying there was a knock on the church door about 1 a.m And there's an old singer called Daniel O'Donnell Folk and Daniel O'Donnell brought us in fish and chips, you know, I sat down and had a wee dram with us And you know, it was it was an amazing time and an amazing thing to be able to do Um, but yeah, and that's that was the reason because Theo was afraid of the dark man So we just yeah fair play even though looking back and about a misery and about a ton more on thinking it was You must have made some fucking great memories brother Do you know I mean you must have made your dad proud as well successful sisters and bewitched yourself one of the most successful boy bands You must have made a lot of people proud and even if people go into the concerts and stuff You must have made them feel good that you're going to see their heroes are I think I think what music is or how I feel music is Music or I I had an opportunity to be a part of a deliverer of happiness for folk a deliverer of emotions memories and I never stood on that stage as I am the fucking artist and I'm the fucking pop star here. I stood on that stage given the people They're the heroes there. It's their journey more than it probably was ours We just we were the makers. We made the shit and the people lived the shit And and I think that's what music is all about. I think To stand up there and go yeah fucking I I am MTV awards and blah blah blah blah blah They're playing door stops on me toilet, you know Which are amazing door stops. I'm getting along. It looks fucking great But the true heart of music and any creator I think is in the pleasure of the receiver. Yeah, boyzone's biggest song no matter what you hate it. Why? Bored the shit out of me You know it touched a lot of people but at the time was in a dark place. I was in a dark ass place So that song was like fuck Just making you feel worse. Yeah So when you go through all this now in 2020, you're still trying to get into the music you and a few of the Schoolboys So you must be something inside you that even though there's something You hate it in a way and you know you spiral fast, but there's obviously must be something and you're that Okay, this is a different time. Maybe it can be better. There must be some passion and you that you must love it I learned a great trade. Mm-hmm, you know being an artist and Being in me not necessarily Yeah, I don't know. I learned something that I do love it But I think in a lot of circumstances of the boys on scenario. It wasn't me. It wasn't my character And I think now in this time around I have an opportunity To do what I like to do and it's it's just more comfortable and with the boys Old-school friends like that who are all into the same kind of scenario and understand the same music project and the same Creativity I battled a lot and boys on the creativity. They didn't understand why I did shit. They didn't understand why I grow a big ass beard. They don't understand why I got tattooed. They didn't understand They don't stand that side of who I was where these boys have no opinion on that I rock up and I rock up and it's they rock up and they rock up What big men In the industry now There's not we didn't grow as kids as such in the same Family nigger and bickering You do this you do that you can't do this you do that. It's a child. It's just childless position almost boys on continued to Because that's how we knew it. Yeah, he's wrong the kids only kids and we stayed as kids I think that's the problem The mentality stays as kids and we're at this now in this new project I'm a fucking man And so where's the boy is it abs you? Me abs, Dave Bowers and Ben And you just want to get singles and stuff out next year album. We've got a record out on November 20th Excited. Yeah. Are you nervous? No, if you spider leg in me, I'm coming back here, man. I'm fucking taking up to Scotland No, I'm excited about it. It's fun. It's a fun project and I'm doing songs I like to do like we're kind of paying homage to the 90s and the music we were into in the 90s Um It's kind of the 90s relived or remade but from just different artists. We loved good stuff, man So moving forward for the future then obviously you've got that project. What other stuff you've got in the pipeline? Boy get this tv show off the ground now. You know, this is the next few month build. I don't mean physical. I mean just on viewership I just enjoy this like I come into work here every couple of days for about an hour People I'd like to say I was in here for long Lazy bastard people Look at the shots look at the clips look at the thingies and go right cool all in order and I and I love I love the process of what it is a water can create we can create a lot of shade here and I'm about to create My own world of content. I'm mad for it. Like yeah, good on you. Yeah, you look happy, bro It's good to see you mate for anybody that's watching Maybe struggling battling and a dark hole themselves. What advice would you have for them? I think it's really hard to advise anybody in a dark hole because all they want to tell you is fuck off You don't understand and I get that. I've been there. I've been to the fuck off scenarios, but It can and it does get better if you if you let it you can just block that shit out forever Push people away forever and and just want no help pride is involved. I'm not even you know Us men we can be awful fellas for just covering that shit up But if you've got it inside you, you know, if you've got it inside you to allow that little bit of release To extend that hand and just ask someone listen Don't even say you want help just ask them what they would do. What would you do if you know this? Don't be scared man. It's a scared. The world's fucking scary. It's a scary ass place and Don't be afraid. It can it can get better Fair play brother a lesson for coming on today and telling your story. It's very much appreciated I look forward to seeing your journey again back in the music scene So, yeah, I'll be jumping on your facebook live later, which we'll leave the link on in the description, but Top man sound. Yeah. Cheers brother. Thank you. Thank you. Cheers Check out more of my podcasts on the right and be sure to like share and comment your thoughts on this week's podcast Thank you