 Narcissists are insane. They're in a state of mind which prevents normal perception, behaviour and social interaction. They're mentally ill, which is why the first thing they have to do when they realise that you're not on the same page as them is break you down and try to destroy you because you're like this light that reflects back to them that they are insane. You're becoming a constant reminder to them and they don't want to be reminded of that so they try to destroy you so that they can continue to exist in this false reality that they have created for themselves where they're fine and everything they do is right. But how did they end up this way? Why did they become insane? Why did they detach from reality and create a world of their own? Of course the reason why is because they lack belief in themselves. They lack belief in truth and reality because the truth is against them. It makes them look bad so they gave up on themselves. They gave up believing that things could be better. They lost confidence in their own abilities and judgement, in their own inherent value, worth and how they are deserving of love, happiness and success and instead they created a false character which is meant to mask the person that they are underneath. The person who hates everyone and everything that is a reminder of who they actually are. They're insane because they deny who they actually are. They deny the truth, they deny reality and they deny anyone who is grounded in reality because to them that is an offense. It brings annoyance and resentment to them because they perceive it as an insult or as a disregard for them when a lot of times it has nothing to do with them at all. You're just living in your own truth and instead of minding their own business they have to assume that it has something to do with them because in their minds they are the center of everything so everything has to be interpreted as though it has something to do with them even when it does not. They have to take it upon themselves to respond to it because it made them feel some type of way. It affected them so they constantly responded to these things that affected them without even considering that they have no significance or relevance to you which makes them delusional. It means that yes they hold false beliefs and judgments about external reality even despite incontrovertible evidence of the contrary because they have a mental condition. They have an inability to distinguish between what is real and what only seems to be real so they don't know where to draw the line. They don't know what is okay or what is not okay. In their minds everything is up for grabs, everything is for the taking, there's no boundaries, there's no set limits or dividing lines, there's no separation between you and them. They see you as an extension of themselves so they believe that they can do whatever they like and they expect you to be okay with it regardless of the consequences of the effects that it has on you as Albert Einstein once said. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results but that is exactly what narcissists do. They repeat the same things again and again. They're stuck in this endless loop. They repeat the same cycle of abuse. The only thing that changes is the people they subject these things to and yet they expect it to yield a different result. They assume that somehow it's going to be different this time. They're going to get the result that they're looking for when they should know from the past that the exact same thing is going to happen again. They love bomb, devalue you and then they discard which may harm you initially but in time it only makes you stronger and more knowledgeable, it makes you a better person than you were before and yet they still come back with the Hoover thinking that it's going to be different this time, thinking that this time they're going to get you, they're going to destroy you because they don't self reflect and analyze their past failures and mistakes, they don't see where they went wrong, they don't learn anything new, they just keep doing what they've always done because they don't know what else to do when if something isn't working and it isn't getting you the result that you're looking for you should probably do the opposite, if they continued with the love bombing they would probably get the result that they're looking for because it would distract you, it would take you off your path, it would take up all of your time but they don't do that because they can't, it isn't even an option for them because they know that at some point you would begin to figure them out, they know that you would see through it and they don't want to put themselves in a position where they're likely to be rejected and humiliated, they'd rather be on the other end of it, they'd rather be the ones who get to do that to you because all they're really looking for is they don't value relationships and connection, that doesn't do anything for them, all they care about is how they feel about themselves so if they can continue to live in this delusion they will happily devalue and discourage you in order to save themselves from rejection and exposure, they devalue you because they have no other option, they have a black and white mentality so it's either you or them and no narcissist is going to choose their target or victim over their false self, that is never going to happen so if you're too much for them to handle they will be left to discourage you, they don't really want to do that especially if you're a good source of supply for them but that is their last resort, that is their final option if all else fails which is why the best thing you can do is just to go along with it, act like you're on the same page, be friendly and agreeable identify and entertain their delusions of grandiosity, give them space to act with their false sense of arrogance and entanglement but also make sure you have boundaries in place because if you give a narcissist an inch they will take a mile, if you do a small favor for them they will become greedy and ask you to do bigger and bigger favors for them until you regret doing the first favor so you need to be tough, you need to draw a line of what you're willing or not willing to accept but also understand that they will test the waters to see what they're willing to get away with, they will judge your feelings and opinions before taking for the action which is something all narcissists do, it's like the boiling frog syndrome, they create these problematic situations that gradually increase disparity until you don't realize what you've gotten yourself into and it becomes too much to bear but by that point you're so dazed and confused, it can be hard to find your way out of it which is exactly what they want because then they can keep you stuck as their source of supply, they want to keep you in a state where you're still able to supply them with what they need while not knowing who you are or the work that you did to get there, while not knowing how special and important you actually are because they see it, they just don't want you to know it so essentially they want to make you crazy just like them, they want you to lose touch with reality even while you're still providing something of exorbitant value to them which is why they typically target people who are disciplined and have self-control but who have a lot of things going on in their lives because they don't have that, they're like unruly children, they behave in an uncontrolled and disorganized way, they have an inability to control their emotions and desires especially in difficult situations which is why they're always trying to pass that off to you so that they can watch you going through it because it regulates their emotions, it gives them supply, it makes them feel like in that moment maybe they are sane, maybe they are normal rational people because they can see you going through it and at that moment it looks like you have it worse than they do, they zone in on brief periods of time and then they blow it all out of proportion as though it's of the utmost significance and importance and anything that happened before that is irrelevant because that makes them feel sane, that is how they get supply, they already know that if you were to examine the bigger picture they would look crazy and irrational so they try to keep you stuck and zoned in on whatever they want you to see, whatever they want you to think about because if you're seeing it and thinking about it in their minds that makes it real, it makes it more believable for them and that's all they really want, they just want someone to validate their crazy making and they do that by setting you up to lose and making you question yourself by throwing you off balance mentally and emotionally and making you easier to control which is irrational, immature and illogical as well as abusive and manipulative and it's only intended to confuse, irritate, exhaust and provoke you into some emotional reaction or to make you lose your sanity or to provoke you into becoming reactive and if you look at it you can always see this in a person's eyes, their eyes are wide open, they appear receptive as though they can quickly and easily absorb stimuli and information and they're also highly reactive, they're quick to respond to whatever is coming at them because that's what they've been trained to do, if they were raised in dysfunctional environments they were trained to be the caretaker of the martyr, the person who was assigned to take care of everything, the person who is prepared to die for their beliefs but the narcissist will stand back and act like nothing is wrong as though you're losing your mind, they will play dumb about their behavior, they will act like they don't understand the problem when they actually know exactly what they're doing, they know that they're baiting you into an argument, they know they're provoking, harassing and triangulating you, they know they're stirring up drama, they're minimizing and invalidating you, of course they know that, they've been doing it for a very long time, it's how they get their needs met, it's how they get supplied by leaving people in a state of confusion to where they don't understand what is happening to them or what is the purpose of this behavior, when it is what it is, it's exactly how you see it, you assume that they know what they're doing and as though it's premeditated and controlled, so there isn't a problem but in fact every person who has a cluster B mental illness or personality disorder knows exactly what they're doing and that is the distinguishing feature that separates them from the others disorders, they are fully aware of what they do, they deliberately avoid taking responsibility for their actions to keep power and control over you and by not giving you the truth or a resolution because yes as I said a lot of them already know exactly what they're doing, they already understand that something is wrong with them, they just don't want to do the work to fix it, they lack the power to perform and a lot of them actually enjoy it, they find pleasure in the dopamine chemical that it releases in their brains, it makes them feel good about themselves even if it's only for a moment, it tells them that maybe they are normal, maybe they are saying and that is what they're seeking, it's escapism, it's a distraction from that unpleasant reality by engaging in fantasy and a lot of times it has to be at your expense because you are unknowingly invalidating their reality, you're making them feel bad about themselves which is why they're always on your case, they're always coming after you because they don't want to feel bad for the things they've done to you, they want to feel justified, they want to feel like they have the right to do what they do so they have to continuously control you to prevent you from shining the light on them and who they are because yes they are insane, they're detached from reality, they created a false character who is all-powerful and all-knowing who has the ability to dominate you and make you feel small, when in reality they're like the man behind the curtain in the Wizard of Oz, they're just manipulating things behind the scenes and their power comes from your belief, thank you for watching, if you found this video helpful please give it a thumbs up, share your thoughts in the comment section, hit the subscribe button to receive the notifications, if you would like to support the channel you can donate at payborder.me slash narksurvivor, you can book a one-on-one with me on my website, it's narksurvivor.co.uk, thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon