 Thanks for joining another Psych2Go live stream. I hope everyone is doing very well and how's everyone's doing so far? I see that we have One second here Hey, one. Thanks for joining back again. I was just checking on some of the technical difficulties. How's everyone's doing? I see that we have over 442 or 488 people watching right now. Welcome. Thank you so much for joining. I Hope everyone's doing well It's just a quick reminder that YouTube live stream don't have a capability to generate close caption during live however, subtitles will be available once the live stream ends and Video is made accessible on YouTube. Once again on behalf of Psych2Go's team We are truly truly grateful from our bottom of our hearts for everyone's believing in us Um Give me one second here. I apologize. I think there's something going on with my bluetooth suddenly acting up Okay, looks it's okay now Um, what I was saying is that um once again from the bottom of Psych2Go's team We are truly Grateful from the bottom of hearts for everyone who believes in us and follow us for so long We we all of us actually made it happen and hitting the milestone of six million subs Some of you may know that Psych2Go originally from tumblr posting my mental health Awareness eventually translation into video content on youtube back in 2014 It's such an incredible how much has changed over these years and how much we together have impacted the community and globally and how we are saving people's lives And again, we're just a small team and we're just have a huge dream to help seeing people reaching out to us all the time saying our content has changed their lives And really and they finally took the approach to seek help From the professional and right there that really warms our heart And we know that we're on the right path doing the right thing and really motivates us to continue to create More content for all of you and again our ultimate goal is to really inform and open a dialogue on mental health We may or may not be able to provide solution to everyone's Concern but it's the information that is enough which allows you to be in power to seek help from the professional As you all know that there is no one solution fits all and everyone is different Once again, thank you so much for joining. My name is Cindy and I am the host for today's live stream I am one of site to go's members. I believe it is our first time Meeting here. So there is a chance I may have interacted with you in the comment section Their first hour when the live stream went When the video goes live For those who don't know what I do at site to go My main responsibility is to overlook the entire project Such as voiceover and animation project from start to end Ensuring that we actually have videos to release every single day for you I also overlooked our channel's membership Benefits that you get from joining our channel and also your extra support allow us to freely create more content And giving back to the community Such as this special live stream that you're watching right now Where we invite a professional to answer some of your questions and discuss about mental health That being said, we actually have collected about 200 questions in Our community page today for the live stream and unfortunately we only have You know one hour to cover some of the questions We may or may not be able to go through all of them If this is something that all of you enjoy and want to see more and more on a monthly Live stream and want us to do a part two as a therapist. Let's know it at the end of the live stream So as a quick disclaimer That the following share content is educational purposes and does not represent any of the organization we work for And normally that um also a knowledge that some of the portion of this live stream may bring up some intense physical and emotional responses and that's okay Just take a break and do whatever is important to take care of Ourself. All right. And that's been said. Let's just Welcome our special guest bonnie chi Here we have bonnie I love though Can you hear me? Okay Um, I apologize. Give me one second here. I think like my bluetooth is not working. I apologize It was working earlier Um, let me see testing testing One two three. No, sometimes it was working and now Okay, okay. Yes. Okay. I think I can hear you now Again, thank you so much. Well, bonnie. Uh, thank you for so much. You're coming back Coming on and making this happen. I know you're you're you're such a busy person You know with your work and we're trying to schedule live stream for a while And so that means that like why don't you, you know, introduce yourself to the audience? Yeah Thank you, cindy It's way Good morning. Good afternoon. Good evening wherever you are joining us My name is why bonnie chi pronouns they them and she her I have the privilege of zooming in today from the unceded traditional ancestral's territory of the muscarium Squamish and silvetooth peoples of turtle island Otherwise known as the vancouver lower mainland in british columbia canada It is a beautiful day out really hot really warm. I'm primarily staying indoors today To stay cool and i'm hoping that once the temperature drops till something a little bit more reasonable I can go out and go for a walk Um, I want to acknowledge that I am a first generation immigrant and settler And that I have the privilege to work and learn and play here And so before we kind of dive into answering questions That have been submitted. I want to just take a brief moment to invite everyone to Take note of wherever you're joining him from today and take a breath inhale And exhale And just simply be here So passing it back to cindy Awesome. That was a great quick You know practice in the beginning to get started Thank you so much again And so I have some questions that we kind of narrow down on different themes So first let's just get to know about your role as a therapist Also as known as a clinical counselor. So Someone in our community As how does a typical therapy session go and how long or often is the therapy? Yeah And so From what I understand culturally speaking depending on where you're located in the world Some sessions differ in length. So i'm well how i'm going to be answering is specifically pertaining to my knowledge Here in Vancouver, north america specifically, right? Typical sessions that I engage with with my clients are about 15 minutes long Sometimes clients can request for 75 minute sessions or for those who do couples or family therapy Those sessions can go on to 75 or 90 minutes long Thank you for the answer um And another question that someone asks is when you start therapy for the first time How many sessions does it normally take for a person to be comfortable with the therapists they are talking to? Yeah, good question. That again Will vary depending on who the therapist is and where the person is at in terms of Their their journey and whether they feel ready to start therapy. I've had clients come in And sit there and we spend we spent the longest I sat in silence was 15 minutes 15 minutes And then I've had clients come in and they just immediately burst into tears And and so like that that doesn't like that isn't representative of How comfortable one is I think that will always be dependent on the client I for myself I check in with them let them know like if things change if There are things that they want to share with me don't want to share with me. There is no rush The idea is that um, ideally it goes at a pace that feels safe and comfortable for the client. Um, however Some people perhaps are limited to the amount of therapy sessions They're able to receive through their work benefits or through the community That they've connected with sometimes it's one sometimes it's three sometimes it's eight sessions Depending on the scenario the therapist can also request for more um, yeah, just it varies and Everyone's different Right. So it's like it varies and everyone's different. So it comes down to The situation that you brought in that you connect with the therapist. Yes. Um, okay um, so the next questions that someone our community asks um, I guess maybe let's talk about your role like how do you become a therapist like, um, You know, and they also have a concern or a question that they they mentioned like due to technical advancement Will there be no need for therapy therapists in 10 to 20 years? That's quite interesting. Let's see your thoughts Yeah, so, um Two separate questions that i'm gonna answer the first one. Um, how one works to becoming a therapist Depending on where you're located in the world. There's going to be different regular regulatory bodies right In north america in the uk. There's training. There's certification There's requirements that are necessary and I imagine other countries as well, right and so Uh, figuring out, you know, what the requirements are for your area is the first step or for wherever you want to eventually practice Right. Um speaking to canada In british columbia counselors therapists, uh, we do a bachelors and it can be in psychology sociology criminology I know somebody who did a bachelors in communications and But then what's important is meeting the prerequisites that are necessary in order to then get into the master's level and so some of those prerequisites could be, uh, counseling rec related courses or psychology related courses and um after that we go into the master's level and there is and Intensive training process where we learn more about, you know, the human body the human brain What may Contribute to the way that people respond and react there's a lot of different approaches and In in bc after you get your master's you're then able to register with the BCACC to become a registered clinical counselor or you can register with a ccpa the and become a canadian certified counselor and so That's that's primarily in in, uh, canada and and then In america from what I understand there are also similar steps like supervised hours that need to be met um intensive training in a master's program and and in terms of things like diagnoses or writing prescriptions, you know, um, that will also vary depending from country to country Interesting it sounds like there's a lot of process to become a therapist and lots of the education background as well Okay, that's that's that's great that I think that really covers that question of how to become a therapist The second question was more like an interested Interesting question that they were just curious about like as you know, like technology events like quite fast and they're wondering like Well, do you actually be no need for therapists in 10 to 20 years? Let's see from your point of view. Yeah I Personally think that therapists are always going to be around um To to to try and sound hip. Um, this is the hill I will die on Uh, like There's been a lot of talk like, um, I I I won't um, I won't deny that the advancements of technology and having apps and Ways at which to support individuals outside of therapy has not been helpful, right? Um at the same time As humans, we are relational beings that healing occurs when we're able to be in relation with another when there's attunement and being able to connect with somebody and um Have that healing process like neurologically that attunement right to be present that energy. It's different Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Okay um Yeah, I do agree with that because I feel like um, even though, you know, our technology advances We still need the interaction with human to human because like you can't have like a I will place a human or a Fabulous to kind of try to understand you a little bit better Yeah, I do agree with that So let's go to the next question now. We're getting to the next section of getting help like I know a lot of our audience You know may not have access to therapy or therapy is too expensive So these are some of the questions that they have That they want to ask you so number one is How do you know? Um, how do I know it's time to get therapy or how do you know you need to see a therapist? Yeah, that's a good question and you know, uh Some of the listeners and viewers will notice the theme with the way I respond. Um, because a lot of my answers will be it depends They'll be dependent on the individual where they are in their life um Quite often what I say to my clients is most people come to care therapy because they want to change in their lives They're realizing that the way that they're living is no longer sustainable and something needs to shift And perhaps they've been trying to do certain things a particular way and it hasn't gotten them the results that they would like to see um, so there are scenarios like that and then there are scenarios where Individuals come to counseling really unwillingly like they're there because their family members want them to be there Or they're there because they've been mandated, you know, they've been institutionalized, right? And in those scenarios, there's a lot of uh pushback a lot of hesitation which makes therapy even more difficult right, um, therapy is meant to be a place where people feel safe and comfortable to share and you know Be unapologetically authentically themselves, right, which I think not many of us Feel comfortable doing because society has kind of put these expectations on how we need to be seen how we need to act how things are and um, in particular in the last 15 16 months, I imagine a lot of people have had to really sit with themselves uh working from home or learning from home or You know, not having that relational connection with others right You you brought up a good point about, um, how they have to be Comfortable with the the therapist has us that's important And then so then that comes to the next question like how do you know? It's the right therapist that you're you're seeing or when do you know Is time to move on to the next therapist? Yeah, really good question, right? Um, again Depending on where people are at in their lives, some people stick with the therapist that they have because financially speaking Uh, that that's what they're able to afford, right? Um speaking for myself when I was in grad school The therapist I saw was through my my school, right? I'm able to pay. I think it was $40 a session Which was quite affordable therapy. Um, at least in bc Starts off at 120 a session um, and at the time I Like that was what I was able to afford. Um, it was great therapists Perhaps not like the most perfect fit, but we were still able to get work done, right? Um, and Something that one of my colleagues mentioned earlier this week is like When it comes to therapy sometimes sometimes when you're in a crisis It's similar to like the vaccine situation that's going on, right? The first vaccine you get is the best vaccine Right. So the first therapist you can get for support is is the best therapist you can get and From there being able to get ourselves, you know into a place where We have the resources where we realize, okay, um Working with this therapist has served me and has provided me what I've needed in this time and If things are Staying stable. Uh, they're realizing. Okay. I'm ready to wrap up or I'm ready to tackle something else on And perhaps this therapist doesn't specialize in it, right and wanting to shift to something else That's interesting. Um, because you just mentioned in my you might need to find different specialists, but I'm just wondering like, um Therapist is very like therapy is very complex and there's Different types of therapy that you can go into. Uh, do you mind just briefly explain to our audience about like what different types of therapists or That's out there. Yeah. Yeah So Before I dive into that I do want to like acknowledge that depending on where people are located in the world Some places do not have like the word therapist or clinical like counselor Regulated, right? Um, and so what that means is anybody can hang a shingle outside of their house and call themselves like a life coach or a therapist Which is really concerning because that's when you can get You know, that's when harm can occur, right? And so when you're when you're looking for a therapist really really taking the time doing the homework and checking to see, you know Does this person report to a regulatory body or they registered or are they bound by a code of ethics? So that they do good work, right? and um, so there's there's that portion and then When it comes to therapy the different kinds of therapists So the fancy term that is used in in the counseling world is theoretical orientation And so what that means is the approach that the therapists use When they are working with a client, right the more popular ones that people have heard of are Cognitive behavioral therapy, right? There's also person centered or client centered meeting the person where they're at There's there's trauma therapy. So emdr There's also dbt dialectic behavioral therapy So these are all different modalities that can be used when working with clients Some people prefer individual some prefer groups Some people prefer intensive it all kind of varies and it's really figuring out Like what fits the individual, right? Right? It comes down to doing your research and Finding what works for you because there's a lot of different type of therapy It may not work for you in the beginning And that's where you we have to dive a little bit deeper and find the next one that actually works for you Yeah Because like a lot of people can easily think that oh if I go into therapy for the first session I feel like that might Resolve all the the concern that it might have but it's actually it's a long it's a it's a long journey that takes time Um to you know recover or heal from whatever issue that or concern that you may have Okay, um, okay. So let's go to the next question. Um, this is another question that a lot of people have at our audience as So they feel like they have anxiety or depression and They want to bring out the the concern to the parents, um, but they they're afraid of Um, hearing back from the parents of rejecting their request that um Asking for therapy so for help. Um, so in your opinion like what can Uh, it could be teenager adults. Uh, what can they do to bring up the the concerns that they have right now with the parents? They want therapy for help. Yeah, that's a really good question And I think it's a it's a concern that many people experience Especially since there is that you know stigma around mental health and therapy, right? Depending on what culture you're from and so on um yeah and so Depending on what age an individual is, right? Um, there's there is a legal age of consent Right, if people are of age and they feel comfortable reaching out to mental health professionals Um Communities like resources in the community like nonprofits in order to seek therapy They're able to do that themselves, right? Um for those who are younger and perhaps need, you know parental assistance there That that does become a lot more challenging, right? Yeah, and um, you know Quite often what may be beneficial is being able to have the language to describe what is going on Finding the supports that are already existing in your life, right? If there are siblings or aunts and uncles or teachers Or or doctors that we're already working with um that are aware of how we're doing having them Take part or join in on compensation can make things a little bit easier as well So we're not the ones kind of just diving into the deep end on our own, right? Um Because it can be really difficult to start that conversation and Yeah, I can for sure can imagine it be, you know, difficult to bring out um That you're having that you feel like you have inside or that you feel like you have depression But again, you don't know and you want to bring up to your parents So your your first suggestion maybe like to talk to someone who you trusted First to kind of, you know, just voice it out to someone that you you trust and and go from there Yeah, so that really leads to the next question like, um How how can you ask for help when you don't know how to get the words out to get to get the help That someone has asked that question like you want to Know you need help, but how do you ask someone? How do you ask for help? Yeah Mm-hmm. Um, so the question that the person is wondering like like if they know they need help How do they um ask for help? What's your opinion on that? Yeah, and so Before I answer I just want to acknowledge that, you know, whoever it is that submitted this question, you know Uh, thank you for submitting it. Thank you for acknowledging that. Okay. I'm wanting to take the step It is Hard it is really hard. It takes a lot of courage. It is terrifying. It is scary. It's overwhelming, right and even having that thought even Coming to that conclusion that I want to reach out for support that in itself Right, you are making progress You have grown from where you were before right and so being able to acknowledge that to begin with And then again thinking about What is available in terms of resources? Right the fact that you are Watching and listening to this live stream right now. I imagine that you perhaps have seen other things on psych to go and Are familiar perhaps with you know things like crisis lines or Community resources perhaps like going to your doctor, right? Um, a lot of times it's the first step is the hardest part, right and What is Great about the community, right the mental health community is um, ideally not always but ideally, um, if the person you reach out to Uh, they aren't competent and well suited for whatever has been brought up Um, if they're unaware that at the very least are able to refer And connect individuals to someone else, right? Um, I've had plenty of clients reach out to me, um, whether through private practice or in the institution I work for and And we'll we'll talk about what's going on and it's like they're ready for therapy And I'll be like I'll be completely transparent with you. I don't think I'm the right fit for you I think there's another therapist that would be able to work with you better and be able to get them connected with that, right? um and then also Acknowledging like it's not always the case. Like there are barriers. There are obstacles. There are challenges, right? And so Uh, really asking ourselves, you know, what is readily available for us, right? Perhaps it's, um Watching educational videos to start right to get the language for it. Perhaps it's calling into a crisis line or texting into A help Text sort of thing. I know in the last 15 16 months with with the impacts of coven in the pandemic There's been a lot of shift And um support that's been provided online, right? So whether you are in Um, usually usually elementary high schools have a counselor available, right? And they're they've got resources to connect individuals to their community college university level There's also a lot of like online resources there Yeah, so it seems like um That's important. The first step is taking a step on acknowledging that, you know, you you understand That you need help and there are resources out there that you can reach for Such as like you mentioned like lmhs school or high school university Usually they have counselors there that you can reach out for or even your doctor or like Online research on the government websites. So there's just plenty of resources online that that's the first step to You know look into That's that's a good tip right there Okay, so let's jump on to the next section. Um, this is going to be talking about toxic relationship Relating to family friends or perhaps co-worker So someone in our community has asked how to deal with toxic parents or family members Yeah, do we do we have three hours? Um For a couple weeks Yeah, that's that's that's a that's a that's a very tough question. Yeah, it can take a long time Yeah, and it's it's something that a lot of my clients have come into therapy for right, um I know there's like a a meme or a post going on around being like Um, we're people are in therapy because the people in their lives aren't willing to go to therapy um, right um and and and like When it comes to toxic relationships a lot of it comes down to boundary setting yes, yeah, and depending on the Culture the environment, uh the individuals that you grew up with Sometimes boundaries don't exist Right. Um, or if they are, um, they're very blurred or they're not very clear or you know, they're they're different from what we see um in the lives of others, right and so With boundaries it takes a lot of time, right and kind of relating to what we were talking about in the previous question about like when you're starting therapy How do you reach out? What are the steps? Um, same with like when it comes to toxic relationships Being able to find even just one person that you feel comfortable with and safe with talking to about the situation to get A separate perspective whether that be a friend a colleague a sibling or calling into the crisis line or your doctor or You know, um, because when we're in it, it's really hard to realize what's going on Because yeah, we know what we know and we don't know what we don't know right a lot of people grow up and they're like Oh, yeah, this is normal Right. Um, you know parents barge into our rooms whenever they want to Phone calls at late hours of the night being expected to drop everything kind of thing, right? Um, that's that's their their norm right, um and the way that I I saw this online. I can't remember exactly. Um, who is from boundaries are described as How much I can love you while also loving myself at the same time? Right and when a person sets a boundary, it's not that they don't want you in their life anymore It's because they're trying really hard to keep you in their life um That's a very um deep quote quotation right there Um, and now I'm just wondering like how do you set boundaries now that that's just tough Like because your parents is your parents that you know since you were born Or family members or that you live with like, how do you set boundaries? If you know you need to that's a tough question. How do you how how will you do it? Yeah And there are a lot of um, like boundary workbooks Right. Um, that like if people are want because I know we're limited on time, right? Like if people want to work through there's that um going to see a counselor and learning different boundary setting um Approaches um, I know when it comes to boundary setting when I'm working with my clients I Really invite them and encourage them to be aware of how they're feeling Right on my feeling physically right now Um, what's going on emotionally what's going on with my thoughts? Am I noticing that I'm getting anxious overwhelmed? Am I shutting down am I numbing out right because these are Warning signs to let us know when our boundaries are starting to get crossed when we're we're not in a place Where we're comfortable anymore, right and for that it could be you know, okay I need to take a step back and go use the restroom right now where I need to go take go for a walk Or I need to go listen to a song right everyone for everyone boundary setting may be a little different right um and so Really having that awareness is important is we can't change what we don't know Exactly. Mm-hmm. Yeah. So like yeah, that's that's exactly Okay, so on to the next question that our community have asked um How would they deal with? um Distrust towards oneself after uh, you have ruined your relationship like pushing away or cheating That's very specific. Yeah Yeah, it's very specific and I think it's something that Many of us relate to right when we've had Experiences in our lives where things have not gone the way that we wish that it could have and we Start questioning and we start judging and we are really critical and we start wondering like, you know Oh, I made these mistakes in the past and do I know if I'm making the right mistake or making the right choice tried to avoid mistakes um and you know A lot of times you know You know, there's a saying that uh when we find ourselves constantly thinking about the past, right? We're in a state of depression because there's so much regret. There's so much guilt, right? And when we're worrying about the future, you know, all the what-ifs we're in a state of anxiety Right because there's that uncertainty unknown Whereas, uh, if we are able to be in the present the here and now This is the only thing we can control because we can't control the past. We can't control the future, right? The here and now is what we do have control over, right? That's why they call it the present. It's a gift. Yes, right? Yeah Well, that's a good one I actually for some reason I just never fall about like present is like, you know right now and Yeah, sorry to interrupt you. No, no, no. I'll get yeah. And so like when it comes to you know Asking ourselves like can I trust myself again? Like that that is hard, right? Yeah especially when we've had experiences where Perhaps, you know, things haven't gone well And so we start distrusting our actions or if we have going back to the previous question If we have toxic individuals in our lives who really put us down And have us think oh, I am making poor choices. I am making poor decisions, right? neurologically speaking our brain shifts to to adapt to protect ourselves, right and The way that we have been coping the way that we have been responding and reacting, you know Perhaps it worked at some point in the past, right? Which is why we continue doing it However, you know what worked in the past may not work in the present, right? And again having that awareness, right? And then Recognizing we want to take those steps to change and then perhaps reaching out to supports or starting to look at, you know Books or connecting with doctors therapists so on so forth So yeah, you can't change the past but you should be focused on the present is a present And reaching out for our resources that you have available around you So let's go to the next question that our community have asked How do you protect your mind against? Negative people around you or how do you how to cope in a situation where your family seems to be around you? But not with you Oh, that's hard. Yeah oof that's that's a tough one and I imagine with uh The last 15 16 months a lot of us being at home We're having to move back home being around family people or being around people that we mean Not necessarily want to spend time with it's like oh, what do I do? Right? And Again going back to like boundary setting awareness of whether or not this is like an environment that I don't want to be in right now Right. Um knowing what works and knowing what doesn't work, right? Um I've had clients share with me how like, um They know that they can't try and do work In the living room because their families are walking around. They're really loud. Um, so like they know, okay Um, depending on what I'm needing to do. Maybe I need to be in my bedroom or maybe Um, I need to communicate with them saying like hey, I have a meeting right now or you know being clear about what's going on and in particular Making sure that what we're saying like what we're intending is actually being interpreted the way that we want it to right um Some of us perhaps if you're living at home I've heard stories of this where you're like in a meeting and like even professors teachers They're teaching and then their mom walks in with like a plate of fruit. Um, which is really sweet But then like the person is just like I I can hold you and And he's like well, you said you were teaching you didn't say it's not okay for me to bring you food Right. And so like like being clear with our boundaries being clear what our expectations are, right? Sometimes we we don't know we know what we know. We don't know we don't know Exactly. That's a good point So let's go to because we don't have a lot of time. We're going to go to the next section Topics it's going to be on anxiety So one of our community member Mention or asks this question. What do I do when I have a panic attack and how do I overcome panic attack? And this is also leads to I sometimes I'm outside. I can't cuddle up in my dark quiet room But sometimes I guess I can't do that when I'm not home. So it's hard for me to cope. How do I? Um, any advice on how I could calm down when I'm not home or alone So there's like three questions right there. Yeah, yeah um So these these are concerns that are often brought up by other clients This it's not just this person who's asking and I imagine for those who are listening and right now Some of you are like who I I experience that too, right? I know for myself Um, especially as things are ramping up and reopening like going outside if I'm suddenly around a lot of people It doesn't matter if I have a mask on I I'm just like I don't want to be here right now. It's like why are you so close to me? um and and everyone again Has a different approach and fit to taking care of ourselves Right and panic attacks in particular are are challenging because they're hard to control, right? And You know Depending on who the person is which therapist you're working with right again, everyone has a different approach and fit Right. Um for myself, you know, I've had I've I've experienced anxiety. I've not experienced a panic attack myself However, what what I have learned and been informed is that They they eventually pass Right. Um, the research shows emotions and physical feelings when physical responses when we sit with them long enough We're able to regulate ourselves and bring ourselves back to that equilibrium, right? Whether or not we do it quickly Is a whole other thing, right? Um And for this individual that submitted this question It sounds like they they know when they feel like they're able to ground themselves and and manage their anxiety Right being at home, but when it's dark, right? And so, you know being aware, okay, these are the things that are working Are there things similar or adjacent that may perhaps work? Right and being curious with it and and testing it out, right? Again, there is no one size fit all, right? And a lot of people come to therapy and they're like What's the answer give me advice and I'm like, I am really sorry to be the bearer of bad news I'm not here to give advice I'm just here You know a lot of work we do is psycho education looking at things from a different perspective, right? Thank you for answering that. I feel like we have a lot of community repeating Similar questions around pan attack. I think that might be helpful for those who are wondering So this leads to the next question on how How to deal with social anxiety over thinking and being embarrassed in everything even by talking Yeah, so a lot of layers there Yeah Yeah, I I've had clients come with That precise concern right wanting to experience a change wanting to experience a shift and Yeah, it's it's gonna vary, right? Um I shared this with Cindy yesterday. Um, and I'm gonna share it today um With therapy the way that I describe it to to my friends and my family to my clients is it's very similar to when you are driving a car Right. Um, and you're driving a car and perhaps the car starts acting up. So you you pull over to the side of the road Many of us are like, okay, I'm gonna call BCAA or AAA wherever you are in the world or the mechanic, right? And people think like Therapy is like you call a mechanic and the mechanic comes in they they fix the car up and then you're good to go Right. What therapy is in fact not that therapy is the mechanic going, okay Tell me what you see right now Is the key in the exact ignition is there gas in the tank pop open the hood? Is there any smoke, right? Okay, uh, the right hand side there. That's where the engine oil is I think it's yellow or like take that out check it And so you kind of explore see what perhaps needs to be adjusted and shifted and maybe Are going and so you hop back in you drive a little longer and maybe it acts up again and you have to pull over and and you You end up Trying what worked the first time and if it works awesome If not, you call a mechanic again and as time progresses ideally the duration between the car breakdowns lengthens and extends and Eventually gets to a point where you don't have to call a mechanic anymore because you're self-sustaining, right? And when it comes to anxiety taking care of ourselves managing ourselves, right? Being aware Do I have the capacity to do what it is? I'm wanting to do right now is really important Right, if you decide when you wake up in the morning, I'm going to do all of this stuff But you wake up and you are drained. You've barely slept. You don't have an appetite. You feel sick to your stomach It's really hard to do all those things Mm-hmm It's like um going back to the car analogy If you decide you're going to take a road trip, but you only have a fourth of a tank full And you thrive and then your car runs out of gas. Do you get mad at the car? For not being you were you were wanting to go or do you realize? Probably probably would be good to fill up the gas, right? Right. It's similar to us as humans That's a really good analogy using a mechanical mechanic and your car to force a therapy Okay, so because we don't have a long time 15 minutes left But I'll try to skim through like the topics that most people have asked in our community So we're going to go to the next Section as it's on self confidence and self improvement So the first question is how do I stop? Overthinking, uh, I feel like it's lowering my self confidence Yeah, and what's your advice on that? Yeah um I don't have advice. I have different Strategies that may or may not be beneficial on things to explore, right? Um, so In in British Columbia, we have anxiety bc as a resource and some of the resources are available on there Particularly your surrounding like overthinking and anxious slots and such is Again having that first step that awareness that these slots are coming up, right? The the term that's often used is um thinking traps like ways of thinking That we find ourselves trapped in right and some of those categories City what I can do is I can send you the links so you can provide them in Afterwards and people can click on them, right? Um, so let me see if I can pull Mine up so I can just read some of sure here Um, so like some examples of thinking traps are you know when we are fortune telling Right? I'm predicting that things are not gonna go well, right? Um, even though we don't really have a crystal ball to predict how the future is going to be Where we think in black and white, you know anything less than perfect is a failure, right? Or will you mind read? You know, ah Everyone who's watching right now. Let's think like this is a really dumb live stream Right or not Like who I am I am not good at public speaking my face is red right now people are gonna notice we made label like oh I'm so stupid. I'm I'm a loser, right? Um, or we may overestimate danger, you know I'm gonna I'm so worried. I'm so anxious. I'm gonna die like being on this live stream or we filter and and like I know Cindy you mentioned at the beginning Like oh, there's all these people watching and and I'm like, oh man, uh, how many people are gonna like this video How many people gonna dislike this video and then just filtering in on like, uh, these many people disliked it What did we do wrong? Right? Um, or catastrophizing Worst case scenario, um, or this one is one that's often used Should statements I should never feel anxious. I should Do this I should do this I should do this, right? And so all of these are considered thinking traps and Um, having awareness that these are thinking traps helps because we're then able to start challenging our thoughts, right? Is there evidence that this is true? Have I confused it with a thought or is it a fact? Right, what would my friends say am I 100% sure that this is going to happen? Right is this so important my life is going to depend on it. What's the worst thing that can happen? Right so on and so forth and so uh, the documents that I'm referring to right now, Cindy What I can do is I can send them to you you kind of Share them as a resource, right? Um And sure. Yeah Thank you so much for sharing that I'll definitely include uh, is that a website link or is it? It's a pdf. It's a pdf. Okay. Sure. I'll upload it. Um, it will be listed in the description box So all of you guys can check it out for your resources that you can look into We're going to go to the next section. Um on trauma. Um, so this is a very Personal question. I think um, how to how to start living my life after past trauma Or how do you how do you learn to trust again after your trauma? Yeah and so Before even diving into answering this, um To whoever submitted this question. Thank you for submitting it. Um trauma is hard trauma is You know described as something that is unexpected Overwhelming out of control, right? People often think of trauma as like the things we see on tv Car crashes neglect abuse, right? Um when that's not always the case, right? Um, there's trauma from The third grade math teacher who told us we'll never be able to get this right or the seventh grade english teacher Who was like you're never going to be able to write anything? Well, um that shows up later on in life when we're in college trying to take a stats course When we're trying to get the right, um paper out. Um, so on and so forth, right? And so even just acknowledging that Yeah, this is something that that we've experienced that in itself is really difficult right, um because The thing with with trauma you look at history, right? Um after the world wars. It wasn't called Like ptsd, right trauma. Um, it was shell shocked, right? There was never really language for this like this has been around for a really long time But we never had the language we never had the capacity or the understanding for it, right and um for those who have taken Like biology or psychology courses you're familiar with like our physical body and how it responds To to stress or you know our nervous system, right? There's the parasympathetic nervous system and the sympathetic nervous system, right? One helps our heart rate increase the other helps it like relax This is super cliff notes version if there are any bio majors or medical students watching right now Be gentle But but the but the gist of the idea is um again having that awareness, right? Um Because again as humans we're relational beings and our body is going to adapt and adjust To do what it thinks may be the best option in order to protect ourselves, right? And that could be choosing to fight that could be choosing to flight right to run We could freeze in the moment completely shut down completely numb out or we can do fawning which is a more recent the fourth f that As there's been more research out But the idea that the gist of the idea is like we we basically placate and we do what we can To is the other person to keep ourselves safe Right. And so these these responses are ways to protect ourselves and keep ourselves alive Right and again what worked in the past may no longer work for us in the future in the present, right? and again that awareness And particularly around like trauma processing trauma therapy getting support with that Acknowledging is the first step and then taking the steps to Gain support right kind of going back to some of the earlier questions like how do we find a good therapist? How we find a good, um, you know general practitioner, right? Um, depending on the type of trauma that's occurred ensuring that your medical professional team is trauma informed or Say for those who are in the lgbtq. I to plus to s plus community Making sure that your Therapist or your doctor is gender affirming, right? Those are all really important to ensure that we can feel safe feel comfortable Because like with trauma it it stays in our body the body keeps score Right. Um, there's a book Actually, uh, if you want to look I'll give you the links so you can provide it But the body sure it talks about how physically our body remembers the trauma that we endure, right? And um, it's a lot of unpacking a lot of working through and again depending on the individual where they're at in their life Which therapist or or or health professional they reach out to? The process of healing is going to look different for everybody, right? And so again really finding Um, something that works Mm-hmm Yeah, that's interesting. You have a lot of points that brought up That like everyone's different. Um, they have different You know, it may not it may worked in the past, but it may not work the future. So that's where you First step has to be a knowledge knowledge and finding the right therapist for to help you out again, it's come back to like researching and finding your right therapy and That's right for you. Um, so we don't have much time left, but um, I think I'll cover maybe one last question um, let's see Let's choose um, so this will be someone asks Can pets help with depression? Especially birds and how to deal with depression if you can't talk to someone or go to therapist Yeah, and it's a very personal question. It is a very personal question. Yeah, um, so, you know Like if we break down that question can can pets help with depression, right? How do we define help? Yeah, right. How do we how do how does a person define depression and what they're experiencing? Right? Um, research has found that being around animals is really therapeutic is really grounding, right? Um, depending on what kind of animal we're around like that's why there are, you know, um Like pads therapy dogs, right? Um, and you know it's a lot of Again figuring out the right fit Right. Um, if a person has shared with me. Yeah, I I as a child Um, I had these dogs chasing after me and it was terrifying. Um Getting them a dog probably is not going to help with their their mental health, right? Just knowing their past history. Um And it it comes down similar to like Finding a good therapist, right? Does the individual feel a connection? Do they feel safe? Do they feel comfortable? Right? Um Uh as a little bit of a side note like you look at young children, right? Um For those who have kids or nieces and nephews or siblings Do you ever notice how they have like that blanket or that toy that they really love and they don't go anywhere without it, right? It's because that is something that is comforting to them. That's soothing to them, right? And you know at that stage, perhaps that is what they need to stay regulated and ideally eventually You know, they get to a place where they're able to regulate themselves without that however at that time That's what they need and so for some individuals. Um, I've had I have clients who have dogs cats rabbits birds snakes, you know For them like that is what works Hmm. Yeah. Thank you so much for answering question about pets. Um, I think Uh, some people just wonder what are other ways to help them cope and that could be a way as well Um, so, uh, we're gonna wrap up and interject really quickly if you're living at home with your parents Um, or if you have roommates and stuff like that like always check to make sure it's okay before going Going get a pet. Um, just just just sharing like some some some personal experience from from friends who are like, um I'm going to do this and then and then realizing like, oh Oh, no, I don't actually have permission to do this or or like someone at home is allergic And then and then they have to return the animal and it's like this whole this whole roller coaster of emotions, right? And so yeah, yeah first make sure that your roommate or whoever you're living with is okay with pets before you Actually look into getting one Bonnie, I thank you so much for your time. Uh before we wrap up I want to uh, do you mind just explain like work when we find you or how can we if we want to uh, you know, maybe talk to you Talk to you or connect with you. How can we reach you out? Yeah, um, so for those who are located in British Columbia, Canada, and they're wanting to seek counseling services. Um, because uh, like I'm regulated and I work primarily with those in in bc. Um, I do have a website. It's why bonnie chi dot com I'll ask me to put the link below Yeah, I'm also on uh, twitter. Um at why bonnie chi. Um, I do want to mention like, um Like I like I imagine there's all these questions. I've been brought up, right? Um, I'm not always going to be able to respond to things Um, ethically speaking if there are concerns that are brought up that i'm not able to address and such I i'm i may try my best to redirect you. Um Yeah, I know like for for twitter like I do retweet a lot of other clinicians Um, and um, there's a lot of psycho education on there, right? Um, it's not a replacement for therapy Um, however, it is um, kind of good. It's a good reminder. Um, so to speak in between sessions, right? Um, I shared this analogy with uh, Cindy yesterday when we are Um going on a hike somewhere, right? If there's a trail that's already, um, you know Existing and we're used to walking down that trail. We're we're realistically going to go down that trail, right? And as humans Um, if we've learned to cope and adapt and respond in a particular way, that's going to be our go-to, right? Um part of therapy is learning. Okay. What is an alternative approach? What is a different path we want to take and at first if we're walking and hiking? There's going to be a lot of grass there There's not going to be a trail But as we walk through it more and more and more a trail or path will start to clear, right? Um, and you know the 15 minutes once a week once every two weeks, right? Um, we we do as much work as we can But what's important is what you take out of it and what you apply, right? And sometimes, um, some of these, uh, tweets or instagram posts, they're kind of like, uh, maps reminders prompts that show up that tell us Okay, this is the path and whether or not we choose to take it is up to us Mm-hmm. That's a good reminder because a lot of times we see these inspirational quotes online It's more like a reminder and not a replacement for therapy and that's where you know, you guys all All of you are empowered to seek help Look for a therapist that's right for you and do your research before you go into it Thank you so much for Bonnie. Um, this was a great stream that we have covered some of the questions Unfortunately, we're weren't able to cover all the questions but If there's something that all of you enjoy and wish to see more on the monthly live stream and Want us to do a part two of a ask a therapist. Let us know at the end of the live stream thank you so much for Bonnie again, and hopefully everyone will Are doing well and have a great day Thank you, Bonnie. I'll see you guys next time. See you. Bye now