 The Craft Foods Company presents Willard Waterman as the Great Gildus Leaves. The Great Gildus Leaves is brought to you partially transcribed by the Craft Foods Company. Have you ever tried your hand at homemade salad dressings? Now that there's a craft salad oil, it's especially easy to make perfect French dressings. And it's worth the minute or two it takes because dressings made with superfine craft salad oil can add wonderful new flavors to your salads. A little later I'll tell you about some unusual French dressing recipes you can get with craft salad oil. Another famous product from the Craft Foods Company. The Great Gildus Leaves and his nephew Leroy are about to leave on an overnight fishing trip. They have reservations for two at Moosehead Lodge and have been loading necessary and unnecessary equipment into the car since early morning. There we are, Leroy. You didn't think I could pack all that stuff in the back of the car, did you? It fooled me, Aunt. When we start off, do you think the front wheels will stay on the ground? Well, when I get up front, it'll sort of balance things. Hey, you didn't pack your fishing hacks. I'm going to wear that. Is my fishing license on it? Yeah, your license and about a million hooks and feathers sticking out of the van. Aunt, do you know what to do with all these? Well, Leroy, every fisherman worth his salt has his hat full of hooks. Ah, they're just for show. I bet you never caught anything with them. Well, Leroy, you may not believe this, but one day my hat blew in the lake and when I pulled it out, I had six trout on it. Oh, brother. Lucky I'm a tall man, her fish would be knocking my hat off my head all the time. Okay, Aunt, I ask for it. Well, you're getting it. Yes, Margie. Has the mailman been by? Yes, but he didn't leave anything. Matt Bronco, I haven't heard from him for two whole days. You'll live. This has never happened before. No, Margie, you have a very thoughtful, devoted husband. Yeah, what are you kicking about? He sends you money every week. That's not the idea. I'll never let him go off on one of those silly business trips again. Well, you'll probably get two letters tomorrow, my dear. Here on Leroy, let's walk down the pivots. I want to get some cigars for the trip. Why don't we go on the car so everybody will know we're going fishing? My boy, a city official doesn't advertise it when he's going fishing. See you later, my dear. So am I. Goodbye. Miss Margie. Yes, pretty. They're going fishing without the car? No, they're just going down to Mr. Phoebe. Oh, but I didn't want them to get all the way to the lake and then realize they forgot the car. Miss Margie, you sure are quiet this morning. Something wrong? Well, that big lug of a husband. Miss Bronco? He's the only big lug of a husband I have. Yes, ma'am. I didn't get a letter this morning. No, ma'am. Well, I just won't write to him anymore until he writes to me. No, ma'am. I'll get it. When he comes home, if he ever does, I doubt if I'll even speak to him again. Yes, ma'am. I miss Gelfrey's residence. That traveling salesman? Oh, yes, she's here. Oh, pretty. Give me the phone. If you don't want to talk to him, I'll be glad to relay the message. Oh, please, Birdie, give me the phone. Yes, ma'am. If you don't want to talk to him... Coming home, why haven't you written? Oh, I think I've been missed. Oh, you'll never know this last month? It seemed like a year. Well, I'll be home for lunch, Margie. Really? I'm calling from Center City. How are the twins? Oh, they're wonderful. You'll hardly know them. They've grown so much. I hope they remember you. Oh, they'll remember me. I've hardly grown at all. Oh, they're fine. They're leaving this morning on a fishing trip. They are to see them, but won't it be great to come home and find them gone? My idea of a reunion is just you and me and the twins. I know. Well, I'm in a hurry to get there, so goodbye, Marge. Goodbye, Bronco. Oh, Birdie's on his way home. You'll be here by noon. That's nice. Won't it be wonderful to have him home again? Yes, ma'am. And just think, with Uncle Morton and Lee Roy away, we'll just have our own little family here. Bronco, me and the twins. Won't that be nice? Birdie, how does my hair look? I knew I should have had a permanent yesterday. Does it look dreadful? Oh, no, ma'am. It looks fine. You think you'll like this poodle cut? Miss Marge, he's going to be so glad to see you. He won't know that's a poodle or a pecanine. Now, let's see. What dress shall I wear? Well, Mr. Bronco always liked that white one with the puffy sleeves. No. I know, Birdie. The dress I wore the day Bronco and I had our first date. The yellow one with the pleated skirt. Can you still get into that? I'll get into it if it kills me. And, now, let's see. Let's get some flowers, some of the pink roses. Pink roses? And candles on the table at dinner. Candles for the table? And we've got to find Bronco's slippers. The twins were playing with them yesterday. Slippers? Check the twins. Oh, and we'll have music during dinner. The records that Bronco likes. I don't know if we're going to find them records. The twins was rolling down the stairs yesterday. Oh, this is going to be the most wonderful evening of our lives, Birdie. Bronco and me. Oh, how perfect can it be? Well, it could be more perfect. Birdie's got a half-day off coming. Why don't I take it today? Would you like to do that, Birdie? Well, if you've got a half-day coming and don't take it, you still got it. But, if you've got a half-day coming and never take it, you never get it. What are you going to do, Birdie? I've got it coming, so I'm going. Take up the cigars here at Peabies and be on our way before noon. Yeah, the fishing better start running for the hill. Hello, Peabie. Hello, Mr. Gildersleeve. Lear on. Hi. What can I do for you young fellas this morning? We're going fishing, Peabie. Yeah, where's the Moose Head Lodge? I understand they're biting, Peabie. Moose or the fish? You're all right, Peabie. They give me a handful of cigars. Yeah, well, your usual brand? Well, you know how it is on a fishing trip. You're always dropping them in the water. Give me some cheap cigars. Mr. Gildersleeve, there aren't any cigars cheaper than the ones you usually smell. Peabie, the L Lobos are cheaper and you know it. Well, they might be all right to dropping the water. I always expected they had a little rubber in them. Oh, my goodness. Hey, we better get some mosquito lotion. Leroy, when your uncle fogs up the lake with one of these L Lobos, you won't need mosquito lotion. Speculous cigars. Those candy bars sure look great. Oh, oh, excuse me, Leroy. Peabie, give Leroy a hand full of candy bars. Oh, boy, we're living today. All right, while I answer the phone, you pick out what you want, Leroy. Sure. Peabie's remedy. That's enough, Leroy. Birdie-packed food, you know. Well, I know, Marjorie. Hey, it's large. Leroy, it's implied to talk while somebody is phone. You say Bronco is coming home? Oh, yeah, it's nice. Have you watched this, Peabie? What's she saying? What's this about Bronco? He's coming home. Yeah. He is? What? Vanilla, you say? Very well. A half gallon of vanilla. Goodbye, Marjorie. Peabie, what did she say? She said he likes vanilla. But when's he coming home? This noon. This noon? Come on, Leroy, let's hurry home. Uh-oh, wait, Mr. Governor, Steve. You can take the ice cream with you. He will make it snappy, Peabie. Yeah, well, I don't understand why a man wants vanilla when he can have pistachio nut. Just dish up the vanilla, Peabie. Then black walnut and burnt almond. They were very tasty. We're in a hurry, Peabie. Personally, I prefer the fainty kind. Peabie, this is for Bronco, not for you. Please, dish up the vanilla. Take tutti fruity nut, now there's a dilly of an ice cream. Yes, yes. I can't understand why a person would prefer vanilla after tasting tutti fruity. Oh, brother. Come on, Leroy, let's buy our ice cream somewhere else. Peabie won't sell us vanilla. No, I wouldn't say that. Well, Miss Marjorie, I got the twins all bathed down for their duty sleep so they can greet their father. Oh, thank you, Bertie. The ice box was full, so you can got no cooking to do. I don't know how we'd get along without you, Bertie. Well, this is one day you don't need, Bertie. Soon as Mr. Gales and even Leroy get started on the trip, I'm on my way. All right. I just can't get over how wonderfully everything is working out. Yes, I think everything's all set for you and Mr. Bronco. I'm wearing his favorite perfume. I have his slippers by the chair. You'd better be careful, Miss Marjorie. You're going to make this evening so perfect, Mr. Bronco is lively. Go away again so he can come back. Oh, once he comes in that door, I'll never let him out again. Oh, I don't blame you. I can just picture the two of us eating dinner by candlelight. I won't even talk, Bertie. I'm just going to sit and look at him. Marjorie, where are you? Oh, in here, Auntie. Oh, I hear Bronco's coming home. Yes, here he is. Oh, I'm expecting many times now. Isn't it marvelous, Unkie? Yes, indeed. We'll all be glad to see Bronco. Here's the ice cream, Laura, Jordan and Bertie. Thank you. What kind did you get? It took a little doing, but we got vanilla. Well, I better put them in the freezer. Mr. Bronco don't like soft ice cream. We have everything planned, Unkie. Bertie is taking the day off, and Bronco and I will have a cozy little dinner for two. Marjorie, that's no way to welcome Bronco home. Calls for a big celebration, and we're going to celebrate. We? Certainly. And Bertie can't take the day off. She'll want to stay here and fix a big dinner. But, Unkie... Bertie? Yes, ma'am? Put the extra leaf back in the table. Bronco comes home. Miss Marjorie don't want nothing extra around here. I should say not. Oh, I don't mean we have to have a lot of people over. We'll just have me, Leroy, the twins, and, of course, you, Marjorie. Well, thank you. We want to give Bronco an intimate but royal welcome. Uncle Mort, where do you get this wee stuff? Do I? I thought you and Leroy were going fishing. Fishing? We've got the car all packed. You have reservations at Moose Head Lodge. No, Marjorie, we can go fishing anytime. You don't seem to realize this is a big occasion. Give me strength. Uncle Mort, Bronco and I planned his home coming over the phone. My dear, at a time like this, you shouldn't be burdened with plans. I want to make this an event you and your husband will never forget. Then go fishing. Marjorie, Leroy and I wouldn't think of deserting you two in a time like this. Would we, Bertie? What kind of a knuckle does she think I am? Great Gilda Sleeve will be back in just a moment. Now's the time of year when salads taste mighty good, and Kraft has not won but six wonderful salad surprises for you. Attached to every bottle of Kraft salad oil is a recipe folder for six excitingly different French dressing. Even if you've never made a salad dressing before, these are recipes that'll take only a minute or two to mix. Yet they can bring delicious variety to salads. For example, there's a rope for French dressing that gives head lettuce a e-man flavor. Then there's a glistening lemon French dressing that was created for fruit salads. And there's Kraft's special French dressing recipe for tossed salads. These recipes will give you an idea how easy it is to suit the dressing to the salad. They'll suggest many other ways to vary your dressing flavors. Just make sure you use Kraft salad oil. It's a special salad oil made by Kraft's exclusive superfining process. Superfining makes it blend better with all other dressing ingredients. Once you discover how simple it is to mix up perfect homemade dressings with Kraft salad oil, you won't be saving your salad magic for special occasions. You'll use it to perk up family appetites every day. Tomorrow, get superfined Kraft salad oil, the most wonderful oil ever created for homemade salad dressings and baking. Well, Marjorie has been happily anticipating the arrival of her husband Bronco, who has been away on a month's business trip. But that was before her uncle took charge of the homecoming. Nobody seems to doubt the good intentions of the great Gildersleeve today, but he's showing an uncanny ability to, if you'll pardon the expression, foul up the words. Really, Uncle Mort, I see no reason why you shouldn't carry out your original plans and go fishing. No, Marjorie, don't worry about me. Let's think about Bronco. I am thinking about him, and I told him you were going fishing. But think how pleased he'll be when he finds out Leroy and I are staying home. Birdie, you have a nice big lunch prepared, food for everybody. Well, I've been holding off to see you change your mind. You've got everything packed in the car, you know. And reservations at the lodge. Yes, if I see you, I'd go fishing. Of course I ain't you, but if I was, that's what I'd do. I'd go fishing. Hey! Hey, here! Come on, Bronco's here! He is? Bronco! I've missed you, honey. Oh, I missed you, too. Bronco, it's good to have you here. How are the twins, Marge? See how I miss those little rascals. Oh, they're adorable. Ronnie looks more like you every day. Oh, great. I bought a lot of things for them. Hey, Bronco, I said it's good to have you home. Isn't it, Leroy? Yeah. Marge, you get prettier every day. And you get handsomer. Oh, empty without you. Oh, I've been counting the days, Marge. It seems like a million. Hey, maybe we should have gone fishing. Oh! Oh, you folks will have to excuse Marge and me. Hello, Mr. Gillers-Lee. Well, I've been trying to say hello. Hello, Bronco. Ah, and Leroy. Hello, Leroy Shade. Ah, that was strength-less. Oh, Bertie, how's everything been with you, huh? Just fine, Mr. Bronco. Just fine and dandy. Well, let's all get ready for lunch. Bertie's going to prepare a nice lunch for us, Bronco. Oh. Yes, that's the beginning of our gala celebration. Celebration? We'll spend the afternoon talking about your trip. And then, tonight, I've arranged to take all of us to band practice. Band practice? Well, not many people know it. But the brass band is rehearsing tonight in the auditorium, getting ready for the summer concerts. Being a city official, I can smuggle all of us in. I can't wait. Hey, you bet. It's been a long time since we've all been together. Mr. Gillers-Lee, I thought you were going fishing. Oh, we talked about it, but we gave it up. Any chance of talking about it again? Bronco, you don't want to talk about fishing. Besides, we want to hear about your trip. Uncle Mort, you'll have all year to hear about his trip. He's already loaded the car, Bronco. It's just sitting out there waiting. Oh, well, in that case, the only thing for you to do, Mr. Gillers-Lee, is to get in the car and go. Naturally, we'll miss you. Oh, yes, naturally. Nah, nah, chill. No use tearing the family apart at the moment we're reunited. Oh, but, Mr. Gillers-Lee, you've got to go. No. No, Bronco, I've made up my mind. I insist you go. But I insist on staying. Oh, well, come on, Mark. Let's go upstairs and see the twins. Yes, let's everybody go upstairs and see the twins. I can't believe it. We have the parlor all to ourselves. I'm sorry it's been such a hectic homecoming, Bronco. Yeah, what a clam bake. Well, you know how Uncle likes you. Well, I like him too, but gosh, what became of Mr. Gillers-Lee? Oh, he just went out to the kitchen for a drink of water. Oh, I guess he talked so much his throat was dry. Well, now that all the greetings have been said, maybe we can have a few minutes alone. Oh, good. I've been away so long, I just want to sit here and look at my little wife. Uh-oh. What is it, Leroy? Gosh, you've been gone so... Why don't you go out and play with them? Wouldn't you like to go play your guitar? For money. Why don't you go count your money? Yes, why don't you? I know how much I have. Mr. Bronco. Oh, that's all right, Bernie. Leave that. What you doing in here? Entertaining Bronco. Being polite. Well, you'd be just a nice little polite boy and going outside. Oh, Cal might as well if he isn't going to play ball. That boy, he ain't old enough to realize when two people want to be alone. Oh, thank you, Bertie. Yeah, gosh, thanks, Bertie. Of course, everybody likes Mr. Bronco and everybody likes to talk to him. But Bertie knows you too don't want nobody hanging around. Oh, we're glad somebody understands, Bertie. Yes, sir. Did you have a nice trip, Mr. Bronco? Yeah, you had a chance to ask me that. Fine, Bertie. Glad to be home, though. Yes, sir. Well, I'll be leaving you two alone now. Thank you, Bertie. That is unless I can get you something from the kitchen. No, thanks. It's a little too soon after that big lunch. Yes, sir. There's food on the road. Oh, I bet you miss home cooking. That reminds me. I'd better get to the kitchen. We'll come out and talk to you later, Bertie. Yes, ma'am. Uh, Mr. Bronco, how'd you find the weather? Any rain where you been? Oh, well, uh... Did I ever tell you about that rainstorm I got? It was caught in that time. I went to destroy it. Oh. When I got on the train, the weather report said fan warmer. But that must have been an old weather report. Because before we got there... Bertie! Yes, sir. Well, if you say so, I don't want to go through that rainstorm again anyway. Guys, I'm glad you called, Bertie, Mr. Gildersleeve. I remember that story. It rained three days. Yes, thank you, Uncle. Well, I can tell when you two lovebirds want to be alone. Your old Uncle isn't stupid, you know. Right, George? I think I'll sit down for a while. Oh. Now, Bronco, what about your trip? Start from the beginning. Uncle Mort! Uncle, and I've hardly had a chance to say hello. You haven't? What have you been doing all the time? We've been getting rid of Leroy and Bertie. And Uncle Mort, we don't want to be impolite, but... Well, why didn't you tell me they were hanging around too much? Why, George, I'll see it doesn't happen again if I have to sit here all afternoon. Add a boy, Mr. Gildersleeve. Of course, the little family means well, but some people just don't know when they're imposing. You can say that again. Getting back to your trip, Bronco. I'll get it! I'll get it, Bertie. I think I know who it is. I hope it isn't someone to see us. Well, it could be Judge Hooker. Why would he be coming over here? Well, I invited him. I thought he'd like to see Bronco. Oh, fine. After being away from my wife for a month, there's nobody I'd rather see than Judge Hooker. Well, yes, well, don't worry, Bronco. I'll get rid of it. Keep your shirt on, Judge. Hello, Judge. Bronco's here, I see. Yes, but you can't come in. Well, Gilda, you invited me. Sorry, Judge, but I didn't know what I was doing. Gilda, stop holding the door. I'm coming in. Well, you can come as far as the den, but you can't go in the parlor. Oh, Balderdash. Sorry, Gilda. Watch it, Judge. Hello, Bronco. Welcome home. Oh, goat butting his way into the parlor. Oh, Judge. Hello, Judge. Marjorie, I know you're just thrilled to have your husband home. So far, I hardly realize he's here. Judge, now that you've said hello, let's go into the den. Gilda, let go of my elbow. I want Bronco to tell me about his trip. But, Judge... And I thought you were going on a fishing trip. Why don't you go? That's what we're trying to get him to do. The car's passed and ready to go. Why don't you go, Mr. Gilder's leave? And take the judge with you. I thought we were all going to the band rehearsal tonight. That does it. Never mind, Bertie. I'll get it. No, we can't. Don't worry, Marjorie. I'll handle it. Billy. Billy, Bronco's home. Yes, I know. I wanted to see how he liked the granola. He liked it fine, Phoebe. I'll tell him you inquired. Well, I may as well speak to him now that I'm here. Phoebe, don't you have to get back to the drugstore? Mrs. Phoebe's watching this pharmacy. I can sit for an hour. Well, let's all go into the parlor. We shouldn't leave them alone like this. Yes, I suppose. Say, where are they? Nobody here. Marjorie! They did. There they go, down the street. Why'd they take my car? It's loaded with fishing equipment. That's why they took it. They're going fishing. How do you like that? Their first chance to be home alone, and they take the car and go fishing. Great Gilder's leave will be right back. When you buy salad oil, don't settle for anything less than craft salad oil. Only craft oil is superfined, and that gives it lighter body to blend better with other ingredients. Takes you only a minute or two to make perfect French dressings. As for your baking, you'll be proud of your moist, airy cakes, pie crusts that are crisp and flaky. Tomorrow, get the most wonderful oil ever created for homemade salad dressings and baking. Lighter-bodied craft salad oil. Say, not a bad room, huh, Marge? Oh, it's lovely. When Uncle was talking about Moose Head Lodge, I pictured an old log cabin. Oh, look, we have a view of the lake. Yeah. Just the two of us. No people. Uh-huh. Isn't it wonderful? Mm-hmm. Was that a telephone? I'll answer it. Tell him we're not home. This operator, he's here. He's here for you. Who the heck could be calling me? Hello? Mr. Gildersleeve? It's your uncle. Oh, for heaven's sake. Hello, Mr. Gildersleeve? I'm sorry to disturb you, my boy, but I just had to call. It seems I was pretty thick-headed this afternoon. Yeah. I didn't realize I was getting in the way. Oh, well, that's all right. Thanks, Mr. Gildersleeve. We have just one problem here at home. Oh? What's that? What are we going to ice cream? Good night, Mr. Gildersleeve. Good night, auntie. Good night. The show is written by John Elliott and Auntie White and is partially transcribed. Included in the cast were Walter Tetley, Mary Lee Robb, Lillian Randolph, Dick Crenna, Earl Ross, and Dick Legrand. Musical compositions by Jack Neakin. This is John Easton saying good night for the Kraft Foods Company, makers of the famous line of Kraft quality food products. Be sure to listen in next Wednesday and every Wednesday for the further adventures of the great Gildersleeve. One important thing to remember this summer, be very careful about fires. Just one careless act is all it takes to start a forest fire, a fire that not only destroys beauty, but eats up one of the nation's critical raw materials, lumber. So keep your conscience clear and crush out cigarettes, drown out campfires, and carefully obey the fire laws in your vacation area. Then you'll be doing your part toward stopping this shameful waste. Remember, only you can prevent forest fires. Groucho Mark presents You Bet Your Life on NBC.