 Welcome to another Narc Survival Live video, the second one for today. Earlier we talked about why chosen ones are gangstalked. I did this one, it's more about narcissists and what frightens them when they discard you. And of course this is a very interesting topic because when you look at narcissists they seem so arrogant, so full of themselves. It's like what they know is right and they're always right, they're never wrong. They're always making the right decision, they're always doing the right thing, they're always doing what is in their best interest, what is right for them, or at least that's how they see it. So you look at them when they discard you, when they're moving on into another situation and you're thinking oh it must be something good for them. Because of this mindset, this mentality they have, or at least that's what they show to you. Because underneath that they're actually very insecure, they doubt themselves a lot. They have a false self, it's dependent on external validation, it's not regulated from within. So this false self requires excessive external validation and yet they portray outwardly this arrogance and sense of superiority as though they're moving on without you and into a more favorable situation for them as though they're going to be so much happier without you. When that couldn't be further from the truth that's just what they want you to think. They want it to look like they're going to be so much better off without you as though they never needed you when actually I can tell you. And you may have watched one of my recent live videos that I did with a diagnosed self-aware COVID narcissist and I interviewed him and I asked him this question. I said has there ever been a situation where you were moving on with the new source and you were regretting, kind of already regretting what you were about to do if that makes any sense. As though you already knew that you were going into a worse situation than the one you just left and the opportunity that you already had and he said yes. He said yes he has had situations like that where he knew fully well that the situation he was going into was going to be worse for him but because of that pride that arrogance of that need to feel like he was winning as though he was getting over the previous supply. It's like he had no choice in his mind to just go forward with it. Even in one case he said he was with one supply who was taking care of him and then he went off with someone else who had no money and this is what happens to them a lot. They do this a lot. It's a very common thing with narcissists and I know it can be quite difficult to believe because you think they're narcissists. Don't they do everything in their best interest? Don't they only go where they think it's going to serve them? It's going to be better for them? Isn't that the only thing they ever do and guess what believe it or not? The answer to that is no. You may fully well have been the best opportunity for them and they may have been fully aware of that and despite that they still have discarded you and moved on to someone else who they know fully well is nowhere near as good as what you were to them. Yes they may be fully aware of that and yet they will still go forward with it and get into the situation even get married and have children with someone they know is not even that good for them and they know that they had a much better situation with you. Yeah they will still go forward with that because of their pride and arrogance and this resentment that they may have towards you. They may envy you. They may feel very bitter towards you and they don't want to let that go. They're holding a grudge so they would rather just go off into a worse situation than to do anything with you even though yes it will likely greatly affect them. It may cause a lot of problems for them because they had a much better chance a better opportunity with you and you may have been doing everything for them. You were there for them no matter what. You always listened to them their problems maybe you gave them a place to stay. You gave them money. You took care of them. You washed their clothes cooked their dinner drove them around and their new source may not be able to do any of that. Their new source may be struggling financially. They may be narcissistic as well. Maybe the last thing they want to do is listen to the narcissist problems. They probably don't want to cook dinner for them wash their clothes or anything like what you were doing and yet they're still going off with them and in the back of their mind it is terrifying them especially since they may also be overestimating their new source. They may not have fully groomed them. They may not have fully prepared or trained them for the purpose of being their next source of supply because remember that takes time they need to learn them. They need to be primed for the abuse the manipulation. So all of this takes time and they may not have had the time to do that because things may have ended badly with you very quickly and they may not have expected it. Maybe you were confronting them. Maybe you threatened to expose them or maybe they were just hyper vigilant and they assumed that that was what you were going to do. Whatever it is they may have had to have moved quickly to line up their next source and they may not have been ready. So they took a big chance. They took a big risk and they may not be very sure about it but they haven't really got much choice. They've got to do it. They've got to go with it. It's either that or they stay with you and it's like no they don't want to stay with you because they feel like you're catching on to them as though if they stay with you things could be unfairable for them. They're looking at it like they don't know what you might do. You might keep confronting them. Maybe you'll leave them. Maybe you'll get fed up with them. Maybe you'll try to expose them. They don't want to stick a brown long enough for that. They don't feel safe when they feel like you have the power to threaten their false image and not only that but it's like they already feel like you disapprove of them. Like you've already rejected them. They can't be in that type of environment for too long. With all of their pride and arrogance they think they're superior and yet you're coming to them and just disapproving of the things that they're doing. They don't like that. They don't want to answer to anyone. They always want to feel like they're right. Like they're always in control. They don't want to be told anything about themselves. They don't want to be told what to do. So in actuality when they're discarding you and they're moving on to a new source they're just looking for freedom from responsibility because you're making them responsible and they don't like it. They just want to be this unruly child that is able to run free and not be held accountable for anything. Even if they did do all of these things to you and they ruined your life they don't care. They just don't want to hear it. That doesn't mean that they're going to move on and things are going to be different with their new source. Of course not. It's going to be the exact same thing again. It just takes time. You're not going to see it in the beginning in most cases but give it time and you will see it. It will fall apart in the exact same way as it did with you. And then again they're going to run off. They're going to run away from any responsibility but really what they're doing is they're running away from themselves. They're running away from this reflection of themselves that they do not like. But again when they do that it terrifies them because they don't know what they're running off to a lot of times. A lot of times they haven't really had the time to figure out who this next person actually is. Sometimes it happens very quickly. They just realize that things are going south with you and then they've got to hurry up and try to replace you and then advance this new source to the primary position and yeah things just don't always work out the way that they expect it to. Which is not how you might assume with these narcissists because I mean just look at them they're always so arrogant. They always think they know everything. They've got everything figured out. At least that's how it looks on the surface because underneath all of that as I said they are actually very insecure. A lot of times they don't really know what they're doing. They're very impulsive and reckless. They do a lot of things on the spot without even thinking about it. A lot of times things do go very bad for them. It really does but you don't always see it. I mean a lot of you it's like you're trying to peer into the new situation and you're thinking what about karma? Why isn't it getting to them? How can they just do all of this stuff and then move on without any consequences? That's the thing. You really think they're gonna let you see that? Even if it is already happening? They don't want you to know. They are masters of perception management. Masters of manipulation. Orchestration. The illusionists. Some of them may even be professional magicians. So they can make it look like something it is not. They could orchestrate a situation and make it look like they're having the time of their lives without you. When in actuality they're miserable. Things are going really bad. They were a lot better off without you with you rather. But they can make it look like the opposite is true and they're very good at doing that. I mean just remember your relationship with them. Remember all of the pictures of you and them on social media? All of your family and friends they all thought everything's going good. You've got this great relationship. You're really happy together. Remember that? But what was it really like behind the scenes? It was a miserable experience wasn't it? While all of these pictures were going up on social media making it look like you have this amazing relationship. This wonderful family. This is what they do. And sometimes even when we're in it. We're the ones taking the pictures and putting them on social media. Meanwhile we're being abused because at the time it's like we don't even realize just how bad it is. And then we look back at the end and it's like I can't believe I put up with all of that. At the same time it's like I thought it was okay. I'm posting these pictures on social media thinking I'm having a good time. But I'm being abused. I'm being mistreated or being disrespected. I have my boundaries crossed. I'm being exploited. And that's the thing even when it looks like they've moved on with this new person. It's just the same thing happening again. Yeah they can put the pictures up. And you might see them out in public. It looks like everything's fine. They've got this new relationship. They're happy. You don't see what's going on at home because that's what counts. Just remember how it was when you were with them. That's where all the problems were. Things could have been relatively okay when you went out somewhere. You go back home. Then all hell breaks loose. And of course you know once they've been through these situations so many times with so many different people. Of course they are already anticipating it the next time. I mean they're not completely stupid. They're not completely detached from reality because they've done these things before. They've seen the effects of what happens when they do these type of things. So they're already anticipating the effects of what they do. They're already fearing that. So they already assume that whatever they get into next it's going to be something temporary because at some point people are going to catch on. They're going to figure them out. Or they might just get bored. They might get tired of them. They might just want to get rid of them. They might want to go all out and try to expose them. Or then our success will get bored. Or they will just completely destroy the source until the source can no longer provide for them. Either way something's going to go wrong and they know it. I mean they've seen it enough times in the past to know that as long as they're a part of anything it's not going to go anywhere. It's not going to succeed. It's not going to amount to anything great. They've seen that enough times in their past. They've never had a successful relationship. So they already presume it's going to happen again. And you're looking at it like they found someone else. Maybe they got married. They had children. Looks like they've got this wonderful family in the back of their minds. They're still seeing it as something temporary. And if you closely examine it you will see it's typically the new source who is doing everything, providing everything. The narcissist never really invests anything into the relationship. They never give anything. It's always the source who is doing everything. That's how you know. From the very beginning whatever they get into they see it as something temporary. That's why they don't put in any work. That's why they don't invest anything into it because they know they're dysfunctional. They know it's not going to last with them in it. They know they're predestined. They know they're doomed. They know they're never going to experience true love. Fulfillment in a relationship. They know it's never going to be like that for them. I mean think about it. Think about it with yourself. And your past relationships. I mean if you know your capabilities, the value of what you can bring to a relationship of being able to make something happen. It's like you get into a relationship and you're ready to give it your all. You're ready to give it everything you've got because you know how great you are. How capable you are. You know that you can turn rocks into gold. You know that about yourself. So you get into something new and you give it everything. You invest all you have. They don't do that because they know even if they invest everything they have it's not going to go anywhere. Not with them in it. That's why they hold back. That's why they don't give it everything. That's why they don't give it everything they've got because they look at it like what's the point? Why bother? Why give it all of my time, energy, effort, money and resources. Why do that? It's just going to fall apart just like everything else in my life. So why even care? Why even bother? What's the point in anything in this life? If everything's just going to fall apart? Why even try? And that's why it seems like pretty much from the very beginning they've already given up. And they just rely on their manipulation, lies and future faking. And then in time it soon turns into devaluation and gas lighting. Just trying to mess with your mind. Trying to keep you down while they're still leeching off you, having a free ride until it finally gets too much and you really catch on. And then they're just ready to get rid of you altogether and move on to the next source and do the exact same thing all over again because they do understand certain things about themselves. They've understood this for a very long time. They've learned this from their childhood with their parents. When they were a child they gave their parents all of their love. All of their attention. Yes, at one point that's what the narcissist did. They gave all of their love and attention to their parents and their childhoods with the expectation that it was going to be reciprocated and that they were going to be loved. And of course that's typical of a child when their children were innocent. They have an experienced rejection. We just presume that if we give, we show our love to our parents that it's going to be reciprocated and that they will accept us. Yes, we just assume that. And it was no different with the narcissist and their childhood. But it wasn't reciprocated. That's the problem. They gave everything they had. All of their love, loyalty and devotion, their parents didn't care. They neglected them. And from that point on the narcissist learns what's the point. Why give it everything you have and it's not going to be appreciated. It's not going to amount to anything. So why even bother? And that's why from that point on, they abandoned who they really were, their true selves. Sorry about all of the laughter outside. I know it may be quite distracting. But yes, at that point, they abandoned who they actually are. Because think about it, they gave their love, their loyalty, their devotion. Everything they had, all of their emotions, they gave that to their parents and their childhood. And they were rejected. They were neglected. It wasn't appreciated. It wasn't reciprocated. So as a child, they felt like they weren't good enough. Like who they are, their natural self, their love. That wasn't enough. So they thought, okay, if this is not enough, what's the use in it? Just get rid of it. Abandon it. Create a false self. And so that's exactly what they did. They created a false self. And the false self doesn't have any power or energy of its own. It has no inner sense of value. It's wholly negative. It can only take value away. It can't give any value to you. It can give you the illusion of value. It can manipulate, deceive, make you believe that there's something there. But then in time, you look back and it's like, you're the one who got the short end of the stick. You lost everything. So yeah, it can give you the illusion. But that's about it. So that's it. When you see these narcissists, it looks like they're moving on and they're happier. They're doing better without you. It's really not like that at all. It's nothing like that. They always see it as something temporary from the very beginning. They learned a long time ago that they're not good enough. They're not lovable. And of course, at this point, that's true. How can they be good enough? How can they be lovable? They're not even real. There's no even there. It's a void. It's a false character. And a lot of times I think that's all that there is. There is nothing else other than the false character. In some cases, there may be the underdeveloped child self. But even then, you're probably never going to see that. They're not going to be vulnerable enough to let you see this underdeveloped child. I mean, just imagine a grown adult having to revert back to this emotionally underdeveloped child and start all over again. You really think they're going to have the emotional strength to do that. So they just bury it even if they do have that. They just suppress it. A lot of times I think it is really just the false self and that's all that there is. There is nothing else. It's just a void. And that's how they just cannot succeed in anything, in any relationship over a long period of time. Whoever they get with, it's always that other person who is doing all of the work. The other person has to do everything. Now, they just behave like an unruly child, so it is fun and games for them. It's the source who has to take everything seriously. They have to be the parent. They have to do everything. They're the ones who are keeping everything together. Well, then our sister is just acting a fool, just doing what they want to do until eventually we stop believing in the lies and the future faking. And it's like, where is this person, this character who you're meant to be. You were meant to show up as this mature, responsible adult. I've been waiting. You never did. What I've gotten this entire time is this unruly child that I'm having to take care of. And then at that point they see it. They realise that you disapprove of them and they're already on their way out. They've already got someone else lined up. Someone else who believes in the illusion just as you did until eventually they realise that, no, this is just an unruly child in an adult body. They're very immature and irresponsible. They can't take care of themselves. So, of course, they can't take care of you or anyone else. They can't even look after themselves. I mean just look at it every time that you're having to deal with them. They parentify you. You're the one who has to be responsible. You're the one who has to be the better person in every situation. And that's just always how it has to be when you're dealing with a narcissist. From the very beginning they see it as temporary. They're never looking at it like they're in a serious relationship or they can actually build something with a person. Deep down they know themselves. They feel undeserving, unlovable. They're not good enough for anyone, anything. Not good enough for a relationship. They know it. Deep down. And from the very beginning they're just kind of just waiting, anticipating that moment when it clicks in your mind and you get it. You understand where you have this epiphany. Yes, they're waiting for that moment. When you finally realise that they're no good for you. They're not fit for a relationship. They're just waiting for you to figure that out. And yet many of you wonder why they never took things seriously with you. I mean that's why. Because they already know they're no good. They're not good enough. They know that. They already know that they're unlovable. They're just waiting for you to figure that out. That's why they don't invest anything into you or in any relationship. That's why it's the same thing when they go off with a new source. If you really closely examine it, you'll see they're not investing anything into it. They're not really giving it their time, their persistent effort, their money, their resources. They're not really serious about it. It's just fun. The new source is providing for everything because the narcissist already knows. If they're a part of something, it's not going to end well. They know that. They know that much about themselves. If there's one thing they know it's that. So of course, they are terrified when they discard you. They may not show it, but deep down, they do fear that they're moving on into a worse situation as though things were better with you. Even though they may never show it. They will hide it. They will suppress it. But somewhere in there, they may be feeling regret. It's just they have so much pride and arrogance. They have a need to feel superior to you. Because by the end of it, they start to develop some bitterness, resentment, they hold a grudge. It's kind of like a teenager who depends on their parents to take care of them. They may become quite resentful because they kind of resent their own dependence in a way. They want to be independent, but they can't. So it's kind of like that. And then they start to resent you. They start to resent needing you. Because of course, they are heavily dependent on us. And they don't really like that. They wish, in a way, like all of these things that we provide to them. The emotional regulation. We provide a source of stability, security. We make them feel safe, comfortable. All of these things. Yeah, deep down, they wish they could provide that for themselves. They wish they could be self-sustaining just as we are. But they can't. And so the longer they spend with us, it just builds up that resentment until they begin to hate us. And then they hate us so much, they're wanting to just go off into another situation. That may be far worse, but it's like they don't care because all of this resentment they have towards you. They just want to go off and prove a point to you. Show you that they don't need you. When in fact, they always needed you. It's just that you never needed them. And they were just anticipating that moment when you would finally realize that. Because that's the truth, you don't need them. You never did. Once you get away from them, that's when things will start to get better for you. I'm just trying to turn the live chat back on. I had to turn it off because as soon as I went live, the troll comments started to roll in as they do. Of course, it's very distracting. I feel like I can't give you an authentic message with all of these conflicting messages coming in and, you know, disrupting it. That's the thing with these trolls. They're very selfish. They don't think about anyone else. They don't think about the thousands of people around the world who are benefiting from this message. All they care about is themselves. Their own supply. So I had to cut off the live chat there just so I could give you the best of myself for this video. Now I'm looking through the live chat. Funny enough, since I turned off the live chat, I haven't seen any troll messages. I'm scrolling through now. I can't even see one. Normally every video it's just, as you know, it's full. Full of troll messages. Now look throughout now. There's not even one. There's no one in there saying anything weird. There's no one comparing me to Eminem or saying that I'm bald as they usually do in every single live video. For the first time I turned off the live chat and now there's really nothing weird. Which is good to see. Thank you for the donation, Kirstie Teco. Someone else sent a donation, but for some reason I can't see it. But yeah, it's really sad to see in every live video there's always these abusive and harassing messages. I mean it's really bad. And it's persistent from the same accounts as well. People are often seeing, people are so deep into it I don't think they even realise they're engaging in criminal activity. It's a very serious crime because as I've spoken about before there's many people on YouTube and other platforms as well who have really been pushed over the edge and ended up taking their own lives because of hateful messages. And even in one case some viewers actually guided a creator to taking their own life. They actually told them to do it. Sadly I think it was a young person they felt very insecure and they actually did it live on video. Couldn't actually watch that video though it sounds a bit too triggering for me because as you know this is something that's very close to my heart. I'm someone who supports victims I'm completely against bullying, harassment I mean let's just keep it real people who do that it's only because they hate themselves. Stop being such a coward and just look at yourself in the mirror except that you do not like yourself. That's what the problem is. As I've said before as within so without how we treat other people that is a direct reflection of how we feel about ourselves. Bullies are very insecure and in fact believe it or not but as I spoke about in a recent video bullies are at a 10 to 25 times risk of developing a psychiatric condition more than their own victims which they are bullying. So they're really not doing themselves any favors by doing that. It also puts them at a much higher risk of developing addictions such as tobacco becoming alcoholics using recreational drugs engaging in criminal activities having a criminal record before the age of 30 they're at a much higher risk of all of these things and that's really what bothers me the most I mean at this point when I see negative hateful comments it doesn't really affect me it kind of distracts me in a way because it's like I just feel like it's distracting the viewers and it's disrupting the message but not only that it's like whether they know it or not these people are engaging in self harm and actually pity them I don't want to see people harming themselves especially on one of my videos but that's exactly what they're doing when they hate whether they're hating me or someone else they are actually engaging in a form of self harm because what you do to another person you do to yourself and even though it may not affect me it's still going to affect them because they're the ones who are putting it out I can choose to reject their gift and then it just gets returned to sender then they get the full blast of it themselves because that's the thing they're hoping that we will receive it so then they can just unload it onto us if you remain unfazed and you do not accept it it stays with them but either way, even if it does affect you it still affects them as well it's science, it's been proven it's a psychological fact so I hope that shared some light for people on that but yeah, I had to turn the live chat off for this one because it was very distracting on top of that, all of the laughter outside as well but you know how it is and I do give my best effort in every video as much as I can to support the victims because that's what I'm about I know there's a lot of people out there who are going through things and I want to be that voice I want to be that support for you alright, that's it for this message it's helpful hit that thumbs up button down below show your support very important as it helps the YouTube algorithm to get this message out there so that other survivors will see it 241 live viewers only 57 thumbs ups please hit that thumbs up button down below it will take you 2 seconds and let me know your thoughts in the comment section I read your comments every day your thoughts are very important to me I always appreciate the support and hit that subscribe button and click all notifications so that you will be notified when I upload a video in the future if you'd like to bug a one-on-one coaching session with me just go to my website it is NarcSurvivor.co.uk and follow me on Instagram it's NarcSurvivor YouTube I have new pictures and videos of my travels which I upload every day on there alright, thank you all for joining me on another NarcSurvivor live video we do have a premiere beginning in about two and a half hours so I hope you can join us there other than that, thank you all I hope you enjoyed it and you all have a great day