 By transcription Colgate dental cream to clean your breath while you clean your teeth and help stop tooth decay and palm olive shave creams For a smoother more comfortable way to shave bring you our miss brooks starring Eve Arden Comedy episode of our miss Brooks under the direction of Al Lewis Well bringing an apple to the teacher is an old custom indeed But our miss Brooks who teaches English at Madison High School was quite surprised last Friday morning When Walter Denton handed her a large bouquet of roses as she got into his car to drive to school Why Walter? These flowers are lovely, but what's the occasion? You're the occasion, beautiest one The very fact of your presence in my humble conveyance is cause for celebration And alongside of you these flowers seem like so many weeds That's a very pretty speech, Walter, but I still say these are beautiful flowers Look at these stems so long and straight alongside of yours. I get the idea Now what's behind this flattering demonstration of affection behind it? Oh, what could possibly be behind it? But a genuine desire to make my favorite teacher happy Besides I don't deserve all your gratitude Some of these flowers were picked in the backyard of a neighbor of mine Tex Barton You mean the boy whose folks recently moved here from Texas. That's him. Oh, he's very fond of school miss Brooks I know the minute the final bell rings. He drags himself off the campus as if he was shot out of a cannon Sometimes I wonder why it doesn't park his horse in the hallway There's a reason for his rush miss Brooks Texas dad is on the local draft board and he's helping him check the outgoing males That's a switch in my English class. He checks nothing but the incoming females But let's get back to the flowers Walter you're giving them to me was leading up to a favor, wasn't it a favor for me Oh miss Brooks, how can you possibly suspect me of such foul tactics? No matter how much you put me I'm not gonna divulge the dismal fact that last Monday mr. Conklin caught me holding hands with Harriet and ordered me to stay for an hour after school for two weeks to take care of such sundry Backbreaking and humiliating jobs sweeping out classrooms washing windows and Emptying waste baskets. I don't know mr. Interlocutor Why should you tell me that mr. Conklin ordered you to stay for an hour after school for two weeks to take care of such sundry backbreaking and humiliating jobs of sweeping out classrooms washing windows and Emptying waste baskets It isn't any of your concern miss Brooks. This is my problem and mine alone Why you'd have to flay me with a horse whip before I'd ask you to drop into mr. Conklin's office this morning and ask him to ease up on me Why I just couldn't ask you to do that miss Brooks. You couldn't definitely not However, if you were sweet enough to volunteer Have a seat miss Brooks. I'll be with you as soon as I get this fishing and hunting equipment unpacked Well, that's quite an assortment mr. Conklin. This fishing tackle is the best money can buy and look at this mr. Brooks isn't this fly rod of beauty. Oh, it's perfect anybody that couldn't catch flies with that has no talent The reason I came into your office presently miss Brooks presently I can hardly wait to try this stuff out at Crystal Lake over the weekend. I'm leaving right after school $200 worth of sporting goods like would never have afforded it without consummating one of my shrewdest Transactions this week. Would you like to hear about it miss Brooks? Well, thank you. I'll tell you Do you remember the extra car I've had in my garage for low these many months the bargain I told you I'd relinquish you mean the 1928 hopmobile The sale well the other day I found a sucker of customer That's the car you were going to show me when I was visiting you and mrs. Conklin one afternoon, isn't it? Yes. Yes. Did I show it to you? No, it was too ill to accept visitors that day Pardoning of the crankshaft had set in Confidentially it has no motor, but I neglected to mention that fact to my customer But what did you tell him I merely informed him that I had misplaced the ignition key and that he may pick up the car this afternoon By then I'll be on my way to Crystal Lake with his check for $200 already in my pocket But mr. Conklin that doesn't sound very ethical to me all fair in business miss Brooks remember that Now I'd like to write my customer some sort of a cheer-up message and leave it pinned to the tow rope on the rear axle But before I can write anything you will have to walk over to the supply room and get me some stationery I'm all out. Yes, sir But first may I say a word in behalf of Walter Denton if it's a word that accurately describes him It'll only serve to embarrass the both of us Please sir he told me you gave him two weeks detention for holding hands with your daughter And you're displeased with my decision in this matter mr. Conklin I don't mean to encroach upon your authority But all I ask is does the punishment fit the crime and perhaps not but that can be adjusted instead of two weeks detention I'll give him a month Picking up waste baskets and emptying them into an incinerator. I'm glad you reminded me I want Denton to move the incinerator away from the fence fence. There's no fence near our incinerator I'm glad you reminded me Denton has always struck me as being the sort of boy who could build a first-rate fed Mr. Conklin, how can Walter possibly find time to complete all these extra tasks? I see what you mean, Miss Brooks, and I do want to be fair about this matter I tell you what instead of a month. I'll extend his detention period to six weeks Now get that stationery and hurry back. Oh, but mr. Conklin, please Yes, sir I'm sorry Walter, but yeah, I know miss Brooks with a transom open. I could hear the entire sickening conversation Then you know that I tried my appreciation for your efforts is only exceeded by my gratitude that you came out when you did Now I got the feeling that if you'd said four more words on my behalf you've had me in the gas chamber Cheer up, Walter. Maybe he'll relent before the six weeks are up Well, I've got to wait a minute. Is there a circus on our campus a circus? Of course not Then why is that antelope coming down our hallway? That's Tex Barton miss Brooks. Hi Tex. Howdy miss Brooks. Howdy stranger Shucks ma'am. I ain't no stranger to you. Maybe it's wishful thinking Uh Tex your pal Walter needs a bit of pepping up. He's pretty low this morning shucks part That ain't no way to be. Well, I can't have I can't help it Brooks tried to get me out of a jam with mr. Conklin, but it was no dice Well, now if handsome critter like you couldn't soften the ombre he must be dead sad again, Walter forgive him a boldness ma'am, but You're as pretty as a Palomino mare a lopin off to the barn when she gets a whiff of new moon What can I say Tex after I've said me kids I've got to lope over to the supply room and Some writing paper see in class later on goodbye miss Brooks. Howdy. Oh, it's me Chiquita Say Walter, would you keep these papers in your briefcase for me? I forgot mine. Oh sure Tex See these are a bunch of blank induction notices aren't they yeah, huh? I got to bring him to my pot down to the draft board after school. Wait a minute. I've got an idea If old marble head thinks he's going fishing at Crystal Lake while I do a lot of menial jobs around here He's got another thing coming. Now, where's that pen of mine? Oh, here we are Walter, what are you gonna do? I've already done it. I wrote mr. Conklin's name on this induction notice Slip it under his door and beat it Harry. You wanted mr. Conklin. Oh, what's this on the floor some sort of a notice and notice Hand it to me, please Oh It says Greeting is not my birthday These greetings inform me that I have been selected for training and service in the armed forces of the United States You in quite a hurry to get me. They didn't even mail this thing. They just slipped it under the door What this afternoon? well This is it. I don't jump to conclusions. Mr. Conklin at your age There is no age limit for a good soldier miss Brooks. You forget I resigned my commission as a major in 1946 This notice makes it obvious the tough brass wants me back But sir, if you were a major, why wouldn't they offer you a commission instead of inducting you as a private? politics Besides mine not to reason why I'll miss my life here at Madison no more meeting no more books no more teachers dirty looks I Still can't believe that our military situation is so desperate that well, why should they want a high school? They always want efficient men in the armed forces miss Brooks They just figured it's time old coke and crackers Conklin was back in harness. That's all Coke and crackers Conklin an affectionate nickname the boys pinned on me for my lengthy tour of duty at the canteen snack bar It looks like Eisenhower was right when he inspected our Indian wrestling team at the Elks Club in 1940 At that time he shook hands with me and said Conklin. You've got a firm grip The kind of a grip this country needs General Eisenhower said that to you it was lieutenant Eisenhower dead miss Brooke Lieutenant in World War two. I'll never forget that man Lieutenant Stanley Eisenhower Now I remember him good pal of ensign Sam Nimitz wasn't he? But mr. Conklin if you're going to report to your draft board this afternoon is is there anything I can do to assist you at school? Your loyalty touches an old soldier's heart miss Brooks. Yes, come to think of it. There's a lot you can do Firstly, I won't be needing any of this sports equipment Please try to dispose of it for me But can't you take it back to the store? No, no, I bought it at a final sale. Perhaps you could auction it off I'm sure some of the teachers might be interested if only for sentimental reasons in owning something that belonged however fleetingly To their departing principle Well if the price is cheap enough, I mean What we could do is put up a notice on the bulletin board and hold the auction in the gym But mr. Conklin, I don't know very much about auctioning things off and since this emergency was caused by the armed forces I'd like your permission to telephone Marshall the defense secretary Marshall. No Marshall Monaghan. He's a war surplus auctioneer