 You can now follow me on all my social media platforms to find out who my latest guest will be and don't forget to click the subscribe button and the notifications button so you're notified for when my next podcast goes live. I remember my mum one day told me how my dad was crying in the car and my dad was like this bang, bang, bang to shut me up and that was when I was a kid in the car, I don't know my age but I was in the car so that was my dad. My dad had his own stuff that he needed to deal with and when you look back at him now because as people could listen to the story they could be like oh what your dad's this and that but then I got to understand my dad and found out that his mum used to beat him and getting into crime because you listen to the streets you know the mindset everyone's talking about road man listen now but the streets steals your potential the streets offers you a few options and job opportunities the street says rob someone take their stuff the street says solace drugs poison your community the street says do all these different things but none of it actually develops your character and you as a person so I bought into that and thought this was the way that I could make money but by the time I was 21 and I looked at my life I'm there sucking on a crack pipe all night and then I'm there thinking I wake up I missed the whole day because I was asleep from about 7 and woke up in the night again and I thought what the hell man what kind of life is this I had a dream when I was a youth I wanted to be someone I believed in myself then what's happened to that and then going in to see him in the room bro that's never ever gonna leave leave my head that feeling of just seeing him looking peaceful and then looking at his arms you could see the knife where he'd been trying to block it and just one got through in his heart just one I was so broken I've never seen so many tears and you can imagine I know how to cry now but I'm broken I'm crying there's a puddle on the floor like how all this water's dripping it was way more than that I was just break and I cried out to God like what now I give up but I was so plagued from revenge and anger that it felt like it was taking my life my life force was being sucked out of me because I was dreaming about killing him waking up you know thoughts have come from my head and I'm talking to you but I'm thinking about killing Hannah you don't even know boom we're on today's guest we've got Mark Prince OBE, how are you brother? it's really good to see you it's an honour to be sitting across from you you're doing fantastic work amazing work professional boxer fighting in the ring for world titles and you lost your son sadly 2006 from murder it was only 15 QPR prodigy but what the work you've done now is relentless to now help others help bring down knife crime it's phenomenal the achievements that you've done it's very brave as well to kick on especially obviously it can be hard it can be destructive but you haven't let it defeat you you're now here fighting and you're still trying to help others it's a beautiful thing brother how are you? I'm just feeling really grateful today man really grateful driving down with my wife down here I just felt this joy and this peace as I was going on my journey and then I was thinking about my journey and how long what I've been through to get here and how tough it's been you know and I was listening to this song yet still I rise by Yolanda Adams and I was thinking wow you was like there was a time I remember I was going through so much in my life you know my first marriage was breaking down my son was killed and I sang this song like for my god you know yet still I rise and I didn't know where that came from but I meant every word of it didn't know what the future held for me but that was me fighting back and I didn't realize how powerful that was going to help me for the future the words that I was singing those words I was singing I believed in it that I was going to rise that was just a little flashback in my head as I was in the car coming down thinking wow you know I think we have to be really careful what we're saying and even what music we're listening to because you are feeding your soul with stuff and I think the music I was feeding my soul with was really important Anthony Hamilton's album Ain't Nobody Worrying I was feeding my soul with some music and telling myself things that was going to have a big impact in how I was going to move myself forward Music is a massive powerful thing that it can send you both ways it plays with your emotions and when I'm out running I listen to motivational stuff I'm just constantly feeding the mind the mind is like a sponge so I would rather listen I used to listen to a lot of rap music to pack the game 50 Cent, Snoop Dogg, Naz, but it's all about violence and sometimes if I'm in the gym I will throw that on but I tend to come out and I feel fucking angry It's different music for different occasions different emotions that you need when I used to fight on Frank Warren I was a lot heavyweight with Frank Warren I used to say look you're going to have to take down some of that music because the music was like hip-hop and it was aggressive and it just made me like yeah I'm going to do something so that's what was needed at that time sometimes you go in the gym you need something hype to get you going to get through the mad training session that you're going to have to go through Because motivation isn't there 24-7 which we'll touch on later on in the podcast but always go back to the start with my guest brother where you grew up and how it all began yeah, yeah where I grew up Wood Green Wood Green in Tottenham was my haunts my areas and it's crazy growing up because the first thing I noticed that sort of made me wonder and question things was just how you're treated by others when you're growing up so firstly outside of my home what impacted me was just how white people treated me like the way they would touch my hair and oh you don't have to comb your hair and like little did I realize that the ignorance in people what they were taught about people of color you know black people and how they looked after their self and thought that we didn't comb my hair we didn't do this it was what was taught to them so that's what I got from them and then you see as I got a little bit older I'd notice you know sometimes you see a woman sort of like draw herself in hold her bag on the bus when you'd get on the you know on the top deck and I'd sort of look at them like were you acting like that for and then you know why you'd realize why exactly like just this mindset that was already taught that you know black guys are aggressive they'll rob you and stuff like that and you become resentful you know you become resentful to police because you're just going home from taking your shopping bag you're ten years old you go around a corner to the shop feds pulling up on you treating you like you're some big criminal all you got is a bag with sugar and eggs to go back home to your mom and they're going for your bag you nicknace so you kind of grow up on the streets with this you kind of gain this knowledge that the world perceives you and you get angry with the world for how they're looking at you and you know that's not who you are and then when you go inside your house you're dealing with fear because you've got a lovely mom lovely dad a dad that you really look up to you've got your two brothers and your sister older sister older brother and then one younger brother and it's fun it's great it's lovely you know it was respect for your parents respect for your elders respect for authority the times I grew up that was in place but it was strange because we got more beats than any time in history when you look at how kids are dealt with and brought up by their family and I think it was the result of that Jim Crow mentality that was slave mentality that was passed through the parents you get beaten for everything you're told you're less than so that's placed inside your psyche so even when you got your children you're doing the same thing to them and when you hand out punishment it doesn't fit the crime my dad was handing out brutal beatings where your skin was coming off because at the end of the skipping road would take that top bit of skin off and you'd have big swellings sick to the cuts and you'd be going to school like that but that's your world from home that you're in they don't really know about it and you go to school and people wonder why you can switch and get mad like I remember this I was playing football in the playground and someone kicked the ball right down to the other end of the playground and then I ran all the way to the end of the playground and some guy about above me must have kicked the ball all the way back down the end so I'm like I ran all the way up here for the ball and you've kicked it all the way back down I banged him up what kind of a mindset is that it's like I would switch if you took the piss out of me I'd be known to end up having a rock with my own mate because of the way that I was getting dealt with at home hurting people hurt people so I was hurting others based on my own anger and based on me just wondering why am I getting treated like this by my dad that's supposed to be loving me and caring for me and I look up to him like he's the hope, like I'm a great man so you were conditioned to violence was normal at that time so if you were being violent towards then you could be violent towards other people I think so because that was a wide way of dealing with stuff because I got taught that's the way of dealing with stuff is to beat and cause punishment and pain it's sad that kids can be conditioned from a young age to think that's normal and then you accept it and that's where the anger, frustration, the abandonment issues everything kicks in and that's where you feel the fire of becoming so angry and full of hate and rage racially abused people thinking that you're going to mug them your dad beating you you think is this what world's about is this what life's about can you see how sometimes we look at people in their behavior but we do not see what's actually going on in their everyday life and in my everyday life there was a lot of pain there was a lot of fear so I'm going through emotional and mental abuse physical abuse because my skin's getting damaged and harmed and how it's affected me when I'm seeing my sister being beaten because sometimes my dad would take off your clothes and to see my sister having her clothes taken off I was a broken little boy that used to have me I used to cry more seeing my brothers and my sisters getting beaten then I would for me I can remember some vicious beatings from a young age I remember my mom one day told me how my dad was crying in the car and my dad was like bang, bang, bang to shut me up and that was when I was a kid in the car, I don't know my age but I was in the car so that was my dad my dad had his own stuff that he needed to deal with and when you look back at him now because as people could listen to the story they could be like oh what your dad's this and that but then I got to understand my dad and found out that his mom used to beat him and his mom used to beat him so bad she'd send him in the river but in the river it's dangerous my dad's in Guyana, he's from Guyana so he's not only got all this pain he's dealing with he's shit scared because he's in this river thinking what could come out and get me so he's dealing with a luck himself and he didn't break his cycle so he started a journey for me and I had to learn to break my cycle you need to break the connection it can actually be in your DNA where I've got uncles and stuff and bad gamblers and they've been addicted I've had aunties who've been alcoholics I've got uncles who gamble some on drugs it can be in your DNA where it passes down so I wanted to, including myself I had so many fucking addictions I'm thinking why am I like this so I started understanding the mindset and understanding the connection it can actually be in your DNA can pass down the chemical things chemical imbalances yeah and you must break the link exactly right and I didn't want that it's like from when I was a little boy I don't know what I had in me but I knew I wanted a really good relationship with my dad I knew it was my dad but I wanted this friendship and this love and acceptance for my dad because I saw him as a strong lovely man he was so popular out there people would love my dad every time I went out with him we couldn't get from one place to the other someone who'd call him and say oh Prince and they'd be standing up there chatting for ages and I'd just be sitting there like this not doing what these kids do, pulling there there was come on, wanna go mate, you had respect, you just waited and you had so much in your mind it's a great name, it's a powerful name Prince very powerful so when you started going through school thinking you're abandoned and you're bullied mentally, physically what was your, did you become really angry at secondary school fighting every day? fighting was getting into fights a part of my life, I loved the aggression I loved one bounce beats football I just loved anything that was contact and that's why sports was made for me football was probably a bit too aggressive in football I just love going in for the tackle and end up being the goalkeeper at school cause dying for me just anything rough, I love doing and then obviously I started running away from home because I never had that mindset where I'm gonna take this some peoples is where they'll accept things even from 13 I just was not gonna accept cause I realised my dad was effing up my brain with all of this way of dealing with things when I had when I knew he was a really nice guy but he had this other side to him and I had my mum and I didn't want to hurt my mum cause my mum just was such a devoted awesome lady and I just wanted to make my mum happy so when I got caught when I ran away the first time and I was in class and social services I don't know how they found out that I ran away but it must have been for about 2 days and then they found me I tried to sleep at my mate's house his mum came up and found me in his room and kicked me out 2 o'clock in the morning so walking around the street waiting for to get into school for about 8 to find anywhere to sleep stayed up that was tough and that was scary too is that why you were running away because you didn't want any more pain I didn't want no more pain bro what was doing it it's like somehow I could get over the pain because my brother since you say how do you do that my dad used to come with a skip around and say oh first and I'll stand up and go I'll go first and they'll look at me like what now so they all talk about it now how was you doing that but my mindset was like let's get this out of the way I'm gonna go through pain and then it got to the point where my dad was giving me these beatings and I wasn't crying I was taking the beats did that annoy him probably because I was first he was fresh so we could release what he had when did you start understanding your dad's background what age probably when I was a lot older when I started boxing at 21 and what strangers it was him that I started boxing with because a part of my life growing up was training come running so he just said follow me he said follow you you follow him you don't stop you just keep running he's running you run and you come home you teach how to spar you have your feet set your hands because he knew what it was like out there on the street he knew the challenges for a young black boy and he didn't want his son to be a victim he wanted his son to be able to take care of himself so he taught us how to take care of ourselves he tried toughen us up tough love kind of mentality but so brutal it's a bit too much was he doing it thinking it was going to benefit you at any stage well I think there's two stages to this one is my dad's inability to control have self-control and control his anger the other one was the great guy that wanted to teach his boys how to defend their self so in doing that he set a program every day you come from school you come in, you do skip you do your cardio work you do your training do some boxing, spar together what not so that was our life growing up and sometimes if dad came home and you weren't sweating enough you were skipping why everyone else was eating dinner and you'd be watching them at the dinner table while you were still outside in the back garden still training because you weren't sweating enough what ease did you start getting into boxing apart from growing up being around my dad I never ever went to a gym never thought about being a boxer I just thought this was life and after spending like after I finally got to run away from 15 and stayed away and that was just a really rough time because what it is you find company of of the wrong sort because because people want to introduce you to stuff when you're vulnerable but they don't know you're vulnerable and you don't know you are you're just a young boy coming up and you think yeah I'm a man now, I'm out on my own so you're rolling with guys they're older than you introducing you to bunting you're smoking your spliff and then you go from that to start and take ease ease was the in thing it's mad experiences with that it's all in the air love it, powerful boy to sharing all the experiences of those six years when I was just like unfocused in the wilderness and basically using other bad habits to cover my pain and to and getting into crime because you listen to the streets you know the mindset everyone's talking about rolled man listen now the streets steals your potential the streets offers you a few options and job opportunities the streets says rob someone take their stuff, the streets says soulless drugs poison your community the streets says do all these different things but none of it actually develops your character and you as a person so I bought into that and thought this was the way that I could make money this was the way I was because by the time I was 21 I had Tenisa and I had Cayenne so I had two kids and I had my first child when I was 18 years old so it kind of changed and shifted my mindset and made me think I'm not just responsible for me I've got to take care of my little girl my little princess and make her proud but by the time I was 21 and I looked at my life I'm there sucking on a crack pipe all night and then I'm there thinking I wake up I missed the whole day because I was asleep from about 7 and woke up in the night again and I thought what the hell man what kind of life is this I had a dream when I was a youth I wanted to be someone I believed in myself then what's happened to that I actually had a conversation with myself and asked myself some questions like what are you doing where is this taking you do you want to go gel could you deal with a bird you know and I started to look at my own future and that was a really important conversation hence why I kind of phrased this term when I'm dealing with youth and I say have a word of yourself because because the counselor don't have the answers you got the answers you just need to ask yourself the right questions and that's why I got into life coaching in the future because I realised it's about questions we've got the answers in us for our own future and what we need so I began to ask myself these questions do you really want to be away from your kids no one's going to be able to commit crime all their life and not get caught and something doesn't happen there's always consequences for our actions so I wanted to change the direction of my life at 21 so I thought to myself what can I do and I thought about going to uni I thought about you know just getting a job a warehouse job but for some reason I just felt that there was more about me than just going in to get a job and I thought I'm known to fight on the street people know I can fight so when I go into boxing and I said yeah that's what I'm going to do I'm going to box but when I shared that with people and sometimes I want to share this with people when you share your vision with other people trust me don't share it to get any sort of company and assurance and an agreement because it's yours it's not for anyone else it's for you to believe and it's your belief that's going to drive it not people's belief in you so I realised that people were kind of knocking me like but Prince you're born too much weed bro you know you're a little ganja baby you drink and you're this and you're that and these guys have been fighting since they've been little kids 10, 12 years old you're 21 bro how are you going to beat man that's been fighting all their life and you know you're too old to start the game and all of those things could have knocked me bro they could have knocked me but I just had my blinkers on and I'm just you know someone's out there listening and needs to know that they're enough they're enough their belief is enough for what it is that they want to do and they want to recreate their life because at 21 I decided to recreate myself come off the roads all the habits in the company all the stuff that I love doing every day that I thought you know was fun you know was really in reality taking the quality and the potential away from me the minute I got and made a decision to stay focused on something and to have a drive and to work towards that I think things began changing yeah life's a beautiful thing and it's great that you touched on putting the blinkers on because it's your dream anybody watching it's their dream and vision if you tell your mum and your dad your best friend you can project their fears onto you and when you start focusing on your dream and going to your path people don't like either because they think he can do that but why can't I so a lot of resentment comes but again it's just to put the blinkers on stay focused and understand that anything can be achieved powerful thing also there is a 60% connection from childhood trauma and addiction the addiction is it's just escaping from the fucking pain the misery, the torment, the torture it's just hiding but from years you only started boxing but you then fought for world titles and then won bells and in the next what seven, seven years seven, eight years why so fast did you move through the ranks I remember at first I thought okay how do I do this how do I get into boxing, how do I start what do I do then I found out that when I got in the gym they talked about doing amateurs and I thought so why don't I create a plan where I find out because sometimes you gotta find out for yourself if you got delusions of grandeur or you really are you know the real deal so I decided let me fast-track myself through amateur fighting and see what I'd be like so after like four fights and I won the four the one of the guys at my gym Martin said Prince I think there's something about you could do this why don't you enter into the ABAs which is the biggest amateur competition in the country and I was like yeah cool you know that worked for me because it was gonna help me to find out whether I was the real deal or not so I went into the ABAs as a novice I was supposed to go into the novice championships I bypassed that I went into the property with the top boys in the country and challenged the top ten fighters North West Division that was my area then whoever won that you went on to go into the London titles then whoever won that you went on to win the whole of England and Wales and whatnot and that was a process I went on so that was my dream now was I'm gonna win the ABAs and I found out in the local papers one day that the numbers of fights that I had if I won them I'll be in the Guinness Book of Records for winning the ABAs in the shortest amount of fights so I was like yes boy that's me something they fight for yeah that's me so I was deep on this journey and I had so much challenges through the amateur ranks that really demonstrated my mindset one of the first ones I wanna share is being in with Kenny Nevers who was like a really top light heavyweight I watched Kenny I had so much respect for him in fact I loved his style his left hook was awesome and he scared me cause I watched him I was at ringside watching cause them days you have to fight like three times before you won the title on the same night so you fought you went back the others went through then you find out who you're fighting next so it was all in one evening so I'm waiting I'm watching these guys who my competition is I'm with my older brother we're sitting there and what does it feel like when you watch your older brother in awe of a guy and looking at you like this like oh shit bro and my brother looked at me and was like you're gonna have to fight him you know and then he was like I could feel the fear and the doubt in him and it kind of it kind of it kind of hung on to me and then I just thought cause remember I grew up in fear so you know I wasn't this brave fighter smashing everyone up like my target yeah yeah cause even Mike had fear as well so you know people feel the fear and do it anyway yeah so it was my turn and he won his fight so now I won mine and it was us together but the fight I had the last fight I had I smashed my hand so my hand was swollen so that was my get out claws that was like hey guys look at the state of my hand it looked like a pillow and it was difficult to get in the glove but what happened is we got a few of us surrounded me because officials were around and I didn't want them to see that my hand was injured so kind of they were around me we put the glove in and I was pushing my hand in this glove cause it was small and tight so we got a hand in there and my dad gave me this strategy to beat this guy cause he'd been watching him too and he said listen son this guy's got one hand he's a one handed fighter and what my dad calls a one handed fighter is because he only really had a great left hook he didn't really have much else and he got it so locked he'd been winning on that so my dad said go the other way don't use the small hand just keep breaking him down double the jab triple the jab just keep it in his face so I was like cool and I saw I realized later that I was a good student cause I was able to really take on instruction and I followed that to a tee and I watched Kenny Nevers I looked in his eyes and I saw frustration and I saw him getting irritable and then it went from there to I saw his heart breaking and when I saw Kenny's heart breaking like it was in the second round now and I think we was going into the third round and then I saw like I forgot about the pain I just started opening up on him two handed because once I saw that his mind I took his mind that was it bro cause he couldn't catch me I was moving his face was doing this all evening mate so once I've done that bang bang jumped in the ref jumped in stopped it fight was over bro listen that was an amazing victory cause it was all about the mind there was so much battle it was way more than the fight people look at the outcome but if you look at the battle that's going on inside of you that's where your success is that's where the victory is people are looking for stuff outside to show the mark of success it is inside the victory is about you what you've accomplished and what you've overcome and for me I was the champion of the world that evening bro I was 21 years old and how was your dad then was he proud of you did the show much love and promotion for you listen my dad was the proudest man on the planet I think he had a chance to live out his life again through watching me he was my biggest fan used to come to the gym watch me fight but I still had this pain inside of me from growing up he never came to me and explained anything he never apologized I hadn't forgiven him you know that was still there that was the elephant in the room always and elephants in the room always effect how you deal with people and how you feel about people so because that wasn't tackled dad seeing me being in the gym chatting with my mates talking laughing whatever dad was used to that so he was in an environment where his son has grown remember I ran away from him from 15 he hadn't really been around me since then and he can't accept that I'm this man now he loves what I'm doing he can live his life but he's trying to deal with me like I'm still this little kid at home and I weren't feeling it I'm old enough now so I was letting him know now bruv I ain't feeling that did you address the situation as you got older only to the point at 21 where I said now I think we need to like ease off this relationship and then I didn't have dad as a trainer and I was training by myself and then Eric Seekham came along Michael Watson's trainer and saw me and thought this guy is amazing and my first sparring session was with Michael Watson in Tottenham Enterprise he's another great guy Michael yeah Michael's awesome and once he sparred with me he came to me he was the first to tell me you're gonna be a champ one day you're gonna make it you're gonna do really great but my dad I hadn't dealt with stuff until later years later that was around 92 and around 97 98 I began starting to deal with the issue with my dad yeah working with him trying to make the changes and then when you started moving through the ranks you were the British most up and coming young fighters at the time 18 and 0 and stuff yeah I've got to 18 and 0 you're world title fighter I shouldn't have fought that world title at the time but my trainer really pissed me off we had a meeting with Frank Warren and in the car there was certain advice given to me from my trainer about you know how what to say how to deal with the situation you know for the offers that were coming up because I was supposed to fight Chris Eubank it was two weeks away I was so gassed about I was like yes I watched these men and now I'm gonna fight them there and when we went in you know Carly always said don't every fight could be your last make sure you get paid right so I was kind of offered that I didn't agree with that I was worth a lot more than that so based on what my trainer advised me and he had 50% managerial of the contract with Frank and he for me he didn't step up you're supposed to I'm the fighter take care of business I gave you that managerial spot to do that so even though me and Carly we love each other we're blessed and we came back in 2000 and was it 15 and we had a comeback because I made a comeback in 213 so I found Carly again in 215 he's still an excellent trainer any fighter under him he should have been a top guy and known but you know he had his own stuff to deal with but he was a great guy but at that time I did not love the way that we dealt with that situation I didn't feel managed right I didn't feel looked after and because of that we messed up the opportunity to fight Chris Eubank and sometimes I sit down and think man Frank said it Frank said just trust me don't worry about the money this time next time we're going to drop some more on you what not and I just had Carly because he had such a powerful influence over me he was like a little bit like a father figure in a way he helped to develop you as a fighter and as a man so he had that power over me and I went with him instead of going with what Frank said and missed out on my opportunity what was it like after your first defeat it was actually brilliant after my first defeat it was awesome it was like nothing like what I thought I thought I got to protect my zero you know I could never ruin my career if I have if I don't if I have a loss none of the above it really taught me about life it really taught me that bro you're just going to go through life and the sun shines on you all the time bro this is life this is it bro losing winning failing success all of it this is life get up and become better every single time you drop and that was my biggest lesson for that because formally you're trying to play this part that you're this you know the greatest fighter zero on your record and that brother come into this it's a short business you make your money you represent with yourself giving 100% in every fight and let the chips for where it may because anything can happen in any fight you know a guy could flip in look that way know you're coming in bang and touch you on your chin you're gone and if we can happen in the fight game so it made me a better fighter because I fought one of the best fighters in the world at the time Darius Mikulski and lost in the I think it was the 8th or 9th round I was exhausted sparked I didn't want to go into the build up to that fight and the preparation but but I learned so much and it made me better it made me a better fighter losing to Darius made me a better fighter so I went up in weight because I was killing myself I was killing myself a 12 and a half stone I was about 6'2 flipping making 12 and a half stone it was nothing on me you're always like massive though 12 and a half stone you still look big I went alright that brother I was like that when it was fight time because your career get cut short as well with the knee injury how was that moment that was terrible seriously I made a mistake I made a bad move but you know what's weird because I've always had this conversation with the manufacture of human beings I've always talked to the creator of heaven and earth about my life because I understand that we're all made and we all have purpose everything we got around this room has a manufacturer so how can we don't give ourselves that credit when we come from a big bang or from a monkey or being involved I got an awesome creator because I'm built awesome you're built awesome so for me it was about talking to God about what was happening in my life and I talked to God about my boxing career and I was wondering about what do I do especially after my loss and stuff like that I come back as a cruiser I knock the guy out in the first round I'm like yes cruise away I'm gonna kill it smash it next minute I do a little work with my brother I help him out doing a bit of security as I'm out working with him there's this guy stocky little guy and he looks like because a lot of the boys used to come from country mantras, stars all of that all of them sides and they used to be they used to be on the gear and they used to come up but they knew us they knew the prince brothers and they would always abide by what we'd say how things were going out on the street you can't sell merchandise there outside the premises whatever we put you down there you could make your money so we won't stop before making their money but we just allow them to do it in a certain bit this guy weren't having it this guy was like bro you can't tell me none we don't need to do this so I know what I can do on the roads so I ain't looking to do no one nothing because I know what damage I can do but when I put my hand out say bro you can't go past this bit and man bangs my hand and said brother you can't do nothing it's on so I'm in my head I'm trying to prevent using these because they're licensed so I've got other skills so I took my man's Adam's apple and gripped it like I was taking it out to put it in the fridge brother and my man just pen it he goes mad he couldn't breathe as he's thrashing trying to hit me I take him down so I drop him I've done judo I've done loads of different combat sports growing up karate they're in me so I take him down but when I've taken him down my back foot hasn't turned so my body's here but my foot's this way I can feel and hear the rip in my ligament in my knee and it's freaked me out the pain but I've got to deal with this guy so I can't focus on the pain so I want him to get up and go because he can see I've got total control of him so I give him a bang in the face and I say brother I could flip and kill you right here bro get up and come out don't let me see you around there again so he gets up and go I'm thinking he's gone I've warned him don't let me see you around there shutting posters and all that don't let me see you so I've got my knees like a shaking leaf in autumn I'm saying to my brother I'm getting pissed now I'm like bro this guy could have flipping ended my career I listen to the words I'm saying this guy could have ended my career with this move and I was merciful towards him and I'm getting pissed now thinking now I've got to dish out some proper judgment on this brother so we allow emotions to take over didn't we so I'm emotionally driven now I've walked around thinking alright maybe I won't see him he's gone bro my men still down there posters for sale bro I've walked up to him I'm thinking in my head I've got the whole picture planned out no hands elbows MPs some UFC shit on him this will end in a couple seconds walked up to him we still doing it but I didn't tell you to leave bang so he's gone down I've hit the second one it's been like a one two by elbow but the second one's missed because he's on the way down already as he's dropping now all of a sudden my brothers my bridgins that are working with me on the shift everyone's just moved in and everyone's on some stomping bro they're mashing my man so I'm trying to get everyone to stop like now it this between me and him no one listen everyone's freaked out getting mad stomping this guy I'll see his head my brain says bang him in his face but I'll kick him and then another thought was don't use your right leg but I'm not that's just thoughts are going through my head I've used my right leg next minute I'm sitting on the floor like this thinking why am I on the level with my guy looking at him on the floor so I look like this my foot which is supposed to be in front of me is over here my freaking knee when I look is pushing out my tracksuit I thought it came out the skin so I'm screaming my leg my leg the pain's kicked in because the pain ain't kicked in until I looked at the thing I looked at my brother skin my leg he's looked at me and just turned his eyes because he can't look my other brother now has come up my younger brother's come up and he was starting kiss kiss of the dragon with jet lee that was it that one with that black guy comes in with the leather jacket in the shop strips his leather jacket that's what brother he's in that one yeah call him Prince have a check out on that he comes up and he holds I'm holding the foot and I'm looking at his face say put it back in I'm screaming he goes you sure I'm like yeah and he's just gone bang and put it on I've left ahhhhh luckily for me some feds of bastard corner they flagged them down bro I don't know what they said to him and then the friends have come over and what's happened I don't know what concert it must have been might have been Tina Turner's concert that night and it's thousands it's like ants on the street now they've left we're supposed to be working but obviously everyone's with me so as everyone's pouring out the concert coming out the police can't the ambulance can't get to me so the police lift me up with all my brothers I'm screaming my head off because every movement even my movement my hand is hurting my flipping leg they get me in the car take me out get me through the cry get me to the ambulance and that's the start of my bloody nightmare I can't believe you says put it back in it's not a dislocated shoulder it was like something out of Rambo breath and that was the end of your career that moment that was it bruv that was it 2000 wow I think 30 years old still young at your prime still young bruv I was offered a fight with Johnny Nelson bruv do you know what I'm saying okay cool 40 bags not enough let's see I was in contact with Don King I was in contact with Jackie Callan I was in contact with a few for more than a year in America we were going to do something you know there was so much left in me to do so how was that obstacle another obstacle in your life to deal with the kind that you had out to make something of your life bruv I was finished honestly I thought I was done I thought I was done remember I just got married I'm at home, leg up crutch between my nuts and my ankle just all I could do is I'm in this nutty pain and my legs straight I can't even go up the stairs I was downstairs on my city for months even to go in the shower had to tie up my leg with a black plastic bag just to go in the shower because I was sick of having washes man it was so depressing you know I really I was angry with God man I was like man I'll turn my life around I've done all of this for this to get to this point you know we want someone to blame in it it's easy to blame God it's easy to blame God so you know I just blamed him for everything until I realized that wait a minute the one person that can actually help me I'm turning my back on him and that was only making me more depressed so I had to have another conversation and say okay what now what do I do, how do I give back and that's when I started to have a passion in me to want to go out and help young people you've got something you've been on the streets you've been homeless you've been through so much tough times you know the drug run-ins you know the crime mentality and there's loads of youth out there that are getting involved in this go out there and help them get yourself done go on a counseling course go on a youth work course get your NVQ diploma whatever you need to do so I went through that process I gave myself more value I recreated myself basically and went out there and helping youth I didn't get the money obviously it's a completely different lifestyle but I was getting satisfaction about who I was again I was starting to be happy with me and before that I was broken and sad and thought I put all my significance in me as a fighter I didn't have significance in me the person if I had no fighter if I wasn't being able to fight then I was nothing that's what I told myself that was a story I told myself and we all tell ourselves a story that's even empowering or debilitating either limiting or empowering what happened is I decided to shift that change that story reframe that story and tell myself that bro this is the start of something else be great in whatever you do so I began and bro did I stand out as a youth worker doing counseling the kids I created a program to train them more of a help them but little did I know this was all my training ground for what was coming in the future I don't know what's coming in the future only God knows and I really loved helping young people and changing lives and I began doing that in 2001 2002 so you were doing all that beforehand I was doing all that bro until that's why it was ironic for me bro it was like the youths I'm helping with that same mindset these youths are going to kill my boy who ain't on that shit my boy is on focus he's on training he's on looking warm being skilled being a top footballer he and writing them man was the people that he looked up to he loved Arsenal and all of that and he worked so hard he got to the point where West Ham Arsenal QPR was giving them offers bro so I watched actually the manager it was sad I watched a lot of your videos the last few weeks and the manager came on he says when Cajun walked into a room he knew his presence was there and you seen the 40s at 15 and you see the passion even with the manager at 15 you seen upcoming prodigy the day that there was a boy getting bullied and your son tried to split up the fight yeah that's exactly right and then sadly he lost his life he gets stabbed in the heart listen man no one wants to go through that experience it's the worst nightmare of any parent and the last thing I expected was to experience the worst nightmare I really thought yeah you're going through stuff in life don't get much worse than this I even buried my little my six month premature baby in a little coffin it just blew me and I thought man how much more do I have to go through but never did I think I would have to bury Kai a couple weeks earlier we were hugging yeah after the meeting with QPR telling him that they're investing time in him because he's showing an amazing promise he was only 15 they're going to put him up with their first team and he's going to develop him and whatever so I knew what was there for him we saw Rooney at 16 playing against Arson scoring that amazing goal and I just knew that my boy was a special guy when parents talk to me about him and I let watch Kai and his friends being around him they knew he was the man how was that day when you got the phone call wow it's weird because when you get the call stuff goes through my head anyway and I thought be calm don't lose it everyone's losing it my daughter was losing it on the phone and that's understandable but I think coming from where I've been through and going through what I've gone through so I thought about calmness until I know more so I thought just try and stay calm because you've got to drive down to wherever he is and if you're all out of sorts you might crash the car, racing, whatever be calm so long story short go through down to the hospital and then you get the news about your boy and no one prepares for stuff like that your body's not made for news like that your body ain't made for news like that bro so something switched in me where for a while I was not in control of myself I remember punching the walls at the hospital and my hands were in a mess bruv it was blood, I didn't even know cause I couldn't feel anything I was numb and they had to clean up the blood that was trailing when I was walking I remember some feds I never seen a fed that big I was like would this guy work into my gym or something, he was massive bruv and they were trying to hold me bruv I'd just say to him let's leave him, let him go you couldn't hold me you couldn't control me I just lost it I was doing mad jump kicks so I lost my mind hearing that and listening to the noise coming out of Tracy and hearing noise coming out of myself that I never heard before wailing and screaming and I got so little images of just people just kinda looking at us and then going in to see him in the room bruv that's never ever gonna leave my head that feeling of just seeing him looking peaceful and then looking at his arms you could see the knife where he'd been trying to block it and just one got through in his heart just one and that always amazed me cause I had a mate that got stabbed 14 times, died twice on operating table got stabbed in his heart more than once like, yeah crazy things in life don't make sense but if we spend time trying to make sense of stuff we'll drive you nuts you gotta walk your journey you just gotta move forward and obviously the first start of my journey was just filled with anger and revenge I just wanted to kill bruv I'm this named fighter I can't let people look at me and think he didn't do nothing we just let man kill your son for your head you not only got your own demons who are pressuring you you got the thoughts of what people are gonna say in your head as well so I had to deal with those outside and then before I could start dealing with the outside noise but I think that shows your character how you've handled it there's no way that people can see you handled it well you've done this but you've handled it so bravely that you're now helping change thousands of lives you're now on the path to accept in life it's like I had a friend stabbed 18 times he survived and then my uncle got stabbed 2 years ago once died 18 times survived and then my uncle stabbed once and died and also you do feel that pain the misery, the trauma is always there no matter how successful you become or how many books you write it's a battle everyday the pain is there but that shows you how strong we are as characters to the engine we're gonna fuck the outside noise I've been through fights my whole life and it's constant but what you've done now to achieve the greatness you've done you should be proud even your misses here today it's unbelievable how far you've come to now your word and message is getting spread not just throughout the country but the world now it's powerful stuff I come I don't feel like that yeah because we're constantly battling I come I don't I don't people always tell you pride of all this stuff you've done and I try I try to be but bro every day is a new day my battle is with staying committed my battle is staying committed to what I'm doing what I'm passionate about because your emotions can easily have you just coaching in the bed doing nothing letting the day pass you have not being productive but that's actually my way of being able to keep going is being productive setting new goals trying to achieve new things so I want to do a podcast I've started putting together to do a series working to do a five part series where we're doing there's so many things that I'm focused on sometimes I think Pete what are you doing can you even do all these things like some things that I really want to impact young people and teach because there's a model there's there's a way there's a strategy in the system for getting through life and if you look at all the successful people they all share you know common things success leaves clarity there's exactly so they always leave things in their character but people talk about talent we give too much credence to talent are you so talented bro talent ain't shit bro talent ain't shit if you don't know how to utilize this mind how to get your head right and stay focused do you know how much talented brothers that I've seen that look like Sugar Ray Leonard bro that even my brother some of the fastest hands I've seen is from my older brother it takes more than talent my trainer taught me bro you think you got talent you got talent I said someone that works harder than you is going to come in that ring and he's going to break you down and that got to me I was like what what someone that just works hard I said well I'm going to work hard then I'm going to work really hard so that mindset stayed with me like are you working hard enough so when people say you're doing so well you're doing this and I don't feel like that because in my own walking life I'm feeling like P you can do better than this you know you can do more than this you're not focused enough you're not driven enough you're not keeping yourself on point you could be doing more bro that's what my mind constantly looking for improvement constant it's not if you find the fulfillment will never be truly fulfilled but it's to keep raising the bar and of your devil and airman and he says it as well that he gets people coming to seminars of red hundreds of books thousands of books but he says I've not made it can be the most educated person in the world but when it comes to the first obstacle the first speed bump so even before you were a kid people would have just ended up becoming maybe a junkier and alcoholic the fact that you've had obstacle after obstacle shows me that you're placed on this earth for a reason you have been chosen to go through all the fucking trauma and pain every single day doesn't it also show you that it's about choice yeah and it's not about yeah but you're like this though you're alright I used to get yeah but you've boxed to playing bullshit bro every time I wake up the same voice that tells you not to get up to stay in bed to relax you're tired yesterday you put the work in don't do nothing today it's the same voice I hear in my head that says stay in the bed bro that person said that about you don't even bother them no more don't forgive them this and that person done that bond them bro all they done hurt them the same voices I go through it the same internal battle the battlefield of the mind I have to go through it the only thing that separates me from anybody else is the choice that I make yeah and the actions that you do choice how was it then give it was a 16 year old boy how was that then go to court and stuff and the memories and the pain then mad mad mad bro it's like going in and you learn so much about the justice system it's bullshit bro it don't look after people have been through stuff and the things I say that they know what I'm talking about because I was with other people and learned about other cases and they were suffering in the same and there's many little things it's almost like they look out more and care for the perpetrator and what is happening to him and how he feels then then the people that have been impacted by his vicious heartless actions and you know they cared about where he's sitting you know don't put him to sit there because it must be really terrible for him to experience this to put him in the docks so let's put him bullshit bro you stepped up and done something heinous now I know your background is messed up but let's still deal with consequences to what you've done we can focus on helping you once you start facing the consequences of what you've done now we can bring healing to the process but you gotta step up to it bro do you know what I'm saying if I go and outside my marriage I wanna be banging girls and someone gets pregnant then I gotta deal with all the consequences now I gotta be having my misses on me and now I gotta be dealing with another child from another it's all a mess but we gotta deal with it you gotta accept what you've done who you are embrace it how can you change it what can you learn from it how can you grow from it and unless people face their consequences first they are not gonna be able to go on to the next stage of growth bro yeah have you ever reached out to that kid yeah yeah yeah have you ever any replies or anything yeah yeah yeah I reached out I reached out through catch 22 the charity they had their restorative justice arm visiting me visiting him he agreed they gave him excerpts from the pet the book let him read he was shocked that I wanted to see him and sit down in the same room with him and talk to him and but he agreed he's messed up himself this you is like he's stuck in time stuck in a time warp of what's happened to him with Klein and he also seemed like he hasn't like he's got some sort of behavioral or psychological issues with the way he interacts with you it's like he don't quite get it you know that's why I needed to be able to see him like you can't stick a knife in my boy's chest take him away from the family and I don't get to sit and have a conversation if another kid punched my you in his face and and they had a rock and they hurt him and put him in hospital you know come to the hospital and see what you've done you know be sorry if that's how you feel so you're gonna have to meet the family you're gonna have to step up to what you've done and I'm saying to him he hasn't had the opportunity to do that and I wanna see you I wanna see you bro explain to me what was going on in your heart and in your mind explain to me the lead up to that why you felt it right to be able to do that yeah and what's going on since then what's happening with you what will process you going through what's going through here what's going on in here bro you know I wanna have that conversation with you and I have the right to be able to want to do that should be able to make that available to me to be able to talk to the perpetrator who impacted my family so badly how was that moment then I didn't get it no there's the system put a stop to it bro he was up for it that would definitely help you not get closure but understanding why I just wanna understand a little bit more from his point of view it's not gonna give me any closure them sentencing him to life and telling me he has to do 13 years before he's eligible parole didn't give me closure it was just like okay the guy got 13 years wasn't happy about the 13 years of course not my son's 15 he didn't even get one year each for my son's life that's a violation bro yeah sort of boys out soon yeah well he's supposed to be but they've been contacting me talking to me about it asking me to write in statements for the parole board what not but I'm still saying bro I need to see this guy the system pulled the plug on it in the last week I went back and forth for a year do you think that was easy for me listening to them getting through emotions would you be able to control your emotions sitting across with him I've been able to control my emotions up to date I've been 15 years in it'll be a different ballgame meeting but let's see how the ballgame works and if I can't control my emotions there'll be people in there to control me so what let's do it man so brave brother I'm gonna what you're doing is unbelievable even Loftus Road they changed their name for Kaya and just last year is unbelievable how somebody can change the stadium's name I've seen all the fans and you get 63% of the vote which is mega some great charities even Grimfield was in there so after doing all that and torment how was your life then then you started really wanting to help kids and understanding the crime do you know what it was so basic and raw it was like ok because I had a moment I had another breakthrough moment and once again it wasn't with a counsellor it wasn't with a therapist it was with the manufacturer of me of human beings the creator of heaven and earth I cried out to him because I was broken two court cases couldn't find this boy guilty I was broken one of the court case when you read the book you'll find I said something to a juror who was taking the piss and they did through the case so we had to do another case it was a third court case before we got any form of justice and basically I had this conversation with God where I was like I was so broken I've never seen so many tears and you can imagine I know how to cry now but I'm broken I'm crying there's a puddle on the floor like how all this water was dripping it was way more than that I was just and I cried out to God like what now I give up I was so plagued from revenge and anger they felt like it was was taking my life my life force was being sucked out of me because I was dreaming about killing him waking up you know thoughts come from my head and I'm talking to you but I'm thinking about killing Hannah you don't even know you know what I'm saying it's driving me giving me that force that false energy anger does gives you this false energy that you're powerful and you're this when it ain't and I found out how powerful love and forgiveness was because I changed roads when I cried to God I said I give up I can't take this I can't do this would you want for me would you want me to do it was like when I said I give up I can't take this it was like a weight bro a weight I felt light I stopped crying at that moment it's like something happened but I didn't know what happened but I could tell you that I felt something it was real and I just finished talking to the maker so it was like okay okay let's see how this goes when I go into court I start seeing the conversation manifest in itself because before in that court every day man was like this like I was looking at people like his Hannah's family like this like looking at his dad like I beg you say something I beg you look wrong look wrong I'll slap the bitch out your mom everything bro so I'm thinking he's mad thoughts every day I go in this time and I'm like this bro I'm just calm things are going on in court I'm not even responding like I was that bastard I can't even say that I'm just like this Trace is like talking I'm just like it's alright it's going to be alright Trace and in my head I'm thinking what the hell so I've like continued letting things go and then I get invitations to speak so the first thing is in my head I'm a fighter I a speaker that's not what I do in fact I shit myself to go up in a fight of a crowd that are looking at me groping at me what's he got to say and I'm going to talk I don't know what you know what I'm saying I'm too scared my hands get clammy my mouth gets dry like I'm starting to like just freeze up but I thought I remember that conversation I had and I thought let me just go with what's happening so I went with what was presenting itself to me so I do this talk kids parents everyone's coming to me kids coming to me parents coming to me arguing me and I'm like wow they got something from this this is there maybe something in this so I'm always scared when I go out to speak but I'm doing it anyway so I'm doing and it's coming to me I'm not going to try to be a speaker it's coming to me emails are coming to me media's coming to me so I'm like just go with it just go with it bro what 15 years later bro 15 years later I'm here kind Prince foundations here I just wanted to be when I thought about a charity I wanted it there so I could be a dad to other children like I was a dad to kind you know Trace was a great mom to kind as you can see how we turned down and I was a great dad to kind as you can see how we turned down I wanted to continue this by doing it to other children because I realized you used to got pains like me when I was a youth they're suffering with stuff like I was people don't get it I know what it's like to buy into the road mindset I know what it's like to believe that I want money I want I want to have good things as well but how am I going to get it I ain't educated I ain't got this I ain't got that I'm going to teach you how here's the blueprint so I didn't have to go inside myself and understand how I done this how did I do this and break it down package it and put strategies on it and I realized it was about here so I went more to study to understand psychology understand how my mind works you know just doing life coaching understanding strategies how do you help someone to overcome their fears how do you get them to start moving into action to lead fulfilling lives purpose filled lives how do you do that and there's a way there's a blueprint for success and I wanted to give it to the young people and give it to anyone who had ears to listen to the truth and you're doing that brother this is what I'm saying sometimes we're the pawn in the maker whoever creates us to say right those cards you're getting dealt why because you're strong enough to play them so sometimes it's not about why me you know yourself it's about fucking try me it's yeah sometimes all you can do is push forward and crackle cause I'm inspired just listening to your story and I have a lot of hard-hunting stories but your story resonates there's something about you there's a glow about you there's a twinkle in your eye where you're fucking ready you can still see that you're still fighting you're battling but you can also see the presence where you're here to change lives you're here to create and change the game everything like you say as a blueprint you can change the way you think you can change the way you feel you can choose your own life your own destiny now from the present moment and the future life is beautiful but it's also a roller coaster there's some crazy shit goes on as your prime example but you're still here to tell your story 15 years later you've got the book out your Instagram's popping where people are connecting even us sitting here today it's all synchronicity it's all here for a reason you got your OB as well how did that come about it was nuts I just I went to my mum's I'm always at my mum's that's my joint being at my mum's house God rest her soul um she went in July man sorry for your loss brother she'll be proud man yeah mum went in July and um I let her came to my mum's and I just opened the letter I saw like some official stamp majesty and whatever I was thinking I owe you what they are after me for I ain't got nothing for you can't get blown out of a stone you tell I just opened it and I just see them giving me something I was like what the hell you know I said he's going to blow my mum's mind because she's been over here hard working win rush generation gone for a lot of shit taking a lot of shit from the country and from people but still just been a beautiful person and never been down to you know tourists in you know where tourists go in London Buckingham Palace never done all that so you know to be able to go there but this time pass everyone at the gate drive in and take her inside was beautiful for me knowing what that meant for my mum you know so I was a beautiful experience and I know that was a proud moment for my mum yeah that was just awesome because people because of the way I see life and I don't put so much value on things like I used to when I was younger you know you want things if one's got things great so you want it but I realise that you want it because not for the things what you think it's going to do for you you think getting that's going to make you happier getting that's going to give you that joy that you're looking for yeah it's not that's why so many people with money and everything you find why are they doing that in their life why are they unhappy because the things don't make you happy we look at Tyson Fury he ended up in his biggest depression ever when he's titles and he won't have all the money perfect example man perfect example and now look at him full of joy full of life yeah he struggles with his stuff and like everyone's going to struggle but I really want people to get this how can people get the book you can get the book on Amazon you can get the book we'll leave all the links in the description for people please you can get the book on Amazon I'm trying to contact Trinity Mira because it's coming like them they sold out someone told me that they couldn't get it I had to get it second hand on Amazon I was like no no no Trinity Mira need to pull it out so Trinity Mira I get a new load people are looking to buy the book all the time so we're going to sort that out but I do want people to follow I'm trying to get the message out that you have got great value you've got great purpose in you you probably haven't lived out your full potential there's so much more in you to give and you're going to find purpose through that pain I know everyone's going through so much anxiety so much stress so much problems in here and they're all up in themselves they're all up in the problem because that that blinds them to they're not able to see that there's a better way that there's another way there is and if you could just look outside of you if you could do the simplest of things and go to help your neighbor go to help some of this so much people in deeper shit than wearing you know there was a everyone I used to hear these voices in the family crying oh why me why our family why Kyan well why not us why not Kyan why not our family why can't some other family is going to be suffering with their child being lost why can't it be me why can't it be you why can't it be us that are going through the worst shit but if we can dig deep within ourselves because it's in us to find that ability to say I will never give up I will continue going I'm going to find why I'm here and I'm going to give back and even if you can't sharing your story is the most powerful thing that you can do people need to hear that you made it it will give them a license to keep going we need to love each other bro this hating on each other this jealous of you this stepping on each other for power titles all of that bro F all the titles bro it means nothing I got honorary doctor doctor mark prince OB sounds great but in the day it's not me I am who I am what I give to you the love I show to you that's what people are going to remember when I go they're going to remember the titles and all of that any money that I made no one I've never seen no one at a eulogy talking about your bank balance bro because it don't mean shit now definitely what are you going to give back bro what are you going to do for others and I think it's good that you're utilizing your pain for strength because we're in a world where there's over 7 billion people and it's not a place where it should be a place of love and kindness we're all in the same race people are trapping each other up though to try and finish further and that's the scary thing it's the time we'll ever see a peaceful life in our lifetime I don't think so but if we can plant the seeds and try and help I don't know what I'm doing either I wing this shit but I just know what I'm doing feels good for me I'm not harming anyone I'm trying to spend powerful messages even you today I'm actually inspired by your story brother and I don't say that often it's I think it's phenomenal how far you've come I think from even being a kid from the court you've been constantly battling you've constantly had that fucking fight or flight or freeze mode you are fighting but for the right reasons to create change to create positivity to create awareness and you'll change other lives people come up to you and say you helped my son you helped me because we all fucking struggle every day I battle I struggle I cry myself certain songs will bring tears to my eyes even you can see that emotion for yourself but we do not shy away from it we don't promote ourselves as saints and fucking we are sinners as well we just do bad shit but we're trying to do the right things now to try and help other people and it's for what you're doing is unbelievable listen they feel we've got to change the narrative it's always been about showing off bling it's always been about what I got the money boom boom the champagne all bullshit bro that's lies we're feeding a generation of young people with bullshit lies man told them the truth told them what it takes to get through shit tell them what it takes to keep going every day tell them what it takes to discipline you're gonna need to make it in anything that you want in life and it's never easy it's not even getting there it's staying there you know you could get there as a world champ can you stay there as a world champ you know this life is a constant battle equip young people equip people who gonna turn into adults with the ammunition the strategies to be able to love people to not look at you and look at the differences what's different between you and me bro you're white I'm black you're culture you're different from my your religion forget all of that bro the same heart I got you got the same blood is red I got you got the same cut you feel I feel when I get cut bro the same hurt you feel when a girl distresses you when you have broken relationship with your friends your family's not there for you when you ain't got a dad you ain't got a mom you've been abused the same things hurt us all so how come we're getting upset I see a twitter thing people getting upset cause Sainsbury's got black people on the who gives a shit bro we're doing all this flipping knee down on the in the park bro get up stand up stand up bro stand up and get people on the decision making table of color because all of us are the same forget all of this separation with culture and colors bro we need to start loving each other and that's when things change we need to start wishing each other well we need to start picking each other up when we're down that's when shit's going to change bro not cause you know all of this and I don't not cause I'm like this and you're not yeah it's the divide and conquer though isn't it that's where the vision is and you touch it there like it's easy to make it but it's hard to maintain because it's all about lifting the bar in levels when they do you got a decision for when Loft has changed his name how does that moment 15 years later to walking by the stadium cayans names on the shirts on the stadium that must have been another moment for you wow man I'll tell you when I first came out of the car and I was looking at that I I was in uncontrollable emotion I couldn't stop crying bruv just flooded out of me my son cause remember I was out there with my boy hugging him like yeah yeah yeah signed with QPR bomb what decision we made cause Arsenal wanted him kind of loved Arsenal you know we're both supporters of Arsenal Arsenal wanted him to sign him but we sat down and thought who's going to do the best job with cayans and we looked at QPRs our whole resume on how they deal with young academy players and we said they're going to look after our son and what a great decision see you don't even know how your decisions are going to impact on future life I don't know if Arsenal would have done that for my boy change the name of the stadium can you imagine the Emirates with quite na me I talked about raising money Arsenal Wenger was a guy at the time and I sat with him as well he's my guy I love him the guy that brought in something Dean he brought in Arsenal I talked to him he was the chairman of Arsenal and but I didn't meet him at the time I've met him recently but before that Arsenal was going to raise some money for cayans and that didn't happen so what I'm trying to say is many people along my journey have talked the talk but they walked the walk and I've never had any negative feelings towards them because that's life just keep it moving but I love QPR because they stepped up bro from day one they've stepped up from day one they've shown my son love so we me and Tracy we made the right choice getting them into the right club and it's all about loving and supporting and being connected to the people that are really showing you genuine love by doing and not by talking we love saying I love you we done for me lately bro we done for me lately I know you love me you can't bring your kids up on I love you you got to feel that you with knowledge and action show them how it's done in life how do you deal with anger issues how do you deal with depression you got to show you're you they're watching you they listen to what you tell them you say listen to what you tell them be good get your lessons done do this now mate what are you doing come off your phone study read a book what are you doing I ain't seen you reading no book mom I ain't seen you reading no book dad we doing show me you can always stand up and say I showed you I showed you how this is done you didn't need to go your route because I didn't tell you I showed you and that's what changed my life I realized I can't be on road and expect my you to now become the top businessman the top athlete to be great and successful when I've showed him road mentality and road life and I'm going to be saying yeah I'm going to be making paper so my boy lives a different life bullshit brother you're fooling yourself so through all that you're clearly a man who puts their mind to something they achieve it what's your plans for the future brother bro we got to get this out my thing is a generation needs to see a whole different narrative so when they turn on the TV they need to see all these bullshit lies that music industry uses to project through their music they need to see truth so I want to be dealing with a series that's going to mirror image a lot of the stuff that's going in my life we're doing a cartoon putting it together right now so we can get our audience to young people that's going to hit that's going to help us very soon as well what else is going on babe what else is going on podcast coming up as well podcast brilliant we'll help promote that stuff as well even tell you what equipment stuff we use the podcast look at the powerful reach that you're able to do and inspiring people with what you're doing so these are the things that are a game changer why? because the way they've shifted things and locked us down with Convid the way they've done this is where we've now got to shift our mindset if you're someone sitting down getting depressed and anxiety about Convid then my friend you better think again you better shift with what's going on because it'll be great if everyone was in unity with that mindset to be able to get up and say no I don't agree these ain't laws we don't agree with these guidelines we want to do something about it if we're not going to do that then the very least you can do is decide to recreate yourself because they're shutting down your business they're stopping you from getting out they're trying to stop you from getting the fresh air that God has provided us with that will impact on your health so at the end of the day we've got to make decisions that are best for us and the decision I'm making is to shift go online, get out there because the world's online let's reach them and teach them it's a massive audience and you can build a platform I'm inspired brother anybody that's maybe watching that's maybe a loved one, a son what advice would you give for them people are maybe going through the struggle in the battle but a man who's definitely lived the pain you're still constantly pushing forward so what advice would you give for those in the struggle cry, get the tears out but don't get lost in it oh my gosh it's like a demon trying to hold you and restrain you because it knows what you could do with that pain I feel my pain daily what can I do with it the demon don't want to let you go he grabs you and says man unforgiveness is sweet let's stay in this place grief, you get so used to it you just want to stay there it's comfy, it's like a warm quilt baby let's stay here no, the same way as you got to get up in the morning where you don't feel like it break free from the chains that that demon are flipping grief and sorrow and anger and fear and anxiety is holding you because it knows you are powerful beyond measure if you ever break out and say and decide I'm going to do something with my life I'm going to make something of myself I'm going to do what I love to do in life when you do that bro the chains are broke and when you do that the next day and the next day because some people think I said it once it's all over it's done oh I just keep going back it's worth the fight baby it's worth the fight fight for what you are valued on and the value that people can get from you you're worth the fight man yeah I love it bro where can people contact you Instagram, Twitter, Mar Prince OBE what's all your links and stuff yeah Mar Prince OBE on Twitter and on Instagram I'm on Facebook the website you can find out what we're doing on there can you send us those links so we can put it in the description we can do that please support, get the book understand the story I just believe that I look at a lot of platforms and I think to myself okay great people got hundreds of thousands millions of followers but what are you giving to the people and then I look at a lot of people who are giving their heart and I see a different number of followers so I think that we're conditioned in a way to kind of like go for things that are just entertaining not deep things that are changing life changing as you said it's like a tits and ass you just want that gratification right there so people get big just from coming on with a new set of big ass a new set of big tits show it a bit some clothes spit some bars what real value do I get from investing as your follower and I think that we need to rethink that as well because we could be conditioned in that way to just go for entertainment instead of real value and I think the world is waking I believe there is a big shift happening I believe that we're in a place just now but I do feel change we can create big enough platforms telling your story my story just to create awareness and other people come forward and think ok he thinks that's good that I'm not alone and that's the main thing as human beings no matter how bad you are from boxing karate judo we are still wonderful we're still battling I'm telling you I got battle all the time I was breathing sucking it in man come and just testing me yesterday boy I thought I just want to unleash on this brother man and I just had to breathe it out and I'm so glad I did because then a different feeling came about me I allowed myself to think and what happened so many of us react right when we're in the emotion give yourself time to breathe I had a man one half on just last week we went to Amsterdam it's all about the breathing techniques breathing techniques are changing the world so when you get angry the brain release is all caught when that's what we'll act instead of taking 10, 20 deep breaths it's more better than you think it's not really worth it would you like to finish up on anything brother? I just want to finish up on love the power of love man because we think we just get we get hard on about being hard you know he's so hard he's so tough and all of that but you want to be really tough bro love someone love the unlovable forgive the unforgivable you want to be really tough try that shit now that's an expression of love so I have to promote love wherever I go that you do a random act of kindness that you let things go where you think you know what I need to make you know this I need to make you feel this let it go feel the power that you get from not acting on your emotion but acting on your choice that you understand is better than your emotion that's just driving you amazing brother Marky boy listen for coming on today and telling your story normally after an interview I'm quite drained but I feel inspired by you I think what you're doing is fucking phenomenal I think this is only the start of your journey and I believe that massive things are coming your way and I think and do you know what I fucking deserve it God bless you all the listeners and followers may they continue to support you check out more of my podcasts on the right and be sure to like share and comment your thoughts on this week's podcast thank you