 Hey, hey, welcome to another episode of Talks with Tony. Now we are moving right along. Thank you all so much for being patient with me. And I know y'all realize, man, Tony is not like every other content creator. He'll give us a series for a couple weeks and fall off for a couple months, but hey, we keeping things suspenseful. Now moving right along, as y'all know, I do not pre-read these. We are reading these together, but what I do is scan it to see if it's enough details in it. And we have a decent amount of details in this email. It doesn't have a title from the writer, so I'll give it a title. Here we go. I'm sorry, I know this is a lot. I hope you can read it all. Hi, I recently started watching your videos and was inspired by them. They were very helpful to me and I know too many others, so thanks for that. Okay, so I don't know if this is really a question or if I just want to know if I made the right decision or did something wrong to get this outcome. I am now 38 years old. Hey, we the same age. And I have three children. I just recently separated from a 19 year relationship. My oldest daughter is 21 now, but she was two and a half when we got together. Me and him actually grew up together as little kids. Fast forward, we have had a journey to summarize the past. He used to be in jail a lot and I will be the one getting lawyers and taking care of bills and kids. He didn't really want my oldest daughter around her dad. Sometimes it was also physical abuse. So I kept my daughter and her dad separated. Something I did regret. Moving forward, it was always cheating as long as I could remember. But after his last time in jail, years ago, he got out, worked and we had our second child together. That was about three years ago. As time went on, I began to just get tired. I knew he was cheating again. He would deny it. When I caught it, he said he stopped. He later moved out of town with a girl and I found out I was pregnant. He kept telling me to get an abortion. I was going to raise my child on my own, but I just eventually did it. He actually came back the day I was scheduled. That bothered me for a long time. He would make up things and text me as if he was texting another man to make it look like I was cheating. I'll come home and ask, what is this? He would say I was playing. But I knew he was sending that to a girl to make it look a certain way. The next year, he was shot over 10 times. I quit my job to help him. I would handle the court and bond and try to be at the hospital every day. After that, he went to a family member's house. I was unable to travel that far due to me having to get another car because it was no longer safe in mind that he used to drive. I would use my daughter's car, but his mom would ask for me not to bring the kids. So that made me uncomfortable. I didn't let him move back because now I was woke. I felt like he endangered me and my children and he was cheating the day before his accident. About a year and a half has went by now and we were seeing each other. But I would say we're not together because out of the blue, he would now message my oldest daughter's dad and accuse him and me of being together, which was sick. He would do that with people that I didn't know and actually spread a rumor, not always to them, but to others. Then apologize to me, then do it again. So I would have to block him to keep my sanity. We found out I was pregnant again and then he started again. Now he would say to others that it was my oldest daughter's dad, baby. He would send posts off of social media from my daughter's dad's page that had nothing to do with anything. He also tried talking to his ex, talking to his fiance on social media, lied and got caught and said he did it because he thought he was talking to me. Mind you, I have no problem with my oldest dad. We just don't talk and I haven't been with him in over 20 years. It's sick, but he never wanted me to have social media. So I found out he had it. It was just a lot. Some words can't even explain. I got another abortion. It was too much. He would come back and say he just wants to prove himself to me and he's going to do whatever it takes. I'm like, okay, but I didn't let him move back. But I didn't let him move back for numerous reasons. I had lost enough and I had got to the point where I wasn't willing to lose anything else. So this year I would ask him, are you still messing with the girl you had been cheating with since my baby was born? I can tell I knew him. I had only been with him in 19 years. So I knew him. He would say no and text and call and say he wouldn't do that. I found out I was pregnant Mother's Day 2022. He was acting strange, but he was happy. We still weren't living together. I know he really didn't want to be at his family member's house, but I knew I couldn't deal with him flipping and starting stuff to get outside. And then I had other concerns as well. So I found out the girl I heard about was also pregnant. We had to be weeks apart. I also found out he moved with her and she was staying with his family member too. The same family member who would bring him to my house, my kid's grandmother, his mom. He denied it first, then said she's rich. She's supposed to be getting $3 million settlement. Is what I kept hearing. I would still try to work and take care of the kids. He would call our 14 year old daughter and tell her, your mom's sleeping with your sister's dad. Just crazy stuff. He would just say things that anyone who knew me wasn't true. He would say things I'm not doing for my kids. Just make up stuff. I ended up finding out my unborn baby had passed and I had to have surgery to remove it. I told his mom he found out and said me and my oldest daughter did something to it. And now we're old, we're old him and now we owed him. Just crazy stuff. The other girl still has no clue me and him were having another child that passed or that we were together. I will say that we're not together but that's because I didn't want the responsibility of a grown boy and all the drama hoping he will change. He now doesn't really see our children at all and recently texted our daughter. He's sorry and he missed me and I didn't respond but five days later he texted your mom know what she did and stated my oldest daughter's dad bought me things on Valentine's Day. Things he made up. My daughter bought me things showed him receipts and bank statements that he apologized for. She told him I showed my mom how she deserves to be treated because you couldn't. My oldest graduated with a 4.5 GPA as her own apartment and everything. I go over and beyond for my children. I have been working around their schedule since they were born. I also had put my career on hold for him but I just recently decided to make steps to get back in my field. I did have an order of protection but I dropped it after they couldn't find him. I let him know he can not pop up at my house. He is still blocked off my phone. Now he's blocked off our daughter's phone due to him not knowing how to talk to kids. I have asked repeatedly what day and time do you want to get your children or see them and he can't commit to it. So at this point I just left it alone. I haven't reached out to see or communicate with the other female because I feel I'm too old for that especially because she's my oldest daughter's age and it's not worth it. I am a God fearing woman who have a relationship with God so it's a lot of things I just won't do. But your videos and my support system and my faith in God and knowing that he would take you through a pruning season to get you ready for a new beginning kept me going. Oh he would tell me I changed. I told him yes I'm not a doormat anymore. If I knew he cheated or was being slick I would not let him stay and he had began to annoy me and I have kids. He felt like another one but now he's working and doing everything I wanted him to do that hurts but I used to say to him maybe God used me to mold you for the next woman. I used to tell him why do you have to lose what you have to realize what you have. So yes it's been a journey. I do believe the girl knew certain things about me because we were still living together when he started cheating with her and if he was around her he would just talk different and I'll hang up but she would just be quiet. So I guess I wanted to know if you were able to read all this did I do anything wrong and would he ever regret what he did to me and what the truth ever come out. I haven't seen him since before my surgery. My surgery was June 9th 2022 to remove our baby. He haven't seen my kids since August 20th. He also just recently had words with my oldest daughter he makes his thoughts reality. Then we'll flip it and say to my oldest daughter why are you hating on me you can be this and that if you try and karma is real and how and how he's doing so good. I told her just block him. He had just dropped off some things for our kids and for me for my birthday to my daughter. Obviously I gave the stuff he gave me to his daughter. It's crazy how far he goes. At first I thought he really believed these things but then I thought no he's just a liar that have to maintain his lie. Our baby was cremated also but I'm a lot better now. Some days I still say to myself is this real but I keep going but it's crazy because I'm normally the one who gives everyone else advice. LBVS but I do feel like this was another test that will be a testimony to others one day but I have powerful child support but I am surprised how he really doesn't see our kids especially our baby boy that loves him so much but it's fine. It just motivates me to work harder. Thanks for your time. Now that sounded like a voice to text honestly because it wasn't a lot of punctuation in there so y'all have to forgive me as I was reading it because she probably was speaking it into the phone or she was typing it really fast and so I know some details that was left out just for the sake of her trying to condense it because I really got lost because after she said she had three kids but I couldn't identify where the third one was born and I know the first one was two and a half when she got with this guy and then it was two or three abortions in there and this is see I would like to see if you know a guy and not just one guy well if everybody knows a guy then we'll see a lot of this but I would like for the guys that y'all know who have met a woman like this to email in to inbox at tonigaction.com because I'm trying to see something you know I'm trying to find a balance because a lot of times when I talk to men they're like oh women just worse as men women just worse as men but I never have seen or heard the stories of a woman doing a man like this like of a woman getting pregnant by a man and then choosing herself to terminate the pregnancy because she's mad with the man and like doing it over and over and over again and misleading the man and going out and getting pregnant by other men in spite of the man and living off other men but dealing with this man over here who's being good to her and loving her and giving her chance after chance and we know it has happened but I get thousands of these type of emails from women and it just kind of is sad to see that this type of man exists like it's very sad like I guess the Lord had to create good and evil so that we can have balance in the world but it is just absolutely insane but it also shows me how trauma plays into mental health issues because this guy is posting stuff on Facebook and to be honest with you he sounded like one of my family members I got a family member like that and as she was writing I'm like my goodness she talking about she talking about my family member I thought because I had a family member that does stuff like that and just cannot get right and just cannot do right by women has kids can't do right by the women can't do right by the kids get on Facebook and post crazy stuff he posting all kind of stuff he posting stuff that be family business and be posting kids business and stuff that then happen to the kids trauma the kids and experience and he'll post it trying to take a dig at their mama who is his family and this ain't even about ex-girlfriends or ex-wives or baby mamas that they be talking about and so this stuff the fact that I know it's real for real because I see it in my family is it's very sad to think of and and I'll be honest with you when you're dealing with this kind of man and if it's the inverse situation so if this is a woman out there like this too if you happen to be dealing with a woman like this if you're a man watching this or whoever this is very dangerous this is very dangerous because what I try to tell people and a lot of times this goes over people head but every man is a killer every man is a killer because every one of us could be drafted if they bring back the draft every man would be drafted into the army and if we got to go to war we got to pull a trigger unless we got a different type of job but every man has it in him and it doesn't matter how nice that man is it doesn't matter how what kind of job he has so I oftentimes ask men who have daughters because I don't have daughters and I hope the question doesn't freak them out or they don't think that I'm talking about what they would do to me if I did something to their daughter but I oftentimes will pull on the heart string of a man and say hey you know you got a daughter well I know they got a daughter and I'm like if a guy hurt her you know like if a guy did something to her would you kill for her and immediately like absolutely like without hesitation and this guy could be the most productive citizen in the world like he could be great job never went into prison living his life right and that always reminds me that every man has something he'll put everything on line for and I know that as a man and I got sons and I have a wife and in the right for the right reason I'll take a life for any one of them and that's what I try to tell women now these are men who that I'm talking about men who doing something out of you know love so if a man can do that out of love and I seen a guy do it his two sons were killed by a drunk driver and the drunk driver got on bail or something like that and the guy went and took the life of that man and the guy had to go to trial and he actually beat it like his lawyer he got off because of the reason he took this drunk driver's life it was because of his two twin boys I think got killed by the drunk driver in her car crash and he didn't have to do time so even the judge justified it and so when you see it on that side you also have to understand the other side because some men will do stuff just out of insanity or do stuff out of trauma or do stuff out of anger and self-hate so when a guy is showing signs that he is completely reckless and so you're dealing with a guy I can only imagine you know where y'all from this guy going to prison he spent a lot of time in prison you taking care of things you you there for him you doing all of this like it just sounds very y'all in some stuff that type of man who will do criminal activity to the point that he gets caught and has to go to jail for it that's the type of man you don't want to deal with that's the type of man you don't want to play with that's the type of man that he's losing it day by day he's going crazy and that is the type of man that you'll wake up dead you'll wake up dead that's the type of man will do something to his own children I just seen in the news not long ago a man's wife or a girlfriend I think he alleged she was cheating on him now the mind is so powerful it could be powerful in a good way and also in a bad way the guy could have had evidence the case didn't go that deep on the news or it could have been made up in his mind and so when you think about it just like how this guy is saying your other baby daddy buying you gifts on valentines and then your daughter had to show him receipts and bank statements that she bought the gifts and he's saying your baby daddy did this or you sleeping with your other baby daddy you doing all this and you kept saying over and over because you're talking to me anonymously you could have said especially after you told me about all them pregnancy terminations I know that you're a transparent person and you being transparent that's a telltale sign right there because you didn't have to mention that you've had multiple pregnancy terminations and then you also had a baby that died so it's a lot going on in your life and them fallopian tubes and just in your body you've been through a lot of trauma and for you to express that I know that you would have said I did cheat on him or not cheat on him or I am still dealing with my first baby daddy because I love him but you said I haven't been with him in over 20 years and it's sick and you said that two or three times so that lets me know you have nothing to do with this other man your first baby daddy and this baby daddy keeps making this stuff up and posting it on Facebook and sending it to you that this type of man he probably on some type of drug or he just got a really bad mental issue but he creating these narratives in his mind and we can get to the place where when our mind is gone and I done been there we'll create a narrative and we'll get ourself in trouble like we'll put ourself in a tough situation just based on what's going on between our ears and so when you identify that somebody is like that and you dealing with that type of person you gotta run you gotta cut all communication because when you're talking to the person who is like that mentally it's kinda like the jack in the box and it's like every time you talk to that person you take another wind and then you talk to him again you take another wind so it's really like you stringing them along like you winding them up and then one day boom it's gonna erupt in your face and you don't know to what level it could be just ramming you in the back of your car it could be running you off the road it could be kicking your front door down just to scare you and blow up on you it could be hitting you and it could be killing you and like I was gonna say I saw on the news the guy thought his wife was cheating or called her cheating and he took the life of their three children put the three kids in the back seat shot all three of them and then took his own life and it was really to have that woman have to live with that pain for the rest of her life but this man was so gone mentally that he had so much trauma, pain, or mental issues that his woman cheating on him pushed him to that place and it sounded like you got a man that could be close to that and so you gotta pick up on these red flags because it's a lot of men that we'll go through stuff with a woman we'll find some shady stuff if we go through our woman phone we may find some stuff we don't like but the majority of us is not gonna go on Facebook and post about it the majority of us not gonna take her life the majority of us gonna be like okay wow the next woman may pay for it you know by accident or she may not or the man just may stay single but when a man is showing you the signs he already a criminal he asks you to terminate babies he then blames you and then he talked crazy to children like he put your children into lies that he's making up not even the facts it's one thing to tell your child about the facts so that they clear on it it's a whole another thing to tell your child about things that your mind has created that you have no proof of that ought to say something to you so hey listen to me you cutting him off blocking him on your phone on your daughter phone you did the right thing you did the right thing and you gotta get as far away from him to be honest with you even with a man like that if you could move to another living space if you pan if you on a lease when that lease is up if you can move to an equal space if it's not possible don't worry about it it's not like he's an imminent threat right now it doesn't sound like but if you feel in your spirit that you need to get a new address that he doesn't know where you're at and can't find you then you wouldn't be wrong for that either so hey you did the right thing pay attention to the red flags pay attention to these signs and make sure that you don't play with it make sure that you see when someone is doing something that you would not do doing something that other humans you know would not do that lets you know you dealing with a special breed of a person and you gotta get as far from them as you can hey there's Tony Gaskins thank you so much for tapping in with talks with Tony if you want to send in your story your question send it in to inbox at TonyGaskins.com inbox at TonyGaskins.com thank you so much and make sure that you hit notification bell hey and thank you to those of you who have been hitting that super thanks that little heart under the video I really appreciate that it's kinda like a little tip like a little applause say thank you and it means the world to me so thank you for that wishing you the best God bless you we'll talk soon